All language subtitles for 60.Dates.In.6.Months.2026.720P.Jff.H264.1800k-eng.eng

[music plays]

[thunder rumbling]

[bright music playing]

[upbeat drums playing]

[woman]
What is there to say
about dating that

hasn't been said by every
comedian and every self-help
book?

[man] It takes a lot of
dedication, a lot of work,
a lot of sacrifice.

But it's worth it.

Oh. Oh, that is such a good
drink.

Oh. It's cute.

[man] I have three cats,

and I named them after my
sisters.

[man] Go down 60ft and there's,
like, 12ft bull sharks.

Are you married?

I, I got married, but-

but that was a while ago.

Flushing is a waste of water.
It’s a waste.

So if it's yellow,

keep it mellow.

It has a great aroma.

It has legs.

The body...

Um, sorry. What was I saying?

Most guys, they like the
scotches and the whiskeys.

I own this. This is me.

I'm a little embarrassed
to admit this one, but,

if it's brown, keep it around.

It does smell a little bit, I
mean, but you get used to it.

And she wants me to spin the
chair.

And if I don't spin the chair,
she just meows endlessly.

It's the most amazing thing
you've ever seen.

You sure you don't want one?

I guess you’d say it's
a sign of accomplishment.

And they all love their daddy.

[woman]
I did have love once.

Can I find love again?

[music plays]

[keyboard clicking]

[man] I am so sorry.

[woman] Oh, um. Guess I
shouldn't have laid

all that out there in the first
ten minutes of knowing, you.

No, no, we have to talk
about the past eventually.

Cancer, it’s...

it’s the worst.

Yeah.

But now your husband's an angel!

Oh. Uh, well, I have never
thought of it that way.

- [Maureen] That's a nice
sentiment. Thank you.
- Thank you.

Would you mind if I say grace?

Over the pastries?

Well, technically it is a meal.

- Oh, sure. Go for it.
- Now...

Dear Lord, thank you for this
food

lovingly prepared by this- this
incredible young person.

Amen!

And bless our time together on
this date,

And, Lord, thank you for
bringing Maureen into my life.

No matter how powerful the
dating app algorithms get,

You are still in charge.

Let this date be fruitful, no
matter

if it brings romance,
friendship,

or Bible study.

- Amen?
- Amen.

- Amen!

Sometimes I just get into the
zone.

- The prayer zone.
- Yeah, right?

- Oh, that was a good one. You
covered all the bases.
- Oh, good.

Yeah.

So you're probably wondering
why I got divorced.

I mean, eventually.

Oh, is that a first date topic?

Well, uh, we're not getting any
younger.

We should put all our cards on
the table.

Open up all that baggage.

[Maureen laughs]

Well, I guess I did already
start to unpack.

I do have one more piece
it’s a smaller bag.

Like a purse.

Oh, yeah, purse size.

I haven't been on a date
in quite a while.

Like how long?

Well, John died ten years ago.

Focused on work and the kids.

Woke up one morning to an empty
nest.

So I went to therapy, and...

I was finally ready to grieve.

You know, like, my heart is
ready.

So you haven't been on a date
in ten years?

Longer than that if you don't
count marriage dates.

Well, I’m flattered.

And I'll try not to screw it up.

You're not screwing it up.

Yum.

[woman] I try to go every
Sunday.

[man] There’s trying and there’s
doing.

I think you might have missed
your calling as a priest.

I mean, you seem more interested
in church than dating.

I don't know if I should kiss
you or confess.

It just takes a while to warm
up.

But I don't go three weeks
without another date.

Us Catholics got to stick
together.

Yeah, I didn't even know there
was an app for us till I got
back out there.

So specific.

You're not on any others?

Apps? Sort of, you know.

Wait, so you don't have any
other dates lined up?

I have some text threads that
have gone stale.

So are you saying

that I'm also your first second
date?

I guess I am.

Oh, lucky me.

Lucky you.

[alarm clock beeping]

[upbeat music plays]

[metal chimes]

There you go.

- Why, thank you.
- Why, you're welcome.

[man] Hold on.

[woman] Woohoo!

I can't wait to see the look on
Maureen's face when she sees us!

She'll be more shocked than a
dingo at a dog show!

Oh, you know what? Quick, hide
that van down the block.

I want this to be a proper
ambush.

Hurry up!

[car engine]

[man] Oh, gosh.

I ate too much.

- [Maureen] No, it's just-
- La la la la!

- Oh, okay!

- Come on. What do you think
this is?
- Such a gentleman, my goodness!

- Of course!
- Chivalry is not dead.

- Never.

[Maureen] Oh, that was
delicious.

[man] Delicious.

Oh, thank you again for an
amazing night.

Yeah, well,
that's the move on a third date.

Oh, noted. Third dates
have a super romantic dinner.

What happens on a fourth date?

Oh, gosh, that's a good
question.

Come on. You're the expert.

Oh, I am. Well, then I will have
to think of something really
cool.

Okay. Fourth dates are really
cool. Got it.

[knocking on window]

Aah! Oh my gosh.

I'm sorry. Was the kiss that
bad?

No, no. Apparently my old friend
and her husband are in from
Australia.

You two make a gorgeous couple!

[Maureen] I'm so sorry.

No, are you kidding? That’s
hilarious.

Do you want to come in and meet
them?

Meeting the friends is best
after our fifth date.

Ahh, okay.

So maybe you’ll meet them soon.

Let's take one date at a time.

You're now free to talk about me
behind my back!

Daaaaahh!

[Amber] Surprise!

Oh, so glad you guys made it!

How long are you here for?

Soaking in her motherland
for about half a year.

We were both able to take
sabbaticals from work, visiting
family,

friends, and, oh, wouldn't
believe the spiritual retreats,
Maureen.

We got a camper van, and thought
we'd turn your cabana

into home base
for our SoCal adventure.

- Hope you don't mind.
- Are you kidding? Of course.

Now, can we please talk about
the handsome bloke on your front
steps?

Yes, it is so good to see you
finally getting back out there.

Well, that was my first real
kiss in a decade.

- And?
- I’m rusty.

- [Jen] Mom?
- I'm in here, hon.

- Hi.
- Hi. What's with the
camper van outside?

Some old friends are in town.

I got your favorite bagel.

Oh, I can't stay.

Oh, I must have misread the
text, and...

Sorry.

It's fine.

So you're dating?

That's great.

What's the difference between
dating

and going on dates?

I think it's exclusivity.

Well, I just wanted to give you
a heads up.

You know, before you guys meet
him.

So it's serious.

Well, we haven't talked about
meeting each other's kids yet,
but,

I feel it coming.

How many dates has it been?

Three. And they've all been
great.

- That's good. That's great.
- Yeah?

I want you to find someone.

Thanks, honey.

If you're happy, we're happy.

But, I just want to make sure
that nothi--

Oh my goodness!

Which one is this, all grown up?

This is Jen. Jen, my oldest
friend Amber and her husband,
Matt.

Look at you.

I used to sing folk songs to you
when you were just a little itty
bitty bean.

There is so much to unpack
there.

