All language subtitles for Human.Resources.2022.S01E07.International.Creature.Convention.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.x264-TEPES

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian Download
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,708 --> 00:00:11,583 Ahh! 2 00:00:11,666 --> 00:00:15,041 Human Resources is going global, baby. 3 00:00:15,125 --> 00:00:18,458 International Creature Convention, here we come! 4 00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:20,916 ICC! The big ICC! 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,125 Oh, I can't wait to fuck a bunch of randos 6 00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:28,166 at a magical Radisson in the sky above North Korea. 7 00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:31,583 Ooh, Maury, will you write my room number on my forehead in Sharpie 8 00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:34,041 so everyone knows where to find me and my holes? 9 00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:36,791 Of course, Connie. What about you, Walter? 10 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:40,291 Are you excited for your annual fuckfest with Simon Sex? 11 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:44,583 No, my heart can't handle these once-a-year flings with him. 12 00:00:44,666 --> 00:00:47,083 I'm going Simon sexless this year. 13 00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:50,333 Oh, damn. That's a sad way to start this episode. 14 00:00:50,916 --> 00:00:52,916 Ugh, what am I gonna do? 15 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,708 I can't do this to Emmy. 16 00:00:55,791 --> 00:01:00,833 I can't do this to Emmy. 17 00:01:00,916 --> 00:01:04,625 Seriously, I really can't do this to Emmy. I'm sorry, but we have to stop. 18 00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:07,041 Come on, Rochelle, you don't want to stop. 19 00:01:07,125 --> 00:01:09,208 I know, but it's over... 20 00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:13,375 Hey, Rochelle, my trusted best friend. 21 00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:18,833 So glad we get to be conference buddies all weekend, right? Girl time! 22 00:01:18,916 --> 00:01:21,875 - Yeah! Your first conference. - It's gonna be great. 23 00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:26,291 Oh, yeah, and thank God Dante's not coming. 24 00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:30,125 I mean, I've been in such a dark place lately because of him. 25 00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:33,833 - He really is the fucking worst, right? - Of course! 26 00:01:33,916 --> 00:01:35,791 You still agree with that statement, correct? 27 00:01:35,875 --> 00:01:38,833 Yeah, he's the worst. You should definitely not be with him. 28 00:01:38,916 --> 00:01:40,833 Yeah, but not just me though, right? 29 00:01:40,916 --> 00:01:42,916 'Cause nobody should be with him, right? 30 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,625 Yeah, nobody. 31 00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:49,833 Don't worry, I'm here. I'm here, yes, with a brand-new fashion belt. 32 00:01:49,916 --> 00:01:54,791 And I can't wait to judge all your shameful dalliances from the sidelines. 33 00:01:54,875 --> 00:01:56,708 Hey! There's nothing shameful 34 00:01:56,791 --> 00:02:00,041 about tugging and chugging your way through a parade of strangers. 35 00:02:00,125 --> 00:02:03,583 Yeah, I already booked an appointment to get my stomach pumped. 36 00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:07,250 Remember to tell him beforehand you want to keep the stuff that comes out. 37 00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:08,166 Yeah, of course. 38 00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:12,541 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 39 00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:16,708 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 40 00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:20,833 ♪ So real, so good, so fuckin' real So real, so good, so fuckin' real ♪ 41 00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:24,708 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 42 00:02:24,791 --> 00:02:29,875 ♪ It's like I'm powerful With a little bit of tender ♪ 43 00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:34,041 ♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪ 44 00:02:34,125 --> 00:02:38,083 ♪ Mess me up, yeah But no one does it better ♪ 45 00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,041 ♪ There's nothin' better ♪ 46 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:43,041 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 47 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:56,875 Welcome to the International Creature Convention. 48 00:02:56,958 --> 00:02:58,750 Pick up your credentials here. 49 00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:03,166 All right. Roomies. 50 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,875 Roomies! Fun! 51 00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:07,750 We can stay up late ripping into that shithead Dante, 52 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:11,500 who is riddled with chlamydia, which I gave to him. 53 00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:14,625 Walter, my love. You look good enough to eat. 54 00:03:14,708 --> 00:03:18,500 Well, you're gonna die hungry, boo, because the kitchen is closed this year. 55 00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:22,166 Hey, Simon Sex, you beautiful bastard. How are you? 56 00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,583 Maury. I'm all right, I'm all right. 57 00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:28,875 - But what's wrong with Walter? - He's protecting his fragile Lovebug heart 58 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,458 because he thinks all you care about is his fragile Lovebug dong. 59 00:03:32,541 --> 00:03:36,041 Well, that's not true. I care about every part of Walter. 60 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:39,291 If I could, I'd put them all in my ass at once. 61 00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:43,583 - You are a goddamn poet, man. - And you're a warrior, Maury. I love you. 62 00:03:43,666 --> 00:03:46,250 - Hey, I love you, too, brother. - Wow. 63 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,458 Well, I've gotta run. I'm getting a drink with Philip Fuck before my seminar. 