All language subtitles for Clone.High.2023.S02E01.720p.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_GalaxyTV - small excellence! [English] (SUBRIP)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,043 --> 00:00:01,377 -♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -NARRATOR: Previously, 2 00:00:01,461 --> 00:00:03,588 on a very special season of Clone High. 3 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,923 Joan tried to kill her friends in the Death Maze 4 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:08,175 and that was social suicide. To be clear, 5 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,677 -no one actually got hurt... -(PARTY HORN HONKS) 6 00:00:09,761 --> 00:00:11,345 ...except The Board of Shadowy Figures, 7 00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:13,431 who were all assassinated. 8 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,142 On a lighter note, Abe and JFK are friends now. 9 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,978 Lots of clones found love and it didn't take 20 years 10 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,855 for the new season to come out this time. 11 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,815 We're getting the hang of this thing, people. 12 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:25,359 Are we countin' our chickens? Yep. 13 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,278 Now, watch 'em hatch. 14 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,529 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 15 00:00:29,322 --> 00:00:30,865 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 16 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:31,949 (SMOOCHING, MOANING) 17 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:38,539 (BOTH MOANING) 18 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:40,374 Okay, welcome back 19 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:42,043 to a brand new year at Clone High! 20 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:45,380 -How was everyone's summer? -You kept me in a box. 21 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,256 That's all the time we have for sharing. 22 00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,883 Now, things got a little crazy 23 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,719 at the end of last term, what with the Death Maze, 24 00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:55,348 the elaborate musical numbers, etcetera, etcetera. 25 00:00:55,390 --> 00:00:58,351 So, we gotta cool it. Just do some actual schoolwork. 26 00:00:58,393 --> 00:00:59,644 How does that sound? 27 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:03,064 It sounds like you blew your budget on the Death Maze 28 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,815 and don't have the funds to treat us 29 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:08,069 like experimental rats anymore. Am I right, guys? 30 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,404 -(DESKS SCREECH) -(STUDENTS GRUNT) 31 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,280 He's not the one who was trying to kill us. 32 00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:13,825 Normally, you hate the game and not the player 33 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:14,992 but this is opposite. 34 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,201 (BOTH MOAN) 35 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:19,914 Okay, bring your desks back together in front of Joan, 36 00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:21,874 -blocking her from my view. -(DESKS SCREECH) 37 00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,376 PRINCIPAL SCUDWORTH: Yep, yep, yep, that's right. 38 00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:24,502 Now, does anyone know 39 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,087 where we keep the science textbooks? 40 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,256 Anyone? Not one person, including me. 41 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,882 -Pathetic. -JOAN OF ARC: What the... 42 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,175 ♪ (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 43 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,430 -Hmm? -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 44 00:01:35,471 --> 00:01:37,014 You know, in the spirit of learning, 45 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:39,976 I would love to show everyone the independent study project 46 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,728 -I did on magnets this summer. -(ELECTRICITY ZAPS) 47 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:42,812 -Boo! -STUDENT: No, thanks. 48 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,063 Can't we just sit here? 49 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,939 I'd like to learn about magnets. 50 00:01:45,982 --> 00:01:48,234 Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Toussaint Louverture. 51 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,777 Yes, my latest creation! 52 00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:51,738 The new sensation that's sweeping the nation, 53 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,281 who also happens to be Haitian. 54 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,575 Listen, I'll be doing the teaching here, okay? 55 00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:56,868 And let's start it off 56 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,787 with an edutaining freestyle on peptides. 57 00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,622 Ah, wikki, wikki, wah, wikki, wah, wah-- 58 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,249 -(SCREAMS) -♪ (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 59 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,793 (STUDENTS CHEER) 60 00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:08,462 The labels on these say, "Don't shoot indoors." 61 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,048 You wanna know who writes these labels? 62 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:11,716 Know-it-alls like him. 63 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,802 -(SCREAMS, GROANS) -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 64 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:17,138 I'm sorry. What the hell is this? 65 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,807 I'm the new Science teacher, Professor Hirsute. 