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1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:09,220
So apparently, Two-Face was able to make
our impenetrable safe quite penetrable.
2
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,780
Didn't these high-res infrared security
cameras pick up anything?
3
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,480
Mm-mm. His henchmen covered him in paper
bags.
4
00:00:14,820 --> 00:00:16,059
Okay, we can't think of everything.
5
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:20,360
Luckily, Batman caught him. Oh, I love
that guy.
6
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:25,520
He's got a tricked-out ride, blows money
on expensive belts, always in a feud
7
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:29,560
with a guy that dresses like a pimp. You
know, he's basically like a rapper that
8
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,499
saves lives.
9
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:31,880
Yeah, just like Macklemore. No.
10
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:33,860
Not like Macklemore.
11
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,140
Ron, you gotta check this out.
12
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,160
Sweet Mother's Mary.
13
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,320
Is that a battery?
14
00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:37,270
So, you're walking down the street when
suddenly Jack O'Lantern hits you with a
15
00:01:37,270 --> 00:01:38,630
flaming ball of fire.
16
00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:42,770
Citizens of Charm City, who likes crime
brulee?
17
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:49,350
But thanks to our new indestructible
cell phone case, your phone is perfectly
18
00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,470
fine. As long as you don't drop it
directly on the screen.
19
00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:53,410
Yeah. Cool. Great work, guys.
20
00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:55,930
Do you want us to leave you alone?
21
00:01:56,250 --> 00:02:00,430
No, she wants you to ask about the paper
she's staring at. Well, since you asked.
22
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:06,050
It's an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's
wedding, but I am perfectly okay with
23
00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:08,370
it. Good. That's a healthy attitude.
24
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:12,830
She's not okay with it, numbnuts. She's
already stalked the new girl's Facebook
25
00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:13,890
page to 2012.
26
00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:19,230
Wow. Is she a supermodel? No, she's not.
And she only does print.
27
00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:20,930
She should do more.
28
00:02:21,690 --> 00:02:23,190
You know, we met in grad school.
29
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,830
You know, we backpacked through Asia
together.
30
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,480
I mean, his racist grandfather even
started warming up to me.
31
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,900
The acceptance of a racist grandfather
is still my white whale.
32
00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:38,000
I honestly thought we were going to get
married. And then one day, out of
33
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,600
nowhere, he just says he couldn't do
this anymore.
34
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:44,180
No, I can't do this anymore. You have
been here for six months. All you do is
35
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:45,500
work. You need to meet a guy.
36
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,540
Someone who will make you his problem
and not ours.
37
00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:53,060
Why don't you just go out tonight, maybe
get a couple drinks in you, chat up a
38
00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:54,240
few gentlemen, call...
39
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,200
Ron and I probably shouldn't join our
palpable masculinity with scare-off
40
00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,380
potential suitors, obviously.
41
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,160
Obviously. Obviously.
42
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,680
Obviously. Obviously.
43
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:07,400
So it would just be me, Jackie, and
Wendy?
44
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,420
Little girls, my eyes.
45
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,460
Yeah!
46
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:15,540
What are you doing?
47
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:21,720
If you so much as lay a finger on my
action figures, I will stick my lawyers
48
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:22,920
on you, you son of a bitch.
49
00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:24,380
Yes!
50
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,630
I will see you this Sunday at brunch,
mother.
51
00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:31,090
All I've been at is fostering Batman.
52
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:37,270
Don't you have a batarang flying here?
53
00:03:37,790 --> 00:03:39,710
You mean this one?
54
00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:43,050
Are you a Batman fan, too? A fan?
55
00:03:44,010 --> 00:03:45,010
Hardly.
56
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:48,710
Let me tell you a story that will shake
you to your core.
57
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:53,150
The year is 2003, the season summer.
58
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:57,400
I'm sitting in my Maybach, listening to
Hey Ya on the radio.
59
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,060
I'm shaking it like a Polaroid picture.
60
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,860
And then suddenly, the Batmobile flies
out of nowhere and takes off my side
61
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:05,599
-view mirror.
62
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,580
Batman didn't even stop. He just kept
chasing after the semi-polar warheads to
63
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:10,580
help some orphanage.