Well, lovely to meet you.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, right.

Well, we're off to Joshua Tree.

I'll see y’all in a few days.
Buh-bye!

Just be careful.

Okay.

Take things slow.

Yes, dear.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Be safe and text me
when you get there, please?

Ok.

Wee is fantastic fertilizer.

Just got to water it down a bit.

You know what? We should
probably have to hydrate more,
Matt.

I don't know, I mean, I think
I'm being careful, I dunno.

I think you are enjoying the
win, hon. That's what I think.

You've been in the saddle a
month, and you already managed
to find a nice guy

- with good hair.
- He’s got great hair.

Are there any red flags, though?

He does like to bless every
single meal.

- Every meal?
- Every meal.

What about leftovers?

- Oh, probably.
- Is he like

Lord is me coming to you
with this reheated Pad Thai.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

- Amen.
- Amen, sister.

Girl, listen, here's
to your first kiss in a decade.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. You know.

Oh, boy.

Do you-- I mean, do you even
like this guy though?

I guess so.

Yeah I...

I know what a really bad
relationship looks like because
my ex-husband

and I know what a great
relationship looks like

thanks to John and...

I don't know, I think I'm ready
for

just a nice guy

who may pray too much in public.

Okay. But.

Okay, here's a real question for
you.

Are you trying to date or are
you trying to find the next love
of your life?

Well, I--

I want what you and Jake have.

I want that. You guys met
through a mutual friend, and
then it was really simple.

I want simple.

And Craig seems, you know,
simple.

But don't forget,
Jake and I met decades ago.

Trying to find a guy today is,
like, a whole different can of
enchiladas.

Yeah, see? Cause see, for you

three dates in two months with
one guy. That is not dating.

That's why it's called a dating
pool.

It's called that for a reason.

Because you have to put your
little floaties on and

splish, splash around and swim
and go meet people.

That's it. That's it.

You know, I think I like being
in the jacuzzi

with just one other person,
though.

That's kind of my vibe.

Yeah, okay. And you're doing it
again.

As usual. Turning the metaphor
around on me.

Yes. Yeah, but does this guy
think he's in the jacuzzi,

or does he think he's in the
pool?

Think about it. I’ll wait.

- Yeah. You owe me a touché.
- Oh we'll see. I don’t know.
- I'll get one.

Cause if it happened once
It'll happen again

happen again

[music continues]

[music fades]

Sorry.

- Sorry I'm late.
- It's okay.

You ordered already?

It's all right.

[man] Hey. Can I...
Lemme think...

Could, um... can I just get a
coffee? A coffee, thanks.

I wish you would had let me get
your coffee.

Oh, is that a fourth date rule?

Just... it's really
intimidating.

You were seven minutes late. I
ordered a coffee. How is that
intimidating?

It's just this Type-A resume.

You’re a high powered attorney,
you run marathons, all while
raising four kids.

Aren't we supposed to share
information about each other's
lives?

I wasn't trying to brag.

It's our fourth date in two
months.

Thank you.

You're not seeing any other
people.

And you are.

We're in a dating pool.

Yes. Of course.

- I think it's stupid.
- What?

Pools are stupid.

The actual pool or the metaphor?

Seeing more than one person at
the same time is like

having a full time job with no
health benefits and terrible
hours.

You’re not wrong there.

I'm nice to just meet someone,
you know, maybe go on a ski
trip,

Costa Rica, meet each other's
kids,

wander through a flower field,
not having to wonder

are they still texting Tanya
from Bumble.

That's what I mean,
intimidating.

You’re coming at our time like
you're in a marathon, but with
no training.

Okay, I don't know what metaphor
we’re in anymore.

I'm saying

that you're not ready for this,

What, this-- you and me?

Have you kissed someone else?

Oh, you're definitely not ready
for this.

I'm just trying to have a fourth
date.

This doesn't have to be a date.

You're the one that sent all the
X's and O's in text.

Okay. Three hugs, three kisses.

That's so many!

It's just texting, Maureen.

What is this?

I wanted to see you again.

But we're going slow.

We may end up friends.

Oh, God.

I have friends.

This feels like a break up.

We're not exclusive.

We technically don't have to do
that.

I realize that now. Thanks.

You know, I'm going to go, um...

train for a marathon.

Maureen...

[keyboard clicking]

Why am I crying?

Hey...

I saw that your car wasn't
moving, so I had to put your
latte in a to-go cup

- and warm it up for you.
- Thanks.

Just so you know, I'm not crying
about us.

I have, like, a lot of other
stuff going on.

Yeah.

- You want to talk about it?
- No.

- We can pray on it.
- Holy crap, no! No...

Please just go.

- Yeah, okay.
- Thanks.

[dramatic music playing]

I tried, John.

I really did. I got myself out
there and...

got my butt kicked.

There's all these rules, and

they all suck.

If we get to do this in another
life,

I'll take the cancer,

you take the dating scene.

Okay?

Listen,

I don't want you to be
disappointed, but I don't think

I'm gonna be getting back out
there.

Just let me be alone, okay?

I miss you.

[gentle music plays]

[frying pan sizzling]

Hey. Oh, I missed you.

Joshua Tree was spectacular!

It was gorgeous.

You can taste the spiritual
energy there.

It's like Sedona.

Tell me, how our hot mama is
doing on the dating scene?

And don't you dare leave
anything out.

I want all the scandalous
details.

Yeah, my dating chapter is
closed.

- He didn't work out.
- What?

No no no no no no no no no.

You need to get back out there,
Maureen.

I'm fine. Really.

Oh, crap.

Obviously, you are not fine.

Look at this.

I'm okay, I promise.

You know what your problem is?

You just fall too hard, too
fast.

You need to play the entire
field, see what's out there.

Yeah, she's right.

You are fit as a fiddle.

You're smashing it at work.

You're basically the top
1%-er of your age bracket.

That's right. Men should be
lining up around the block.

Oh, that sounds gross and
exhausting.

Oh, come on, are you really
going to let some so-so guy

- rewrite your entire
romantic story?
- Yes.

You should be saying hell no.

You remember our friend Jillian?

She's practically our age.

She's on all the dating sites.

She says it's just a numbers
game.

I don't like games.

Then don't call it that.

Think of it as test-driving a
few blokes before you

pick one to take home.

That's right.

Look, these men, they're just
trying to be out on Team
Maureen,

Too right.

The vibes will shift.

- I don't know what that means.
- Well,

if you’re going on heaps of
first dates,

you start giving off
a whole different energy.

A bit more breezy, less
desperado.

What are the kids calling it?

A less than thirsty vibe.

Exactly.

You're just sussing ‘em out.

Yeah, I guess I was a little too
thirsty with good bye coffee.

Oh, that's what I'm calling him.

Oh, look, if you're not ready to
get back out there, then don't.

But you said you were ready
the last time we talked,

and I think you really, really
want this, Maureen.

You know what? Turn around.

- I want to see your butt.
- No.

Turn around! Come on!

Matt, cover your eyes.

Damn girl, that butt
needs to be on the dating scene.

Amber!

