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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,257 -♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -NARRATOR: Tonight, on a very special 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,302 season finale episode of Clone High. 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,387 It's an epic tale of good and evil. 4 00:00:11,471 --> 00:00:13,014 Will love conquer all? 5 00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:15,475 Or will the forces of darkness win the day? 6 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,185 The future lies in the balance... 7 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:18,853 -(SCREAMING) -...as the clones embark 8 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:22,690 on an unforgettable journey into a realm we call 9 00:00:22,732 --> 00:00:24,358 summer vacation. 10 00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:27,487 That's right, it's a hot clone summer, y'all! 11 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,239 May God have mercy on their souls. 12 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:33,409 (SHOUTING) Scudworth! 13 00:00:33,493 --> 00:00:35,078 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 14 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,205 -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -PRINCIPAL SCUDWORTH: Since the beginnith of time, 15 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,165 history has captured the hopes and dreams 16 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,917 of hopers and dreamers everywhere. 17 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,544 But what if you could do more than just read about history 18 00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:45,088 -in an old smelly book? -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 19 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,590 Gee, mister. That sounds swell! 20 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,051 Why do these old books smell so bad? 21 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:52,553 SCUDWORTH: All right. (CHUCKLES) That's not your line. 22 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,305 You can't just say stuff you're thinking. 23 00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:56,682 Okay, well, it is swell, Billy! 24 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,811 Cloney Island is the place where history comes alive. 25 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,437 ♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 26 00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,314 Dammit, Mr. B, keep up! 27 00:01:03,398 --> 00:01:04,481 Where else can you take selfies 28 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,067 with groundbreaking historical figures 29 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,860 in their naturally glass-enclosed habitats? 30 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,028 -(CROWD GASPS) -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 31 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,072 You'll want to ride Lincoln's Log Flume 32 00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,074 -fourscore times. -(BOTH CHEER) 33 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,075 (LOUD THUD) 34 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,451 Go "underground" on Harriet Tubman's 35 00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:18,162 tub-bumping Bumper Tubs. 36 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,415 Shouldn't it be an underground railroad ride? 37 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,582 SCUDWORTH: Maybe when you get your own theme park, Sarah! 38 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:26,254 Experience a brush with death on Frida Kahlo's Brow-Boggan. 39 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,755 RIDER: (SCREAMS) Oh, my God! 40 00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:30,091 So it isn't even an art-themed ride? 41 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:32,510 SCUDWORTH: (SIGHS) We have to recast this girl. 42 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,471 And don't forget to obtain the wisdom of Confucius 43 00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:38,391 with the purchase of these tasteful souvenirs. 44 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:41,102 And every night, we'll have a fireworks display. 45 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:44,063 It'll be hot, smoky history blown in your face! 46 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,232 -(CROWD CHEERING) -So come to Cloney Island, 47 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,609 where history will be blown in your face! 48 00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:49,777 MR. BUTLERTON: Why does everything 49 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,320 have to be blown in your face? 50 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,905 SCUDWORTH: I'm sorry, were you up writing 51 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:53,948 until 2:00 a.m. in the morning? 52 00:01:54,574 --> 00:01:56,200 How cool is that? Yeah? 53 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,619 Wait, Cloney Island is real? 54 00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,580 And you're all going to be working there. 55 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,082 It's the summer job of a lifetime! 56 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,043 That's why you put us on a submarine? 57 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,294 (DOLPHIN CHIRPS) 58 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:09,004 And the submarine is the school? 59 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,048 Random. 60 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,050 I assure you, it isn't random in the least. 61 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,219 In fact, it's the whole reason I put you on this Earth. 62 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,972 A chance to step into the shoes of your clone parents 63 00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,600 and fulfill your destinies as theme park attractions! 64 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,601 -What? No, thank you. -What? 65 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:22,852 -Still sounds very random. -Is he serious? 66 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,021 -(CLONES WHIMPER) -(GASPS) We've arrived! 