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1
00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:05,465
♪ Tuca and Bertie and Tuca and
Bertie and Bertie and Tuca ♪
2
00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:07,133
♪ And Tuca and Bertie,
Tuca and Bertie ♪
3
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,843
♪ Tu-Tu-Tuca ♪
4
00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:11,637
-♪ Tuca ♪
-♪ And Bertie. ♪
5
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:13,848
(vocalizing)
6
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,022
♪ ♪
7
00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:28,279
Leaf-raking is such
a stupid sport.
8
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,406
We could've spent
this Sunday relaxing, but...
9
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:32,992
Today's a big deal.
It's regionals.
10
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:36,704
It's all regionals.
It's a very regional game.
11
00:00:36,788 --> 00:00:39,207
Can I have some candy?
12
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:41,250
Check it out. They invented
a new kind of candy
13
00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:43,586
that looks and tastes
exactly like carrot sticks.
14
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:44,712
Mmm.
15
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:46,923
♪ ♪
16
00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:48,674
You sure you want to go, Tuca?
17
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:51,302
It's okay to still be
mourning Figgy.
18
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,679
(gasps)
Wait, Figgy died?
19
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,848
No. I just broke up with him.
20
00:00:55,932 --> 00:00:58,559
Oh. So he's just dead to us?
21
00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:01,729
Goodbye, potential friendship.
22
00:01:01,813 --> 00:01:03,898
♪ ♪
23
00:01:05,942 --> 00:01:08,528
Guys, it's not a big deal.
24
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:11,405
I haven't thought about Figgy
in hours.
25
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,825
I've been way too busy
doing a lot of un-Figgy things,
26
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:16,536
and I'm ready to rebound with
lots of un-Figgy folks.
27
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:20,456
And maybe I'll scoop up
a hot un-Figgy at this game.
28
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:23,042
Okay, everybody in. Hurry up.
29
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,462
We're running late to this
ridiculous waste of time.
30
00:01:26,546 --> 00:01:28,506
Hmm. Oh!
31
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:30,716
Here.
32
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,553
Ooh. Nice spatial reasoning.
33
00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:35,012
-(tires screeching)
-♪ Whoo! ♪
34
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:37,014
♪ Go, go ♪
35
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:41,352
♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. ♪
36
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,314
(grunts)
37
00:01:45,398 --> 00:01:46,649
-Whee!
-(groans)
38
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,150
Here we are.
39
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:50,570
The only activity less exciting
than watching paint dry.
40
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:54,073
Paint-watching
is an entirely different sport.
41
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:57,660
My game is happening in there.
42
00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:00,037
(cheering)
43
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,414
Meh.
44
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:05,167
-Oh, my God. Thomas Aukberg!
-(camera shutter clicks)
45
00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:07,003
(cheering)
46
00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:09,213
ANNOUNCER MAN:
Welcome to the Bird Town
47
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:11,174
Leaf-Raking Championships.
48
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:15,386
DAPPER DOG:
Ah, the drama
of the slatted broom.
49
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,680
Clearing away the colorful
skein of autumn
50
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,683
to make way for
the frosty rime of winter.
51
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:25,271
Today I'm joined by my new
co-announcer Dapper Dog.
52
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:28,566
Enchanté. I love
a good game of lawn harrowing.
53
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,611
Such a rustic
and scrapy croquet.
54
00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,821
Who will win the coveted
golden rake?
55
00:02:33,905 --> 00:02:35,239
Defending champions
56
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,824
the Bird Town West Hot Ciders
57
00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:39,577
or the Bird Town
East Autumn Warriors?
58
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,204
Mmm.
59
00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:44,624
TUCA:
(grunts) E'scusi. E'scusi.
60
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,792
Damn, Bertie, I hope
this game's short,
61
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,753
'cause I want to get
my rebound bang on,
62
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,838
and I'm surrounded by nuggos.
63
00:02:50,922 --> 00:02:55,468
A nuggo is a uggo
who's "not ugly" in a hot way.
64
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:56,677
Oh.
65
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,181
Give it up for our players.
66
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,391
-(cheering)
-Tom Mackinaw.
67
00:03:02,475 --> 00:03:03,684
Well, hello.
