All language subtitles for Kill.Bill.The.Whole.Bloody.Affair.2006.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]-eng

Do you find me sadistic?

You know...

...I'll bet I could fry an egg
on your head right now...

...if I wanted to.

You know, kiddo...

...I'd like to believe...

...you're aware enough, even now...

...to know that there is nothing
sadistic in my actions.

Maybe towards those other jokers...

...but not you.

No, kiddo, at this moment...

...this is me...

...at my most masochistic.

Bill...

it's your baby...

Coming!

Sarah, I cannot believe you are early.

What you going to do now, huh?!
What you got?!

I got your ass.
Wrap it up! Come on!

Okay. Come on, bitch.

Come on.

Bring it on.

- Mommy, I'm home.
- Hey, baby.

How was school?

Mommy, what happened to you
and the TV room?

Your good-for-nothing dog got into
the living room and acted a damn fool.

That's what happened, baby.

Barney did this?

Baby. Now, you can't come in here.

There's broken glass everywhere and
you could cut yourself.

This is an old friend of Mommy's
I ain't seen in a long time.

Hi, honey.

I'm (BLEEP). What's your name?

Her name is Nikki.

Nikki.

Such a pretty name
for such a pretty girl.

How old are you, Nikki?

Nikki.
(BLEEP) asked you a question.

I'm 4.

4 years old, eh?

You know, I had a little girl once.

She'd be about 4 now.

Now, baby, me and Mommy's friend
got some grown-up talk to talk about.

So go in your room now and leave us
alone till I tell you to come out.

Okay?

Nikkia!

In your room. Now.

You want some coffee?

Yeah. Sure.

This Pasadena homemaker's name
is Jeanne Bell.

Her husband is
Dr. Lawrence Bell.

But back when we were acquainted four
years ago, her name was Vernita Green.

Her code name was Copperhead.
Mine, Black Mamba.

Do you have a towel?

Yeah.

Thanks.

- You still take cream and sugar, right?
- Yeah.

So I suppose it's a little late
for an apology, huh?

You suppose correctly.

Look, bitch...

I need to know if you're going to
start any more shit around my baby girl.

You can relax for now.

I'm not going to murder you
in front of your child, okay?

That's being more rational than Bill
led me to believe you were capable of.

It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness
I lack...

...not rationality.

Look...

...I know I fucked you over.

I fucked you over bad.
I wish to God I hadn't, but I did.

You have every right
to want to get even.

No, no, no, no, no.

No. To get even, even-steven...

I would have to kill you...

...go up to Nikki's room, kill her...

...then wait for your husband, the good
Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him.

That would be even, Vernita.
That'd be about square.

Look, if I could go back in a machine,
I would. But I can't.

All I can tell you is
that I'm a different person now.

Oh, great. I don't care.

Be that as it may, I know I don't
deserve your mercy or your forgiveness.

However, I beseech you for both
on behalf of my daughter.

Bitch, you can stop right there.

Just because I have no wish to murder
you in front of your daughter...

...doesn't mean that parading her around
in front of me will inspire sympathy.

You and I have unfinished business.

And not a goddamned thing you've done
in the subsequent four years...

...including getting knocked up
is going to change that.

So when do we do this?

It all depends.
When do you want to die?

Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?

- How about tonight, bitch?
- Splendid. Where?

There's a baseball diamond where I coach
Little League about a mile from here.

We meet there around 2:30
in the morning dressed all in black.

Your hair in a black stocking.

And we have us a knife fight.
We won't be bothered.

Now...

...I have to fix Nikki's cereal.

Bill always said you were one of
the best ladies with an edged weapon.

Fuck you, bitch.
I know he didn't qualify that shit.

So you can just kiss
my motherfucking ass, Black Mamba.

Black Mamba.

I should have been motherfucking
Black Mamba.

Weapon of choice? If you want to stick
with your butcher knife, that's fine.

Very funny, bitch.

Very funny!

It was not my intention to do this
in front of you.

For that, I'm sorry.

But you can take my word for it:

Your mother had it coming.

When you grow up...

...if you still feel raw about it...

...I'll be waiting.

For those regarded as warriors....

...when engaged in combat...

...the vanquishing of thine enemy can be
the warrior's only concern.

Suppress all human emotions
and compassion...

...kill whoever stands in thy way,
even if that be Lord God,

or Buddha himself.

This truth lies at the heart of
the art of combat.

...and next, we got some record.

Very own wildman, Charlie Feathers.

Well, give me the gory details,
Son Number One.

It's a goddamn massacre, Pop.

They wiped out the whole wedding party,
execution-style.

Give me a figure.

Nine dead bodies.

And we're talking the whole shebang:

Bride, groom...

...reverend, reverend's wife.

Hell, they even shot that old colored
fella that plays the organ.

Seems like someone objected to the union
and wasn't able to hold their peace.

Good gravy, Marie.

What'd I tell you, Pop?

Looks like a goddamn Nicaraguan
death squad.

You better shit-can that blasphemy, boy.
You in a house of worship.

Sorry, Pop.

This is the work of professionals.

I'd guesstimate Mexican mafia hit squad.

Four, maybe five strong.

How can you tell?

Well, a sure and steady hand did this.

This ain't no squirrelly amateur.

This is the work of a salty dog.

You can tell by the cleanness
of the carnage.

Now a kill-crazy rampage
though it may be...

...all the colors are kept
inside the line.

If you was a moron,
you could almost admire it.

Who's the bride?

Don't know.

The name on the marriage certificate
is Arlene Machiavelli.

That's a fake.

We've all just been calling her
"The Bride" on account of the dress.

You can tell she was pregnant.

He must be a mad dog to shoot a goddamn
good-Iooking gal like that in the head.

Look at her.

Hay-colored hair,
big eyes.

She's a little blood-splattered angel.

- Son Number One?
- Yeah?

This tall drink of cocksucker
ain't dead.

I might never have liked you.

Point in fact, I despise you.

But that shouldn't suggest
that I don't respect you.

Dying in our sleep...

...is a luxury that our kind is rarely
afforded.

My gift to you.

For fuck's sake.

Hello, Bill.

What's her condition?

Comatose.

Where is she?

I'm standing over her right now.

That's my girl.

Elle, you will abort the mission.

What?!

We owe her better than that.

Oh, you don't owe her shit!

Will you keep your voice down?

You don't owe her shit!

May I say one thing?

Speak.

Y'all beat the hell out of that woman,
but you didn't kill her.

And I put a bullet in her head,
but her heart just kept on beating.

Now, you saw that yourself with your
own beautiful blue eye.

Did you not?

We've done a lot of things
to this lady.

And if she ever wakes up, we'll
do a whole lot more.

But one thing we won't do...

...is sneak into her room in the night
like a filthy rat...

...and kill her in her sleep.

And the reason we won't do that
thing...

...is because that thing
would lower us.

Don't you agree, Miss Driver?

I guess.

Do you really have to guess?

No. I don't really have to guess.

I know.

Come on home, honey.

Affirmative.

I love you very much.

I love you too.

Bye-bye.

Thought that was pretty fucking funny,
didn't you?

Word of advice, shithead:

Don't you ever wake up.

This moment, this is me...

...at my most masochistic.

Bill, it's your baby...

My baby.

Four years. Four years.

Price is $75 a fuck, my friend.