64 00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,875 Philip Fuck? I love that guy. 65 00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:55,541 Hey, Maury, I'm getting a text from Martha at moveon.org. 66 00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:58,166 - Want me to tell her you love her too? - Sure, she sounds nice. 67 00:03:58,250 --> 00:03:59,958 Ooh! Hey, let's go to the Sexpo. 68 00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:03,666 I heard a guy in Iceland made a car that runs on ejaculate, it's called... 69 00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:06,625 - Toyota Cumry? - Yeah, Cumry. Yeah, you guessed it. 70 00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,583 Ooh, I wonder who's gonna win The Dolly this year. 71 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,666 What's "the Dolly"? 72 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:12,083 The Dolly Parton award. 73 00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:15,541 It is the most prestigious humanitarian award a creature can get. 74 00:04:15,625 --> 00:04:19,083 Yeah, it takes a big heart. And let me tell you, big tits don't hurt either. 75 00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:22,000 Rochelle, I, uh, have a feeling this is your year. 76 00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:24,750 Aw, Pete. So you think I have big tits, huh? 77 00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:27,625 No, I think they're very normal. 78 00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:30,625 They're perfect. I mean, I don't know what they look like. 79 00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:33,958 - I only look at your face. - Relax. I'm just fucking with you. 80 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,416 Oh! 81 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,500 That's funny. 82 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:41,500 Um, hey, speaking of amusement, we should get a drink before dinner? 83 00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:42,708 All right. You're buying. 84 00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:46,083 I'd love to buy. I have my debit card, traveler's checks. 85 00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:49,000 You'll find I have many modes of payment. And she's gone. 86 00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,916 Hey! Watch out for Rochelle, dude. 87 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,958 Her heart is fucking rotten. 88 00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:55,625 And between you and me, her tits are mostly bra. 89 00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:57,416 That's a good one, Emmy. 90 00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,958 Uh, can you please let go? You're hurting me. 91 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:02,666 Yeah, that's called pulling a Rochelle 'cause she's a hurter 92 00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,958 and she's additionally also bad. 93 00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:08,333 What's up, my fellow Shame-heads? 94 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:15,375 Uh, hello, I'm Lionel from the US office. Would you like to trade business cards? 95 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,125 Are you sure your name isn't 96 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,958 "Pathetic Loser With a Hideous Braided Belt"? 97 00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:21,416 No, it's Lionel. 98 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,458 That guy is so lame. 99 00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:25,500 Excuse me, barkeep? Hello? 100 00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,625 Hello? I know you can see me. 101 00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:30,583 - Here, let me help you. Bartender! - What would you like? 102 00:05:30,666 --> 00:05:32,791 One Shamearita, please. 103 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:36,875 It's like a margarita, but the bartender has to whisper something bad she did 104 00:05:36,958 --> 00:05:39,291 into the cup before she gives it to you. 105 00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,625 I stepped on my boyfriend's tiny dog. 106 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,791 And I'll have a tap water in a piping hot glass. 107 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:46,708 Oh, straight out of the dishwasher, please. 108 00:05:46,791 --> 00:05:48,250 - You're not drinking? - Oh, no. 109 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:52,875 No, I need my senses sharp so I can judge others as cruelly as possible. 110 00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:54,708 It is a work trip, after all. 111 00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:58,041 - That's too bad. - What is? What's bad? 112 00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,291 Please don't turn away. 113 00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:03,708 It's just... I've been watching you and that magnificent belt. 114 00:06:03,791 --> 00:06:06,333 You like it? I bought it just for this conference. 115 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:09,291 Well, if you're willing to take it off, 116 00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:14,041 I was hoping we could ditch this stupid mixer and get a little shameful ourselves. 117 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,625 Ditch the mixer? 118 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:20,208 And miss an exclusive opportunity to network with industry thought leaders? 119 00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:22,750 Listen, where I'm from, we have a saying, 120 00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:26,583 "Life is short, so come upstairs to my room and fuck me." 121 00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:29,000 Ooh, Lionel likey very muchy. 122 00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:30,791 Mmm! Ah! 123 00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:36,000 Let's entwine ourselves like the braids of my brand-new belt. 124 00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,500 Yeah! 125 00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:40,000 Sorry. I went too far. Sorry about that. 126 00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:44,166 Roll up, roll up. Jars of cum from around the world. 127 00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,875 Oh, my. What's this freaky little box do? 128 00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,875 This is the Kickstand 3000. 