68
00:03:03,768 --> 00:03:05,227
ANNOUNCER MAN:
Tomathan McKinley.
69
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:06,938
Um, yes, please.
70
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,648
ANNOUNCER MAN:
Tomuel McThomas.
71
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:12,151
Ew. Okay. Steep drop in quality.
72
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,819
Yo, coach, trade this dud.
73
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:14,820
Hmm.
74
00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:16,572
They all look the same to me.
75
00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:18,407
You've been in a relationship
too long, Bertie.
76
00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:19,992
Your senses have been dulled.
77
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:23,996
You must hone your palate
by sniffing strangers' boxers.
78
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,498
(shudders)
79
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:28,834
And here he is, folks,
heavyweight of the Hot Ciders.
80
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:31,045
-It's Tomcholas Tomanielson.
-(cheering)
81
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,964
Oh, daddy!
82
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,257
-Hi, Daddy!
-I saw him first.
83
00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:38,010
That's him. That's my rebound.
84
00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:40,680
PEARL:
Why stop at just one?
85
00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:44,475
Why not rebound
with the entire team?
86
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,935
Hmm?
87
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:49,271
Many have tried, yet no one
has gone the full mile.
88
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:52,692
But you, yes,
you could be the one.
89
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:56,862
Come, you must meet the
Elder Council of the Stadium.
90
00:03:56,946 --> 00:04:01,158
A group of old people deciding
what I should do with my body?
91
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:04,996
Sounds fresh and original.
I'm in. Bye, y'all.
92
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:08,874
-I'm following this lady.
-Well, have fun. Stay hydrated.
93
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,043
Ooh, look. There's Thomas.
94
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:13,713
No! Ow!
95
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,715
-Oof, that's got to hurt.
-Ooh.
96
00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:18,426
Haven't seen an injury
like this since
97
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:21,512
Tom-tom-tom-tom-to...
98
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,975
...tom-tom-tom
sat on his rake in '86.
99
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,810
Daddy, are you okay?
100
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,229
I'm fine. I'm oka... Oh!
101
00:04:31,147 --> 00:04:34,817
Ow! It's way worse now.
I made it so much worse.
102
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,068
I'm not okay.
103
00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:39,155
-Oh, no.
-Oh, good. Let's go home.
104
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,865
(squeaking)
105
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:44,326
This puts the Autumn Warriors
in a tight spot for,
106
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,912
as we all know, a replacement
player must be found
107
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:50,374
within 90 seconds,
or the entire game is forfeited.
108
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,752
Drama.
109
00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,463
Terry, you have
to fill in for me!
110
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,964
If you've ever loved me, here,
111
00:04:57,048 --> 00:04:58,591
please take my rake!
112
00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:02,178
Damn it. This is also how
he proposed to me. (sighs)
113
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,096
Bertie, can you watch Tulip?
114
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:07,099
Oh, oh, no, I don't know
how to talk to children.
115
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,435
-Hello, how do you do?
-What?
116
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:12,480
See? I've got zero
natural ability with kids.
117
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:16,400
Oh, my God, what if I kill her?
What if I kill your kid?
118
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:20,404
What if I... (gasps)
do it on purpose?
119
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,947
(chuckles) It's okay.
120
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:25,034
We'll watch Tulip. If she dies,
I'll take the heat.
121
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,452
Well, I don't have time
122
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,454
to second-guess
this clearly terrible idea.
123
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,498
(kisses)
Good luck.
124
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,250
ANNOUNCER MAN:
And it looks like Thomas Aukberg
125
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:34,710
will have a replacement.
126
00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:36,837
Standing in for him is his wife
127
00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:38,214
-Terry!
-(cheering)
128
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,382
Let's get this bullshit
over with.
129
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,638
(whistle blows)
130
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,641
ANNOUNCER MAN:
And straight out of the gate,
131
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,309
here's Tomanielson
132
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:53,270
demonstrating his signature
one-handed technique.
133
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,980
(blower whirring)
134
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,275
(indistinct chatter)
135
00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,777
(grunts)
136
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,987
Yes!
137
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,572
Hey, see your mama out there?
138
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:05,741
What do you think, is she
gonna rake the most leaves?
139
00:06:05,825 --> 00:06:07,118
-Yeah.
-Hmm.
