All language subtitles for The Return of Sherlock Holmes 1987

Heat. Heat.

Why are you following me?

I'm going to kill you unless I get my

money.

Calm down. Calm down.

Let me get you a drink.

There you go.

Heat. Heat.

May I help you?

Yes. I need to see Miss Watson.

I'm afraid she isn't in right now. If

you'd care. Speak of the devil. Miss

Watson. Mr.

Spellelman. Myron Spelman. S P L L.

Right this way.

What brings you to my office, Mr.

Spellelman?

Well, this isn't very easy for me to

say. I think my wife is cheating on me.

I came back a day early from a business

trip to Buffalo, and she didn't show up

for 24 hours, and she told me she'd been

with her mother, but her mother had

called looking for her while she was

out. Miss Watson, would you follow my

wife and find out what is going on?

Cream and you're there.

Yes. Thank you.

How did you know?

Oh,

it's just an act.

Mr. Spellelman,

I can assure you your wife's not

cheating on you.

Are you sure?

Yes. And I think if you can bring up

your suspicions to her nicely, not

hostily, you'll be surprised. There's a

simple explanation.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You just managed to blow a good $300 in

tailing money.

Well, I am not going to steal money from

that poor man. Hello, Mrs. Spellelman.

Jane Watson,

I've got some good news for you. Your

husband is not cheating on you. No, he

loves you very much.

And if he brings it up, tell him the

truth about your hanging around his

office and going to Buffalo to spy on

him.

He'll understand.

I'm sure of it.

You're welcome.

Bye.

You just managed to blow two jobs in one

minute.

Oh, well, look at it this way. We saved

a marriage

and lost the rent.

When daddy died, I decided to come back

and run this agency because I thought it

would be exciting, not a gold mine.

Well, you're right. It's not a gold

mine. Now, you know there's only one way

to stay in business, don't you?

You're going to have to sell that house

you inherited in England. Now, here's

your ticket and all your father's

papers. You have an appointment with a

Mr. Cox from the bank at the house

tomorrow afternoon.

Where did you get this? I don't have the

money to buy this. Have you ever heard

of credit?

Yes. And it's something I don't have any

of.

Will you do with me?

No. No, Houston. I am not taking your

money. It is the only chance I have of

keeping my job. Now go, Pat.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Miss Watson,

my name is Edward Cox.

Hi.

Now, if you'll just sign these papers,

please.

Oh, I hate to sell it. The house has

been in my family for 150 years

here.

167

and the Watson's a bank with Cox and

Sons all that time.

Now, when was the last time anybody

lived in the house?

It was closed in 1929 when your

great-grandfather died. He left this tin

dispatch box in our office shortly

before his death with instructions to

pass it on to the next Watson to enter

the house.

Well, good luck. I must be on my way.

Good day.

Bye.

Bye.

Heat. Heat.

A matter of life or death.

Proceed to the basement immediately.

A lamp.

Where's the book?

The black one.

Oh my god.

Push red lever.

Heat. Heat.

He really is alive.

Hello.

Can you hear me?

Can you hear anything I'm saying?

You have come from America, I perceive,

California,

and most recently

Boston.

That's right.

Who are you?

My name is Sherlock Holmes.

It was, let me see,

191,

10 years after I dealt with Professor

Moriati at the Reichenbach Falls, when I

did an unexpectedly foolish thing.

I opened an ivory box and pricricked my

finger on the pointed spring inside.

The note with it was signed by James

Moriati.

But he was dead.

No. No. This is not Professor Moriati.

This was his brother James seeking

revenge. He had two brothers, both named

James.

The spring

was tipped with the virus of buponic

plague.

Plague?

Yes.

Lethal

in 6 to 12 days.

There was no antidote.

I fear to ask.

Is there one now?

I'm sure there is. There has to be one.

We've got to get you to a doctor.

What kind of a carriage is this?

Haven't you seen one of these before?

No, I guess you never have.

A horseless carriage.

We call them cars now.

Amazing. Miss Watson.

Elementary. My dear Holmes.

I still don't know how you got frozen.

I had no choice. It was death or my one

chance.

I've been experimenting here at Watson's

country house in secret, of course. I

put mice into frozen suspension and

restored them to life. I called the

process Arctic sleep.

Of course, originally I had no intention

of experimenting with myself.

Faced with the plague, there was that of

certain death.

What is the cure for bubonic plague?

Vibramy, but no one's had the plague in

England for years.

Well, he does.

Will you please calm down, young lady?

He doesn't have a fever.

Enlarged lymph nodes. Any abdominal

pain?

Ah.

Yes.

There must be some other explanation.

He has been frozen for 86 years.

Cryogenics. He invented it. Only he

didn't use that name. Now, someone has

tricked him into absorbing plague virus.

You've got to give him vibromy.

Uh, sir, can you hear me?

You were born in Bristol and have sore

gums, I see.

Not now,

sir. What is your name?

Sherlock Holmes.

And I suppose you're Watson,

as a matter of fact.

Yes.

If you will excuse me, I I have to check

something in the other room.