- You getting your freak on, or what?
- Oh, yeah, boy.

20, 40, 60, 75. Yeah.

Now here's the rule.
Rule number one: no punching her.

Nurse comes in tomorrow and she got
a shiner or less teeth, jig's up.

So no knuckle sandwiches
under no circumstances.

And by the way, this cunt's a spitter.
It's a motor reflex thing.

But spit or no, no punching.

We absolutely clear on
rule number one?

- Yeah.
- Good.

Now, rule number two: no monkey
bites, no hickeys. In fact,

no leaving no marks of no kind.
After that, it's all good, buddy.

Her plumbing don't work no more so
come in her all you want.

Keep the noise down. Try not to make
a mess. I'll be back in 20.

Yeah.

Oh! Shit. By the way,

sometimes this chick's cooch can get
drier than a bucket of sand.

If she dry, just lube up with this
and you'll be good to go.

Bon appètit, good buddy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, goddamn, you are the best-looking
girl I've had today.

Yo, stud! Time's up, buddy.

I'm coming in, ready or not.

Good buddy, did you have yourself
a good time, man?

Whoa.

Where's Bill?

Where's Bill?!

- Please stop hitting me.
- Where's Bill?!

- I don't know who Bill is!
- Bullshit!

Well, ain't you the slice of cutie
pie they said you was?

Jane Doe. We don't know shit
about you.

Well, I'm from Huntsville, Texas.
My name is Buck and I'm here to fuck.

Your name is Buck. Right?

And you came here to fuck. Right?

"Pussy Wagon."

You fucker.

Texas. Okay.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

Wiggle your big toe.

As I lay in Buck's truck trying
to will my limbs out of entropy...

Wiggle your big toe.

I saw the faces of the cunts who
did this to me and the dick responsible.

Members all of Bill's brainchild:
The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.

When fortune smiles on something
as violent and ugly as revenge....

...It seems proof like no other
that not only does God exist....

...you're doing his will.

At a time when I knew the least about
my enemies...

...the first name on my death
list, O-Ren Ishii....

...was the easiest to find.

But when one manages the hard task
of becoming queen of Tokyo's underworld...

...one doesn't keep it a secret,
does one?

O- Ren Ishii was born on an American
military base in Tokyo, Japan.

The half-Japanese, half
Chinese-American army brat....

...made her first acquaintance with
death at the age of 9.

It was at that age she witnessed
the death of her parents....

...at the hands of Japan's most
ruthless yakuza boss:

Boss Matsumoto.

Mommy.

She swore revenge.

Luckily for her, Boss Matsumoto
was a pedophile.

At 11, she got her revenge.

Look at me Matsumoto...

...take a good look at my face.

Look at my eyes.

Look at my nose.

Look at my chin.

Look at my mouth.

Do I look familiar?

Do I look like somebody you murdered?!

By 20, she was one of the top female
assassins In the world.

At 25, she did her part in the killing
of nine innocent people....

...including my unborn daughter....

...in a small wedding chapel
in El Paso, Texas.

But on that day four years ago....

...she made one big mistake:

She should have killed ten.

However, before satisfaction
would be mine...

...first things first.

Wiggle your big toe.

Hard part's over.

Now, let's get these other piggies
wiggling.

Welcome to Air O. May I help you?

Okinawa. One-way.

Hi.

Welcome....

Welcome.

You English?

Almost. American.

American. Welcome, welcome.

My English very good.

You said domo.

Can you speak Japanese?

No, no. Just a few words I learned
since yesterday.

- May I sit at the bar?
- Oh, sure! Sure, sure. Please, sit.

What other words did you learn?

Just a minute.

We have a customer.
Bring out some tea, quickly.

I'm watching my soap operas.

Oh, shit.

Lazy bastard...

Screw your soap opera....
hurry up!

The tea's hot. Why don't you
serve it yourself for once?

Shut up! Get your ass out here!

Excuse me.

What other Japanese do you know?

Oh, let's see.

Good.

I already said domo, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Please repeat.

Perfect. Good, good, good.

You say Japanese word
like you're Japanese.

- Now you're making fun of me.
- No. Serious business.

Pronunciation very good.

You say arigato
like we say arigato.

Well, thank you. I mean, arigato.

You should learn Japanese.
Very easy.

- No kidding? I heard it was kind of hard.
- Most difficult.

But, you have Japanese tongue.

Oh, my God.

Hey, what the hell happened to the tea.
Hurry up....goddammit!

Lazy oaf....

What'd ya want?

I beg your pardon?

Drink.

Oh, yes, a bottle of warm sake, please.

Warm sake? Very good.

One warm sake!

Sake? In the middle of the day?

- Day, night, afternoon -
Who gives a damn. Get the sake!

How come I always have to
get the sake?

You listen well...

For thirty years you make the fish.
I get the sake.

If this were the military,
I'd be General by now!

Oh, so you'd be General, huh?

If you were General, I'd be Emperor,

and you'd still get the sake.
So shut up and get the sake!

Do you understand?

I'm not bald, okay? I shaved my head.
Do you understand?

Sorry.

First time in Japan?

What brings you to Okinawa?

I came to see a man.

Oh, yeah?

You have a friend live in Okinawa?

Not quite.

Not friend?

- I never met him.
- Never?

Who is he, may I ask?

Hattori Hanzo.

What do you want with
Hattori Hanzo?

I need Japanese steel.

Why do you need Japanese steel?

I have vermin to kill.

You must have big rats
you need Hattori Hanzo's steel.

Huge.

May I?

You may.

Wait.

Try the second one down.

Funny...

...you like samurai swords.

I like baseball.

I wanted to show you these.

However, someone as you, who knows
so much, must surely know...

...I no longer make instruments
of death.

What I have here I keep for
their aesthetic and sentimental value.

Yet proud as I am
of my life's work....

...I have retired.

Then give me one of these.

These are not for sale.

I didn't say "sell me."
I said "give me."

Why should I help you?

Because my vermin
is a former student of yours.

And considering the student...

...I'd say you have a rather large
obligation.

You can sleep here.

It will take me a month
to make the sword.

I suggest you spend it practicing.

I've completed doing...

what I swore an oath to God,
28 years ago,

...to never do again.

I have created,
"something that kills people."

And in that purpose, I was a success.

I've done this because philosophically,
I am sympathetic to your aim.

I can tell you with no ego,
this is my finest sword.

If on your journey,
you should encounter God....

...God will be cut.

Yellow-haired warrior. Go.

It was one year after the massacre
in El Paso, Texas...

...that Bill backed his Nippon progeny
financially and philosophically....

..in her Shakespearean-like power
struggle with the other yakuza clans...

...over who would rule vice in
the city of Tokyo.

When the final sword was sheathed....

...It was O-Ren Ishii
and her powerful posse....

The Crazy 88 that proved the victor.

The pretty lady to O-Ren's right, who's
dressed like a villain on Star Trek....

...is O-Ren's lawyer, best friend
and second lieutenant....

...the half-French, half-Japanese
Sofie Fatale.

Another former protégée of Bill's.

The young girl In the schoolgirl
uniform is O-Ren's personal bodyguard....

...17-year-old Gogo Yubari.

Gogo may be young but what she lacks
in age, she makes up for in madness.

Do you like Ferraris?

Ferrari....Italian trash.

