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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,287 This is Willowbrook, 2 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,456 the littlest town with the biggest heart 3 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,541 right here in the center of Kansas. 4 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,710 You know, I know everybody in this town, 5 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,295 and I know all their stories. 6 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,714 But no story is crazier 7 00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:51,926 than the story of Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. 8 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:53,738 Hey, Ollie. 9 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,323 And that's Gail right there. 10 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:58,076 She's a shining light around these parts. 11 00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,369 You know, I don't like playing favorites 12 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:00,620 with people in the town 13 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:01,788 but fuck it, I don't give a shit. 14 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,039 Gail's my favorite. 15 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,124 And in just a couple of weeks, 16 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,625 we're all gonna be gathering 17 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:06,960 to go to her wedding to Tom, 18 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,378 her high school sweetheart. 19 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,130 -Hi, Frank. -Morning! 20 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,340 And as for me, 21 00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:14,050 - well, my name is Frank. - Hey, Frank! 22 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,635 And if you haven't figured it out from context, 23 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,220 what I do for a living, 24 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,139 maybe this big bag of mail will help clue you in. 25 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,266 Still stumped? 26 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,685 Well, let me give you another little hint. 27 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,854 I'm a mailman. 28 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,398 Think you got it now? But enough about me. 29 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,233 This story's really about Gail. 30 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,610 There's a tornado brewing on the horizon, 31 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,988 and it all starts with an innocent conversation 32 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:36,573 at the hair salon where she works 33 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,241 - with her best friend, Otto. - Hi. 34 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,285 -Good morning! -Hello! Hi, honey! 35 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,495 Hi, Ronald! Sorry I'm late! 36 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,247 Gail, sweetie, we're just talking about 37 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,499 the celebrity free pass. Who's yours? 38 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,792 -Celebrity free pass? -Yeah. 39 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,169 -What's that? -Oh, you know, 40 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,503 it's like, uh, each member of a couple 41 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,005 gets one celebrity that, 42 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,840 given the chance, they could have sex with. 43 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,550 -Ah! -Right? 44 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:56,676 And the other one gives them a free pass to do so. 45 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,469 -Mine is Liam Neeson. -Oh. 46 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,430 Because I suspect in the bedroom, 47 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,390 he has a particular set of skills. 48 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,893 Oh, you're bad! 49 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,770 Tom is obviously my celebrity pass. 50 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,565 After all, he was the starting quarterback on the Wildcats. 51 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,816 Okay, but if you had to pick someone 52 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,818 who was not your boyfriend? 53 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,196 -He's my fiance, Otto. -Oh. 54 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,697 I finally got him to buy the cow 55 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,282 after giving him all my milk for free. 56 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,659 -Take that, Mom! -Honey, don't I know it? 57 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,620 I mean, I am gonna be standing right by your side, 58 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,914 absolutely sobbing like I'm watching 59 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,498 Schindler's List for the 12th time. 60 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,958 I thought you only watched it 11 times. 61 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,668 I watched it again last night. 62 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,420 Anyway, I gotta get myself a fancy suit for the big day 63 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,255 when I'm in LA this weekend. 64 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,007 -That's right! -Mm-hmm. 65 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,009 You're going to the West Coast Hairstyling Expo. 66 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,636 I'm really jealous of you. 67 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,554 Oh, well, get ready to be mucho jealous. 68 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,432 "Mucho jealous"? Look at you. 69 00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:45,683 Sprinkling a little 70 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,976 -Spanish in there? -Mm. 71 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,229 Who knew that you were bilingual? 72 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,688 Uh, honey, I'm bi-everything. 73 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:51,856 Biweekly? 74 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,191 -Okay, you got me. -Got you. 75 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,442 Anyway, my point is, 76 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,486 guess who's gonna be at the expo? 77 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,363 -Who? -Hairstyling guru... 78 00:03:58,446 --> 00:03:59,697 Wait for it. 79 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,242 Remy Fontaine. 80 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:03,910 Remy Fontaine is gonna be there? 81 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,453 - That's right! - Remy Fontaine! 82 00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,914 King of the whip curl Remy Fontaine? 83 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:09,666 His Royal Highness himself. 84 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,919 - I'm even more jealous. - Mm-hmm. 85 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,295 I've never been to California. 86 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,672 I've never even been out of the state. 87 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:17,966 Honey, why don't you come with me? 88 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,467 Quick three-day trip. 89 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:22,136 We'll hobnob with all the Hollywood stars 90 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,680 at the Universal CityWalk. 91 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,682 Ugh. I can't, there's so much going on here. 92 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,267 I'm forcing Tom to drive me into the city 93 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,810 to go to a book signing later 94 00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,979 and the wedding's in two weeks, so... 95 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,313 Los Angeles sounds amazing. 96 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,940 Doesn't it, Ronald? 97 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,442 Los Angeles? Ugh. Too many people there. 98 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,236 Yeah, that's what Ronald said. 99 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,904 And as for the free pass thing, 100 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,031 the only celebrity I've ever had a crush on 101 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,908 is a certain Wildcats head cheerleader. 102 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,243 Oh, that's sweet. 103 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,577 You've always been the bagel 104 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,496 under and on top of my cream cheese. 105 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,873 Aw. But if you did have to pick a celebrity... 106 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,542 Tilda Swinton. She'd be my pass. 107 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,751 Oh. 108 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,336 -What about you? -I don't know. 109 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,921 Honestly, I never thought about it. 110 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,339 Well, what about Jon Hamm? 111 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,882 Didn't you think about him 112 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,592 when you used to use the handheld shower head? 113 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,386 When I was like 16... 114 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,762 through 19. 115 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,390 Now I really regret telling you that. 116 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,725 We're never getting stoned again. 117 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:11,060 Oof. Fine by me. It's too expensive. 118 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,353 Anyway, that's perfect. 119 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,105 Jon Hamm's your celebrity pass. 120 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,857 Okay. Can we move on now? 121 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:19,027 -Anything for my bagel. -Thank you, my cream cheese! 122 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,321 "Chop one medium-sized onion. 123 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,488 "Fine. 124 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,657 "Chop one stalk of celery. 125 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,410 "Fine. Chop two cloves of garlic. 126 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,454 "Add one pound of ground beef..." 127 00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:30,997 She's incredible. 128 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,042 No, you're not wrong. Color me impressed. 129 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,669 "Salt and pepper to taste. 130 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:40,423 "Enjoy with one to two glasses of tap water." 131 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,217 Wow. 132 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:46,179 -Aw, thank you. -Whoo-hoo! 133 00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,597 Yeah. Just... 134 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,223 - Thank you so much. - Hi. 135 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,893 Thank you so much for coming. 136 00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:53,436 Appreciate it so much. 137 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,855 Oh, hi. I'm Gail. I'm such a big fan of yours. 138 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,940 And not just of the cookbook. I've seen your acting on TV, 139 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,275 -and the movies... -Thank you. 140 00:05:59,359 --> 00:05:59,942 ...even before The Morning Show. 141 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,694 That's so sweet. 142 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,030 Sorry, where are my manners? This is my fiance, Tom. 143 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,490 I've never seen any of your stuff. 144 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,033 We're getting married on the 27th. 145 00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:08,493 Oh, you're so cute. 146 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,786 I'm gonna do something special for you. 147 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,871 - You are? - Yes. Yes, I am. 148 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,042 Oh, I won't cheat. 149 00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,294 Mm-hmm. 150 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:20,463 Yep. 151 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,756 She smells so good. 152 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:22,632 Okay. 153 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,303 - Enjoy that. - Thank you so much. 154 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,513 You're so welcome. 155 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,099 Oh, my gosh! 156 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,060 She's even nicer in person than she is in the cookbook. 157 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:37,313 I have to admit, I never felt one way or the other about her. 158 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,232 But you were right. She's fantastic. 159 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,983 -She's got a new fan. -Yeah? 160 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,402 Oh, you gonna change 161 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,486 your celebrity pass to Jennifer Aniston? 162 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:44,487 You know what? 163 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,155 Yeah, sure. Why not? 164 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,698 Okay, Jennifer Aniston, it is. 165 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,326 But that means if you meet Tilda Swinton somewhere, 166 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,620 you have to keep your hands to yourself. 167 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,539 Got it. If Tilda Swinton knocks on the door 168 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,957 and wants to hop in the sack, 169 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,041 I'm gonna tell her, "Not today, Tilda." 170 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,418 Not today! 171 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,878 Do you remember 172 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,171 -where we parked the car? -Yeah, it's that way. 173 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,381 Your fiance remembers everything. 174 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,632 Ah! Except my keys. 175 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,050 Oh. 176 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,718 Which are in my jacket, which I left inside. 177 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,178 -Okay. -I'm sorry. 178 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,513 -That's fine! Okay. -Give me two minutes. 179 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,601 Okay. Scrambled eggs, butter toast, pancakes. 180 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,353 Just add water. That sounds so good. 181 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,021 Instant oatmeal with honey. 182 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,566 Bagel with cream cheese. "Bagel with cream cheese." 183 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,692 Where is he? 184 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,652 Sir! Sir? 185 00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,195 Hi. Excuse me, sir. 186 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,448 My fiance came back here over an hour ago. 187 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,285 Tom? Hello? 188 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,370 -Try here. -Thank you so much. 189 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,746 Hello? 190 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,498 Oh, yeah. Yeah, right there. 191 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:38,374 So, what do you think? We start with season one, or... 192 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,876 Yeah, sure. 193 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:40,751 I'll have my assistant get you the DVDs. 194 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,670 Tom? 195 00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:45,923 Gail! I was just about to text you. 196 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,676 I thought you were looking for your coat. But you're... 197 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:50,470 You're... 198 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,096 Gail, this was my one free pass. 199 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,222 Remember earlier? 200 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,766 You took it literally? 201 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,518 Hold on. I'm getting a little worried here. 202 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,604 Just a second. Uh, you know, um... 203 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,397 Tom said that you were okay with this. 204 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,025 I mean, otherwise, I would have never done it, you know? 205 00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:06,152 I mean, I respect your commitment way too much. 206 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,570 Tom, you said she was okay with this. 207 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,197 Yes, we talked about this before. 208 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,907 So, what's happening? I don't understand. 209 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,742 Gail, please tell Jennifer Aniston about the free pass. 210 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,577 -Please call me Jen. -This is not happening. 211 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,913 I just came in to get my jacket and I couldn't find it. 212 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,623 Yeah. And then I saw him really distraught, 213 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,416 so I thought, "Okay, let me help him." 214 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,168 And then I thought, "This is a really special guy." 215 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,753 -Aw. -And, well, you would know. 216 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,338 I mean, you're marrying him. 217 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,423 And then he told me about the celebrity pass, 218 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,133 and I thought, "Well, what the hell?" 219 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,052 We're right here. Why not? 220 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,137 Be a great story for you guys to tell at your wedding. 221 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,931 Fun half hour for me. 222 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,934 But you know what? I'm a very instinctual person, 223 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,727 and I'm kind of really getting the idea 224 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,395 that you're super not into this. 225 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,818 I am so glad you changed your mind. 226 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,905 I thought it was like a silly little exercise. 227 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:54,492 Not literal license to have sex with Rachel from Friends. 228 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,077 Forget about him, Gail. 229 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,620 We're gonna have so much fun in LA this weekend. 230 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,372 Yeah. 231 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,749 - What's in here? - Those are all just hairbrushes. 232 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,210 I'm a... I'm a hairstylist. 233 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,255 Don't worry. I'm... I'm cool. 234 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,799 I have a steel plate in my head, 235 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,927 and I have the paperwork from my doctor right here. 236 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:15,012 Yeah, I had an accident with a pinata. 237 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,473 You think I look bad? You should see the pinata. 238 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,268 All right, Universal CityWalk. Bubba Gump Shrimp. Whoo! 239 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,744 Welcome to Los Angeles. 240 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,246 For your safety, 241 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,872 please be aware of mudslides... 242 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,499 Hi. My name is Gail. 243 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,084 ...and earthquakes. 