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Previously, on
a very special Clone High.
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00:00:04,084 --> 00:00:06,017
Abe Lincoln was about
to profess his love
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00:00:06,086 --> 00:00:09,253
for Joan of Arc, but
JFK got there first.
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00:00:09,322 --> 00:00:11,690
Now, Joan and JFK
are hot and heavy,
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00:00:11,759 --> 00:00:13,190
while Abe's feelings for Joan
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00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:15,960
remain bottled up,
deep down inside.
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00:00:16,029 --> 00:00:18,662
They say, "Contents under
pressure may explode."
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00:00:18,731 --> 00:00:21,532
And pressure is Clone
High's middle name.
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00:00:21,601 --> 00:00:24,438
Don't believe me? Check
the birth certificate.
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00:00:26,472 --> 00:00:29,340
♪ Way, way back in the 1980s ♪
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00:00:29,409 --> 00:00:32,343
♪ Secret government employees ♪
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00:00:32,412 --> 00:00:35,112
♪ Dug up famous
guys And ladies ♪
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00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:38,216
♪ Made amusing genetic copies ♪
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00:00:38,285 --> 00:00:41,052
♪ Then the clones'
genes Were frozen ♪
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00:00:41,122 --> 00:00:44,022
♪ Thawed out
decades later Why ♪
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00:00:44,091 --> 00:00:46,925
♪ Back for reasons
They're not disclosin' ♪
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00:00:46,994 --> 00:00:53,197
♪ Giving high
school Another try ♪
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00:00:53,266 --> 00:00:59,706
♪ It's time to
watch Clone High ♪
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00:01:01,909 --> 00:01:05,813
♪ Clone High ♪
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00:01:07,515 --> 00:01:13,054
♪ Clone High ♪
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00:01:27,935 --> 00:01:31,831
Um, guys, guys,
hello? Uh, gang, hey,
22
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,467
you're on my notes, and my lap.
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00:01:34,537 --> 00:01:36,141
Harriet, sorry.
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00:01:36,209 --> 00:01:38,142
Mm, not sure how
we ended up here.
25
00:01:38,211 --> 00:01:40,678
Did we roll
all the way from my car?
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00:01:40,747 --> 00:01:43,715
Way to go, us.
27
00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:45,924
Maybe we should go make out
on that bench over there, hon,
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00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:47,308
the one where
everyone is studying.
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00:01:48,022 --> 00:01:49,321
Or by the tree over there,
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00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:50,795
where everyone is studying.
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00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,590
With all these dweebs studying,
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00:01:52,659 --> 00:01:54,659
you can't even tell who
the nerds are anymore.
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00:01:54,728 --> 00:01:56,894
Why is everyone so
anxious about a test?
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00:01:56,963 --> 00:02:00,332
Are you kidding me?
Pre-midterms are so important.
35
00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:02,833
With grade inflation, an
A-minus is basically a B-plus
36
00:02:02,902 --> 00:02:05,771
and a B-plus is a one-way
ticket to a B-minus life.
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00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:06,972
And if I'm not careful,
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00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:09,740
I could end up a
basic, normal wine mom,
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00:02:09,809 --> 00:02:12,477
who says things like, "Mama
needs her Chardonnay."
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00:02:12,546 --> 00:02:14,913
Oh, God!
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00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:17,782
Okay, you have to relax.
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00:02:17,851 --> 00:02:20,118
You know what keeps my
mind off stuff like that?
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00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:24,555
My boy-toy, JFK. No
stress, just fun.
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00:02:24,624 --> 00:02:26,458
That's what high
school's all about.
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00:02:26,526 --> 00:02:28,393
Speaking of fun, I got something
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00:02:28,462 --> 00:02:30,195
I wanna pull out.
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00:02:30,264 --> 00:02:34,065
- Um, not here, babe.
- This necklace.
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00:02:34,134 --> 00:02:35,734
- What?
- See, together,
49
00:02:35,803 --> 00:02:39,137
your name plus my
name makes "JoanFK."
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00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:40,638
It's a work of art
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00:02:40,707 --> 00:02:42,541
that symbolizes the
unquestioned permanence
52
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,246
of high school relationships.
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00:02:45,412 --> 00:02:49,314
Uh...
JoanFK is so heavy.
54
00:02:49,383 --> 00:02:51,216
What if, by
wearing this necklace,
55
00:02:51,285 --> 00:02:54,052
I lose my individual identity
and get stuck in a relationship
56
00:02:54,121 --> 00:02:55,587
where I never get
through a TV series
57
00:02:55,656 --> 00:02:57,823
because we have to watch
every single episode together.
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00:02:57,892 --> 00:02:59,169
Then we start ordering
one dessert...
