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SERLING: Starring tonight:
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Arte Johnson,
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00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,801
James Farentino,
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00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,530
Michele Lee,
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00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,431
Adam West,
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00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:40,901
and Jeannette Nolan.
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00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,209
For those of you
who've never met me,
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00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,147
you might call me the
undernourished Alfred Hitchcock.
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The great British craftsman and
I do share something in common.
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00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,750
An interest in the odd ball,
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00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,423
a predilection
toward the bizarre.
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00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,421
And this place is
nothing if it isn't bizarre,
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00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:03,225
by virtue of the paintings
you see hanging around me.
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00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:07,134
This item here is called
Since Aunt Ada Came to Stay.
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00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,203
And Aunt Ada is a most
memorable character.
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00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:14,438
You may not like her but I seriously
doubt if you'll ever forget her.
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00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,973
Be thankful you've met
her only in the Night Gallery.
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00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,587
Teach well, sweetie.
What time will you be back?
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00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,654
3:30. Right after
the faculty meeting.
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00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,495
I want to transplant
those roses.
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00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,876
What're you going
to do with yourself?
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Taking Aunt Ada for a ride.
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Aunt Ada, huh?
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Aunt Ada.
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00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,236
Bye.
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00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,058
Aha!
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00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,261
The ever-present
green carnation!
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00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,353
Professor Porteus.
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00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:47,026
I have every reason to believe the earth
would stand stock-still in the heavens
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00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:51,797
were our Mr. Craig Lowell to appear
on campus without his quotidian
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green carnation.
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00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,369
Yes. It's a favorite of
my wife's, Professor.
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00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,412
And a very potent
favorite it is, my boy.
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00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:01,642
In the realm of the occult, an area
which, as you may perhaps know,
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00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,810
occupies the major
portion of my leisure hours.
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00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:08,151
It is widely written
that the green carnation
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when set aflame
in the presence of...
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Professor, I do
have a class waiting.
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00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,521
Of course, my boy, of course.
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00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:16,586
Do come to my rooms some evening
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00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:20,191
when you've more time, and
we'll have a nice, long talk about it.
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00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,702
Fascinating
subject, fascinating.
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Mmm.
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Have another cup, dearie?
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Oh, Craig, come and have some of
Aunt Ada's herb tea. It's really delicious.
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How... How long have
you two been in here?
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Goodness, I don't know. Ten,
fifteen minutes, I guess. Why?
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The roses! You know
she's allergic to flowers.
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00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,310
Oh, for the love of...
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00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:51,450
All right, I forgot I had them.
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00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,824
Joanna, just how long is that
woman going to live with us?
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At ninety? Ninety, at least?
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00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,841
It's not unknown for people to
live to be a hundred, you know.
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00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,766
I don't understand why
she upsets you so much.
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00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,812
I don't know what it is. It's
just something about her.
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00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,101
Ever since she came
to live with us... What?
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00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,107
I don't know. I just
can't put my finger on it.
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00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,711
Don't fret, little fox foot.
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00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,348
It's not going to
be much longer.
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00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,536
Another tea party, ladies?
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00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,611
Joanna, it's after midnight!
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I thought you were asleep.
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That's what I thought you were.
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00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,012
Oh, honey, I couldn't.
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00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,611
I was tossing
and turning, and...
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00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,749
I was afraid it was gonna bother
you, so I got up and came down.
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00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,284
What's this stuff?
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00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:03,692
Oh! That's herbs, dearie.
Herbs to help her sleep.
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00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,991
You have herbs for everything,
haven't you, Aunt Ada?
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00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,229
Oh.
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00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:13,971
Nature wakes you.
Nature rests you.
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00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:18,201
Nature makes you.
Nature takes you.
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Could I give you a cup?
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00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,276
No, thanks. I sleep very well.
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00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:28,683
How is it you're up
so late, Aunt Ada?
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00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,020
Child, when one
reaches an age like mine,
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one sleeps only an
hour or two at night.
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00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,327
Really? How interesting.
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00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:52,040
Seaweed.
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00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,744
Seaweed?
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00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,774
Hydrodendon barelia.
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00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,546
That's its Sunday name.
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00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,085
Very common
along the coast, here.
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00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:03,715
Any pharmacological uses?
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00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,125
Inducing sleep,
anything like that?
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00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,286
No, nothing medicinal,
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00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,592
nothing poisonous,
nothing of any...
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00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:12,698
Oh!
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00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,099
What?
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00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,735
Enter folklore.
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00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:19,967
Hydrodendon barelia
is the modern name for,
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00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,702
and here I quote,
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00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,506
"the sinister witch's
weed of antiquity."