244 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,211 Uh, listen, there's no flowery way to say this. 245 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,172 I have to take a mondo shit, so I'll be back in a sec. 246 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,757 Mm. 247 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,682 Come on, there's no chance that's him. 248 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,100 -Oh, my God. -It is him. 249 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,686 Oh, my God. 250 00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,521 Mr. Henry Winkler. We are huge fans. 251 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,231 -Thank you so much. -Oh, my... Otto! 252 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,108 Mr. Winkler, hey, look, look, look. 253 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,277 - I have a tattoo of your face! - Looks just like me. 254 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,696 Yeah, I got this when I was stupid drunk in Key West. 255 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:14,822 No regrets, Mr. Winkler. 256 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,532 - No regrets. - Otto! 257 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,575 - Can we get a photo? - It would be my pleasure. 258 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,035 -Really? -Come on, come on. 259 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,369 - Yeah? - Let's do it quickly. 260 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,787 I got a plane to catch. 261 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,289 Do you want me to take the picture? 262 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:25,166 - Oh, yeah. - Just step over here. 263 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,251 Lighting is everything. Here we go. 264 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,462 Happy Days. Night Shift. Arrested Development. 265 00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,464 -Barry. -Hey, those are my credits. 266 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,757 Henry frickin' Winkler! 267 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,091 I have a plane. 268 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,509 -Thank you, thank you. -Okay. 269 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:36,802 -Thank you, young lady. -Thank you so much. 270 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,012 - I'm a big fan. - Thank you. 271 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,930 -Hey! -Hey! 272 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,641 Yeah, I used to say that. 273 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,851 Thank you. Take care, guys. 274 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,686 Wow! And they say never meet your heroes. 275 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,314 -What a mensch. -Oh! Unbelievable. 276 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,524 Hey, what are you... Don't put the case down. 277 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,568 We lose this, we're dead men. 278 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,028 Well, sometimes we make exceptions to even 279 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,321 the most important rules... 280 00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:57,782 ...when celebrities are involved. 281 00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:00,076 Sorry. I spaced for a second. Can you repeat that, please? 282 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,578 I said, sometimes we make exceptions 283 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,373 to even the most important rules when celebrities are involved. 284 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,541 Hey. 285 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,293 I just saw my first Hollywood celebrity. 286 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,212 No way. Who? Give me a hint. 287 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,505 -Jewish. -Henry Winkler. 288 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:13,923 - Yes! - Yes! 289 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,966 Oh, my God! Wow! 290 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,761 Okay. We are definitely in Hollywood now, huh? Wow. 291 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,348 Welcome to LAX... 292 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,102 Get in. 293 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:36,362 Um... Pardon me. 294 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,197 We don't speak Italian. 295 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,117 Okay, so I ask again. 296 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,662 Has the briefcase left your person at any time? 297 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:48,124 Sorry, you said, "I ask again," but to be fair, 298 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,376 this is the first time we're hearing the question 299 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,627 in a language we understand. 300 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,504 And, no, I assure you, 301 00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:56,465 I've had the case by my side the entire trip. 302 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,008 Mm. 303 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,886 You know, as a teenager, 304 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,264 I dreamed of only two things. 305 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:07,017 The first was to rid myself of what was, at that time, 306 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,520 a truly horrible case of acne. 307 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,730 Oh. 308 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,899 The second dream was to dismantle 309 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:17,027 the corrupt global financial system, 310 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:22,491 leaving in its place a storm of chaos and anarchy. 311 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,618 I mean, go big or go home, right? 312 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,829 Dream number one was realized 313 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,165 by the time I was 19. 314 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,835 -See? See? Look. -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 315 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,420 - Beautiful. - All clear. 316 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,088 -Like a porcelain doll. -Like a freshly peeled egg. 317 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,048 But dream number two... 318 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,177 Well, technically, it might be dream number three 319 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,597 because there was a short time when dream number two 320 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,392 was to sing an aria from La Boheme at La Scala. 321 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,685 -Wow. -Oh, holy shmoly. 322 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,021 But that was a lot of, you know... 323 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,774 When push came to shove, I wanted a social life. 324 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,567 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Mm. Yeah. 325 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,194 So dream... 326 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,488 Let's call it dream number three 327 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,199 had remained just that, a dream. 328 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,909 The one about dismantling the financial system. 329 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,535 That's the one. 330 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,039 A lifetime of sacrifice, 331 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,208 pain and sorrow 332 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,211 has led me to what's inside this case. 333 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:19,381 My dream, number three. 334 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,883 -What a journey. -Amazing. 335 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,437 -That's you. -You want me to... 336 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:34,897 Yep. 337 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,732 Are you quite sure... 338 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,236 you never let go of my case? 339 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,029 Quite sure. 340 00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:44,824 I would bet my life on it. 341 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:49,328 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 342 00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:51,330 Oh, my Lord! 343 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,249 Sergio, can you explain this? 344 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,751 Thinking... Thinking more carefully... 345 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,129 Yes, there was a moment at the airport 346 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,840 where he put down the case. 347 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,550 I was very mad. 348 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,845 But, yes, he put it down. I was very mad at you. Uh... 349 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,848 - "Gail Daughtry, hairdresser." - God. 350 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,104 Again, I... 351 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,480 You know what? 352 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,191 I think... I think I get the sentiment. 353 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,151 You want... You want me to find the... 354 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,445 You want me to find the girl and then get... 355 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,864 -Then get the case back? -Now! 356 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,198 Yes! Yes! Yes! 357 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,498 We're not in Kansas anymore. 358 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,250 Yeah. Right? 359 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,085 Welcome to the City of Angels, folks... 360 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,295 -Whoo! -...where the streets 361 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,588 are paved with gold. 362 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,381 Oh, thank you. My name is Gail. 363 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,549 -This is... -No, no. 364 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:44,842 Names are not necessary. 365 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,760 All I need is a destination. 366 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:50,180 Yeah. The Sunset Grandeur Hotel. 367 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,432 -3225... -3225 368 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:52,808 Hollywood Boulevard. I know it well. 369 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,935 Hmm. 370 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,604 Now, I'll give you a little piece of advice 371 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,272 I give everyone when they arrive. 372 00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,232 A lot of people come into town thinking overnight 373 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,192 they're gonna be the next Elizabeth Perkins. 374 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,694 But let me tell you something. 375 00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:05,029 Liz Perkins did not become 376 00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:06,989 Tom Hanks' love interest in Big 377 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,824 - right off the bat. - Hmm. 378 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,535 And you can't do what Liz Perkins does. 379 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,995 You gotta be you! 380 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,413 There's only one Liz Perkins, 381 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:18,083 and her name happens to be Elizabeth Perkins. 382 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,752 You know what? I'm very tired. 383 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:22,421 Do you mind if I pull over, take a quick power nap? 384 00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,632 Can you not make it? 385 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,175 You know what? I can power through. 386 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,927 I'll power... I can do it. I can power through. 387 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,803 Everyone is such a character 388 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,180 -in this town, huh? -Yeah. 389 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,098 Did you deliver the case? 390 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,642 There was a problem. 391 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:37,853 The boss was not happy, so she, uh... 392 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,439 She killed Marco right in front of my face. 393 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:43,984 Oh. God. I'm so sorry, Sergio. 394 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,570 I need to find this Gail Daughtry, 395 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,072 or Ludovica's gonna kill me, too. 396 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,408 Yeah, we'll find this "Gail." 397 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,246 And as much as we mourn the loss of Marco... 398 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,123 we'll celebrate the life he led, huh? 399 00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,583 Yeah, his life was cut short 400 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,211 but he was lucky to be one of the very few 401 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,254 to count Mr. Henry Winkler as one of his good friends. 402 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,381 -Huh? -Oh! 403 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,466 I buried the lede. 404 00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,468 We met Henry friggin' Winkler at LAX! 405 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,844 -No shit? -Yeah. 406 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,429 -Vinnie Barbarino. -One and the same. 407 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,058 Here we go. Gail Daughtry. 408 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,935 Arrived at LAX this morning. 409 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,186 Leaving Sunday. 410 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,563 No hotel reservations. 411 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,274 -We have to find that case. -Let me tell you something. 412 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,568 We are gonna find the case, 413 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:29,488 and Gail Daughtry is gonna get a bullet 414 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,240 in the back of the brain. 415 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,084 Here we are. Right by 416 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,836 the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 417 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,921 Now keep your eyes peeled, because Liz Perkins 418 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,464 -could be anywhere. -Oh. 419 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,884 This place is incredible. 420 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,302 It really is. 421 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,471 There's Remy Fontaine! 422 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,515 Okay, you do know he created the whip curl, right? 423 00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,017 Yes. What? Of course. 424 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,852 I'm as much of a Fontaine junkie as you are. 425 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,687 I'm just making sure. 426 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,272 Okay, we have you for two nights. 427 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,065 I can put you in a room on the top floor. 428 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,901 Hey, hey, hey. Top floor. Fancy. 429 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,319 Just tell me that you have an elevator? 430 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,738 Honey, this is Hollywood. 431 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,240 Almost every hotel has an elevator. 432 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,742 -Unbelievable. -Wow. 433 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,535 Now, your room won't be ready for an hour. 434 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:17,870 We can hold your bags, 435 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,121 and you can take a walk down 436 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,498 the one and only Hollywood Boulevard. 437 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,167 Oh, my goodness. 438 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,544 I can't wait. Where do we even start? 439 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:28,714 Oh! I'll show you my list of must-see destinations. 440 00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:31,592 - Okay. - Here is a killer burger joint. 441 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,761 - Mm! - And the best coffee shop 442 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,471 this side of the Mason-Dixon Line, 443 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,181 right here. 444 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,183 Now, if you wanna do some shopping, 445 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,768 cosmetics, stuff for around the house, 446 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,020 head here and ask them 447 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,938 to show you all their different gums. 448 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,690 - Ah. - Or if... 449 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,692 ...getting your dick sucked... 450 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:51,487 ...is more your speed, head here, 451 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,906 go around back behind the dumpster. 452 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,617 Ask for Glenn Stein. He's the best. 453 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,119 Okay! Well, what the heck are we waiting for? 454 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,079 Yeah! 455 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:09,088 - Mm. - Mm! 456 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:12,925 Can you show us your gums? 457 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,593 Wow. 458 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,096 - Good luck. - Okay. 459 00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:23,936 Ah! 460 00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,146 It's Tom. Should I pick up? 461 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,773 -Ew. Don't. -I'll just say... 462 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,108 No, take your space. There's really nothing to say. 463 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,359 Hey, what do you want? 464 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,610 Hey, we need to tell the caterers 465 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,195 by Monday if we're canceling. 466 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,280 Otherwise, we lose our entire deposit. 467 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,907 It's a lot of money, Gail. 468 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,200 Well, maybe you should ask 469 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:39,827 your good friend Jennifer Aniston. 470 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,578 She could afford to cover the cost, I would think. 471 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,455 Yeah. Maybe she can cater it with her pussy, Tom. 472 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,165 -You could just eat that. -Yeah, eat that! 473 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,542 -Okay? Goodbye. -No, don't... 474 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,584 I hung up on him. 475 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,169 Okay. That's my Gail. 476 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,296 Gal. Girl. Good for you, doll. 477 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,714 Yeah, good for me. 478 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,134 Oh. This could be fun. 479 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,218 Do you wanna get 480 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,719 -a psychic reading? -Mm... 481 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,012 -Why? -I mean, I'm all for fun, 482 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,222 but it looks a little nasty, 483 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,598 doesn't it? 484 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:04,184 Coming from a guy who just got a blow job, 485 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,353 behind a dumpster in a puddle of I don't know what. 486 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:07,855 For the record, Glenn said that the puddle 487 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:08,981 was actually filtered water. 