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1
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:08,576
(Victoria)
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
2
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,478
in front
of a live studio audience.
3
00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,613
Why am I getting
my picture taken?
4
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:16,317
Well, it seems I've become
a bit of a local celebrity.
5
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,919
We're getting
an engagement portrait.
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:23,091
My driver's license expired.
7
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:27,395
I'm doing a nude calendar
for charity.
8
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,567
What do you mean,
you're doing a nude calendar
9
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,636
for charity?
10
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,405
First, we thought
of a bake sale.
11
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:40,408
Good idea.
Do that.
12
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:45,079
And then, we started
doing Jell-O shots.
13
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,315
When I saw the jiggle
in my glass,
14
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:50,618
I came up with the idea.
15
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,886
But can't you just cancel?
16
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,488
You're the only ones
who know about it.
17
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:58,092
Turn to page three.
18
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,861
The mayor has agreed
to do a nude calendar
19
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,397
to raise money for
the Cleveland animal shelter.
20
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,665
It's in the papers?
21
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:08,302
I drunk-dialed that in.
22
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,240
Guess who just got
asked for their celebrity photo,
23
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:13,241
and it's not Victoria.
24
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:14,908
Is it you, Melanie?
25
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,710
Yes!
26
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,246
Because of my radio show,
27
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,680
the dry cleaners
asked for my photo.
28
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,150
Ah, the first time
the dry cleaner
29
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,419
asks for your head shot--
I remember it well.
30
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,756
I was between David Hasselhoff
and Henry Winkler,
31
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:33,227
and ironically, a year later,
I was between them again.
32
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,295
Oh, my God.
33
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:35,329
What's wrong?
34
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,231
Oh, that stupid Ohio DMV!
35
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,766
I went in
to renew my license,
36
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:41,001
and they sent it back to me
with someone else's picture.
37
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:44,472
Look at that ugly,
old woman.
38
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,274
Victoria, honey,
that's you.
39
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,575
What?
40
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:54,482
I told them I required
the celebrity Photoshop package,
41
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:58,018
you know, like they have
at the Beverly Hills DMV.
42
00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,454
When I gave that greeter
outside $100,
43
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:01,689
he said
he'd take care of it.
44
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:05,326
They don't have
a greeter at the DMV.
45
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:09,930
That's what the sign said
on his shopping cart.
46
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,899
Bob and I found
a fantastic photographer
47
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,201
for our engagement photo.
48
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,202
He could take your picture.
49
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,469
Oh, that'd be great.
50
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:16,737
Now, and then I could take
51
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,540
my own professionally done
head shot to the DMV.
52
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,875
And he could take shots
for our thing.
53
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,110
What thing?
54
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:26,547
We're posing nude
for the animals.
55
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,221
Well, as long
as people don't have to see it.
56
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,060
* Ba-ba, ba-ba
57
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:43,231
* Ba-ba, ba-ba
58
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,466
* Hey!
59
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:53,341
Stop making
comedy faces.
60
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:54,808
This is
our engagement photo.
61
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,245
Can't you just smile and think
about how happy you are?
62
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,712
I'm sorry, Joy.
63
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,715
It's just, when I think about
how I really feel, you know--
64
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,151
about a guy like me getting
to marry a girl like you,
65
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,486
well, I just--
66
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:09,156
I can't believe how--
how lucky I am.
67
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:11,492
I need a minute.
68
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,894
Aw, that's so sweet.
69
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,162
It is.
70
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:17,698
I know it's surprising--
his sensitive side,
71
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:21,502
seeing how tough and macho
he is on the outside.
72
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,005
We're talking about Bob,
right?
73
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:28,642
Of course.
I'll go check on him.
74
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,344
While we're waiting, do you want
to start on yours, Melanie?
75
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,346
Oh, yeah, sure.
It's a little chilly in here.
76
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,415
I'm just gonna put this shawl
around me while you set up.
77
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,317
- Okay.