67 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:26,564 (SONAR BEEPING) 68 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,775 SCUDWORTH: Prepare to be impressed 69 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:29,901 in a moment... 70 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,779 when we get to the surface. 71 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,572 Mr. B, maybe pick it up a little. 72 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,699 -(CLONES SCREAM) -SCUDWORTH: Jesus, Mr. B! 73 00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:38,159 MR. B: Oopsie doodle. 74 00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,829 Welcome to Cloney Island. 75 00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,831 ♪ (EPIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 76 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,546 (SCREAMS) 77 00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:51,923 (SCREAMS) 78 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:53,549 ♪ ("CLONE HIGH THEME SONG" BY ABANDONED POOLS PLAYING) ♪ 79 00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:55,009 ♪ Way, way back in the 1980s ♪ 80 00:02:55,051 --> 00:03:00,723 ♪ Secret government employees Dug up famous guys and ladies ♪ 81 00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:03,601 ♪ And made amusing Genetic copies ♪ 82 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,521 ♪ Then the clones As teens were frozen ♪ 83 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,524 ♪ Thawed out decades later Why? ♪ 84 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:12,443 ♪ Back for reasons They're not disclosin' ♪ 85 00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:18,658 ♪ Giving high school Another try ♪ 86 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:24,539 ♪ It's time To watch Clone High ♪ 87 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:30,753 ♪ Energetic and engaging Clone High ♪ 88 00:03:30,837 --> 00:03:37,259 ♪ Our angst is entertaining Clone High ♪ 89 00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:40,680 ♪ (THEME SONG CONCLUDES) ♪ 90 00:03:41,556 --> 00:03:42,557 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 91 00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:43,725 -ABE LINCOLN: Whoa! -CONFUCIUS: Whoa-ho. 92 00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:45,393 -(JOAN OF ARC GASPS) -SCUDWORTH: Soak it all in, clones! 93 00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:46,811 -(CROWD CHEERS) -SCUDWORTH: Your fun island 94 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,771 working vacation is about to begin. 95 00:03:48,855 --> 00:03:50,898 -Now, any softball questions? -(LAUGHS) 96 00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,442 HARRIET TUBMAN: Do our foster parents know about this? 97 00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:53,818 JOAN: How much are we getting paid? 98 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,403 -JFK: Are the dorms co-ed? -CONFUCIUS: What's the Wi-Fi password? 99 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,654 ABE: The other clones are already here? 100 00:03:56,738 --> 00:03:58,114 The answer to all of that is yes! 101 00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:00,408 -The Wi-Fi password is "yes"? -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 102 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:01,743 -(CELL PHONE DINGS) -It is now. 103 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,911 Frida, if we're gonna be here all summer, 104 00:04:03,953 --> 00:04:05,913 there's a good chance I'm gonna meet someone. 105 00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:08,082 I just wanna be upfront with you about that. 106 00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,460 Hey, I get it. I mean, I'll be out there, too. 107 00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:13,254 So let me know if I should keep my stuff on the low. 108 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,590 Oh, my God, please. I'm fine with it. 109 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,466 Probably more fine with it than you. 110 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:18,925 (CHUCKLES) Well, I doubt it, 111 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:22,388 -'cause I'm pretty fine with it. -Well, it's not a competition. 112 00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:26,059 More fine with it than you! 113 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,062 I was supposed to intern with Shonda Rhimes this summer. 114 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,481 This completely derails my 50-year plan. 115 00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,357 We're on a tropical island! 116 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:35,401 You gotta relax and live in the moment. 117 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:37,445 I'm not like you. I can't just sit back 118 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:38,946 and take whatever life gives me. 119 00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,323 Well, when you look like this, 120 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,575 life usually gives you pretty good stuff. 121 00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:45,661 FYI, there's nothing less attractive than a shallow himbo 122 00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,080 -bragging about how hot-- -(JFK SNORING) 123 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,956 And he's sleeping. 124 00:04:48,998 --> 00:04:51,918 Babe, if people are expecting me to be like the real Confucius, 125 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,461 they're gonna be so let down. 126 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:56,005 I have abs, but I'm not wise at all. 127 00:04:56,089 --> 00:04:57,799 Hey, it's just a summer job. 128 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,425 Summer jobs are supposed to be fun. 129 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,718 Back me up here, Abe. 130 00:05:00,802 --> 00:05:02,428 Oh, yeah. Joan and I have been paired up 131 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,805 for tons of summer jobs. 132 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,640 Camp counselor, ice cream scooper... 133 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,892 Lifeguard, and, of course... 134 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,811 BOTH: Slaughterhouse cleaners! 