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00:02:59,193 --> 00:03:00,558
- Huh? Ah.
- and sharing it,
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00:03:00,627 --> 00:03:03,128
and I never get my own
molten lava cake again!
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00:03:03,197 --> 00:03:07,165
And you're humping my leg.
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00:03:07,234 --> 00:03:10,035
Sharing a name with JFK
doesn't seem like something
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00:03:10,104 --> 00:03:11,236
Joan would do.
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00:03:11,305 --> 00:03:13,004
And I should know,
being her best friend
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00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:14,973
and secretly in love with her.
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00:03:15,042 --> 00:03:18,542
JoanFK is better than
the other option, JFKoan.
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00:03:18,611 --> 00:03:21,244
It's just that I love Joan,
and I want her to be happy.
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00:03:22,049 --> 00:03:23,614
But if she's happy with JFK,
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00:03:23,683 --> 00:03:25,416
then she'll never
wanna be with me!
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00:03:25,485 --> 00:03:26,930
I'd just be standing by,
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00:03:26,954 --> 00:03:28,552
watching them have the best life
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00:03:28,621 --> 00:03:31,990
while I get older and
older, and older, all alone,
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00:03:32,059 --> 00:03:33,658
with those gross,
yellow fingernails
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00:03:33,727 --> 00:03:35,789
that need to be clipped,
and no one ever tells me!
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00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:39,134
Oh, geez. Frida!
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00:03:46,974 --> 00:03:48,506
Thankfully,
I'm hot enough
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00:03:48,575 --> 00:03:50,487
that I don't have to worry
about stuff like grades.
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00:03:50,511 --> 00:03:54,446
The only
pencil I need is this one.
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00:03:54,515 --> 00:03:56,180
It's empty!
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00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:58,686
Okay, don't panic,
just order more.
81
00:04:00,153 --> 00:04:02,716
No! It's discontinued!
82
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,824
Oh, God! Oh, God!
83
00:04:05,893 --> 00:04:09,059
What if my looks
don't last forever?
84
00:04:09,128 --> 00:04:12,730
What if the woman I love
is happier with someone else?
85
00:04:12,799 --> 00:04:14,244
What if
I never have a career,
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00:04:14,268 --> 00:04:18,003
and end up naming my
kids Drayden and Clayden?
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00:04:18,072 --> 00:04:20,238
Why did I
sign my name like that?
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00:04:20,307 --> 00:04:24,042
"JoanFK de Kennedarc"?
Who am I anymore?
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00:04:24,111 --> 00:04:25,711
I expected
a better response
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00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:27,245
from Joan for the necklace.
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00:04:27,314 --> 00:04:30,118
Is it too small? I
should've got a bigger one.
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00:04:35,522 --> 00:04:37,588
Phase two of "Operation
Spread Eagle"
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00:04:37,657 --> 00:04:39,691
where we manufacture
a mental health crisis
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00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,727
to see who breaks... has begun.
95
00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:45,529
Yes. And can we all acknowledge
that my idea of pre-midterms
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00:04:45,598 --> 00:04:47,332
really got the
stress ball rolling?
97
00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:49,468
It's pathetic when
you beg for credit.
98
00:04:49,537 --> 00:04:50,903
In a good way?
99
00:04:50,972 --> 00:04:52,371
Get cracking on
the end-of-the-week
100
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,504
super stressor.
101
00:04:53,573 --> 00:04:57,308
The mandatory Broad
Daylight Swimsuit Dance.
102
00:04:57,377 --> 00:05:00,012
I want the air-conditioning
turned way up
103
00:05:00,081 --> 00:05:03,215
to make nipples an issue.
104
00:05:03,284 --> 00:05:04,649
Isn't she something?
105
00:05:04,718 --> 00:05:07,018
Her confident,
passionless voice.
106
00:05:07,087 --> 00:05:08,820
The way her jaw
clicks when she talks
107
00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:10,489
because she clearly
grinds her teeth
108
00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:12,318
to the nub every night.
109
00:05:12,387 --> 00:05:15,160
Clearly, you like women
like you like your coffee.
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00:05:15,229 --> 00:05:18,162
Ice cold and bitter.
111
00:05:18,231 --> 00:05:20,832
And in a vacuum sealed thermos.
112
00:05:24,038 --> 00:05:25,215
I want you to know,
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00:05:25,239 --> 00:05:26,549
we're making your
mental well-being
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00:05:26,573 --> 00:05:29,375
a priority during
this stressful week
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00:05:29,444 --> 00:05:31,042
of pre-midterms.
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00:05:31,111 --> 00:05:34,079
So, to help with anxiety,
I'd like to introduce
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00:05:34,148 --> 00:05:36,047
our mental health mascot.