140
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,912
Child-friendly
topics of conversation.
141
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,331
Hey. Wh-What-what's
your favorite vehicle
142
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,542
used for municipal purposes?
143
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,377
You into garbage trucks or...?
144
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,088
-Hey, Bertie, you okay?
-Are you supposed to do
eye contact
145
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,673
or no eye contact with kids?
146
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:24,677
Just relax. Hey, Tulip,
look what I can do. Uh...
147
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:25,678
(giggling)
148
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,346
Ooh.
149
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,305
(giggling)
150
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,557
Ooh. Ooh, let me try.
151
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,936
Tulip, look what I found
in your ear.
152
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,188
How did that get there?
153
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,524
Is my head full of quarters?
154
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:43,487
How will my head survive in an
increasingly cashless society?
155
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,573
Food. Bribe. Change of subject.
156
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:48,534
Tulip, look! Do you eat
solids yet? What do you want?
157
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,703
-I-I'll get it for you.
-Hot dogs.
158
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,997
Ice cream. Everything!
159
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,040
-Love it. No problem.
-Yay!
160
00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,209
Hey, maybe we should
set some boundaries.
161
00:06:57,293 --> 00:06:59,420
It's something I've learned
to do with wealthy clients.
162
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:01,380
But I want Greek columns.
163
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,798
(shushing)
164
00:07:02,882 --> 00:07:05,634
Hey, let's finish
your gazebo first, okay, champ?
165
00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:07,344
You can't spoil them, Bertie.
166
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,430
It starts with Greek columns.
Then, before you know it,
167
00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:11,557
they're asking
for Tunisian columns.
168
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,559
-(munching)
-Aw, man. Bertie.
169
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:17,146
Oh, come on. When I was her age,
my parents were so checked out,
170
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,647
we never did
anything fun together.
171
00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:20,774
What if we indulge Tulip
a little,
172
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:23,402
let her have a good time?
It's just for a few hours.
173
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,864
(sighs)
Okay. We can be fun adults.
174
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,242
Exactly. But we can't kill her.
175
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,912
This is her?
176
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:34,246
Yup. I'm Tuca.
177
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:36,165
I'm ready to have
sexual intercourse
178
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:37,708
with a pile of rakesmen.
179
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,836
Oh, everyone who goes to a game
thinks it's so easy
180
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,297
to bang an entire team
of athletes.
181
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,341
But nobody's done it.
182
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,301
I got close years ago.
183
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,595
Now I can barely
look at a hot dog wiener
184
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,931
without bursting into tears.
185
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,140
(sobbing)
186
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,808
I pray every day
that people will order
187
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:58,771
the chicken tenders...
but they never do.
188
00:07:58,854 --> 00:07:59,730
(crying)
189
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,273
Well, I came in here
190
00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:03,609
with hubristic notions
and swinging hips.
191
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,820
Now I can't even
slide a key into a lock
192
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:09,490
without remembering
I'm a failure.
193
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,951
A jingling, jangling failure.
194
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,995
Oh, and I can't even back up
into a tight spot.
195
00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:17,790
Don't even ask me to drive
a stick shift.
196
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,167
Wait, please listen.
197
00:08:20,251 --> 00:08:22,419
My sisters of the stadium,
198
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:26,215
Tuca is the one. She can do it.
199
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,466
It's too hard.
200
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:30,135
Hey, everybody!
I know I can do this.
201
00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,596
And I can help you all
get your grind back, too.
202
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,139
Here's some of my stats.
203
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:37,685
When I was 22, I (honk)
a (boing) out of a (boing).
204
00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:41,188
My record for most (squeak)
in a night is 74.
205
00:08:41,272 --> 00:08:44,817
One time I (whistle)
while skydiving (whistle)
206
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,319
into a giant, juicy (boing).
207
00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:48,821
It was an (bleep).
208
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,156
Plus, look at this.
209
00:08:56,996 --> 00:08:59,915
She is... the one.
210
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,672
And now each team must pay
a youth to rake for them.
211
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,717
Can they finish the task
and maintain clean piles
212
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,970
despite their
juvenile lassitude?
213
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,973
(crowd cheering)
214
00:09:17,016 --> 00:09:20,060
Come on.
Please rake the leaves. Please.