Oi! Don't deprive the men of
SoCal that marathon runnner bum.

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

I will get back out there,
but I'm doing it my way.

Oh, that's the spirit!

Oh, I love you, Maureen.

[upbeat music plays]

- Okay, ready for this?
- Yes.

Okay. There's three categories.

Yellow is, uh, bar dates.

These are hotties, and the
banter has been awesome in the
DMs.

- Okay.
- So, that means an
evening drink.

If it's really good,
maybe it leads to dinner,

or maybe, I fake a dental
emergency.

- Okay. Sounds good!
- Category two!
- Okay.

The coffee date. These are my...

maybe men. You know, uh, texting
not that much,

their pictures are meh or kind
of blurry.

Oh. And you’re booking some of
these back-to-back?

Oh, yes. Efficiency is key.

And some of them don't even
deserve caffeine, which takes me
to a category three.

The hiking date.

These guys are pretty iffy.

So, even if the date’s a total
bust, at least they get my steps
in.

Okay, and when you say iffy,
like, what does that mean?

Oh, I cannot overstate how many
men are posting pictures of
themselves in speedos.

- Oh, uh-uh girl. Why?
- I do not know.

I do not want to ask, but I'll
give them a chance and a hike.

Ladies?

Guess who found a vintage
kimono at a thrift store

and met a man

named Ernesto who plays the
bongos with his feet?

Oh, God. She's back.

Tell me, what am I missing?
Another intervention?

I can cry if needed.

Dating strategy.

An experiment.

Ooh, I love it.

Oh, so it's like The Bachelor,
but with senior citizens?

Plan accordingly for the dinner
specials girls. They usually end
at 4 P.M.

Excuse me. Oh, okay.

Hey, what is a good response
to a Pulp Fiction reference?

Um, how about “Quit it,
Tarantino.”

Girl, those are fighting words.

I just-- I don't want to offend
him before we first meet.

When in doubt: Thumbs Up Emoji.

Bold move. Very, very
Switzerland.

All right. This seems really
intense.

Well, I tried the monogamous
dating with Goodbye Coffee

and he made me feel like an
idiot.

So, I'm diving in the deep end.

See, you are in the dating pool.

- I told you! I knew it.
- You got your touché, my friend
okay?

Yes I am, you know, saying yes
to whatever swims or floats by.

Okay, but things are really
gonna get messy then.

I'm saying yes, and I'm holding
my halo.

Hell to the yeah, my angel.

Put it up there. I love this for
you.

I just don't want the rumor mill
to start back up.

I mean, you guys remember what
happened

when I first started dating John
after my divorce?

Yeah, but those people were
total idiots, too.

They were idiots.

You found your love before
and your happiness,

and you're gonna find that
again.

Okay. Now, please remind me
exactly how many dates are you
aiming for in this

little experiment of yours?

60 dates

in six months.

[jazzy music]

Yeah, those pictures were taken
a few years ago.

Hi...

Hi, it's very nice to meet you.

It's, um... it's muscle fat.

I have no idea what that is.

I got a great pad up on Dana
Point.

- Oh, nice.
- View of the ocean.

Open floor plan, mood lighting,

surround sound.

It has its own entrance,

so it won't disturb my mother.

Okay,

okay.

Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I'm
wrong! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh. So delicious.

I told you, it's
my usual spot for a reason.

I used to bring my kids here all
the time.

It's a great second date.

Yeah, it is.

Have you had this roll by any
chance?

Oh, no. Not yet.

Oh, well, allow me then.

Oh, thank you.

[shrieking] Stop!

Doin okay?

Sorry, I can't walk

and talk at the same time right
now.

Okay.

Hey, hey, should we call it a
day?

Oh, no, no, no, it's just...

just give me a second if you...
would please.

Oh, actually, my son's calling.
Do you mind if I take it?

Oh, go for it. Yeah.

Hey, Kev! How are you doing?
Yeah?

How are your classes going? Ah.

Well, yeah, you better. Uh huh.

Oh... hold on a second.

Holy guacamole...

I got to call you back,
sweetheart.

So you're telling me
you walk into your hotel room

and there's an Elvis
impersonator in there? Doing...

They had double booked it.

They were hosting an Elvis
convention at the same time as
my dental convention.

I opened that door and he was

in mid-hip trust.

A one for the money

It's not very good. Yeah.

I'm having a really nice time.

Me too.

You know, I didn't want to come
right out and tell you this, but

I come from a long line of
dentists.

- Really?
- Not kidding.

Few uncles. My grandfather.
Having a cavity was our scarlet
letter.

So what made you rebel
and become a lawyer?

We have those in our family,
too.

I don't know, I guess I just
thought legal briefs was better

than, you know, digging around
people's mouths.

No offense.

Fair enough.

It's getting late.

Maybe a full dinner next time.

We could set it up
using our actual phone numbers?

I would like that.

Okay. What's your last name?

Last name is Blowskie.

- Oh, with an i - e.
- Okay. Got it. Got it. Okay.

Ooo, drum roll.

Doing it in my head. Okay.

And, you know, I don't want to
look you just go ahead and
give it to me straight.

Okay. Hold on.

- Do you want the bad news, or
do you want the good news first?
- Oh, bad.

What can I see here? Okay.

Your handsome dentist: he is
actually not a practicing
dentist.

He had to close
all three of his locations.

Okay, well, that happens
sometimes.

No, ma'am. See, that was
actually the good news.

- Let me show you.
- What?
- Look, right here.

- Oh...
- Look at right there.

Closed for ethics violations?
What the...

Probably doing something crazy,
like selling nitrous oxide out
of the trunk of his Tesla.

- That’s crazy...
- Well, better cancel my
cleaning.

- Oh, you should do that.
- Oh... he was so handsome...

- I know, I know, I know, I
know.

This is my living room.

This is my office.

Nice touch.

You know, this is really fun.

Showing off my house for a
second date.

- The house has good bones.
- Ah, totally.

And who doesn’t love... good
bones?

Family room.

Can I see your back garden?

I would love to show it to you.

- Hi.
- Oh, is it hot out here or

is it just me? I'm just kidding.

- Oh
- Not really. you know if--

I mean, when I get this
promotion, it's gonna be a
straight track, right to VP.

And after that, bam!

C-suite. Always leveling up,
baby.

You know, just, leveling,
leveling, leveling.

- Always leveling up.
- Totally.

I'm like a shark, right?

You know I'm, like, swimming
and swimming and swimming,

like - like the shark in Jaws -
he’s swimming. He's swimming.

He eats Chrissie. He eats that
little Kintner boy. Jumps in the
boat, eats Quint. Bam!

- He is swimming though. When he
stops swimming, he dies.
- [Maureen] Terrifying.

Yeah, right? Yeah. But--

But let's just say this, you
know, it doesn't work out.

- It's their loss. Their loss.
It's always, always their loss.
- Noted.

All I do then, call up my
headhunter and say, “Hey,
Daddy's back in the market.”

- Bam!
- Please never say that again.

No, listen, you always got to
bet on yourself, right? You get
it.

