All language subtitles for Fawlty Towers - 105 - Gourmet Night.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:26,494 Come on. 2 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:29,380 Is it so difficult for you to start? 3 00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:30,620 It's so basic. If you don't go, 4 00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,975 there's little point in having you. 5 00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:52,860 Just pull yourself together, all right? 6 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,259 Make an effort. 7 00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,380 - Now, look. - Mr. Fawlty. 8 00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:02,380 Mr. Fawlty, Mr. Fawlty. 9 00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:03,540 Uh, telephone. 10 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,340 - What? - Telephone. 11 00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,100 Telephone. 12 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,620 Where's Sybil? 13 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:09,980 ¿Qué? 14 00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:12,180 Where's Sy-bil? 15 00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:13,380 Uh... 16 00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:14,740 "Where's... 17 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:15,740 the bill"? 18 00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:17,180 No, no, no. Not the bill, 19 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,780 I own the place, I don't pay bills. 20 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:19,940 Where's my wife? 21 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:21,460 She not here. 22 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,688 She is there! 23 00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:27,580 Oh, never mind. Never mind. 24 00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:29,380 Right, leave it to me, I'll do it. 25 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,340 I'll mend the car, I'll answer the telephone. 26 00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:34,380 Then you can chain me up, and I'll wash the windows. 27 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:36,700 - In here, in here. - Yes, I know! 28 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:37,860 - This way. - Yes, yes! 29 00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:40,090 I know it's this way. I own the place. 30 00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:43,620 Hello, Fawlty Towers. 31 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:47,260 Oh, Andre! Thank you for calling. 32 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:49,100 Kurt's marvelous. 33 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,060 We're absolutely delighted with him. 34 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,580 Really, Andre, he's wonderful! 35 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:53,900 This, Basil's wife... 36 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:54,940 This, Basil... 37 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:57,090 This, smack on head. 38 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,140 Just one moment, Andre. 39 00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:03,180 - Basil? - Yes, dear? 40 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:04,740 Have you taken the car in yet? 41 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:05,980 Yes, I'm dealing with it, dear. 42 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:07,780 You're not trying to do it yourself? 43 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,380 Oh, have you seen this mark, dear? 44 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,380 Did you hear what I said? 45 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,100 Yes, I did. Bit of a scratch. 46 00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,180 Take it into the garage. 47 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,900 Yes, just having a look at it, dear. 48 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,380 Sorry, Andre. Where was I? 49 00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:20,740 Yes, he's the best chef we've ever had. 50 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:24,380 We can't thank you enough for finding him for us. 51 00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:27,540 Look, can you come have dinner on Sunday? 52 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:30,020 There's something we want to ask your advice about. 53 00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:33,376 Okay, lovely. See you then, then. 54 00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:36,900 Hello, Polly. 55 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,380 Will you come and have a drink, Mrs. Fawlty? 56 00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:39,620 I've just sold a sketch. 57 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,460 Really? I'd love to. 58 00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:43,380 - Hello. - Hello. 59 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:46,180 Kurt, Andre can come on Sunday. 60 00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:47,980 I thought you were taking the car in? 61 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:49,780 - Are you at those again? - Just took one, dear. 62 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:51,420 You've had enough of those, Basil. 63 00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:52,940 Will you deal with the car, please? 64 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,180 - Good, Mr. Fawlty? - Superb, Kurt. 65 00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:58,020 - For you, Mr. Fawlty? - Thank you, Polly. 66 00:02:58,020 --> 00:02:59,380 Are you going to do the car? 67 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,140 In a moment, my little piranha fish. 68 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:04,380 - What's this for? - I've just sold a sketch. 69 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:05,660 What, for money? 70 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:08,740 I bought it, Mr. Fawlty. She's very talented. 71 00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:09,740 Oh, no, Polly. I won't. 72 00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:10,820 - Oh, come on. - No, thank you. 73 00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:12,380 I brought it to thank you. 74 00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:14,300 - No, honestly. - Don't you like it? 75 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,460 Too much, but not when I'm working. 76 00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:18,060 You drink it for me, Manuel. 77 00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:20,460 - Well, cheerio! - Cheerio, Basil. 78 00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:21,540 Well, that smelled nice. 79 00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:23,740 Here it is, Mr. Fawlty. 80 00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,380 She's really got something, you know. 81 00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:28,260 - Really? - Worth 50p, anyway. 82 00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:29,580 Yes, do you win a bun 83 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:30,860 if you guess what it is, or something? 84 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,660 - It's Manuel. - What?! 85 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:34,860 - It's me. - Where?! 86 00:03:34,860 --> 00:03:37,380 Manuel is my friend. We're good friends, eh? 87 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:38,380 Oh, sí. 88 00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:40,060 Yes. Very modern, very socialist. 89 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:42,980 Something to remember him by, when he goes. 90 00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,220 You still here, Basil? 91 00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:45,620 No, I went a couple of minutes ago, dear. 92 00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:47,380 But I expect I'll be back shortly. 