- You know, it's weird.
78
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,486
I haven't had
a studio portrait taken
79
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,921
without my husband or my kids.
80
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,823
But I'm single now,
and that's okay.
81
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,058
It just feels like
there should be something
82
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,093
here next to me.
83
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,996
Well, hi, you.
84
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,631
What a sweet little kitty
you are.
85
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:53,166
What is your name?
86
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:58,539
Barney, well, that's a handsome
name for such a handsome fellow.
87
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:03,043
Oh, God, Joy, without you,
88
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,413
that could be me--
89
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:08,882
sad, alone,
talking to cats.
90
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,051
I am not sad and alone.
91
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,219
(Ian)
Can we get a smile, Melanie?
92
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,355
No, I don't think we can.
93
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,729
To Cleveland's
calendar girls.
94
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:27,167
You know, I'm gonna pose
with nothing but a python
95
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,537
like Britney Spears.
96
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:34,241
All I need
are a couple puppies
97
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,777
to cover my puppies.
98
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,349
I'm gonna balance
a champagne glass on my butt
99
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,016
like Kim Kardashian.
100
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,018
I tried it at home.
101
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,422
There's even room
for the ice bucket.
102
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:54,194
I'm thinking
of posing behind clothes.
103
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,564
But then
you won't be naked.
104
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:59,767
I guess I'm a little nervous
about being in the buff.
105
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,436
Pardon my language.
106
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,705
But you have
a gorgeous body.
107
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:05,739
How do you know?
108
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,443
I've never even
seen myself naked.
109
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:13,581
I take out my contacts
before I undress.
110
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:17,050
I saw you when you went
through airport security.
111
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,554
It was a nice outline.
112
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,792
What if Reverend Bower
sees it?
113
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,960
Ooh, Reverend Bower?
114
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,796
Somebody's hot
for preacher.
115
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,232
We're just friends.
116
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,935
I wouldn't want him
to think less of me
117
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,638
by seeing more of me.
118
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,407
It's gonna be fine.
119
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,008
Have another beer.
120
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,944
What we need
is to order some pizzas.
121
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,814
Elka, we've got
to watch our figures, honey.
122
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,449
We've got
a photo shoot coming.
123
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:49,950
Relax.
124
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,586
I'll just wear bigger puppies.
125
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,426
You're a good friend,
126
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,127
volunteering to keep me company
at the DMV.
127
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,895
I didn't volunteer.
128
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,832
You said we were going
for frozen yogurt.
129
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,200
Next.
130
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,302
Oh, my goodness,
Victoria Chase!
131
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,871
- I'm such a fan!
- Oh, thank you.
132
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,906
You are not
gonna believe this,
133
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,309
but my nitwit assistant here
lost my driver's license.
134
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,545
What?
135
00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:18,546
Oh, no problem.
136
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,013
We have your photo on file.
137
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,982
It would be my honor
to reissue one immediately.
138
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,217
Yeah,
I need to replace that photo
139
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,653
with this one.
140
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,355
Oh, that's
a beautiful photo.
141
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,457
So pretty.
142
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:32,125
I know.
So can you use it?
143
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,894
Sorry, no can do.
144
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:34,995
Why not?
145
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,664
The best we can do
is take your photo again,
146
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,131
but we have
to use our camera.
147
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,767
- It's the law.
- Seriously?
148
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,335
I have to have my photo
taken with that piece of--
149
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:45,906
Okay, I-I think what my boss
is trying to say is that
150
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,374
it would be difficult
151
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,477
to take a nice photo of her
with your equipment.
152
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,679
Mm-hmm, perhaps
if you hadn't lost her license,
153
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,981
she wouldn't be
in this predicament.
154
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,486
Okay.
155
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:01,722
She's my mother's friend.
I had to hire her.
156
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,359
I'm sorry, Miss Chase.
157
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,661
I want to help you out,
158
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,397
but it's important that
everyone look like themselves.
159
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:12,332
This isn't
what I look like.