66 00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:22,477 And I tend to go a little outside the box. 67 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,312 Did you say your name was Hair-suit? 68 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,271 It's pronounced "Her-suit," and if you don't know 69 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,316 what it means, I suggest you look it up! 70 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,485 -(KEYS CLACKING) -It kinda does mean hair suit. 71 00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,904 Yes! See? You were right all along. 72 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,364 Trust your instincts. That's a point for this guy. 73 00:02:35,448 --> 00:02:36,824 Babe, I got a point! 74 00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:39,327 Believe me, this schtick's gonna get old fast, 75 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,287 the flowing hair, the tweed jacket, 76 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:44,457 -his patent leather satchel-- -Don't touch my satchel! 77 00:02:44,499 --> 00:02:45,541 (SCREAMING) 78 00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:46,626 -What the hell? -Hey. 79 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,294 -He tried to touch his satchel. -(STUDENTS LAUGHING) 80 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,836 Sorry, we're late. We were rasslin' 81 00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:52,507 -in the bathroom. (LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) Oh, you know, 82 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,842 givin' each other zerberts and other manly junk. 83 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:56,302 I'm not mad. 84 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,887 -What? -You're not? 85 00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,348 Not even close. In fact, I'm giving you both 86 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:03,351 two points each for doing what made sense to you. 87 00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:07,522 I'm losing now, babe. I gotta get more points! 88 00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:10,775 So, let me get this straight. We got rewarded for being late? 89 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,361 You got rewarded for thinking for yourselves. 90 00:03:13,403 --> 00:03:14,987 See, I don't care about things like, 91 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,365 "Showing up on time" as long as you come in here 92 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:18,866 -with an open mind... -(SNORING) 93 00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:22,203 ...and a beautiful mind and a dangerous mind 94 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,872 and you stand and you deliver. 95 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:28,251 That actually makes me want to be on time! 96 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:31,045 He seems too cool for school, yet here he is! 97 00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:33,047 Question for my two superstars here. 98 00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:35,049 Should we be done with class for the day? 99 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:36,092 -Yes! -Yes! 100 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:39,262 -Go on, get outta here. -(STUDENTS CHEER) 101 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:45,226 And now, a funky jam about peptides! (BABBLES) 102 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:46,894 ♪ ("CLONE HIGH THEME SONG" BY ABANDONED POOLS PLAYING) ♪ 103 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:51,274 ♪ Way, way back in the 1980's Secret government employees ♪ 104 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:54,068 ♪ Dug up famous guys And ladies ♪ 105 00:03:54,152 --> 00:03:57,196 ♪ And made amusing Genetic copies ♪ 106 00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,907 ♪ Then the clones As teens were frozen ♪ 107 00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:02,869 ♪ Thawed out decades later Why? ♪ 108 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,913 ♪ Back for reasons They're not disclosin' ♪ 109 00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:12,170 ♪ Giving high school Another try ♪ 110 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:18,425 ♪ It's time To watch Clone High ♪ 111 00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:24,098 ♪ Energetic and engaging Clone High ♪ 112 00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:30,396 ♪ Our angst is entertaining Clone High ♪ 113 00:04:32,732 --> 00:04:34,025 ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪ 114 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,277 -Look at that moron... -(BELL RINGING) 115 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,071 ...clutching his timeless satchel! 116 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,281 Mr. B! Call the Board of Shadowy Figures! 117 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:42,492 I must get to the bottom of this! 118 00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,285 -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(LINE RINGING) 119 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,037 What do you want, Cinnamon? 120 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,622 Candide? What are you doing there? 121 00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:50,291 I've become sole member of the Board of Shadowy Figures 122 00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:52,250 ever since the others were murdered. 123 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,754 Well, I took two weeks off after the murders 124 00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:57,298 and then I started. That's why I'm tan. 125 00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,885 My God, you're the first woman to ever fail upward. 126 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,011 Congratulations! 127 00:05:02,095 --> 00:05:03,638 We have a problem with the new science teacher. 128 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,306 I hate him and his stupid face. 129 00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,433 I hired him for a reason, Scudworth. 130 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,143 No one is to touch him 131 00:05:09,185 --> 00:05:11,687 or the finely crafted satchel from Firenze 132 00:05:11,771 --> 00:05:14,065 he carries so stylishly at his side. 133 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,818 He's to have carte blanche at the school. 