Do you want to screw me?

Don't laugh.
Do you want to screw me, yes or no?

Yes.

How 'bout now, big boy?

Do you still wish to penetrate me....

...or is it I...
who has penetrated you?

See what I mean?

The bald guy in the black suit
and the Kato mask is Johnny Mo...

...the head general of O-Ren's
personal army, The Crazy 88.

And just In case you were wondering...

...how could a half-breed
Japanese-Chinese American....

...become the boss of all bosses in
Tokyo, Japan?

I'll tell you.

The subject of O-Ren's blood and
nationality....

...came up before the council
only once:

The night O-Ren assumed power
over the crime council.

The man who seems bound and determined
to break the mood is Boss Tanaka.

And what Boss Tanaka thinks is:

Boss Tanaka!
What's the meaning of this outburst?

This is a time for celebration!

And what exactly are we celebrating?

The perversion of
our illustrious council?

Tanaka, have you gone mad?
I will not tolerate this!

You're disrespecting our sister!
Apologize!

Tanaka-San,
of what perversion do you speak?

My father along with yours, and
along with yours, started this council.

And while...

... you laugh like stupid donkeys
they weep in the afterlife...

Shut up!

...over the perversion
committed today!

Outrageous! Tanaka, it is you
who insults this council!

Bastard!

Fuck face!

Gentlemen.

Tanaka obviously has something
on his mind.

By all means, allow him to express it.

I speak, of the perversion done
to this council,

...which I love....

...more than my own children,

...by making a Chinese Jap-American
half breed bitch its leader!

So that you understand
how serious I am...

...I'm going to say this in English.

As your leader...

...I encourage you, from time to time,
and always in a respectful manner...

...to question my logic.

If you're unconvinced a particular plan
I've decided is the wisest, tell me so.

But allow me to convince you...

...and I promise you right here and
now no subject will ever be taboo.

Except of course the subject that was
just under discussion.

The price you pay...

...for bringing up either my Chinese
or American heritage as a negative is:

I collect your fucking head.

Just like this fucker here.

Now if any of you sons of bitches got
anything else to say...

...now's the fucking time!

I didn't think so.

Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned.

One ticket to Tokyo, please.

Gogo.

You have to say "Yes, yes, yes" to
any selfish demands they make.

They demand ridiculous things.

Shut up... Do you know what would
happen if they heard you?

- What's gonna happen?
- Did you hear about the Tanaka clan?

You're gonna get your head
chopped off.

No, I don't want that.

Yes, it's me.

And if you give us a contact number,
we will get back to you.

Hey. You!

Who do you remind me of?

Charlie Brown!

You're right, he does look like
Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown,
Four pepperoni pizzas.

- That's not on our menu....
- I don't care, bring them, goddammit!

Hey....hey....
Charlie, give me a kiss.

O- Ren Ishii!

You and I have unfinished business!

Charlie Brown, beat it.

Miki.

TEAR THE BITCH APART!

So, O-Ren...

...any more subordinates
for me to kill?

Hi.

Gogo, right?

Bingo.
And you're Black Mamba.

Our reputations precede us.

Don't they?

Gogo...

...I know you feel you must protect
your mistress...

...but I beg you...

...walk away.

You call that begging?

You can beg better than that.

Is that what I think it is?

You didn't think it would be that easy,
did you?

You know,
for a second there...

...yeah, I kind of did.

"Silly rabbit."

"Trix are for kids."

This is what you get for fucking
around with the yakuzas.

Go home to your mother!

Those of you lucky enough to still
have your lives take them with you!

However....

...leave the limbs you've lost.

They belong to me now.

Except you, Sofie!

You stay right where you are.

Your instrument is quite impressive.

Where was it made?

Okinawa.

Whom in Okinawa made you this steel?

This is Hattori Hanzo steel.

YOU LIE!

Swords however, never get tired.

I hope you've saved your energy.

If you haven't....

...you might not last five minutes.

But as last looks go,

you could do worse.

Silly Caucasian girl likes to play
with samurai swords.

You may not be able to fight
like a samurai...

...but you can at least die
like a samurai.

Attack me...

...with everything you have.

For ridiculing you earlier....

...I apologize.

Accepted.

Ready?

Come on.

That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword.

Sofie.

Sofie.

My Sofie. I'm so sorry.

Please. Please forgive my betrayal.

No more of that.

But still...

But still nothing...

...except my aching heart...

...over what she's done to my
beautiful and brilliant Sofie.

I've kept you alive for two reasons.

First reason is information.

Burn in Hell you stupid, stupid blonde!
I'll tell you nothing.

But I am going to ask you questions.

And every time you don't give me
answers...

...I'm going to cut something off.

And I promise you...

...they will be things you will miss.

Give me your other arm!

I want all the information on
the Deadly Vipers.

- If you had to guess...
- What they've been doing....

...why she left you alive...
- ...and where I can find them.

...what would be your guess?

Guessing won't be necessary.

She informed me.

She said I could keep my wicked life
for two reasons.

As I said before....

...I've allowed you to keep your
wicked life for two reasons.

And the second reason is...

...so you can tell him, in person
everything that happened here tonight.

I want him to witness the extent of
my mercy...

...by witnessing your deformed body.

I want you to tell him all
the information you just told me.

I want him to know what I know.

I want him to know I want him to know.

And I want them all to know...

...they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.

Now, the incident that happened
at the Two Pines Wedding Chapel,

that put this whole
gory story into motion,

has since become legend.

"Massacre at Two Pines."

That's what the
newspapers called it.

The local TV news called it:

"The El Paso,
Texas Wedding Chapel Massacre."

How it happened, who was there,

how many got killed
and who killed them...

changes depending on
who's telling the story.

In actual fact,

the massacre didn't happen
during a wedding at all.

It was a wedding rehearsal.

Now, when we come to the part
where I say...

"You may kiss the bride,"

you may kiss the bride.

But don't stick
your tongue in her mouth.

This might be funny to your friends,

but it would be
embarrassing to your parents.

We'll try to restrain
ourselves, Reverend.

Y'all got a song?

How about "Love Me Tender"?
I can play that.

Sure.

"Love Me Tender" would be great.

Rufus, he's the man.

Rufus, who was that
you used to play for?

Rufus Thomas.

Rufus Thomas.

Rufus Thomas.

I was a Drell. I was a Drifter.
I was a Coaster.

I was part of the Gang.
I was a Bar-Kay.

If they come through Texas,
I played with them.

Rufus, he's the man.

Have I forgotten anything?

Um, oh yes, you forgot
the seating arrangements.

Thank you, Mother.

Now, the way we normally do this,

we have the bride's side,

and then we have the
groom's side.

But since the bride
ain't got nobody coming,

and the groom's got
far too many people coming...

Oh yeah, they're coming
all the way from Oklahoma.

Right.

Well, I don't see
no problem with...

the groom's side
sharing the bride's side.

- Do you, Mother?
-No, I don't have a problem with that.

But, honey, you know,

it would be good
if you had somebody come.

You know, as a sign of good faith.

Well, I don't have anybody...

except for Tommy and...

my friends.

You have no family?

Well, I'm working on changing that.

Mrs. Harmony,

we're all the family this
little angel's ever going to need.

I'm not feeling very well,

and this bitch
is starting to piss me off.