Hello. Uh, this is Dr. Moy at BenoC.

Tell me, have any of your mental

patients skipped recently?

Irenei,

is that you?

Talk to me right back.

Shh.

Uh-oh. Holmes, come on. Stay with me.

Come on.

Is it Mori Arti?

Yeah, it's Mori Arti and we are in a lot

of danger.

Don't be afraid.

trying to help you

stop.

Stop now. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Never

stop.

I don't know how to do this.

Don't worry.

I've had some experience of these

things.

I learned from observing Dr. Watson.

You must be hungry.

Famished.

Well, no wonder you haven't eaten in 86

years.

Cream smells odd.

Must be bad.

It's non-dairy creamer. It doesn't get

bad.

Doesn't get good either.

I have so so much to learn.

I suppose Queen Victoria must be gone.

Yes.

and the Kaiser

and the Edel.

You know, I read all my

great-grandfather's stories about you

when I was growing up.

I fear my chronicler was prone to

exaggeration and romanticism.

I used to think about your love for

Irene Adler and cried myself to sleep.

That was nonsense.

She's merely a woman I met on an

investigation.

Not ch.

But I'm fit and raring to go.

Where do you want to go?

Well, home, of course.

What have they done to my London,

man? I got you on the head. You don't

like it. That's why

television.

Television.

Radio with pictures.

Ah,

radio.

Come on. We're going to get you some new

clothes.

The new you.

236

229.

I prided myself on knowing every inch of

the city. Now there's not a landmark to

guide me.

What do you mean? What do you mean

there's no landmark? What do you call

that?

God.

Houston. Hi, it's Jane. How are you?

Oh, I'm fine, but the office is a wreck.

Somebody got in last night,

ransacked it, and and left a note. What

did it say?

Your father is dead. The first of four.

The others will soon follow. Sign small.

What others? What for? Who's small?

Well, what do you make of them?

Capital mistake to theorize before one

has gotten.

My father died of a heart attack. At

least it appeared to be a heart attack.

What if it wasn't?

Well, in my day, such things could be

faked with certain poisons.

But I should imagine that such poisons

would be detectable. Now, from what you

tell me of modern science,

modern science has also invented new

ander, more sophisticated poisons

which cannot be detected,

creating a net benefit to humanity of

precisely zero.

You have got to help me.

I know nothing of the modern world.

I am a babe in the woods,

a walking anacronism.

My father may have been murdered. I have

to find out who did it.

Please come back to Boston with me.

Please help me.

My great-grandfather said you could

solve anything.

Said too much.

Can you resist the challenge?

Can you?

You've hit upon my weakness.

I cannot live without brain work.

Done.

You know, you never told me how you knew

I was from America.

You even said California. You said

Boston. Now, I lived in California until

I came to take over my father's agency.

How did you know that?

I have trained myself to observe what

others have overlooked.

My first glance is always at a woman's

sleeve.

That's refreshing.

There was your accent, of course. Also,

I reasoned that only an American would

have quite such a familiar manner, and

the tan color of your skin suggested

you'd come from California

or Florida.

Florida? Is it inhabited now?

What kind of a vehicle is this?

An omnibus?

No, it's a plane.

Ah,

travels on the planes, no doubt. Uh, not

exactly.

I didn't touch a thing.

I can tell. Well, they were a lot neater

at Watergate, huh? Who's your friend?

Sherlock Holmes.

Delighted to meet you.

Cute.

What do you make of this?

The stroke is unusually thick.

This was written by a man who stands

more than 6 feet tall, is of great

strength, and probably weighs some 15

stone, more than 200 lb. He's poor since

he uses paper of the coarsest variety.

He lives in Boston, in fact, in this

very neighborhood since the note is

unfolded. And he wears a cheap cologne.

Holmes, that's absolutely incredible.

It's incredible. All right,

Adam, you doubt my conclusions.

First of all, the police took the

original note to analyze. I copied it

down myself. I may be overweight, but

I'm not 6 feet tall, and I'm not a man.

The stroke is thick because I wrote it

with a felt tip pen. And the paper is

coarse because you are holding a

photocopy. And that cheap cologne is my

perfume.

Oh,

have to find your new name.

I have been known to use the alias

Holmes Seagerson

Melos El Kosher.

Not terrific. Um

Oh, I understand the game.

Homer S. Shock, Moselle H. Shocker,

Schlommo, Hexler, HH Reckless Loom,

Melhawk H. Reslo, and Shellshock Rome.

Ciphers are a specialtity.

Oh. Um, there's not a usable one in the

bunch, though. I sort of like shell shop

Rome.

Excuse me. Are you Jane Watson?

Yes.

My name is Violet Mor. Would you come

in, please?

I live at the same address as you, 304J,

but on North Broadway, not South.

Right. Yes. We get your mail sometimes.

Would you step into my office, please?

Thank you.

Please sit down. This is my secretary,

Ms. Houston, and this is my operative,

Shell Shop. Holmes Seagus, at

yourselves.