135 00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,646 (BOTH LAUGH) 136 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:14,482 I have no idea why we're laughing at that. (SIGHS) 137 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:15,775 Yeah, okay. 138 00:05:15,817 --> 00:05:18,861 Babe, even if the job sucks, which it won't, 139 00:05:18,945 --> 00:05:21,197 we get to spend the summer together. 140 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,949 -That's true. -SCUDWORTH: You wish. 141 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:25,493 Each of you will be stationed in theme zones corresponding 142 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,578 to your clone parents. Abe and Joan, 143 00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:29,288 -you're in Leader Lagoon. -(BOTH GASP) 144 00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:31,332 Cleo and JFK, Historical Hotties. 145 00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,500 -Mm-hmm. -Makes sense. 146 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,502 Frida and Harriet, Iconoclast Island. 147 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,629 And last but not least, Confucius, 148 00:05:36,671 --> 00:05:38,256 way up on Sage Summit. 149 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,383 (BIRD SQUAWKS) 150 00:05:40,466 --> 00:05:42,218 I have to go up there all by myself? 151 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,595 SCUDWORTH: Worse! You get Nostradamus. 152 00:05:44,679 --> 00:05:45,930 Yeah, I knew that already. 153 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,099 I could've said it, but I didn't feel like it. 154 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,309 So, you'll be hanging out with Abe, 155 00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:52,895 while I'm literally gonna be on top of that mountain? 156 00:05:52,979 --> 00:05:55,273 Don't worry, I promise I won't get her too wet. 157 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,150 -What? -On my flume ride! 158 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,735 So glad I brought my ponchos. 159 00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:00,528 They're not the waterproof kind, but still. 160 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,530 Well, we'll be working during the day anyway, 161 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:05,241 what matters is that we get to hang out at night. 162 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:08,202 And during breaks, we can talk on the phone. 163 00:06:08,244 --> 00:06:10,163 Right. Hey, where is my phone? 164 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,664 SCUDWORTH: Mr. B took all of your phones 165 00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:13,458 when you were watching the promo video. 166 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,251 They're not historically accurate. 167 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:16,711 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 168 00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:18,337 -How could this get worse? -Without my phone, I'll starve! 169 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,465 Now, if anyone needs to have a huge conversation 170 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,008 with a friend or lover, 171 00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:23,801 you have 30 seconds before you're launched 172 00:06:23,885 --> 00:06:25,845 into your respective lands where you will remain 173 00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:27,764 -for the duration of your stay. -This isn't right! 174 00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:29,891 -Did we sign anything? -I need a lawyer. 175 00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,435 It's time to become who you were always meant to be. 176 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,145 Time to embrace your destiny. 177 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:35,772 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -He's not actually gonna launch us. 178 00:06:35,855 --> 00:06:37,398 -Oh, he's launching us. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 179 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,108 -(BUZZER SOUNDS) -(FRIDA KAHLO SCREAMS) 180 00:06:39,192 --> 00:06:43,279 -(CLONES SCREAM) -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 181 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,989 -Joan! -Confucius! 182 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,200 -Frida! -Cleo! 183 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:52,580 -(CLONES SCREAM, GRUNT) -JFK: What's happening? 184 00:06:52,622 --> 00:06:55,917 This isn't really just a summer job, is it? 185 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:56,918 Of course it is. 186 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,587 It just happens to be an endless summer. 187 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:03,091 -(LAUGHS MANIACALLY) -(LAUGHS) I get it, Wesley. 188 00:07:04,217 --> 00:07:05,593 ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 189 00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:06,928 CANDIDE SAMPSON: That idiot! 190 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:09,430 I cannot believe Scudworth stole the entire school 191 00:07:09,514 --> 00:07:11,557 and opened up his own damn theme park! 192 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:14,102 And he actually thinks he can get away with it? 193 00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:15,603 -(HISSES) -True. 194 00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:18,773 Blowing up the island would solve the problem instantly. 195 00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:21,442 But if we take out Scudworth and all the clones, 196 00:07:21,526 --> 00:07:24,445 there's no hope of rebooting Operation Spread Eagle. 197 00:07:24,529 --> 00:07:25,571 (HISSES) 198 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,740 I know the button for the ultimate secret super-weapon 199 00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:29,617 is right there, but I'm saying, 200 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,244 the clones still have value. 201 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,579 And Joan happens to be my foster daughter. 