64
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:11,960
Were the orphans okay?
65
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,400
Who cares?
66
00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:14,780
They're orphans.
67
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,339
It's a hard-knock life.
68
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:21,640
They can live on one dollar a day. But
my side-view mirror? That costs $30,000
69
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,640
to fix.
70
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:26,520
I'm going to get him to pay when he
comes back for this.
71
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,640
Well, Batman had hundreds of batteries.
72
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,240
He's not going to come back for this
one. Batman never leaves anything
73
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,480
behind, including insurance information.
74
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,420
No, he puts a GPS in all of his stuff.
He doesn't want the technology getting
75
00:04:39,420 --> 00:04:40,420
out there.
76
00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:46,080
Yes! Excuse me.
77
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,500
I know you can hear me, dork knight.
78
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,980
You better bring your checkbook.
79
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,480
And a prepared statement I can turn into
Geico.
80
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,540
I am so glad you guys convinced me to go
out.
81
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:07,460
Oh, should we take a picture? No.
82
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,700
Hashtag, hi, haters.
83
00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:12,400
Wait, who are the haters?
84
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,220
I don't know. Huh.
85
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,980
Oh, how about some margaritas for me and
my senorita?
86
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:21,840
A man.
87
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:26,580
He just smiled at you. We would not be
at all offended if you wanted to leave
88
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:27,860
us and go talk to him.
89
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,640
There's no guys at this bar for me. How
could you possibly know that?
90
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:36,540
Well, ironic mustache, unironic
mustache, flip-flops in a bar, gross.
91
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,000
Eating mozzarella sticks with a fork.
92
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:40,500
Oh, has a blackberry.
93
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,740
Looks like my old dog that died, which
is already making me kind of sad, and
94
00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:45,920
went to Arizona State.
95
00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,620
Wow, you're like Jason Bourne if he was
destined to die alone.
96
00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:51,380
I just know what I want.
97
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:56,980
I don't need to settle. It's not like
I'm $30 in debt.
98
00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:59,500
Don't want to start a relationship in
the red.
99
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:00,679
Good save.
100
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:01,800
Well, I tried.
101
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,860
I'm going to go. If I leave now, I can
still get home in time to not be here.
102
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:08,640
Who am I going to make out with?
103
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,480
Hey.
104
00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:16,860
Yo.
105
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,250
Hold up. Did we go to Arizona State
together?
106
00:06:22,570 --> 00:06:25,190
I'm pretty sure we had bio or like...
Hey, bro!
107
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:27,730
Heard they started a beer pong
tournament outside.
108
00:06:28,090 --> 00:06:29,090
Whoa.
109
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,390
Yeah.
110
00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:33,150
You got about two minutes until it works
out there's no beer pong.
111
00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:35,250
Hey.
112
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:36,429
I'm Emily.
113
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,730
Dan. Did you just get here?
114
00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:41,670
Yeah. I just got out of the ER. Oh, my
God. Are you okay?
115
00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:44,010
Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm better than okay.
116
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:45,650
I'm a doctor.
117
00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:47,610
Oh.
118
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,520
And my team is actually putting the
finishing touches on this indestructible
119
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:54,479
phone case.
120
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,800
Wow, that seems like overkill. Try and
break it.
121
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,540
I dare you.
122
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,800
Okay, we still haven't figured out
waterproofing.
123
00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:10,080
Can I see your phone?
124
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,880
Are you going to drop in a beer?
125
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,320
The...
126
00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:17,850
The picture on the home screen is just a
joke.
127
00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:20,550
I don't really like Gilmore Girls.
128
00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:25,710
I mean, unless you also like them, in
which case, I'm Team Jess.
129
00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:32,190
Yeah, I don't normally give out my
number, but I have a good feeling about
130
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,190
you.
131
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:34,350
Text me.
132
00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:59,010
There's a little message from the
Riddler.
133
00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:03,270
Oh, my God, Jackie.
134
00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:06,210
I just met the most amazing guy.
135
00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:16,470
Which picture do you like? The one where
I look good and he looks okay, or the
136
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:18,370
one where he looks really good and I...