You're shivering, Miss Mo. Shall we turn

up the stove? Oh,

it's not cold that makes me shiver. It's

fear, Mr. Sigerson.

It's terrible.

What happened?

Well, when I read in the papers about

the break-in at your office, and the

note signed small. Well, this could have

been a much more serious mistake than a

mixup in the mails.

5 days ago, my father, Carter Winston,

was killed, and the name Small was

written on his desk calendar.

I think the note you received was meant

for me.

Have we been working on the wrong case?

So it would seem.

Please, will you help me?

Of course we will, my dear lady.

We charge $250 a day,

plus expenses.

That's fine.

Well, then we'll be happy to work for

you.

Thank you,

Watson.

The game's a foot.

And the rumor was set fire to after he

was shot. Curious.

Your father worked in government

service, Miss Mo. Yes, the FBI until

about 6 years ago. How did you know

this pen? It's marked property US

government.

You said something about a desk

calendar.

Oh, yes. Over here.

Yeah, there it says small right there on

the day and the time of the killing.

Does your father have a study?

This way.

Pipes are occasionally of the most

extraordinary interest.

Nothing has more individuality.

Say perhaps watches and bootlaces.

Uh, could I see a pair of your father's

shoes?

Oh, yes, of course.

What is this? FBI.

Federal Bureau of Investigation. Sort of

a national detective agency. Did you see

this? Morstein kept a scrapbook of all

his cases.

Could we borrow this?

Oh, yes, certainly.

I'd like to give you something else as

well.

I was supposed to go to the opera with

my father tomorrow night, but I couldn't

possibly go now. Would you take these

fast?

I went to the opening of FA with my

friend Freddy Ner.

You know, I suspect he plagiarized from

it a bit.

I beg your pardon.

Forgive me. And now when this person

small referred to the four,

have you any idea what he meant by that?

None. My father only had one close

friend, March Alton.

They lost touch when daddy quit the

bureau. They go way back. Last year, our

Christmas card came back. A dress

unknown. That's my father. That's

Baralto.

Do they made in high school or in

college?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

We don't have clearance for that.

Just

look, Mr. Mr. Hopkins, all we want to do

is run the name Bart Shelter through

your FBI computers and see what they

come up with.

I already told you he is no longer

connected with the FBI, and that's all I

can tell you.

He's not in the phone book. His best

friend has lost track of him. It's

important that we locate him. His life

may be in danger.

You don't understand, miss. The FBI is

supposed to ask questions, not answer

them. You go to a library for that.

Look,

I am a licensed private investigator. My

associate and I are investigating the

death of another former FBI agent,

Carter Morstan.

Why the hell won't you help us? Does the

bureau have something to hide?

Get out of here, lady.

It's a cover up, isn't it? A white wash?

Another Watergate?

Huh?

Look, if you're not out of here in 10

seconds, I'm going to have you arrest.

The hell you will. I'm not moving an

inch.

I think it's time for us to take our

leave.

Thank you indeed for your assistance.

Home.

Couldn't you have been a little more

gracious?

You don't know about assertiveness

training or consciousness raising?

I do know about not being disagreeable

with people who can put you behind bars.

So, what do we do now?

Go shopping.

Could you hold these for me a moment,

please? I'm going to buy a book of 20th

century history. Bring me up to date.

Oh, no. You don't want to go in there.

That's an adult bookstore.

Well, I'm an adult.

H. That'll be perfect. Thank you.

I'm sure your child will love it. Oh,

I'm sure he will. Will there be anything

else, sir?

I should like to look about if you

please.

Please help yourself.

Thank you.

Hey, Jane Watson, right?

Yes. I'm sorry. I don't remember where

we've met. That's the story of my life.

Tobias Gregory. Nobody ever remembers

where they met me. I think it was a few

years ago at that party at Truman

Capotes where everyone had to come

dressed as priests and nuns.

I've never been to Truman Capotes.

Was it at Norman Mailers?

That's right. Of course. Norman's.

I've never been to Norman's either.

I confess we've never met before, but I

did see you on TV with Phil Donigue when

he did that thing on Women Detectives.

Oh, no.

I was home with the flu. I normally I'm

at work. I'm a computer programmer.

You're a computer programmer?

That's right. That's uh what I do.

So glad to meet you, Tobias.

You can call me Toby.

Okay.

When's this uh

young man arriving to escort you out?

Any minute. Why?

Well, you don't know anything about him.

You haven't even been properly

introduced.

He is a computer programmer. He may be

our way to finding Bart Schulto.

Yes, but how do you know his intentions

are honorable? How do you know my

intentions are honorable?

Look at this. A man named Small hijacked

the plane about 6 years ago. JB Small,

the FBI negotiated the ransom with him.

Bart Schol and Carter Moran were the

go-eteens. Small parachuted somewhere

over Washington State with a briefcase

filled with $800,000 worth of ransom

money.

I know. Ah, I remember that this

happened. Oh, just a few months before

Moran retired from the FBI.

Why would somebody who successfully

stole $800,000 show up now? Why Why

would he kill Moran?