134 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:18,861 -That's an order. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 135 00:05:18,945 --> 00:05:21,114 (GROANS) He thinks he's so cool. 136 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:24,158 -It's like, quit trying so hard. -Pathetic. 137 00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:27,120 I know, right? I can try way harder than that. 138 00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:35,712 -(SCREAMS) How's it look? -Infected. 139 00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:37,672 But, like, dope, right? 140 00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:39,424 I'm gonna lie down. 141 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,633 (THUDS) 142 00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:43,177 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 143 00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:53,813 -Hello? -(GROWLING) 144 00:05:53,855 --> 00:05:57,275 What is this place? What is going on? (SCREAMS) 145 00:05:57,942 --> 00:05:59,861 We're the Bleacher Creatures. 146 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,279 -Roll call! -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 147 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,490 ♪ My name is Topher I'm an ally ♪ 148 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:07,577 ♪ Nobody likes me I do not know why ♪ 149 00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:10,496 ♪ My name is Ivan And I'm terrible ♪ 150 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,956 -♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪ -Okay, okay, stop, stop! 151 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,499 I don't need a roll call song, thank you. 152 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,586 I just want to know what you're doing down here? 153 00:06:16,669 --> 00:06:18,755 We're the outcasts! The misfits! 154 00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:23,384 I'm Jackée The Ripper. Nice to meet you, Mary. 155 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,344 I'm actually-- I'm-- I'm Joan. 156 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,221 Everyone thinks that Jack the Ripper was a man 157 00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:28,556 but it was me, 158 00:06:28,598 --> 00:06:32,518 a lady with a lust for blood and nail art! (CHUCKLES) 159 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,395 Men aren't the only serial killers. 160 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,564 -Right, Lizzie Borden? -Affirmative. (CHUCKLES) 161 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,900 -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -And you can be one of us. 162 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,319 (CHUCKLES) I haven't fallen that far. 163 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:44,781 Oh, come on, Joan. You're a clone alone. 164 00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:46,574 You're clearly craving companionship. 165 00:06:46,616 --> 00:06:48,910 -You have no friends! -Thanks? 166 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:52,205 Being a Bleacher is a hoot. We're about to select our logo! 167 00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:56,084 We've got the anarchy A's. Classic, but is it played out? 168 00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,419 Satanist vibe. Maybe a little preachy. 169 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,922 Dripping with blood. Dripping with irony. 170 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,548 And all of our butts. 171 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:05,218 We're gonna tag the winning design all over school, 172 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,761 so let's get it right, Marys. 173 00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:08,930 Joan, if you join our little group of pariahs, 174 00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:12,183 -you get a vote. -(SIGHS) Can I think about it? 175 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,810 Of course. We just need you to sign 176 00:07:13,893 --> 00:07:15,436 our non-disclosure agreement. 177 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,438 -We're very litigious. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 178 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,649 ♪ (HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 179 00:07:19,732 --> 00:07:21,901 Learning doesn't happen by reading books. 180 00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:24,487 It happens by experiencing the world! 181 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,447 Oh, I've never had a favorite teacher before. 182 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,908 He sees something in me and that makes me feel special. 183 00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:31,953 -I just want more points! -Outdated teaching methods. 184 00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:33,955 That's the problem with these urban schools 185 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,915 that you poor, underprivileged teens 186 00:07:35,957 --> 00:07:38,000 -have to attend. -We live in the suburbs. 187 00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:40,712 -Our school is very well funded. -(ROCKET WHIZZES) 188 00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:43,297 You just don't like him because you're a rule follower 189 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:44,757 and he's a rule breaker. 190 00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:47,969 Yeah, you're by the book and he likes to burn the books. 191 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,763 Books are sort of famously a bad thing to burn! 192 00:07:50,805 --> 00:07:53,391 Five points for anyone who helps me burn these books! 193 00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,518 I found some worthless old kindling. 194 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,603 That's my science project! 195 00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:00,690 -I got some gasoline! -I got some matches! 196 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:03,234 -Confucius, no! -Babe, I need the points! 197 00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:05,945 What? 198 00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:08,114 -Oh, fire is spreading. -I'll get some water. 