I mean, you seem like a chick
who just really gets it. You
know what I mean?

Yeah, like-- like you got
that...

- go-getter energy. Big time.
- Huge.

Yeah, me? I honestly, I don't
know how not to be a go-getter.

- I'm always moving and shaking
and doing things like-
- Rick!

- Yeah!
- You're on time.

I try to be.

Wait wait wait. What the hell is
this? Did you book back to
backs?

Well, I'm a go-getter, as you
noticed.

And, you went about 20 minutes
over... Blame your TED Talk.

Yeah, but we we went 20 minutes
over because we were vibing. We
were grooving.

Yeah, well, name one question
you asked me.

- Yeah, well, there was the...
- Huh!
- And the, um...

Go get em, tiger!

Lead the way.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait
wait.

I didn't even show you my abs
yet.

What a view.

Thank you.

Beautiful. Really good upkeep.

Well, I definitely do a lot to
stay in shape.

I mean,

the back is almost better than
the front.

And I recently had it
landscaped.

Yaddle was the same species as
Yoda.

- Yaddle?
- Yeah.

So Yaddle was a full Jedi
master.

Okay? Really important person.

She helped to rewrite sections
of the Jedi code, and then poof!

Gone by Attack of the Clones.

Total erasure.

That's unfortunate.

Yeah, see, that's exactly what I
said.

So in the Tales of the Jedi
series, they show you what
happened. Okay?

And she went to confront Count
Dooku,

and,
spoiler alert
he just
kills her.

Right? Just kills her dead.

No heroic fight, no big sendoff,
nothing.

Uh, gosh.

That's unfair.

Thank you! That's exactly what I
say.

IMHO, that's in my humble
opinion,

IMHO, I think that the Jedi
Council

and the Jedi Order in general
did her dirty.

Oh, well, I'm gonna use the
ladies room and, rethink my
whole existence, so.

Oh, you're being sarcastic.

Oh, you know,

I said I was a big fantasy
nerd in my profile.

Why did you swipe right?

Because

you were one of the only guys
without a picture of themselves

holding a fish.

Can I get you a cup of coffee?

Pastries?

I think we should just get right
into it, don't you?

- Really?
- Yes.

Let's talk numbers.

Numbers?

Well, I did some due diligence.

- Oh, before our date?
- Yeah,

and I think that I can get you

30% above market value.

What?

We are talking $300 per square
foot.

Wait. Is this still a date?

Well, speaking of date, I am
confident that I can get this
house sold

and closed in 30 days.

Yeah. You know where the front
door is, so, um,

you can see yourself out.

Oh, she's coming.

- Would you like another one?
- No, but thank you.

Maureen!

It's me.

- Mike!
- Oh, I know.

You look... wow. You look
amazing.

Thank you.

- Shall we?
- We shall.
- Let’s go.

I mean, some of them looked
nothing like their pictures.

Zero. I was like, who are you?

- I would say probably more for
me than that.
- It’s the filters, right?

Those filters.

- Like the apps, the face
exchange.
- Yeah.

You see them in the picture, and
then they show up

and it's like,
okay, who are you?

Yeah.

I hate talking about it.

Oh, no. No, we're just
commiserating.

We are.

There are some good ones, too, I
mean.

- Yeah...
- Eh.

I'm really having a good time.

Good.

Good.

Okay.

- Playing it cool. I can respect
that.
- Oh yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I did not play it
cool at the beginning.

Yeah, well, my first attempt of
getting out there,

I went out with a younger woman.

- Oh, yeah? How much younger?
- Mid 30s.

Very beautiful.

Ooh, oh boy.

It was like when she said yes
to the second date,

it was like me preparing for our
wedding, you know, just--

just desperation oozing out of
my body.

- And... she ghosted me.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

I had a similar experience, but
mine was... was he was too nice.

Yeah. It's like they’re pitying
you.

Ugh, yeah. It's rough.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm just gonna lay
my cards out on the table.

Oh, suspense.

I really want to see you
again...

but I'm seeing other people.

Me, too.

And me too.

Okay, I guess we got all of our
cards on the table.

Yeah, and they seem to be the
same.

- Well...
- Except for one.
- Oh?

I think you're the total
package.

- That's a pretty good
compliment.
-That’s a really good

compliment!

I'll be the judge of that.

[jazzy music]

Hey.

Hi...

This was a really good idea for
a date.

Thanks.

Oh, the air is fresh.
Our bodies are moving.

The blood is flowing.

Yeah.

Get a little sweaty.

Hope that's okay.

Oh, no. No, it's good. Sweat is
good.

- I'm really into pheromones.
- Oh, boy.

So nice to meet you.

Yeah.

So, where is your LBD?

My what?

LBD: little black dress?

- Oh.
- That's usually what all
the ladies wear on a first date.

- I'm gonna use the little
girl's room.
- Ok.

You have a really complex
pheromone profile.

It's, um... it's warm and spicy
and, I think there's definitely

some sandalwood in there.

Maybe some... cinnamon.

Yeah. Confirmed. That’s
sandalwood.

Oh, I think our date is over

Mr. Scratch-n-Sniff.

[upbeat music plays]

I would take a trip

- across the country to see
The Eagles.
- Original lineup?

I'm not that old.

Well, who would you fly across
country for?

Well, my daughter and I have
this cute thing that we make

sure we go to every Taylor Swift
tour.

Taylor Swift?

Oh, really?

What, is that not cool enough
for you?

I don't know, it's just it's a
little cliché. That’s all.

Well, she's considered one of
the world's greatest
songwriters.

I don't know. It's...

It's just these Swifties are
just so silly.

You're a grown man, right?

Uh, yeah.

Huh. Okay, well, judging
people for what they like,

especially teenage girls, is not
the flex you think it is.

Well...

I mean, I had to call the guy
out.

Lean, hair, CEO, that's the
trifecta.

But not if he's a jerk.

Totally agree. Big red flag if
he mocks my Swifties.

Shake it off, baby. Shake it
off!

Yeah, I know the 60 day
experiment isn't over yet

but guys, I'm coming to the end
of my metaphorical rope.

But, Maureen, you know, this is
a marathon. This is not a
sprint.

I run marathons, and I'd rather
do that with a rock in my shoe
than spend time

with some of these guys.

- It can’t be all bad.
- Oh, most of them are fine,

but if there's not a spark
there, it's like eating dry
toast,

functional but joyless.

Woah! Oh, hey hey hey hey.

I'm good, I'm good, I'm cool,
girl, I'm fine.

- I'm fine.
- She's good. She's good.

Dating’s like yoga.

You fall, you breathe, you try
again.

- I wish someone would have told
me that for Goodbye Coffee.
- Who?

Oh, it's just a nickname we have
for this really nice Catholic
guy.

Well, maybe you could still be
friends with Goodbye Coffee.

Well, we probably could’ve,
except I used

all of our dates as my only
means to my next relationship.

Well, isn't that what dates are
for?

Well, that's what I thought. But
now I'm just really good at
dating.

We're not talking about a ring,
Maureen.

We're talking about the
in-between bits.