So while you all blather on,

I'm going to go outside
and get some air.

Okay.

Reverend, sorry, ah...

She's going to go out
and get some air.

Yeah, given her
delicate condition...

She just needs a few minutes
to get it together, she'll be okay.

all right.

Hello, Kiddo.

How did you find me?

I'm the man.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing?

Well,

a moment ago
I was playing my flute.

At this moment,

I'm looking at
the most beautiful bride...

these old eyes have ever seen.

Why are you here?

Last look.

Are you going to be nice?

I've never been nice
my whole life.

But I'll do my best to be sweet.

I always told you,

your sweet side is your best side.

I guess that's why...

you're the only one
who's ever seen it.

See you got a bun in the oven.

I'm knocked-up.

Jeez, Louise.

That young man of yours...

sure doesn't believe in
wasting time, does he?

Have you seen Tommy?

Big guy in the tux?

Yes.

Then I saw him.

I like his hair.

You promised you'd be nice.

No, I said I'd do my best,
that's hardly a promise.

But you're right.

What does your young man
do for a living?

He owns a used record store
here in El Paso.

Ah, music lover, eh?

He's fond of music.

Aren't we all.

And what are you doing
for a J-O-B these days?

I work in the record store.

Ahh so.

It all suddenly seems so clear.

Do you like it?

Yeah, I like it a lot, smart-ass.

I get to listen to music all day,

talk about music all day.
It's really cool.

It's going to be a great environment
for my little girl to grow up in.

As opposed to
jetting around the world,

killing human beings,

and being paid vast sums of money?

Precisely.

Well, my old friend, to each his own.

However,

all cockblockery aside,

I am looking forward to
meeting your young man.

I happen to be
more or less particular...

whom my gal marries.

You want to come to the wedding?

Only if I can sit on the bride's side.

You'll find it a bit lonely on my side.

Your side always was a bit lonely,

but I wouldn't sit anywhere else.

You know,

I had the loveliest dream about you.

Oh, here's Tommy. Call me Arlene.

You must be Tommy.

Arlene's told me so much about you.

- Honey, you okay?
- Oh, I'm fine.

Tommy, I'd like you to
meet my father.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, this is great.

I'm so glad to meet you, sir.
Oh, Dad.

The name's Bill.

Well, it's great to
meet you, Bill.

Arlene told me you
couldn't make it.

Surprise.

That's my Pop for you.
Always full of surprises.

Well, in the surprise department,

the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.

- When did you get in?
- Just now.

Did you come
straight from Australia?

Of course.

Daddy, I told Tommy that you were
in Perth mining for silver and...

no one could reach you.

Lucky for us all,
that's not the case.

So...

what's this all about?

I've heard of wedding rehearsals,

but I don't believe
I've ever heard of...

a wedding dress rehearsal before.

We thought:

"Why pay so much money for a dress
you're only going to wear once?"

Especially when Arlene looks so
goddamn beautiful in it.

So, I think we're going to try to
get all the mileage we can out of it.

Isn't it supposed to be bad luck...

for the groom to see the bride
in her wedding dress...

before the ceremony?

Well, I guess I just
believe in living dangerously.

I know just what you mean.

Son.

- Some of us have places to be.
- Sure do.

Look, we got to go through this
one more time.

So, why don't you have a se...

Oh, my God. What am I thinking?
You should give her away.

Tommy, that's not exactly
Daddy's cup of tea.

I think Father would be
much more comfortable...

sitting with the rest of the guests.

Oh, really?

That's asking a lot.

Well, okay, we'll forget it.

But how about we go out to dinner
tonight and celebrate.

Only on the condition that
I pay for everything.

Deal. We got to do this now.

Can I watch?

Absolutely. Have a seat.

Which is the bride's side?

Right over here.

Mother, here we go.

Now, son, about them vows...

Bill,

I just wanted...

You don't owe me a damn thing.

If he's the man you want,

then go stand by him.

Do I look pretty?

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Oh, good.

It's all much more simp...

What the hell?!

No! Bill!

You're telling me...

she cut her way through
88 bodyguards...

before she got to O-Ren?

No, there wasn't really 88 of them.

They just call themselves
"The Crazy 88."

How come?

I don't know. I guess
they thought it sounded cool.

Anyhow,

they all fell under her Hanzo sword.

She's got a Hanzo sword?

He made one for her.

Didn't he swear a blood oath
to never make another sword?

It would appear he has broken it.

Them Japs sure know how to
hold a grudge, don't they?

Or maybe...

you just tend to
bring that out in people.

I know this is a ridiculous
question before I ask it,

but you haven't, by any chance,

kept up with your swordplay?

I...

I pawned that years ago.

You hocked a Hattori Hanzo sword?

Yep.

It was priceless.

Well, not in El Paso, it ain't.

In El Paso I got me $250 for it.

I'm a bouncer in a titty bar, Bill.

If she wants to fight with me,

all she's got to do is
come down to the club,

and start some shit,
and we'll be in a fight.

I know we haven't spoken
in some time.

And the last time we spoke
wasn't the most pleasant,

but you've got to get over
being mad at me...

and start becoming
afraid of (BLEEP)...

because she is coming,

and she is coming to kill you.

And unless you accept my assistance,

I have no doubt she will succeed.

I don't dodge guilt,

and I don't Jew out of
paying my comeuppance.

Can't we just forget the past?

That woman...

deserves her revenge,

and we deserve to die.

But then again,

so does she.

So I guess...

we'll just see,

won't we?

Late again.

Budd, can't you tell time?

There ain't nobody in here, man.

- Is that Budd?!
- Yeah!

Tell him to get his
fucking ass back here!

Okay.

Budd, Larry would like
a word with you.

Take a hit. Be somebody, baby.

You looking for me?

I don't know what car wash
you worked before you came here,

that let you stroll in 20 minutes late,

but it wasn't owned by me,
and I own a fucking car wash.

Do you want me to leave?

No, I don't want you to leave,
I want you to sit and wait.

Larry,

there ain't nobody out there, so...

"There's nobody out there, Larry."

What's your point?

That you're not needed here?

My point is...

I'm the bouncer,

and there ain't nobody
out there to bounce.

You're saying that the reason...

that you're not doing the job
that I'm paying you to do...

is that you don't have a job to do?

- No...
- Is that what you're saying?

What are you trying to
convince me of exactly,

that you're as useless as
an asshole right here?

Well, guess what, Buddy,

I think you just
fucking convinced me.

Let's go to the calendar.
It's calendar time.

Calendar time for Buddy.

Okay, you working tomorrow?

Yeah.

No, you're not.

You don't even know
what fucking day you work.

Here. You're not working tomorrow,

you're working Wednesday.
Here you are. There you go.

- You working Thursday?
- Yeah.

I don't think so.

Friday?

I don't... there's your name.

- If you say so.
- There used to be your name, okay?

Saturday, there used to be your name.

So Monday you're going to...

Here, how about...
how about that?

Fucking with your cash
is the only thing...

you kids seem to understand. Okay?

Now, I want you to go home
till I call you.

Till I call you.

Before you leave, talk to Rocket.
She's got a job for you to do.

And...

the hat.

That fucking hat.

That fucking hat.

How many times have I told you,

don't wear that fucking hat here?

How many?

Well, customers wear hats.

Well, I'm not the boss
of the customers.