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00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:27,706
Witch's weed? What the...
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00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,115
Come on, Frank, now...
What is witch's weed?
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00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:35,320
Beats me. I'm in
chemistry, not sorcery.
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00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,560
Why don't you drop
in on Nick Porteus?
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00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,996
I'm sure he knows.
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00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,498
Nick Porteus?
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00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,468
Yeah.
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00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:55,438
Oh, my, yes,
Hydrodendon barelia.
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00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:57,937
Yes, indeed, by all means.
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Virulent, my boy,
potent, dangerous.
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00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:06,576
Handle with care... That's
what you do with witch's weed!
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00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,986
What I do? What are
witches supposed to do with it?
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00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:12,184
Granting their existence, of
course, which I don't happen to do.
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00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:15,092
Very few people do,
my boy, during the day.
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00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:20,089
But the tolling of the midnight
bell makes believers out of many.
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00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,167
Which is your subject
again, Mr. Lowell?
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00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:25,031
Logic and Scientific Method.
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00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,266
Of course.
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00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,036
And you find it hard to fit
the pentacle of Beelzebub
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00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,704
into the Aristotelian
Square of Opposition.
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00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,573
In time, though,
young man, in time.
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00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:38,117
Yes, quite. In the
meantime, Professor,
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00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,119
this so-called witch's weed...
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00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,279
Ah, yes.
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00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,914
You see, the weed is
employed by the aging witch
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00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,118
who has used up her present body
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00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,995
to facilitate her entry into
and assumption of the new,
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00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:52,928
young body that she
has chosen for herself.
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Excuse me?
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00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,100
That is how they
perpetuate themselves.
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00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:02,038
During the 12 strokes of
midnight, at the first full moon
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00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,077
following the autumn equinox.
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00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:05,975
But first...
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00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,483
First, the witch's weed must have
been administered in gradual doses
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00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,748
over a period of
roughly three weeks.
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00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:17,555
Without the preparation,
entry cannot be made.
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00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,995
Professor Porteus,
I'm very sorry,
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00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,997
but I consider this utter
nonsense. Especially...
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00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,624
And yet, young man, since
you came to this university
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I have never seen you,
never once seen you
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00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:32,997
without the one weapon in the
entire arsenal of anti-witches armament
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00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,373
that can prevent this exchange
of bodies from taking place.
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00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,346
Disbelieve, if you
will, my friend, but also,
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00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,149
do not forget.
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00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,883
Sorry to bother you, but...
139
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:53,051
I'm trying to discover the
whereabouts of a relative of my wife's.
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00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,986
My wife is very
anxious to find out if she
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00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,621
still lives in this town.
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She used to, quite
some time ago,
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00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:02,366
but I imagine she's
quite elderly by now.
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00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,496
Her name is Quigley.
Ada Burn Quigley.
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00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,365
Quigley! There you are, sir.
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00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,367
Remember the funeral
myself. Six months ago.
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00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:12,784
You saw this woman buried?
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00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,474
Yes, sir.
149
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,412
Who attended the ceremony?
150
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,643
It was all ladies. Old
as the hills they looked.
151
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:23,883
And all kind of alike, as though
it was some kind of family.
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00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,915
Who maintains the grave?
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00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:28,757
Nobody slapped down
no maintaining fee, so
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00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:31,024
that's who maintains it, nobody.
155
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:33,089
Wouldn't do no good, anyhow.
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00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,233
I don't know what those
funeral fellers shot into her, but
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00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:41,035
whatever it was, it
contained enough acid to kill...
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00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,339
Well, I'll be swingered!
159
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,810
What is it?
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00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:49,646
Nothing ever grew on that
plot after they tucked her in.
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00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:52,208
Not a grass, not a
dandelion, not a bud!
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00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,254
Nothing but raw, grey dirt!
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00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:31,417
I think it is entirely logical
I may be going mad.
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00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,931
Oh, lovey.
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00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,501
She has gone marketing.
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00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,900
She said she'd be
back in a twinkle.
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00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,242
I've just been the
30 miles to Bakerton.
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00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,482
Oh.
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00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,343
And what did you see there?
170
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,087
A grave.
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00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,325
Great Aunt Ada Quigley's grave.
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00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,796
Beautiful place.
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00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,430
Yes! Restful.
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00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,202
Very.
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00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:20,363
And I've no reason to believe
it is not presently occupied
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00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,885
by the person whose name is
inscribed on the headstone above it.
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00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,539
Therefore, I ask you this
question, Madam. Who are you?