488 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,399 -Okay. -But you know, 489 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,943 this psychic stuff, it's all BS, right? 490 00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,903 Yeah, if BS stands for "Best Psychic." Come on. 491 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,363 That would actually be "BP." 492 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,615 Okay, Mr. Harvard Law School. 493 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,659 Hey, I wasn't gonna play that card. 494 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,248 Bingo-bango. There she is. 495 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,417 Yeah, now we just gotta study this photo 496 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,085 for clues as to where it was taken. 497 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,212 Okay, all right, it's outside. 498 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,089 Yeah, it looks like Asia. 499 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,465 - Maybe Japan? - Like the Far East. 500 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,384 Colorful. Spider-Man's there. 501 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:38,802 -Is that Superman? -Yeah. 502 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,015 Okay, let's be real. This is gonna take a while. 503 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,683 I better put on a pot of coffee. 504 00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,059 Hi, I'm Gail... 505 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,853 -It's $20 in advance. -Okay. 506 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,274 Uh, all I have is a ten and two fives. Is that okay? 507 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,651 Yeah. That's a perfectly legitimate way to make $20. 508 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,445 -Okay. -Hmm. 509 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:03,285 Now, I am looking at you... 510 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,870 ...and I am listening to your spirit. 511 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:08,457 And I am sensing that something is on your mind. 512 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,583 Am I correct? 513 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:10,918 Oh, my God. 514 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:12,044 How did you know that? 515 00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,421 It is my business to know. 516 00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:16,131 Hence the ten and two fives. 517 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,132 But I'd really appreciate it if we could 518 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,759 put the money part of it aside. 519 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:20,969 Okay, well, I've been trying to forget about this, 520 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,472 but you obviously keyed into something. 521 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,015 I'm engaged to be married, 522 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,476 and I really, really love my fiance, Tom. 523 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,520 But... something happened, and I don't know what to do. 524 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,231 Let me connect with this. 525 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:35,859 Hmm. 526 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,947 I am sensing you really do love this Tom. 527 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,823 Mm. And he loves you. 528 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,533 -How'd she figure that out? -Shh. 529 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,910 -Otto! -Sorry. 530 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,330 But... you each had an agreement, yes? 531 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,958 To be able to have sex with a certain celebrity, 532 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,709 given the opportunity. 533 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,211 Yes, exactly! 534 00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:57,297 And Tom went too far with Jennifer Aniston 535 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,548 in the back of a bookstore. 536 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,509 Yes. Wow. So what do I do? 537 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:01,927 You need to even the score. 538 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,845 Level the playing field. 539 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,723 If you are going to continue your relationship with Tom, 540 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,352 you must have sex with your celebrity crush. 541 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,312 Oh. 542 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,856 Well, that's not gonna happen. 543 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,775 You don't think Jon Hamm would find you attractive? 544 00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,277 I don't... 545 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,529 Damn! I mean, 20 bucks is a bargain, right? 546 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,197 No, I don't... I don't... I don't know. 547 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,408 It's just that sounds like a pretty strange way to... 548 00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,743 No. Even if I wanted to, how would I find him? 549 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,955 You're in Hollywood. Jon Hamm lives in Hollywood. 550 00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:31,415 This sounds crazy. 551 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:33,125 Well, sometimes the craziest problems 552 00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:34,793 require the craziest solutions. 553 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:37,796 And sometimes, sister, the craziest solutions... 554 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:41,717 are the most sane. 555 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,344 So, if I wanna repair my relationship with Tom... 556 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:47,889 You must have sex with Jon Hamm. 557 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:52,561 I don't know, Otto. 558 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,021 Do you really think that we should do this? 559 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:55,522 Why not? 560 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,065 Remember, Tom gave you a free pass, too. 561 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,942 That's true. 562 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,444 But what about the hair convention? 563 00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,112 Oh, honestly, I'm fine. I'm fine. 564 00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:03,530 As long as we get back in time 565 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,032 for Remy Fontaine's Blow out Blow out. 566 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,658 I mean, conventions come and go. 567 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,327 How many times do you get to fuck Jon Hamm? 568 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:09,661 That's a good point. 569 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,455 But where would we even start? 570 00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:14,708 Twenty dollars, you will get a map with the home addresses 571 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:16,626 of all the biggest stars 572 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,628 - in HollyWeird. - Yeah. 573 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,214 The only town in America where if you want a cup of coffee, 574 00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:22,883 you've got to make an appointment 575 00:22:22,966 --> 00:22:25,093 at the Creative Artists Agency. 576 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,013 -Hi. Excuse me, sir. I'm Gail. -Hi, Gail. 577 00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,057 We would like a map with Jon Hamm's home address. 578 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:33,185 Are you kidding me, lady? I got stars up the wazoo. 579 00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:35,145 -Perfect. -I got Johnny Carson. 580 00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:37,606 I got Ed McMahon. I got Doc Severinsen. 581 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,149 -You name it. -Okay, how about Jon Hamm? 582 00:22:39,232 --> 00:22:40,484 Ooh. 583 00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:42,778 No. No, I don't have Jon Hamm. 584 00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:45,113 In any other town, I'd say check the phone book. 585 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,490 But in this town, 586 00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:48,200 I'd say get yourself an appointment 587 00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:50,118 at the Creative Artists Agency. 588 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:51,411 Hmm. 589 00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:57,876 ♪ C-A-A ♪ 590 00:22:57,959 --> 00:22:59,336 Hello, I'm Gail. 591 00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:01,088 - Hi. - Hi. 592 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:02,839 We're here to see Jon Hamm. Is he here? 593 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,633 Oh. Well, no. 594 00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:05,842 But Jon Hamm's agent is 595 00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,219 Mr. Leo Martin. 596 00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:08,512 He's actually a good bud of mine. 597 00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:10,430 No, he's not. 598 00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,099 You recharged his car once, dipshit. 599 00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:14,101 Ignore him. I can take a message for Leo Martin. 600 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,061 -Who are you guys with? -I'm with my friend Otto. 601 00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:17,312 Aw. And I'm with my friend Gail. 602 00:23:18,313 --> 00:23:19,815 Okay, great. 603 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:23,068 I should be able to get this to Leo's desk by Monday. 604 00:23:23,151 --> 00:23:25,237 Oh. No, no, no. That's... That's way too late. 605 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,448 -We'll be gone by then. -Sorry. 606 00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:29,950 That's... Thank you. Appreciate it. 607 00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:33,245 Hey, we tried. 608 00:23:33,328 --> 00:23:34,704 -But we were so close. -I know. 609 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:35,956 What are we supposed to do? 610 00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:36,873 I don't wanna see you cry. 611 00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:39,084 Hey, guys. 612 00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:40,669 As an agent-in-training, 613 00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:42,671 I'm really good at assessing situations. 614 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:44,256 And I can tell that you guys 615 00:23:44,339 --> 00:23:45,966 really need to see Jon Hamm before Monday. 616 00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,009 -Yes. -Yes. Yes, we have to. 617 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,636 We're only here for the weekend. 618 00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:51,721 I had a celebrity free pass thing with my fiance, 619 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,014 but he took it literally. 620 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,766 So now I need to have sex with Jon Hamm 621 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,601 to even out the score and save my relationship. 622 00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:59,062 Gotcha. He did the deed. Now you gotta do the do. 623 00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:00,272 -Yes. -Exactly. 624 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,898 Can you please help us? 625 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:03,024 I'll tell you what. 626 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,651 You guys, come with me. 627 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:06,319 Excuse me. 628 00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:07,863 -Let me ask you something. -Can I ask you something? 629 00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:09,906 - Have you seen this person? - Not today. 630 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,575 Have you seen these two people? Have you seen this person? 631 00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:13,201 -Either of these two? -No, I haven't. 632 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,328 -Sorry. No, I didn't see them. -Charles Boyle. 633 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,164 I get that a lot. Haven't seen them? 634 00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:18,665 -Either one? -Nope. I'm positive. 635 00:24:18,748 --> 00:24:20,125 Oh, yeah, I've seen those two. 636 00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,376 -You have? -Yeah. 637 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,170 -Where are they? -Hell if I know. 638 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,671 I got a lot of people coming through here all day long. 639 00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:25,922 I can't keep a record of where 640 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,424 everybody's heading next, you know? 641 00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:28,717 It's all I can do to keep track 642 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,135 of how many maps I got in my pile here. 643 00:24:30,218 --> 00:24:31,261 I mean, how... how many is it? 644 00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:33,138 Two? Four? Ten? 645 00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:37,726 I mean, it could even be nine. But that's Hollywood for you. 646 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,187 That's what the, uh, studio bean counters 647 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:43,356 over at Paramount Pictures call "creative accounting." 648 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,650 Well, this is a waste of time. Why don't we get some coffee? 649 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:48,069 Coffee? You wanna get coffee in this town, 650 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,739 you're gonna need an appointment at the Creative Artists Agency. 651 00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:52,699 - Okay. - Which, now that I think of it, 652 00:24:52,782 --> 00:24:55,285 is exactly where I told your friends to go. 653 00:24:55,368 --> 00:24:57,412 ♪ C-A-A ♪ 654 00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,748 Feast your eyes. Welcome to the backrooms 655 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:01,124 of the entertainment industry, friends, 656 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,667 where the real decisions are made, 657 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,503 where entire careers are hatched and destroyed 658 00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,505 with a control-shift-delete from this room. 659 00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:07,923 -Wow. -Hey, check this out. 660 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,549 Robert from Shark Tank. 661 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,759 There's blood in the water. How the hell are you? 662 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,552 When are we gonna play golf, huh? 663 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:14,054 -Uh, please don't speak to me. -You got it, Bobby Business. 664 00:25:14,137 --> 00:25:15,847 Hey, check this out. 665 00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,432 My mommy made them up for me. I think they're pretty cool. 666 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,767 Gotta dream big 667 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,393 -in a place like this. -I like that. 668 00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:22,187 And someday, maybe it's not gonna be CAA anymore. 669 00:25:22,270 --> 00:25:24,147 It's gonna be CA and CA: 670 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,233 Creative Artists and Caleb Agency. 671 00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:28,026 I love that! But I'm just checking. 672 00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:29,736 It's okay for us to be back here? 673 00:25:29,819 --> 00:25:31,571 Technically, no, but in this business, 674 00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:33,031 it's all about exuding confidence. 675 00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:34,658 You just fake it till you make it. Watch this. 676 00:25:34,741 --> 00:25:36,243 Hey, Megan. Whazzup? What are you working on here? 677 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:37,536 -You got a lot of deals? -No. Stop. 678 00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:38,995 Don't touch anything on my desk. 679 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,122 Big old deals? Look, we need the 411 on one 680 00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:42,457 Mr. Jonathan Daniel Hamm. 681 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:45,961 Oh! Leo Martin! There's my guy. 682 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,630 Fellas, this is Mr. Leo Martin, agent to the stars. 683 00:25:48,713 --> 00:25:50,340 You want guaranteed backend points, 684 00:25:50,423 --> 00:25:51,841 you talk to this guy. 685 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,552 Hi. Caleb. I charged your car on the 29th. 686 00:25:54,594 --> 00:25:55,971 Nothing? No? 687 00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:57,806 Well, this beautiful bag of bones is Gail, 688 00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,683 and this knucklehead is Otto. 689 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,227 Now, Gail over here needs to do the nasty 690 00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:04,396 with Mr. Jon Hamm ASAP. 691 00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:07,065 Believe me, it is all on the up and up, Mr. Martin, sir. 692 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:08,650 Yeah, don't worry. We're not like 693 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:10,569 crazy-stalker fans or anything like that. 694 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,699 So, what do you say? 695 00:26:15,782 --> 00:26:18,618 I am so, so sorry that we got you fired. 696 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:19,911 I am literally so stupid. 697 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,288 I'm literally so stupid 698 00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:22,831 for thinking that I could be an agent. 699 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,624 I just don't have the mentality for it! 700 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:27,836 And what am I gonna tell my mommy? 701 00:26:27,919 --> 00:26:29,421 -Um... -Ask him. 702 00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:30,964 Caleb, is there any way 703 00:26:31,047 --> 00:26:33,258 that you could just drop us off at the hotel? 704 00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:35,677 - Yeah. - Thank you. 705 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:36,886 - Thanks. - I could do that. 706 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:39,306 Or I could give you a lift 707 00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,975 straight to Mr. Jon Hamm's house 708 00:26:42,058 --> 00:26:46,104 because I swiped the address from Megan's desk. 709 00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:48,398 Caleb, you beautiful son of a bitch. 710 00:26:48,481 --> 00:26:50,442 - What? - Yeah! 711 00:26:50,525 --> 00:26:53,028 Are you kidding me? 712 00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:54,279 You tired? 713 00:26:54,362 --> 00:26:55,822 Yeah. I'm always tired. 714 00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:57,991 Always tired, yeah. 715 00:26:58,074 --> 00:27:01,578 This is it, Creative Artists Agency. 716 00:27:01,661 --> 00:27:03,288 I thought it would be a little, uh... 717 00:27:03,371 --> 00:27:04,289 ...fancier or something. 718 00:27:04,372 --> 00:27:05,665 It's the parking garage. 719 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,125 - Yay! - Wait a minute. 720 00:27:07,208 --> 00:27:09,127 That's her. That's her! 721 00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:10,629 That's her? Hey! Hey! 722 00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,341 -Wait... -I'm not gonna run after a car. 723 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:16,926 What the... You nuts? There's a stop sign up there. 724 00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:19,512 -Then you run after the car. -Fine! 725 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:21,348 Okay. No. Screw it. I'm not gonna run after the car. 726 00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:22,515 No, you're not gonna run after the car. 727 00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:23,892 -We're parked this way. -Okay. 728 00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,442 Oh, wow! Okay. 729 00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:36,112 We should be quiet. 730 00:27:40,116 --> 00:27:41,534 Well, what are you waiting for, Gail? Buzz him. 731 00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:43,286 Buzz him? I hardly know him. 732 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:51,544 "Buzz him. I hardly know him." 733 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,004 We're too funny. 