I'm the boss of you.

And I'm telling you...

that I want you to keep that
shit-kicker hat at home.

Yeah, Budd, honey,
the toilet is at it again.

There's shitty water
all over the floor.

Okay...

Rocket.

I'll clean it up.

Well, that gentled you down some,
didn't it?

Yep.

Ain't nobody a badass with a
double dose of rock salt...

dug deep in their tits.

Not having...

tits...

as fine...

or as big as yours,

I can't even imagine how bad
that shit must sting.

Yet,

I don't want to neither.

I win.

Bill?

Wrong brother, you hateful bitch.

- Budd.
-Bingo.

And to what do I owe
this dubious pleasure?

I just caught me the cowgirl
ain't never been caught.

Did you kill her?

Well, not yet I ain't.

I shot her full of rock salt.

She's so gentle right now,

I could perform her
coup de grace with a rock.

Anywho,

guess what I'm holding
in my hand right now.

What?

A brand spanking new
Hattori Hanzo sword.

And I'm here to tell you, Elle,

that's what I call sharp.

How much?

Oh, that's hard to say,
being that it's...

priceless and all.

What's the terms?

You get your bony ass down here
first thing in the morning...

with a million dollars
in folding cash,

and I'll give you...

the greatest sword
ever made by a man.

Now, how do you like
the sound of that?

Sounds like we got a deal.
One condition.

What?

She must suffer to her last breath.

Well...

that, Elle, darling...

I can pretty much
damn well guarantee.

Then I'll see you
in the morning...

millionaire.

all right.

Wakey, wakey.

Eggs and bakey.

I'm done!

Get me out of this hole!

Good.

Whoa, look at those eyes.

This bitch is furious.

What did I tell you?

Is she the cutest little
blond pussy you ever saw?

Or,

is she the cutest little
blond pussy you ever saw?

I seen better.

You got anything to say?

White women call this
"the silent treatment,"

and we let them think
we don't like it.

You grab the feet,
I'll get the head.

Hey, hey. Hey!

Wiggle worm.

You see this?

You see it, don't you?

That's a can of Mace.

No.

You're going underneath
the ground tonight.

And that's all there is to it.

I want to bury you.

I was going to bury you...

with this.

But if you're going to
act like a horse's ass...

I'm going to spray
this whole goddamn can...

right in your eyeballs!

I'll burn them right out of
your fucking head.

Then you're going to be blind,

and burning,

and buried alive.

Now, what's it going to be, sister?

That's a wise decision.

This is for breaking
my brother's heart.

Once upon a time, in China,

some believe...

around the year
one double aught-three,

head priest of the
White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei was...

walking down a road...

contemplating
whatever it is that...

a man of Pai Mei's infinite
powers would contemplate,

which is another way of saying
"Who knows?",

when a Shaolin monk
appeared on the road,

traveling in
the opposite direction.

As the monk
and the priest crossed paths,

Pai Mei,

in a practically unfathomable
display of generosity,

gave the monk
the slightest of nods.

The nod was not returned.

Now, was it the intention...

of the Shaolin monk
to insult Pai Mei,

or did he just fail to see
the generous social gesture?

The motives of the monk
remain unknown.

What is known...

were the consequences.

The next morning,

Pai Mei appeared at
the Shaolin temple...

and demanded of
the temple's head abbot...

that he offer Pai Mei his neck...

to repay the insult.

The abbot, at first,
tried to console Pai Mei,

only to find Pai Mei was...

inconsolable.

So began...

the Massacre of the Shaolin Temple...

and all 60 of the monks inside...

at the fists of the White Lotus.

And so began the legend...

of Pai Mei's Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique.

And what, pray tell,

is the Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique?

Quite simply,

the deadliest blow
in all of martial arts.

He hits you with his fingertips...

at five different
pressure points on your body...

and then lets you walk away.

But once you've taken five steps,

your heart explodes
inside your body...

and you fall to the floor, dead.

- Did he teach you that?
- No.

He teaches no one...

the Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique.

Now,

one of the things
I've always liked about you,

Kiddo,

is you appear wise
beyond your years.

So, allow me to impart
a word to the wise.

Whatever,

whatever Pai Mei says, obey.

If you flash him,
even for an instant,

a defiant eye,
he'll pluck it out.

And if you throw any
American sass his way,

he'll snap your back and your neck
like they were twigs.

And that will be the story of you.

He'll accept you as his student.

- What happened to you?
-Nothing.

- Get in a fight?
-Friendly contest.

Why did he accept me?

Because he's a very,
very, very old man.

And like all rotten bastards,

when they become old,
they get lonely.

Which has no effect
on their dispositions,

but it does teach them
the value of company.

Just seeing those steps again
makes me ache.

You're going to have
a lot of fun carrying...

buckets of water
up and down that fucker.

When will I see you again?

That's the title of my
favorite soul song of the '70s.

- What?
-Nothing.

When he tells me you're done.

When do you think that might be?

That, my dearest,
depends entirely on you.

Now remember,
no sarcasm, no backtalk.

At least not for
the first year or so.

You're going to have to
let him warm up to you.

He hates Caucasians,
despises Americans,

and has nothing
but contempt for women.

So in your case...

it might take a little while.
Adios.

Master...

Your Mandarin is lousy.

It causes my ears discomfort.
You bray like an ass!

You are not to speak
unless spoken to.

Is it too much to hope
you understand Cantonese?

I speak Japanese very well...

I didn't ask
if you speak Japanese,

I asked if you
understand Cantonese?

A little.

You are here to learn
the mysteries of Kung Fu,

not linguistics.

If you can't understand me,

I will communicate
with you like I would a dog.

When I yell, when I point,

when I beat you with my stick!

Bill is your master, is he not?

Yes, he is.

Your master tells me
you're not entirely unschooled.

What training do you possess?

I am proficient in
Tiger-Crane style,

and I am more than proficient...

in the exquisite art of
the samurai sword.

"The exquisite art of
the samurai sword."

Don't make me laugh!

Your so-called exquisite art,
is only fit for...

Japanese fatheads!

Your anger amuses me.

Do you believe you are my match?

No.

Are you aware I kill at will?

Yes.

Is it your wish to die?

No.

Then you must be stupid...

Then you must be stupid...
so stupid.

Rise, and let me look at
your ridiculous face.

Rise.

So, my pathetic friend,

is there anything that you
can do well?

What's the matter?

Cat got your tongue?

Oh yes, you speak Japanese.

I despise the goddamn Japs!

Go to that rack.

Remove the sword.

Let's see how good
you really are.

If...

you land a single blow,

I'll bow down and call you "master."

From here you can get
an excellent view of my foot.

Your swordsmanship
is amateur at best.

Your so-called kung-fu
is really... quite pathetic.

I asked you to demonstrate
what you know and you did...

Not a goddamn thing!

Let's see your Tiger-Crane
match my Eagle's Claw.

Like all Yankee women,

all you can do is
order in restaurants...

and spend a man's money.

Excruciating, isn't it?

Yes!

If it was my wish...

I could chop your arm off.

No, please don't!

It's my arm now.
I can do what I please.

If you can stop me,
I suggest you try.

I can't.

Because you're helpless?

Yes.

Have you ever felt this before?

No.

Compared to me,

you're as helpless as
a worm fighting an eagle?