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00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,113
Why...
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00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,783
You've seen my picture
in the family album.
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00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:34,480
Joanna showed it to you.
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00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,588
I've seen a fuzzy snapshot
taken 40 years ago
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00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,785
of a middle-aged woman
Joanna identifies as you.
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00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:42,192
And you concur in
that identification.
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00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,275
Now, if you are, in
fact, the Great Aunt Ada
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00:12:44,299 --> 00:12:46,290
Quigley whose picture
appears in the album,
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00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:50,560
you are also the Great Aunt Ada Quigley
who's buried in the graveyard at Bakerton!
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00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,337
If you are not one,
you are not the other!
188
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,937
And as you are standing
before me this very moment
189
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,376
you are clearly not in
your grave at Bakerton.
190
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:02,739
And if you are not in your grave, you
are neither in the photograph album.
191
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:07,479
So I repeat, madam, who are you?
192
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,546
Why are you here?
193
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,588
What are you after?
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00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:13,457
I will have an answer!
195
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,944
Well, been having a nice
chat while I've been gone?
196
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,715
Yes, this is Craig
Lowell speaking.
197
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,309
Could you connect me with
Professor Porteus, please?
198
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,649
Professor? Professor!
199
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,460
Yes? CRAIG: Professor
Porteus, please.
200
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,160
This is his housekeeper!
201
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,966
I think it might be a stroke! Please! I
must get him to the hospital at once!
202
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,966
A stroke?
203
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,957
Darling?
204
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:31,062
Mmm-hmm.
205
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,966
You'll dig your grave
if you dig any harder.
206
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,966
Joanna, I want to talk to you.
207
00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,725
You don't have to,
because I know what you
208
00:15:38,749 --> 00:15:40,666
want to say, and it isn't
necessary any longer.
209
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,231
What are you talking about?
210
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,037
Aunt Ada upsets you, and
you want her to leave, right?
211
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,111
Right.
212
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:49,847
Well, she is leaving.
She just told me.
213
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,211
She told you that? When?
214
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,013
Is she leaving? The day after
tomorrow. She's applied to
215
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:57,648
an old folks' home up the coast
somewhere, and they've accepted her.
216
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,093
The day after tomorrow?
217
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,139
Today's the 21st.
218
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,834
First day of Autumn.
219
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,469
During the 12 strokes of
midnight, at the first full moon
220
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:21,036
following the autumn equinox.
221
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:36,259
The full moon's on the
23rd. The day after tomorrow.
222
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:45,098
Craig? That hurts!
223
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,171
One favor!
224
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:47,830
Just one.
225
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,637
Anything! But honey, please!
226
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:53,737
From this second, until midnight,
the last stroke of midnight,
227
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,805
on the 23rd... What?
228
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,246
Never let me out of your sight!
229
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,847
Craig, you're
frightening me to death!
230
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:05,081
No, I'm fighting
to keep you alive!
231
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:30,544
So...
232
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,052
Aunt Ada...
233
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,413
Locked doors present
a problem even to you.
234
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,994
Why would you try to get in?
You knew you couldn't get past me.
235
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:49,100
Have a nice cup
of tea, my darling...
236
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,366
No! Out! Get out!
237
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,027
Yes?
238
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,800
Telegram for Mr. Craig Lowell.
239
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,704
That's me. Thank you.
240
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,012
What is it?
241
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:40,150
It's from Ben Snyder. He's been called
out of town. Some family problem, it says.
242
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,618
Wants me to take
his class tonight.
243
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,491
Well, why didn't he call me?
244
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:48,552
Why wait until the
last minute and...
245
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:51,997
Uh-uh.
246
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,025
Well, it won't work!
247
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,399
What are you doing? Sit down.
248
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,907
I'm ringing up the college,
saying I can't make it.
249
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,700
But you can make it. We're
not doing anything this evening.
250
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,405
I am not leaving
this house tonight!
251
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,248
Philosophy Department, please.
252
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,945
Craig, it's an emergency.
There are other people!
253
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,282
Yes, I'll wait.
254
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,985
Ben needs you! Craig!
255
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,590
Ben got you your
professorship here!
256
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,459
He's one of your closest friends,
you can't just turn him down!
257
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,263
Why are you acting this way?
258
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,135
All right.
259
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:32,270
All right.
260
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,464
I'm going to try to
tell you in an orderly,
261
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,169
logical, unemotional manner,
262
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,679
exactly what is
going on in this house.
263
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:44,342
And why I cannot oblige my
very good friend Professor Snyder
264
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,080
who may be having a
family problem of his own.