215
00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:21,312
(laughing)
216
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,689
Ha. I had to buy our son
the same thing.
217
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,691
Oh, yeah. You just got to do
whatever you can
218
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,067
to keep them happy.
(chuckles)
219
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,193
And alive.
220
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,903
Anything that works, am I right?
221
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,530
(chuckles)
That is correct.
222
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:35,242
Before I had kids, I was so
careful and nervous around them.
223
00:09:35,326 --> 00:09:36,660
But now I'm like you guys.
224
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,746
I'm all, "Just have fun, kiddo.
225
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:41,040
"Go ahead and shove dirt
straight down your gullet.
226
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,291
See if I care."
227
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,752
It's nice to meet
other cool parents.
228
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,879
Most adults are so uptight.
229
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,714
Us? Cool?
230
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,966
And how old is she?
Your daughter?
231
00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:54,428
Oh. Tulip's actually,
she's, um...
232
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,388
Our daughter, yes!
233
00:09:56,472 --> 00:10:01,852
And she's five, six, seven--
six and a half-- three-quarters.
234
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,730
6 3/4. Eh.
235
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,982
Yup. Tulip's our own
little hatchling.
236
00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:11,779
And my name is...
Ch-Christopher, with a "V."
237
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,615
And... Tulip's
a musical prodigy.
238
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,658
-Wow.
-Eh.
239
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:17,701
She plays the horn.
240
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,203
Oh. Which one?
241
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,455
Well, you know, the one that has
a lot of, uh, buttons,
242
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,831
and you can wear it as pants.
243
00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:27,920
And it goes, "Wam, bwam."
You know that one?
244
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,254
Impressive.
245
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:31,882
It's so nice to hang out
with other parents.
246
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,302
-Oh, absolutely.
-So nice.
247
00:10:35,386 --> 00:10:37,888
New friends.
248
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,974
♪ I know I'm set for glory ♪
249
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:44,561
-Mmm. Uh... (laughs)
-♪ Nothing's gonna stop me now ♪
250
00:10:45,396 --> 00:10:47,439
♪ Here's my story ♪
251
00:10:47,523 --> 00:10:48,857
Uh-huh.
252
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,692
♪ And no one's gonna
tell me how ♪
253
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,694
-♪ I gotta do it right ♪
-(laughing)
254
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,198
♪ I'm gonna
shine bright tonight. ♪
255
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,950
(all laughing)
256
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:01,787
Tuca, you've done
so much to help us.
257
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,289
Now there's just the matter
of humping that team.
258
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:07,292
No! We can't let her do it.
She'll get hurt.
259
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:10,963
But she's the one.
She can get us out of here.
260
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:13,966
She must save herself.
No one will ever free us.
261
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,968
She'll be sucked into the curse.
262
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,470
-What now?
-Ah, we got to tell her.
263
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:24,059
Fine. Okay. Tuca, there's
a curse on this stadium.
264
00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:26,979
An entire team must get screwed,
265
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:30,232
and six full orgasms
must be achieved.
266
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,525
And good ones, too.
267
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,986
None of those
weird little numb ones.
268
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,988
If there aren't six players laid
269
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:39,950
and six female climaxes achieved
before night falls on game day,
270
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,910
anyone who attempts
to break the curse
271
00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:44,580
is trapped
in the stadium forever.
272
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,790
Oh, we've been here for decades.
273
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,500
We sleep on the field.
274
00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:50,043
(crickets chirping)
275
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,170
(snoring)
276
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:54,673
So, anyone have a new crush?
277
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,759
Nobody has ever successfully
broken the curse.
278
00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:00,971
If you try and fail,
you'll be stuck here with us,
279
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,475
and you'll have
to work at the gift shop.
280
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,518
Well, it's the crappiest job
281
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,687
because you have to sell
collectibles
282
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,731
to the worst kind of nerd...
283
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,025
-jock nerds.
-(cawing)
284
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,109
Damn.
285
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:15,194
I'm not worried.
286
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,904
-None of this worries me.
-Really?
287
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:20,199
Six orgasms is nothing to me.
I can be super horny.
288
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,950
Just watch.
289
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,831
-(gasps)
-Ho-ho-ho!
290
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,708
(buzzing)
291
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,754
She's even more the one
than she was before.