199 00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:10,616 No, come on. Books tell you to fight fire with water! 200 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,910 -(GUN COCKS) -And books can go to hell! 201 00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:16,831 The fire just doubled in size! 202 00:08:16,873 --> 00:08:18,958 Therefore, it'll burn out doubly fast. 203 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,461 Which is why we fight fire with fire! 204 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,337 That's our time. See you tomorrow! 205 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:26,174 Am I the only one who thinks this guy is dangerous at all? 206 00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,176 You're not alone. 207 00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:30,136 Toussaint Louverture. I never thanked you 208 00:08:30,178 --> 00:08:32,179 for having my back in class yesterday. 209 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,347 Like my clone father, 210 00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,683 I would give my life for a righteous cause. 211 00:08:35,725 --> 00:08:38,019 Therefore, it is I who has to thank you 212 00:08:38,061 --> 00:08:40,520 for giving me purpose, Harriet Tubman. 213 00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:41,856 Oh, my. (CHUCKLES) 214 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,816 -Oh, my, as well. -(SCREAMING) 215 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,944 Why is the forest on fire? 216 00:08:47,028 --> 00:08:49,322 This isn't the western United States. 217 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,199 -Or is it? -(DOOR OPENING) 218 00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:55,870 Welcome to my cool office! It's so casual and hip. 219 00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:57,038 Did you see my earring? 220 00:08:57,121 --> 00:08:58,206 (ECHOING SCREAMING) 221 00:08:58,289 --> 00:08:59,582 It's a bit infected 222 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,709 but it's still bitching, am I right? 223 00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:04,420 You've been bitching about it all day. 224 00:09:04,504 --> 00:09:06,506 Professor Hirsute is a terrible teacher 225 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,716 and not just because he wears blazers with jeans! 226 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,468 Someone's going to get hurt! 227 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,053 Hirsute might be opening minds 228 00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:13,846 but he's filling them with garbage! 229 00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:16,641 I knew it! Come to my secret hiding place. 230 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:19,060 I believe we're being watched. 231 00:09:19,102 --> 00:09:21,479 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 232 00:09:24,232 --> 00:09:25,358 The secret is in that 233 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,235 casually luxurious satchel of his. 234 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,778 You must get it from him! 235 00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:31,781 We'll snatch the satchel. That's fun to say. 236 00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:34,409 I'd do it but I'm being watched by the man 237 00:09:34,492 --> 00:09:36,035 and the man is a genderless lizard 238 00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:37,412 with a stethoscope. 239 00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:39,664 (HISSES) 240 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,542 Get the satchel and you'll find the evidence 241 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:45,420 that can take that cocky Mr. Kotter down, 242 00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:48,589 making me the coolest faculty member again. 243 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,258 Ahem. 244 00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,343 -Right, snackpacks? -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 245 00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:54,053 See, you get it. 246 00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:55,722 Here, take this cheap knockoff satchel 247 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,432 that I purchased on Canal Street. 248 00:09:57,515 --> 00:10:00,601 Which I definitely knew was fake the whole time. 249 00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,770 You paid 360-- 250 00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:05,440 I knew it was fake, okay? 251 00:10:05,523 --> 00:10:07,608 -♪ (ROCK SONG PLAYING) ♪ -(WHIMPERS) 252 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:11,612 As you can see, I, uh, er, just disproved water displacement 253 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:15,616 and buoyancy by giving this nerd a swirly. 254 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,827 Impressive, Kennedy. Five points! 255 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:23,124 (CHOMPS, GULPS) Professor, look at me! I was told that 256 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:26,127 eating magnets was deadly, yet I am still alive. 257 00:10:26,169 --> 00:10:27,253 Another myth busted! 258 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:28,963 -(GULPS) -Well done, Confucius. 259 00:10:29,464 --> 00:10:30,548 (SWALLOWS) 260 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:33,217 Professor, look! I'm staring directly at the sun, 261 00:10:33,301 --> 00:10:36,220 and it doesn't hurt. It's just beautiful! (GRUNTS) 262 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,640 Hear that? Those are for you. 263 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:43,019 You freed your minds, gentlemen. Now let them run wild. 264 00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:44,395 CONFUCIUS: There's snow on a mountaintop, 265 00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:45,813 so hot air doesn't rise! 266 00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:46,898 PROFESSOR HIRSUTE: Oh, I like it! 267 00:10:46,981 --> 00:10:48,316 JFK: The Big Bang Theory didn't start everything, 268 00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:49,817 -Young Sheldon did! -PROFESSOR HIRSUTE: Oh, yeah! 269 00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:51,235 ABE LINCOLN: Lefty tighty, righty loosey! 