The crazy, delicious mess of
just trying to figure this all
out.

Girl, you make that sound
magical and terrifying at the
same time.

If it doesn't work out, you just
gotta get back out there.

Even if your 60 dates aren’t up
yet.

You can't run back to back
marathons.

You need rest.

That's true.

But, you know if you're going to
make it to the finish line,
girl, you got to show up.

Way to use the metaphor against
me.

[phone notification dings]

Oh. Oh, no. Let me see, let me
see first.

Oh, girl.

Oh my God, does he have a
younger brother for me?

[excited chatter]

Ladies! We're doing Warrior
Three!

- Oh, okay.
- Oh, right.

- Well, looks like that
smile is a green flag for sure.
- Oh yeah.

[man] So, did you guys even
finish the sushi?

Oh, no. No, no, he ruined my
favorite sushi spot. Hands down.

Well, listen, it was worth it.

It was worth the story.

Tough times.

[man] I've met you before, you
know.

- [Maureen] What?
- [man] Yeah.
- [Maureen] Where?

- [man] Over at

what's it? Jon?

Drisk-- Drisken?
- [Maureen] That's Peter.

Peter! Peter, yes. Yes.

From law school. He was one with
the crazy, crazy parties.

Oh, yeah. See, I knew I seen you
a couple of them.

That's wild.

- Thank God you missed my goatee
phase.
- Oh, no, I remember that.

Freaky goatee.

It's so crazy that we crossed
paths like that.

You know, if you would have worn
those yoga pants back we were in
school

I would have never had a chance.

Come on, thanks.

No, no, you look great.

Better than a lot of 30 year
olds.

Thank you, I think.

Well, I just

like to tell you what I see.

The compliments are coming in
hot.

Yes. Sorry, sorry.

Yes, yes, they are coming in
hot. I apologize.

No, I like it, actually. It's
nice to meet someone who’s
forward with me.

Well, I'll take that as my
compliment.

On the way down

[music continues]

[music fades]

Dylan?

That's me.

- [Maureen] Hi.
- Hey.

You're in your 50s?

You know what they say. 31 is
the new 51.

Nobody says that

It doesn't even make sense.

Age is just a number.

Alright. Yeah. So, I'm going to
a rave after this.

You're funny.

My mom would love you.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, I have to call you
back.

- Hi.
- Jen?

- What are you doing here?
- Picking up takeout.

Oh my gosh, great. It's just--
it's right over there.

- So, I'll see you soon. Bye.
- Randy!

Randy Evans, you were my
freshman year RA!

- Uh, Jen right?
- Yeah.

Oh my God, this is a date.

Mmm, my therapist is gonna love
this one.

- Glad to be helping her
therapist.
- Oh that's funny.

Mm hmm. Yeah.

[Western showdown music]

Ayo,

look at that getup.

Marrón!

Oh. Thank you. I was feeling
adventurous.

Oh, I bet.

I got to tell you. I, uh...

I love those boots.

I gotta say,

Yeah, they're my favorite.

Thanks for noticing.

Oh, yeah.

You know, the only other woman
to pull off a snake on snake
print was my mother.

God rest her soul, you know.

You mind if I touch em?

Oh!

Oh... that's, uh...

100%

South American Amazon boa
constrictor.

And, sweetie,

you can, uh, keep these

boots on all night long.

No! No, don't do that!

What’s the matter? Was it
something I said? I mean...

Bada-bing bada-boots!

She'll be back. Don’t worry.

Ay waiter, white wine for the
lady!

Just powdering her nose...

[man]
Nice and loose. How's that
feel?

- Ooh. Oh, ok.
- Loosen the grip.

- Loose, loose.
- Loose.

- Okay. Ready?
- Yeah.

- Let's try one.

- Ready? Go all the way through.
- Okay.

- All right, How'd that feel?.

- Good?
- Good.

Okay, let's try now...

Better?

- Got it.
- Okay. C’mon, you're a natural.

- Oh, why thank you.

All right, let's try a couple.

[man]I think we're ready for a
rally. What do you think?
You ready for it?

- [man] You ready? All right.
- [Maureen] Oh, we're gonna
play?

- Yeah. All right.

- [Maureen] All right.

Ha ha ha!

Come on!

Great!

Oh, look at you!

You're a natural!

Oh! That was in!

- Out! That was out!
- That was in!

- It was out.

- I demand a replay!
- That was in.

It was totally out.

All right, I guess this is our
first fight then, in our
relationship?

Oh, is that what we're calling
it?

I wish this was in a

better setting, cause
I just wanted to tell you that,

I'm not scheduling any more
dates.

Good.

That’s all you're gonna give me?

I’m really happy about that.

[upbeat music]

Okay, how about this one?

Wow, okay.

Are we really into an arthouse
drama with subtitles?

I'll take that as a no.

Okay. Oh, what about that? Oh,
boy.

I’ve heard good things.

It looks good, right?

But you know what?

It is a series. Are you ready
for that level of commitment?

Well, if it takes me that long
to learn about a cowboy's
medical journey,

- I'm all in.
- Yeehaw!

Let’s do this.

Whoa.

Fell asleep.

Oh, you want me to start it?

Forget that.

[music plays]

[music fades]

It was so good.

I don't want to hear about that.

- Well I do.
- Relax.

Yeah. I am glad that somebody I
know is getting on base.

Oh, yeah? Well, how about you
and Jake? How are you doing?

We're okay. He's been working a
lot, but when I get me a free
weekend

Ooh, I am gonna get that engine
revving up, and I'm gonna get
that

“piston” firing again.

Ugh, I don't want to hear about
pistons or bases.

It's gross.

So what about you?

How many date have you had with
this Mike guy?

Six. Yeah.

I think I might reach my goal
early.

You are a dating assassin.

What does that even mean?

Child, I don't even know,

but let your mama have this one
so that I can live vicariously
through her.

I want my mom to be happy.

Oh, there's a but comin!

Always with this generation.

Are you ladies proud of this
banter?

You feel like you're on an
episode of Sex and the City?

Ooh, Gen Z comin in hot.

Kindness attracts kindness.

Hey!

Yeah, your mother here she is
a saint.

Who's holding her halo, right?

Isn't that your new motto?

I think I owe my daughter a
touché.

Yeah, I'd say you
do too. You are in touché debt.

I just-- I think you're in your
villain era, and I don't know if
I can support this.

Oh, give me a break.

Okay, Gen Z.

Elaborate a little bit.

- Well, fat shaming, for one.
- Oh, no.

That guy admitted to not looking
like his photos.

Goodbye Coffee wounded you,

and now you're, in best words,
a dating assassin.

See, now it's like we're in a
Marvel action film instead of
Sex and the City.

This is a bad thing.

Okay, this “thing” has gotten me
into the beginnings of a
relationship, and...

oh gosh, he checks all my boxes.

So the ends justify the means?

Listen, kid,

you try swimming around in my
dating pool, you would not
survive a day.

Well, my generation wouldn't
get in the water

- because your generation went
ahead and ruined the water.
- Hey!