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00:05:36,116 --> 00:05:39,383
A cute little guy to
chomp your anxieties away.
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00:05:39,452 --> 00:05:42,720
Say hello to the Heebie-Jeebie.
120
00:05:42,789 --> 00:05:47,391
I eat your stress!
121
00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:49,528
Gimme your stress!
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00:05:49,597 --> 00:05:51,296
I smell it on you.
123
00:05:51,365 --> 00:05:52,831
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
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00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:56,467
Anxiety!
125
00:06:06,113 --> 00:06:08,546
Oh, self, have I lost you?
126
00:06:08,615 --> 00:06:11,149
I never thought I'd be
with a popular himbo,
127
00:06:11,218 --> 00:06:14,452
but now I don't know where
I end and JFK begins.
128
00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:17,022
What's happening?
129
00:06:17,091 --> 00:06:18,890
I have a splitting headache!
130
00:06:18,959 --> 00:06:21,527
Now, that's better!
131
00:06:23,230 --> 00:06:24,896
Oh, Abe, it's just you.
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00:06:24,965 --> 00:06:26,899
Hey, can I ask you
for some advice?
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00:06:26,968 --> 00:06:28,066
Of course, you can!
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00:06:28,135 --> 00:06:30,201
Supportive friend
at your service.
135
00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:31,535
If I wear this necklace,
136
00:06:31,604 --> 00:06:33,872
I'm worried I might
be losing myself.
137
00:06:33,941 --> 00:06:35,340
What do you think?
138
00:06:35,409 --> 00:06:36,469
What do I think?
139
00:06:36,538 --> 00:06:38,810
I think the necklace is
amazing, are you kidding me?
140
00:06:38,879 --> 00:06:41,346
That's just facts.
But I can't say that.
141
00:06:41,415 --> 00:06:42,746
If I tell her I
like the necklace,
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00:06:42,815 --> 00:06:45,320
I may never have another
shot at being her boyfriend.
143
00:06:47,522 --> 00:06:48,920
I think you've changed.
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00:06:48,989 --> 00:06:51,589
The Joan I used to know would
never wear that necklace,
145
00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:54,358
and would definitely keep
her options open dating wise.
146
00:06:54,427 --> 00:06:56,561
Woah, that feels good just
to let that out there.
147
00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:59,597
Really? I guess I have
compromised myself.
148
00:06:59,666 --> 00:07:01,467
Maybe I should give
the necklace back.
149
00:07:01,536 --> 00:07:03,635
"JFK, we need to talk."
150
00:07:03,704 --> 00:07:05,670
Thanks for
looking out for me.
151
00:07:05,739 --> 00:07:07,839
It's good to have such
a supportive friend
152
00:07:07,908 --> 00:07:09,942
with no ulterior agenda.
153
00:07:10,011 --> 00:07:12,778
Yeah, absolutely
no ulterior agenda.
154
00:07:12,847 --> 00:07:15,480
That... that was, uh,
supportive, right?
155
00:07:15,549 --> 00:07:18,182
Have a stress ball!
156
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,454
Ow!
157
00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:23,487
Oh, hi there, buddy.
158
00:07:23,556 --> 00:07:24,993
Wow, this is so...
159
00:07:32,399 --> 00:07:33,832
Oh, look, Joanie just texted me.
160
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,133
"We need to talk."
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00:07:38,505 --> 00:07:39,972
Sorry about that break up, Jafe.
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00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,673
It was fun while it
lasted though, right?
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00:07:41,742 --> 00:07:43,676
Break up? No, she wants to talk!
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00:07:43,745 --> 00:07:46,644
That's code for
mouth sex, right?
165
00:07:48,749 --> 00:07:50,681
Joan wants to break up with me?
166
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,385
But she's the only
girl I ever loved!
167
00:07:53,853 --> 00:07:55,954
Something's happening
in my body? I'm all wet!
168
00:07:56,023 --> 00:07:57,856
There's like a tiny
drum in my chest.
169
00:07:57,925 --> 00:08:00,625
That's just stress,
bro. Or a heart attack.
170
00:08:00,694 --> 00:08:02,793
- But probably stress.
- But I, uh, uh,
171
00:08:02,862 --> 00:08:06,197
never felt stressed before!
Oh, God, I can't lose Joan!
172
00:08:06,266 --> 00:08:08,995
I can't be the first Kennedy
to have a relationship fail!
173
00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:10,429
I got it. Easy solution.
174
00:08:10,498 --> 00:08:12,574
Avoid Joan, so she
can’t break up with you.
175
00:08:18,245 --> 00:08:19,389
I know where we can hide.