202 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,832 -(ALARM BLARING) -(GASPS, LAUGHS) 203 00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,084 You naughty little shit. 204 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,254 Looks like it's time to cancel Clone High... 205 00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:43,715 again. 206 00:07:43,798 --> 00:07:46,843 -♪ (EPIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 207 00:07:46,926 --> 00:07:51,681 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) For France, I will fight! I am Joan of Arc! 208 00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:57,186 And I am a strong, God-hearing, independent woman! 209 00:07:57,270 --> 00:08:02,316 -(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) -(CELL PHONE RINGS) 210 00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:03,693 -Uh, hello? -CANDIDE: Joan? 211 00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:06,821 Are you serious? Did you put a phone in my arm? 212 00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:08,865 I wanted to keep tabs on you, 213 00:08:08,948 --> 00:08:10,825 so I simply slipped you a sleeping pill, 214 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:12,660 cut open a thin layer of your forearm skin 215 00:08:12,702 --> 00:08:14,871 using my meat slicer, implanted the phone 216 00:08:14,954 --> 00:08:16,372 with a tracking device, sewed you back up-- 217 00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:18,416 Okay, I get it, you're a monster! 218 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,209 Hey, I'm not the one who locked you 219 00:08:20,293 --> 00:08:22,086 in a demented little zoo for clones. 220 00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:25,381 Cloney Island is a theme park. And I'm just working here. 221 00:08:25,465 --> 00:08:26,841 It's called a summer job. 222 00:08:26,883 --> 00:08:29,469 CANDIDE: Oh, you poor thing. It's not a job. 223 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:32,179 Scudworth wants to keep you all there forever. 224 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,222 I'm sorry, what? 225 00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:36,350 Phone in the arm doesn't seem so bad now, does it? 226 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,811 Scudworth never cared about you clones. 227 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,313 But I'm going to teach him a lesson. 228 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,231 I sent a missile to destroy the island. 229 00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:45,526 -What? -Hey, I'm trying to save your life. 230 00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,904 Get to Scudworth's submarine and get outta there. 231 00:08:47,987 --> 00:08:50,531 You've got two to eight hours before the missile arrives. 232 00:08:50,615 --> 00:08:52,241 You're welcome! 233 00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:54,744 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 234 00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:57,497 Everyone! We have to go! A missile is coming! 235 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,415 -(AUDIENCE GASPS) -GUEST 1: She's being anachronistic! 236 00:08:59,499 --> 00:09:01,542 We just suspended our disbelief! 237 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,336 -Now we gotta start all over! -(AUDIENCE BOOS) 238 00:09:03,378 --> 00:09:05,046 GUEST 2: I jet-skied to an island for this? 239 00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,173 -GUEST 3: Go back to the fire! -Assholes. 240 00:09:07,215 --> 00:09:10,218 I'm Honest Abe, and I cannot tell a lie. 241 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:13,388 You must keep your arms inside the log at all times. 242 00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:16,265 "Cannot tell a lie" isn't an Abe Lincoln quote. 243 00:09:16,349 --> 00:09:17,809 It's Washington's. 244 00:09:17,892 --> 00:09:20,186 (LAUGHS) You seem fun! 245 00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:21,479 -(GRUNTS) -(SCREAMS) 246 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:22,563 (PANTS) 247 00:09:22,647 --> 00:09:25,566 -Joan! What are you doing here? -Candide sent a missile 248 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:29,028 to blow up the island! We only have two to eight hours! 249 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:32,448 Oh my God, that's so vague yet specific and terrifying! 250 00:09:32,532 --> 00:09:34,242 Come on, we gotta get the others! 251 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:36,411 Wait. I know a faster way. 252 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:38,287 -(BOTH CHEER) -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 253 00:09:38,371 --> 00:09:39,330 (BOTH LAUGH) 254 00:09:39,414 --> 00:09:42,041 Time for us to split! (GRUNTS) 255 00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:51,217 (BOTH CHEER AND LAUGH) 256 00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:52,885 Wahoo! 257 00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:54,470 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(BOTH LAUGHING) 258 00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:56,472 CONFUCIUS: Oh, no! Joan and Abe are down there 259 00:09:56,556 --> 00:09:58,182 having the best time together. 260 00:09:58,266 --> 00:10:00,268 She clearly doesn't miss me at all! 261 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,353 Am I losing her, Nostradamus? 262 00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:03,980 ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 263 00:10:04,063 --> 00:10:05,898 Do not despair. 264 00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:09,318 You will find yourself with whomever is right for you. 265 00:10:09,402 --> 00:10:11,446 Can you just tell me if it's Joan? 266 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:15,116 I will tell you that the answers are all inside of you. 267 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,451 That sounds like bullshit. 268 00:10:16,534 --> 00:10:17,702 Dude, I'm not a wizard. 269 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:20,955 I just make broad predictions that'll eventually come true. 270 00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:22,373 But I'll tell you what is bullshit, 271 00:10:22,457 --> 00:10:24,959 you've had those binoculars for like ten straight minutes! 272 00:10:25,043 --> 00:10:27,086 They're not yours! They're to share! 273 00:10:28,254 --> 00:10:29,338 Oh, my god. 274 00:10:29,422 --> 00:10:32,467 Oh, yeah! I see my destiny down at Historical Hotties. 