270 00:10:51,319 --> 00:10:53,071 -PROFESSOR HIRSUTE: Keep it up! -CONFUCIUS: Deep state, 271 00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:54,489 -dark web! -JFK: Dark state, deep web! 272 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,991 (CHUCKLES) Just look at all the truth you've found! 273 00:10:57,033 --> 00:11:00,661 Uh, Professor, I'm just curious who has the most points. 274 00:11:00,745 --> 00:11:02,789 Yeah, and what exactly does the winner win? 275 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,499 Abe thinks it's a chocolate factory. 276 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,667 I told you that in confidence! (SCREAMS) 277 00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:09,670 Boys, the winner will assist me in a public demonstration 278 00:11:09,754 --> 00:11:11,923 exposing the biggest myth of all time. 279 00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,674 And since your scores are all tied at the moment, 280 00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:16,594 this next question decides it. Are you ready? 281 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:17,720 -Oh, my God! -This is it! 282 00:11:17,804 --> 00:11:19,263 -I'm so nervous! -Right now, 283 00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:22,350 I'm holding something in my hand. If gravity is real, 284 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,852 it should fall when I drop it, correct? 285 00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:26,604 -Uh... -ABE: Um... 286 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,523 -Yes! -Yes, correct! 287 00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:30,358 -Yes! I was gonna say yes. -Yes! I also say yes. 288 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:35,321 And now, a moment of truth. I present to you, gravity. 289 00:11:35,363 --> 00:11:37,323 (BIRD TWEETS) 290 00:11:37,365 --> 00:11:39,200 -♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -It didn't fall! 291 00:11:39,242 --> 00:11:41,536 That means there's no such thing as gravity! 292 00:11:41,619 --> 00:11:44,622 -Correct! -Wait, gravity doesn't exist? 293 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,041 (LAUGHS) I know, right? 294 00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:50,086 What? Haven't you ever seen old ladies' knockers? 295 00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:52,046 (SCOFFS) I wish! Well, Confucius, 296 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:54,340 you'll have the honor of assisting me tomorrow. 297 00:11:54,382 --> 00:11:56,551 We're gonna show all those academic elitists 298 00:11:56,634 --> 00:11:58,302 who've given me fake contact information 299 00:11:58,386 --> 00:12:00,638 through the years that they should have listened. 300 00:12:00,722 --> 00:12:02,473 You're gonna be rich and famous, my friend. 301 00:12:02,557 --> 00:12:03,683 I'm already rich. 302 00:12:03,725 --> 00:12:05,893 Then you're gonna be famous and famous. 303 00:12:05,977 --> 00:12:07,937 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 304 00:12:09,981 --> 00:12:12,108 -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -There he is! 305 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:14,068 How are we gonna snatch that satchel? 306 00:12:14,152 --> 00:12:15,486 I told you it was fun to say. 307 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:17,405 He's got to put it down some time. 308 00:12:25,079 --> 00:12:26,706 -(GULPS) -Jackpot. 309 00:12:26,748 --> 00:12:28,166 -We'll have to come back. -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 310 00:12:28,249 --> 00:12:29,792 Later tonight. I'll pick you up at your house. 311 00:12:29,876 --> 00:12:32,170 At my house? (STAMMERS) Oh, of course. 312 00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:35,298 You can pick me up. At night. At my house. 313 00:12:35,381 --> 00:12:37,508 Yeah, like, what-- what's the attire? 314 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,343 -Hey, babe. -(SCREAMS) Hey, babe. 315 00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:40,720 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) What's up? 316 00:12:40,762 --> 00:12:41,929 You ever have a big secret 317 00:12:42,013 --> 00:12:44,724 you want to tell the person you love but you just can't? 318 00:12:44,766 --> 00:12:46,559 No, and that's a weird thing to ask. 319 00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,102 Why would you ask that? I wonder. 320 00:12:48,186 --> 00:12:50,605 Well, 'cause I do have a big secret. 321 00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:51,898 It's gonna make me famous. 322 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:55,777 Oh, yeah, right, okay. Um, you have a secret. Right. 323 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,905 Wait, this doesn't have anything to do with Professor Hirsute, 324 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,698 does it? I don't want you to get hurt. 325 00:13:00,782 --> 00:13:03,493 I'm sworn to secrecy on that. But I will say this. 326 00:13:03,576 --> 00:13:06,120 I ate magnets, and I'm feeling fine. Bye, bae! 327 00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:09,624 -(ELECTRICITY ZAPS) -(GRUNTS, LAUGHS) 328 00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:14,212 All right, Lizzie. 329 00:13:14,295 --> 00:13:15,505 Let's throw up the first transparency. 330 00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:17,382 (LAUGHS) 331 00:13:17,465 --> 00:13:19,133 Okay, what are we thinking about the red? 332 00:13:19,217 --> 00:13:21,386 Kinda gets lost in the brick. 333 00:13:21,469 --> 00:13:24,138 It needs to pop like a zit on my eyelid. 334 00:13:24,222 --> 00:13:28,309 I'm hearing no on the red. Next option? 335 00:13:28,351 --> 00:13:30,853 So we're not actually tagging the wall. 336 00:13:30,937 --> 00:13:32,313 We're just picking colors? 337 00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:35,316 Mm-hmm. And frankly, I don't think we've got it yet. 338 00:13:35,358 --> 00:13:37,985 So, that's a no from Jackée on the blue. 339 00:13:38,069 --> 00:13:39,487 IVAN THE TERRIBLE: It's a fuck no from me. 340 00:13:39,529 --> 00:13:41,280 TOPHER BUS: A simple "no" would have been fine, Ivan. 341 00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:43,991 (GIGGLES, SMOOCHES) 342 00:13:44,033 --> 00:13:45,993 Hey, Frida! Hey, Cleo! 343 00:13:46,035 --> 00:13:48,329 -(CYCLE BELL RINGS) -(SMOOCHING, MOANING) 344 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,832 Joan, we're looking at a hot pink here? 345 00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:53,418 -Really need you to weigh in. -(SIGHS) 346 00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:55,920 ♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 347 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:59,173 Ooh! A mo-ped. Or is it moped? 