Yes!

That's the beginning!

Is it your wish to possess
this kind of power?

Yes!

Your training will begin...
tomorrow.

Since your arm
now belongs to me...

I want it strong.

Can you do that?

I can, but not that close.

Then you can't do it.

What if your enemy
is three inches in front of you?

What do you do then?

Curl into a ball,

or do you put
your fist through him?

Now begin.

It's the wood
that should fear your hand,

not the other way around.

No wonder you can't do it,

you acquiesce to defeat,
before you even begin.

If you want to eat like a dog,

you can live and sleep
outside like a dog.

If you want to live
and sleep like a human,

pick up those sticks.

Come on, you bitch.

Okay, Pai Mei.

Here I come.

May I have a glass of water,
please?

So that's a Texas funeral?

Yep.

I have to give it to you Budd,

that's a pretty
fucked-up way to die.

What's the name on the grave
she's buried under?

Paula...

Schultz.

Can I look at the sword?

That's my money right there
in that red bag, isn't it?

It sure is.

Well then, it's your sword now.

So this is a Hattori Hanzo sword.

What's that you said?

So this is a Hattori Hanzo sword.

That's a Hanzo sword all right.

Bill tells me you once
had one of these of your own.

Yeah, once.

How does this one compare to that?

If you're going to compare
a Hanzo sword...

you compare it to
every other sword ever made...

wasn't made...
by Hattori Hanzo.

Here you go.
Wrap your lips around that.

So...

which "R" are you filled with?

What?

They say...

the number one killer
of old people...

is retirement.

People got a job to do,
they tend to...

live a little bit longer
so they can do it.

I've always figured that
warriors and their enemies...

share the same relationship.

So now that you're
not going to have to...

face your enemy no
more on the battlefield,

which "R" you filled with?

Relief?

Or regret?

A little bit of both.

Horseshit.

I'm sure that you do feel
a little bit of both,

but I know damn well
that you feel one...

more than you feel the other.

And the question was:

which one is it?

Regret.

You know, you got to
hand it to the old girl.

I never saw anybody buffalo Bill
the way she buffaloed Bill.

Bill thought she was so damn smart,

and I tried to tell him,
she was just smart for a blond.

Thanks a bunch.

I'm sorry, Budd.

That was rude of me, wasn't it?

Budd, I'd like to introduce
my friend, the black mamba.

Black mamba, this is Budd.

You know before l
picked that little fella up,

I looked him up
on the internet.

Fascinating creature,
the black mamba.

Listen to this:

"In Africa, the saying goes:

"'In the bush,
an elephant can kill you,

"a leopard can kill you,

"and a black mamba can kill you.

"But only with the mamba,

"and this has been true in Africa
since the dawn of time,

"is death sure.

Hence its handle,
"Death Incarnate."

Pretty cool, huh?

"Its neurotoxic venom...

"is one of nature's
most effective poisons,

"acting on the nervous system,
causing paralysis.

"The venom of a black mamba
can kill a human being in four hours,

"if, say, bitten on
the ankle or the thumb.

"However, a bite to
the face or torso...

can bring death from paralysis
within 20 minutes."

Now, you should listen to this,
because this concerns you.

"The amount of venom
that can be delivered...

from a single bite
can be gargantuan."

You know, I've always liked
that word "gargantuan."

I so rarely have an opportunity
to use it in a sentence.

"If not treated quickly
with antivenom,

"10 to 15 milligrams
can be fatal to human beings.

"However, the black mamba
can deliver...

as much as 100 to 400 milligrams
of venom from a single bite."

Now,

in these last agonizing
minutes of life you have left,

let me answer that question
you asked earlier more thoroughly.

Right at this moment...

the biggest "R" I feel is regret.

Regret...

that maybe the greatest
warrior I have ever met...

met her end at the hands
of a bushwhackin',

scrub, alkie,
piece of shit like you.

That woman deserved better.

Bill.

I have some tragic news.

Your brother's dead.

I'm so sorry, baby.

She put a black mamba in his camper.

I got her, sweetie. She's dead.

Let me put it this way,

you ever start feeling sentimental,
go to Barstow, California.

When you get here walk into
a florist and buy a bunch of flowers.

Then you take those flowers
to Huntington Cemetery...

on Fuller and Guadalupe,

look for the headstone
marked Paula Schultz...

and lay them on the grave.

Because you will be standing at
the final resting place...

of Beatrix Kiddo.

- Marty Kistrosser?
- Here.

- Melanie Harrhouse?
- Here.

- Beatrix Kiddo?
- Here.

Look, I can be there
in about four hours.

Do you want me to come over?

No, no, no, no.
You need me, baby, I'm there.

Okay, I'm leaving now.

You go smoke some pot or
something, I'll be there soon.

Gross.

"To my brother, Budd.
The only man I ever loved. Bill."

What's that?

Budd's Hanzo sword.

He said he pawned it.

Guess that makes him a liar,
now don't it?

Elle.

B.

Something I've always
been curious about.

Just between us girls,

what did you say to Pai Mei
to make him snatch out your eye?

I called him a
"miserable old fool."

Oh. Bad idea.

Know what I did?

I killed that miserable old fool.

How do you like the fish head,
you miserable old fool.

I poisoned his fish heads.

Elle, you treacherous dog.

I give you my word...

And I told him:

"To me, the word of
an old fool like you...

"is worth...

less than nothing."

That's right.

I killed your master,

and now I'm going to kill you too,

with your own sword, no less.

Which in the very immediate future,

will become...

my sword.

Bitch,

you don't have a future.

I can't see!

Fucking bitch!

I'll kill you! You're fucking dead!

My eye!

You bitch! You bitch!

I'll fucking kill you, bitch!

I'll get you!

Where are you?!
Let me fucking at you!

Where are you?!
I'm coming, you fucking bitch!

You're fucking dead!

You're dead!
I'll kill you, you fucking...

Oh, shit!

Like most men
who never knew their father,

Bill collected father figures.

The first was Esteban Vihaio.

Esteban was a pimp
and a friend of Bill's mother.

He ran a brothel in Acuna,
Mexico, for over 50 years.

His army, the Acuna Boys,

made up of the fatherless
offspring of his whores, ran Acuna.

He ran the Acuna Boys.

Now, at the age of 80,

it would be this
retired gentleman of leisure...

who could point me
in Bill's direction.

Senor Esteban Vihaio?

Yes.

May I join you?

Only on the condition
that you call me Esteban.

May I join you, Esteban?

Please.

Americana?

Yes.

I speak a little Spanish,
if you prefer.

No, no, no, no.

I prefer English.

I haven't spoken it in a while,

but I would relish the
opportunity...

to converse with such a
pretty companion as yourself.

It's my pleasure
to be in the company...

of such a fine
gentleman as yourself.

I must warn you, young lady,

I am susceptible to flattery.

How may I be of service to you?

Where's Bill?

You must be Beatrix.

I can see the attraction.

I remember when Bill
was only five years old,

I took him to the movies.

It was a movie
starring Lana Turner,

"The Postman Always Rings Twice",
with John Garfields.

And whenever she would
appear on the screen,

Bill would begin compulsively...

to suck his thumb
to an obscene amount.

And I knew from this very moment
this boy was a fool for blonds.

You know,

being a fool for a woman
such as yourself...

is always the right thing to do.