129 00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:53,958 It's a VR experience where you can feel what it's like to be inside a boner. 130 00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:57,166 T-shirts! Get your T-shirts! We got Mickey Mouse with tits. 131 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,916 We got Homer Simpson titty-fucking a Bart Simpson. 132 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,416 I will take 500 of Pikachu rimming Eeyore, please. 133 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:06,333 Hey, amigo, amigo, since you're getting so many T-shirts, 134 00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:08,416 I'll throw in a free key chain, eh? 135 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,166 Hey, thanks a lot, man. I love you. 136 00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:15,875 What is your deal? Why are you telling everyone "I love you" all of a sudden? 137 00:07:15,958 --> 00:07:18,000 I don't know, I guess I'm just an affectionate guy. 138 00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:19,333 Well, you never said it to me. 139 00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:21,541 Well, 'cause it'd be fuckin' weird to say it to you. 140 00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,583 And, besides, you've never said it to me either. 141 00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:27,375 - Well, I don't want to say it. - Well, I'm not gonna say it if you don't. 142 00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,916 If it's so important to you, I'll say it, but you first. 143 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,166 - We'll do it at the same time. - Fine. Should we do it right now? 144 00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,250 Eww, no! 145 00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:37,291 I think maybe we should be alone for our first time. 146 00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,791 Yes, that seems best. 147 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,875 Spunk Tank. Take a dip in the Spunk Tank. 148 00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:44,958 Ladies and gentlemen, remember, this is for charity. 149 00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:52,625 Simon Sex, what is more important to the human experience, love or lust? 150 00:07:52,708 --> 00:07:54,666 Well, I'm a Hormone Monster, baby. 151 00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:58,083 And I've gotta say lust makes the world go round. 152 00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,833 It starts in your toes, and crinkles up your nose, 153 00:08:00,916 --> 00:08:03,125 and meets in the middle where your genital grows. 154 00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:05,958 Ugh, of course that's what you think. 155 00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:09,666 Ooh, Walter, care to expand on your rude comment? 156 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:13,416 You know, I've just found that love is nurturing and eternal, 157 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:17,625 while lust is cheap and disappears after a nice fat O. 158 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:20,750 Kind of weird to imagine Walter having a nice fat O. 159 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,666 No, it's not. I do it all the time. 160 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,291 What the fuck? 161 00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:27,291 Oh, shit. 162 00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,666 Um, I... I gotta go pee. 163 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:35,083 Walter, my darling, you assume that love and lust must be mutually exclusive. 164 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,041 Why can't there be both? 165 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,958 You're saying there might be love with the lust? 166 00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:43,000 I'm saying there might be lust with the love. 167 00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:43,916 Mmm-hmm. 168 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,000 You know when love and lust work together... 169 00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:48,333 Wrapping themselves around one another... 170 00:08:48,416 --> 00:08:50,500 ...into a flesh pretzel. 171 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,750 God, I've missed you. 172 00:08:54,291 --> 00:08:57,208 Dante, what are you doing here? We said we were done. 173 00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:58,291 You said that. 174 00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:01,708 I made myself clear. I can't keep having sex with you. 175 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:05,250 It's not about the earth-shattering, duvet-soaking sex. 176 00:09:05,333 --> 00:09:08,666 - It's not? - No, no, no. I'm here because I love you. 177 00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,791 What? No... No, you don't. 178 00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:14,083 I do. I have never felt like this. 179 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:16,500 It... It's better than 150 grams of ketamine. 180 00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,263 And if you don't know drugs, that's a lot. 181 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,011 I mean, that could put down a fuckin' horse. 182 00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,041 Oh, shit. Emmy's coming. 183 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,375 You gotta hide. 184 00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,166 All right, but at this latitude, 185 00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:27,458 it is gonna take every ounce of my strength 186 00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:30,583 not to bury my face in your magnificent place. 187 00:09:30,666 --> 00:09:32,375 Okay. Stay strong, I guess? 188 00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:35,166 - Hey, bestie. See you up in the room? - Yup! You got it. 189 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:37,666 Oh, someone's EpiPen is down here. Aiiee! 190 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:38,583 Oh! Sorry? 191 00:09:38,666 --> 00:09:42,416 I said, "IIII can't wait to see you for drinks later!" 