160
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,302
This is what I look like.
161
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,905
I'm sorry, no can do.
162
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,874
All right,
I will be back.
163
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:21,975
Hey, do you think
you could get Miss Chase
164
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,310
to autograph this for me?
165
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,413
I'm sorry, no can do.
166
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,549
It's assistants like you
that give stars
167
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,418
like Victoria Chase
a bad name.
168
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,523
Okay, no more crying.
169
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,257
Don't worry.
I've got this.
170
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,430
Ah, my grandmother's ring
171
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:46,534
on my beautiful
fiancée's hand.
172
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,268
Here I go again.
173
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:52,806
Sorry.
174
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,542
Oh, what's this
on my dress?
175
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,177
Oh.
176
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,580
Nose tears?
177
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,214
I've got to go
clean this off.
178
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,816
Pull yourself together.
179
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,185
Okay. Ahh.
180
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,122
I cannot wait
to marry that woman.
181
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,157
Yeah, I can see that.
182
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:11,925
You two planning
on having kids?
183
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,594
No, no.
184
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,596
I mean, I've always dreamed
of having kids of my own,
185
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,131
but when you get married
this late in life,
186
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,768
it's not really in the cards,
187
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,269
though I'd never say anything
to Joy about it.
188
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:25,438
I wouldn't want her to think she
was disappointing me in any way.
189
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,043
So Bob wants kids?
190
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,112
He says
he wants his own kids.
191
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,280
Have you discussed
having children?
192
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,215
I didn't think
we had to discuss it.
193
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,284
Now I'm worried
I'm being unfair.
194
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,451
Bob's a man.
195
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:41,221
He could still have kids
with someone younger.
196
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,256
And less dried out.
197
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,399
Is this
absolutely necessary?
198
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,135
My photo shoot's tomorrow,
199
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:58,271
and I need to practice
being comfortable.
200
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,709
It's disturbing.
201
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,276
It is a little awkward.
202
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,913
Not for me.
Now, I'm an actress.
203
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,749
I've been trained to convey
that the human body is beautiful
204
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,784
no matter
what I'm actually feeling.
205
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,655
So what are you
gonna do?
206
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,423
The mature,
responsible thing--
207
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,325
pretend I never heard him.
208
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,460
Having kids
is a big issue.
209
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,162
Ultimately, it's what broke up
me and Alec.
210
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,665
I know, and I don't want
to go back to being
211
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,500
sad, single, and alone.
212
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,738
No offense, Melanie.
213
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:33,941
I may be single,
but I'm not sad.
214
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,909
It's so easy
for us to get dates,
215
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,912
we've become reliant on guys
for our happiness,
216
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,381
which is why I am having a date
with myself tomorrow night
217
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,316
at that new restaurant
I've been dying to try.
218
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,385
And now
I'm using my acting training
219
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:48,088
to pretend
that Melanie's plan isn't sad.
220
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,560
You know what is sad
besides Melanie?
221
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,395
I am not sad.
222
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,065
Mamie Sue thinks
her body isn't good enough
223
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,199
to be in the calendar.
224
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,234
Well,
maybe she's just shy,
225
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:05,939
and maybe
you should be shy too.
226
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:09,476
Hey, we're not gonna
look this hot forever.
227
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:14,982
Mm-hmm. Next.
228
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:18,518
Oh, Victoria Chase, are you back
to take your picture?
229
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,921
Yes, I am, and I'm
going to use your equipment
230
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,023
as required by law.
231
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,058
Wonderful,
just step over there.
232
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,061
Okay, are you ready?
233
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,464
Ready.
234
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:38,271
Oh, wow,
that was amazing.
235
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,109
So did you
get the shot?
236
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,777
Oh, whoopsie.
237
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,812
Whoopsie?
238
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,148
I got it.
Next.
239
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:53,754
What kind of music
should we listen to
240
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:54,888
for the photo session?