93 00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,340 Oh, no, no, Manuel! 94 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:52,100 Look! Like this. 95 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,420 Oh, I like that. Will you do me one? 96 00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:55,620 Really? Of Manuel? 97 00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:57,980 Yes. Look nice on Basil's bedside table. 98 00:03:57,980 --> 00:03:59,140 Two in a day. 99 00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:00,980 That's as many as Van Gogh sold in a lifetime. 100 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:05,053 But he didn't have Manuel as a model, eh? 101 00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:27,620 Mm, this is wonderful. 102 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,820 I told you, he's one of the best. 103 00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:31,380 He's almost as good as you, Andre. 104 00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:33,420 He's absolutely divine, Basil. 105 00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:34,540 Go on, have a bit. 106 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:35,940 Mm. 'Tis good, isn't it? 107 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:36,940 Oh, listen to him. 108 00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:38,660 The only place I've ever seen him eat 109 00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,020 is your restaurant, Andre. 110 00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:41,540 Now he's stuffing it away like a hamster. 111 00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:42,540 Really, Sybil. 112 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:44,340 We're going to buy him a great big wheel 113 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:45,540 to run around in when he's got a moment, 114 00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:49,100 or he'll get like a big bad-tempered tomato. 115 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,260 I believe we were discussing 116 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:52,380 the gourmet evening, dear. 117 00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:53,540 Do you know, Andre... 118 00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:54,820 he burst his zipper this morning. 119 00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,378 Oh! 120 00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:59,300 What's the matter, darling? 121 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,580 You're embarrassing Andre! 122 00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,100 No, I'm embarrassing you. Look at that! 123 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,740 I'd better go have a word with the guests. 124 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,049 Why don't you have another vat of wine, dear? 125 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:12,260 Good evening, Major. Enjoying your soup? 126 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:14,460 Tasted a bit off to me, Fawlty. 127 00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:16,540 It's made with fresh mushrooms, Major. 128 00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,371 Ah! That would explain it. 129 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,100 Good evening. 130 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,460 Everything to your satisfaction? 131 00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:23,900 - Yes, thank... - Well, uh... 132 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:26,100 - I don't like the chips. - Sorry? 133 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,380 The chips are awful. 134 00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:28,980 Oh, dear. What's wrong with them then? 135 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,380 They're the wrong shape, and they're just awful. 136 00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:33,860 He gets everything cooked the way he likes it at home. 137 00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:35,380 Ah, does he? 138 00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:37,860 Yes, and it's better than this pig's garbage. 139 00:05:37,860 --> 00:05:39,180 Now, Ronald! 140 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,540 These eggs look like you laid them. 141 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,020 Ronald! 142 00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:43,700 N-now, l-look here, old chap. 143 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,660 Shut up! Leave him alone! 144 00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:48,020 He's very clever, rather highly strung. 145 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:49,540 Yes, yes, he should be. 146 00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:51,780 Haven't you any proper chips? 147 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:53,540 These are proper french fried potatoes. 148 00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:55,100 The chef is continental. 149 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,580 Couldn't you get an English one? 150 00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:58,700 Why don't you eat one or two, dear? 151 00:05:58,700 --> 00:05:59,900 They're the wrong shape. 152 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,980 What shape do you usually have? 153 00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:03,860 Mickey Mouse shape? Smarties shape? 154 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,380 Amphibious landing craft shape? 155 00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,900 Poke in the eye shape? 156 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,540 - God, you're dumb. - Oh, now! 157 00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:13,340 Is there something we can get you instead, Sonny? 158 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,740 I'd like some bread and salad cream. 159 00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:16,740 To eat? 160 00:06:16,740 --> 00:06:18,260 Well, there's the bread, 161 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:19,620 and there's the mayonnaise. 162 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,540 I said, "Salad cream," stupid. 163 00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:24,300 We don't have any salad cream. 164 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,900 The chef made this freshly this morning. 165 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:27,380 What a dump. 166 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:29,260 This is very good. 167 00:06:29,260 --> 00:06:30,380 He likes salad cream. 168 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,780 That's puke, that is. 169 00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,260 At least, it's fresh puke. 170 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,140 - Oh, dear! - Well, he said it. 171 00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:38,380 May I ask why you don't have proper salad cream? 172 00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:39,580 Most restaurants... 173 00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:41,940 Well, the chef usually buys it only on special occasions, 174 00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:43,740 you know, gourmet nights, and so on. 175 00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:45,780 But when he's got a bottle, ah! 176 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,500 He's a genius with it. 177 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:49,900 He can unscrew the cap like Robert Carrier. 178 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,940 It's a treat to watch. And then... 179 00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,380 Right on the plate! 180 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,460 Never on the walls! Magic! 