137
00:08:18,890 --> 00:08:19,910
Oh, I still look good.
138
00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:23,710
Posting a photo on Instagram to let your
ex know that his engagement hasn't
139
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:27,130
affected you at all. So, I'll just leave
the hashtag traded up.
140
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:31,110
But I actually do really like Dan. I
told you, I'm not picky.
141
00:08:31,390 --> 00:08:32,610
I just know what I want.
142
00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:34,350
When do we get to meet Mr. Perfect?
143
00:08:34,590 --> 00:08:35,590
Oh, it's Dr.
144
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,429
Perfect and, uh, oh, right now.
145
00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:41,330
All right, obviously I'll just let him
know that we're friends so he's not
146
00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:42,330
threatened by our relationship.
147
00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:44,070
Obviously. Obviously.
148
00:08:44,310 --> 00:08:45,750
Obviously. What?
149
00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:47,030
Hey, everyone.
150
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,520
I'm Dan.
151
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,460
How you doing? You ready to go? Yeah.
Let me just get my stuff.
152
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:55,620
That must be Wendy.
153
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,760
Yeah. Hey, is it cool if we eat early? I
got to work tonight.
154
00:08:58,980 --> 00:08:59,759
Oh, my God.
155
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,860
What happened to your face?
156
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:05,380
Oh, I fell off my bike and onto a rock.
157
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,460
Was the rock shaped like Green Lantern's
ring?
158
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:09,580
Who knows?
159
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,340
Sometimes pancakes look like Jesus.
160
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,740
We should go. Okay.
161
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,680
You dropped your scope? Yeah.
162
00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:20,980
We're just friends.
163
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:29,360
So, Emily's dating a henchman, right?
Yeah, big time. We gotta tell her. Well,
164
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,740
hold on. I mean, he's just a low-level
henchman. I dated one in college. It's
165
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,440
basically like dating a bass player.
166
00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:39,520
Maybe you're right. I mean, it's
probably just a fling. It'll flame out
167
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,520
or he'll die.
168
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,540
Just like dating a bass player.
169
00:09:49,670 --> 00:09:50,670
What the hell you doing?
170
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,170
Waiting for Batman.
171
00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:53,790
And you put out milk and cookies?
172
00:09:54,050 --> 00:09:55,050
You're not Santa Claus.
173
00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:58,590
You don't know that. They both hang out
on rooftops. They do.
174
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,970
You wore a Batman shirt to meet Batman.
175
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:06,630
Yeah. Celebrities love it. I wore my
Bateman shirt when I met Jason Bateman.
176
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:08,250
And how did he react to that?
177
00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:11,010
Kind of befuddled, but that's sort of
his shtick.
178
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:12,289
He knows who he is.
179
00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,290
Okay, let me give you a little Celebrity
101, Ron.
180
00:10:14,770 --> 00:10:16,910
When you meet one, you gotta play it
cool.
181
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,150
You gotta act like you might not even
know who Batman is.
182
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,860
Gentlemen. Oh, my God, it's him!
183
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:22,880
Sir.
184
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,060
I'm sorry, I had something stuck in my
throat.
185
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,500
You need to play it cool, Teddy.
186
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,760
It's Japanese schoolgirl routine. It's
blocking my swagger.
187
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,520
I can't have you scaring him off.
188
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,000
We have business.
189
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,760
He's never going to pay you the... Wait,
why are you squeaking when you walk?
190
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,580
And why are your nipples protruding?
191
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,700
It's cold.
192
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,670
I mean, I think the real question is...
Why aren't you yours?
193
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,990
Is that a cape hanging out the back of
your pants?
194
00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:54,810
Because I'm going to the opera.
195
00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:56,710
I'm late.
196
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:58,350
Exempt.
197
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:02,050
Something's not right here.
198
00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:06,410
He's got a cape, unusually pointy
nipples. You don't think Van... A
199
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:07,169
Mexican wrestler?
200
00:11:07,170 --> 00:11:10,830
I was gonna say hiding something, but
your theory makes perfect sense.
201
00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:12,190
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
202
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,640
Anyone have any exciting weekend plans?