734 00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:55,757 Hilarious jokes aside, 735 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,717 do you think celebrities normally 736 00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:59,302 let in strangers with sex requests? 737 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:00,470 Mm. 738 00:28:00,553 --> 00:28:02,263 That's a good point. 739 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:04,140 I think we need to get you on the other side of that gate 740 00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:05,934 so that Hamm Dog can see you face-to-face. 741 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:07,977 Mm-hmm. Then he'll have to fuck you. 742 00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:15,694 I have an idea. 743 00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:18,029 Take your clothes off. 744 00:28:19,114 --> 00:28:20,824 I got your butt! 745 00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:22,784 - Oh, shoot. - Whoa! 746 00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:23,952 Nice and slow. 747 00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:25,328 - I got a foothold. - Okay. 748 00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:26,746 Just climb over and we'll slowly 749 00:28:26,830 --> 00:28:27,580 - lower you down. - We got you. 750 00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:28,707 Wait, wait, wait! 751 00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:32,669 Whoops. 752 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,338 -You good? -Ow! 753 00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:37,590 - But yes, I am good. - Okay! 754 00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:41,261 See? Nothing a little clothes rope won't fix. 755 00:28:41,344 --> 00:28:42,595 Turns out it was unlocked. 756 00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:44,931 Look at this place. Wow. 757 00:28:45,014 --> 00:28:46,433 Jon Hamm's done well for himself. 758 00:28:46,516 --> 00:28:49,644 -Wait. How do I look? -Oh, fabulous. 759 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:51,730 And that is my professional opinion. 760 00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:54,733 Excuse me! 761 00:29:01,322 --> 00:29:02,407 Excuse me. Who are you? 762 00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:03,533 You're "Weird Al" Yankovic. 763 00:29:03,616 --> 00:29:05,577 Maybe. 764 00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:07,162 Uh, you live with Jon Hamm? 765 00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:10,206 No. I bought this house from him, like, a year ago. 766 00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:12,459 -You guys know Jon? -Not exactly. 767 00:29:12,542 --> 00:29:14,419 Well, how exactly did you get in here? 768 00:29:14,502 --> 00:29:16,254 We made a clothes rope. 769 00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:18,715 - Of course! - Out of our clothes. 770 00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,342 Told you guys it was a good idea. 771 00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:24,179 You know... 772 00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:25,388 funny thing about Hollywood. 773 00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:27,932 -What's he doing? -What is he gonna... 774 00:29:29,142 --> 00:29:30,685 People think it's a parody. 775 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,605 Like we're all just playing pretend. 776 00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:36,483 Except when it comes to defending our property. 777 00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:37,859 What are we gonna do? 778 00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:43,281 Well, well, well. 779 00:29:43,364 --> 00:29:45,867 Gail and her friends are in a real pickle now. 780 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,786 How are they gonna get out of this one? 781 00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:48,870 They need a clever solution, 782 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:50,747 and they need it fast. 783 00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:53,082 Well, sometimes the best idea 784 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:55,794 is the same idea you had a few minutes ago. 785 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,296 I have an idea. 786 00:29:58,379 --> 00:30:00,590 -Quick, take off your clothes. -Okay! 787 00:30:00,673 --> 00:30:02,217 You people think 788 00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:04,886 just because you bought a ticket to one of my concerts, 789 00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:07,680 you have the right to invade my sanctuary? 790 00:30:09,182 --> 00:30:11,100 Now! Suck it! 791 00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:13,269 - My pants! - Sweater! 792 00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:14,604 - Shirt! - More pants! 793 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:17,857 Run! 794 00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:26,699 I'm coming for you! 795 00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:36,543 You okay? 796 00:30:36,626 --> 00:30:38,336 Hey! 797 00:30:38,419 --> 00:30:40,338 This is my goddamn tree! Find your own goddamn tree! 798 00:30:40,421 --> 00:30:41,881 Who are you? 799 00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:43,591 Who am I? Eat me out. That's who I am. 800 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,093 I've been camped out here for two days 801 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:47,053 trying to get a picture of "Weird Al" Yankovic, 802 00:30:47,136 --> 00:30:48,263 and you guys are blowing my cover! 803 00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:50,098 So sorry. We really didn't mean... 804 00:30:50,181 --> 00:30:51,766 Aha! There you are! 805 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,017 Run! Run! 806 00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:54,102 - Eat it! - Run! Run! 807 00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,603 Eat it! 808 00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,522 Get yourself an egg and beat it! 809 00:31:03,820 --> 00:31:05,905 -Goddamn it! -Hey! Hey! 810 00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:08,032 Sorry! We did not mean to horn in on your project. 811 00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,492 Really, really sorry. 812 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:13,538 Oh, no, no, no. I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, I... 813 00:31:13,621 --> 00:31:16,416 I didn't mean to be so hostile. I... I... I'm not mad at you. 814 00:31:16,499 --> 00:31:18,001 - Huh? - I'm mad at me. 815 00:31:18,084 --> 00:31:19,752 - I'm mad at this guy right here. - Oh. 816 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:20,879 Well, you know what? We played a part 817 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:22,255 in creating that situation, 818 00:31:22,338 --> 00:31:23,673 and for that we apologize, 819 00:31:23,756 --> 00:31:24,507 - right, guys? - We do. We were all 820 00:31:24,591 --> 00:31:25,592 very, very stressed 821 00:31:25,675 --> 00:31:26,676 -out back there. -Yeah. 822 00:31:26,759 --> 00:31:28,052 Please don't patronize me. 823 00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:29,387 I know what people think of paparazzi. 824 00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:30,680 You know, that they're these heartless, 825 00:31:30,763 --> 00:31:31,931 bottom-feeding scumbags 826 00:31:32,015 --> 00:31:34,058 who don't take a shower. And, um... 827 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,685 that's why I try so hard 828 00:31:35,768 --> 00:31:37,145 to be a nice guy, you know? 829 00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:39,522 And then I just blow my gasket one time, 830 00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:42,191 and all that hard work is shot to shit. 831 00:31:42,275 --> 00:31:43,693 Goddamn it! 832 00:31:43,776 --> 00:31:45,612 Please don't beat yourself up. 833 00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:47,196 Ah. Oh. 834 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,449 My car! No! 835 00:31:49,532 --> 00:31:51,951 I'm so stupid! 836 00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:54,120 This is just great. This is just great. 837 00:31:54,203 --> 00:31:55,914 It's like, you know, "Oh. Oh, hi, Mommy. 838 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:57,957 "I'm just calling to let you know that my car got towed, 839 00:31:58,041 --> 00:31:59,125 "and I got fired today. 840 00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:00,627 "How was your day? Was it good? 841 00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:02,295 "Did you go to the hip-hop class? Was it fun? 842 00:32:02,378 --> 00:32:03,379 "Or did you feel too old and leave halfway through?" 843 00:32:03,463 --> 00:32:04,964 Come here. 844 00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:06,841 Come here. It's okay. 845 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,801 But hey, look on the bright side. 846 00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:10,428 We got to meet "Weird Al" Yankovic. 847 00:32:10,511 --> 00:32:13,181 - Yeah! That's pretty cool, huh? - Right? 848 00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:14,807 And who was that other man? 849 00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:16,392 I... I think that was Penn Jillette. 850 00:32:16,476 --> 00:32:18,144 - No shit. - Not sure why, but yeah. 851 00:32:18,227 --> 00:32:20,313 - See? - But hey, Gail, I mean, 852 00:32:20,396 --> 00:32:22,398 with no car, how are we supposed to find Jon Hamm? 853 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,150 Wait. 854 00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:25,777 Did you say Jon Hamm? 855 00:32:25,860 --> 00:32:27,570 Yes. I need to find him and sleep with him by Sunday. 856 00:32:27,654 --> 00:32:29,364 -Why? -Hamm... 857 00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:31,950 is my Holy Grail. 858 00:32:33,701 --> 00:32:35,411 2007, 859 00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:37,246 I was a wet-behind-the-ears beat photographer 860 00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:39,415 at People magazine. I was 861 00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,376 the new kid on the block. 862 00:32:41,459 --> 00:32:42,710 But I was good. Real good. 863 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:44,587 Any celeb you name, 864 00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:47,048 I tracked them down and I got the perfect candid shot. 865 00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:48,257 What do you got for me? 866 00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:49,676 I got Banks beaching in Baja. 867 00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:51,094 Banks in Baja? 868 00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:52,387 I got Paris pounding a pastrami. 869 00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:54,305 Spears spelunking in Spain. 870 00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:56,182 Lohan lounging in Lisbon. Cruise caroling at Christmas. 871 00:32:56,265 --> 00:32:57,642 Tara tanning topless in Tulum. Beyonce basking in Barbados. 872 00:32:57,725 --> 00:32:58,893 Mary-Kate meditating in Marrakesh. 873 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,812 I got Schreiber walking his dog. 874 00:33:00,895 --> 00:33:02,355 Yes! 875 00:33:02,438 --> 00:33:04,857 I was on fire. I never once failed. 876 00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:06,109 Around the office they called me 877 00:33:06,192 --> 00:33:07,860 "Mr. Always Gets His Shot, 878 00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:09,696 "Even When It's a Hard Shot to Get." 879 00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,782 It was a mouthful, but it was an accurate description. 880 00:33:12,865 --> 00:33:14,659 - Take a look at this. - And then one day, 881 00:33:14,742 --> 00:33:16,869 my editor gave me a no-brainer assignment. 882 00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:20,331 Get a candid shot of the star of the new hot show Mad Men. 883 00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:23,501 An actor I hadn't heard of by the name of Jon Hamm. 884 00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:27,922 Little did I know he would become my white whale. 885 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,215 - He eluded me. - Hey, hey. 886 00:33:29,298 --> 00:33:30,425 -No paparazzi. Move. -Hey, come on! 887 00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:31,592 Time after time... 888 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:32,719 Fuck! 889 00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:34,512 ...day after day, 890 00:33:34,595 --> 00:33:35,847 night after night. 891 00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:38,433 The deadline had come, 892 00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:40,018 and I had no clue what I was gonna do. 893 00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:41,269 But then... 894 00:33:41,352 --> 00:33:43,271 Hmm? 895 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:44,522 Talk to me. 896 00:33:44,605 --> 00:33:45,898 He's there right now? 897 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,483 ...a hot tip. 898 00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:50,611 And this time, I wasn't gonna let him get away. 899 00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:53,781 And there he was, 900 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:56,034 my white male whale. 901 00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:57,618 I got you, you son of a bitch! 902 00:33:57,702 --> 00:33:59,954 This was my moment to lock in my identity 903 00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,998 as Mr. Always Gets His Shot, 904 00:34:02,081 --> 00:34:03,791 Even Though it's... It was a Hard... 905 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,376 Or something like that. 906 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:06,294 I hit the button. 907 00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:08,046 But then... nothing. 908 00:34:09,630 --> 00:34:10,882 No film! 909 00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:16,262 And he was gone. 910 00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:20,975 Things spiraled after that. Drugs, alcohol, gambling. 911 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,269 Lost my job. Started living out of my car. 912 00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:25,730 Sold my hair for wigs. 913 00:34:25,813 --> 00:34:27,440 It wasn't long after that I started... 914 00:34:28,566 --> 00:34:31,319 selling my wigs for hair. 915 00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:33,863 But the truth is, I lost more than my job that day. 916 00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:35,948 I lost something in here. 917 00:34:36,032 --> 00:34:38,117 Yeah, I still freelance for a few bucks these days, 918 00:34:38,201 --> 00:34:39,911 but it's been a long time 919 00:34:39,994 --> 00:34:42,622 since the days of Mr. Always Gets His Shot Even When He... 920 00:34:44,791 --> 00:34:46,042 Uh, fuck. What was it again? 921 00:34:46,125 --> 00:34:47,543 Even When It Was a Hard Shot to Get. 922 00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:49,921 Yeah. Something like that. 923 00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:52,090 But now, these days... 924 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,383 I always carry a spare roll 925 00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:56,010 - of film with me. - Mm. 926 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,386 But everything's digital now. 927 00:34:57,470 --> 00:34:58,971 It's a reminder, Jacko! 928 00:35:00,306 --> 00:35:01,974 To never leave what's important behind. 929 00:35:02,058 --> 00:35:04,227 Mm-hmm. - Ah. 930 00:35:04,310 --> 00:35:05,645 Anyway, that's my long story short. 931 00:35:07,063 --> 00:35:08,314 Wasn't that short of a story. 932 00:35:08,397 --> 00:35:10,566 I thought it was a great story, uh... 933 00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:12,276 -Vincent. -Nice to meet you, Vincent. 934 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,945 My name is Gail. This is Otto and Caleb. 935 00:35:15,571 --> 00:35:17,240 Hey, this might sound crazy, 936 00:35:17,323 --> 00:35:19,659 but we could really, really use your know-how 937 00:35:19,742 --> 00:35:22,120 in terms of tracking down celebrities. Would you... 938 00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:25,665 wanna come with us to find Jon Hamm? 939 00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:30,128 Well, well, well. 940 00:35:31,420 --> 00:35:34,132 The white whale "weturns." 941 00:35:35,466 --> 00:35:37,051 - What? - "Wet's woll." 942 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,929 Hey. Yes! 943 00:35:40,012 --> 00:35:41,722 - Let's go. - This is exciting. 944 00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:42,723 Hey, we're skipping. Look at us. We're skipping. 945 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,944 -My case? -Oh, um... 946 00:35:55,027 --> 00:35:56,070 -Not much luck. -Yet. 947 00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:59,991 But we have some very good leads. 948 00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:04,579 So, you came here to tell me that you don't have my case? 949 00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,664 Uh, yeah... Yes, that we did. 950 00:36:06,747 --> 00:36:09,458 And also that we're a little bit hungry, 951 00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:12,086 so we thought when in Rome... 952 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:13,796 - themed restaurant. - Oh. 953 00:36:15,047 --> 00:36:16,132 Sit. 954 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:19,177 I'm good. I had a snack earlier. 955 00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:25,433 Sergio. 956 00:36:25,516 --> 00:36:29,020 - Sergio, Sergio, Sergio. - Thank you. 957 00:36:29,103 --> 00:36:30,188 That's silly. 958 00:36:30,271 --> 00:36:31,856 Oh! Look at this. 959 00:36:31,939 --> 00:36:33,065 - Thank you. - You're hungry. 960 00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:34,859 So maybe you just need to eat! 961 00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:44,785 Come on, everybody. 962 00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,761 No, I love Baja. Don't you remember? 963 00:37:01,844 --> 00:37:05,139 People magazine had those photos of me in 2007. 964 00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:08,684 I'm not really feeling Italian all of a sudden. 965 00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,228 Let's go to that Thai place near you. 966 00:37:11,270 --> 00:37:12,438 Okay. 967 00:37:16,567 --> 00:37:17,693 Anyone else is hungry? 968 00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:19,320 -No! -We gotta go get the case. 969 00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:21,072 -We'll get the case. -Bravi. 970 00:37:21,155 --> 00:37:23,866 Bravi, little monkeys, bravi. 971 00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:25,910 Find that fucking case! 972 00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:33,251 Our luggage. Come in! 973 00:37:33,918 --> 00:37:35,127 Bobby Snaps. 974 00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:38,172 Hey, man, it's Vincent. 975 00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:39,632 I'm gonna cut to the CliffsNotes. 976 00:37:39,715 --> 00:37:41,926 I'm in the market for a Mr. Jonathan Hamm. 977 00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:43,427 Uh, excuse me, sir, 978 00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:44,845 we were actually supposed to have two beds. 979 00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,264 I can bring a rollaway, if that would work. 980 00:37:46,347 --> 00:37:49,016 Thank you! Wait. 981 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,977 Let me give you a tip. 982 00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,062 I don't wanna be on the wrong side of history. 983 00:37:53,145 --> 00:37:55,231 Oh, no. I used all my cash earlier. 984 00:37:55,314 --> 00:37:56,857 Can I use my credit card? 985 00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:57,984 You can use a credit card for anything these days. 986 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,278 Only in LA. 987 00:38:01,237 --> 00:38:02,530 - Otto? - Yeah? 988 00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:05,116 How much should I tip him? Like 75 cents? 989 00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:06,742 -These guys live on their tips. -Okay. 990 00:38:12,206 --> 00:38:13,416 - Thanks. - Anytime. 991 00:38:14,750 --> 00:38:16,502 Anything? 992 00:38:16,585 --> 00:38:17,753 Nothing. 993 00:38:17,837 --> 00:38:19,338 She's a goddamn ghost. 994 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,133 Oh, wait. 995 00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:24,176 Sometimes even a ghost 996 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:25,553 has to come up for air. 997 00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:28,389 Bingo-bango! We got you, Gail Daughtry! 998 00:38:28,472 --> 00:38:29,557 Got you! 999 00:38:39,275 --> 00:38:41,193 Got you! We got you! 1000 00:38:41,277 --> 00:38:42,570 Are you sure he's there? You sure? 1001 00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:44,238 All right, he's there right now? 1002 00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:45,740 - What? - Okay. Thanks, man! 1003 00:38:45,823 --> 00:38:48,159 Thank you, man! 1004 00:38:48,242 --> 00:38:49,410 Uh, who's ready to meet 1005 00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:51,912 a Mr. Jonathan Daniel Hamm? 1006 00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,539 No way! No way! 1007 00:38:53,622 --> 00:38:56,625 I'm ready to do a lot more than meet him! 1008 00:38:58,711 --> 00:39:00,379 Oh! Ew! 1009 00:39:00,463 --> 00:39:02,506 -Wait, wait, do you get it? -Yeah. 1010 00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,175 Okay, I gotta get dressed. I gotta do my hair. 1011 00:39:04,258 --> 00:39:05,843 What? Okay. 1012 00:39:05,926 --> 00:39:07,428 Hey, what are we doing here? 1013 00:39:07,511 --> 00:39:09,180 We have to hit the road now. We don't wanna miss him. 1014 00:39:09,263 --> 00:39:10,181 Okay, bring your hair stuff with you. 1015 00:39:10,264 --> 00:39:11,223 We'll get you all dolled up 1016 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:13,017 -on the way. -Okay. 1017 00:39:13,100 --> 00:39:14,226 Yep. I think this is it. 1018 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:17,688 Yeah. Over here. 1019 00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,065 Oh, I forgot to do my hair! 1020 00:39:19,148 --> 00:39:20,358 Oh, don't worry about it. You look great. 