265
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,823
But whatever it
is, it can only prove
266
00:19:48,847 --> 00:19:51,090
insignificant to the family
problem we're having!
267
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:52,853
What are you talking about?
268
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,896
That woman is not
your Great Aunt Ada!
269
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,396
That woman
270
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:01,793
is a witch.
271
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,132
And she's at least
a thousand years old
272
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,696
and she stays alive by finding
young bodies and inhabiting them.
273
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,506
And at midnight tonight, she's
planning on inhabiting your body.
274
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:16,445
And unless I'm around to prevent
her, she'll probably get away with it.
275
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:19,075
You've gone mad!
276
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:22,815
That is precisely the reaction I would have
if I'd just been told what I've told you.
277
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,484
But it happens to be the truth!
278
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,686
They're going to have to
come and take you away!
279
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,955
Well, I'm sure I've just given you
ample grounds to have me committed.
280
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,728
And if I were in your place,
I'd seriously consider it, but,
281
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,134
until that clock out there
finishes striking 12:00 tonight,
282
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:40,165
I am not leaving your side.
283
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:44,040
After that, you can take whatever
action against me you feel necessary.
284
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:46,311
Craig...
285
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,671
Can you prove any of this?
286
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,776
Only by letting it occur and I
have no intention of doing that.
287
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,115
But you actually mean it.
288
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,745
I'm convinced of it, darling!
289
00:20:56,889 --> 00:21:00,155
Enough to phone the college and tell
them you can't take Ben's class tonight
290
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,694
because you have
to stay home with me
291
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,993
to keep my Aunt Ada from
turning me into a witch?
292
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:10,197
If I must, in order to show
you how serious I am.
293
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:15,973
No.
294
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,567
I don't want to have to wait
for visiting hours to see you.
295
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,976
Take Ben's class
tonight. I'll go with you.
296
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:24,479
You can discuss your Square of Opposition
and keep an eye on me at the same time.
297
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,678
Now, is there anything
wrong with that?
298
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:34,389
That would never
have occurred to me.
299
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,162
Of course not.
300
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:45,566
It's much too simple for
that logical mind of yours.
301
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:49,174
All right?
302
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:54,341
In sub-alternation obtaining between
a universal and a particular affirmative.
303
00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:59,151
Now we come to an examination of
the Aristotelian Square of Opposition.
304
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:24,377
Let "A" represent the
universal affirmative,
305
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,704
and "E" the universal
negative, here at the top.
306
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:32,343
Now, down at the bottom, the letter
"I" represents the particular affirmative,
307
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:34,847
"O" the particular negative.
308
00:22:37,389 --> 00:22:41,622
In sub-alternation obtaining between
a universal and a particular affirmative
309
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:44,892
or between a universal
and a particular negative,
310
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:47,296
where the difference
is one of 20 only.
311
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,667
Gods of Acheron be propitious.
312
00:22:57,743 --> 00:23:00,372
Jove and Jehovah,
hear our wishes.
313
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:05,441
Chief of the East, Beelzebub
trust, come to this body.
314
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:08,749
Soon powder and rust.
315
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:16,956
Chief of the East, Beelzebub
trust, come to this body.
316
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:20,060
Soon powder and rust.
317
00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:24,133
That body of youth,
that body of lust.
318
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:27,469
That body of bodies
to live in, I must!
319
00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:31,610
Inhabit at midnight!
320
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,577
To live in, I must!
321
00:23:34,813 --> 00:23:38,215
Inhabit at midnight!
322
00:23:38,717 --> 00:23:41,209
Make ready, prepare!
323
00:23:42,388 --> 00:23:45,722
Mephisto, the spirits!
324
00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:49,791
Mephisto, the spirits!
325
00:23:49,862 --> 00:23:50,989
The spirits!
326
00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:54,091
Fire, water and air!
327
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,759
The square of opposition...
328
00:23:58,737 --> 00:24:03,835
Again, represented by the letters
"A", "E", "I" and "O" respectively.
329
00:24:05,144 --> 00:24:07,255
And before going any
further let us establish
330
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,081
that these are
arbitrary designations,
331
00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:12,585
except for the fact that they've been
around a lot longer than any of us here.
332
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:16,713
They might well be
called "A", "B", "C" and "D".
333
00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:40,906
Test their validity.
334
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,882
For this purpose we
will take the proposition,
335
00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:46,043
"All republics are ungrateful."
336
00:25:20,419 --> 00:25:22,888
Now, if we accept the
proposition that all...
337
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,274
Aunt Ada?
338
00:25:49,014 --> 00:25:51,279
Right here, lovey.