Ladies. Okay, this metaphor is
getting way too dark.

- Okay, let's come up.
- Fine.

- Truce.
- Truce.

- Truce.

Did you at least run a
background check on this
“beginnings of a relationship”?

Yeah, we looked around some, but
we just couldn't find a whole
lot.

Yeah, he's not on social media,
which is a good thing.

Your generation is on social
media more than us.

I would say this is suspect.

- Oh, Oh.
- Oh, hey hey hey.

What's happening over here?

Oh, she won't want to see this.

No, I won't.

It’s just so nice.

Oh, my God, oh yum.

[upbeat music]

So you don't believe in
soulmates?

I think that God can call us
to more than one person,

depending on where we are in our
life.

Why, is that what you're looking
for?

Not anymore.

- But you are looking.
- Oh, it doesn't hurt to look.

- Yeah.

Well, thank you for agreeing to
go out again.

Oh, it was nice of you to check
up on me.

There's something different
about you.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

It's like you got your sea legs.

Oh, so the metaphor has changed
from a pool to a boat.

Nice. Nice.

I'd like to do this again.

Well, I would, but I...
I am dating a lot.

- Well, add me into the
rotation.
- Cause I got my sea legs.

Okay, I deserve that.

I am kind of seeing someone.

Oh.

And, uh, we're getting
exclusive.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Now, now I understand what this
is.

Revenge date?

Really?

I'm not even mad.

You have definitely gotten your
sea legs.

I sure have.

[upbeat music plays]

I can't bring myself to
separate the new

[music continues]

Yah!

[music fades]

[dramatic music plays]

[labored breathing]

[whimpers]

[louder whimpers]

All this darkness Around you

[dramatic music continues]

[struggling, grunting]

[loud grunting]

[grunting continues]

[music stops]

[female operator]
911. What's
your emergency?

I fell.

I can't feel my legs.

Are you alone in the house?

Yeah, I mean, I'm still single.

Technically.

I mean, there's this one guy,
but, you know, we'll see.

Oh, okay. I see you're calling
from 3125 Aroya.

Yes.

They're a few minutes away.

I'm gonna stay with you on the
line.

Um, these calls are recorded,
right?

Yes, ma'am.

Even the part about me being
single and dating this guy?

[chuckling]
Yes.

You know, if my late husband
were here,

he would, um, be laughing so
hard right now, and then that
would get me laughing.

It might be best not to laugh.

He had just the greatest laugh.

He'd just always defuse the
tension.

I just really...

...just really miss his laugh.

He sounded like a good partner.

Oh, he was okay.

[knocking]

I see that they’ve arrived at
your door.

I gotta go unlock the door.

They can break your door down.

Oh, no. No, no, please.

I really love that door...

[man] Paramedics!

Are you okay in there?

[knocking]

- Paramedics!
- Don't break down that door!

I love that door! I’m coming.

[operator]
Maureen, are you
putting yourself in danger to
open the door?

Oh, God.

Is everything okay?

Yep.

I’m almost there.

[knocking]

[Maureen] Crap.

[man] Paramedics!

[doorbell ringing]

I’m coming!

[man]
Are you okay?

Aaah!

[keyboard clicking]

I can't believe this.

We've only been gone one week,
and you practically go and get
yourself killed.

- It's humiliating.
- Oh, please.

That neck brace makes you look
like a very glamorous car
accident.

You should have seen the looks
on the paramedics’ faces

when the door swung open to
reveal... me.

Face down, ass up,

no pants.

That's embarrassing.

Nothing like flashing a bit of
Southern Hemisphere to spice up
a rescue.

Uh oh! Here comes judgment in an
EV.

Be back in a tick.

Mom. The hospital said that they
wanted to keep you a few more
days.

I'm fine.

You have a fracture in your
neck.

You could have ended up in a
wheelchair or worse.

And yet... I rise!

Margarita emergency - who’s
keen?

That is some medical advice
I plan on taking.

Unlike you kids,
I don't have time to day drink.

Some of us have to balance grad
school... and a job.

Womp womp.

Take it easy? Please?

I'll try my best.

Toodles.

- It's time to drink!
- Let's drink! Whoo!

Oh, yeah.

- Fill her up, baby.
- Oh, yeah.

Yum yum yum.

All right, girl, spill.

Give us all the X-rated details.

Oh... really nothing X-rated to
report.

- Yeah.
- R-rated then?

Well, no. It's more like PG,
little PG-13.

There's this one guy that sends
me a picture of himself in a
speedo every single day!

- Better show me. You better
show me.
- Let me pull this. Hold on.

I'm getting there.

- Here it is. Look.
- Oh!

- Oh, that’s tragic!

Poor bloke thinks he's God's
gift!

What about the sports car guy?

- Oh, Porsche Meister?
- Let’s look at him.

That guy ghosted me. Thank God.

- Tryin way too hard.
- Yeah.

- He looks like a total player.
- Mmhm.

What about the guy with the
yacht?

Oh. Yacht guy. Oh, boy. Okay.

- He invites me to Catalina
Island,
- Yeah?

then asks me to meet him there
by ferry.

Oh, wait a minute. Why didn't he
just take you on his own yacht?

Exactly. Turns out the yacht
doesn't exist.

- This is all Photoshop.
- What?

Catfished by Captain Photoshop.

Rough as guts.

How have you not given up on
this?

Well, in between the weirdos and
the ghosters,

there's been a few interesting
folks.

“Interesting.”

That's code for a bloody
trainwreck innit?

There is one guy.

- What?
- Maureen! Burying the lead.

One guy is good. One guy is
simple.

- Yeah.
- Tell me, what's his name? I'm
gonna look him up right now.

His name's Mike Dunlap,
and he's not online.

Instant credibility.

Wait a minute. He's not even on
LinkedIn?

- Give it a rest, babe.
- Nope, nope, nope.

You're just gonna have to meet
him the old fashioned way in
person.

Sorry if that's too 20th century
for you.

We were ace at that back in the
80s.

Well, here's to just one.

Here's to Maureen
finding the love of her life.

Oh! Oh God!

Totally worth it!

Let me- let me help you with
that.

Yeah?

Hey there, beautiful.

I wish I had your voice in my
head all the time.

Doesn't go with the outfit.

I know, but you remember what
the doctor said?

Just a few more weeks.

He hasn't seen me in it yet.

But if he's a keeper,

he just won't care.

He needs to pass this
Best Friend test.

Well...

as your best friend,
I just want you to be happy.

Thank you.

If you like him, I'll like him.

Unless he says something stupid
about my Swifties,

and then all bets are off.

Yeah.

Are you sure you're gonna be
okay?

I'm gonna be fine. I promise.

I'll see you out there,
beautiful.

- This is Beth and Jake. Hi.
- Hi.

Oh, it's actually happening,

and we're actually meeting.
Finally!

That is a good handshake you got
there.

- Woah.
- Hey Mike.

Sorry about my wife here.

She's just been building this
moment up in her head all day.

Yes, I have all day
and I'm not ashamed of that.

Meeting the best friends is a
bigger deal than meeting the
parents.