1021 00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:22,234 That's my professional opinion. 1022 00:39:22,318 --> 00:39:24,445 Oh, Otto, what would I do without you? 1023 00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:26,197 My guess is you'd be dead. 1024 00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:29,909 Huh. 1025 00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:31,118 Fuck you! 1026 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,828 This is not where I thought 1027 00:39:32,912 --> 00:39:34,705 a big-time movie star would live. 1028 00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:36,999 I think he should fire his business manager. 1029 00:39:42,171 --> 00:39:44,090 Wait, that's Jon Hamm? 1030 00:39:44,173 --> 00:39:45,966 No, that's John Slattery. 1031 00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:48,177 He co-starred with Jon Hamm on Mad Men, remember? 1032 00:39:48,260 --> 00:39:50,679 Right! He played Roger Sterling. Cool! 1033 00:39:50,763 --> 00:39:52,390 But I thought we were going to Jon Hamm's house. 1034 00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:56,560 Hey, this guy is a hell of a lot closer 1035 00:39:56,644 --> 00:39:58,771 to Jon Hamm than any of us are, okay? 1036 00:39:58,854 --> 00:40:00,439 I don't see anybody here 1037 00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:02,900 with Hamm's number on their phone computers, do you? 1038 00:40:02,983 --> 00:40:04,652 -No one's saying that... -Who says "phone computer"? 1039 00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:07,446 Otto, are you good friends with Jon Hamm? No, you're not. 1040 00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:09,907 Caleb, are you Jon Hamm's personal fuck buddy? 1041 00:40:09,990 --> 00:40:11,867 -What? No. -No, I don't think so, okay? 1042 00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:13,285 This is a lead! 1043 00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:15,246 What I do every day is to find celebrities, 1044 00:40:15,329 --> 00:40:17,081 and this is how I do it! 1045 00:40:17,164 --> 00:40:19,083 Okay, fine. You're right. We're sorry. Just calm down. 1046 00:40:19,166 --> 00:40:21,669 If it's a dead end, it's a dead end, okay? 1047 00:40:21,752 --> 00:40:24,296 Sure, John Slattery hasn't had an acting job in over a decade, 1048 00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:26,507 but he worked with Jon Hamm for years, okay? 1049 00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:28,426 So what are we gonna do? Not try? 1050 00:40:28,509 --> 00:40:30,136 I'm just saying, like, maybe we could take it down a notch. 1051 00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:31,512 How about you take it down a notch? 1052 00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:32,763 Vincent. Vincent, look at me! Look at me! 1053 00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:33,764 How about you stop? You think... 1054 00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:35,099 We're all on the same team! 1055 00:40:35,182 --> 00:40:36,267 Now, I need you to keep it together. 1056 00:40:36,350 --> 00:40:37,852 Okay. I'm sorry, it's just that 1057 00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:39,520 these two do-do-do's are pushing my buttons. 1058 00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:41,981 -What did you just call me? -It's okay. 1059 00:40:42,064 --> 00:40:45,359 I'm sorry. I've just been through so much. 1060 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:46,902 I totally get it. 1061 00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:49,071 But we gotta keep our eyes on the prize. 1062 00:40:49,155 --> 00:40:51,824 Which is slippin' Hamm's D into Gail's V. 1063 00:40:51,907 --> 00:40:53,242 Right. 1064 00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:57,955 Uh, hello? Hi. 1065 00:40:58,038 --> 00:40:59,707 -Stop! -Whoa. 1066 00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:01,917 I have the legal right to defend myself against trespassers. 1067 00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,794 No, no, no, we're not trespassers. We just want... 1068 00:41:03,878 --> 00:41:05,546 California Penal Code section 602 would disagree. 1069 00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:07,131 Entry onto the property of another 1070 00:41:07,214 --> 00:41:08,716 without permission is trespassing. 1071 00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:10,885 I therefore have the legal right to kick your ass 1072 00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:12,178 and take names never. 1073 00:41:14,221 --> 00:41:15,347 Oh! 1074 00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:17,641 Ow, ow, ow. 1075 00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:19,393 - Oops. - Just take it. Take everything. 1076 00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:21,854 The key to the safe is in the pantry in a fake soup can. 1077 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:23,147 Ow! 1078 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:24,482 I... I think it's the beef barley. 1079 00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:27,485 Please, just please don't hurt me. 1080 00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:28,944 No, no, we're... we're not here to hurt you. 1081 00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:30,905 What are you talking about? You just did! 1082 00:41:30,988 --> 00:41:32,781 What'd you do that for? I wasn't doing anything to you. 1083 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,575 I was just trying to scare you. 1084 00:41:34,658 --> 00:41:37,244 I'm so sorry. It was just self-defense. 1085 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:38,412 Well, what are you doing sneaking up on me 1086 00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:39,914 when I'm in a meeting? 1087 00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:41,749 With who? 1088 00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:43,792 A commitment to one's self is as important a meeting as any. 1089 00:41:43,876 --> 00:41:45,419 Okay, the truth is, 1090 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,171 we're here because my fiance's celebrity free pass 1091 00:41:47,254 --> 00:41:48,839 was Jennifer Aniston, and he did it. 1092 00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:51,342 So now I need to find my celebrity pass, Jon Hamm. 1093 00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:55,346 -Should have guessed. -Can you help us find him? 1094 00:41:55,429 --> 00:41:57,097 Yeah, I could. But I won't. 1095 00:41:57,181 --> 00:41:59,558 Okay. I understand. 1096 00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:00,935 You're not the first person 1097 00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:02,394 to come to me with this kind of a request. 1098 00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:04,855 Everybody wants a dicking from J.D.H. 1099 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:07,191 Back in the day, we used to split up the spoils. 1100 00:42:07,274 --> 00:42:09,860 Sure. Golden Globes after-party, 2007? 1101 00:42:09,944 --> 00:42:11,862 - Forget it. - Uh-huh. 1102 00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,031 These days... 1103 00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:17,785 Tell you what I will do. 1104 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,745 Have your friends walk around the block and I'll doink you. 1105 00:42:19,828 --> 00:42:21,372 That's got to still be worth something, right? 1106 00:42:21,455 --> 00:42:22,748 For God's sake, I was in 1107 00:42:22,831 --> 00:42:24,458 the seventh greatest show of all time, 1108 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,252 according to Rolling Stone magazine. 1109 00:42:26,335 --> 00:42:27,670 And it would have been number one 1110 00:42:27,753 --> 00:42:29,588 if it weren't for Seinfeld, Fleabag, 1111 00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:32,007 Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Simpsons, and The Sopranos. 1112 00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:33,259 But I don't see Homer Simpson 1113 00:42:33,342 --> 00:42:34,301 standing here ready to whip it out, 1114 00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:36,011 so, uh, what do you say? 1115 00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:37,429 You wanna finalize this freak-fest? 1116 00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:38,973 That's a very sweet offer, Mr. Slattery. 1117 00:42:39,056 --> 00:42:40,641 You're goddamn right it is. 1118 00:42:40,724 --> 00:42:41,850 But it's not what I'm looking for. 1119 00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:43,686 Okay. 1120 00:42:43,769 --> 00:42:45,104 If your friends wanna stay and watch, that's fine, 1121 00:42:45,187 --> 00:42:46,814 but they have to hide in the closet, 1122 00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:48,190 and they can't make a lot of noise. It throws me off. 1123 00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:49,567 Uh, this is a dead end. Let's get out of here. 1124 00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:51,235 -Thank you. -I'm sorry to bother you. 1125 00:42:51,318 --> 00:42:52,695 Yeah, fine. I wasn't into you either. 1126 00:42:52,778 --> 00:42:54,321 I'll tell you something, sweet cheeks, 1127 00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:57,825 I like my women like I like my men, chunky as fuck. 1128 00:42:57,908 --> 00:42:59,994 - What? - I said good day! 1129 00:43:02,329 --> 00:43:03,455 Knock your face right off. 1130 00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:05,165 See? There it is on the floor. 1131 00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:06,417 What are you gonna do now? You got your face on the floor. 1132 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:07,751 Wait, guys. 1133 00:43:09,128 --> 00:43:10,588 Let me take a swing at this one. 1134 00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:19,096 Mr. Slattery. 1135 00:43:19,179 --> 00:43:21,640 California Penal Code section 602. Go away. 1136 00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:23,017 Orville and Wilbur. 1137 00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:24,435 -What? -The Wright brothers. 1138 00:43:24,518 --> 00:43:25,811 They invented the airplane. 1139 00:43:25,894 --> 00:43:27,271 Yeah. No duh. What about it? 1140 00:43:27,354 --> 00:43:29,815 What about it? They were brothers, John. 1141 00:43:29,898 --> 00:43:32,651 They were partners. They were equals. 1142 00:43:32,735 --> 00:43:34,111 They made something great together, 1143 00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:35,571 and it was a massive hit. 1144 00:43:35,654 --> 00:43:38,198 The airplane was a blockbuster. 1145 00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:40,159 But what happened to the brothers? 1146 00:43:40,242 --> 00:43:42,411 Orville, well, he's a hero, isn't he? 1147 00:43:42,494 --> 00:43:43,704 He's in the history books. 1148 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:47,666 But as for Wilbur... 1149 00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:49,752 ...he just couldn't handle the heat, could he? 1150 00:43:49,835 --> 00:43:51,003 He didn't have the courage. 1151 00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:53,088 So, what did he do? 1152 00:43:54,590 --> 00:43:56,592 He resigned himself to being a footnote, 1153 00:43:56,675 --> 00:43:58,260 a trivia question, 1154 00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:01,013 wasting away the final precious years of his life 1155 00:44:01,096 --> 00:44:02,014 punching a bag in a garage. 1156 00:44:03,557 --> 00:44:04,600 You see the connection that I'm making, John? 1157 00:44:04,683 --> 00:44:06,060 -I'm Orville? -You're Wilbur. 1158 00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:08,646 Okay, then yes, I see the connection clearly. 1159 00:44:10,064 --> 00:44:12,358 John... 1160 00:44:12,441 --> 00:44:14,276 watching you give that there bag a "what for," 1161 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,862 I can see that the fire still burns in your belly. 1162 00:44:18,238 --> 00:44:19,948 So, I just have one question for you. 1163 00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:22,576 Are you gonna spend the rest of your life 1164 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,662 believing that you're the wrong Wright brother? 1165 00:44:27,247 --> 00:44:28,916 Or are you gonna start to believe 1166 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,002 that deep down inside, 1167 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:36,298 there can be two right Wright brothers? 1168 00:44:38,425 --> 00:44:40,052 Am I right, brother? 1169 00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:02,074 So, long story short, 1170 00:45:02,157 --> 00:45:03,367 I keep the roll of film as a reminder. 1171 00:45:03,450 --> 00:45:04,660 Wasn't that short a story. 1172 00:45:04,743 --> 00:45:06,412 Now, how do we find Hamm? 1173 00:45:06,495 --> 00:45:08,706 First thing we should do is call his agent at CAA. 1174 00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:10,541 Uh, we tried that. Yeah, that ship has sailed. 1175 00:45:10,624 --> 00:45:12,710 Oh! Uh, I... I know he's got a house in Bel-Air. 1176 00:45:12,793 --> 00:45:14,002 Sold it a year ago. 1177 00:45:14,086 --> 00:45:15,170 I thought you were still friends. 1178 00:45:15,254 --> 00:45:16,422 Yeah, we're still friends. 1179 00:45:16,505 --> 00:45:18,090 We're just both busy. 1180 00:45:18,173 --> 00:45:19,800 So, we text mostly nowadays. Wait, let me see. 1181 00:45:42,197 --> 00:45:44,032 What is it? 1182 00:45:44,116 --> 00:45:45,325 It doesn't... You won't get it. 1183 00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:16,482 Okay, you know, go up here to Sunset. 1184 00:46:16,565 --> 00:46:17,649 Are you sure he still lives here? 1185 00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:19,234 How long ago was that text? 1186 00:46:19,318 --> 00:46:20,819 - Six months ago. - Okay. 1187 00:46:20,903 --> 00:46:22,863 Super helpful. 1188 00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:25,657 Hey, perhaps, Otto, you can come up with a better idea 1189 00:46:25,741 --> 00:46:27,284 before you choke the life out of this one, 1190 00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:29,620 like your dick on a lonely Saturday night! 1191 00:46:29,703 --> 00:46:31,205 - Hey, hey! - You wanna go? Let's go! 1192 00:46:31,288 --> 00:46:32,998 -I'm not afraid of you! -Come on! Come on, come on! 1193 00:46:33,081 --> 00:46:34,875 Hey, look. Look, look, look. 1194 00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:37,044 There it is. The Chateau Marmont. 1195 00:46:37,127 --> 00:46:40,172 Wow. It's more beautiful than I even imagined 1196 00:46:40,255 --> 00:46:42,841 when I first heard about this place 30 minutes ago. 1197 00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:43,801 Come on! 1198 00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:48,263 Hello, I'm Gail. 1199 00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,140 - Hi. - Is Jon Hamm here? 1200 00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:51,975 We don't give out that kind of information. 1201 00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:54,728 Okay, I think it's time to drop the neutron bomb. 1202 00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:56,271 -Here we go. Hello. -Hello. 1203 00:46:56,355 --> 00:46:58,357 -I'm John Slattery. -I know who you are. 1204 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,442 Oh, well, okay. 1205 00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:01,860 Now we're cooking. 1206 00:47:01,944 --> 00:47:03,487 So, give us the 411. 1207 00:47:03,570 --> 00:47:05,697 What's the deal with my boy Jonny Hammer Sticks? 1208 00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:07,199 Can't help you. Hotel policy. 1209 00:47:08,367 --> 00:47:10,118 Wow. She's tough. I'm out of moves. 1210 00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:11,537 - Yeah, she's good. - It's all right. 1211 00:47:11,620 --> 00:47:13,330 You did literally everything that you could. 1212 00:47:13,413 --> 00:47:15,499 Front desk. How may I help you? 1213 00:47:15,582 --> 00:47:17,918 One order of pineapple coconut pancakes to Room 203. 1214 00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:19,294 -Right away, sir. -Stop. 1215 00:47:20,420 --> 00:47:22,130 Hammer time. 1216 00:47:22,214 --> 00:47:24,341 Well, that's 203, okay. 1217 00:47:24,424 --> 00:47:25,592 Do you wanna knock? 1218 00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:26,426 - No, you knock. - Okay. 1219 00:47:29,179 --> 00:47:31,890 -Can I help you? -Hi. We're here to see Jon Hamm. 1220 00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:33,517 Do you have an appointment? 1221 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,353 -No, but I'm, uh, John... -Slattery! Yeah, I know. 1222 00:47:39,565 --> 00:47:41,233 - Hey. What's up, man? - Hey, hi. 1223 00:47:41,316 --> 00:47:43,193 Respect to the work, bro. I really appreciate it. 1224 00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:44,862 -Oh, thank you, man. Thank you. -Nice to meet you. Yeah. 1225 00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,280 All right, y'all have a good day. 1226 00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:47,364 - Wait, no. No, come back. - Wait. Wait. 1227 00:47:47,447 --> 00:47:48,532 Wait. Ow! 1228 00:47:48,615 --> 00:47:51,201 - Ow! Ow! Ow! - Oh! Ow! 1229 00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:53,203 -Move. Move out the way. -Ow! Ow! 1230 00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:55,080 Ow! Ow! 1231 00:47:55,163 --> 00:47:56,540 Slat-man! 1232 00:47:56,623 --> 00:47:58,625 -Ow! Ow! Ow! -Move! 1233 00:47:58,709 --> 00:47:59,501 - Stop! Stop it! - Ow! Ow! 1234 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,004 -What are you doing? -Ow! 1235 00:48:02,087 --> 00:48:03,463 -Stop doing that! No! -Ow! Ow! 1236 00:48:03,547 --> 00:48:04,923 Stop it! 1237 00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:07,509 Ow! Ow! 1238 00:48:08,927 --> 00:48:10,971 Please stop. Just stop. 1239 00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:14,182 Ow! Ow! Hey, Jon Hamm! 1240 00:48:15,517 --> 00:48:16,977 What the heck? 1241 00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:18,395 Why did you have to hit him like that, mister? 1242 00:48:18,478 --> 00:48:19,980 I'm gonna do a hell of a lot worse than that 1243 00:48:20,063 --> 00:48:21,565 if you don't march y'all asses out of here. 1244 00:48:21,648 --> 00:48:23,400 Worse than hitting him in the face? 1245 00:48:23,483 --> 00:48:25,611 -What are you gonna do to him? -I'm gonna make him very sick. 1246 00:48:26,820 --> 00:48:28,572 -What? How? -Enough questions. 1247 00:48:28,655 --> 00:48:32,326 Unless you want me to make you all very, very sick. 1248 00:48:32,409 --> 00:48:34,995 Just hear us out, okay? I can explain very quickly. 1249 00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:36,997 The bullet points are celebrity free pass. 1250 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,707 My fiance's was Aniston. Mine is Hamm. 1251 00:48:38,790 --> 00:48:40,792 He did it. I didn't, and I need to. 1252 00:48:43,045 --> 00:48:44,338 I understand completely. 1253 00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:46,173 And I sympathize with your situation. 1254 00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:47,966 So, I'm not gonna make you all sick. 1255 00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:51,470 But I can't let you in. 1256 00:48:51,553 --> 00:48:52,846 Now get out of here before I change my mind 1257 00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:54,389 and make you all real sick. 1258 00:48:55,974 --> 00:48:58,143 Well, nobody wants to get sick, right, fellas? 1259 00:48:58,226 --> 00:48:59,436 No, I definitely don't wanna get sick. 1260 00:48:59,519 --> 00:49:01,021 I just got over something. 1261 00:49:01,104 --> 00:49:02,773 - Okay. Let's get out of here. - Jesus. 1262 00:49:06,860 --> 00:49:09,363 I don't know, maybe this whole idea, 1263 00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,740 me thinking that having sex with Jon Hamm 1264 00:49:11,823 --> 00:49:14,993 would solve my relationship, is just ridiculous. It's stupid. 1265 00:49:15,077 --> 00:49:16,995 Just an utterly pointless premise. 1266 00:49:17,079 --> 00:49:18,455 It's like, why? 1267 00:49:18,538 --> 00:49:19,957 No, Gail, no. 1268 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,291 We're too far into this thing to give up now. 1269 00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:23,377 Yeah, Gail. John Slattery is right. 1270 00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:24,836 If we work together as a team, 1271 00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:26,672 we can accomplish literally anything. 1272 00:49:26,755 --> 00:49:29,633 Don't worry, Gail, somehow we'll get you in there. 1273 00:49:29,716 --> 00:49:31,093 He's right. 1274 00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:33,178 And then we're gonna get him in there. 1275 00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:36,640 Aw! Guys. I know we all just met today, 1276 00:49:36,723 --> 00:49:38,141 but it really feels like 1277 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,810 we've known each other for over a week. 1278 00:49:41,561 --> 00:49:42,854 -Hey. -Oh! 1279 00:49:42,938 --> 00:49:44,356 I wanted to catch you before you left. 1280 00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:46,108 When I said I sympathized with you, 1281 00:49:46,191 --> 00:49:48,193 I didn't tell you the exact truth. 