339
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:54,987
I've been waiting for you.
340
00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:59,157
Just the last little mouthful.
341
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:02,687
That's all that's needed now.
342
00:26:03,929 --> 00:26:04,929
Mmm?
343
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:10,563
Just the littlest
sip will do the trick.
344
00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:13,839
And then you'll be
mine, my blessed,
345
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,398
when the midnight tolls.
346
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:21,236
Come on. Come on.
347
00:26:35,494 --> 00:26:38,658
Don't fight it, little cuddly.
348
00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:42,766
Soon it'll be the gentle winds
349
00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:45,461
and the cool sea.
350
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:49,431
The soft white cloud forever.
351
00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:50,771
Craig...
352
00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:54,905
Oh, don't clutter your
head with him, little rumples,
353
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:57,345
we won't be needing him anymore.
354
00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:48,232
Joanna!
355
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:54,837
Joanna!
356
00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:03,513
Joanna?
357
00:28:23,302 --> 00:28:26,329
You're too late, silkywhistle.
358
00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:28,168
She's mine now!
359
00:28:28,674 --> 00:28:30,472
You're not getting past me!
360
00:28:30,576 --> 00:28:31,839
Oh...
361
00:28:31,910 --> 00:28:33,378
Wait!
362
00:28:53,865 --> 00:28:54,865
No!
363
00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:57,025
Disbelieve if you
will, my friend.
364
00:28:57,135 --> 00:28:58,603
But also, do not forget!
365
00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:02,402
The only weapon in the entire
arsenal of anti-witching armament.
366
00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:05,444
Only the green
carnation, when set aflame
367
00:29:05,510 --> 00:29:07,103
in the presence of...
368
00:30:18,517 --> 00:30:19,883
Joanna...
369
00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:24,320
My love, my darling!
370
00:30:25,924 --> 00:30:26,924
Oh.
371
00:30:32,064 --> 00:30:33,555
Teach well, sweetie.
372
00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:35,895
See you at 3:00.
373
00:30:35,967 --> 00:30:37,492
Okay. Bye-Bye
374
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:57,109
Master. What do
you think, Master?
375
00:33:06,551 --> 00:33:10,852
If I told you once, I've
told you a hundred times.
376
00:33:11,690 --> 00:33:14,990
Go easy on the vermouth!
377
00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:20,162
We refer to him
by different names.
378
00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:23,264
Lucifer, Mephistopheles,
Beelzebub.
379
00:33:23,869 --> 00:33:27,306
But by any other name,
he'd smell of brimstone.
380
00:33:27,706 --> 00:33:30,540
These are the ingredients
to a one-man stew.
381
00:33:30,909 --> 00:33:32,969
A disc jockey, a radio show,
382
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:36,615
and a painting we call,
The Flip-Side of Satan.
383
00:34:32,037 --> 00:34:33,938
Who's better than J.J.?
384
00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:48,451
When J.J. makes the scene...
385
00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:01,658
Can the good
sounds be far behind?
386
00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:32,430
"The main switch, three
minutes before air time.
387
00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:34,159
"Programming Plan.
388
00:35:34,532 --> 00:35:37,058
"Absolutely no variations."
389
00:35:43,508 --> 00:35:45,875
J.J. Wilson, programmed.
390
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:12,895
Five thousand watts.
391
00:36:19,310 --> 00:36:21,575
On a clear day you can
hear across the street.
392
00:37:17,836 --> 00:37:20,396
Who's better than J.J.?
393
00:37:29,514 --> 00:37:32,416
J. J. Wilson.
394
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:35,886
J. J. Wilson.
395
00:37:36,621 --> 00:37:39,318
J. J. Wilson.
396
00:37:40,058 --> 00:37:42,755
J. J. Wilson.
397
00:37:43,528 --> 00:37:45,929
J. J. Wilson.
398
00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:56,371
And that's me. Alive
and well on KAPH.
399
00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:58,808
Or as the owl said
to the pussycat,
400
00:37:58,910 --> 00:38:01,175
"Whoo! Whoo!"
401
00:38:04,415 --> 00:38:06,975
If that's any indication
of what my show's like...
402
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:13,823
Just putting you on. Because
over the next six hours
403
00:38:13,925 --> 00:38:15,485
you're going to hear
the sounds of now.
404
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,859
Sounds to blow your
mind and do your thing by,
405
00:38:17,929 --> 00:38:19,454
sounds like...
406
00:38:23,101 --> 00:38:25,627
only J.J. can play.
407
00:38:25,703 --> 00:38:27,433
Your kind of music, I know.