348 00:13:59,215 --> 00:14:02,176 So European! I've never been on one of these before. 349 00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:04,429 -Is it safe? -Safe? There's nothing safe 350 00:14:04,512 --> 00:14:06,139 about snatching a teacher's satchel, 351 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:09,183 but that's why we feel so alive. 352 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:10,810 (BIKE ENGINE REVVING) 353 00:14:10,852 --> 00:14:13,438 Oh. You know my helmet size. 354 00:14:13,521 --> 00:14:15,648 -(GRUNTS) -Just hold on to me tight. 355 00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:18,067 They don't call these donor cycles for nothing. 356 00:14:18,151 --> 00:14:20,862 -Tighter. Tighter still. -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 357 00:14:20,945 --> 00:14:22,697 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 358 00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,036 (LOCK CLICKING) 359 00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:33,499 (PROFESSOR HIRSUTE SNORING) 360 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:36,377 (GRUNTS SOFTLY) The biggest number is zero. 361 00:14:36,419 --> 00:14:40,673 (SNORES, GRUNTS SOFTLY) We're the aliens. 362 00:14:40,715 --> 00:14:44,635 (SNORES) Rock covers paper. 363 00:14:45,094 --> 00:14:46,095 (SNORES) 364 00:14:47,138 --> 00:14:48,222 Scudworth was right! 365 00:14:48,306 --> 00:14:50,558 (SNORES) Who's there? (GRUNTS SOFTLY) 366 00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:53,352 -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ -(GASPS, GRUNTS) 367 00:14:53,394 --> 00:14:54,687 Who's there? Mom? 368 00:14:54,729 --> 00:14:57,857 Pee-paw? Bill Nye the Science Lie? 369 00:14:57,899 --> 00:15:00,109 Scatter like a loved one's ashes! 370 00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:02,236 -Meet me-- -I know where to meet you. 371 00:15:03,196 --> 00:15:05,323 ♪ (PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 372 00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:14,916 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -Oh, we made it! 373 00:15:14,999 --> 00:15:16,876 We got the evidence and now, we can take down 374 00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:19,045 unconventional teaching forever. 375 00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:20,671 How'd you know this is where I would run? 376 00:15:20,755 --> 00:15:22,090 Where else would you go? 377 00:15:22,131 --> 00:15:24,592 We started our journey right here. 378 00:15:24,634 --> 00:15:26,761 And tomorrow, it ends. 379 00:15:26,803 --> 00:15:29,722 I guess, I'm just not ready for tomorrow yet. 380 00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:31,224 -♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -I'm sorry. I-- 381 00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:33,393 My hands get sweaty when I'm nervous. 382 00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:36,104 And my pits. (CHUCKLES) And my underbuns. 383 00:15:36,145 --> 00:15:37,522 And my overbuns. 384 00:15:37,605 --> 00:15:41,859 But your eyes are beautifully dry. 385 00:15:41,943 --> 00:15:44,612 That's just allergies. I-- I-- I have prescription eye drops. 386 00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:46,030 I-- I left them at home. 387 00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:49,283 We should probably stop staring into each other's eyes then. 388 00:15:49,325 --> 00:15:54,372 -I know, but I can't look away. -I can't either. 389 00:15:54,455 --> 00:15:56,290 Your eyes are just so... 390 00:15:56,374 --> 00:15:57,667 BOTH: Penetrating. 391 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:00,920 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 392 00:16:00,962 --> 00:16:02,505 ♪ (UPBEAT ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 393 00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:06,467 (SEDUCTIVE VOICE GROANS) 394 00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:09,804 Baby. 395 00:16:16,269 --> 00:16:17,812 That's what I like. 396 00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:23,067 Feels so good. 397 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,824 Come on. (MOANS) 398 00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:39,041 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 399 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:41,085 What did we do? I have a boyfriend! 400 00:16:41,169 --> 00:16:44,172 But does your eye have a boyfriend? 401 00:16:44,255 --> 00:16:45,465 I have to go. 402 00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,925 -But does your eye have-- -HARRIET TUBMAN: Yes! 403 00:16:48,009 --> 00:16:50,011 -♪ (TENSE MSUIC PLAYING) ♪ -My fellow truth seekers! 404 00:16:50,053 --> 00:16:52,513 Prepare to witness a scientific breakthrough 405 00:16:52,597 --> 00:16:55,183 that will forever change the world! 406 00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:56,976 (CROWD GASPS) 407 00:16:57,018 --> 00:16:59,729 Confucius, take it away! 408 00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:01,522 Why is Confucius on the roof? 409 00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,316 I don't know. Do you want me to come with-- 410 00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,318 Screw you, Joan. 411 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,737 Oh, she'll learn not to talk to you like that, Mary. 412 00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:10,406 They'll all learn. Time for us to strike! 413 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:13,367 I proved that eating magnets is safe. 414 00:17:13,409 --> 00:17:15,535 And now, I'll prove that gravity 415 00:17:15,578 --> 00:17:17,037 does not exist! 416 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,831 On my signal, Confucius! 417 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,541 -Three! Two! -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 418 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:24,962 -Stop! Confucius! Don't jump! -CROWD: Boo! 419 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,382 Ugh. He was so close to saying one. 420 00:17:27,465 --> 00:17:28,883 I can't believe I have to say this, 421 00:17:28,925 --> 00:17:30,676 but gravity is real! 422 00:17:30,718 --> 00:17:33,096 -Professor Hirsute is a fraud! -(CROWD GASPS) 423 00:17:33,179 --> 00:17:34,597 He's wanted in four states 424 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,391 and his satchel's wanted in seven! 