I used to tell your great-grandfather he

was the ideal companion because he

understood the gift of silence.

Oh, hi.

Hi. How are you?

Very good. How you doing, Joe? I'll be

with you in just a minute.

This is Mr. Seagerson, and he

appreciates the gift of silence.

Sir,

you are Tobias Gregory.

Yes, sir. That's me.

And you are a computer programmer here.

For whom do you do this? Well, sir, I

work for the BKN credit agency and

they've hired me to redefine their

system in terms of retrieval and update

their language to state-of-the-art.

Quiet.

Tell me, my boy, where are you from?

Rattleboro, Vermont. Uh, my parents run

a hardware store there, Gregory's

Hardware.

And where did you go to school?

Stanford, Graduate School at Columbia.

And what are your intentions towards

Miss Watson?

Sir, I I don't think I understand.

Saved by the bell. Um, the ball.

Well, I think we'll be on our way.

Bye-bye.

So, are you hungry?

Yes.

Good. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you.

What are you doing up? Waiting up for me

like an overprotective daddy?

Certainly not.

working on the case

without your pipe.

Well, perhaps I was a little worried

about you. You've been out with a total

stranger till 1:15. In my day, a lady

would never have done such a thing.

Well, I never claimed to be a lady. I do

claim to be a woman, though, not a

little girl. And I can take care of

myself.

Okay.

Quite.

Now, I'm going to show you what we were

doing until 1:15 and 22nd in the

morning. Toby got his friends at BKM to

let us into the computer room after it

closed down and we ran a credit check on

Bart Schultto. We found out that he is a

very bad credit risk and that he lives

at 1448 Rubadoo Road in Westminster.

That is about 40 miles from here.

Fine young man that Tobias.

That was a shot.

Was much too quiet.

You don't know about silencers.

Bot shelto.

This makes two of the four small.

You stop.

Homes. Holmes.

What on earth is this pond doing here?

Are you sure you gave me the right name?

They've never heard of a Tobias Gregory

at BKN, Stanford, or Colombia. And there

is no Gregory Hardware in Brattleboro.

Just as I suspected. The man is a fraud.

I wonder what Miss Watson will have to

say about that. Where's she launching

with him?

There's not a moment to spare.

He was shot with the same gun that

killed Moram. And there was another note

signed small saying this makes two of

the four.

But why would the plane hijacker come

out of hiding now? and kill the FBI men

who gave him the ransom money. And who

are the other two? If we knew that, we

could protect them. If we could find

them.

Yeah. If you had bacon, we could have

bacon and eggs if we had eggs.

What's wrong?

The man at the next table.

I think he's watching us.

Oh, you're right. Excuse

me.

Could I borrow your salt?

Salt? Yeah. A meal is no meal at all if

it is not seasoned proper.

You're right. Thank you very much.

Was that really called for? I mean, the

guy was just watching us.

Quite.

This is no laughing matter, Miss Watson.

There is devilry a foot.

Can I have lunch in peace, Holmes?

Not with this man. You can't. Mr.

Gregory did not attend either Stanford

or Colombia. His parents do not own a

hardware store in Brattleleborough, and

he has never worked for BKN credit. He

is a liar and a fraud and quite possibly

a murderer.

I'm FBI. The bureau arranged for us to

get into BKN last night. So, you take me

into your confidence.

I'm sorry,

Jane. Wait. You set me up and I thought

you were for real.

I am. I mean, I want to be.

Look,

Jane, my name really is Toby Gregory.

Everything else was a cover. But the FBI

is as interested in this case as you

are.

Then why don't they help us?

Absolutely not. We're the FBI for God's

sake. We're not here to help people.

But how far have we gotten without them?

No disrespect, sir, but what have we got

to lose?

All right. All right. but only because

we're so pitifully short of manpower

since that Graham RDman thing.

Carter Morston was forced to resign

about 6 years ago when he refused to

take a polygraph test after all the

evidence in a counterfeiting case

disappeared from the evidence vault. His

partner Bart Schultto also refused a

test and resigned. And it wasn't even

their case. They were working on an

airline hijacking at the time. The two

agents who were assigned to the case

also refused the test. They were named

Singer and Ross. They two resigned and

we can't find any trace of them now.

So more Stan Scholto, Singer and Ross

are the four. Why is Small after them?

We don't know.

This is the only picture we have of

Small.

What was this evidence that disappeared?

Almost a million dollars in queer. Huh?

counterfeit money.

And the statute of limitations runs out

next week.

And was any of it ever recovered?

A small portion.

Some schlook named Hall Pyraftoft bought

a car with 5,000 of it in a suburb of

Seattle. They caught him the next day,

but he wouldn't say where he got the

phony bills. He's currently serving a

10-year sentence in Levvenworth.

And what was the name of the

counterfeitter against whom the charges

have obviously been dropped for lack of

evidence?

Yeah. That's what happened.

Yeah, I'll find out.

Lysander Stark, big time, big money, big

friends. We've never been able to prove

that he was crooked.