1282 00:49:48,276 --> 00:49:51,279 The truth is, I more than sympathize with you. 1283 00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:52,739 I empathize with you. 1284 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:54,199 Which is very different. Look it up. 1285 00:49:54,282 --> 00:49:55,450 Okay. 1286 00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:56,493 On your phone. Look it up. 1287 00:49:56,576 --> 00:49:57,786 Uh... 1288 00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:04,126 Oh! 1289 00:50:04,209 --> 00:50:05,711 -So you're saying that... -That's right. 1290 00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:08,255 Her name was Rebecca. 1291 00:50:09,047 --> 00:50:11,008 We were in Mexico. 1292 00:50:11,091 --> 00:50:12,467 Rebecca loved bullfights. 1293 00:50:12,551 --> 00:50:14,594 I hated them, but I loved her. 1294 00:50:15,470 --> 00:50:17,514 Then, chaos. 1295 00:50:17,597 --> 00:50:20,517 Bull jumps the fence, heads right for Rebecca. 1296 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,436 I pull her away, but she's wearing red. 1297 00:50:22,519 --> 00:50:24,312 It's over in seconds. I slip on something. 1298 00:50:24,396 --> 00:50:25,564 It's Rebecca's liver. 1299 00:50:25,647 --> 00:50:27,315 Jesus Christ! 1300 00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:29,818 Yeah. So, yeah, I empathize with what you're going through. 1301 00:50:31,778 --> 00:50:35,115 That's actually quite different from Gail's situation. 1302 00:50:35,198 --> 00:50:36,700 Okay, maybe it is that I sympathize 1303 00:50:36,783 --> 00:50:38,577 more than empathize. 1304 00:50:38,660 --> 00:50:41,538 Bottom line, whether it's a free celebrity pass taken too far 1305 00:50:41,621 --> 00:50:44,041 or an out-of-control bull disemboweling my Rebecca, 1306 00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:45,459 I know what it's like when someone 1307 00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:47,335 comes between you and the one you love. 1308 00:50:47,419 --> 00:50:49,671 So, I went ahead and I talked to 1309 00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:50,839 - Mr. Hamm on your behalf. - What? 1310 00:50:50,922 --> 00:50:53,175 You did? What did he say? 1311 00:50:53,258 --> 00:50:55,135 He's on the lookout for his next film project. 1312 00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:56,720 He said if you guys could bring him 1313 00:50:56,803 --> 00:50:58,388 a great movie idea for him to star in, 1314 00:50:58,472 --> 00:51:00,098 one that electrifies audiences 1315 00:51:00,182 --> 00:51:01,933 but also speaks to Jon personally, 1316 00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:05,145 then he promises he'll help you with whatever you need. 1317 00:51:06,021 --> 00:51:07,606 Whatever we need? 1318 00:51:07,689 --> 00:51:10,776 Wait, so we have to pitch him a film idea? 1319 00:51:10,859 --> 00:51:12,235 No, more than just an idea. 1320 00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:13,987 He needs a fully fleshed-out story. 1321 00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:16,323 And of course, I come on board as a producer. 1322 00:51:16,406 --> 00:51:18,492 I gotta get enough money to help Rebecca with a proper burial. 1323 00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:20,410 - Wait, she's not buried yet? - Not yet. 1324 00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:22,913 -Where is she now? -Listen, stay in your lane. 1325 00:51:22,996 --> 00:51:25,082 Guys, I think we could come up with something 1326 00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:27,250 really great if we put our heads together. 1327 00:51:27,334 --> 00:51:28,919 I don't know how we're gonna come up 1328 00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:30,545 with a whole movie idea before we go home. 1329 00:51:30,629 --> 00:51:32,089 I didn't say it was gonna be easy. 1330 00:51:34,841 --> 00:51:36,218 Any ideas? 1331 00:51:36,301 --> 00:51:37,594 No. I'm still thinking about the liver. 1332 00:51:37,677 --> 00:51:39,429 Yeah. 1333 00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:43,016 How about something about, um, like a dog or something? 1334 00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,935 No, that's already been done. Marley & Me? 1335 00:51:45,018 --> 00:51:47,354 Oh, yeah. Right. 1336 00:51:47,437 --> 00:51:49,481 Damn it. God, it is such a good idea. 1337 00:51:49,564 --> 00:51:52,150 If it wasn't for fucking Marley & Me! 1338 00:51:52,234 --> 00:51:53,652 Okay, okay. How about, uh... 1339 00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:57,364 Ugh, I can't get Otto's dog idea out of my head. 1340 00:51:57,447 --> 00:51:58,865 -I know. -I know we can't 1341 00:51:58,949 --> 00:51:59,950 'cause of Marley & Me, but it was, like, 1342 00:52:00,033 --> 00:52:01,368 -the exact perfect idea. -It was. 1343 00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:02,410 Also, I can't think of anything original 1344 00:52:02,494 --> 00:52:03,954 because I'm starving. 1345 00:52:04,037 --> 00:52:05,622 I have a protein bar in my case in the back seat. 1346 00:52:05,705 --> 00:52:07,415 -Do you want it? -Yes, please. I'm dying. 1347 00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:08,875 Yeah. I'll take a protein bar. 1348 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:09,835 - Want one too? - I want two. 1349 00:52:09,918 --> 00:52:11,419 Oh! 1350 00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:13,004 What about a cat? 1351 00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:14,589 - Is the cat's name Marley? - Yes, of course. 1352 00:52:14,673 --> 00:52:16,049 Then technically, it's still Marley & Me. 1353 00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:17,717 - How? - Is it supposed to be locked? 1354 00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:18,927 No, it's probably just jammed. 1355 00:52:19,010 --> 00:52:20,720 Okay. Hi-ya! 1356 00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:22,347 - Garfield. - Still got it. 1357 00:52:22,430 --> 00:52:24,015 Ugh, I hate Mondays! 1358 00:52:24,099 --> 00:52:26,184 - This is tough. - Uh... 1359 00:52:26,268 --> 00:52:28,061 I don't see any protein bars in here. 1360 00:52:28,145 --> 00:52:29,771 - What? - Just a bunch of papers. 1361 00:52:32,649 --> 00:52:35,068 - This isn't my case. - What? 1362 00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:37,654 "Top secret." What the heck is this? 1363 00:52:37,737 --> 00:52:39,656 -United States Patent Office. -What the hell is that? 1364 00:52:39,739 --> 00:52:41,032 Whoa! 1365 00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:44,119 I don't know. I feel weird about this. 1366 00:52:44,202 --> 00:52:45,579 Are you sure that we should be looking at this stuff? 1367 00:52:45,662 --> 00:52:46,955 It's somebody else's property. It feels weird. 1368 00:52:47,038 --> 00:52:48,832 Guys, I have read a lot of screenplays 1369 00:52:48,915 --> 00:52:50,167 over my many months at CAA. 1370 00:52:51,126 --> 00:52:52,627 This beats them all. 1371 00:52:52,711 --> 00:52:55,338 It's got violence and intrigue 1372 00:52:55,422 --> 00:52:57,174 and espionage and double identities. 1373 00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:58,758 I mean, the fate of the whole damn world's at stake. 1374 00:52:58,842 --> 00:53:00,677 -So, what are you saying? -I'm saying, 1375 00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:02,095 you plop Jon Hamm into this story, 1376 00:53:02,179 --> 00:53:03,597 it writes itself. 1377 00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,265 This is our movie pitch. 1378 00:53:05,348 --> 00:53:06,600 Wait, wait, wait. You're saying we're gonna 1379 00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:08,310 turn these files into a movie pitch? 1380 00:53:08,393 --> 00:53:09,853 Caleb's right. These are real-life details 1381 00:53:09,936 --> 00:53:11,313 that you just couldn't make up. 1382 00:53:11,396 --> 00:53:13,023 I mean, all we have to do is just 1383 00:53:13,106 --> 00:53:14,816 shape them just a tiny bit. 1384 00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:16,151 Hey, Vincent, you sound like a professional screenwriter. 1385 00:53:16,234 --> 00:53:17,235 Doesn't he? 1386 00:53:17,319 --> 00:53:18,570 -You do. -He does. 1387 00:53:18,653 --> 00:53:20,071 Well, funny you say that, you know, 1388 00:53:20,155 --> 00:53:21,990 because I originally came to Hollywood 1389 00:53:22,073 --> 00:53:23,074 to become a screenwriter. 1390 00:53:23,158 --> 00:53:24,367 -What? -Yeah. 1391 00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:25,702 But then I had five mouths to feed, 1392 00:53:25,785 --> 00:53:27,704 so I had to give that up tout suite. 1393 00:53:27,787 --> 00:53:29,789 - Wait, you have five kids? - Yeah. 1394 00:53:29,873 --> 00:53:31,291 They're all starting college this year. 1395 00:53:31,374 --> 00:53:33,335 Wait, Vincent, you should be the one 1396 00:53:33,418 --> 00:53:34,628 to write our Jon Hamm vehicle. 1397 00:53:35,337 --> 00:53:36,504 You should. 1398 00:53:36,588 --> 00:53:38,340 And Caleb, if you sell it to him 1399 00:53:38,423 --> 00:53:41,343 with the same chutzpah that you are showing us right now, 1400 00:53:41,426 --> 00:53:44,471 I know that he is going to love it. 1401 00:53:44,554 --> 00:53:46,765 I mean, yeah, and... and John Slattery, 1402 00:53:46,848 --> 00:53:48,683 I feel like you'd be perfect to play one of the parts. 1403 00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:50,393 -Oh, my gosh. Yes. -Really? 1404 00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:51,436 -Can you do an Italian accent? -Yes! 1405 00:53:51,519 --> 00:53:53,563 Well, no, but... 1406 00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,023 I've got an English accent 1407 00:53:55,106 --> 00:53:56,816 that's not too bad. 1408 00:53:56,900 --> 00:53:58,485 Care for a spot of tea? 1409 00:53:58,568 --> 00:54:01,029 No, thanks. I've got a tummy ache, haven't I? 1410 00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:04,115 Me Japanese accent's 1411 00:54:04,199 --> 00:54:05,700 not too bad either, don't you know? 1412 00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:11,248 Okay, well, I say we go pitch Jon Hamm right now, huh? 1413 00:54:11,331 --> 00:54:12,958 Hold on a second. 1414 00:54:13,041 --> 00:54:14,918 We still need to tighten and mold and put a spit shine 1415 00:54:15,001 --> 00:54:17,254 on this pitch before it is ready for prime time. 1416 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:19,714 You guys gonna eat the rest of this? 1417 00:54:26,054 --> 00:54:27,555 - Are you kidding me? - Right? 1418 00:54:27,639 --> 00:54:29,683 - Oh, my God. - Whoa. 1419 00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:31,184 -What happened? -What the heck? 1420 00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:32,269 You guys didn't leave it like this? 1421 00:54:32,352 --> 00:54:33,311 No. 1422 00:54:33,395 --> 00:54:35,230 -Hello, Gail... -Daughtry. 1423 00:54:35,313 --> 00:54:36,606 Oh, my God. 1424 00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:38,233 Do you have any idea 1425 00:54:38,316 --> 00:54:40,110 how much turmoil you've caused in our life? 1426 00:54:40,193 --> 00:54:41,945 They have no idea. 1427 00:54:42,028 --> 00:54:44,531 Okay. Give us the case and we'll be out of your hair. 1428 00:54:44,614 --> 00:54:47,242 Okay. Be cool. Give him the case. 1429 00:54:47,325 --> 00:54:48,785 Wait, then we have no movie pitch. 1430 00:54:48,868 --> 00:54:50,912 Wait, hold on. Slattery... 1431 00:54:50,996 --> 00:54:52,872 I'm gonna distract them, and you attack them. 1432 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:55,333 No, no, no, I've never actually fought a real person. 1433 00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:57,210 -I will throw up. -Hey! 1434 00:54:57,294 --> 00:55:00,171 I'm gonna start to shoot soon. And you don't want that. 1435 00:55:00,255 --> 00:55:02,549 Sorry. 1436 00:55:02,632 --> 00:55:04,426 Okay. You got one roller bed coming right... 1437 00:55:04,509 --> 00:55:06,344 - Oh, my God. - Who's this guy? 1438 00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:08,138 Hey, smile. 1439 00:55:13,893 --> 00:55:16,438 Run. Run! 1440 00:55:19,607 --> 00:55:21,151 I can't see! 1441 00:55:21,234 --> 00:55:22,402 - Come on! - All right! 1442 00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:24,654 Run! 1443 00:55:25,947 --> 00:55:26,990 Down the stairs! 1444 00:55:33,288 --> 00:55:34,331 Give me that case. 1445 00:55:35,832 --> 00:55:37,584 Welcome to the Blow out Blow out. 1446 00:55:37,667 --> 00:55:41,546 Here is your whip curl king, Remy Fontaine! 1447 00:55:41,629 --> 00:55:42,630 Do you miss me? 1448 00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:45,550 Make some noise for Remy! 1449 00:55:47,510 --> 00:55:49,137 Who wants a whip curl? You? You? 1450 00:55:50,513 --> 00:55:52,140 I see 'em! I think I see 'em. 1451 00:55:58,897 --> 00:56:02,317 Grip it, flip it and whip it. 1452 00:56:03,443 --> 00:56:04,944 You just got fingered. 1453 00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:08,114 Remy! 1454 00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:09,991 I took a little bit of ketamine. 1455 00:56:10,075 --> 00:56:12,452 So this is a bit frightening. 1456 00:56:12,535 --> 00:56:15,830 I love you, I love you, give me a kiss. 1457 00:56:15,914 --> 00:56:17,290 - It's Remy. - Not right now, honey. 1458 00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,417 Oh! There. The exit. Let's go. 1459 00:56:19,501 --> 00:56:21,044 -Okay. -Go, go, go, go! 1460 00:56:21,127 --> 00:56:22,837 Wait, hold on. 1461 00:56:22,921 --> 00:56:24,172 Otto, what are you doing? 1462 00:56:24,255 --> 00:56:25,965 - Trust me. - Remy loves you. 1463 00:56:26,049 --> 00:56:27,842 Be sure to show your love for Remy 1464 00:56:27,926 --> 00:56:29,260 at the merchandise table. 1465 00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:31,096 Did everyone sign up for the meet and greet? 1466 00:56:31,179 --> 00:56:33,056 I don't know what the fuck this is. Go that way. 1467 00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:37,936 Whip it good. Whip it real good. 1468 00:56:38,019 --> 00:56:41,231 - No, no, no. Gail. Otto! - Otto. Gail. 1469 00:56:41,314 --> 00:56:43,274 - It's whip curl madness. - Vincent! 1470 00:56:43,358 --> 00:56:44,401 Caleb! 1471 00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:45,652 -Gail! -Otto! 1472 00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,153 John Slattery! 1473 00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:48,530 I want to whip my curls in it. 1474 00:56:48,613 --> 00:56:51,032 Gail, we gotta go. 1475 00:56:51,116 --> 00:56:54,035 Give it up for Remy... Oh, my God. He's got a gun. 1476 00:56:55,703 --> 00:56:57,747 -Found you. -Go, go. Go, go, go. 1477 00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:04,170 Uh... Okay. 1478 00:57:05,505 --> 00:57:06,631 Enough! 1479 00:57:07,465 --> 00:57:09,467 Stop running. 1480 00:57:09,551 --> 00:57:11,678 - I'm tired. Hand it over. - Wait, wait, wait. 1481 00:57:11,761 --> 00:57:13,763 Okay, don't shoot. We can work this out. 1482 00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:16,975 No, no, no. There's nothing to work out. 1483 00:57:17,058 --> 00:57:19,436 -Goodbye, Gail Daughtry. -No, no, no. 1484 00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:31,072 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1485 00:57:32,115 --> 00:57:33,700 -Are you okay? -Yeah, yeah. 1486 00:57:33,783 --> 00:57:37,245 The metal plate in my head saved my life. 1487 00:57:37,328 --> 00:57:38,913 - Who are these people? - Get back here. 1488 00:57:41,166 --> 00:57:42,375 Oh! 1489 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,127 Niccolo! 1490 00:57:44,210 --> 00:57:48,298 Niccolo. Oh, no. Niccolo. 1491 00:57:48,381 --> 00:57:49,924 It was an accident, I swear. 1492 00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:51,468 I don't know how it happened. 1493 00:57:51,551 --> 00:57:54,137 -I'm so, so, so sorry. -You. 1494 00:57:54,220 --> 00:57:57,515 You know what? I can cause accidents, too. 1495 00:57:57,599 --> 00:57:59,559 Get ready to burn in... 1496 00:57:59,642 --> 00:58:01,019 Oh! 1497 00:58:01,102 --> 00:58:03,271 You mess with my show, you're gonna get burned. 1498 00:58:03,354 --> 00:58:04,814 Literally. 1499 00:58:09,235 --> 00:58:11,279 That's the Fontaine 3XL, isn't it? 1500 00:58:11,362 --> 00:58:13,156 Yes. They are. 1501 00:58:13,239 --> 00:58:16,159 You know, they say that dog is a man's best friend? Yeah? 1502 00:58:16,242 --> 00:58:17,869 - Yeah. - I say this, too, 1503 00:58:17,952 --> 00:58:20,497 but this curling iron is also a very good friend of... 1504 00:58:20,580 --> 00:58:22,415 Oh! 1505 00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:24,334 Oh! 1506 00:58:25,668 --> 00:58:27,170 Give me that. 1507 00:58:30,256 --> 00:58:31,966 Go, go, go! Let's go! 1508 00:58:33,801 --> 00:58:34,969 Hey, sorry, we got held up a little bit... 1509 00:58:35,053 --> 00:58:36,095 Whoa. Oh. 1510 00:58:38,014 --> 00:58:39,974 This is a classic case of two guys on the ground. 1511 00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:55,698 Where are we? Who are you? What do you want from us? 1512 00:58:55,782 --> 00:58:56,950 Wait. No, no, no. Please, come back. 1513 00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:57,992 No, no, no, come back. Come back! 1514 00:58:58,076 --> 00:58:59,536 Come back! 1515 00:59:00,578 --> 00:59:01,955 What, are they gonna kill us? 1516 00:59:02,038 --> 00:59:03,039 I don't know. I don't want to die. 1517 00:59:03,122 --> 00:59:04,374 Me neither. 1518 00:59:05,291 --> 00:59:06,918 Wait. Otto. 1519 00:59:07,001 --> 00:59:08,503 Yeah? 1520 00:59:08,586 --> 00:59:10,505 I just remembered... 1521 00:59:10,588 --> 00:59:13,174 -I can pop my ankle out. -Huh? 1522 00:59:13,258 --> 00:59:15,051 -Okay, do it. Do it. -Okay. 1523 00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:18,221 Did you do it? 1524 00:59:18,304 --> 00:59:19,430 Yeah. 1525 00:59:21,099 --> 00:59:22,225 But it didn't achieve anything, 1526 00:59:22,308 --> 00:59:23,059 so I'm gonna pop it back in, okay? 1527 00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:24,310 Okay. Yeah. 1528 00:59:24,394 --> 00:59:25,436 -Pop it back in. Do it. -It hurts. 1529 00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:26,771 Ow. 1530 00:59:28,064 --> 00:59:29,440 Oh, Gail. 1531 00:59:29,524 --> 00:59:30,733 I'm so sorry I talked you 1532 00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:31,943 into coming to Los Angeles with me. 1533 00:59:32,026 --> 00:59:33,778 Otto, don't do that. 1534 00:59:33,861 --> 00:59:38,408 You've been my most consistent, my most... loving, loyal friend 1535 00:59:38,491 --> 00:59:41,786 ever since my parents' double suicide. 1536 00:59:41,869 --> 00:59:43,580 And as I've said to you before, you know, 1537 00:59:43,663 --> 00:59:45,206 I could never presume to understand 1538 00:59:45,290 --> 00:59:46,833 what it is you've gone through. 1539 00:59:46,916 --> 00:59:48,293 I mean, to find your mother and father 1540 00:59:48,376 --> 00:59:50,295 in your bed like that. 1541 00:59:50,378 --> 00:59:52,672 -And on your birthday, no less. -Yeah. 1542 00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:56,426 But all I can do is be your friend. 1543 00:59:57,468 --> 00:59:58,511 No matter what. 1544 00:59:59,220 --> 01:00:01,055 Until the end. 1545 01:00:03,182 --> 01:00:04,892 Gail Daughtry. 1546 01:00:04,976 --> 01:00:06,811 Hairdresser. 1547 01:00:06,894 --> 01:00:08,479 Finally, we meet. 1548 01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:13,192 Flawless face to flawless face. 1549 01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:15,445 Who are you? 1550 01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:17,739 Where are we? 1551 01:00:17,822 --> 01:00:20,158 Perhaps you recognize this saloon 1552 01:00:20,241 --> 01:00:23,119 from the movie Blood on the Wagon. 1553 01:00:23,202 --> 01:00:24,704 I'm sorry, I don't. 1554 01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:26,706 I'm more into, like, black-and-white Holocaust shit. 1555 01:00:26,789 --> 01:00:28,124 Abandoned years ago. 1556 01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:30,668 A ghost town movie set. 1557 01:00:30,752 --> 01:00:34,839 The irony of building the New World financial order 1558 01:00:34,922 --> 01:00:39,135 from the ruins of fake American mythology 1559 01:00:39,218 --> 01:00:41,638 makes me so hard. 1560 01:00:41,721 --> 01:00:45,224 At first, I thought you were a hired operative. 1561 01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:47,060 -But no. -Mm-mmm. 1562 01:00:47,143 --> 01:00:50,897 You are just a girl from Kansas that showed up in my city 1563 01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:52,899 trying to do I don't know what. 1564 01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:54,484 Have sex with Jon Hamm. 1565 01:00:54,567 --> 01:00:56,277 Oh, like a celebrity pass thing? 1566 01:00:56,361 --> 01:00:57,987 - Exactly. - Good luck with that. 1567 01:00:58,071 --> 01:00:59,405 Oh, thank you. 1568 01:00:59,489 --> 01:01:00,698 Thank you so much. 1569 01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:01,991 -Kill her. -Mm-hmm. 1570 01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:05,203 Wait, what? What did she just say? 1571 01:01:05,286 --> 01:01:08,498 -And her little friend, too. -No, no, no, no, no, please. 1572 01:01:08,581 --> 01:01:10,041 - Let's do this. - Please, not Otto! 1573 01:01:16,964 --> 01:01:18,341 Stop! 1574 01:01:19,467 --> 01:01:21,511 Who the fuck is Remy Fontaine? 1575 01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:28,976 He's king of the whip curl. 1576 01:01:29,060 --> 01:01:30,603 And then, I said to him, 1577 01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:33,523 "Uh, if you mess with my show, you're gonna get burned. 1578 01:01:33,606 --> 01:01:34,899 "Uh, literally." It just... 1579 01:01:34,982 --> 01:01:37,735 It just seemed like something to say. 1580 01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:40,071 A catchphrase. 1581 01:01:40,154 --> 01:01:41,781 Hello? 1582 01:01:41,864 --> 01:01:44,492 Your friends tell me you have something that is mine. 1583 01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,202 Who is this? What friends? 1584 01:01:46,285 --> 01:01:49,622 Is this like camp friends? Is this Lieberman? 1585 01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:51,457 Caleb, do whatever she says. She's gonna kill us. 1586 01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:53,793 Lieberman, I swear to God, if this is one of your bits 1587 01:01:53,876 --> 01:01:55,962 it's not even that funny because I actually have some friends 1588 01:01:56,045 --> 01:01:56,838 who are in legitimate danger right now. 1589 01:01:56,921 --> 01:01:59,382 Caleb, it's Gail! 1590 01:01:59,465 --> 01:02:03,177 Bring my reports to 25933 1591 01:02:03,261 --> 01:02:04,804 Sand Canyon Way, 1592 01:02:04,887 --> 01:02:09,684 Santa Clarita, California, 91387. 