275 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:35,303 Oh, my gosh! There's some real talent there! (GROANS) 276 00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,096 -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(HOOTING AND HOLLERING) 277 00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:38,389 GUEST 1: I'm looking! 278 00:10:38,473 --> 00:10:40,308 -GUEST 2:Whoa. -GUEST 3: Look at that! 279 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,478 GUEST 4: Shake that tush, James Dean! 280 00:10:43,561 --> 00:10:46,105 James Dean? I'm JFK. 281 00:10:46,147 --> 00:10:47,899 GUEST 4: Ooh, look at his butt tensing up. 282 00:10:47,982 --> 00:10:49,692 GUEST 5: I think you made him angry! 283 00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:52,653 Cleo, do you ever feel objectified? 284 00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:54,280 (SIGHS) I used to. 285 00:10:54,322 --> 00:10:56,491 Now I'm surrounded by so many hot people, 286 00:10:56,574 --> 00:10:58,284 I barely feel objectified at all. 287 00:10:58,326 --> 00:11:00,369 I need to be the hottest person in the room. 288 00:11:00,453 --> 00:11:03,247 I think I wanna be more than just hot. 289 00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:05,291 -BOTH: This sucks. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 290 00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:06,834 Everyone, we gotta go! 291 00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:07,835 -Oh, thank god! -Thank god! 292 00:11:07,919 --> 00:11:09,379 Wait. Did someone already tell you 293 00:11:09,462 --> 00:11:10,838 -about the missile? -BOTH: Missile? 294 00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:12,882 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 295 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,884 -(BIRDS SQUAWK) -(MISSILE ROARS) 296 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,261 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 297 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:18,638 SCUDWORTH: Look at that, Mr. B. 298 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,849 All my little creations, living out my childhood dreams 299 00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:24,519 of fulfilling their destinies as theme park attractions. 300 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,145 It's exactly as I imagined, 301 00:11:26,187 --> 00:11:28,189 and it all came off without a hitch. 302 00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:29,690 -(ALARM BLARING) -(YELPS) 303 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,860 -It's a hitch. -What? 304 00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:35,530 ABE: (OVER PA) Uh-oh, looks like my log is jammed. 305 00:11:35,613 --> 00:11:37,865 But we'll be squeezing out shortly. 306 00:11:37,907 --> 00:11:40,910 The clones have abandoned their posts! 307 00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:42,703 We'll need to teach them a lesson. 308 00:11:42,787 --> 00:11:45,039 Fill churros with horse tranquilizers, 309 00:11:45,081 --> 00:11:46,999 tranq the clones, chain them to their posts, 310 00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:49,711 and make sure they never leave their lands again! 311 00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:51,963 Bingo! Once this is resolved, 312 00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:54,549 we'll have a grand total of zero problems. 313 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:56,384 -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(SLURPS) 314 00:12:00,263 --> 00:12:01,389 -(THUD) -(ROARS) 315 00:12:02,682 --> 00:12:05,017 People, there's a missile approaching the island! 316 00:12:05,059 --> 00:12:07,270 -We have to evacuate. -Wait your turn! 317 00:12:07,353 --> 00:12:09,397 -No cuts! -I'm not cutting in line! 318 00:12:09,439 --> 00:12:11,357 -Said the cutter! -Push on, cutter! 319 00:12:11,399 --> 00:12:12,859 HARRIET: Candide's trying to kill us? 320 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:13,985 FRIDA: Don't like that. 321 00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,820 Come on, let's grab Confucius and get to the sub. 322 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:16,904 We don't have much time. 323 00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,531 You haven't gotten Confucius yet? 324 00:12:18,573 --> 00:12:20,199 -Interesting. -What does that mean? 325 00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:23,244 Well, er, uh, you'd think he'd be the first one you rescued, 326 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,912 you know, since, uh, you're dating. 327 00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:26,581 Abe was closest to me. 328 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,040 In what way? 329 00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,250 Geographically! 330 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,586 Come on, Joan, there have been sparks between you and Abe 331 00:12:31,669 --> 00:12:32,712 for weeks. 332 00:12:32,754 --> 00:12:34,547 (CHUCKLES) Okay, that's ridiculous. 333 00:12:34,589 --> 00:12:36,215 (SCREAMS) 334 00:12:36,257 --> 00:12:39,177 -Joan! No! -(SCREAMS) 335 00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:41,554 ♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 336 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,519 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -Yeah. No sparks at all. 337 00:12:48,603 --> 00:12:50,271 (GROANS) We're wasting time! 338 00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,940 This missile could be here in as little as 30 minutes! 339 00:12:52,982 --> 00:12:55,359 Or as much as six hours and 30 minutes. 340 00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:57,153 Fingers crossed for that one, right? 341 00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:58,404 Looking at this map of the park, 342 00:12:58,446 --> 00:12:59,947 the fastest way to get to Confucius 343 00:13:00,031 --> 00:13:02,241 is cutting through Villain Village. 344 00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:05,536 Bleacher Creatures area. Your old pals, Joan. 345 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,331 You all get to safety. I'll navigate the creatures. 346 00:13:08,414 --> 00:13:10,958 No way you're going alone. I'm coming with you. 347 00:13:11,042 --> 00:13:13,211 -CLONES: Ooh! -You like her! 348 00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:16,339 -Seriously? -What is wrong with you people? 