Now, Mr. Sigerson, this business of

yours, does it involve import or export?

Well,

you might say export for you and import

for me, Mr. Stark. You see, I have

sources in England who can handle a good

deal of firm

queer.

Queer say 6 billion or so. I'm prepared

to pay one for six.

Mr. Seagerson, I'm afraid there's been

some misunderstanding.

The door is that way.

You know what I forgot to tell the gents

sent me?

If you're not out of here by the count

of three, Francis and Irish are going to

throw you out.

Oh, by the way,

don't happen to know how I could reach a

Mr. Small, do you?

I see you again, you dead meat.

Well, you certainly made both of

ourselves in there. Speak for yourself,

Miss Watson.

Oh, come on. Where did that get us? Did

it lead us to Singer or Ross?

That was not the intention, Miss Watson.

Well, what was the intention, Mr.

Holmes?

To lead Ross and or Singer to us.

This is the night of Watson. I shall

have to purchase a pair of tails.

No one wears tales to the opera anymore,

Holmes.

Pity. Ugliest man in Christrysendom

looks elegant in a pair of tails.

What shall you wear?

Can I tell you a secret? I despise

opera. Can't you go with someone else?

Why don't you go with Miss Houston?

Oh, no. I don't think so. Not Mrs.

Hudson.

Well, you don't know anybody else.

My resources are not as meager as you

imagine.

I am so glad you relented, Miss Mston.

You were most persistent, Mr.

may I call you homes?

I'd be charmed.

Not to mention charming.

Are you tall music?

I used to tinker with the violin.

Helps me think. What a beautiful theater

this is.

Yes, isn't it?

I used to know someone who sang here

once. A controutto named Irenei Adler.

Irenei Adler? But she was a contemporary

of Sir Burnhard.

You're pulling my leg again, aren't you?

Could

you bring me up to date on the case?

I'd rather wait until I have a solution

to report to you.

I'd rather you kept me a breast.

It's getting late. I fear.

Could I entice you with a knife?

No, thank you. I'm not chilly.

Amazingly

rapid job of redecoration.

Well, I couldn't bear to be reminded.

Of course not.

There is one thing I'd be very curious

to know.

Anything?

All this elegance?

Did your father earn enough to buy all

this working for the FBI?

Oh, no. My father invented a new kind of

electronic chip about six years ago. He

sold the patent in Novatronics and

retired from the bureau. And we've lived

very comfortably on the royalties ever

since.

I think it's time for my hasty

departure.

Now, who's waiting out for whom?

Well, I was working on the case.

Mhm.

And did you find the answer buried here

in this orgy of chocolate?

Well, I got the munchies. I guess a

lipstick.

My dear Mr. Holmes, what have you been

up to?

I've been learning about an electronic

chip.

But I have one question for you.

Yes.

What is an electronic chip?

And this mini phone anting device came

as a direct result of Mr. Morston's

electronic chip.

Hello. I'm not in right now, but if

you'll leave your name and number, I'll

get back to you.

I bet you never seen anything like this

before. Huh? Quite right.

Who's it for? Munchkins.

Munchkins. I bet you never seen anything

like this before. Quite right.

Who's it for? Munchkins.

Munchkins.

Astounding.

Radio without pictures.

Mr. Hampton, I was wondering if you

would share with us information on the

financial dealings between your company

and Mr. Morston. Oh. Oh, I'm afraid it's

against company policy to reveal

financial information, not even to

stockholders.

Well, we are also working for his

daughter and she is his heir. I think

she would want you to help us.

This is a matter of some urgency, Mr.

Hampton.

Well, it is a matter of life and death.

Well, I'm afraid I don't make the

policy, folks. I just go with it. Ah,

here we are.

So long. Have a nice day.

What do you propose to do now?

You're the brains. I am the brun. You

tell me,

Watson.

I don't mind confessing to you that I've

always thought I would make a highly

efficient criminal.

How'd you get so good at this? A

relative of mine wrote a book on it name

of Raffles.

I thought there would be filing

cabinets.

There are. They just look different.

Now I've got to get him to print out

more stands royalty record.

Do you know how to do that?

Tell me gave me a few tips.

Got

more dense file. Now I have to get it to

print out.

Can you get it to do that more quietly?

No. Right.

2722843.

48 1985 $4,342 1986 $5,027

what I was considering sum of money in

my day

but if you charge $250 a day

this is peanuts it's tips and spin money

more spend more on our terms in a year

fascinating

the card

they separate

Stop. Stop right there. Oh [ __ ]

You got me. I me it meant.

Okay. Hands on your head.

I'm not armed.

All right. You sit down right there and

move a muscle.

Hello. Yeah, this is Matthew down at

Miltatronics. Yeah, looks like we got a

prowler here.

All right, I'll wait for you downstairs

in the lobby.

Looks like we'll have you safely locked

up real soon, huh?

Lestrad robbery. Where's the prowler?

She's right over there.

That's funny. They um they usually send

a uniform.

I was in the neighborhood. Miss, hold

out your arms.

coming with me down to the station

house.

Okay.