292
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,381
The one-iest one.
293
00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:38,300
She is ready.
294
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:43,514
Yeah, Tommy. Good raking
technique. Keep up the pace.
295
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,057
Eyes on the leaves, boys.
296
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:48,477
I'm seeing clusters,
and I want to see piles.
297
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,521
-(cheering)
-Good work. Good hustle.
298
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,524
(whoops)
Rake it, honey! Ow.
299
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:54,691
(panting)
300
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:55,943
(grunts)
301
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:57,986
Ow!
302
00:12:58,070 --> 00:13:00,280
(laughs)
Nice!
303
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:02,574
This game is so dumb.
304
00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,409
So, yeah,
me and Bertie and Tulip
305
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,246
all live in, like,
a big house, but it's tasteful.
306
00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:11,416
And we grow all our own salads,
because I can keep plants alive.
307
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:15,045
And we own a swimming pool
full of candy.
308
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,296
We do.
309
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,548
Yes, we do.
310
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,424
You know, work keeps me
pretty busy,
311
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,593
since I run everything at, uh,
312
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,262
my own restaurant.
313
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,556
Bertie's Family Restaurant.
314
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,183
Yeah, and I'm
a stay-at-home dad.
315
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,894
The second I looked
into little Tulip's eyes,
316
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:34,481
I knew I was no longer
just a person.
317
00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:36,692
I was now a father.
318
00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:39,319
You love being a father.
319
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:42,781
Yeah. It just gives my days
so much structure and meaning.
320
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:45,325
-It's so fulfilling.
-Um, wow.
321
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,286
And I'm a... a mom.
322
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,747
Look at you. You've got it all.
323
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,708
(chuckles nervously)
Sure do.
324
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:56,628
Wow. We're both
in telemarketing.
325
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,298
ANNOUNCER MAN:
Now our players are doing
326
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,550
what every raker must do
mid-rake--
327
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:04,428
pause to stare
into middle distance
328
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:07,431
and marvel at the slow
passage of time.
329
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,558
Another summer come and gone.
330
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:12,019
Soon we will be as the leaves,
331
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:15,105
our days of splendor
long forgotten.
332
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,690
Watch us tumble, tumble,
333
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:21,528
tumble on our irreversible
descent to earth.
334
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,448
And now for our halftime show:
335
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,326
a dead rabbit
slowly decomposing.
336
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,745
(cheering)
337
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,040
There it is, the players' lair.
338
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,750
Halftime is starting.
339
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:37,002
-(slaps)
-Go get those Hot Ciders, Tuca.
340
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,462
All six of 'em.
341
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:39,880
Thank you for believing in me
342
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,341
and my ability to bounce
from wiener to wiener.
343
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,051
I won't let you down.
344
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,555
Oh. It's you!
345
00:14:48,639 --> 00:14:49,848
Oh-ho-ho. Howdy.
346
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,892
Gosh. You're glowing
like a porch light,
347
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:54,061
and I feel
like a big old June beetle.
348
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,104
Yeah. Come to Tuca.
349
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:58,982
Yes, ma'am. I am down to sashay.
350
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,276
(grunting rhythmically)
351
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,111
(laughing)
352
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,279
Whoa, Tulip.
353
00:15:04,363 --> 00:15:05,697
E-Easy girl.
(chuckles nervously)
354
00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:07,032
(growling)
355
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,992
Here. Do you want to play
a game on my phone?
356
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,328
-(synthesizer music playing)
-Ah...
357
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,872
Clickity-clicks. Lighty-lights.
358
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,083
In-app purchasy-purchases.
359
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:19,211
Uh, you know, a-actually,
I'm gonna take that back.
360
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,379
(crunch)
361
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,214
Ow! Okay. It didn't
break the skin.
362
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,965
I think it was just
a warning. Huh.
363
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,676
(screaming)
364
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,927
I want phone!
365
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:30,097
My phone baby!
Give me back my baby!
366
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,140
-(crying)
-Hey, kiddo.
367
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,101
Let's just save
some of this energy
368
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,477
for horn rehearsal tonight.
369
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,856
Or, as us horn parents say,
"rehornsal."
370
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:40,941
-(groans)
-(giggling)
371
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,442
Speckle, let her have some fun.