181 00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:56,340 Mind you, he's a wizard with the tin opener, too. 182 00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:57,420 He's got a Pulitzer Prize for that. 183 00:06:57,420 --> 00:07:00,100 He can have the stuff in the saucepan 184 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,380 before you can say, "Haute cuisine." 185 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,380 You name it, he'll heat it up 186 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:04,860 and scrape it off the pan for you. 187 00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:06,940 Skill like that isn't picked up overnight. 188 00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,540 Still, I'll tell him to get some salad cream. 189 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,300 You never know when Henry Kissinger 190 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,940 is going to drop in, do you? 191 00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,170 - Ow! - Oh, sorry! 192 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:17,020 N-n-nice man. 193 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,020 No, no, seriously. 194 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,380 I think it's a very good idea. 195 00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:21,020 - You do, really? - I promise you. 196 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,620 People around here are getting 197 00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,140 more and more keen on good food. 198 00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:25,380 Well, so much for tonight's guests. 199 00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:26,500 Ignorant rabble. 200 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,300 There's always a few, Mr. Fawlty. 201 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,620 Not on gourmet night, there won't be. 202 00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:31,020 - None of these proles. - Basil! 203 00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:32,220 Well! 204 00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:34,020 Andre thinks Thursday nights would be best. 205 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,300 - "Thursdays?" - Mm-hmm. 206 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:36,300 I think so. 207 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:37,300 And on all the other nights 208 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,820 we'll just have a big trough of baked beans 209 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:41,288 and garnish it with a couple of dead dogs. 210 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,500 That's settled then. 211 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,140 Good. I'm very pleased for Kurt, too. 212 00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:49,100 It'll be good for him to have something special to do. 213 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,260 I'd like to have a word with him, do you mind? 214 00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:52,380 Of course not. 215 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:53,940 I'll get the menus printed on Monday. 216 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,020 Polly can do the menus. 217 00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:56,020 - No, she can't. - Yes, she can. 218 00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:57,180 - No, she can't. - Yes, she can. 219 00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:58,169 - No, she can't. - Yes, she can. 220 00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,980 Yes, she can! 221 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,380 You can write the advertisement in the echo. 222 00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:04,460 Only, don't make it too toffee-nosed, Basil. 223 00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:05,780 We don't want to put people off. 224 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:07,260 I just want to keep the riffraff away, dear. 225 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:09,020 Well, good luck, my friend. 226 00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:10,540 It's good to have you down here. 227 00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:11,660 Thank you for... 228 00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:13,340 - Well, you know. - Don't mention it. 229 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,380 Nice to have met you, Manuel. 230 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:16,540 He's my friend. 231 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:18,420 One night I cook you both paella. 232 00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,380 Okay. And Kurt... hmm! 233 00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:21,380 You don't trust me? 234 00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:22,529 Ciao. 235 00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:25,380 Manuel, together you and I make 236 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,380 Fawlty Towers famous for its cooking. 237 00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:28,380 ¿Qué? 238 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,620 Excellent, tip-top, famoso! 239 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,895 Oh, you're are so cute. 240 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:37,172 - Manuel. - Oh! 241 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,380 Get a clean one. 242 00:08:41,380 --> 00:08:42,938 Is clean now. 243 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,537 Is dirty now. 244 00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:51,860 Do you like the menu, Mr. Fawlty? 245 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:52,860 No, I don't. 246 00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:54,180 - Oh, good. - What? 247 00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:55,454 Thank you. Thank you so much. 248 00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:58,820 Give it to me. Give it to me. 249 00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:00,378 Thank you. 250 00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:04,220 Well, Basil, guess who just called 251 00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:06,380 to cancel at 12 minutes past 7:00. 252 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,620 - Who? - The Coosters. 253 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:09,380 What, all four? 254 00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:10,380 Marvelous, isn't it? 255 00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:12,380 Ach! What did they say? 256 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:13,380 One of them's ill. 257 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:15,780 Well, let's hope it's nothing trivial. 258 00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:17,620 Do you realize there are four people 259 00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:19,380 at our grand opening dinner? 260 00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:22,060 - Never mind. - "Never mind?" 261 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:23,380 There's four people, Basil. 262 00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:24,740 Shall we feed them in the kitchen? 263 00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:26,300 But think who those four are. 264 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,380 Colonel and Mrs. Hall, both JPS; 265 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:29,740 and Lionel Twitchen, 266 00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:31,940 one of Torquay's leading Rotarians. 267 00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:33,340 That'll put us on the map. 268 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,580 He's this year's treasurer, dear. 269 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:36,820 I should have never let you write that advert. 270 00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,860 Fancy putting, "No Riffraff." 