176
00:08:19,413 --> 00:08:21,324
I run away from, like, 99
percent of my problems.
177
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,489
Was JFK here?
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00:08:28,288 --> 00:08:29,949
I thought I heard him.
179
00:08:30,018 --> 00:08:31,022
Am I going crazy?
180
00:08:31,091 --> 00:08:32,701
Where... where is he?
181
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:35,406
-Is it hot
in here? Why am I sweating so much?
182
00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:36,560
Oh, geez.
183
00:08:36,629 --> 00:08:41,199
- Stress!
184
00:08:41,267 --> 00:08:45,203
Have you seen it out there?
The clones are super stressed!
185
00:08:45,271 --> 00:08:47,673
Only the strongest
will be left standing.
186
00:08:47,742 --> 00:08:49,775
Your passion is contagious.
187
00:08:49,844 --> 00:08:51,876
Shall we discuss
our other passions?
188
00:08:51,945 --> 00:08:53,712
Or other contagions?
189
00:08:53,781 --> 00:08:55,780
No time. I have to
release murder hornets
190
00:08:55,849 --> 00:08:56,918
into the Chem lab.
191
00:08:58,485 --> 00:09:01,385
- Oh, Mr. B.
192
00:09:01,454 --> 00:09:04,389
Why does she not see my allure?
193
00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:06,858
Just throwing it out
there, but maybe realize,
194
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:08,593
she has no sexual
interest in you
195
00:09:08,662 --> 00:09:10,227
and move on.
196
00:09:10,297 --> 00:09:11,563
Oh, pish-posh!
197
00:09:11,632 --> 00:09:13,301
I just need to
change my approach.
198
00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:17,269
As we know, no woman can
resist a pitiful man.
199
00:09:17,338 --> 00:09:20,505
At my Papa's funeral, I was
crying like a little baby.
200
00:09:20,574 --> 00:09:23,375
So the beautiful
mortician, Moira,
201
00:09:23,444 --> 00:09:26,381
took me out for ‘tato
skins, and then some.
202
00:09:28,248 --> 00:09:31,082
Oh, how I wish my
father would die again!
203
00:09:31,151 --> 00:09:33,151
Wait, that gives me
a brilliant idea!
204
00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:36,358
Mr. B, get my murse.
We have shopping to do.
205
00:09:52,806 --> 00:09:54,906
Please be empty,
please be empty!
206
00:09:54,975 --> 00:09:56,407
Oh, good thing girls don't poop,
207
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:59,014
so I can take a big old
stress deuce in peace.
208
00:10:00,613 --> 00:10:04,983
Ah, the most relaxing
place in the world.
209
00:10:05,051 --> 00:10:07,251
Wonder if Joan gave
that necklace back.
210
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,921
I hope so. Am I a
terrible friend?
211
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:12,925
But if I'm a good friend,
I lose Joan.
212
00:10:12,994 --> 00:10:14,726
This is stressing me out!
213
00:10:22,369 --> 00:10:23,868
Hello? Who's there?
214
00:10:23,937 --> 00:10:26,938
I... I...
I mean, hello, I'm a girl.
215
00:10:27,007 --> 00:10:31,479
Stress!
216
00:10:39,854 --> 00:10:42,248
It tried to eat me in
the girls' bathroom!
217
00:10:42,317 --> 00:10:43,856
Uh. Don't ask me how I know.
218
00:10:43,925 --> 00:10:45,523
But if you did ask
me, I'd tell you
219
00:10:45,592 --> 00:10:47,158
it's because I was
pooping in there.
220
00:10:47,227 --> 00:10:49,160
Abe, come on, just
use your common sense,
221
00:10:49,229 --> 00:10:51,029
which was also the
name of a pamphlet
222
00:10:51,097 --> 00:10:53,966
written by Thomas Paine
in 1775... No, no,
223
00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:57,970
1776. Oh. I'm
gonna fail pre-midterms,
224
00:10:58,039 --> 00:10:59,971
and manage a carpet store!
225
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,175
Shh! He feeds off stress!
226
00:11:03,244 --> 00:11:05,343
My eye! Without my
liner, it's like,
227
00:11:05,412 --> 00:11:08,346
I only have one,
albeit gorgeous, eye.
228
00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:10,649
- I'm a Cleoclops!
229
00:11:10,717 --> 00:11:12,951
Shh!
230
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,285
Topher, bud.
231
00:11:14,354 --> 00:11:17,355
Oh, there's a monster
terrorizing the school!
232
00:11:17,423 --> 00:11:19,690
Please, keep your voice down.
233
00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:22,261
This is my emotional
support possum, Lucifer.