425 00:17:36,474 --> 00:17:37,600 -(CROWD GASPING) -(GULPS) 426 00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:38,726 We called the feds! 427 00:17:38,768 --> 00:17:41,729 Come on, that's as ridiculous as a round earth! 428 00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:44,440 -(CROWD LAUGHS) -I know. What's next? 429 00:17:44,524 --> 00:17:46,234 Aliens didn't build the pyramids? 430 00:17:46,317 --> 00:17:47,860 Yeah, or the moon isn't flat? 431 00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:49,612 (CROWD LAUGHS) 432 00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,823 -We have the proof right here. -♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 433 00:17:51,906 --> 00:17:54,534 That's not even my satchel! My satchel is right here! 434 00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:57,453 No, it's not, we switched it with a knockoff! 435 00:17:57,537 --> 00:18:00,415 Pull one thread on that thing and it all falls apart. 436 00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:01,707 -Just like everything... -(GASPS) 437 00:18:01,749 --> 00:18:03,459 -...he's taught us! -(PROFESSOR HIRSUTE GASPING) 438 00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:08,089 Admit it, Professor Hirsute! Or should I say Hairsuit? 439 00:18:08,131 --> 00:18:10,007 Professors change their name all the time, 440 00:18:10,091 --> 00:18:12,301 especially the women ones when they get married! 441 00:18:12,385 --> 00:18:15,430 Or did we forget that women can be professors? 442 00:18:15,513 --> 00:18:17,849 Professor Hirsute didn't just change his name once. 443 00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:20,393 He changed it over a dozen times. 444 00:18:20,435 --> 00:18:21,936 Students died when he convinced them 445 00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:23,688 that they could breathe underwater! 446 00:18:23,771 --> 00:18:25,064 -(CROWD GASPS) -They did it wrong! 447 00:18:25,106 --> 00:18:26,774 Others died trying to cure measles 448 00:18:26,858 --> 00:18:28,109 by eating crystals! 449 00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:30,111 Uh, heard of vitamins and minerals? 450 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:32,113 Crystals are literally minerals! 451 00:18:32,155 --> 00:18:34,115 And then, there was the lethal vaccination 452 00:18:34,157 --> 00:18:35,825 -by raccoon juice. -(CROWD GASPING) 453 00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:37,034 My raccoon! 454 00:18:37,118 --> 00:18:38,995 -Confucius, don't do this! -(GLASS SHATTERING) 455 00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:40,329 He's dangerous! 456 00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:42,874 No one ever said the truth wasn't dangerous, Confucius! 457 00:18:42,957 --> 00:18:44,417 It's about going with your gut. 458 00:18:44,459 --> 00:18:46,586 And right now, my gut is telling me 459 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,963 that your girlfriend, Harriet and Toussaint Louverture 460 00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:50,965 have been having an affair. 461 00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:53,092 -What? (LAUGHS) No way! -(CROWD GASPS) 462 00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:54,927 Then I guess, I didn't see you two 463 00:18:54,969 --> 00:18:56,971 gadabouting around the campus last night! 464 00:18:57,013 --> 00:18:58,389 -Is that true, Harriet? -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 465 00:18:58,473 --> 00:19:01,059 Uh, I mean, uh, no, not-- 466 00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:02,769 Uh, well-- Okay, here's the thing. 467 00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,353 Yes, we did steal the satchel together 468 00:19:04,437 --> 00:19:05,980 but it was to save you! 469 00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:08,483 Our eyes were on the prize the whole time! 470 00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,318 They certainly weren't on each other. 471 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,486 What would that even look like? 472 00:19:11,569 --> 00:19:13,905 An eye consensually on another eye? (SCOFFS) 473 00:19:13,988 --> 00:19:16,532 Confucius, if you want to keep swallowing everything 474 00:19:16,616 --> 00:19:19,494 the world spoon-feeds you, I've got a couple guys here 475 00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,579 ready to take your place in history. 476 00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:23,289 -Oh, pick me! Pick me! -Let me do it! 477 00:19:23,331 --> 00:19:25,875 Wait, wait, wait, wait, give me a second! 478 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,794 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 479 00:19:27,877 --> 00:19:30,630 -Don't do it! -Fly, Confucius! 480 00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:33,633 Okay, I've made my decision-- (SCREAMS) 481 00:19:33,674 --> 00:19:35,510 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(CROWD GASPS) 482 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:37,762 Save him! He's so rich! 483 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:40,681 He swallowed magnets. Quick, quick, quick! 484 00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:42,016 -(SCREAMS) -There's very little time! 485 00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:44,018 Think, Harriet, think! It's magnets. You know this! 486 00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,312 Now is not the time to panic. Now is the time to act. 487 00:19:46,354 --> 00:19:48,481 Oh, wow! Okay, he's halfway down. 488 00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:50,983 We need a magnet of the same polarity 489 00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:52,860 as the magnets in Confucius' stomach 490 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:54,529 to fight the downward force! 491 00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,489 Harriet, catch! 492 00:19:58,032 --> 00:19:59,283 (SCREAMS) 493 00:20:00,368 --> 00:20:02,870 (SCREAMS) 494 00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:07,834 -(ELECTRICITY ZAPS) -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 495 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:10,712 -(CROWD CHEERING) -That's right! It's science! 496 00:20:10,753 --> 00:20:13,381 From a book! And it's awesome! 497 00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:15,967 -(METAL CLANKS) -(CROWD CHEERING) 498 00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:21,139 You know what? I've had enough of you pathetic little sheep! 