Nice work, officer.

Thank you.

Boy, oh boy.

They could have used you at Watergate.

Oh,

would you hurry?

Yes, I am.

Oh,

okay. Where's the prowler?

It's very strange. Of the four agents,

two are dead and two are missing.

Two of them worked on the skyjack and

the other two on the counterfeit case.

That means the two cases have to be

related.

Precisely. What was the name of the man

who attempted to pass on a portion of

the queer?

Paul Pipro.

Quiet. Could you arrange for us to visit

him in prison?

Absolutely.

Except I don't have any change.

Oh, yes I do.

Nice lad.

Certainly have changed your tune.

I didn't trust him. I suspected he was

lying to you.

Was I wrong?

No. No. Are you ever wrong?

Oh, yes. I've been wrong four times.

Five, including that photocopy of Mrs.

Hudson.

You know, you could do worse than young

Tobias.

Could you please stop trying to arrange

my love life?

One problem. Paul Pyrooft was released

from prison a month ago. He's jumped

parole and disappeared.

But that's it. Pike is the killer. He

got out of prison and went after the

four.

Why?

Why? Because

Well, I got the first half. You get the

rest.

If we can't interview him, we'll have to

retrace his steps. How does one get to

Seattle?

Uh, sir, you you can relax. We're in the

air now.

Thank you. I relax when we're on the

ground.

Is this your first flight?

Certainly not. Second this week.

Well, plane's really very safe now.

There's nothing to worry about. Uh,

could I get you a drink?

Thank you.

Whiskey

tidy

and tidy.

Neat.

Right.

According to the police sketch, Py Cross

camp was here and his Jeep was parked up

there. Right.

Oh, what do you think you're going to

find six years later?

I don't know yet.

One cannot make bricks without straw.

There's just no end to these little

axioms, is there?

Holmes.

Ah,

quite a coincidence.

In crime, there is no such thing as

coincidence.

Doesn't look like the other graves, does

it?

It's a much more recent village.

Observe the difference in vegetation.

This earth was turned as recently as 6

years ago.

We shall have to dig it up.

Grave rob.

We can't be grave robbers if there's no

body in the grave.

The things I do for you.

For justice, Watson. For justice.

Why did you never marry Watson?

What makes you think I didn't?

Well, your name would no longer be

Watson. Watson,

times have changed.

I was married for seven glorious months

when I was 20. It just didn't work out.

Ah, another woman, I suppose.

No, another man.

I don't believe you would take up with

another man.

Not me. Him.

Oh,

there's a fortune in here. Um, the

question is whether this is the money

that Small parachuted with or if it's

the missing counterfeit money.

My dear, they are one and the same.

Wait a minute.

The FBI men pocketed the real money that

they were supposed to give to Small

and they gave him the counterfeit money

from the evidence room instead.

Is that it? Am I right?

Am I right?

Writers reign.

So when Small using the name Pyraftoft

went to buy a car, he was arrested for

counterfeiting instead of hijacking.

Absolutely correct.

How long have you known that that's what

happened?

I have suspected it. Ever since I first

heard about the two cases.

We hope you'll be very comfortable. Just

sign here. Room 2011 and 203.

If I leave my shoes outside the door,

will they be polished?

Oh, I see

a uh night cap.

Oh, no thanks. I'm going to call Toby,

fill him in, and take a nice hot bath

and sleep forever.

Wait a second. Can you run that by me

again?

It's simple. The four FBI men stole the

counterfeit money from the evidence

room, gave that to the skyjacker, and

pocketed the real money. No wonder Small

is running around killing everyone.

Listen, why don't I just fly out there

tonight and you can hand the evidence

over to me.

Don't be silly. We're flying in with it

tomorrow.

It's no problem.

But I don't even know if there's room

left in the hotel.

Well, I mean, we can work something out.

Maybe double up.

Seagerson is a very private person. I

don't know how he'd feel about a

roommate.

I wasn't thinking of Seagerson.

Good night, Toby.

Jane. Jane. Wait.

Do you think that um when you come back

that we could uh see each other?

Sure.

You can pick us up at the airport. Good

night.

Oh god.

Whiskey.

Neat. Coming up.

Love me. Right.

I just love the classics. Don't you?

Quite.

Buy a drink. Sailor.

I have a drink. Thank you. I'm not a

sailor.

It's an expression. I didn't think you

were a sailor. My name's Kitty. Kitty

Horowitz. I'm not a sailor either.

No, I'd say you were a jewelry

salesperson.

You live in Portland, Oregon. You've

recently left your husband this morning,

I believe. And you have two children.

Hey, are you one of those psychic guys

like that Yuri Geller?

Can you bend my spoon?

Merely observed.

You are wearing exquisitly raw and quite

expensive jewelry together with a frock

of rather less than couturier quality.

Hence, you sell jewelry rather than

being in a position to bite. There is a

white circle on your left ring finger

and the nail varnish on that finger is

scratched with the force with which you

pulled off your wedding ring. Your

posture suggests you have borne more

than one child and that little receipt

sticking out of your handbag is from a

petrol station in Portland, Oregon.