192 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,291 Well, IIII am going to the business center 193 00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:47,583 to print out my boarding pass for the return flight. 194 00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,166 But, uh, I'll see you at the bar. 195 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:50,125 Oh, fuck me. 196 00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:54,000 Okay, but I'd rather make love to you. I mean, for many, many hours. 197 00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:57,208 - Think Sting without a deadline. - Uh... Oh, God. 198 00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:01,708 I'm Asha, by the way. 199 00:10:01,791 --> 00:10:03,041 Oh, yes. I'm Lionel. 200 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,958 Nobody asked you, you pig! 201 00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:07,458 Excuse me? I... I just thought we were... 202 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:12,875 You thought wrong. Now, take off your cloak, you rat-fuck. 203 00:10:12,958 --> 00:10:16,875 Should I take it off sexy like I'm at the doctor or... 204 00:10:16,958 --> 00:10:19,041 Stop! Float there naked. 205 00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:21,666 Ooh! What? What's so funny? 206 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:25,750 You. Your legs look like they're decaying. 207 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,083 Your dick looks like it's made of dust. 208 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:31,750 And the rest of you makes me fucking nauseous. 209 00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,500 Um... I'm sorry, what? Sorry? 210 00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:38,166 Get over here, and bring that chewed-up piece of shit dick with you. 211 00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:42,083 Oh, I get it! This is, like, your thing, isn't it? 212 00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:44,291 Shame and sex mixed together. 213 00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:45,916 Oh, how very exhilarating! 214 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,833 Now, apologize for looking in my direction. 215 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:53,541 Oh, I'm... I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for looking at you, Asha. 216 00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,291 - Yes, keep going. - You disgust me! 217 00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:00,625 Belittle me some more, you gorgeous maniac. 218 00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:02,416 Don't tell me what to do. 219 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,500 Piece of shit. 220 00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:07,000 Yes! Yes! I'm that... that... that word you said. 221 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,875 God, I've never felt so alive. Step on my dusty little dick! 222 00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:12,708 Oh, shit! Arsalan. 223 00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:15,208 Lionel. My name's Lionel. But, you know, go on. 224 00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:18,708 - Go on, you can call me whatever you like. - No! My husband, Arsalan. 225 00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:21,166 You're married? Oh, God. Oh, God. 226 00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:24,250 Shut the fuck up and hide under the bed like the cum stain you are. 227 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:27,583 Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm in love with you. 228 00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:30,625 It's cold in here. Are you... Are you finding it cold in here? 229 00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:33,375 I don't wanna be too cold when I say it, so... 230 00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:36,791 Just say it. Jesus. It doesn't have to be such a big deal. 231 00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:39,583 I love you, Connie. 232 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,458 I love you, Maury. 233 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:44,500 Oof. Okay. That wasn't so bad. 234 00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:47,208 Yeah. It was kind of nice to say. 235 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:48,791 So, what now? 236 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,375 Should we, I don't know, make love? 237 00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:53,583 Sure thing, lover. 238 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,458 That was... 239 00:11:57,541 --> 00:11:59,208 - Not good. - ...very bad. 240 00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:01,375 I... love you? 241 00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:02,958 Ew, ew, stop. That's nasty, stop. 242 00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:06,166 Yeah, it felt weird immediately coming out of my mouth. I'm sorry. 243 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:08,916 Walter? Where's Walter? I need to talk to him. 244 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,333 Walter's in the bathroom. 245 00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:13,916 He seems to be listening to a Mariah Carey album from start to finish. 246 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,333 And I'm just not comfortable interrupting that. 247 00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:17,541 I'm a total asshole! 248 00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:19,541 I've been involved with this guy Dante 249 00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,625 that my best friend was just hooking up with 250 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,125 and I've been keeping it from her! 251 00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:24,625 - Whore! - I know! 252 00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:26,625 How could you do this to Emmy? 253 00:12:26,708 --> 00:12:28,916 I just can't help myself! 254 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,750 I tried to break it off with him, 255 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,916 but then he came here, and he told me he loves me, and... 256 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,250 - What if I love him too? - Oh! Well, that would change everything. 