Yes, see, he gets it.

- Ladies and gentlemen...
- This is Amber.

- Sustenance has arrived.

She's visiting from Australia.

Well, you didn't have to come
all that way just to meet me.

Ha ha ha. Oh, but I assure you,
I did.

You know what?

You look really, really
familiar.

Oh, yeah. He was at some of our
old college parties.

College parties? Yes, of course.
I do remember you.

- Okay. Yeah. You look a little
familiar too.
- Do I?

[Matt] Alright, what’s all this
then?

- Oh.
- Has the vetting begun?

- Matt, this is Mike.

- Hey.
- G’day mate.

Welcome to the lion's den.

I hope you brought your A-game

and a thick skin. Beth here can
smell fear.

Not wrong.

- Thanks, I think.
- No worries.

We're-- We're all bark
and just a bit of bite.

- Mostly alcohol fueled.
- Shall we sit?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So Maureen introduced you to
Matt, and poof, you're an
Aussie.

25 years and still counting.

How did you know to take that
leap?

You know, there was a kindness
that Matt had.

Yeah, I thought it was my lamb
roast.

Well, that certainly sealed the
deal.

But I remember that knowing.

You know, my mother used to tell
me that after a hard breakup

as long as you're true to
yourself and your values,

that you'll know deep inside
if this is really your person.

But that knowing...

can it change ?

Well, we all change.

Life throws curveballs, mate.

Our love has had to evolve
with the lot of it.

No, that’s not what I mean.

What I’m asking is when--

when things...

"evolve"

- good word
- is there any

second guessing of the original
feelings?

Well, babe, I mean, when you
know you have your person,
right,

you hold onto it, even through
the changes.

We're talking about feelings
here, right?

We’re talkin feelings. Feelings
change.

Well... maybe the “knowing”
is... isn't just a feeling.

Maybe it's something deeper.

You know it's...

It's the whole bloody universe

shrinkin down to the size of an
organic almond.

And then, Boom,

exploding in your gut like a--

like a warm Tim Tam slam of
truth.

Y-- you just know, y’know?

Okay, Matt, maybe we won't be
writing greeting cards after
all.

I mean, how are two people

supposed to make it work for
decades

without seasons

where they don't second
guess that original “knowing.”

Jake. Um.

People change.

And feelings change and... just
things change!

Oh, shit.

Okay, you need to get some
water.

Please, just.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

Sorry.

Well, I like the word “knowing.”

You know, most of my divorced
friends, they didn't have it.

You know what, Mike?

It's all coming back to me now.

What is?

Sally.

You dated Sally.

Your memory. It's unbelievable.

Yeah. We did. Yeah.

- That's right. You were
engaged, right?
- Briefly. Briefly.

But we didn't have the knowing.

I'll take that.

Thank you.

You know what, Matt? I'll be--
I'll be right back.

[dramatic music]

Maureen.

I need you.

Just for a sec.

What? Wha-- what is going on?

- Can you please put this on?
- Amber...

I need to show you something

and I want you to have
this on when I do. Trust me.

- Happy?
- No.

I'm-- I'm so sorry, Maureen.

[dramatic music plays]

- I didn't make dessert.
- You didn’t make dessert?

She said you made a dessert.

- Oh, you didn’t.
- I didn’t. That's funny.

[Maureen] Michael Grey.

[Amber] I found you on Facebook.

It wasn't hard because we have,
like, 50 friends in common.

I can explain.

Wait, explain?

You're married?

Oh, we'll go.

Oh, no, we're not going.

No, no, no. See, best friends,

we have to fight the assholes.
I'm about to fight him right
now.

Please go home.

Come on.

You know what? Screw you, Mike.

Amber and I will be in the
camper pretending to be busy.

Hey. Come here.

- Hey.
- Don’t!

Don't “hey” me.

You're right.

What is this?

I was gonna tell you.

Is that before or after your
wife found out?

She knows.

We have an arrangement.

Open marriage?

We’re out. We’re looking and if
we find someone,

you know.

No, I don't know.
Keep saying words.

It's similar to what was
happening with you

and your ex
when you first met John.

No! No, it wasn't.

You knew everything about me

before we first met.

Yeah.

That's why I thought you would
understand my situation.

You just heard rumors,
and you chose to believe them.

I really want this to work.

We’re good together.

That's the same thing my ex said
to me before he proposed.

I really am sorry.

I don't care.

Will you please leave?

Now my eyes are open
And my will is strong

[sobbing]

[music continues]

[music fades]

My heart is tired, John.

I know you're proud of me for
trying, but

everything is so stupid out
there.

It’s stupid, and it's
ridiculous.

I wish you were here, if only to
laugh at it with me.

It's all so messy.

But, I know there's good guys
out there.

I found you. But...

I'm done looking for one.

I wanted to tell you

I'm giving up.

No, this is for real. It's
official.

I have delivered my letter of
resignation

to the dating pool.

I love you.

I'll see you next week.

[music blasting in headphones]

Hey! Hey, you!

Hey! Kid!

You can't take those!

Hey, kid!

Hey! You can't take those!

Kid, hey, you can't take those!
What are y-- aah!

Hey, you can't take those!

Kid! Y-

What are you doing? Don’t run!

Come on! Stop! Come on!

Give me my flowers!

[rock music plays]

Stop!

Can you stop running?

- Can you just...
- Oh no.
- I see you! I’m coming!

I’m gonna call your mother!

Dickhead. That’s right, you're
cornered! Hey kid! Hey!

Ha ha haa!

You little punk!

[rock music continues]

Why did you take those?

Please don’t hurt me!

Ow ow ow ow! Ow ow.

Why did you take those?

- What are you talking about?
- The flowers.

- What do you care?
- They're for my husband...

Oh. I'm sorry.

I was trying to get flowers for
this girl I really like.

Flowers are so expensive.

Don’t tell my Mom, please.

What happened?

What?

Why do you need to apologize?

I asked out her best friend.

My buddy Tyler said it would
make her jealous.

It didn't.

It just made her hate me.

Dating sucks.

Ha ha ha ha ha. [snorts]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Are you okay?

No. No.

Oh, but I think I'm getting
there.

Just keep the flowers, kid.

Really?

You're trying to do the right
thing. That matters.

But don't let some dumb advice
turn you into something you're
not.

- Okay? - Do you think she'll
forgive me?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

But next time, you'll do better.

I don't know if I'll ever love
someone else.

No, you will.

And you'll screw that up, too.

And survive it.

But also, don't listen to Tyler.

I mean he sounds like an idiot.

Yeah.

- He's never even kissed a girl
before.
- See?

Can you please help me up?

This hurts.

Thank you.

[Maureen] Ow! Oh!

Oh, man. Oh!

[Maureen]
I am happy to report

that I quit the dating apps.
I’m giving up on putting
myself out there.

Instead, I just--

I just want to be present for
what shows up.

[indistinct chattering]

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chattering]

[indistinct chattering]

[upbeat music playing]

No more forcing it with the
numbers game.

I'm not saying that people
can't find love on the apps.

I just don't think
it's part of my path.