If we had met
when I was back in business,

you would have been
my number one lady.

Well, I'm flattered.

You goddamn well better be.

This? I heard you
were driving a truck.

My Pussy Wagon died on me.

The Pussy died.

Bill shot you in the head, no?

Yes.

I would have been much nicer.

I would have just cut your face.

You must forgive me.

Please, you have a drink with me.

Clarita.

Coming.

Tequila.

Thanks.

What were we talking about?

Bill.

Where's Bill?

Where's Bill?

Bill is at the Villa Quatro,
on the road to Salina.

I will draw you a map.

Bill is like a son to me.

Do you know why I help you?

No.

Because he would want me to.

Now that I don't believe.

How else is he
ever going to see you again?

Freeze, Mommy.

Bang, bang!

She got us B.B., Mommy got us.

I'm dying.

I'm dying. I'm dy...

Fall down, sweetheart.
Mommy shot us.

But, little did
Quickdraw Kiddo know...

that little B.B.
was only playing possum,

due to the fact that she
was impervious to bullets.

I am pervious to bullets, Mommy.

-Hey, get back down there.
- Oh yeah.

You're playing possum.

So as the smirking
killer advanced...

on what she thought
was a bullet-ridden corpse,

that's when little B.B. fired.

Bang, bang!

You're dead, Mommy. So die.

B.B.

B.B.!

I should have known.

You are... the best.

Oh, Mommy, don't die.

I was just playing.

I know.

I told her that you were asleep,

but that one day you would
wake up and come back to her.

And she asked me:

"If Mommy's been asleep
since I was born,

then how will she know
what I look like?"

To which I replied:

"Because, Mommy's
been dreaming of you."

That's what I said.

Did you dream of me?
I dreamed of you.

Every single night, baby.
Every single night.

I waited a long time
for you to wake up, Mommy.

Let me look at you.

My, my, my, what a
pretty little girl you are.

You're pretty too, Mommy.

Tell Mommy what you said
when I showed you her picture.

Come on, shy girl.

Come on. You know what you said.

Come on. Tell Mommy.
It'll make her feel good.

Yeah. Come on.

I said, I said:

"You're the most
beautifulest woman I ever saw...

in the whole wide world."

That's the truth.
That's what she said.

B.B.,

don't you think Mommy has
the prettiest hair...

in the whole wide world?

Yes, I do.

Matter of fact,
it's better than pretty.

W hat's better than pretty?

Gorgeous.

Very good. Gorgeous.

Mommy is gorgeous.

You know, sweetie,
Mommy's kind of mad at Daddy.

Why, Daddy?
Were you being a bad daddy?

I'm afraid I was.
I was a real bad daddy.

Our little girl learned about
life and death the other day.

Want to tell Mommy about
what happened to Emilio?

I killed him.

Emilio was her goldfish.

Emilio was my goldfish.

She came running into my room...

holding the fish
in her hand and crying:

"Daddy, Daddy. Emilio's dead."

And I said, "Really?
That's so sad. How did he die?"

And what did you say?

"l stepped on him."

Actually, young lady,

the words you so
strategically used were:

"l accidentally stepped on him."

To which I queried:

"And just how did your foot
accidentally...

find its way
into Emilio's fishbowl?"

And she said, "No, no, no.

Emilio was on the carpet
when I stepped on him."

Hmmm, the plot thickens.

"And just how did Emilio
get on the carpet?"

And, Mommy, you
would have been so proud of her.

She didn't lie.

She said she took
Emilio out of his bowl...

and put him on the carpet.

And what was Emilio
doing on the carpet?

Flapping.

- And then you stomped on him.
- Uh huh.

And when you lifted up your foot,

what was Emilio doing then?

Nothing.

He stopped flapping, didn't he?

She told me later...

that the second
she lifted up her foot...

and saw Emilio not flapping,

she knew what she had done.

Is that not the perfect
visual image of life and death?

A fish flapping on the carpet,

and a fish not flapping
on the carpet.

So powerful...

even a four-year-old
with no concept of life or death,

knew what it meant.

- You loved Emilio, didn't you?
- Uh huh.

Well,

I love Mommy too,

but I did to Mommy
what you did to Emilio.

You stomped on Mommy?

Worse.

I shot Mommy.

Not pretend shooting
like we were just doing.

I shot her for real.

Why? Did you want to see
what would happen?

No, I knew what would happen
to Mommy if I shot her.

What I didn't know was,
when I shot Mommy,

what would happen to me.

What happened?

I was very sad.

And that's when I learned:

some things, once you do,
they can never be undone.

What happened to Mommy?

Why don't you ask Mommy?

You okay, Mommy? Does it hurt?

No, sweetie.

It doesn't hurt anymore.

Did it make you sick?

No.

It made me sleep.

That's why I haven't been with
you B.B., I've been asleep.

But you're awake now,
Mommy, right?

I'm wide awake, pretty girl.

B.B., would you like Mommy
to watch a video with you...

before sleepy time?

Ah huh.

Mommy, do you want to watch a video
with me before sleepy time?

Oh, yeah! I would love to.

- Which one do you want to watch?
- "Shogun Assassin."

No B.B.,
"Shogun Assassin" is too long.

No, it's not.

Well, then,
I'll leave you ladies to it.

When I was little...

my father was famous.

He was the greatest
samurai in the empire,

and he was the
shogun's decapitator.

He cut off the heads of 1 31 lords.

My father would
come home to Mother...

and when he would see her he
would forget about the killings.

He wasn't scared of the shogun,

but the shogun was
scared of him.

Maybe that was the problem.

One night,

the shogun sent
his ninja spies...

I was just admiring your sword.

Quite a piece of work.

Speaking of which,
how is Hanzo-san?

He's good.

Has his sushi gotten any better?

You know, I couldn't believe it.
You got him to make you a sword.

It was easy.

I just dropped your name, Bill.

That'd do it.

I suppose the idea is we cross
Hanzo swords. Am I right?

Well,

it just so happens this hacienda
has its own private beach.

And that private beach
just so happens...

to look particularly
beautiful bathed in moonlight.

And there just so happens to be
a full moon out tonight.

So, swordfighter,

if you want a swordfight,
that's where I suggest.

But, if you want to be
old school about it,

and you know I'm
all about old school,

then we could wait until dawn...

and slice each other up
at sunrise...

Like a couple of
real-life, honest...

Now,

if you don't settle down,

I'm going to have to
put one in your kneecap.

And I hear tell that's a very
painful place to get shot in.

I'm just fucking with you.

Now,

when it comes to you,

and us,

I have a few unanswered questions.

So,

before this tale of bloody revenge
reaches its climax,

I'm going to ask you
some questions,

and I want you to
tell me the truth.

However, therein lies a dilemma.

Because, when it comes to
the subject of me,

I believe you are truly
and utterly incapable...

of telling the truth,
especially to me.

And least of all to yourself.

And when it comes to
the subject of me,

I am truly
and utterly incapable...

of believing anything you say.

How do you suppose
we solve this dilemma?

Well,

it just so happens...

I have a solution.

Gotcha!

Goddamn!

What the fuck did you
just shoot me with?!

My greatest invention,
or at least my favorite.

Don't touch it or I'll stick
another one right in your cheek.