234
00:11:23,364 --> 00:11:24,429
It gives you little bites
235
00:11:24,498 --> 00:11:25,536
when it feels you
getting anxious
236
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,399
which actually makes
you more anxious.
237
00:11:27,468 --> 00:11:30,072
Oh, no, no...
238
00:11:30,371 --> 00:11:32,370
No, no!
239
00:11:32,439 --> 00:11:35,073
No fib, that simp just got took.
240
00:11:35,141 --> 00:11:38,913
Oh, no, no, no!
241
00:11:44,017 --> 00:11:46,154
Oh, God, I have to warn Joan.
242
00:11:51,358 --> 00:11:55,227
We are hiding here, but,
uh, there's so much wood.
243
00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:57,028
Wood.
244
00:11:57,097 --> 00:11:58,296
Let's get to hammering.
245
00:11:58,365 --> 00:12:02,734
Hammer, tool, screw.
Oh, my gosh. I love this place.
246
00:12:02,803 --> 00:12:05,804
Drill, nail! I'm gonna nail ya
247
00:12:05,873 --> 00:12:08,707
with my nail gun
that's in my pants.
248
00:12:08,776 --> 00:12:10,078
No, don't put it in your pants.
249
00:12:19,052 --> 00:12:21,252
Candide, have you met my
adorable bunny, Biscuit,
250
00:12:21,321 --> 00:12:23,481
that I have had since I was
a strapping, young toddler?
251
00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:27,726
Here are photos of us
together to prove this.
252
00:12:29,329 --> 00:12:31,530
I hate warm-blooded animals.
253
00:12:31,599 --> 00:12:32,763
Have you made the flyers
254
00:12:32,832 --> 00:12:34,733
for the Broad Daylight
Swimsuit Dance yet?
255
00:12:34,802 --> 00:12:36,234
No, I have not.
256
00:12:36,303 --> 00:12:38,036
Perhaps we could
hire a body-shamer
257
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,272
to pick apart the
clones' bodies.
258
00:12:40,341 --> 00:12:42,307
Hmm. Maybe my
mother is available.
259
00:12:42,376 --> 00:12:45,377
Speaking of shame, I would
be absolutely crushed
260
00:12:45,446 --> 00:12:47,112
if anything happened
to this rabbit
261
00:12:47,181 --> 00:12:50,152
that I have loved for so long,
as you can tell in the photos.
262
00:12:52,319 --> 00:12:53,321
Get on the flyers.
263
00:12:54,554 --> 00:12:56,988
This is rich. While she's out,
264
00:12:57,057 --> 00:12:59,391
I'll sneak Biscuit
into her office,
265
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:02,393
and let the reptiles
tear her apart.
266
00:13:02,462 --> 00:13:05,297
Tear you apart? Yes, they will.
267
00:13:05,365 --> 00:13:07,831
Candide will see how
sad and pathetic I am,
268
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,836
and she will take me out
for a night of romance,
269
00:13:10,905 --> 00:13:13,038
and light necking.
270
00:13:13,107 --> 00:13:16,144
Sometimes it's hard
to root for you.
271
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:18,676
Joan, hey, um,
272
00:13:18,745 --> 00:13:20,745
- you don't look so good.
- I know, I'm a mess.
273
00:13:20,814 --> 00:13:22,424
I was trying to give the
necklace back to JFK,
274
00:13:22,448 --> 00:13:23,821
but I can't find him
and now I'm worried
275
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,161
about hurting his feelings,
and it's really...
276
00:13:25,185 --> 00:13:26,329
- - JOAN OF
ARC: stressing me out.
277
00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:27,931
No, don't stress.
278
00:13:27,955 --> 00:13:29,821
Remember, giving back
that hideous necklace
279
00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:32,123
is going to make you
feel more like yourself.
280
00:13:32,192 --> 00:13:34,026
We're just gonna take
the stress away, right?
281
00:13:34,095 --> 00:13:36,561
You got it. Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
282
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:39,364
Why
don't you relax,
283
00:13:39,432 --> 00:13:42,300
- go get something to eat?
- I already ate!
284
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:48,310
Go find JFK!
285
00:13:49,377 --> 00:13:50,874
Good, he's gone.
286
00:13:50,944 --> 00:13:53,911
I hope sending
Joan to JFK was a good move.
287
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:04,655
Stress!
288
00:14:04,724 --> 00:14:07,460
- I'm not stressed.
289
00:14:07,529 --> 00:14:10,097
Oh, uh, oh, really?
290
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:14,700
Teach me.
291
00:14:17,070 --> 00:14:19,504
Oh, the three parts of the atom.
292
00:14:19,573 --> 00:14:21,640
Uh, the Driver, the
Levine and the Sandler.