257 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:42,291 - It would? - Simon, honey, should we sing about it? 258 00:12:42,375 --> 00:12:43,791 What are we waiting for? 259 00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:50,583 ♪ So you've been sexing With your best friend's lover ♪ 260 00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:53,333 ♪ Well, girl, you got to know This unwritten rule ♪ 261 00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:54,291 There's a rule? 262 00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:58,125 ♪ If it's love that you feel You got a right to make it real ♪ 263 00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,750 ♪ But if it's only fucking ♪ 264 00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:01,791 - ♪ That shit ain't cool ♪ - Oh. 265 00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:08,375 ♪ You see, it's all about your motivation Are you a Jezebel or Juliet? ♪ 266 00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:09,291 Well, neither. 267 00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:13,083 ♪ Does he fill your heart With excitation? ♪ 268 00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,666 ♪ Or does he only make your panties wet? ♪ 269 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:16,750 What are you saying? 270 00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:18,625 - ♪ Are you in love? ♪ - Me? 271 00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:20,625 - ♪ Or just an asshole? ♪ - Maybe. 272 00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:23,208 ♪ You've got to make up your mind And commit ♪ 273 00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,291 Like now? 274 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:28,083 ♪ Do you feel it in your soul? Are you half of a whole? ♪ 275 00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:30,791 ♪ Or just a horny, selfish Double-crossing ♪ 276 00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:32,958 ♪ Sex-crazed piece of shit? ♪ 277 00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:35,416 Okay. Okay, I get it. Let me think. 278 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,375 ♪ We share A deeply satisfying connection ♪ 279 00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:42,125 ♪ Do you just mean how nice He fits in your box? ♪ 280 00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:43,041 Yes! No. 281 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,791 ♪ He gives me warm, strong waves Of affection ♪ 282 00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:49,666 ♪ Like when you're riding On his three sweet cocks? ♪ 283 00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:50,583 Well that too, but... 284 00:13:50,666 --> 00:13:54,208 ♪ Do you cuddle and coo When the sex is through? ♪ 285 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:57,083 ♪ Or get your rocks off And you're out the door? ♪ 286 00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,166 ♪ I like to cuddle ♪ 287 00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:00,625 - ♪ You want to be there when he's needy ♪ - Yes! 288 00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:02,458 - ♪ His savior and his sweetie ♪ - Yes! 289 00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:04,583 ♪ Or just his Late-night booty call whore? ♪ 290 00:14:04,666 --> 00:14:05,500 No offense. 291 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,375 - ♪ Am in love? ♪ - ♪ Are you in love? ♪ 292 00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,541 - ♪ Or just an asshole? ♪ - ♪ Could be an asshole ♪ 293 00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:11,875 ♪ Is the passion in my heart or my clit? ♪ 294 00:14:11,958 --> 00:14:12,958 ♪ In your clit ♪ 295 00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:16,750 ♪ Am I righteous and true? A lovestruck ingénue? ♪ 296 00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:22,125 ♪ Or just a vile, disgusting Friend-betraying lowlife piece of shit? ♪ 297 00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,208 ♪ Am I in love? ♪ 298 00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,833 ♪ Or just an asshole? ♪ 299 00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:27,916 ♪ Could be in love ♪ 300 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,541 ♪ Are you just an asshole? ♪ 301 00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:33,708 ♪ I think I'm in love ♪ 302 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,208 I'm in love. 303 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,250 Yeah, I do love him. Thank you! 304 00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:44,958 So, what about us? Is it love or are you an asshole, honey? 305 00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:46,708 Baby, I'm in love 306 00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:48,166 with your asshole. 307 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:49,708 Okay! 308 00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:52,041 Hey, I'm glad you're here. 309 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,458 Can we talk for a second? 310 00:14:53,541 --> 00:14:54,916 Okay... 311 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,375 I kissed Dante at Doug's wedding, 312 00:14:57,458 --> 00:15:00,291 and we've been more-than-kissing since then, 313 00:15:00,375 --> 00:15:02,541 and I'm so, so, so, so sorry I kept it from you. 314 00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,875 Oh, okay. Wow. 315 00:15:04,958 --> 00:15:08,500 Finally, she admits it after 24 and a half days. 316 00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:10,500 I'm sorry. I really am. 317 00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:12,875 Oh, my God, you're such an asshole. 318 00:15:12,958 --> 00:15:15,958 No, I'm not, 'cause here's the thing. 319 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,250 I... I love him, and he loves me. 320 00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:22,166 - What? That's a million times worse! - No! No, it's better. 321 00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:25,333 Maybe for you, but it makes me feel like shit. 322 00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:28,208 I mean, you're basically telling me that Dante loves you 323 00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:30,208 when he never gave a fuck about me. 324 00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:31,375 No, that's not... 325 00:15:31,458 --> 00:15:33,666 And the fact that you thought telling me that 326 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:36,458 would make me feel better about what you did just shows 327 00:15:36,541 --> 00:15:38,250 how fucking self-centered you are. 328 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:41,750 - Emmy, please. I... - You know what? Fuck you, Rochelle. 