Well, maybe it was just all a
part of your path.

Maybe it all got you to here.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

- Ah ah! Only the lighter
thing, love.
- My neck is better!

Well, let's keep it that way.
Okay?

So are you guys gonna come back
this way after the East Coast
leg of your journey?

Of course.

Someone's got to check up on
you.

You saw my emails, linking you
guys up.

I just told you, I'm swearing
off romance for now.

I know, but we reconnected with
Charlie last week, and he is
such a nice guy, Maureen.

Maybe he could just be a new
friend.

No more new people.

Well, 59 is not a round number.

- I got close enough.
- Hey,

you get yourself and that
gorgeous butt out there, you
hear me?

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

But Charlie is something
special, and I got that nudge

you two should probably meet.

Just maybe he could be a new
friend.

Just maybe.

Hey, Matt. What do you think?

Well, give it a crack.

Meet him.

Meet people. What else are we on
this rock for, eh?

He's right.

You guys be safe. Have so much
fun.

Yeah. Bye.

[upbeat music plays]

[Craig] Come on. Up the stairs.

[Maureen] Oh, you're gonna race
me?

Oh! Ha ha ha! I win! I win!
Whoo!

- Look at this. Whoo!
- It’s beautiful.

I never grow tired of this view.

Thank you so much for meeting
me.

Oh. Come on.

I'm honored. Number 60.

I, uh, want to apologize for my
intentions the last time we met.

Apology accepted, but

I thought Revenge Date was
pretty badass.

Oh, it was petty.

I don't think humans are meant
to

be with so many people at once.

Yeah, it doesn't bring out our
best.

At least not for me.

Oh, do you want to bless this
before I hydrate?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You know why I start all my
first days with a prayer?

Regardless if it's a four course
meal or a croissant.

No, please enlighten me.

It's a litmus test.

If they're meant for me, it's
going to be okay. If they're not

it's not meant to be.

I should have had a better
litmus test.

Are you okay?

I... One of the last things
that John said to me was that

I had to get back out there
again, and it took me ten years,

but I-- I did it.

So I'm just going to come right
out and ask you.

Would you be my friend?

Oh! Ha ha!

I mean, the past few months

have shown me that I really need
more guy friends,

if you would be open to that.

Wow, uh.

No one's ever come right out
and asked that before.

- It's intimidating.
- Rrr!

I'd be honored.

Thank you.

- Oh.
- What's that? Hey!

Oh! You bugger!

Come on!

[computer notification beeps]

[Charly]
Hi, Maureen.

Nice to make your acquaintance.

I'm not sure why Amber wants us
to meet,

but she's an old friend who
always knows best.

Fair warning: I'm not looking
for anything right now,

but I'm always up for making a
new friend.

I'm around next week for
coffee, if that works.

Look forward to connecting.

Charly.

[keyboard clicking]

[phone dings]

Aah! Oh! Aah!

[grunting]

You’re not saying anything worth
hearing.

- That's why--
- It was nothing!

- Yeah, that's real good.
That’s nice!
- Hey!

Oh my God.

Maureen, what happened to you?

What? I-- I fell but it's not--

it's not that bad.

- You should go to the hospital.
- Don't change the subject!

What subject?

Jake!

How does she know already?

Because I texted her, that’s
why.

- This is an emergency.
- What do you need?

- Well, you need a doctor now.
Look at that.
- No no, it's just a bruise.

I'm here for you.

No, this is what I'm talking
about. You two are codependent!

I'm sorry. So you cheated
because she spends time with her
friends?

Okay. This woman is amazing.

And she is loyal.

That makes you an asshole, Jake.

She's been there for me through
my darkest moments,

and there have been quite
a few of those lately. So yeah.

I came as soon as I heard.

What do you need, babe?

I need to get you to the
hospital.

Yeah, I do.

While Jake packs his things and
moves out.

Beth... can--

Can we please talk this through?

We have nothing more to talk
about.

Beth, I am sorry.

Yeah, so am I.

This whole thing
just really, really sucks, man.

Come on. We got to go.

Beth!

[upbeat music plays]

[keyboard clicking]

You guys have been on quite the
rollercoaster recently.

Thought it got easier when you
got old.

Okay. The only thing that got
easier for me is my ability to
not take crap from idiots.

I guess it's something to look
forward to, I guess.

So how about you? Any young men
you care to talk about?

- Sure. Things are good.
- Oh, really? Yeah? Fun.

I have a no idiots policy.

[Jen] Makes life a lot easier.

I think your generation just
might turn out okay after all.

[phone notification dings]

- Oh boy.
- Do tell.

Okay, that guy that Amber wants
me to meet just asked if we’re

still on for coffee.

I thought you were done with
dating.

This is not a date!

Okay, then what's the problem?

I don't want him to see me like
this.

Even though it's not a date.

Well, I mean, a doctor told me

“take it easy,” right? so...

Coffee sounds easy to me.

First impressions, okay?
They still matter.

Maureen. Come on.

Is it taking it easy
or is it first impressions?

Okay, you two are ganging up on
me, and I don't like it!

- I think you kinda like it.
- Yes, cause tough love

that is your love language.

- That is not a love language.
- It is if I say it is.

So you're really gonna overthink
on something that isn’t a date?

I'm just gonna push a couple of
weeks out,

we're gonna take a picture of
this, send it to Amber, and be
done talking about it.

No, Amber does not do anything
lightly.

Excuse me. You met her for,
like, two seconds.

She held me when I was a baby,

so technically,
I've known her my whole life.

- That's right. Absolutely.
- Okay. You too!

- Oh my goodness. Now, what?
Jeez Louise.
- What is going on?

- What is it?
- Blowin up!

So I texted him that
I have this terrible black eye,

and he says he's walking with a
cane because of a skateboarding
accident.

- Ew, how old is he?
- Oh, relax, child. He’s my age.

But I'm not sure if he's your
type. I mean, he's
skateboarding?

It is not a date, so it doesn't
matter.

So just go meet him.

Two injured old people having
coffee.

Stop trying to make this a
thing.

Do you want this in the face?

- I’m on your momma's side on
that one.
- All right, all right.

[music plays]

[indistinct chatter]

[music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh hell yeah.

[keybaord clicking]

[music continues]

[Maureen] I got you! Aaah!

- 3, 2, 1, action.
- Aah!

- She’s graceful. I love it like
a gazelle!

Know I'm hungry.

Scene 43. Take one.

Are you okay?

- Are you okay?
- I'm great.

- Hi.
- Hey.

3, 2, 1, action!

Wait wait wait wait wait!
I didn't even show your abs yet!

Ha ha ha ha!

The energy is transferring. It
will eventually reach our
groins.

Come on girls!

If it’s brown, keep it around.

The only woman

I ever seen wear that

and a snake print dress is my
mother.

God rest her soul.

Now, listen, if you could cook a
lasagna

I may be able to work
something out tonight.

[indistinct]

Injured player down!

Oh my goodness!

Oh, wow. Yes.
I'm glad that was in a cooler.

Love the dress.

Wanna buy me a drink?