293
00:14:21,709 --> 00:14:22,841
What? Oh, my God, Harriet...
294
00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:23,987
get your head
295
00:14:24,011 --> 00:14:25,176
out of the trades.
296
00:14:25,245 --> 00:14:29,147
Wait, why am I wearing yoga
pants out of the house?
297
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,486
♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Family......of six?
298
00:14:32,319 --> 00:14:33,989
Dear God, in this economy?
299
00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:40,552
I should just swing by Target
300
00:14:40,594 --> 00:14:42,105
and pick up some of
those Edison bulbs.
301
00:14:42,129 --> 00:14:45,097
Oh, wow! Why would I say
that? It's gonna be okay.
302
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:47,765
But first, coffee.
No, it's rosé all day.
303
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:51,503
Oh, my God! Go... No!
Wow! What am I saying?
304
00:14:51,572 --> 00:14:54,205
These are
actually pretty cozy.
305
00:15:02,382 --> 00:15:04,481
Thank God,
that was just a dream.
306
00:15:04,551 --> 00:15:07,285
Oh, it's late. I should
probably go home.
307
00:15:12,825 --> 00:15:15,093
Great, the battery's dead.
308
00:15:15,162 --> 00:15:17,095
- Is anyone there?
309
00:15:17,164 --> 00:15:19,531
Harriet, calm down, you're
just imagining things.
310
00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:22,794
Oh, please, please, please.
311
00:15:22,835 --> 00:15:25,907
This was a
terrible place to study!
312
00:15:30,077 --> 00:15:33,744
You're right. A good
soak is truly relaxing.
313
00:15:33,813 --> 00:15:36,880
I can let my troubles go,
and a little bit of pee.
314
00:15:36,949 --> 00:15:40,785
- It's all love in the tub, man.
- How do you stay so chill?
315
00:15:40,854 --> 00:15:43,054
I mean, you got pre-midterms
like the rest of us,
316
00:15:43,123 --> 00:15:45,956
and you gotta live up to one
of the coolest artists ever.
317
00:15:46,025 --> 00:15:48,660
I just channel my anxiety into
something more productive.
318
00:15:48,729 --> 00:15:51,128
You know, like, murals
for sick children.
319
00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:55,712
- That sounds easy for you,
320
00:15:55,736 --> 00:15:57,302
but what about me?
321
00:15:57,371 --> 00:15:59,905
Excuse me,
I had a weird lunch.
322
00:15:59,974 --> 00:16:02,941
Oh...
it's just a bath toy.
323
00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:04,943
Wait, that's not my bath toy.
324
00:16:21,095 --> 00:16:23,862
- This is not whizz.
- I think we lost him.
325
00:16:23,931 --> 00:16:25,664
Now, all we have to
do is stay calm...
326
00:16:30,671 --> 00:16:32,340
Where do you think
you're going, unibrow?
327
00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,474
Shred, Frida, shred!
328
00:16:36,543 --> 00:16:39,277
Look, it's the totally
dark and abandoned school.
329
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,012
Oh, thank God.
330
00:16:41,081 --> 00:16:42,417
We'll be safe in there.
331
00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:49,187
Oh, someone's getting eaten!
332
00:16:52,192 --> 00:16:53,557
I can't hear you.
333
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:55,466
La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la.
334
00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:57,963
We are still dating!
La, la, la, la, la.
335
00:16:58,032 --> 00:16:59,943
If she breaks up with you,
but you can't hear her,
336
00:16:59,967 --> 00:17:01,332
it does not count.
337
00:17:01,401 --> 00:17:02,512
Just let me talk to you.
338
00:17:02,536 --> 00:17:03,712
Just please let me
talk to you. I just...
339
00:17:04,805 --> 00:17:06,445
Just... just... just,
please, let me talk.
340
00:17:08,876 --> 00:17:10,274
Wait, it's just you guys.
341
00:17:10,343 --> 00:17:12,744
Oh, we thought the
Heebie-Jeebie was attacking.
342
00:17:12,813 --> 00:17:14,946
The Heebie-Jeebie
is just a mascot.
343
00:17:15,015 --> 00:17:16,214
It's not like it's evil.
344
00:17:16,283 --> 00:17:19,051
The Heebie-Jeebie is
not just a mascot.
345
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,857
- It's like it's evil.
346
00:17:25,426 --> 00:17:27,826
Cleo's a zombie!
347
00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:30,261
You're a zombie,
you balding loser.
348
00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:32,664
I found this cool charcoal
in the supply closet.
349
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,036
Do you guys like my smoky eye?
350
00:17:36,303 --> 00:17:37,940
Shh! You hear that?