408
00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:30,168
From midnight to
dawn, I picked it out.
409
00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:05,736
Sid? J.J.
410
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,571
You happen to have
the right time on you?
411
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,748
Coming West I had to set
my watch back 200 years.
412
00:39:12,984 --> 00:39:15,010
Me? Complain?
413
00:39:15,286 --> 00:39:18,620
Let me tell you something, Sid.
Complainers are the old maids of the world.
414
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:21,001
They know what they want
but they don't know how to get it.
415
00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:23,017
Besides, what's there
to complain about?
416
00:39:23,628 --> 00:39:26,188
You ever seen Station KAPH?
417
00:39:26,764 --> 00:39:29,632
Let me tell you, Sidney,
it's something else.
418
00:39:30,802 --> 00:39:35,001
Modern? Yeah, I guess
you could say that but, uh...
419
00:39:35,073 --> 00:39:37,508
I think nostalgic
would be more fitting.
420
00:39:37,575 --> 00:39:41,342
What I mean is, to Ben
Franklin it might be modern but...
421
00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:44,138
Oh, come on, Sidney.
Isn't that what I am saying?
422
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:45,877
It's all relative.
423
00:39:45,950 --> 00:39:48,181
Besides, nostalgia is in.
424
00:39:48,253 --> 00:39:50,586
Hey, take a listen
to this music.
425
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,489
Heavy, huh?
426
00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:57,859
That's just to grab 'em.
427
00:39:57,929 --> 00:40:01,388
You wait till the word gets around
town that J.J.'s doing his thing.
428
00:40:01,466 --> 00:40:04,630
The other jocks will be fighting
for seats on the next stage out.
429
00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:06,298
Bitter?
430
00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:09,939
Who said agents
aren't very bright?
431
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:12,908
Sid, what kind of
one-tube station
432
00:40:12,977 --> 00:40:15,879
only broadcasts from
midnight to 6:00 in the morning?
433
00:40:15,947 --> 00:40:17,882
The Voice of Insomnia?
434
00:40:18,283 --> 00:40:21,219
What are you trying to do
to me, Sid, ruin my career?
435
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:26,084
I'll tell you what career!
436
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:30,161
The career that's put your amorphous frame
behind the wheel of a new car every year.
437
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:32,363
That helped to build
that house on the island,
438
00:40:32,597 --> 00:40:35,567
and kept Emily from going
bananas much sooner than she did!
439
00:40:35,633 --> 00:40:36,965
That's what car...
440
00:40:39,404 --> 00:40:41,284
What? What're
you... What're you...
441
00:40:41,806 --> 00:40:43,934
Oh, now I get it.
442
00:40:44,575 --> 00:40:48,273
It took a while, Sid, for that light
bulb over my head to turn on, but...
443
00:40:50,148 --> 00:40:52,777
You thought Emily
and me were having...
444
00:40:52,917 --> 00:40:54,510
Mmm-hmm. Good.
445
00:40:54,652 --> 00:40:57,588
And that's why you arranged
this gig for me in Lower Slobbovia.
446
00:40:59,857 --> 00:41:01,519
Sid, I'm surprised at you.
447
00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:05,025
Emily was your wife. I always
considered myself your best friend.
448
00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:08,759
Those weekends I went away,
it was fishing with Burt Fox.
449
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,695
If Emily happened to be away at the
same time it was just a coincidence.
450
00:41:12,770 --> 00:41:14,636
And you check
with Burt if you want.
451
00:41:16,574 --> 00:41:17,633
Sid...
452
00:41:17,709 --> 00:41:21,703
Let's not plant weeds on Emily's
grave. She loved you very much.
453
00:41:21,813 --> 00:41:24,339
You could see it in her
face when she looked at you.
454
00:41:24,549 --> 00:41:27,542
And believe me, Sid, no matter
what anyone says, it was an accident.
455
00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:30,280
Emily had too much to live for.
456
00:41:30,355 --> 00:41:32,722
Well, you... You
know what I mean.
457
00:41:35,126 --> 00:41:38,187
Sid, let me get in touch
with you later and...
458
00:41:38,663 --> 00:41:41,827
Look, I'm sorry about
those things I said.
459
00:41:43,735 --> 00:41:46,204
That's right, Sid.
Who's better than us?
460
00:41:57,982 --> 00:41:59,450
Well, if that doesn't
blow your mind
461
00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:02,715
then I'm beginning to wonder what
fills up that space between my ears.
462
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:06,753
Or as the pilot said before taking
off this afternoon from Fun City,
463
00:42:06,824 --> 00:42:10,124
"J.J., I'm gonna be
flying at 30,000 feet.