1593 01:02:09,767 --> 01:02:11,978 And bring them within the hour. 1594 01:02:12,061 --> 01:02:14,731 If not, your friends will die! 1595 01:02:16,858 --> 01:02:20,153 Well, either Lieberman's upped his game dramatically, 1596 01:02:20,236 --> 01:02:22,989 or Gail and Otto are in really significant danger. 1597 01:02:23,072 --> 01:02:25,283 -We have to go to that address. -Hey, wait. 1598 01:02:25,366 --> 01:02:26,743 Who are we kidding? 1599 01:02:26,826 --> 01:02:28,828 They're not gonna let us just stroll in there, 1600 01:02:28,911 --> 01:02:30,997 save our friends, and then stroll right back out. 1601 01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,875 Come on, let's face it. They're... 1602 01:02:33,958 --> 01:02:35,168 They're dead already. 1603 01:02:37,295 --> 01:02:38,755 - Vincent. - Hey, hey, hey. 1604 01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:41,132 Why is this here? 1605 01:02:41,215 --> 01:02:43,760 It's just a roll of film, man. 1606 01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:46,262 -Why is this in here? -It's just a roll of film. 1607 01:02:46,345 --> 01:02:48,055 -Why is this in here? -It's a roll of film! 1608 01:02:48,139 --> 01:02:49,974 -Why is it in here? -It is a roll of film! 1609 01:02:50,057 --> 01:02:51,809 -Vincent! -Okay, it's there to remind me 1610 01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:54,061 to never leave what's important behind! 1611 01:02:58,483 --> 01:03:00,443 -Let's go save our friends. -Wet's woll. 1612 01:03:01,277 --> 01:03:02,695 Hey, can I go? 1613 01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:03,905 'Cause if I don't finish my show, 1614 01:03:03,988 --> 01:03:05,823 - I'm out $600. - Sir, 1615 01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:06,699 -you need to calm down. -No, no... 1616 01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:16,209 I know this place. 1617 01:03:16,292 --> 01:03:17,710 We shot an episode of Love Boat here. 1618 01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,003 - Really? - Here? 1619 01:03:19,086 --> 01:03:20,671 It was a bottle episode. 1620 01:03:20,755 --> 01:03:22,256 Wait, how old are you? 1621 01:03:22,340 --> 01:03:23,800 You guys hear that? 1622 01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:24,967 - You guys hear that? - What the heck? 1623 01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:25,635 - Otto! - Gail! Oh, my God. 1624 01:03:25,718 --> 01:03:27,053 Oh, my God. 1625 01:03:27,136 --> 01:03:28,346 Thank God you're okay. 1626 01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:29,806 I got it. 1627 01:03:30,431 --> 01:03:31,682 Thank you. 1628 01:03:32,433 --> 01:03:33,559 Oh, thank God. 1629 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,228 -Hi. Are you okay? -Yeah, yeah. 1630 01:03:38,022 --> 01:03:39,816 - Hey. - Hi. 1631 01:03:46,697 --> 01:03:48,407 My reports, please. 1632 01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:49,951 The reports are... 1633 01:03:50,034 --> 01:03:51,828 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses, Slattery. 1634 01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:54,539 Everybody hold your horses. 1635 01:03:54,622 --> 01:03:56,249 We got the reports. They're close by. 1636 01:03:56,332 --> 01:03:58,000 But first, we're gonna need some assurance 1637 01:03:58,084 --> 01:03:59,460 that we're getting out of here alive. 1638 01:03:59,544 --> 01:04:01,879 What? You don't trust me? 1639 01:04:01,963 --> 01:04:03,589 Lady, I trust in three things only. 1640 01:04:03,673 --> 01:04:05,675 My mommy, death, and taxes. 1641 01:04:05,758 --> 01:04:07,468 And last I checked, I'm still alive. 1642 01:04:07,552 --> 01:04:09,554 I use TurboTax, and nobody here's breastfeeding me. 1643 01:04:09,637 --> 01:04:13,432 So, yeah, we got a couple of requests on our end. 1644 01:04:13,516 --> 01:04:15,768 You are in no position to bargain. 1645 01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:17,353 We see things a little bit differently, 1646 01:04:17,436 --> 01:04:19,522 because it seems to us that without those documents, 1647 01:04:19,605 --> 01:04:21,065 you don't have what you want. 1648 01:04:21,148 --> 01:04:23,109 And it seems to me that the only people 1649 01:04:23,192 --> 01:04:25,069 who know where the documents are is us. 1650 01:04:25,152 --> 01:04:28,865 So it seems like right now you need us alive. 1651 01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:32,076 What do you want? 1652 01:04:32,159 --> 01:04:33,452 You tell your goon boys 1653 01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:34,787 to drop their guns and leave us alone. 1654 01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:36,372 We walk out of here unscathed. 1655 01:04:36,455 --> 01:04:38,040 You get your documents. It's a win-win. 1656 01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:44,422 Okay. 1657 01:04:44,505 --> 01:04:46,883 Everybody, put your guns in the trash and take a break. 1658 01:04:48,634 --> 01:04:49,886 Happy now? 1659 01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:56,142 Well, I feel like they did everything that we asked for. 1660 01:04:56,225 --> 01:04:57,894 They put the guns in the trash... 1661 01:04:57,977 --> 01:04:59,645 They gave something, we need to give something. 1662 01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:00,563 - You guys wanna take a vote? - Yeah. We all in? 1663 01:05:00,646 --> 01:05:02,064 -Vincent? -Okay. 1664 01:05:02,148 --> 01:05:02,899 - Give her the reports. - Yeah. 1665 01:05:05,109 --> 01:05:07,778 Here we go. 1666 01:05:09,488 --> 01:05:10,531 Right there. One more. 1667 01:05:12,617 --> 01:05:14,994 These are... Yeah, right there. There you are. 1668 01:05:15,077 --> 01:05:16,537 - And we have one more. One more. - Do you need help? 1669 01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:19,165 -Gail, give me a hand? -Yeah, sure. 1670 01:05:19,248 --> 01:05:22,793 - Okay. - Right there. And one more. 1671 01:05:22,877 --> 01:05:24,754 One more. Come on. 1672 01:05:24,837 --> 01:05:26,964 There it is. And one more, one more. 1673 01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:36,682 Well, that's that. 1674 01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:39,101 -So much for our movie pitch. -At least we're alive. 1675 01:05:39,185 --> 01:05:40,728 Hey, Caleb, you are quite a negotiator. 1676 01:05:40,811 --> 01:05:42,188 -Yeah. -Wow. 1677 01:05:42,271 --> 01:05:43,940 It's all here. 1678 01:05:44,023 --> 01:05:45,191 Hey. 1679 01:05:45,274 --> 01:05:47,777 - Kill them. - Wait, what? 1680 01:05:47,860 --> 01:05:49,445 Wait, wait, wait... No, no, no, no, no. 1681 01:05:49,528 --> 01:05:51,030 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1682 01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:52,740 We should have anticipated that they'd come back 1683 01:05:52,823 --> 01:05:54,283 and get their guns again. 1684 01:05:54,367 --> 01:05:56,077 Yeah. Don't blame yourself. I missed it, too. 1685 01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,371 These guys are professional killers, right? 1686 01:05:58,454 --> 01:05:59,664 - We both missed it. - We all missed it. 1687 01:05:59,747 --> 01:06:01,415 - Yeah. - I'm kicking myself now. 1688 01:06:01,499 --> 01:06:03,042 It was right in my face. 1689 01:06:03,125 --> 01:06:04,168 Hey, Slattery, now would be a good time 1690 01:06:04,251 --> 01:06:05,795 to pull off some of those moves. 1691 01:06:05,878 --> 01:06:07,046 I told you, I can't... I can't do it. 1692 01:06:07,129 --> 01:06:08,631 Real violence makes me throw up. 1693 01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:11,258 John, no flying machine 1694 01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:13,678 will ever fly from New York to Paris. 1695 01:06:13,761 --> 01:06:17,014 -What? -Orville Wright said that. 1696 01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:18,432 Now, do you understand what I'm saying? 1697 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,643 Yeah. 1698 01:06:20,726 --> 01:06:21,936 Yeah, I understand. 1699 01:06:22,937 --> 01:06:24,355 Stand back, everybody. 1700 01:06:24,438 --> 01:06:26,023 - I got this. - Okay. 1701 01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:27,817 Fellas, fellas. 1702 01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:30,152 Nobody wants to get hurt, right? 1703 01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,821 So why don't we just handle it like this? 1704 01:06:35,741 --> 01:06:36,867 Whoa! 1705 01:06:38,577 --> 01:06:39,870 Hi-yah! 1706 01:06:42,289 --> 01:06:44,000 - Hey, hey, hey. - Not bad, right? 1707 01:06:45,751 --> 01:06:47,878 Hey, boys. Come on! 1708 01:06:50,339 --> 01:06:51,257 Take that. 1709 01:06:52,383 --> 01:06:54,301 Too slow. 1710 01:06:54,385 --> 01:06:55,886 - Good job. - Nope. 1711 01:06:59,348 --> 01:07:02,268 What the fuck? 1712 01:07:02,351 --> 01:07:03,561 Consider that a divorce. 1713 01:07:03,644 --> 01:07:04,812 Hey, you're mine! 1714 01:07:04,895 --> 01:07:06,480 You want some, too, baldy? 1715 01:07:06,564 --> 01:07:08,065 Take that. 1716 01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:11,068 This is fun. I can do this all day. 1717 01:07:11,152 --> 01:07:12,862 Got your eye, motherfucker. 1718 01:07:12,945 --> 01:07:14,697 Ooh! 1719 01:07:14,780 --> 01:07:16,115 Going up, motherfucker. 1720 01:07:16,198 --> 01:07:17,324 I got you, asshole! 1721 01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:23,122 Down goes Frazier. 1722 01:07:23,205 --> 01:07:24,540 Slattery, you old son of a bitch. 1723 01:07:26,751 --> 01:07:28,294 Oh! Still got it. 1724 01:07:30,212 --> 01:07:32,506 This is for Nico and Marco 1725 01:07:32,590 --> 01:07:34,175 and all the unnecessary agita you caused me 1726 01:07:34,258 --> 01:07:35,801 over the last 11 and a half hours. 1727 01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:37,136 -No, no, no, no. -You kill my friends, 1728 01:07:37,219 --> 01:07:39,346 I kill your friends. Bye-bye. 1729 01:07:39,430 --> 01:07:41,348 No, no, no, no. Please, please. 1730 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,851 Huh? 1731 01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:48,064 Stings. 1732 01:07:55,404 --> 01:07:57,281 -Whoops. -Let's face it. 1733 01:07:57,364 --> 01:07:59,116 You can pack quite a punch. "Let's face it." 1734 01:08:00,868 --> 01:08:02,078 Wow. 1735 01:08:02,161 --> 01:08:03,621 Where did you learn that, man? 1736 01:08:03,704 --> 01:08:06,248 I'm self-taught. Totally self-taught. 1737 01:08:06,332 --> 01:08:07,708 I have a practice head in my garage. 1738 01:08:07,792 --> 01:08:09,001 Did you see that? He saved my life. 1739 01:08:09,085 --> 01:08:10,544 - I gotta tell you... - Unreal. 1740 01:08:10,628 --> 01:08:11,921 Oh, shit. 1741 01:08:17,843 --> 01:08:21,180 Ding-ding. Round two, motherfuckers. 1742 01:08:21,263 --> 01:08:22,681 I'll take 'em one by one. 1743 01:08:32,733 --> 01:08:34,944 Wow, I thought that was gonna take much more time and energy. 1744 01:08:35,027 --> 01:08:36,821 Yeah, you know, we just picked up those dead guys' guns. 1745 01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:38,364 -We just went for it. -Improvised a little. 1746 01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:39,782 The guns make it easier. 1747 01:08:39,865 --> 01:08:41,325 I've never shot a gun before in my life. 1748 01:08:41,408 --> 01:08:42,368 - Thank you. - I would have never guessed. 1749 01:08:43,911 --> 01:08:45,412 - Damn it. - Get her! 1750 01:08:53,587 --> 01:08:54,964 - Tom? I have to call you back. - Gail. 1751 01:08:55,047 --> 01:08:56,006 I was able to extend the deposit. 1752 01:08:56,090 --> 01:08:57,299 We'll talk about this later. 1753 01:08:57,383 --> 01:08:58,342 I'm literally in the middle of a thing. 1754 01:08:58,425 --> 01:08:59,593 I have to call you back. 1755 01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:00,970 Are you on a treadmill right now? 1756 01:09:08,894 --> 01:09:10,146 Get back here! 1757 01:09:15,734 --> 01:09:17,862 Hey, give us one good reason 1758 01:09:17,945 --> 01:09:20,281 why we shouldn't kill you... right now. 1759 01:09:20,364 --> 01:09:22,992 -I have very powerful friends. -Uh-huh. 1760 01:09:23,075 --> 01:09:24,451 - We can make a deal. - Like what? 1761 01:09:24,535 --> 01:09:26,871 Let me explain. 1762 01:09:26,954 --> 01:09:28,205 - What do you guys think? - Yeah, yeah. 1763 01:09:28,289 --> 01:09:29,582 -Yeah, give her a shot. -You sure? 1764 01:09:29,665 --> 01:09:30,666 - Yeah. - Yeah, let her explain. 1765 01:09:30,749 --> 01:09:32,543 Let her explain. 1766 01:09:32,626 --> 01:09:35,337 -We're listening. -Okay. What if... 1767 01:09:35,421 --> 01:09:37,089 Caleb! 1768 01:09:37,173 --> 01:09:39,300 We just said that we would listen to what she has to say. 1769 01:09:39,383 --> 01:09:41,427 I'm sorry. It's the adrenaline. I just had to do it. 1770 01:09:41,510 --> 01:09:43,888 Okay. Continue, uh... 1771 01:09:43,971 --> 01:09:46,515 -Ludovica. -That is so pretty. 1772 01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:47,725 - Thank you. - I've never heard that... 1773 01:09:47,808 --> 01:09:49,560 Vincent. What did I just say? 1774 01:09:49,643 --> 01:09:50,895 I know, but you saw what they tried to do to us back there. 1775 01:09:50,978 --> 01:09:52,146 She tried to kill us all. 1776 01:09:52,229 --> 01:09:53,689 We said that we would at least listen 1777 01:09:53,772 --> 01:09:55,566 to what she has to propose... 1778 01:09:55,649 --> 01:09:58,110 -Guys, what is going on? -Why don't they listen to you? 1779 01:09:58,194 --> 01:09:59,695 Ludovica, just let me... 1780 01:09:59,778 --> 01:10:00,946 You're already on thin ice, 1781 01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:02,448 so just shut up for a second, okay? 1782 01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:03,949 -Otto, don't hit her. -Yeah? Sorry. Yeah. 1783 01:10:04,033 --> 01:10:05,534 -Slattery. -What? 1784 01:10:05,618 --> 01:10:06,827 Do you need to get one in before we can listen 1785 01:10:06,911 --> 01:10:07,870 -to what she has to say? -No. I'm good. 1786 01:10:07,953 --> 01:10:08,913 I got all mine out back there. 1787 01:10:08,996 --> 01:10:10,831 -Okay. Everybody chill? -Yeah. 1788 01:10:10,915 --> 01:10:11,999 Yeah, I'm super chill. Super chill. 1789 01:10:12,082 --> 01:10:13,500 -Ludovica. -Yes? 1790 01:10:13,584 --> 01:10:17,546 -The floor is yours. -Really? Now? 1791 01:10:17,630 --> 01:10:21,258 - Okay? So, if you let me go... - Oh! 1792 01:10:21,342 --> 01:10:23,636 Guys, what in the actual fuck? 1793 01:10:31,185 --> 01:10:32,228 You're all out. 1794 01:10:34,521 --> 01:10:36,106 Wait. Wait. 1795 01:10:44,365 --> 01:10:47,868 Huh? You like that? 1796 01:10:56,752 --> 01:11:00,339 All right, all right. All right, you did it. You're good. 1797 01:11:04,260 --> 01:11:06,053 - Oh, my God. - Gail. 1798 01:11:07,221 --> 01:11:08,514 She said, "Wait." Why did you... 1799 01:11:08,597 --> 01:11:10,266 I got swept up in it, too. What can I say? 1800 01:11:10,349 --> 01:11:13,519 I'm human. I'm not perfect. 1801 01:11:13,602 --> 01:11:15,646 Of course. Of course. No, we're not judging. 1802 01:11:15,729 --> 01:11:17,064 Jeez. 1803 01:11:19,024 --> 01:11:21,110 Let's finish what we started, huh? 1804 01:11:23,779 --> 01:11:25,322 - You guys ready? - Yes! 1805 01:11:25,406 --> 01:11:26,865 You got all the paperwork? 1806 01:11:26,949 --> 01:11:28,659 Wow, that instant stain remover pen really works. 1807 01:11:28,742 --> 01:11:29,535 - Doesn't it? - Yeah. 1808 01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:34,206 You're back. I like you guys, 1809 01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:35,916 but if you keep coming here with nothing to offer, 1810 01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:37,876 I'm professionally obligated to make you sick. 1811 01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:39,753 We have a movie pitch for Jon Hamm. 1812 01:11:39,837 --> 01:11:41,839 What's it about? Lay it down in two minutes or less. 1813 01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:43,966 Well, Terrence, I could give you the old verbal pitch. 1814 01:11:44,049 --> 01:11:45,801 That'd be easy. But I'm gonna do you one better 1815 01:11:45,884 --> 01:11:49,221 because sometimes, a giant stack of loose paperwork 1816 01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:50,723 is worth a thousand pitches. 1817 01:11:52,391 --> 01:11:55,436 -Is this blood on here? -Yeah. 1818 01:11:55,519 --> 01:11:56,562 Do you want to explain where it came from? 1819 01:11:56,645 --> 01:11:57,479 No. 1820 01:11:58,188 --> 01:11:59,231 Okay. 1821 01:12:06,530 --> 01:12:08,574 Wow. 1822 01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:11,410 This is the kind of part Jon Hamm would destroy. 1823 01:12:11,493 --> 01:12:13,829 Yes! 1824 01:12:13,912 --> 01:12:16,874 I think it's finally time for you to meet Mr. Hamm. 1825 01:12:34,433 --> 01:12:36,518 Hey. I'm Jon. What's up? 1826 01:12:36,602 --> 01:12:39,646 Wow. It is such an honor to meet you. 1827 01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:42,775 My name is Gail, and these are my friends. 1828 01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:46,570 -Otto, Caleb, Vincent and... -Slat-man! I owe you a text. 1829 01:12:46,653 --> 01:12:48,405 Dude, no worries at all. 1830 01:12:48,489 --> 01:12:50,491 -It's all good. -So, my friend Terrence tells me 1831 01:12:50,574 --> 01:12:52,076 you guys have a movie to pitch me? 1832 01:12:52,159 --> 01:12:54,411 Yes, we do, and it is a home run. 1833 01:12:54,495 --> 01:12:56,413 Well, it better be, 'cause if it is, 1834 01:12:56,497 --> 01:12:58,499 I will literally do anything for you. 1835 01:12:58,582 --> 01:13:00,459 - I'm gonna hold you to that. - Okay, and, Slattery, 1836 01:13:00,542 --> 01:13:01,877 you're gonna be co-starring in this? 1837 01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:03,253 -What? -Don Draper, Roger Sterling, 1838 01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:04,588 back together again? 1839 01:13:04,671 --> 01:13:06,215 Yeah! 1840 01:13:06,298 --> 01:13:08,050 I'm gonna have to check my schedule, but yeah. 1841 01:13:08,133 --> 01:13:10,260 Oh, and, Vince here is an excellent writer. 1842 01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:11,720 He's gonna do the screenplay. 1843 01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:13,931 Oh, the all-important scribe. Yes, sir. 1844 01:13:15,557 --> 01:13:18,268 And I assume you are the negotiator? 1845 01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:19,895 Oh, yeah. Well, I worked at CAA, 1846 01:13:19,978 --> 01:13:21,271 but I'm between agencies at the moment. 1847 01:13:21,355 --> 01:13:22,981 Well, not for long, 1848 01:13:23,065 --> 01:13:24,400 if this thing does what I think it's gonna do, am I right? 1849 01:13:24,483 --> 01:13:27,403 Yeah, he's right about that. 1850 01:13:27,486 --> 01:13:28,862 Now, what about my hair? 1851 01:13:28,946 --> 01:13:30,948 Who's gonna take care of that? Any ideas there? 1852 01:13:31,031 --> 01:13:34,118 Um, you're looking at it. Three years combined experience. 1853 01:13:34,201 --> 01:13:36,412 Perfect. I am psyched. 1854 01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:38,205 Let's hear this pitch. 1855 01:13:38,288 --> 01:13:40,874 Well, listen, Jonny, I'd give the old verbal pitch. 1856 01:13:40,958 --> 01:13:42,668 That'd be easy. But I'm gonna do you one better 1857 01:13:42,751 --> 01:13:45,254 because sometimes, a binder full of loose paperwork 1858 01:13:45,337 --> 01:13:46,547 is worth a thousand pitches. 1859 01:13:46,630 --> 01:13:48,674 Okay, but I don't want to read it. 1860 01:13:48,757 --> 01:13:50,884 -You... -Just tell me the story. 1861 01:13:50,968 --> 01:13:52,511 Tell you... He wants to hear the story. 1862 01:13:52,594 --> 01:13:54,304 - You want me to go? - Oh, yes. 1863 01:13:54,388 --> 01:13:56,974 What do I say? Guys? Guys... It's a story about espionage. 1864 01:13:57,057 --> 01:13:59,059 Of double identities. 1865 01:13:59,143 --> 01:14:00,519 A secret global network... 1866 01:14:00,602 --> 01:14:01,895 Okay, let me stop you right there 1867 01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:03,522 'cause I think I get the world of this. 1868 01:14:03,605 --> 01:14:05,357 But where's the heart? 1869 01:14:05,441 --> 01:14:07,526 -The heart? -The heart, the heart. 1870 01:14:07,609 --> 01:14:09,695 That's where your character comes in. 1871 01:14:09,778 --> 01:14:12,281 He's a guy who's been put to the test... 1872 01:14:12,364 --> 01:14:14,741 -Yeah. -Okay? Until he finally realizes 1873 01:14:14,825 --> 01:14:16,743 what it's all about. The people you love. 1874 01:14:16,827 --> 01:14:18,203 Okay, I like that, 1875 01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:19,955 but I don't want it to be too dumbed down. 1876 01:14:20,038 --> 01:14:22,040 Don't you worry about that. It is the opposite of dumb. 1877 01:14:22,124 --> 01:14:23,792 It blows the lid off the entire genre, 1878 01:14:23,876 --> 01:14:25,794 and it's all centered around a loose pile of paperwork 1879 01:14:25,878 --> 01:14:27,713 that can't fall into the wrong hands or else... 1880 01:14:27,796 --> 01:14:29,298 Get this, Jon. 1881 01:14:29,381 --> 01:14:31,300 -Major clusterfuck. -Clusterfuck. That's smart. 1882 01:14:31,383 --> 01:14:33,594 Okay, so it's smart and it has heart. 1883 01:14:33,677 --> 01:14:35,095 - Yes. - But does it have cojones? 1884 01:14:35,179 --> 01:14:38,056 Oh, buddy, big ones. Try this on for size. 1885 01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:42,519 One man, two fists, killing maybe 20, maybe 30 henchmen. 1886 01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:44,354 I don't know, it felt like the same eight guys 1887 01:14:44,438 --> 01:14:45,439 recycled over and over again. 1888 01:14:45,522 --> 01:14:47,983 But real life. Raw. Uncensored. 1889 01:14:48,066 --> 01:14:50,611 -Physical. Visceral. -I'm getting goosebumps. 1890 01:14:51,862 --> 01:14:53,405 This is crazy. 1891 01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:54,364 - This has got balls! - Yes! 1892 01:14:56,074 --> 01:14:57,159 Yeah. 1893 01:14:57,951 --> 01:14:58,911 Pass. 1894 01:15:00,787 --> 01:15:02,122 -What? -What? 1895 01:15:02,206 --> 01:15:04,458 Yeah. Respectfully, I'm gonna pass on this. 1896 01:15:04,541 --> 01:15:06,418 But thank you guys for coming by. What fun. 1897 01:15:06,502 --> 01:15:08,170 I gotta jump on a Zoom, so... 1898 01:15:08,253 --> 01:15:10,005 Wait, wait, wait. That's it? 1899 01:15:10,088 --> 01:15:12,007 What don't you like? Because we're not married to anything. 