329 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:44,958 I hope you enjoy my chlamydia. It's quite the strain. 330 00:15:45,041 --> 00:15:46,625 Oof. 331 00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:48,625 Look at this room! It is a mess! 332 00:15:48,708 --> 00:15:51,083 I am not going to put my clothes in a wardrobe! 333 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:52,708 We're only here for two days! 334 00:15:52,791 --> 00:15:55,083 Oink, oink! You should sleep outside 335 00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:57,375 like the hog that you are! 336 00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:59,416 Oh, you're gonna slap me? 337 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,541 Well, I'm gonna slap you! 338 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,416 Oh, he's a monster! Oh! 339 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:08,833 - I hate you so much! - Well, you're stuck with me. 340 00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:11,750 "Till death do us part." Remember that bit? 341 00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:14,083 Now clean up this goddamn room! 342 00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,583 Oh, that was horrible! 343 00:16:19,666 --> 00:16:21,875 Do you think we should clean up the room like he said? 344 00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:24,583 I don't know what to do. 345 00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:26,750 I feel so trapped. 346 00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,291 Well, well, okay. Let's see. 347 00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:32,166 Oh! Here's a pitch. Why don't we run away together? 348 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:37,416 Arsalan would rather kill me than let me leave. I wish he were dead. 349 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,708 Oh, well, okay, does he have any, uh, chronic illnesses? 350 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,833 Unfortunately, he's in perfect health. 351 00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:45,500 Oh, well. Well, there you go. I guess we're stuck. 352 00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:48,541 Unless someone takes matters into their own hands. 353 00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:51,875 Yes. Uh, what? You mean like, uh, murder him? 354 00:16:51,958 --> 00:16:54,666 Oh, my God! You would do that for me? 355 00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:57,166 Oh! I suppose, uh... 356 00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,250 Yes? I'll kill your husband? 357 00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:01,875 I love it. 358 00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:04,541 - It's reprehensible. - It's dastardly. 359 00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:05,875 It's repugnant. 360 00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,833 I guess murder's not such a big deal. It's just, uh... 361 00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:09,958 You know, it's just... 362 00:17:10,041 --> 00:17:12,291 What is it? It's just taking a life, isn't it? 363 00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:14,166 - Shut up and kiss me! - Oh, right. 364 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,291 - Hey, is your friend running late? - Oh, only one hour and 17 minutes. 365 00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:23,458 So... you maybe wanna give up your table? There's kind of a line. 366 00:17:23,541 --> 00:17:28,000 Yeah, buddy. We will blow you if it'll get you out of that fucking booth. 367 00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:30,125 Um, I'll just take the check. 368 00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:33,291 - Hey. - I love you. 369 00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:34,750 - Really? - I do, yes! 370 00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:36,916 I've thought about it and I love you. 371 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:42,791 Oh, Rochelle, that makes me happier than... than hour five of an ayahuasca trip. 372 00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:46,000 - And if you don't know ayahuasca... - Let me guess, it's the best part? 373 00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:47,208 It really is. 374 00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:49,833 Ugh, you're a poet and a warrior, Dante. 375 00:17:49,916 --> 00:17:51,291 Ooh! Get in here. 376 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:56,666 They should make a drink called, "Backstabbing Whore on the Beach." 377 00:17:57,916 --> 00:18:01,375 - I know somebody who would love that. - Maybe you've had enough. 378 00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:04,875 Oh, my God, you're trying to take care of me? 379 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,125 Are you into me? 380 00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:08,666 No, nope. Not at all. 381 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:14,083 Oh, no! That makes horny baby Emmy so sad. 382 00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:15,875 Okay, you should drink some water. 383 00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:21,000 How about I drink that dick instead, Dr. Responsibility? 384 00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:21,916 No, thank you. 385 00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:29,708 Shall I just push him over the ledge? Seems rather easy at the moment. 386 00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:31,916 I could just rush him like a hippopotamus. 387 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,333 No! A long fall is painless. Too good for him. Use this instead. 388 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,500 Oh! A firearm. 389 00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:41,208 Oh, it's so sinister, 390 00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,583 murdering your husband right in front of you. 391 00:18:43,666 --> 00:18:48,083 Ooh, Lionel, I could steam broccoli with my crotch right now. 392 00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:50,333 Oh, my naughty little Instant Pot... 393 00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:52,000 Oh! Hello... 