203
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,660
I'm taking my grandpa back to the escape
room. Oh, that's cool. He's into those?
204
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,300
No, it's just what he calls the nursing
home. He solved it again.
205
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:30,080
Oh. Well, I have some very exciting
weekend plans.
206
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:34,060
Dan's picking me up after work and
taking me away for the weekend to his
207
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:37,480
boss's house. He says it's carved into
the side of a mountain.
208
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:41,420
Fun. Um, are you sure you're ready for
that?
209
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:44,740
Uh, ready for a weekend away in a remote
location with no cell reception?
210
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,100
Uh, yeah.
211
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:47,630
We've been dating a couple... of weeks.
212
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:49,910
You know, there's a lot to do right here
in Charm City.
213
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:53,550
You know, maybe check out the new food
court at the mall or the churro spot
214
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:57,090
next to the police station or really
anywhere else extremely public and well
215
00:11:57,090 --> 00:12:01,830
-lit. I like that. Guys, I appreciate
the concern, but things are going great.
216
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:05,150
I mean, check this out. Oh, that's so
sweet.
217
00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:08,090
I bet he stole it from somewhere really
nice.
218
00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:10,250
What? You're dating a henchman.
219
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,960
A henchman? What are you talking about?
220
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,740
Okay, all Jackie's trying to say is that
Dan performs a variety of henching
221
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:19,980
services for supervillains on a
four-hire basis.
222
00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:22,120
Guys, come on. You met him once.
223
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:27,660
All right, look. Five signs you're
dating a henchman. He's got all these.
224
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,840
It's not your fault. Charm City's just
crawling with henchmen. It's an easy way
225
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:32,579
to make ends.
226
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:35,640
Yeah, it doesn't mean he's a bad guy. It
just means that he's a bad guy.
227
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,880
No, he's not.
228
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,320
Trust me. I know how to pick guys, and
he is great.
229
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:44,360
I mean, he's taking me away on a
romantic weekend to his boss's house at
230
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:48,340
the top of beautiful Skull Mountain, and
he says there's an amazing shark tank
231
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:53,540
and a ruby laser that shoots all the way
to the moon, and oh, my God, I'm dating
232
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,499
a henchman.
233
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,500
Yeah.
234
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:08,420
You've angrily stormed out here three
times, so I'm assuming you want to talk.
235
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,160
He lied to me. He's a liar.
236
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,600
Hey, at least you got a nice bracelet
out of it. All I got from my ex was a
237
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,540
kid with a serious ADD problem.
238
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:19,800
Just let it go.
239
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:24,080
No. When my ex-boyfriend dumped me, I
found out he'd been cheating on me with
240
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,120
that print model. And do you know what I
did?
241
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,260
Nothing. I took the high road, and it
felt like crap.
242
00:13:29,610 --> 00:13:31,790
Now they're getting married and I have
to buy them a pizza stone.
243
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:33,290
You're getting them something?
244
00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:36,730
Well, they sent me an invitation. It's
proper etiquette. No, but things have
245
00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:40,670
changed. For the first time ever, Emily
Locke has taken the low road.
246
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:43,950
That henshing son of a bitch has no idea
what's coming.
247
00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:50,770
This is my first time down the low road,
so I'm going to need your help.
248
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:02,619
What does he mean?
249
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,800
I just slipped and fell.
250
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,760
Please, I invented the pretend to fall
and grab a pair of breast move.
251
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,360
I had two old pairs quit over it.
252
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:15,560
Yes. Pun intended.
253
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,460
But what's your game?
254
00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:20,400
Those pecs aren't real. You're wearing
something under the suit.
255
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,960
Mm-hmm.
256
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,620
Well, if you must know, follow me.
257
00:14:33,729 --> 00:14:35,950
Yes. No. Well, not yet.
258
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,790
Maybe. Just... Okay, let me ask you
something.
259
00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:41,530
What is the best part about being a
superhero?
260
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:44,190
Protecting those who can't protect
themselves.
261
00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:47,730
No, it's about being famous and wearing
cool-ass costumes.
262
00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:53,510
That's why I had this made by my rubber
smith. I had no idea you were a closet
263
00:14:53,510 --> 00:14:55,510
superhero fan. Who's your top ten?