349 00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,007 Well, I'm off to the sub. 350 00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:19,550 I need to protect this pretty face, 351 00:13:19,634 --> 00:13:21,886 boobs, butt, and feet for those who have a fetish. 352 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,971 I'm going with Abe and Joan. 353 00:13:24,055 --> 00:13:25,431 I need to show the world 354 00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,809 I'm more than just a pretty face, boobs, butt, 355 00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:29,310 and feet for those who have a fetish. 356 00:13:29,352 --> 00:13:30,603 -Seriously? -♪ (PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 357 00:13:30,645 --> 00:13:32,814 I'm not running from a missile crisis. 358 00:13:32,897 --> 00:13:34,941 -I'm John F. friggin' Kennedy! -♪ (MUSIC PAUSES) ♪ 359 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,984 John F. Kennedy famously backed down from that. 360 00:13:37,026 --> 00:13:38,653 -Well, not this time! -♪ (PATRIOTIC MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ 361 00:13:38,736 --> 00:13:41,781 Someone wise once told me you can't just sit back 362 00:13:41,823 --> 00:13:43,491 -and take what life gives you. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 363 00:13:43,574 --> 00:13:46,160 That was me. Like, a few hours ago. 364 00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:50,081 Huh. Guess you're right. I'm, er, uh, doing your thing. 365 00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:51,749 You just said you were doing my thing 366 00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:53,668 and it wasn't a sex joke. 367 00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:56,212 Yeah, I'm not exactly sure what's happening. 368 00:13:56,295 --> 00:13:58,089 Don't worry. I can help. 369 00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,674 Yes, please. 370 00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:02,593 Wait, so I'm the only one going to the sub? 371 00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:06,639 I won't let you go alone, Cle. Unless you wanna be alone? 372 00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:09,475 No, come with me! You think I wanna die on this island? 373 00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:12,228 Not that you're all gonna die. 374 00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,188 You'll be fine. You're gonna do great. 375 00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:16,733 (SCREAMS) 376 00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:20,111 Oh my god, this is easily the best part of the island. 377 00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:23,030 Bad guys make the best theme park rides. 378 00:14:23,072 --> 00:14:25,283 And we don't enforce height restrictions. 379 00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:27,201 (SCREAMS) 380 00:14:27,285 --> 00:14:30,037 Churros! Get your churros! 381 00:14:30,079 --> 00:14:32,498 Thirteen dollars apiece! 382 00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,000 Thirteen dollars? 383 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,461 I know. I don't get why we have to also gouge 384 00:14:36,544 --> 00:14:37,670 the people while we're trying-- 385 00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:39,047 SCUDWORTH: Shut up, Mr. B! 386 00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:40,965 Can't I poison them and turn a profit? 387 00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:44,385 Everybody focus! Candide sent a missile. 388 00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,054 We need to get off this island. 389 00:14:46,095 --> 00:14:49,682 Oh, no. Scudworth, we have a serious problem. 390 00:14:49,724 --> 00:14:51,726 SCUDWORTH: Until you've sold the churros, I don't wanna talk to you. 391 00:14:51,809 --> 00:14:53,061 But-- But this is important. 392 00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:54,228 SCUDWORTH: No "buts," Mr. Butlertron! 393 00:14:54,312 --> 00:14:56,064 -Please. -SCUDWORTH: Or should I say, Mr. Lertron. 394 00:14:56,147 --> 00:14:57,398 -Just let me-- -SCUDWORTH: Because no "buts." 395 00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,067 -But I-- -SCUDWORTH: I don't wanna hear the word "but" 396 00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:00,401 -come out of your mouth! -Can I just-- 397 00:15:00,443 --> 00:15:02,028 SCUDWORTH: Or the word "mouth" come out of your butt! 398 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,071 Fine, however-- 399 00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:04,781 "However" is just a fancy but! 400 00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:07,033 -Nevertheless, I-- -SCUDWORTH: No buts, no fancy buts, 401 00:15:07,075 --> 00:15:08,993 -or any other manner of but! -Although-- 402 00:15:09,077 --> 00:15:11,579 SCUDWORTH: That's it! You've lost your but privileges forever 403 00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,706 because you just couldn't leave the buts alone. 404 00:15:13,748 --> 00:15:16,209 -(RADIO STATIC) -(GRUMBLES) 405 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,378 What an idiot. 406 00:15:18,419 --> 00:15:21,881 Come on, let's go! Go! Go! Topher, we gotta move! 407 00:15:21,923 --> 00:15:23,257 So we can go back to high school 408 00:15:23,341 --> 00:15:26,135 and be stuck under the bleachers again? No, thank you. 409 00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:27,178 -Mm-hmm. -Yeah. 410 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:28,304 -That's right. -We love this place. 411 00:15:28,388 --> 00:15:30,098 I don't have to be "Topher Bus" anymore. 412 00:15:30,181 --> 00:15:31,474 I get to be Christopher Columbus. 413 00:15:31,557 --> 00:15:32,725 And you know what? Cheese! 414 00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,143 It makes some people happy. 415 00:15:34,227 --> 00:15:37,355 Okay, I'm gonna let you all sort this out while I get Confucius. 416 00:15:37,438 --> 00:15:38,898 Do you want me to come with you? 417 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,901 Not this time, Abe. I need to do this one alone. 418 00:15:41,943 --> 00:15:45,113 Okay. I'll save this victory churro for when we're safe. 419 00:15:45,196 --> 00:15:47,490 (CHEWING, GRUNTS) 420 00:15:47,573 --> 00:15:49,450 (GUESTS GRUNT) 421 00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:51,536 (CHEWING, GRUNTS) 422 00:15:51,619 --> 00:15:52,703 (GRUNTS) 423 00:15:52,787 --> 00:15:55,456 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 424 00:15:55,498 --> 00:15:56,958 (SQUAWKS) 425 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:01,671 (SLURPING) 426 00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:03,965 None of the clones are eating my churros! 