271 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:41,060 When you're presenting haute cuisine, 272 00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,660 you don't want the working class sticking its nose in it. 273 00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:45,740 Everything all right? Where's Kurt? 274 00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:48,420 He and Manuel are getting the wine from the cellar. 275 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,140 Ah, this is what it's all about. 276 00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,380 You two! 277 00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:53,060 You're supposed to be in your rooms! 278 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,900 You're not allowed down here tonight. Remember? 279 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,580 Ooh, doesn't it look pretty? 280 00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:57,980 What are you cooking? 281 00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:59,420 I'll send you up a menu with your bread and cheese. 282 00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:00,980 Now get out! 283 00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:02,580 Basil, they're here. 284 00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:04,340 - What? - The Halls are here. 285 00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:06,580 - Go to your rooms! - The Halls! 286 00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:08,380 Mr. Fawlty! 287 00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:10,620 Mr. Fawlty! I very upset! 288 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:13,180 Not now, Manuel. Later! 289 00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:16,780 Well, when I went for my jog this morning, 290 00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:19,020 I thought it was going to be pretty warm. 291 00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,500 But in the event, of course, 292 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,740 it turned out to be... 293 00:10:22,740 --> 00:10:24,540 pretty cool, really. 294 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,980 Uh, then it began to cloud up this afternoon... 295 00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:30,340 quite contrary to the weather forecast, naturally. 296 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,740 And I shouldn't be a bit surprised 297 00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:34,180 if we get a spot of rain tonight. 298 00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:36,420 Still, it's been a lovely summer, hasn't it? 299 00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:38,180 - Oh, yes. - Ah, colonel! 300 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,860 How delightful to see you again. 301 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:40,860 Sorry? 302 00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,260 How delightful to see you again. 303 00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:44,380 We met last year at the golf club dinner dance, 304 00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:45,420 you may remember. 305 00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:46,580 No, I don't. 306 00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:49,260 Ah, fine, we didn't talk for long. 307 00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:50,660 Just good evening, really, you know. 308 00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:52,420 A blink of the eye and you would've missed it. 309 00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:53,820 As indeed you did... 310 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,620 Quite understandably. 311 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:58,380 Sorry? What? 312 00:10:58,380 --> 00:10:59,580 Hmm? 313 00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:01,060 Well, uh... 314 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,380 How's that lovely daughter of yours? 315 00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:04,780 She's dead. 316 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:06,980 I like your suit... isn't that super, 317 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,660 the way those stripes go up and down? 318 00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:09,700 It's really super! 319 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,020 How much did that cost then? 320 00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,300 Who are you?! 321 00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,291 I mean, I don't know your name! 322 00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:17,940 What is it? 323 00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:20,340 - What? - My name. 324 00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:23,060 Oh, this is my husband, Basil Fawlty. 325 00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:24,060 - That's it! - What? 326 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:25,260 - How do you do? - How do you do? 327 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:26,540 And may I introduce my wife? 328 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,180 She just introduced you. 329 00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:29,180 Oh, what a coincidence. 330 00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:30,340 Yes. 331 00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:32,060 Well, I don't believe you know my wife. 332 00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,620 Dead? Yes. 333 00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:35,372 May I introduce Mrs. Hall? 334 00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:40,740 Oh, sorry! 335 00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,731 Didn't see you down there. Don't get up. 336 00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:47,500 What would you like to drink, 337 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,620 Mrs. Small... hall! 338 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,940 Yes, a short, 339 00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:51,373 or, or... 340 00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,020 Sherry! How about a Sherry? 341 00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:55,020 A Sherry, lovely. 342 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,260 Oh, good. Large, or... or... 343 00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,380 or not quite so large? 344 00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,940 Two, small and dry. 345 00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:02,380 Oh, I wouldn't say that. 346 00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:03,500 What? 347 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,500 I don't know. 348 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,540 Two small, dry sherries. 349 00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:07,620 Oh, I see what you mean. 350 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,620 I'm sorry! 351 00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:11,660 Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Twitchen, good evening. 352 00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:13,380 Welcome to Fawlty Towers. 353 00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:14,380 Good evening. 354 00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,940 How very au fait of you 355 00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,180 to come to our little culinary soiree this evening. 356 00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:21,140 Only too glad to support something new in Torquay. 357 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,540 Such an unusual idea. 358 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:23,780 I do hope it works out. 359 00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:24,780 Well, we have our hopes. 360 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,020 - Mr. Fawlty? - Ah, Polly! 361 00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,300 Would you take Mrs. Twitchen's coat, please? 362 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:29,580 - Yes, of course. - Thank you so much. 363 00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:30,580 Now, would you care to... 364 00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:31,620 - Mr. Fawlty? - Yes? 365 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:32,620 Can I have a word with you? 366 00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,340 Uh, yes. Oh, this is Polly. 