264
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:56,830
There's more than that.
265
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:59,600
You actually think Batman is going to
look at you, a middle-aged man who
266
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:03,960
pulled his back last week sneezing, and
say, hey, there's my new boy wonder.
267
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,400
This guy gets it. Yes, and then once we
have a good working relationship, I
268
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,540
don't know, I'm thinking I might bring
up the Maybach thing.
269
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:16,020
Quick question. Yeah. You are aware two
Robins have supposedly died on the job?
270
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:17,560
High turnover.
271
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:19,220
I'm in.
272
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,660
What's more insulting, jack-off or
jag-off?
273
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:29,220
Neither one's great. I'll just say this.
274
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:33,340
I've told off a lot of crappy men. It's
like a Vegas buffet. You will feel
275
00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:34,340
terrible afterward.
276
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,160
Yeah, but it feels great while you're
eating it.
277
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,840
Ooh, I can't wait to tear this guy anew.
278
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,640
Hey, babe.
279
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,080
What are we still doing here? It's been
an hour.
280
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,920
Okay, Batman's not going to come to the
office, so we have to meet him in his
281
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,220
office the cover of night.
282
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,520
So far, I've just seen a guy get a
handy, and I'm fairly certain that
283
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,520
wasn't Batman.
284
00:15:57,740 --> 00:16:00,320
Why are you watching a guy getting a
handy? Why is that your takeaway?
285
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,379
I just want to know.
286
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,800
Would you nerds go stand over there?
287
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:04,580
You're embarrassing me.
288
00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:06,580
Oh, my God, it's Peter.
289
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,500
Shut up, idiot.
290
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:12,320
My robin sense tells me that someone is
approaching.
291
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,660
Yeah, we heard it. You can hear that?
Yeah.
292
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,440
Oh, my God, it's him!
293
00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:25,990
Oh, God, that's not him. Not at all him.
294
00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:27,550
Boy Wonder, you got this?
295
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:29,190
Hi.
296
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:32,070
You know what rhymes with Java?
297
00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:33,890
Lava!
298
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:36,530
Oh, my God, that was a nice coffee.
299
00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:38,490
I have just made him very angry.
300
00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:43,590
All right, guys, get him out. Come on.
Here you go. Here you go. Give it up.
301
00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:46,870
Carve it up. Forgot my wallet. You did
not. He's got money in his shoe.
302
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:48,370
Keeps it in the sock.
303
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:49,750
There you go.
304
00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:50,950
Forgot about that.
305
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:53,690
I'm sorry I'm late. It's crazy busy
tonight.
306
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:55,750
Were you working in the ICU?
307
00:16:57,070 --> 00:16:59,910
No. Because I see you when you're a
liar!
308
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,129
Good Lord.
309
00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:03,130
What are you talking about?
310
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:06,410
I know you're a henchman, Dan, if that's
even your real name.
311
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:07,650
All right, fine.
312
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:08,990
I'm a henchman.
313
00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:11,190
And my name's Reggie.
314
00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,210
And I know what you're thinking.
315
00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:15,250
Not a lot of white guys named Reggie.
316
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:19,470
No, that's not what I was thinking, but
I guess that's true. Now, I... I have
317
00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:22,530
some things to say to you and you're
going to stand here and listen to them.
318
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,450
Actually, I'm not.
319
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:35,470
Please tell me this is a Japanese game
show.
320
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:39,890
Enjoying the low road?
321
00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:44,350
I really have to thank you, Emily.
322
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,780
I told the Riddler about your cell phone
cases.
323
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,220
I need to have him steal them so he can
use them to build a tank to attack
324
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:51,220
Arkham Asylum.
325
00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:54,800
Why, unprompted, did you just tell us
your entire evil plan?
326
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,520
I don't know. It's just a thing we do.
327
00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,880
Hey, for the record, I do like you.
328
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,580
I'm just really focused on my career
right now.
329
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:07,860
Ooh, that is one of the things that you
said you looked for in a man.
330
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,100
Just so you know, we're through, Dan.
331
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:11,920
I think he knows.