241
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:58,391
Well, it's hard
to keep your clothes on
242
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,028
when you're listening
to Sinatra.
243
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,296
True story.
244
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:07,034
I'm still feeling nervous
about this.
245
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,436
Why? What's the worst
that can happen?
246
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:13,273
Well, hello,
Mamie Sue, ladies.
247
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,607
Hello, Reverend Bower.
248
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:17,610
It might look like
we were talking about something,
249
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,279
but we weren't.
250
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,382
Okay, I hope to see you
in the front pew
251
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:23,583
in church again this Sunday.
252
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,118
Oh, you will.
253
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,820
What's your sermon
going to be about?
254
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,156
Society's declining values.
255
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,227
Ladies, Mamie Sue.
256
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,395
Good-bye.
257
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,766
I hardly know these women.
258
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,869
She's hot for preacher.
259
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:42,970
You said that already.
260
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,772
I'm a nude model.
261
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,775
I don't have to be smart.
262
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,077
Well, I'm not going
to be a nude model.
263
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,312
Because of Reverend Bower?
264
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,313
It's not just him.
265
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:56,249
Who wants to see me
like that anyway?
266
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,851
Maybe 40 years ago.
267
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,053
But why should we think
we're only beautiful
268
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,789
up to a certain age?
269
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:06,126
Girl, my varicose veins
look like a fault map.
270
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,262
And my muffin tops
have muffin tops.
271
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:13,500
And my ass
looks like a bag of socks.
272
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:17,404
But are we gonna let
all that get in the way
273
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,406
of our getting naked
in front of the world?
274
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,508
Oh, hell, yeah.
275
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:24,111
I'm with them.
I'm out too.
276
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,914
Oh, come on, girls, what can
I do to change your mind?
277
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:31,484
Turn the calendar back
to 1965.
278
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,327
Wow, these tables
are so close.
279
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,463
But don't worry.
I won't be eavesdropping.
280
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,932
Why would I?
I have a book.
281
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,839
Can I get you a drink,
or should we wait for your date?
282
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:55,375
Uh, yes, you can get me
a glass of Merlot,
283
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,244
and my date is already here.
284
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:03,450
And what can I get for you?
285
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,652
I know that
there's nobody sitting there.
286
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:06,719
I'm not crazy.
287
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:09,489
I am just a lady
on a date with herself,
288
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:12,559
celebrating being alone.
289
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,594
Oh, God, is that cat hair?
290
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,364
Okay, don't look at me
like that.
291
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,366
I'm sure there are plenty
of people that come here
292
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,500
and dine by themselves.
293
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,135
Not really.
294
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,972
Uh, we were voted Cleveland's
most romantic restaurant.
295
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,174
Oh, well,
then it's the perfect atmosphere
296
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:30,377
for me to read
my World War II love story.
297
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,778
Just bring me the chateaubriand.
298
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,380
It's for two.
299
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,782
We'll see about that.
300
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,225
Oh, my God, Melanie Moretti
from the radio show.
301
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,759
Yes, yes, that's me.
302
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,095
I saw your picture
at the dry cleaner.
303
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,629
Oh.
304
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:50,964
I'm so sorry
to bother you.
305
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,765
No, no, no,
it's no bother at all.
306
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,034
What would you like
to talk about?
307
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,068
Is there anything
you'd like to talk about?
308
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,437
Please sit down.
309
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,172
I just wanted to say
thank you,
310
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,008
because you said
on your radio show,
311
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,475
"Fear of being alone
312
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,811
is no reason to stay
in a bad relationship,"
313
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,446
so I dumped
my terrible boyfriend,
314
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,781
and now I just go out by myself
if I want to.
315
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,317
And it's fun, right?
316
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,185
So fun.
317
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:14,721
I mean,
the first time I did it,
318
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,523
I was so self-conscious,
I ate a whole bread basket.
319
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,558
Oh, I just ordered
3 pounds of meat.
320
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:21,828
Oh.
Okay.