499 00:20:21,222 --> 00:20:22,849 I'm taking back my real satchel, 500 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,726 which is worth more than your entire lives, 501 00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,561 and I am outta here. 502 00:20:26,644 --> 00:20:29,355 That's the satchel! Do what we do best! 503 00:20:29,397 --> 00:20:30,898 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PALYING) ♪ -(OFFICERS GRUNT) 504 00:20:31,774 --> 00:20:34,527 Fly, satchel! I'll come for you! 505 00:20:34,569 --> 00:20:37,071 -(THUD) -(GUNSHOTS) 506 00:20:42,243 --> 00:20:45,955 -(MISSILES FIRE) -No! 507 00:20:46,914 --> 00:20:48,666 (EXPLOSION) 508 00:20:51,294 --> 00:20:54,630 -(GUNSHOT) -(CRIES) 509 00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:57,759 (COUGHS, CHOKES) 510 00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,010 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 511 00:21:00,386 --> 00:21:01,637 Abe. JFK. 512 00:21:01,721 --> 00:21:04,182 I'm speaking at a frequency only you can hear. 513 00:21:04,265 --> 00:21:06,350 Break me out of jail! (GRUNTS) 514 00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:10,855 (SIREN BLARING) 515 00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:13,524 Why did you hire that dipstick and his purse? 516 00:21:13,608 --> 00:21:15,443 If I'm going to turn these clones 517 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,404 into world leaders, I need to weed out the bad ones. 518 00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:21,407 Anyone who follows this idiot is clearly not leader material 519 00:21:21,449 --> 00:21:23,242 and deserves what they get. 520 00:21:23,284 --> 00:21:26,454 So, you were going to let Confucius die? 521 00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:28,790 Better dead than running the world. 522 00:21:28,831 --> 00:21:31,542 Pretty smart for a woman! (WAILS) 523 00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:35,129 -(SOBS) -Cool ear. 524 00:21:35,171 --> 00:21:37,882 Van Gogh, thank you. I am cool, aren't I? 525 00:21:37,965 --> 00:21:41,344 So very, very cool. So very cold. 526 00:21:41,427 --> 00:21:43,179 -(AMBULANCE SIREN BLARING) -(CHOKES) 527 00:21:44,639 --> 00:21:46,307 (CHOKES, COUGHS) 528 00:21:47,016 --> 00:21:49,060 (GAGS, GASPS) 529 00:21:51,145 --> 00:21:53,064 So glad that guy's gone. 530 00:21:53,147 --> 00:21:56,317 I never want to care that much about school ever again. 531 00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:57,610 Me neither. 532 00:21:57,652 --> 00:21:59,821 (SCOFFS) We should've known he was trouble. 533 00:21:59,862 --> 00:22:02,657 Passionate male teachers are always suspect. 534 00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:04,826 (SIGHS) I bet his chest hair wasn't even real. 535 00:22:04,909 --> 00:22:07,328 I mean, it was real hair, but probably not his. 536 00:22:07,412 --> 00:22:09,664 (CHUCKLES) Well, I'm just glad everyone's okay. 537 00:22:09,747 --> 00:22:12,834 We all came through this calamity together. 538 00:22:12,917 --> 00:22:14,794 As friends. 539 00:22:14,836 --> 00:22:17,839 Uh, sorry, Joan. Doesn't work like that. 540 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,507 Yeah, don't try to horn in on this. 541 00:22:19,590 --> 00:22:22,468 (SCOFFS) You tried to murder us, like, three months ago. 542 00:22:22,510 --> 00:22:25,304 -Who even does that? -Okay. 543 00:22:25,346 --> 00:22:26,931 Did you think we just forgot? 544 00:22:27,014 --> 00:22:29,684 -I said, "Okay!" (GRUNTS) -Keep walkin'. 545 00:22:29,726 --> 00:22:31,686 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 546 00:22:31,769 --> 00:22:34,480 We're gonna have to add another butt to that. 547 00:22:34,522 --> 00:22:36,190 (ALL CHEER) 548 00:22:36,691 --> 00:22:38,192 Role call! 549 00:22:38,234 --> 00:22:41,362 ♪ Nobody likes me Not even teachers ♪ 550 00:22:41,404 --> 00:22:45,867 ♪ My name is Joan the new Bleacher Creature! ♪ 551 00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:48,745 Thank you for saving me, my sexy Inspector Gadget. 552 00:22:48,828 --> 00:22:50,747 I should have never doubted you for a second. 553 00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:52,206 I'm just glad you're okay. 554 00:22:52,290 --> 00:22:55,376 How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing girlfriend? 555 00:22:55,418 --> 00:22:58,463 Uh, can you repeat the question? 556 00:22:58,546 --> 00:23:00,715 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 557 00:23:00,757 --> 00:23:04,010 SCUDWORTH: And now, a funky jam about peptides. 558 00:23:04,052 --> 00:23:06,345 ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪ 559 00:23:06,387 --> 00:23:08,598 ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪ 560 00:23:08,681 --> 00:23:10,349 ♪ Peptides are short Amino acid chains ♪ 561 00:23:10,391 --> 00:23:11,809 ♪ They’re the building blocks Of something ♪ 562 00:23:11,893 --> 00:23:12,977 ♪ That we call pro-teins ♪ 563 00:23:13,061 --> 00:23:14,896 ♪ A neuropeptide activates Inside your brain ♪ 564 00:23:14,979 --> 00:23:16,522 ♪ And it can tell you When you’re hungry ♪ 565 00:23:16,564 --> 00:23:17,732 ♪ Isn’t that insane? ♪ 566 00:23:17,815 --> 00:23:20,026 ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪ 567 00:23:20,068 --> 00:23:22,236 ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪ 568 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,363 ♪ Peptides are found In every living thing ♪ 569 00:23:24,405 --> 00:23:26,574 ♪ From protozoa all the way To human beings ♪ 570 00:23:26,657 --> 00:23:28,743 ♪ They’re synthesized From sequences of DNA ♪ 571 00:23:28,785 --> 00:23:30,995 ♪ So peptides are never Gonna go away ♪ 572 00:23:31,079 --> 00:23:33,164 ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪ 573 00:23:33,247 --> 00:23:34,332 ♪ If I was Johnny Depp ♪ 574 00:23:34,415 --> 00:23:35,625 ♪ You could call me Johnny Depptide ♪ 575 00:23:35,708 --> 00:23:37,752 ♪ If I was a soda You could call me Dr. Peptide ♪ 576 00:23:37,835 --> 00:23:39,545 ♪ If I spoke like Yoda I might flip it ♪ 577 00:23:39,587 --> 00:23:40,713 ♪ And say Tide-Pep ♪ 578 00:23:40,755 --> 00:23:42,590 ♪ Say it with me now Anyone who hasn’t tried yet ♪ 579 00:23:42,632 --> 00:23:44,717 ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪ 580 00:23:44,759 --> 00:23:47,053 ♪ Pa, pa, pa, pa, pep, pa Pep, pa, pep, peptide ♪ 581 00:23:47,095 --> 00:23:49,013 ♪ They’re synthesized From sequences of DNA ♪ 582 00:23:49,097 --> 00:23:51,307 ♪ So peptides are never Gonna go away ♪ 42748

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