332
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:15,300
You have a good night now.
333
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,080
The joke's on him.
334
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,140
I only had $2,000 in my wallet.
335
00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:22,360
I can't believe he thought this would
work.
336
00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:24,180
All right, let's face it. We're not
going to need that.
337
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,180
You know what? I bet this stupid
batarang isn't even real.
338
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,200
Teddy? What? Where's the batarang?
339
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:36,880
It's right here.
340
00:18:44,270 --> 00:18:46,170
We met Batman. We met Batman.
341
00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:48,270
We met Batman.
342
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:49,970
We met Batman. We met Batman.
343
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,690
We met Batman.
344
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,670
I don't know how this keeps happening.
345
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:58,490
This? Well, not this, but meeting guys
who seem great and then turn out to be
346
00:18:58,490 --> 00:18:59,770
lying pieces of garbage.
347
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:01,790
I thought my system was perfect.
348
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:05,910
I make a list of all the qualities I'm
looking for in a guy, assign each one a
349
00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:09,790
point value, and if that number exceeds
200... Can I make a suggestion? Burn
350
00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:10,790
that list.
351
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:13,050
It's in the clouds, so I can't really do
that. You're 25.
352
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:15,930
You can't hold yourself to a list
because you don't even know what you
353
00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:20,110
want. And even when you do, you're still
going to date a bunch of terrible guys
354
00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:21,650
and have horrible things happen.
355
00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:23,410
Until I meet the right one?
356
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:28,210
Sure. Or just one who's a really good
liar. That's what I'm aiming for.
357
00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:32,890
Look, just because you can't avoid all
the dirt bags, that doesn't mean you
358
00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:33,950
don't deserve better.
359
00:19:34,650 --> 00:19:35,650
Aw.
360
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:37,030
Thanks, Jackie.
361
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:39,790
What are you doing?
362
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:44,150
I'm trying to backwards hug you. If I
don't want your front hugs, what makes
363
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,590
you think I want your back ones? Okay,
sorry.
364
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,270
Okay, we're done here.
365
00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:49,690
So you're going to let us go?
366
00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:53,570
Well, I asked the boss what he wanted to
do with you, but he answered in the form
367
00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:56,350
of a riddle and couldn't quite figure it
out. What a shock.
368
00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:58,910
What has no legs but never stops
running?
369
00:19:59,170 --> 00:20:00,170
A nose?
370
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:02,150
A refrigerator?
371
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,250
A river.
372
00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:06,610
Oh, he wants us to throw him in the
river.
373
00:20:07,130 --> 00:20:09,390
Smooth. I told you she was smart.
374
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:11,730
Would you like to tell us your SAT
scores?
375
00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:14,490
I guess I should get that bracelet back.
376
00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:20,370
It's Robin. That guy must be here.
377
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:24,750
That was weird.
378
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,930
Jackie, get a pair of scissors.
379
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:32,050
Cut me out of this suit. Emily, why are
you still at work? Get a boyfriend or
380
00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:33,050
something.
381
00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:35,710
Even just a hobby.
382
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:41,990
All right, this is like a freaky alley,
and it is pitch black. We didn't want to
383
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:45,590
be there, but we had to be there. And
these guys, I mean... It was you. It was
384
00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:47,490
all of us. It was an effort to gather.
385
00:20:48,650 --> 00:20:49,810
What are you doing?
386
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:54,390
Pretending to listen to their story. And
returning this pizza stone for story
387
00:20:54,390 --> 00:20:55,570
credit. That a girl.
388
00:20:55,930 --> 00:20:59,890
All right, this bad guy's got Batman
dead to right. And we're like, get your
389
00:20:59,890 --> 00:21:01,270
hands off our friend!
390
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:02,249
Get him off!
391
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:04,130
And then with that, he sees us.
392
00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:06,550
And then he turns around and runs.
393
00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,090
Yeah.
394
00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:11,730
That obviously never happened.
395
00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:14,950
Obviously. Obviously.
396
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:16,730
What? Come on.
397
00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:19,350
Obviously.
398
00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:22,310
Obviously.
399
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:25,510
That's funny.
30165
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