372
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,319
Come on, she'll burn
this energy off eventually.
373
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:45,570
You push her too hard.
374
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:47,739
She can have fun doing
something calmer
375
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:49,032
and less bite-y.
376
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,076
Look at Gavin.
377
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,703
♪ ♪
378
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,997
(giggles)
Watch me swim. Whee!
379
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:59,459
Ah. Now do you see why we need
more boundaries with her?
380
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,586
It's basic parenting.
381
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:02,879
(screaming)
382
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,674
Oh, no. We killed her!
383
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:06,967
(giggling)
384
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,594
Ah! She's still alive!
385
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,347
(moaning)
386
00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:14,641
ANNOUNCER MAN:
Things are heating up.
Oh, it's on, folks.
387
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:16,101
It's happening.
388
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,477
(moaning)
389
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,107
Figgy?
390
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,942
Figgy!
391
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,497
Figgy!
392
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,461
(grunts)
393
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,296
ANNOUNCER MAN:
Oh, this is not pretty, folks.
394
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,631
It looks like they still haven't
gotten over their last loss.
395
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,008
Hey, maybe we should stop.
396
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,970
No! Pushing... through... it.
397
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,431
Uh, no offense, ma'am,
398
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,141
but that pelvis sounds like
a broken woodchipper, and, uh,
399
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,976
it's making my pecker
freeze up something fierce.
400
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,186
(sighs)
401
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,645
Let me just think
some horny thoughts.
402
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:04,065
Sex. Sex with people.
403
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:07,277
Ooh, sex with objects. Sexy sex.
404
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,362
(engine stalling)
405
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,156
ANNOUNCER MAN:
And you hate to see this, folks.
406
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:14,159
They're really forcing
an unnatural play here,
407
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,244
-and it is not flowing.
-(groaning)
408
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,330
(crying):
I can't do it!
409
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,499
(wailing)
410
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,461
(crowd cheering)
411
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,839
Where is she?
412
00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:29,925
See? I knew this would happen.
413
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,510
She's halfway through
an epic sugar bender.
414
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,512
She's gonna crash
and tank her rehornsal tonight.
415
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:37,474
She could use a little support
from her father right now.
416
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:41,019
Oh, easy for you to say.
417
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:44,523
You're busy working long hours
while I raise our child!
418
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,191
That is so unfair!
419
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:49,569
Who do you think pays
for all that horn tutoring, huh?
420
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:50,695
(panting)
421
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,823
-(grunts)
-(crowd cheering)
422
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,366
-Whoa!
-Tulip?
423
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,450
-(giggles)
-Tulip.
424
00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:57,035
Whee! Whoa!
425
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,829
(panting)
426
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,622
-Wow!
-Damn it!
427
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,083
Look at me, Mommy. I can fly.
428
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,085
Wait, why are we
fighting about this?
429
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,045
Tulip's not even really our kid.
430
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,964
(crickets chirping)
431
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,633
Well, what about
when we do have kids?
432
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,218
How is this going to work
433
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,303
if we have totally conflicting
parenting philosophies?
434
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,848
I didn't realize
we were going to have kids.
435
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,642
Well, I don't want to,
but you clearly do.
436
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:24,563
You said that stuff about how
meaningful fatherhood is to you.
437
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,731
I thought
we were making shit up!
438
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:28,942
You said you could
keep plants alive!
439
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,318
But what if I'm holding you back
440
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,237
from a happy life
of having children?
441
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,905
You're so good with them.
442
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,575
I just assumed you wanted
some of your own.
443
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:40,287
-Not at all!
-Nor I, neither!
444
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:41,997
So we agree!
445
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,458
Same page, all the way!
446
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,835
(both sigh)
447
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,422
(crowd cheering)
448
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:51,798
(Tulip giggles)
449
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,551
-Tulip.
-(whistle blows)
450
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,720
♪ ♪
451
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:58,555
(giggles)
452
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,390
-Ah...!
-Whoa!
453
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,559
(crowd cheering)
454
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:08,732
(buzzing)
455
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,233
♪ ♪
456
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,778
And the Autumn Warriors
win the game!
457
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:16,031
(chanting):
Terry! Terry!
458
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,991
Sweetie. You did it!