367 00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:36,380 She will be serving you later this evening. 368 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,660 - Uh... - Well? 369 00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,100 It's Kurt. 370 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,180 Yes? 371 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:42,580 He's potted... 372 00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:43,580 the shrimps. 373 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:44,580 What? 374 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,540 He's potted the shrimps. 375 00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:49,620 "Shrimps"? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly. 376 00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,620 Now... 377 00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:52,420 He's sauced! 378 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:53,460 ...the herrings. 379 00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:55,380 What are you talking about? 380 00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,820 He's pickled the onions, 381 00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:00,940 and he's smashed the eggs in his cups... 382 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,980 ...under the table. 383 00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:05,020 Excuse me. 384 00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,380 Have you been drinking? 385 00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:09,100 - No, not me! - Will you behave yourself! 386 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:11,380 I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. 387 00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:12,700 Uh, would you care for a... 388 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:13,740 Will you stop that?! 389 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:15,380 Please pull yourself together! 390 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:18,372 Now may I offer you a little aperitif before... 391 00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,020 Sorry, a bit of cotton. 392 00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:22,740 May I offer you a little aperitif 393 00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:24,380 while you make up your mind 394 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,420 what you'd like for dinner? 395 00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,860 That's very kind of you. Lotte? 396 00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:28,380 A tomato juice, please. 397 00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:29,380 Mr. Twitchen? 398 00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:30,540 Tomato juice for me, thank you. 399 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:31,940 Ah, good! Oh, Colonel. 400 00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:34,380 Colonel and Mrs. Hall... 401 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:37,380 may I introduce Mr. And Mrs... 402 00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:38,369 Tw... 403 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,580 Have you met? 404 00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:43,580 No, no, we haven't. 405 00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:44,820 - Have you? - No. 406 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:46,660 Oh, good. What would you like to drink then? 407 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:47,860 - What? - To drink. 408 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,620 I didn't catch the name. 409 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,620 Oh, you didn't it catch it. 410 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,700 What a rotten bit of luck. 411 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,620 - Well? - Fine, thank you. And you? 412 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,740 No, no, we still don't know the name. 413 00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:56,780 Oh, Fawlty, Basil Fawlty. 414 00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:58,380 No, no, theirs! 415 00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,620 Oh, theirs! So sorry! 416 00:13:59,620 --> 00:14:01,220 I thought meant yours! 417 00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:03,220 My, it's nice and warm, isn't it? 418 00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:05,420 I could do with a drink, too. So, another Sherry? 419 00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:07,100 Well, aren't you going to introduce us? 420 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,260 - Didn't I? - No! 421 00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:10,251 Oh. This is Mr. And Mrs... 422 00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:12,380 What? 423 00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:13,380 Uh, Mister... 424 00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:14,733 and Missus... 425 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,619 Sorry, I fainted. 426 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:23,020 Well, I feel better now. 427 00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:25,020 I'll just get all your tomato juices. 428 00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,380 Twychen, actually. 429 00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:27,660 Hall. Would you care to join us? 430 00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:29,220 Thank you so much. 431 00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:30,900 - Here we are. - Thank you, sir. 432 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,697 Would you like to see the menu? 433 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,420 Yes, what is it? 434 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:35,780 Please, put the bottle down. 435 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,540 - What do you want? - Please put the bottle down! 436 00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:38,660 What is it?! 437 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,457 Kurt is drunk. 438 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,220 Sorry! Sorry. 439 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:47,260 "Drunk"? 440 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:49,100 Almost unconscious. 441 00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,453 Right. 442 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:56,700 Sorry! Sorry! 443 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,380 How? 444 00:14:58,380 --> 00:14:59,900 I don't know. It happened so quickly. 445 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,900 - He had a row with Manuel. - Manuel? 446 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,020 He's got a crush on him. 447 00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,020 - A what?! - A crush. 448 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:05,009 You know, in love. 449 00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:07,420 Sorry. 450 00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:09,380 Um, would you excuse me for a moment? 451 00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:10,900 I won't be one moment. 452 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,220 I knew it! 453 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:13,420 I should have never hired a Frenchman. 454 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:14,780 He's Greek, Mr. Fawlty. 455 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,940 Well, that's even worse. I mean, they invented it. 456 00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:18,420 Right! 457 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:20,500 Give that to me, Kurt. 458 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,660 Give me that bottle. 459 00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:23,380 No, go away! Leave me alone. 