You're all right. I like you.

You like me?

You have a certain

Is there

anything I can do for you?

There is one thing I'd like very much.

You name it.

Can you tell me about this affair called

Watergate?

Whatever turns you on.

Home Sigerson at your service, huh?

Good.

I want to talk to you.

Yes.

I wish to speak with you as well, Mr.

Singer. That's why I sent for you.

What do you mean you sent for me? I had

to track you down. On the contrary, I

told a small untruth to Mr. Lysander

Stark about your having sent me to him

with the express intention of rooting

you out.

You could have got me killed doing that.

It is precisely to save your life that I

took the risk. Mr. Singer

Morston and Shalto have been killed. I

have reason to believe that the murderer

may be after Ross and you as well. You

must take me to the money. There is no

time to be lost.

I'm not taking you anywhere. I must warn

you, I'm a practitioner of the ancient

Japanese art of jiujitsu.

Oh,

we must hurry.

So Singer was using an alias Esbad.

Rural route number one, Silver Springs,

Arizona. Barad.

Curious alias.

Could you call the police, please?

I must go to Arizona.

Well, I'll go with you.

No, no. You turn the carpet honey over

to the FBI for examination and come and

meet me there. I must get to Singer's

lodgings and look for clues to Ross

before anyone has a chance to disturb

the scene.

Just be careful.

First airplane ride, huh?

Third this week. Thank you.

Where can I hire a cab?

You must be kidding, mister. This here

is Otman, not Las Vegas. Ain't no cabs

around here.

Yes, but it's imperative that I reach an

address in Silver Springs. Well, how can

I do, sir?

Just one way. Rent a car.

Where?

Here.

How much is a car and a driver?

The car is going to be $19.95 a day plus

mileage. And the driver is you.

Me?

go hey

go a go a go hey Her

fell's on the wrong side of the road.

Oh yes, America.

You idiot.

Heat. Heat.

Hey, Chuck. Any sign of Seagerson yet?

Not a trace. Our boys found his car.

Stuck in a ravine since last night.

They're towing it in.

I bet they messed up any footprints.

Weren't no footprints anybody can make

head or tails of, except maybe Sherlock

Holmes.

Heat.

Heat.

I've died, gone to heaven.

It's not British.

Pray I can work this contraption.

Watson and company.

Yes, I'll accept the call.

Holmes, where the hell are you?

Try me.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

That's not heaven. That's Lake Havasu.

Homes,

I never get your limits. Watson,

come on. We have to get Singers.

Yes. I fear it's too late.

Singer was living in a trailer the past

3 years. New social security, new

driver's license, everything. That's why

we haven't been able to trace him till

you told us he was using the name Bars.

Well, then perhaps Mr. Ross is also

using a new name. Pride. There it is.

There it is.

Well,

looks like somebody beat us here.

Classic American understatement.

What's that? Bit of ash.

I found Singer's address book. Ross's

phone number and address. Yes,

they're not easy.

Your dinner's in the oven, so just

Holmes,

are you all right?

Something I'm failing to see.

Just can't put my hand on it.

My deductive power seem to have been

frozen along with me.

Is there anything I can do?

No, no.

You go out and enjoy yourself. I'm quite

glad you reconsidered my suggestion

about young Toby.

What suggestion?

Marrying him.

I'm not marrying him. I am having dinner

with him. We are friends. I have no

romantic interest in Toby whatsoever.

The lady does protest too much, me

thinks.

I suppose Shakespeare was one of your

old buddies, too.

Where did you get this thing?

Oh, that.

Um, why do you uh hate it?

Well, it's a little weird. I just

wouldn't think anybody as normal as you

would buy a thing like that.

You're right. I didn't buy it.

Glad to hear it.

I painted it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

You know, um, I'm really not as normal

as you think I am. Uh, I can be pretty

eccentric if you give me a chance.

Why do you say that?

Well, I know you. You're the kind of

woman who likes eccentric men with

character.

Toby, I think you're a character. You

don't have to prove it to me.

Thank you.

Dig in. It's a family recipe.

Oh, I forgot.

What? Mood music.

You like the sound? I built the whole

system myself. I put in the baffles. I I

even moved that wall back to make it

sound exactly right.

That's it.

I'll explain later.

Homes.

Homes.

Look, it used to help you think.

You've brought it.

Bad. Of course,

we must hurry.

If the other man of the other couple is

a lousy lover, you have no choice

because

Mr.

Your life is in danger. Let us in.

Get out of here.

You are really Charles Ross, the last of

the four.

Morston, Shalto, and Singer have all

been killed. Now, let us in if you want

us to find the assassin before the

assassin finds you.

Singer's dead.

Yes, I'm afraid so.

How did you find me? Singer was using

the alias Basad. You were lifelong

friends who turned to thievery. It

became obvious that you would be calling

yourself Cly. Cly and Barcad

and Cly,

the two thieves and conspirators from

Dickens Tale of Two Cities.