351
00:17:44,611 --> 00:17:46,912
Any minute now, we'll
hear the sweet screams
352
00:17:46,981 --> 00:17:48,450
of Biscuit's demise.
353
00:17:50,317 --> 00:17:52,520
Ah, the taste of bunny blood.
354
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,821
Wait, that's not bunny.
This blood is cold!
355
00:17:59,326 --> 00:18:00,762
Biscuit!
356
00:18:01,695 --> 00:18:04,758
No! My babies!
357
00:18:04,827 --> 00:18:07,299
I'll get a trash bag.
358
00:18:07,368 --> 00:18:11,403
I'm guessing these
won't flush well.
359
00:18:13,107 --> 00:18:15,106
The Heebie-Jeebie is
attracted to anxiety.
360
00:18:15,175 --> 00:18:17,275
It can't find us
if we're relaxed.
361
00:18:17,344 --> 00:18:19,578
We have to chill.
362
00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:21,779
My unibrow's twitching.
363
00:18:21,848 --> 00:18:24,283
Frida's brow is the canary in
the coal mine. We're doomed!
364
00:18:26,687 --> 00:18:28,287
Oh, here, let's use
my weighted blanket,
365
00:18:28,356 --> 00:18:29,356
it'll calm us.
366
00:18:35,395 --> 00:18:36,739
Oh, my gosh.
367
00:18:36,763 --> 00:18:39,359
All the nervous BO is,
like, suffocating me.
368
00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:44,903
- He's gonna find us.
- I said quiet down. Shh!
369
00:18:44,972 --> 00:18:50,075
Take me,
Heebie-Jeebie, I'm done!
370
00:18:50,144 --> 00:18:52,143
Since Joan's
breaking up with me,
371
00:18:52,212 --> 00:18:55,280
I don't wanna live.
372
00:18:55,349 --> 00:18:57,816
- No! Don't take JFK!
373
00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,151
Take me!
374
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,715
- No.
375
00:19:01,784 --> 00:19:03,654
Don't take Joan, take me.
376
00:19:03,723 --> 00:19:06,861
- Okay.
377
00:19:07,828 --> 00:19:09,361
Does someone wanna step forward
378
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:11,029
and sacrifice
themselves for me now?
379
00:19:12,399 --> 00:19:14,232
Joan, I'm sorry,
380
00:19:14,301 --> 00:19:15,800
I've been a terrible friend!
381
00:19:19,272 --> 00:19:21,406
Stop it, you dumb Heebie-Jeebie!
382
00:19:21,475 --> 00:19:23,974
You shouldn't kill people
just 'cause they're anxious.
383
00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:27,678
Abe, you're a great friend,
and JFK's a great boyfriend.
384
00:19:27,747 --> 00:19:30,082
And yeah, I lied to him
about liking the necklace.
385
00:19:30,151 --> 00:19:31,182
But who cares?
386
00:19:31,251 --> 00:19:33,217
It was only to
protect his feelings.
387
00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:34,986
That doesn't mean I should die.
388
00:19:36,757 --> 00:19:39,590
Joan weakened the Heebie-Jeebie
by talking about her stress.
389
00:19:39,659 --> 00:19:42,694
And then punching it in
the face. Let's all try!
390
00:19:42,763 --> 00:19:45,075
- I'm afraid of having a perfectly happy,
391
00:19:45,099 --> 00:19:49,033
idyllic, suburban, but
ultimately ordinary life!
392
00:19:49,102 --> 00:19:53,037
I'm afraid if my eyes don't pop,
I'll never be a trophy wife!
393
00:19:53,106 --> 00:19:55,607
I try so hard to go
viral, but the only thing
394
00:19:55,676 --> 00:19:57,876
I really want to infect people with...
395
00:19:57,945 --> 00:19:59,044
is friendship.
396
00:19:59,113 --> 00:20:00,233
I'm afraid
397
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,625
people don't think I care...
398
00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:02,914
because I'm so chill, but...
399
00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:04,728
...I'm so chill,
I kind of don't care!
400
00:20:06,253 --> 00:20:08,753
I don't care for mustard!
401
00:20:08,822 --> 00:20:09,921
Stress!
402
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:12,290
Also, I'm worried Joan
is the love of my life,
403
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:13,958
and I'm not good enough for her.
404
00:20:17,292 --> 00:20:20,165
I have already revealed
a lot, but just in case,
405
00:20:20,234 --> 00:20:22,167
I'm afraid no one
will ever love me.
406
00:20:22,236 --> 00:20:24,469
Especially, not the person
I'm secretly in love with,
407
00:20:24,538 --> 00:20:28,974
- and her name is...
- Stop!
408
00:20:29,043 --> 00:20:31,042
9021-OMG!