394 00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:54,875 Now, go! Murder my husband! 395 00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:57,458 Yes, your kiss is my demand. 396 00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:08,750 Well, well, well, if it isn't my conference-long enemy, Arsalan! 397 00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:09,916 Who the fuck are you? 398 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,291 - I'm your worst nightmare. - What? 399 00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:16,458 I'm a wizard with a firearm who's making love to your wife. 400 00:19:16,541 --> 00:19:20,375 Ha-ha-ha! You're gonna shoot me, you fucking weirdo? 401 00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,708 You don't have the balls and you don't... 402 00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:23,666 Ahh! 403 00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,916 You did it! My hero! 404 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,708 Oh, I did! That was thrilling! Ah! 405 00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:33,166 Was it too heavy-handed when I said, "your worst nightmare"? 406 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:36,041 I thought it really added some gravitas. 407 00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:39,833 Oh, why thank you, Arsalan. Arsalan! How did you... 408 00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:42,541 Bulletproof vest, you dumb asshole. 409 00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:44,791 Ooh! Say goodnight, Lionel. 410 00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:47,583 Everything's weird now. 411 00:19:47,666 --> 00:19:50,291 I know! Now that we said "I love you," 412 00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:54,166 I don't want to destroy your ass, I want to protect it. 413 00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:56,375 Damn it, Connie, I knew this would ruin everything. 414 00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:58,541 Maybe we wouldn't have this problem 415 00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:03,166 if you weren't saying the L word to every damn monster in the whole hotel! 416 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:07,375 - Oh! Okay, here it comes. The blame game. - I am blaming you 'cause it's your fault! 417 00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:09,583 You pressured me to say it and now you're mad at me? 418 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,791 - You said it and then you fucked me bad! - No, you fucked me bad! 419 00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,541 - I hate you! - I hate you too! 420 00:20:17,958 --> 00:20:23,458 I guess the trick is to show you that I love you by fucking you like I hate you. 421 00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:26,041 Oh, Maury, that's beautiful. 422 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,666 Man, we really did a number on this room, huh? 423 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:33,125 Hi, housekeeping? Would it be possible for you to blindfold a housekeeper 424 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:35,458 and send her up with a flamethrower? 425 00:20:35,541 --> 00:20:38,833 Oh, excuse me, send "him" up. Yeah, I stand corrected. 426 00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:40,416 Well, it's a male housekeeper. 427 00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:46,375 - What is this? Where am I? - You deceitful bastard. 428 00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:49,916 You actually thought you were going to murder me and steal my wife? 429 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,916 Actually, yes. I was, uh, really excited about it. 430 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,666 Look at how humiliated he is. 431 00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:58,375 What a desperate loser. 432 00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,708 Let's make ravenous love in front of him, darling. 433 00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,958 Oh, I get it. I get it. Yes. 434 00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:07,250 Yes, I'm a pawn in your shameful sexual chess game. 435 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:11,833 - Yes, tell us how repulsive we are! - Yeah, we are sick! 436 00:21:11,916 --> 00:21:13,958 - You're positively demented! - Mmm, yes. 437 00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:15,291 You're truly unwell! 438 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:19,166 All three of us, each one more disgusting and shameful than the next. 439 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:24,666 An unholy trinity of sickos engaging in a perverted ménage à shame. 440 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,958 Indeed! Hurt me, lover. 441 00:21:27,041 --> 00:21:28,875 Ahh! Now you hurt me! 442 00:21:28,958 --> 00:21:30,583 With pleasure! 443 00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:33,000 I said hurt me, not tickle me! 444 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:37,416 - Oh, okay! Lookie what I found. - Be careful with that. 445 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:39,375 Shut up, you wretched cuckold! 446 00:21:39,458 --> 00:21:41,684 - Lionel... - I'm gonna kill him again! 447 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,083 Oh, shit! I thought you were still wearing the vest! 448 00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:47,541 Why the fuck would he still be wearing the vest? 449 00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,708 I don't know! 450 00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:52,541 It stings! It's so much worse than you imagine. 451 00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:54,458 - No! No, no, no! - I'm dying! 452 00:21:54,541 --> 00:21:56,958 Lionel, come, help me put pressure on that wound. 453 00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:59,000 Well, actually, I think I'm gonna skedaddle. 454 00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:01,625 I'm not seeing my belt anywhere. 455 00:22:01,708 --> 00:22:04,875 Lionel, please! He's dying! 456 00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:06,000 Yeah, right. Bye! 457 00:22:07,333 --> 00:22:12,916 And this year's winner of the Global Creamathon is... 458 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,750 The Mexico City office. 