460 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,660 Come on. Give it to me. 461 00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:25,649 Manuel! 462 00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:30,580 Come on, Kurt. 463 00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,860 Manuel! He doesn't love me! 464 00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:34,660 Well, you have to give these things time. 465 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,580 I want Manuel! 466 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:37,900 I'm sure we can arrange something. 467 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:38,980 Now can I have the bottle? 468 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,460 - He's so sweet. - Yes, he is sweet. 469 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:42,860 He's wonderful! 470 00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,100 Yes! I know! 471 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,135 Damn you! 472 00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:53,740 Kurt? Come on. 473 00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:54,740 Come on! 474 00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,180 Get some black coffee, quick! 475 00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:57,380 He can't drink it. He's out. 476 00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,940 No, he isn't. He's only drank half a bottle! 477 00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:00,220 Come on, come on, Kurt! 478 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,100 Come on! Come on, Kurt! 479 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,294 Come on. 480 00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:07,380 Now listen to me, Kurty! 481 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,980 I come in now, but no cuddle. 482 00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:09,969 You hear me?! 483 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:12,420 Look at what you've done. 484 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,700 - Dead? - To the world. 485 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:14,700 He's only drunk, Manuel. 486 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:15,940 - This is your fault! - Qué? 487 00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,380 You only had to be civil to him. 488 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:18,740 - "Civil"? - Nice! 489 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,700 You no understand. Is not enough. 490 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,060 He want to kiss me. 491 00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:23,700 Oh, what's one little... 492 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:24,980 Mr. Fawlty! Call Andre. 493 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:26,180 He can do the cooking. 494 00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:28,220 He's open tonight! He's open on a Thursday, 495 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:29,220 you cloth-eared bint! 496 00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,380 But he can do it there. 497 00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:31,779 You can pick it up in the car. 498 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:35,459 Brilliant! 499 00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:38,100 Right! 500 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,420 I can't resist lobster. 501 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:42,380 No. Tournedos for me every time. 502 00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,020 Would you care for another drink? 503 00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,300 No, I don't think we will. 504 00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,300 We're nearly ready to order. 505 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,900 I'll be back in a moment. 506 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:49,380 So, you can't do the lobster? 507 00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:50,380 Right, right, I see, 508 00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:51,900 but, Andre, the tournedos... 509 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,380 Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 510 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,460 - Basil! - Shh! Shh! 511 00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:56,900 Yes, of course I want the duck. 512 00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,980 That's marvelous, but can you do one or two sauces? 513 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:02,340 Wonderful! That's it! Thank you, Andre! 514 00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:03,540 Why are you talking to Andre? 515 00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:04,540 What is it? What is it? 516 00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,340 They're ready to order, Basil. 517 00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:07,340 - Stall them. - What? 518 00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:08,460 Stall them, you stupid woman! 519 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,540 Tell them some lie. 520 00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:10,740 - What's happening? - Shh! 521 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,820 Will you just tell me what you're doing? 522 00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:14,380 We've got to change the menu. 523 00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,655 Why? Why? 524 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:19,020 - Why? - Listen, he's out there! 525 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,860 He's flat out! So, Andre's... 526 00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:21,860 Who is? 527 00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:23,540 - What?! - Who is "out?" 528 00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:26,540 Kurt! Who did you think, Henry Kissinger? 529 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,740 - What do you mean out? - He's drunk! 530 00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:29,860 - "Drunk?" - Drunk! 531 00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:32,620 Soused, potted, inebriated, got it?! 532 00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:34,580 - I don't believe it. - Neither do I. 533 00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:36,536 Perhaps it's a dream. 534 00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:41,140 No, it's not a dream. We're stuck with it. Right! 535 00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:43,540 Andre's doing the cooking, I'll collect it in the car. 536 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,540 What's he cooking? 537 00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:45,540 Duck! 538 00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:46,540 - "Duck?" - Duck! 539 00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:48,531 - "Duck?" - You know, duck. 540 00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,860 I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. 541 00:17:57,860 --> 00:17:59,900 Well, we'd like to order now. 542 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:01,340 Uh, yes, quite. 543 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:03,580 My wife would like the lobster as her main... 544 00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:04,820 Yes, excuse me... 545 00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:06,940 there is one small thing. 546 00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:08,860 I'm afraid you were given the wrong menus. 547 00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:10,851 Uh, this is tonight's menu. 548 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,100 What? 549 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,380 Uh, yes, I'm afraid 550 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,380 the chef changed his mind, and forgot to tell us. 551 00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,420 He's like that. Brilliant, but temperamental. 