464
00:42:10,261 --> 00:42:13,663
"You fly any higher than
that and you're on your own."
465
00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:22,837
And wait till you hear what's
coming to you next on KAPH.
466
00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:25,403
The J. J. Wilson Show!
467
00:42:31,315 --> 00:42:33,341
No, you groovy cats out there.
468
00:42:33,951 --> 00:42:35,351
You tell me.
469
00:42:45,463 --> 00:42:48,729
And I thought we were
way out in Gotham City.
470
00:43:10,054 --> 00:43:11,886
Burt? J.J.
471
00:43:12,557 --> 00:43:15,356
Look, I hope I didn't wake you.
472
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,191
Yeah, I figured you'd
just be getting in.
473
00:43:19,564 --> 00:43:20,564
By yourself?
474
00:43:25,803 --> 00:43:27,169
You're too much, Burt.
475
00:43:27,238 --> 00:43:30,299
Listen, I won't keep you
long. I got a little favor to ask.
476
00:43:30,775 --> 00:43:33,720
Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't
want my friends to know I was leaving
477
00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:36,942
because I didn't want them to go to
the trouble for having a party for me.
478
00:43:37,014 --> 00:43:39,506
I figured once I
got settled here...
479
00:43:40,618 --> 00:43:43,554
No, it had nothing to do
with the money I owe you.
480
00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:46,750
The name of J.J. Wilson is written
on every one of those markers.
481
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:52,153
What's it like here?
482
00:43:53,564 --> 00:43:56,159
It's a whole different
way of life, Burt.
483
00:43:56,234 --> 00:43:59,466
People are friendly. They
can't do enough for you.
484
00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:01,665
Like, you take when my
plane landed this afternoon.
485
00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:03,105
Are you ready for this?
486
00:44:03,174 --> 00:44:07,270
A member of the Chamber of
Commerce was waiting to meet me
487
00:44:07,345 --> 00:44:09,473
at the airport with a limo.
488
00:44:11,782 --> 00:44:14,115
My car? I gave it
to my kid nephew.
489
00:44:15,253 --> 00:44:16,846
What's so funny?
490
00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:20,989
Yeah, Burt, I had a
mother like everyone else.
491
00:44:33,471 --> 00:44:34,905
About that favor...
492
00:44:35,439 --> 00:44:36,668
I talked to Sidney
493
00:44:36,807 --> 00:44:40,642
and somehow he got the idea that Emily
and I were seeing each other before...
494
00:44:41,078 --> 00:44:45,038
Well, you know, before she tried making
a Greek tragedy out of her suburban life.
495
00:44:46,717 --> 00:44:48,982
You didn't tell him
anything, did you?
496
00:44:49,654 --> 00:44:51,282
No, of course I trust you.
497
00:44:51,989 --> 00:44:55,448
Yeah, but just in
case he gets in touch...
498
00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:57,754
Remember about
the weekends fishing?
499
00:45:00,264 --> 00:45:01,493
That's right.
500
00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:05,131
Just you and me, and
a bunch of smelly trout.
501
00:45:07,071 --> 00:45:08,664
Who said I was afraid of him?
502
00:45:09,407 --> 00:45:12,468
I just don't like hurting
people, Burt. You know that.
503
00:45:13,044 --> 00:45:15,639
Besides, Sidney's
been like a father to me.
504
00:45:15,746 --> 00:45:19,979
I like to think I kept Emily from doing
what she was destined to do much sooner.
505
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:24,783
That's right, Burt.
506
00:45:25,656 --> 00:45:27,591
Who's better than J.J.?
507
00:45:53,618 --> 00:45:55,211
I conjure thee.
508
00:45:56,587 --> 00:46:01,457
Spirits of darkness, I summon
thee from the regions of Hell.
509
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:06,422
Lucifer, Ouyar, Chameron,
510
00:46:06,998 --> 00:46:11,163
Aliseon, Mandousin, Premy,
511
00:46:11,869 --> 00:46:13,132
Masago,
512
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:16,400
Gamigin, Marbas...
513
00:46:16,674 --> 00:46:18,700
These hayseeds have
some sense of humor.
514
00:46:18,776 --> 00:46:19,776
Borax,
515
00:46:20,411 --> 00:46:21,606
Oriet,
516
00:46:22,046 --> 00:46:24,743
Naydrus, Esmony...
517
00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:26,850
They even got somebody
to imitate my voice.
518
00:46:26,917 --> 00:46:28,613
Barbatos,
519
00:46:28,686 --> 00:46:31,656
Hayras, Fabelleronthon,
520
00:46:31,822 --> 00:46:33,552
Sodirnot.