What lies within that dart,

just begging to course
its way through your veins,

is an incredibly potent and
quite infallible truth serum.

I call it "The Undisputed Truth."

Twice as strong as
sodium pentothal,

with no druggie aftereffects.

Except for a
slight wave of euphoria.

You feel it?

- Euphoria?
- Yeah.

No.

Too bad.

As you know,

I'm quite keen on comic books.

Especially the ones
about superheroes.

I find the whole mythology...

surrounding superheroes
fascinating.

Take my favorite superhero,
Superman.

Not a great comic book.
Not particularly well drawn.

But the mythology,

the mythology is not only
great, it's unique.

How long does this shit
take to go into effect?

About two minutes.

Just long enough for me
to finish my point.

Now,

a staple of the
superhero mythology...

is there's the superhero
and there's the alter ego.

Batman is actually Bruce Wayne,

Spider-Man is
actually Peter Parker.

When that character wakes up
in the morning, he's Peter Parker.

He has to put on a costume
to become Spider-Man.

And it is in that characteristic
Superman stands alone.

Superman didn't become Superman.

Superman was born Superman.

When Superman wakes up
in the morning, he's Superman.

His alter ego is Clark Kent.

His outfit with the big red "S",

that's the blanket he was wrapped in
as a baby when the Kents found him.

Those are his clothes.

What Kent wears, the glasses,

the business suit,
that's the costume.

That's the costume Superman
wears to blend in with us.

Clark Kent is how
Superman views us.

And what are the
characteristics of Clark Kent?

He's weak,

he's unsure of himself,

he's a coward.

Clark Kent is Superman's critique
on the whole human race.

Sort of like Beatrix Kiddo
and Mrs. Tommy Plympton.

Ah so.

The point emerges.

You would've worn
the costume of Arlene Plympton,

but you were born Beatrix Kiddo.

And every morning
when you woke up,

you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo.

Oh, you can take the needle out.

Are you calling me a superhero?

I'm calling you a killer.

A natural born killer.

You always have been,
and you always will be.

Moving to El Paso,

working in a used record store,

going to the movies with Tommy,

clipping coupons.

That's you trying to disguise
yourself as a worker bee.

That's you trying to
blend in with the hive.

But you're not a worker bee.

You're a renegade killer bee.

And no matter how much beer
you drank or barbecue you ate, or...

how fat your ass got,

nothing in the world
would ever change that.

First question:

did you really think your life
in El Paso was going to work?

No!

But I would've had B.B.!

Don't get me wrong, I think you
would've been a wonderful mother,

but you are a killer.

All those people
you killed to get to me,

felt damn good, didn't they?

Yes.

Every single one of them?

Yes.

That was the warm-up round.

Now comes the $64,000 question.

Why did you run away
from me with my baby?

Do you remember the last
assignment you sent me on?

Of course.

Lisa Wong.

The morning I left, I was sick.

On the plane, I threw up.

So I started thinking...

maybe I was pregnant.

"Easy to use.

"Remove cap and urinate on the
absorbent end for five seconds.

"Accurate results in only 90 seconds.

You can read the results as soon as
the line appears in the window."

Fuck.

What I didn't know...

was that somewhere on my journey
I had been spotted.

With me in L.A.,
,
it didn't take Lisa Wong long...

to send an assassin of her own.

Hello, can I help you?

Hello, I'm Karen Kim,

the hospitality manager
of the hotel.

I have a welcome gift
from the management.

That's nice,

can you just leave it by the door?

You pretty good with that shotgun?

Not that I have to be at this range,

but I'm a fucking surgeon
with this shotgun.

Well, guess what, bitch.

I'm better than Annie Oakley.
And I got you right in my sight.

I could blow your fucking head off.

Not before I put one right between
your eyes, so let's talk.

Karen,

I just found out,

right now,

not a moment before you blew a hole
through the door,

that I'm pregnant.

What is this?

On the floor by the door...

is a strip that says I'm pregnant.

Bullshit.

Any other time you'd be
100 percent right.

This time...

you're 100 percent wrong.

I'm the deadliest woman
in the world.

But right now I'm just
scared shitless for my baby.

Please.

Just look at the strip.

Please!

Stay where you are and don't move.

I don't know what
this fuckin' shit means.

The box with the
directions is right there.

"Easy to use.

Remove the cap and urinate
on the absorbent end."

Blue means pregnant.

I'll read it myself, thank you.

Okay,

say I were to believe you,
what then?

Just go home.

I'll do the same.

Congratulations.

Before that strip turned blue...

I was a woman, I was your woman.

I was a killer who killed for you.

Before that strip turned blue...

I would've jumped a motorcycle
onto a speeding train.

For you.

But once that strip turned blue...

I could no longer do
any of those things.

Not anymore.

Because I was going to be a mother.

Can you understand that?

Yes.

But why didn't you...

tell me then instead of now?

Once you knew, you'd claim her.

And I didn't want that.

Not your decision to make.

Yes.

But it's the right decision,
and I made it for my daughter.

She deserved to be born
with a clean slate.

But with you...

she would've been born
into a world she shouldn't have.

I had to choose.

I chose her.

You know, five years ago,

if I had to make a list...

of impossible things
that could never happen,

you performing a
coup de grace on me...

by busting a cap in my crown...

would've been right at
the top of the list.

I'd have been wrong, wouldn't l?

I'm sorry.

Was that a question?

Of impossible things
that could never happen,

yes, in this instance
you would've been wrong.

Well?

When you never came back...

I naturally assumed Lisa Wong,
or somebody else,

had killed you.

Oh, and for the record,

letting somebody think
somebody they love is dead,

when they're not,
is quite cruel.

I mourned you for three months.

And in the third month
of mourning you...

I tracked you down.

I wasn't trying to track you down.

I was trying to track down...

the fucking assholes
I thought killed you.

So I find you,

and what do I find?

Not only are you not dead,

you're getting married
to some fucking jerk.

And you're pregnant.

I overreacted.

You overreacted?

Is that your explanation?

I didn't say I was going to
explain myself.

I said I was going to
tell you the truth.

But, if that's too cryptic,
let's get literal.

I'm a killer.

I'm a murdering bastard,
you know that.

And there are consequences...

to breaking the heart
of a murdering bastard.

You experienced some of them.

Was my reaction
really that surprising?

Yes.

It was.

Could you do what you did?

Of course you could.

But I never thought...

you would or could do that to me.

I'm really sorry, Kiddo,

but you thought wrong.

You and I have unfinished business.

Baby,

you ain't kidding.

Pai Mei taught you...

the Five-Point-Palm
Exploding-Heart Technique?

Course he did.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know.

Because I'm...

a bad person.

No.

You're not a bad person.

You're a terrific person.

You're my favorite person.

But every once in a while...

you can be a real cunt.

How do I look?

You look ready.

Well, well, well.
,

If it ain't the little flower.

Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America
and all the ships at sea.

Let's go to press. Flash.

Do you have a magpie in your home?

If you do,
you are most fortunate.

The magpie is the most charming bird
in all the world.

He's the best friend
a farmer ever had.

Treat him gently. Treat him kindly.

And always remember,
the magpie deserves your respect.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Now, I'll tell you what
I'm going to do.

I ain't got no headache.

Oh yes you have, brother.

Mark it.

And, action!

Cut.

Oh, come on, let's do it again.