552 00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,900 - He's changed everything. - I'm afraid so. 553 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,380 It wasn't good enough, so he just chucked it away. 554 00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:24,380 He's such a perfectionist. 555 00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:25,660 - The lobster? - Lobster, 556 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,380 tournedos, you name it, it's in the bin. 557 00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:28,380 How extraordinary. 558 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:29,820 Lucky old bin, I say. 559 00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:31,580 This is your new menu. 560 00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,420 Duck with orange. 561 00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:35,012 Duck with cherries. 562 00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:38,140 Duck surprise? 563 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,020 What's duck surprise? 564 00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:42,932 Uh, that's duck without orange or cherries. 565 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,900 Is this all there is? Duck? 566 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,380 Um, yes. 567 00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:49,940 Done, of course, the three extremely different ways. 568 00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:52,380 And what do you do if you don't like duck? 569 00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:54,380 If you don't like duck... 570 00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:56,291 Uh, you're rather stuck. 571 00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:59,580 Well, fortunately, I love it! 572 00:18:59,580 --> 00:19:01,860 Oh, good, so that's four ducks, is it? 573 00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:03,339 You were right. 574 00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:06,860 Now, he's getting this duck from Andre. 575 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:09,220 Yes, but I don't know what vegetables he's put on. 576 00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:10,380 Three salmon mousses, Polly. 577 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:13,380 And one mullet with mustard sauce for Mrs. Hall. 578 00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:14,540 Where's the mullet? 579 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:15,540 There! 580 00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:16,580 Oh, right. 581 00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:18,180 What are you doing about vegetables, Basil? 582 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:19,380 Same as the other menu, dear. 583 00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:22,060 - Andre's not doing any? - No, no! You and Polly! 584 00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,260 - Um, mustard sauce! - Mustard sauce, here. 585 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:27,020 When I'm out in the car, you get them ready, right? 586 00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,020 - Right. - Ready, Polly? 587 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,020 Ready. 588 00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:30,140 - Manuel? - Sí? 589 00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:31,380 Two of those for table nine, and one of those, 590 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:33,974 and that one's for table four. Come on! 591 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:35,369 Sí. 592 00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:39,016 - Ah. - There you are. 593 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,020 - There you go. - No, the other way around. 594 00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:43,660 - ¿Qué? - The other way around. 595 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:44,649 Oh. Please! 596 00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,300 No, no, no! The plates! 597 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:48,380 Change the plates. 598 00:19:48,380 --> 00:19:50,100 Oh, is dirty. I change. 599 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,579 Come here! 600 00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:54,500 Change the plates. 601 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,730 "Change the plates." 602 00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:00,420 Pardon. 603 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:02,220 Sí, I tell them. 604 00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:03,380 Sorry. Sorry. 605 00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:04,369 Is wrong. 606 00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:08,380 Ow! 607 00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:10,380 I'm so sorry, he's from Barcelona. 608 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,820 Do forgive me. 609 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,378 I don't know what he sees in you! 610 00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:22,700 Do you think we could have a drink, dear? 611 00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,580 May I see the wine list, please, Fawlty? 612 00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:25,860 Certainly, Major... 613 00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,540 Colonel! 614 00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:29,700 Everything all right? 615 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:30,820 Yes, I expect so. 616 00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,180 Oh, good. Mrs. Twitchen? 617 00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:33,500 Yes, it's fine, Mr. Fawlty. 618 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:34,500 Good. Good. 619 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,300 He's got it in his hair. 620 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,940 How is it, dear? 621 00:20:37,940 --> 00:20:39,700 Rather good, surprisingly. 622 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:40,940 Well, there's the wine list. 623 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,373 Thank you very much. 624 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,380 What is it, petal? What's the matter? 625 00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:47,540 Is everything all right? 626 00:20:47,540 --> 00:20:49,900 Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick! 627 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,209 It is an unusual taste, isn't it? 628 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:56,380 It's not cooked, you ignoramus! 629 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,940 What are you trying to do to us, Fawlty? 630 00:20:57,940 --> 00:20:58,980 Do you mean that's raw? 631 00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,380 Oh, would you prefer a cooked one? 632 00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:01,740 Of course she'd prefer a cooked one! 633 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:03,020 I'll get you a cooked one then. 634 00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:04,020 It'll be even nicer! 635 00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:05,380 No! No! 636 00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:07,260 This is raw! This mullet is raw! 637 00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:08,380 What do we do to it? 638 00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:09,380 Kurt! Kurt! 639 00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:10,380 Kurt, listen... 640 00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:12,380 what do we do with this, hmm? 641 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:15,860 Do we grill it? If we grill it, just go, "uh." 642 00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:18,420 All right, do we fry it? Just go, "uh." 643 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,380 Going well, isn't it? 644 00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:23,740 Basil, will you just get out? 645 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:24,729 Right! 