427 00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:06,592 I could kill those insufferable little bastards! 428 00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:08,136 Sir, forget the churros! 429 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:11,431 Candide sent a missile to destroy the island! 430 00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:12,640 Gasp! 431 00:16:12,724 --> 00:16:14,684 She wants to kill my beautiful little angels? 432 00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:17,145 What kind of an asshole would wish them harm? 433 00:16:17,228 --> 00:16:18,521 (GRUMBLES) 434 00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:20,481 Here on my console is a heat-seeking 435 00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:21,774 weapons intercept device, 436 00:16:21,816 --> 00:16:23,609 right next to my full cup of coffee. 437 00:16:23,651 --> 00:16:26,279 It was specifically designed to neutralize a missile attack. 438 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,698 To deploy it, I'll simply reach over the coffee cup 439 00:16:28,781 --> 00:16:31,284 -and press the-- (SCREAMS) Shit! -Shit, man! 440 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,202 -Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. -Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 441 00:16:33,286 --> 00:16:35,246 -(ALARM BLARING) -I just need to do it manually. 442 00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:37,206 Shit! Where are all these coffees coming from? 443 00:16:37,290 --> 00:16:39,083 They must be from Glen the janitor! 444 00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:44,088 Oh, yes, sir. Definitely Glen. 445 00:16:44,172 --> 00:16:45,631 -♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(BIRD SQUAWKS) 446 00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:50,678 -(CROWD SCREAMING) -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 447 00:16:50,762 --> 00:16:53,973 Hey, is there a missile coming to blow up the island 448 00:16:54,015 --> 00:16:55,892 -or is that a hoax? -What? 449 00:16:55,975 --> 00:16:57,852 Wait, wait, wait, why you asking him for? 450 00:16:57,935 --> 00:17:01,064 Confucius can't predict the future, that's my thing. 451 00:17:01,147 --> 00:17:03,691 I'm just going by what it says on this mug. 452 00:17:04,484 --> 00:17:06,110 I paid $40 for this. 453 00:17:06,194 --> 00:17:07,987 Sorry, you should get your money back. 454 00:17:08,029 --> 00:17:09,405 I don't know anything. 455 00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:12,074 I'm just your classic teenager in a racist costume. 456 00:17:12,158 --> 00:17:13,117 I mean, he doesn't even know 457 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,577 if his girlfriend still likes him. 458 00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:18,581 Meanwhile, I'm Nostra-freaking-damus over here! 459 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:20,500 Well, is there a missile coming? 460 00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:22,668 A missile? Missile coming. Right. 461 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,045 -Is there a missile coming? -(PANTS) 462 00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,921 Everybody move! There's a missile coming! 463 00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:27,006 -(CROWD GASPS) -There's a missile! 464 00:17:27,048 --> 00:17:28,216 I was saying that! 465 00:17:28,299 --> 00:17:29,634 -I said there's a missile. -(CROWD SCREAMING) 466 00:17:29,717 --> 00:17:33,137 I predicted it. Oh my God! There's a missile? 467 00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:35,056 Joan! You came for me. 468 00:17:35,098 --> 00:17:36,474 What's that supposed to mean? 469 00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:37,892 I've just been so worried about losing you, 470 00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:39,394 I haven't been able to think straight. 471 00:17:39,435 --> 00:17:42,480 But the fact that you're here, now, means everything. 472 00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:44,190 Of course I was gonna come for you. 473 00:17:44,232 --> 00:17:45,733 Now let's get off this island! 474 00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,735 Right. We have to find the others! 475 00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,862 It's okay, I already got everybody. 476 00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:52,573 Oh. Okay. Uh, like everybody? 477 00:17:52,657 --> 00:17:54,534 Yeah, they were, you know... 478 00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:57,620 they were just on the way. I... I saved the best for last. 479 00:17:58,037 --> 00:18:01,874 (SMOOCHING) 480 00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:04,252 Oh! You got a little racism on your face. 481 00:18:05,086 --> 00:18:06,212 (ROCKET FIZZLES) 482 00:18:06,254 --> 00:18:07,755 Dang it! I didn't mean to set off 483 00:18:07,797 --> 00:18:09,549 those pathetic little bottle rockets. 484 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:12,760 Impact in T-minus 15 minutes. 485 00:18:12,802 --> 00:18:15,805 Quick thought, maybe we, um, leave. 486 00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,473 And let the clones die out here? 487 00:18:17,557 --> 00:18:19,934 Weren't you always planning for them to die here? 488 00:18:19,976 --> 00:18:21,686 People change, okay? 489 00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:23,438 My life is meaningless without them. 490 00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:25,648 There's so much more to teach them. To show them. 491 00:18:25,732 --> 00:18:28,067 I mean, they haven't even seen the epic fireworks display 492 00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:29,736 we prepared for tonight. (GASPS) 493 00:18:29,777 --> 00:18:32,321 That's it! If I redirect our entire arsenal of fireworks, 494 00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:34,240 maybe I can intercept that missile 495 00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:36,367 and save Cloney Island. 496 00:18:36,451 --> 00:18:39,245 Looks like the lightshow's starting a little early tonight. 497 00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,081 (BUZZES) 498 00:18:42,123 --> 00:18:43,958 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 499 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,043 You made it! 500 00:18:45,126 --> 00:18:46,461 Do we have everyone? 