I didn't think anybody remembered a

tailor two cities anymore. I read the

first edition.

Well, it's true.

Lie sent a Stark offet singer and me

$50,000 to get rid of all the evidence

against him.

The counterfeit money.

Yeah.

And then the skyjacking came along. So

instead of returning the counterfeit

money to Stark, you gave $800,000 of it

to the hijacker small.

How did you know that?

It's what I do.

What did you do with the real $800,000?

We buried it here and agreed to meet

when the statute of limitations ran out

next week. That's right. Tuesday,

midnight.

I hit something.

That's it. There's $800,000 in this box.

I most sincerely doubt it.

Watson, would you kindly do the honors?

The pieces are fitting together.

Mr. Ross should be safe in this

establishment till we've apprehended the

killer.

I got it.

Small killed Morstan, Singer, and Schol.

Got one of them to tell him where the

money was before he died. Went there and

dug it up.

My dear, if that was so, the ground

would have been newly turned, but it was

not. That site was last dug up perhaps 5

years ago.

Okay. He did it 5 years ago.

Watson, he was in prison until last

month.

Oh, yeah.

Only when all the facts fit a theory of

the case, my dear, have you the

solution?

Well, I can't figure out everything, but

it's obvious Small did it.

Too obvious.

Stop the car.

Watson, you are standing in the presence

of the greatest fool on earth. I should

be kicked all the way from here to

Chering Cross. Nothing that has happened

here has been a coincidence. The

murderer has been behind each and every

event.

Holmes, you're taking him much too

personally.

Murder is very personal, especially when

I have been the murderer's accomplice,

leading him to each of his victims. What

are you talking about?

Watergate.

Ah, you brought it.

The case hinges on a woman, Watson.

Women are never entirely to be trusted.

Thanks a lot.

Present company always accepted. Of

course.

What are you getting at, Holmes?

Small must have had an accomplice.

Someone who could keep him informed of

our progress each step of the way. Now,

in whom did we confide?

If you are suggesting Ms. Houston was

his accomplice, you can pack up your

violin and your pipe and get the hell

out of my life.

Watson, please calm down. I am not

accusing Miss Houston.

Violet Moran.

Mr. Sigerson. Miss Watson,

may we come in?

Of course.

Holmes, what are you doing? I'm

arresting you as a conco three murders.

Watson, call the FBI while I keep an eye

on our suspect. But

But I didn't kill any. I couldn't kill

anyone.

Small couldn't have done it without your

help.

What else are we to believe?

I I thought you liked me.

I do, but I can't let that stand in the

way of justice.

Toby and his men will be right over.

Don't move, Watson. Watch out.

Well, we finally meet. Mr. Small.

Oh, no. This isn't Mr. Small.

Well, who is it then? Father.

I won't let them arrest you for my

crimes. Violet,

you're coming with me.

But, but I don't understand.

Your father double crossed Mr. small and

his partners in crime. He went back and

dug up the stolen money years ago.

You've been living on the proceeds for

the past 5 years. He pretended the money

was from his patent.

So he killed Small and switched

identities.

That's correct, my dear. And recently,

Mr. Small began hounding me for the

money. He knew the statute of

limitations was almost up and he wanted

half.

I made it look like he killed me. And

you wrote the note signed small and

pretended to leave it at the wrong

address so that we would lead you to the

other three men you needed to kill

before the statute of limitations ran

out and they realized you'd taken all

the money.

It had to be you.

Who better than the inventor of an

electronic chip to plant eavesdropping

devices?

And you smoked a pipe. There were pipe

marks in the soles of your shoes. It was

your habit to knock the cold ashes out

of the pipe in that way. I found some of

those ashes at Singer's trailer. They

had identical properties to your brand

of tobacco.

You know it all.

By you won't live long enough to tell

anyone.

Are you going to commit four murders?

Five? Six? Are you going to kill your

daughter as well?

Reinforce it.

Good job, Holmes.

Blanks. You put blanks in your gun. How

could you pull a trick so old?

Old.

Is it old?

Mhm.

My father.

I don't believe it.

I'm sorry for what we put you through.

We didn't really suspect you.

A little play acting was the only way to

lure the killer out and obtain his

confession.

Okay, kid.

When did you realize it was Morse Stan

and not small?

I suspected it when I found that the

body had been both shot and set a flame.

Obviously, the latter was to obscure its

identity.

Add to that the fact that the statute of

limitations was about to run out, that

Small was in prison when the money was

dug up, and that since then Morston had

been living as though on a king's

ransom, and it was elementary, my dear

Jane,

you know, you're even better than my

great-grandfather said you were.

You're not, as bias here might say, half

bad yourself.

Say, uh, I make a pretty mean fetuccini.

Oh, Toby, I'm sorry about the other

night. My mind was just so absorbed at

the case.

No problem. Really? Really?

Yeah.

Tell you what,

why don't I make dinner for the two of

you?

Oh, capital. Capital.

No, I wouldn't want to put you through

any trouble.

Well, it's not any trouble. I just take

something out of the freezer and defrost

it.

She's very good at that.