521
00:46:33,858 --> 00:46:36,851
Lucifer, come unto me.
522
00:46:38,262 --> 00:46:41,926
Wow, heavy, heavy! Hey, let me
clue you in on what's happening.
523
00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:45,698
There's an old custom among boss-jocks
that when a new deejay joins the station,
524
00:46:45,770 --> 00:46:48,706
the other deejays try to
put one over on him. Dig?
525
00:46:49,073 --> 00:46:51,304
It's their way of making
him feel at home.
526
00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:54,573
Well, let me tell you
something, you've succeeded.
527
00:46:54,979 --> 00:46:58,108
You know, I just
finished a 15-year gig
528
00:46:58,182 --> 00:47:00,481
in the big apple
itself, New York City.
529
00:47:00,551 --> 00:47:03,419
I mean, I was top jock
and no one could touch me,
530
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,353
but I left it all to
come here. Why?
531
00:47:05,956 --> 00:47:09,085
To be reborn on KAPH,
532
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,391
and to meet people like you.
533
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:16,631
Hey, groove on this, Who's
better than J.J.? His listeners!
534
00:47:17,234 --> 00:47:19,396
Now! Dig J.J.'s sounds.
535
00:47:19,970 --> 00:47:21,802
The latest from The Karmas,
536
00:47:22,406 --> 00:47:23,806
Good Vibes.
537
00:47:26,911 --> 00:47:28,402
O Lucifer,
538
00:47:28,479 --> 00:47:32,109
the condemned has entered into the
crucible from which there is no escape.
539
00:47:33,818 --> 00:47:37,880
Paimon, Buer, Gusion...
540
00:47:38,322 --> 00:47:40,348
A joke is a joke is a joke.
541
00:47:40,491 --> 00:47:44,553
Sitri, Beleth, Leraje...
542
00:47:44,662 --> 00:47:48,326
All right, fellow deejays, you can
come in with the champagne now!
543
00:47:48,399 --> 00:47:52,336
Eligos, Zepar, Iliops,
544
00:47:52,503 --> 00:47:53,698
Surprise!
545
00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:03,340
Hey, what's going on here?
546
00:48:03,414 --> 00:48:05,092
Who do you hayseeds
think you're dealing with?
547
00:48:05,116 --> 00:48:09,611
O Monarch of all Demons, the
condemned has moved closer to your arms...
548
00:48:09,987 --> 00:48:11,182
What condemned?
549
00:48:11,255 --> 00:48:13,121
Closer to the final embrace...
550
00:48:13,190 --> 00:48:15,523
That's some
joke! I really dig it!
551
00:48:15,593 --> 00:48:16,593
Very funny.
552
00:48:21,132 --> 00:48:22,132
Operator...
553
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,961
What do you mean I dialed
a disconnected number?
554
00:48:26,036 --> 00:48:27,698
I dialed the operator!
555
00:48:31,876 --> 00:48:33,811
How can the operator
be a recording?
556
00:48:34,745 --> 00:48:37,874
The Prince of Darkness
will receive the condemned...
557
00:48:38,382 --> 00:48:40,112
So much for the
Prince of Darkness.
558
00:48:43,354 --> 00:48:46,066
I don't know what the scene is
like out there, but it's wild in here.
559
00:48:46,090 --> 00:48:47,850
That's why I want you
to listen real close...
560
00:48:54,432 --> 00:48:58,392
All have been summoned to
witness the sacrifice of the condemned.
561
00:49:01,238 --> 00:49:05,073
"September 4, 1959
to September 4, 1959.
562
00:49:05,176 --> 00:49:08,476
"May 5th, 1968 to May 5th, 1968!
563
00:49:08,579 --> 00:49:11,606
"October 3rd, 1970
to October 3rd 1970!"
564
00:49:11,682 --> 00:49:15,915
The condemned will humble
himself before the altar of sacrifice.
565
00:49:16,187 --> 00:49:18,884
I will never humble myself!
566
00:49:19,056 --> 00:49:22,584
The arms of Lucifer prepare
to embrace the condemned.
567
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,251
The arms of Lucifer?
568
00:49:24,929 --> 00:49:26,921
I fought the judges
of New York City!
569
00:49:26,997 --> 00:49:28,488
And I won!
570
00:49:28,599 --> 00:49:31,398
The sacrifice must
be carried out, now!
571
00:49:32,269 --> 00:49:35,364
Because I'm J.J. Wilson!
572
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,604
And who's better than, J...43768
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