501 00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:49,422 If you mean a bunch of tourists and clones we don't know? Yes. 502 00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:51,632 I don't care how long the boat trip is, 503 00:18:51,716 --> 00:18:53,051 I'm not learning their names. 504 00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:55,470 So much for meeting someone new this summer, huh? 505 00:18:55,553 --> 00:18:57,346 I know enough people. 506 00:18:57,430 --> 00:18:59,432 How'd you get the Bleacher Creatures back? 507 00:18:59,474 --> 00:19:00,933 Ah, we told them escaping death 508 00:19:00,975 --> 00:19:02,852 is the kind of thing that can bond people. 509 00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:04,312 And that actually worked? 510 00:19:04,395 --> 00:19:07,315 Well, it certainly made us look at each other differently. 511 00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:09,525 ♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 512 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:13,654 I'll be honest, I never thought I'd see you again. 513 00:19:13,696 --> 00:19:15,531 Guess you could say we had a... 514 00:19:15,615 --> 00:19:18,367 -Change of heart. (LAUGH) -...change of heart. (LAUGH) 515 00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:20,828 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(BOTH LAUGH, SIGH) 516 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:21,996 Inside joke. 517 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,624 Time to shove off, y'all! Let's get this sub in the tub! 518 00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:26,209 -Wait, where's Abe? -♪ (TENSE MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ 519 00:19:26,292 --> 00:19:27,585 We thought he was with you. 520 00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,670 There he is! He's asleep on the beach! 521 00:19:29,712 --> 00:19:31,172 (CHUCKLES) And it looks like he's sporting 522 00:19:31,255 --> 00:19:32,632 some major morning wood. 523 00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:33,966 What is he doing? 524 00:19:34,008 --> 00:19:35,468 He probably ate a churro. 525 00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:37,887 Van Gogh took one bite and he was out cold. 526 00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,263 Oh, my God. Abe! 527 00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:40,681 -Uh-oh. -It's here! 528 00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:43,851 I have to save him. 529 00:19:43,893 --> 00:19:45,019 -But, Joan... -Listen. 530 00:19:45,061 --> 00:19:46,521 Scudworth was telling the truth. 531 00:19:46,604 --> 00:19:48,689 We are fulfilling our destiny here. 532 00:19:48,731 --> 00:19:51,109 But our destiny wasn't written in a history book. 533 00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:52,735 We can write it ourselves. 534 00:19:52,819 --> 00:19:56,739 And in my story, right now, Joan of Arc saves Abe Lincoln. 535 00:19:57,198 --> 00:19:58,741 Joan! 536 00:19:58,825 --> 00:20:01,702 Abe! Wake up! Wake up, Abe! Please! 537 00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:03,579 -What do we do? -We can't leave them! 538 00:20:03,663 --> 00:20:05,706 The missile is literally right there! 539 00:20:05,748 --> 00:20:07,667 The fireworks are coming to intercept it! 540 00:20:09,961 --> 00:20:12,880 -CLEOPATRA: Go! -(ALL SCREAMING) 541 00:20:14,632 --> 00:20:15,967 Can fireworks stop a missile? 542 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:18,720 If they do, is Joan gonna leave me for Abe? 543 00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:20,680 Oh god, am I rooting for the missile? 544 00:20:20,722 --> 00:20:24,308 -Confucius! Come on! -Oh, no! My 40-dollar mug! 545 00:20:24,392 --> 00:20:26,436 I just want some clarity here! Huh? 546 00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,021 -(LOUD THUD) -(CONFUCIUS GRUNTS) 547 00:20:29,063 --> 00:20:32,024 CONFUCIUS: To see the future, look to the past. 548 00:20:32,066 --> 00:20:33,192 ♪ (SOFT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 549 00:20:33,234 --> 00:20:35,111 Grab my hand, Joan. I'll save you! 550 00:20:45,079 --> 00:20:47,373 JOAN: You're the most loveable guy I've ever met. 551 00:20:49,417 --> 00:20:51,252 CONFUCIUS: You're the coolest indie-girl I've ever seen. 552 00:20:53,713 --> 00:20:54,714 (BOTH LAUGHING) 553 00:20:54,756 --> 00:20:56,591 -God, I love an abrupt ending. -Me, too! 554 00:21:02,764 --> 00:21:05,558 HARRIET: (MUFFLED) Confucius! Confucius! 555 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,685 Oh my God, I can see it now. 556 00:21:07,769 --> 00:21:09,145 What are you talking about? 557 00:21:09,228 --> 00:21:12,190 I'm staying. It's all gonna be fine! You'll see! 558 00:21:12,273 --> 00:21:14,484 -Confucius! -♪ ("START OVER" BY ABANDONED POOLS PLAYING) ♪ 559 00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:17,612 CANDIDE: It's all gonna be fine. You'll see. 560 00:21:18,112 --> 00:21:20,740 For me. Just me. 561 00:21:20,782 --> 00:21:22,784 And possibly Joan. Who knows? 562 00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:23,993 Time to go! 563 00:21:24,077 --> 00:21:28,915 ♪ Can we start over? ♪ 564 00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:30,583 Abe! Abe! 565 00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:34,128 ♪ Can we start over? ♪ 566 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,840 ♪ It's over... ♪ 567 00:21:37,924 --> 00:21:38,883 Abe! 568 00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:41,094 (GASPS) The missile! The sub! 569 00:21:41,135 --> 00:21:43,471 Joan, you shouldn't have come back for me. 570 00:21:43,513 --> 00:21:45,056 How could I leave without you? 571 00:21:48,643 --> 00:21:51,187 Oh, God, if this is it, I have to tell you something 572 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,314 I've been dying to say for so long. 573 00:21:54,607 --> 00:21:58,194 Abe, please don't. Not until I say what I have to say. 574 00:21:59,487 --> 00:22:00,738 Abe... 575 00:22:02,657 --> 00:22:04,325 I love... 576 00:22:04,409 --> 00:22:05,493 (CONFUCIUS SIGHS) 577 00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:07,787 ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪ 578 00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:15,837 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 579 00:23:02,759 --> 00:23:04,093 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 42279

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