1900 01:15:12,090 --> 01:15:14,468 -Yeah, we can change anything. -Literally everything. 1901 01:15:14,551 --> 01:15:16,970 No. Yeah, no, no, I'm just not feeling it at all. 1902 01:15:17,054 --> 01:15:18,764 So, Terrence is gonna show you out. Thanks again. 1903 01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:21,225 -Fun. -Buddy... 1904 01:15:21,308 --> 01:15:22,976 Oh, hey. Y'all heard him. Everybody out. 1905 01:15:23,060 --> 01:15:24,811 Everybody out. Let's get out. 1906 01:15:24,895 --> 01:15:27,481 You lost. It happens sometimes. That's... That's the way it is. 1907 01:15:27,564 --> 01:15:28,732 Where's the girl? 1908 01:15:30,984 --> 01:15:32,194 What? 1909 01:15:33,237 --> 01:15:34,571 This isn't a Zoom. 1910 01:15:34,655 --> 01:15:37,157 Oh, shame on you, Jon Hamm. 1911 01:15:37,241 --> 01:15:40,285 We came all this way. We risked our lives to find you. 1912 01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:41,662 And for what? 1913 01:15:41,745 --> 01:15:43,205 You making promises to each of us 1914 01:15:43,288 --> 01:15:45,958 that you had no intention of keeping. 1915 01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:48,001 You're not the person that I thought you were. 1916 01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:51,630 You're absolutely right. 1917 01:15:54,716 --> 01:15:55,634 The honest truth is... 1918 01:15:56,468 --> 01:15:57,761 I'm just scared. 1919 01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,515 Sorry, Mr. Hamm. She snuck by me... 1920 01:16:01,598 --> 01:16:03,100 Terrence, it's okay. Please, please. 1921 01:16:03,183 --> 01:16:04,935 Don't make her sick. 1922 01:16:05,018 --> 01:16:08,981 -He's gonna make you sick, Gail. -Guys, guys, look. 1923 01:16:09,064 --> 01:16:11,024 I made it seem like I could set up your project 1924 01:16:11,108 --> 01:16:14,486 because that's what I thought you wanted to hear. 1925 01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:16,989 But the truth is, you can't do anything for any of us. 1926 01:16:17,072 --> 01:16:19,992 You're just an actor. 1927 01:16:20,075 --> 01:16:21,577 You don't know any more about how to set up 1928 01:16:21,660 --> 01:16:23,745 the nuts and bolts of a movie than any of us do. 1929 01:16:25,706 --> 01:16:28,584 -Isn't that right? -Honestly, yes. 1930 01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:30,711 I'm a grown man, but inside I'm still just a... 1931 01:16:31,503 --> 01:16:33,130 little kid. 1932 01:16:33,213 --> 01:16:36,592 That same awkward wanderer who finally found his place 1933 01:16:36,675 --> 01:16:39,553 when he got cast as Winnie-the-Pooh in first grade. 1934 01:16:39,636 --> 01:16:40,887 -Oh. -My teacher said I was 1935 01:16:40,971 --> 01:16:43,265 one of the best Poohs of the year. 1936 01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:44,850 I bet you were a great Pooh. 1937 01:16:44,933 --> 01:16:46,518 That's when I got bit by the acting bug. 1938 01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:48,103 - Huh. - And I never got cured. 1939 01:16:48,186 --> 01:16:49,855 In high school, I did a wonderful production 1940 01:16:49,938 --> 01:16:51,106 -of Godspell. -Let's get to the part 1941 01:16:51,189 --> 01:16:52,316 about Mad Men. 1942 01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:56,737 Well, Mad Men was a juggernaut beyond my wildest dreams. 1943 01:16:56,820 --> 01:16:58,739 Of all the jobs I did in 2007, 1944 01:16:58,822 --> 01:17:01,241 it was arguably the most high profile. 1945 01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:03,452 Those were the days. Wall-to-wall trim. 1946 01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:04,786 But then I looked around. 1947 01:17:04,870 --> 01:17:06,038 People started seeing me differently. 1948 01:17:06,121 --> 01:17:08,290 They started seeing "Jon Hamm," 1949 01:17:08,373 --> 01:17:11,043 the larger-than-life guy with the great jaw 1950 01:17:11,126 --> 01:17:13,712 and the perfect hairline. You know? 1951 01:17:13,795 --> 01:17:15,672 So I guess I just started reflecting back to the public 1952 01:17:15,756 --> 01:17:17,257 what I thought they wanted to see. 1953 01:17:17,341 --> 01:17:20,969 The Jon Hamm they see on the billboards, it's not me. 1954 01:17:21,053 --> 01:17:22,638 I'm just the guy behind the curtain, 1955 01:17:23,764 --> 01:17:25,098 pulling the levers. 1956 01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:27,476 I guess we all came a long way for nothing. 1957 01:17:29,186 --> 01:17:30,812 Sorry to waste your time. 1958 01:17:32,773 --> 01:17:35,359 - Let's go. - Wait, wait. 1959 01:17:35,442 --> 01:17:37,736 I may not be able to help you set up this project, 1960 01:17:37,819 --> 01:17:39,780 but I can do something for you guys. 1961 01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:44,910 Caleb, what if I was to call CAA 1962 01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:48,538 and strongly suggest that they give you your job back? 1963 01:17:48,622 --> 01:17:50,457 -That'd be amazing... -Yes. 1964 01:17:50,540 --> 01:17:52,250 And, Slattery, I got roped into doing 1965 01:17:52,334 --> 01:17:54,002 my lawyer's kid's student film, 1966 01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:56,380 but I bet I could convince them to give you the job instead. 1967 01:17:56,463 --> 01:17:57,506 Wow. Thanks, man. 1968 01:17:57,589 --> 01:17:58,882 They say that student films 1969 01:17:58,965 --> 01:18:00,217 are the gateway to bigger stuff sometimes. 1970 01:18:00,300 --> 01:18:01,510 -Vincent? -Yes? 1971 01:18:01,593 --> 01:18:02,761 You wanted to be a screenwriter? 1972 01:18:03,595 --> 01:18:04,680 Well... 1973 01:18:06,056 --> 01:18:08,767 I'm more of a photographer these days. 1974 01:18:08,850 --> 01:18:10,394 Would you mind if I get a shot of you? 1975 01:18:10,477 --> 01:18:11,645 -I'd be honored. -Yeah! 1976 01:18:11,728 --> 01:18:12,688 Something candid? Like this? 1977 01:18:15,691 --> 01:18:18,110 Perfect. 1978 01:18:21,321 --> 01:18:22,197 Just perfect. 1979 01:18:25,409 --> 01:18:27,577 Oh, and, Otto, I have something for you. 1980 01:18:27,661 --> 01:18:30,580 My swag bag from the Movie and Television awards. 1981 01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:32,749 It's got a whole bunch of stuff I will never use, 1982 01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:35,585 including some VIP passes to Magic Mountain. 1983 01:18:37,129 --> 01:18:38,755 Oh, Magic Mountain. I want to go. 1984 01:18:38,839 --> 01:18:40,716 -Thank you. -It's the least I could do. 1985 01:18:40,799 --> 01:18:42,134 You guys... 1986 01:18:42,217 --> 01:18:43,635 Thank you for everything, Jon. I mean... 1987 01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:46,388 Wait, wait. What about Gail? 1988 01:18:46,471 --> 01:18:49,099 She's kind of the whole reason we came here in the first place. 1989 01:18:49,182 --> 01:18:51,685 That's right. What about Gail? 1990 01:18:51,768 --> 01:18:54,104 Yeah. Jon. Do Gail next. 1991 01:18:54,187 --> 01:18:55,355 - Guys. - Oh. 1992 01:18:56,106 --> 01:18:58,859 Gail, what's your dream? 1993 01:18:58,942 --> 01:19:01,737 You wanted to be a hairdresser for the movies, am I right? 1994 01:19:02,529 --> 01:19:03,739 Uh... 1995 01:19:06,658 --> 01:19:08,243 No. 1996 01:19:09,035 --> 01:19:10,245 I actually, um... 1997 01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:13,749 have a different kind of request. 1998 01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:42,569 Hey, we'll let... We'll let you two take it from here. 1999 01:19:42,652 --> 01:19:43,570 - Come on. Let's go. - Yeah. 2000 01:20:16,603 --> 01:20:19,356 There you go, Mommy. I'm back in the game. 2001 01:20:19,439 --> 01:20:20,273 Junior assistant. 2002 01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:24,653 - Roll sound. - Rolling sound. 2003 01:20:24,736 --> 01:20:26,780 Speed. Boardroom scene. Take seven. 2004 01:20:26,863 --> 01:20:28,323 - Marker. - Action. 2005 01:20:28,406 --> 01:20:30,575 How many times do I have to tell you guys 2006 01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:32,077 what's going on around here? 2007 01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:34,162 Yeah. What are you doing? You can't smile... 2008 01:20:34,246 --> 01:20:36,081 Nobody seems to know... Nobody's on the same page. 2009 01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:42,462 Sorry this is 15 years late. 2010 01:20:42,546 --> 01:20:45,507 - Wait, what? - Oh. And by the way... 2011 01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:48,635 I quit. 2012 01:20:48,718 --> 01:20:50,720 I'm sorry, who are you? What is this? 2013 01:20:50,804 --> 01:20:53,348 Debbie, who the fuck did you just let in my office? 2014 01:20:53,431 --> 01:20:56,518 Wait a minute. Ha! That son of a bitch. 2015 01:20:56,601 --> 01:20:58,311 He got his white whale. 2016 01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:00,564 I'll be damned. 2017 01:21:00,647 --> 01:21:02,482 Vincent, you old son of a bitch. 2018 01:21:02,566 --> 01:21:04,776 He's gone. Do you want me to go get him? 2019 01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:06,069 Oh, no. That's okay. I can text him. 2020 01:21:06,152 --> 01:21:07,445 Just remind me. Put it on the list. 2021 01:21:07,529 --> 01:21:08,864 And this would be regarding... 2022 01:21:08,947 --> 01:21:10,574 Just put "son of a bitch." 2023 01:21:10,657 --> 01:21:12,534 I'll know what it means. 2024 01:21:15,745 --> 01:21:17,205 I'll know what it means. 2025 01:21:34,222 --> 01:21:35,223 I feel like... 2026 01:21:36,683 --> 01:21:38,560 "I'm floating above the clouds." 2027 01:21:41,104 --> 01:21:43,899 "Chains of yesterday dissolve like morning mist." 2028 01:21:45,692 --> 01:21:48,695 "As I rise on newfound wings, 2029 01:21:48,778 --> 01:21:50,488 "Towards endless blue..." 2030 01:21:51,698 --> 01:21:52,949 "In cloudscapes pure and bright." 2031 01:21:53,033 --> 01:21:54,284 "In cloudscapes pure and bright." 2032 01:21:54,367 --> 01:21:55,452 -"I am made new." -"I am made new." 2033 01:21:55,535 --> 01:21:57,412 What? 2034 01:21:57,495 --> 01:21:59,205 I've never met anyone that knows that poem. 2035 01:21:59,289 --> 01:22:01,541 Who doesn't love J.M. Stansel? 2036 01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:03,460 Are you kidding me? I'm a Stansel junkie. 2037 01:22:06,004 --> 01:22:07,380 I know this sounds crazy, 2038 01:22:07,464 --> 01:22:09,591 but I could imagine you and me rising on wings 2039 01:22:09,674 --> 01:22:11,217 -toward endless blue. -Mm. 2040 01:22:11,301 --> 01:22:12,844 Wouldn't that be something? 2041 01:22:13,845 --> 01:22:15,347 Some other lifetime, maybe. 2042 01:22:16,139 --> 01:22:16,973 Sure. 2043 01:22:17,849 --> 01:22:19,017 Some other lifetime. 2044 01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:25,523 Jon Hamm. 2045 01:22:26,733 --> 01:22:28,985 Who knew? 2046 01:22:29,069 --> 01:22:30,654 It's too bad you're getting married. 2047 01:22:30,737 --> 01:22:32,113 Because I would love to take you 2048 01:22:32,197 --> 01:22:34,199 to this magical spot I know in St. Blarts. 2049 01:22:35,742 --> 01:22:38,161 Soomer in St. Blarts sounds incredible. 2050 01:22:39,663 --> 01:22:41,247 I'm so flattered. 2051 01:22:41,331 --> 01:22:44,960 But, yes, I am getting married 2052 01:22:45,043 --> 01:22:47,712 and so I can't go to St. Blarts with you. 2053 01:22:48,421 --> 01:22:50,465 But... 2054 01:22:50,548 --> 01:22:53,677 sincerely, it was so great to fuck you. 2055 01:22:53,760 --> 01:22:55,929 And thanks for everything. 2056 01:22:58,473 --> 01:22:59,933 -Be well. -You, too. 2057 01:23:07,899 --> 01:23:10,110 What a day. 2058 01:23:10,193 --> 01:23:13,113 - LAX, please. - You got it. 2059 01:23:13,196 --> 01:23:14,656 Probably good you're getting out of the city. 2060 01:23:14,739 --> 01:23:16,658 I'm sure you heard about the mess that happened 2061 01:23:16,741 --> 01:23:18,994 at the abandoned movie lot the other night. 2062 01:23:20,203 --> 01:23:21,663 -Go ahead. Go around me. -Uh... 2063 01:23:22,789 --> 01:23:24,082 No, no. I'm... I haven't heard. 2064 01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:25,750 -What happened? -You haven't heard? Oh... 2065 01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:28,420 They found dozens of dead bodies out there. 2066 01:23:28,503 --> 01:23:31,172 It's just impossible to process. 2067 01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:34,092 I mean, nothing like that has ever happened before. 2068 01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,636 Hey, sorry, I think I recognize you. 2069 01:23:36,720 --> 01:23:39,014 Are you Elizabeth Perkins, by any chance? 2070 01:23:39,097 --> 01:23:40,390 Yes. 2071 01:23:40,473 --> 01:23:41,683 Hey, there. 2072 01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:46,479 Get over here, Solly. 2073 01:23:46,563 --> 01:23:48,481 The ceremony's gonna start in a few minutes. 2074 01:23:48,565 --> 01:23:49,774 Do you know what works... 2075 01:23:49,858 --> 01:23:51,192 - What? - ...with bridesmaids? 2076 01:23:51,276 --> 01:23:54,029 A little Slattery flattery. 2077 01:23:54,112 --> 01:23:56,364 How about some... How about some Caleb... 2078 01:24:00,493 --> 01:24:01,870 Okay. 2079 01:24:01,953 --> 01:24:03,830 So, when I tell you you may kiss the bride, 2080 01:24:03,913 --> 01:24:05,415 that's your cue to, uh... 2081 01:24:05,498 --> 01:24:07,625 Well, I'm gonna keep this PG. 2082 01:24:07,709 --> 01:24:10,295 I'm not sure I understand. 2083 01:24:10,378 --> 01:24:12,505 Mm. Nobody rocks a whip curl like my girl. 2084 01:24:14,883 --> 01:24:17,594 Hey, you're still feeling okay about all this, right? 2085 01:24:17,677 --> 01:24:20,597 No. Yeah. Yes, no. No, I am feeling good. 2086 01:24:20,680 --> 01:24:21,848 -You sure? -Yeah. 2087 01:24:21,931 --> 01:24:23,725 I mean, Tom is far from perfect. 2088 01:24:24,976 --> 01:24:26,770 Like, he works too much. 2089 01:24:26,853 --> 01:24:28,730 He drinks a little bit more than I'd like him to. 2090 01:24:28,813 --> 01:24:30,899 He snores so loud. 2091 01:24:30,982 --> 01:24:33,985 He'll never say things like, "Thank you" or "I'm sorry." 2092 01:24:34,069 --> 01:24:36,488 And when I had that full hysterectomy, 2093 01:24:36,571 --> 01:24:39,449 and I really, really needed him to be there for me, 2094 01:24:40,825 --> 01:24:42,285 -he essentially checked out. -Yeah. 2095 01:24:42,368 --> 01:24:44,788 I think it's just about picking your poison. 2096 01:24:44,871 --> 01:24:48,333 And I guess Tom is my poison. 2097 01:24:48,416 --> 01:24:50,168 Make sure you say all that in your vows. 2098 01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:56,049 And now, time for the $64,000 question. 2099 01:24:57,842 --> 01:24:59,302 Gail Elizabeth Daughtry, 2100 01:24:59,385 --> 01:25:01,763 do you take Tom Soursap McNoodleman 2101 01:25:01,846 --> 01:25:03,223 to be your husband, 2102 01:25:03,306 --> 01:25:04,766 to have and to hold from this day forward, 2103 01:25:04,849 --> 01:25:06,351 for better or for worse, 2104 01:25:06,434 --> 01:25:09,312 in sickness and in health, till death do you part? 2105 01:25:17,028 --> 01:25:18,113 I... 2106 01:25:19,239 --> 01:25:20,115 Gail? 2107 01:25:27,413 --> 01:25:29,415 No, I... I'm... 2108 01:25:29,499 --> 01:25:31,793 Wow. I'm sorry. I don't want to marry you. 2109 01:25:31,876 --> 01:25:34,129 Oh! Thank God. 2110 01:25:35,421 --> 01:25:39,801 Tom, you have been my whole world. 2111 01:25:39,884 --> 01:25:42,428 But there's a whole universe out there 2112 01:25:42,512 --> 01:25:44,764 waiting for me to explore. 2113 01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:47,308 There's celebrities, there's fancy hotels 2114 01:25:47,392 --> 01:25:49,519 and unexpected friendships. 2115 01:25:49,602 --> 01:25:50,395 -Hello. -Hi. 2116 01:25:53,898 --> 01:25:55,150 I don't want to hurt you. 2117 01:25:56,526 --> 01:26:00,238 But I guess I have to, Tom. 2118 01:26:00,321 --> 01:26:03,032 Is this because of the Aniston thing? 2119 01:26:03,116 --> 01:26:05,160 Does it change anything if I told you I only half finished? 2120 01:26:06,703 --> 01:26:09,122 Gail! 2121 01:26:12,959 --> 01:26:15,587 Gail! 2122 01:26:16,546 --> 01:26:17,380 Gail! 2123 01:26:19,924 --> 01:26:21,759 -Gail! -Jon. 2124 01:26:21,843 --> 01:26:23,553 Ooh! 2125 01:26:24,762 --> 01:26:25,847 Jon. 2126 01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:30,101 What are you doing here? 2127 01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:33,271 Gail, you are the only woman I have ever met 2128 01:26:33,354 --> 01:26:36,900 who has made me feel good about being the real me. 2129 01:26:36,983 --> 01:26:40,653 And so I flew 1,400 miles in this balloon to tell you 2130 01:26:40,737 --> 01:26:42,614 I want to be with you. Forever. 2131 01:26:42,697 --> 01:26:45,867 Wow. Jon Hamm... 2132 01:26:45,950 --> 01:26:48,369 I never dreamed that I would see you again. 2133 01:26:48,453 --> 01:26:49,662 But as you can see, 2134 01:26:49,746 --> 01:26:51,289 I'm just getting out of something. 2135 01:26:51,372 --> 01:26:53,041 Hey, Jon. 2136 01:26:53,124 --> 01:26:56,211 I'm definitely down to hang. Maybe we can keep it casual? 2137 01:26:56,294 --> 01:26:58,504 Oh, totally. Why don't we just keep it loose and freaky? 2138 01:26:58,588 --> 01:26:59,839 Loose and freaky sounds great. 2139 01:27:00,506 --> 01:27:01,341 Get in here. 2140 01:27:08,306 --> 01:27:10,058 Go, Gail, go. 2141 01:27:12,602 --> 01:27:13,436 Yes. 2142 01:27:18,149 --> 01:27:20,151 What the fuck is happening? 2143 01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:36,793 And if you're wondering 2144 01:27:36,876 --> 01:27:39,254 what happened to Gail and Mr. Hamm... 2145 01:27:39,337 --> 01:27:40,630 I don't know. 2146 01:27:40,713 --> 01:27:42,423 He just picked her up on that balloon, 2147 01:27:42,507 --> 01:27:44,467 and it's happening right now as we speak. 2148 01:27:44,550 --> 01:27:47,345 I mean, I'm not a fortune teller. 2149 01:27:47,428 --> 01:27:49,889 And if I'm being honest, when did it become my job 2150 01:27:49,973 --> 01:27:52,976 to spoon-feed you every little nuanced point in this story? 2151 01:27:53,059 --> 01:27:54,936 I mean, you're 35 years old, right? 2152 01:27:55,019 --> 01:27:56,854 You can figure out some stuff on your own. 2153 01:27:58,147 --> 01:27:59,274 I mean, to tell you the truth, 2154 01:27:59,357 --> 01:28:00,275 I got a lot of problems of my own. 2155 01:28:00,358 --> 01:28:02,026 You know, not that you care, 2156 01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:03,528 because for you, it's all just, "Whatever happened to Gail?" 2157 01:28:03,611 --> 01:28:05,071 You know, "Gail, Gail, Gail." 2158 01:28:05,154 --> 01:28:06,739 Because not for nothing, 2159 01:28:06,823 --> 01:28:08,741 I've really been going through a lot of shit, you know? 2160 01:28:08,825 --> 01:28:10,076 Do you have any idea what it's like 2161 01:28:10,159 --> 01:28:12,287 to have a blood clot in your leg? 2162 01:28:12,370 --> 01:28:14,539 It's a fucking nightmare, that's what it is. 2163 01:28:14,622 --> 01:28:15,957 And then my daughter, 2164 01:28:16,040 --> 01:28:17,542 I don't want to even get into that shit. 2165 01:28:17,625 --> 01:28:19,168 She hasn't returned my phone calls in eight months. 2166 01:28:19,252 --> 01:28:20,336 Eight months! 2167 01:28:20,420 --> 01:28:21,713 And then on top of that, 2168 01:28:21,796 --> 01:28:23,756 there's this whole mishegoss with my roof. 2169 01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:26,759 The roofer, he said $600. Not a fucking penny more. 2170 01:28:26,843 --> 01:28:28,636 And he gave me a bill for double that. 2171 01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:31,055 This guy's a fucking criminal. He should be in jail. 2172 01:28:31,139 --> 01:28:33,308 Do not ever, ever hire Scott Lindhome 2173 01:28:33,391 --> 01:28:34,767 to do anything in your house. 2174 01:32:00,306 --> 01:32:02,350 Gonna make you all sick. 2175 01:32:04,560 --> 01:32:07,647 I'mma make you all very sick. 2176 01:32:10,441 --> 01:32:12,360 Now get outta here before I change my mind 2177 01:32:12,443 --> 01:32:13,528 and make you all real sick. 2178 01:32:15,696 --> 01:32:17,406 Enough questions. 2179 01:32:17,490 --> 01:32:21,536 Unless you want me to make you all very, very sick. 2180 01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:23,287 Nobody wants to get sick, right, fellas? 2181 01:32:23,371 --> 01:32:24,664 No, I definitely don't wanna get sick. 2182 01:32:24,747 --> 01:32:26,624 I just got over something. 2183 01:32:26,707 --> 01:32:28,834 Hey, I'm Scott Lindhome, Scott Lindhome Roofing. 2184 01:32:28,918 --> 01:32:30,419 Look, let me tell you, 2185 01:32:30,503 --> 01:32:32,463 there are two sides to every story. 2186 01:32:32,547 --> 01:32:35,091 What our friendly neighborhood "mailman" forgets to mention 2187 01:32:35,174 --> 01:32:38,386 is the raccoon infestation living under his shingles. 2188 01:32:38,469 --> 01:32:40,179 God! What? Am I supposed to pay for that? 2189 01:32:40,263 --> 01:32:41,597 Are you out of your mind? 2190 01:32:41,681 --> 01:32:44,767 It's $600 for basic shingle replacement. 2191 01:32:44,850 --> 01:32:47,895 Look. See? "Surprises not included." 2192 01:32:47,979 --> 01:32:49,188 And by the way, 2193 01:32:49,272 --> 01:32:52,108 $600 barely pays for the fucking nails. 2194 01:32:52,191 --> 01:32:53,651 You don't believe me? You head on down 2195 01:32:53,734 --> 01:32:55,152 to Home Depot and check for yourself. 2196 01:32:55,236 --> 01:32:56,279 And don't tell me you don't got enough time. 2197 01:32:56,362 --> 01:32:57,655 'Cause I know for a fact 2198 01:32:57,738 --> 01:32:59,240 you have not had a job since April. 2199 01:32:59,323 --> 01:33:01,033 Maybe I did charge him double, but you know what? 2200 01:33:01,117 --> 01:33:02,868 His fucking roof is gonna be watertight 2201 01:33:02,952 --> 01:33:04,620 for the next 20 years, okay? 2202 01:33:05,162 --> 01:33:05,997 End of story. 2203 01:33:09,292 --> 01:33:11,544 Jeez. What the shit? 2204 01:33:15,256 --> 01:33:17,592 Hey, Scott, it's Gail Daughtry. 2205 01:33:17,675 --> 01:33:19,677 I probably haven't seen you since my mom and dad's funeral. 2206 01:33:19,760 --> 01:33:21,387 Anyway, crazy story. 2207 01:33:21,470 --> 01:33:22,888 I'm actually up in a hot-air balloon right now, 2208 01:33:22,972 --> 01:33:24,599 and I can see the roof of my house. 2209 01:33:24,682 --> 01:33:26,475 It is looking like it might need some maintenance. 2210 01:33:26,559 --> 01:33:28,394 What do you think? Anyway, no rush. 2211 01:33:28,477 --> 01:33:30,229 Just call me when you can. 2212 01:33:30,313 --> 01:33:32,023 This is Gail Daughtry... and the Celebrity Sex Pass.160329