459 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,583 Hey! All right! 460 00:22:16,666 --> 00:22:20,125 Good for them, I love those guys. I fucking hate you, though. 461 00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:23,416 Aw! Tell you what, I'm gonna give you a hand job under the table. 462 00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,625 And I'm gonna put both my thumbs in your butt. 463 00:22:25,708 --> 00:22:28,208 I'm gonna need you to shift to the left. 464 00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:31,750 Hey, waiter lady. Two more Bloody Marys. 465 00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:34,041 And FYI, your ice cream sucks. 466 00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:35,500 That is butter, ma'am. 467 00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:36,916 Okay, cool. 468 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:37,833 Is she okay? 469 00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:42,083 That's the friend that Rochelle was "not an asshole to." 470 00:22:42,166 --> 00:22:43,000 Oh, dear. 471 00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:46,166 And now to present the Dolly Parton award. 472 00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,708 Please welcome Vladimir, 473 00:22:48,791 --> 00:22:50,916 the fellating Hormone Monster. 474 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,875 - Go, Vlad, go! - You're a shoo-in for this one, babe. 475 00:22:53,958 --> 00:22:58,833 You know, usually when I open envelope, is money for fellating penis. 476 00:23:00,250 --> 00:23:02,083 The winner is 477 00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:03,916 Rochelle Hillhurst! 478 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,791 - Come here, I'm fucking proud of you. - Go, Rochelle! 479 00:23:06,875 --> 00:23:09,708 Boo! Boo! Okay, don't clap for her. 480 00:23:09,791 --> 00:23:14,375 What do you think, audience? Should I give it to girl or fellate it? 481 00:23:14,458 --> 00:23:15,958 Fellate it! 482 00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:18,791 Just kidding. Congratulations, honey. 483 00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,875 Wow! I don't know what to say. 484 00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:24,083 Say you're a lying, two-faced slut and a shitty friend. 485 00:23:24,166 --> 00:23:25,791 - Hey, Emmy, calm down. - Yeah! 486 00:23:25,875 --> 00:23:30,791 No, I'm not gonna calm down, Pete. She's fucking Dante. 487 00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:33,125 What? Rochelle and Dante? 488 00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:38,083 Okay. Looks like somebody took open bar as a challenge. 489 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,250 You're such a smug bitch! 490 00:23:41,250 --> 00:23:43,666 Emmy, sit down, you're making a fool of yourself. 491 00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:45,708 Oh, yeah, that's right! 492 00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:48,916 'Cause I'm the fool and you're the perfect one! 493 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,666 - That's not what I said. - But it's what you think! 494 00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:53,208 You always thought that, 495 00:23:53,291 --> 00:23:57,541 and now you're getting this stupid award, but heads up, you guys! 496 00:23:57,625 --> 00:24:01,250 Rochelle doesn't love anything but her own greedy pussy. 497 00:24:01,333 --> 00:24:02,166 Emmy, stop it. 498 00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:05,291 You can shut all your three dickholes, bitch! 499 00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:10,416 And speaking of bitches, you're the bitchiest bitch of them all! 500 00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:14,500 Hey, it's not my fault I'm successful and you're a world-class fuck-up! 501 00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:20,000 I fucking hate you, Rochelle, and I hate this conference, 502 00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:24,333 and I hate Maury and Connie jerking each other off under the table! 503 00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:26,500 All right, we got a shout-out in her tirade! 504 00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:29,041 And I hate how this room suddenly got... 505 00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:31,250 ...very spinny. 506 00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:35,375 Emmy! Honey, honey, you're getting very hate-wormy. Are you okay? 507 00:24:35,458 --> 00:24:39,583 What, a woman can't speak her mind without being "unwell"? 508 00:24:40,875 --> 00:24:44,041 - Fucking disgusting! - On my fucking tits! 509 00:24:44,125 --> 00:24:45,166 Oh, God! 510 00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,750 Actually, yeah, I don't feel that great. 511 00:24:50,916 --> 00:24:54,416 Goodbye, my love! Thank you for a beautiful weekend. 512 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:58,416 We'll always have the Radisson in the sky above North Korea, my darling. 513 00:24:59,125 --> 00:25:02,041 Psst. Hey, I heard you fuckin' killed someone last night. 514 00:25:02,125 --> 00:25:07,583 No, no, no, he's gonna live, but I am down one braided fashion belt. 515 00:25:08,958 --> 00:25:12,291 I mean, logically, I can't be upset about Rochelle and Dante. 516 00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:14,625 We weren't together and Rochelle has autonomy. 517 00:25:14,708 --> 00:25:16,166 Pete, shut the fuck up. 518 00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,375 You're allowed to be upset and feel things. 519 00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:19,666 Well, no offense, Emmy, 520 00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:23,083 but you're not the best brand ambassador for feeling things. 521 00:25:23,166 --> 00:25:26,208 I think it's better to bury all my emotions deep down. 522 00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:27,833 I wish I could do that. 523 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,583 What's up, Maury? That's your fourth sigh in two minutes. Spit it out. 524 00:25:32,666 --> 00:25:35,500 Nothing! I'm just really, really 525 00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:37,250 not in love with you. 526 00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:39,791 Well, good. Let's keep it that way. 527 00:25:39,875 --> 00:25:40,875 Okay. 43316

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.