459
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:22,704
Yep. This was your dream,
and it was easy.
460
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,834
I (bleep) it up.
And not in a hot way.
461
00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:31,338
Part of me wanted it so bad,
but I just couldn't.
462
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:34,049
Aw, yeah. It happens.
463
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,468
Your body can be
in pristine condition,
464
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,470
but if your mind isn't right...
465
00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:39,638
I failed.
466
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,973
My goal was to do
the entire team,
467
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,600
and none of them got done.
468
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,478
Actually, Tuca, listen.
469
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,980
(moaning)
470
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:51,816
The entire team is getting did.
471
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,818
And it's all because of you.
472
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,987
(moaning)
473
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,323
Tuca, you helped us realize
474
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,660
we've been holding
ourselves back all these years.
475
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,411
We could've been
hotdogging each other
476
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,997
and entire teams all along.
477
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,582
We were locked in the past.
478
00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:10,168
That's how we failed ourselves
and lost our way.
479
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,587
But you were the key
to our slots, Tuca.
480
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:13,505
(whoops)
481
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:14,923
Thank you for showing us
482
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,550
how to believe in
ourselves again, Tuca.
483
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,678
The curse is almost...
484
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,514
(moaning)
485
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:27,602
Okay, whew, that was six.
The curse is broken now!
486
00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:31,606
Oh, wow.
It smells funny in here.
487
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,274
Wow, this is real nice.
488
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,193
I'm enjoying this postgame orgy.
489
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,070
Good for you, dude.
490
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,822
Hey, whose butt is that?
491
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,281
Oh... (laughs) Not a butt.
492
00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:42,075
Just some ice cream.
I'm gonna eat these later.
493
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,369
Oh, sounds good.
494
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,412
More ice cream?
495
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,914
Hi. (laughs) I'm a butt.
496
00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:49,624
Got to get back to work now.
497
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:52,794
I guess I'm finally
admitting to myself
498
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,879
that I'm really sad about
breaking up with Figgy.
499
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,882
Yeah, but that doesn't mean
you can't (bleep).
500
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,592
Look down.
501
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:02,762
You're back in action.
502
00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:06,224
Yeah, but now I got
no one to do it with.
503
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,561
Not no one. Look down again.
504
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,354
(both grunting)
505
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,609
And that's
how I think sex works.
506
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:18,778
Oh.
507
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:20,905
So... Sorry we lied.
508
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,615
Oh, it's no biggie.
509
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:24,075
We were lying, too.
510
00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:25,285
We're grifters.
511
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:27,746
Here you go.
I grifted your wallet.
512
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,248
Wow. What?
Is this even your son?
513
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,834
Oh, yeah. He's top of his class
at grifting school.
514
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,753
Actually, Dad, I made that up.
515
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:37,797
I've just been going
to the arcade this whole time.
516
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:39,632
It was a grift.
517
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,426
Aw. That's our boy.
518
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,803
(chuckles)
Excellent grift, son.
519
00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:45,430
-(sighs)
-Ooh-wee.
520
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:46,765
Oh.
521
00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:51,519
Wait, where are you going?
The curse has been lifted.
522
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:54,022
We know. But we still live here.
523
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:55,440
This is our home.
524
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,108
It's so dark out there.
525
00:21:57,192 --> 00:21:59,444
I can't sleep without
the stadium lights
526
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:00,945
beaming down on me.
527
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:04,532
Plus, this way, we can keep
(bleep)ing more teams.
528
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:06,785
(cheering)
529
00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:08,828
Yeah, baby!
530
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:12,290
♪ We're raking it up ♪
531
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:15,251
♪ Raking it up tonight ♪
532
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,464
♪ We're raking it up ♪
533
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,716
♪ Till the feeling's right ♪
534
00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:27,639
♪ Oh, I want you
to rake me there ♪
535
00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,474
♪ Rake it all night ♪
536
00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:30,809
♪ It's just not fair ♪
537
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:33,019
♪ Oh, baby ♪
538
00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:35,396
♪ Raking it up ♪
539
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,110
♪ Oh, baby ♪
540
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:42,320
♪ Raking me down. ♪
541
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,032
(squishing)
542
00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:49,327
Dang it.
I'm never invited to these.
543
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:57,377
(dogs barking)
35842
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