409
00:20:31,111 --> 00:20:33,644
It's iconic actor and
mental health advocate
410
00:20:33,713 --> 00:20:36,114
Ian Ziering, of
all six Sharknados.
411
00:20:36,183 --> 00:20:37,849
What are you doing here?
412
00:20:37,918 --> 00:20:39,217
Oh, when my agent called
413
00:20:39,286 --> 00:20:41,464
and said, "Do you wanna scare
the crap out of some kids?"
414
00:20:41,488 --> 00:20:43,489
I was like, "Maybe
this is my chance
415
00:20:43,558 --> 00:20:44,857
to make a real difference
416
00:20:44,926 --> 00:20:47,759
in the mental health
of America's teens."
417
00:20:47,828 --> 00:20:50,128
But I realized I was
doing more harm than good,
418
00:20:50,197 --> 00:20:52,091
and I was about
to stop doing it.
419
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,765
But then, you guys
started yelling out
420
00:20:53,834 --> 00:20:56,134
all your greatest
fears, and I realized,
421
00:20:56,203 --> 00:20:58,471
I was doing the right
thing all along.
422
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,266
So, thank you.
423
00:21:00,335 --> 00:21:03,909
No, thank you, Ian Ziering.
It felt really good
424
00:21:03,978 --> 00:21:06,139
to get all that
anxiety off my chest,
425
00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:08,980
and to kick you in the wiener.
426
00:21:09,049 --> 00:21:10,560
Also, can I get a pic
of you for the Gram?
427
00:21:10,584 --> 00:21:11,962
That's what I call my grandma.
428
00:21:11,986 --> 00:21:13,451
But wait, what
happened to the clones
429
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,787
that I saw you take
away, like Topher?
430
00:21:15,856 --> 00:21:17,188
I just took him
to a reputable spa
431
00:21:17,257 --> 00:21:19,457
for some rest and
relaxation, chill.
432
00:21:19,526 --> 00:21:22,961
You've taught us all another
amazing lesson, Mr. Ziering.
433
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:25,764
Let's go celebrate
defeating anxiety
434
00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:28,967
at the Broad Daylight
Swimsuit Dance.
435
00:21:31,038 --> 00:21:33,939
God, it feels good to be
back in fake high school.
436
00:21:40,347 --> 00:21:42,680
Pre-midterms are over.
437
00:21:42,749 --> 00:21:45,211
No more stress till post
midterm, pre-finals.
438
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,085
I'm not gonna stress
over midterms anymore.
439
00:21:47,154 --> 00:21:48,753
I know I'm not going
to be a wine mom
440
00:21:48,822 --> 00:21:50,521
because I'm gonna
make it in Hollywood.
441
00:21:50,590 --> 00:21:51,935
Hollywood is all
about who you know.
442
00:21:51,959 --> 00:21:53,526
And I know Ian Ziering.
443
00:21:53,595 --> 00:21:56,795
And his phone number is...
444
00:21:56,864 --> 00:21:58,764
And I found a bunch
of expired packages
445
00:21:58,833 --> 00:22:01,199
of my fave eyeliner
on Russian eBay.
446
00:22:01,268 --> 00:22:03,869
Again, I am so sorry
447
00:22:03,938 --> 00:22:05,537
about what happened
with Biscuit.
448
00:22:05,606 --> 00:22:08,473
No time for mourning. It's
a bunny-eat-lizard world.
449
00:22:08,542 --> 00:22:11,276
Besides, we have to focus
on "Operation Spread Eagle,"
450
00:22:11,345 --> 00:22:13,979
and the clones we
sent to the "spa."
451
00:22:14,048 --> 00:22:16,414
Shall we see if they
are performing properly?
452
00:22:21,322 --> 00:22:24,956
- That was so cool! Wow!
453
00:22:25,025 --> 00:22:27,325
Would you like to celebrate
your excellent work
454
00:22:27,394 --> 00:22:29,661
with some patatas
bravas by candlelight?
455
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,565
Ugh! I find you pitiful.
456
00:22:32,634 --> 00:22:35,203
Yes! Mission accomplished!
457
00:22:37,837 --> 00:22:40,305
I may have lost my only
chance of breaking them up,
458
00:22:40,374 --> 00:22:41,840
but I know I did
the right thing,
459
00:22:41,909 --> 00:22:44,075
- because she looks really happy.
- Damn.
460
00:22:44,144 --> 00:22:45,744
It's like she took a relaxative.
461
00:22:45,813 --> 00:22:47,512
I'm glad we got
our anxieties out.
462
00:22:47,581 --> 00:22:49,881
So my art can be
back to normal again.
463
00:22:49,950 --> 00:22:53,384
Uh, love it!34222
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