646 00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:27,300 - Wine! - What? 647 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,580 The colonel wants some wine. 648 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,457 No, you go, Polly. He won't hit a woman. 649 00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,380 Have you, uh... 650 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:36,820 Have you chosen yet, major? 651 00:21:36,820 --> 00:21:37,860 Colonel! 652 00:21:37,860 --> 00:21:40,020 Have you chosen your wine? 653 00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:41,380 Oh, yes. Chablis, please. 654 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:42,380 Thank you. 655 00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:43,779 - Waitress? - Yes. 656 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:47,011 There's a hair in my mousse. 657 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,460 Well, don't talk too loud. 658 00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:51,060 Everybody will want one. 659 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,140 What?! 660 00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:53,368 Sorry. 661 00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:02,580 Oh, get out of the way. 662 00:22:02,580 --> 00:22:04,140 Get out. 663 00:22:04,140 --> 00:22:06,220 I'm so sorry about that. 664 00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:07,778 The mullet's on its way. 665 00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:21,620 - Andre. - Ah, Monsieur Fawlty. 666 00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:23,620 There you are, a beautiful duck for you. 667 00:22:23,620 --> 00:22:25,380 It should be, mmm, delicious. 668 00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:26,369 Top! 669 00:22:27,940 --> 00:22:29,100 He's always asleep. 670 00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:30,100 There you are. 671 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,500 Don't forget the sauces. 672 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:32,620 - There. - Thank you. 673 00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:34,060 - All right. - Oh, marvelous. 674 00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:36,020 I hope it all goes very well for you. 675 00:22:36,020 --> 00:22:37,009 Good luck. 676 00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:53,369 Come on! 677 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:57,420 What, no good? 678 00:22:57,420 --> 00:22:59,100 No, it's very good. 679 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,089 Oh. 680 00:23:25,340 --> 00:23:26,500 Here it is, Polly. 681 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,540 Right, I'll carve it on the trolley. 682 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,820 And... well done. Well done, everybody. 683 00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,380 Ah, Manuel, get the trolley ready. 684 00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:33,780 Right, right, let's go. 685 00:23:33,780 --> 00:23:34,780 Basil! 686 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:36,380 Aah! 687 00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:38,980 Look what you've done, you stupid great tart! 688 00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:39,980 Wait a minute. 689 00:23:39,980 --> 00:23:40,980 I think it'll be all right. 690 00:23:40,980 --> 00:23:43,016 Yes. Yes, you're right! 691 00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:48,369 Look! 692 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,500 Look at it! 693 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:51,820 I mean, look at that! 694 00:23:51,820 --> 00:23:53,140 Can I help, dear? 695 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:54,940 Yes! Go and kill yourself! 696 00:23:54,940 --> 00:23:56,380 No, talk to Andre first! 697 00:23:56,380 --> 00:23:58,371 Tell him we need another one! 698 00:23:59,380 --> 00:24:00,740 - Oh, go talk to them... - What? 699 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,380 Entertain them, or something. 700 00:24:02,380 --> 00:24:04,300 Andre, it's Sybil Fawlty. 701 00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,370 Well, I'm afraid it got trodden on. 702 00:24:21,540 --> 00:24:23,098 Sorry, so wrong. I try again. 703 00:24:34,380 --> 00:24:36,380 Andre! Where is it? 704 00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:37,540 Don't worry. It's all under control. 705 00:24:37,540 --> 00:24:39,740 - Isn't it beautiful? - Fantastic. 706 00:24:39,740 --> 00:24:40,740 Okay. 707 00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:41,740 - Wait a minute! - What? 708 00:24:41,740 --> 00:24:42,860 You must have both... 709 00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:44,740 - More sauces - I don't need... 710 00:24:44,740 --> 00:24:46,380 Sorry, I don't need them. 711 00:24:46,380 --> 00:24:48,140 That's all right. 712 00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:50,131 You're all right? 713 00:25:03,380 --> 00:25:04,893 Come on! 714 00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:12,095 Olé! 715 00:25:19,380 --> 00:25:23,100 I'm just a girl who can't say no 716 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:25,660 I'm in a terrible fix... 717 00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:31,454 Come... 718 00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:43,810 Come on! 719 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:48,380 Start! 720 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:51,140 Start, you vicious bastard! 721 00:25:51,140 --> 00:25:52,940 Come on! 722 00:25:52,940 --> 00:25:54,540 Oh, my God! 723 00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:57,771 I'm warning you! If you don't start... 724 00:25:58,780 --> 00:26:00,380 I'll count to three. 725 00:26:00,380 --> 00:26:03,420 One... two... 726 00:26:03,420 --> 00:26:04,580 three... right! 727 00:26:04,580 --> 00:26:05,580 That's it! 728 00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:06,740 I've had enough! 729 00:26:06,740 --> 00:26:09,380 You stalled just once too often! 730 00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:12,500 Right! Well, don't say I haven't warned you! 731 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:13,820 I've laid it on the line to you 732 00:26:13,820 --> 00:26:15,580 time and time again! 733 00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:17,540 Right! Well, this is it! 734 00:26:17,540 --> 00:26:20,373 I'm gonna give you a damn good thrashing! 735 00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:33,300 ...can't be prissy and quaint 736 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,700 How can I be what I ain't? 737 00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:38,740 I can't say 738 00:26:38,740 --> 00:26:40,731 no-oo... 739 00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:46,340 Is wonderful! Hey-hey! 740 00:26:46,340 --> 00:26:48,331 - Very... very good. - Thank you. 741 00:26:49,340 --> 00:26:51,740 Any sign of the duck? 742 00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:53,731 Oh, it's just coming. 743 00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:05,573 So, Uncle ted comes in with his crate of brown ale... 744 00:27:08,940 --> 00:27:10,340 ...and mother says, 745 00:27:10,340 --> 00:27:12,340 "Oh, Ted, look who's here." 746 00:27:12,340 --> 00:27:13,739 And he says... 747 00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:16,620 - Okay, Polly! - Okay! 748 00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:17,860 - Got the sauces? - Got them. 749 00:27:17,860 --> 00:27:18,849 Right! 750 00:27:19,620 --> 00:27:21,380 Ah. 751 00:27:21,380 --> 00:27:23,371 Ladies and gentlemen... 752 00:27:24,860 --> 00:27:26,851 so sorry to have kept you waiting. 753 00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:54,220 Well, uh... 754 00:27:54,220 --> 00:27:55,380 who's for trifle? 755 00:27:55,380 --> 00:27:56,780 What?! 756 00:27:56,780 --> 00:27:58,532 Trifle for you, Mrs. Hall? 757 00:27:59,540 --> 00:28:02,612 What about the duck, Fawlty? 758 00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:07,697 Duck's off, sorry. 46920

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