321
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,563
But this is nice too.
322
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,165
Ah, so nice.
323
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,466
Yeah.
324
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,539
Want to go someplace
and pick up guys?
325
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,574
- Oh, God, yes.
- Okay.
326
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,446
Joy, I was up all night
practicing.
327
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,281
How's this?
328
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,284
Oh, Bob,
that's a beautiful smile.
329
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,253
- You look so handsome.
- Thanks.
330
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,854
I was looking in the mirror,
331
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,557
thinking about what I love most
about you, and I saw this smile,
332
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,359
and I thought,
"That looks good.
333
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:55,195
That looks damn good."
334
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,030
You know,
you're a lucky woman, Joy.
335
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,398
- I am.
- Mmm.
336
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,233
Mmm.
337
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,735
So what do you love most
about me?
338
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:05,738
I love that we're a team.
339
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,507
We may disagree
about the little things,
340
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,209
but we agree
on the big things,
341
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,677
and that's what matters most.
342
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:15,615
Yes, it's important
to agree on the big things
343
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,051
and be open and honest
with each other
344
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,552
about the big things.
345
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:23,056
All right,
you two lovebirds, smile.
346
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:29,796
Bob, what if
there were one big thing that,
347
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:33,266
if revealed,
could potentially destroy us?
348
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,668
Would you still love me?
349
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,770
I guess,
350
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:41,874
although I feel my smile
starting to fade a little.
351
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,843
Oh, it's nothing
we should talk about now
352
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,312
or ever, really.
353
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,780
Ah.
354
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,716
How big, Joy?
355
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:52,019
How big is the big thing?
356
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:54,021
It's big.
357
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,889
Joy, I think I need to know
what the big thing is.
358
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,025
All right.
359
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,459
Wait.
360
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,627
I heard you talking
361
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,829
about how you'd always dreamed
of having kids,
362
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,432
and I felt terrible.
363
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,401
You should be marrying someone
you can have children with.
364
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:12,105
Joy, you're the woman
I want to marry.
365
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,840
If you don't want to have kids,
that's fine.
366
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,375
But I do.
I would love to.
367
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:19,112
I'm just too...
not young enough.
368
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,780
But what difference
does age make?
369
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,115
We can adopt.
370
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,184
But I thought
you wanted your own child.
371
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:28,555
If we adopt a child,
it will be my own--our own.
372
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,058
Oh, Bob.
373
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,293
I would love
to adopt a child with you.
374
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,762
And I with you.
375
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,103
Do you guys want to,
like, reschedule or--
376
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:46,373
No, no, no, no, no,
take the photo.
377
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,076
I want to capture exactly
how we're feeling right now,
378
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,943
in this moment.
379
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,686
How's this?
380
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,354
Same time tomorrow?
381
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,127
Do you want me
to turn up the heat?
382
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:11,798
No, keep it down
for perkiness.
383
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,634
So, uh, you're the only model
for this calendar?
384
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:18,971
Nope, Miss December
is in the house, child.
385
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,608
Marcia.
386
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,943
I thought
about what you said
387
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,379
about women our age
being invisible,
388
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,416
and I don't want
to be invisible.
389
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,251
Neither do I.
390
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,453
I got a full-body wax.
391
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,823
I'm hairless from my eyebrows
to my ankles.
392
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:40,427
Helen,
what changed your mind?
393
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,263
Your inspiring words
and two vodkas.
394
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,300
Poor Mamie Sue.
395
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,636
She'll never know
how freeing this is.
396
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,938
Yes, she will.
397
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,340
Mamie Sue!
398
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,142
You were right, Elka.
399
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,144
We ought to be doing this.
400
00:17:57,210 --> 00:18:00,547
A girl should feel
she's beautiful her whole life,
401
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:03,883
not just the years
she's actually beautiful.
402
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,853
Get over here.
403
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,389
- Let's make a calendar.
- I'm ready.
404
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:19,266
I forgot my wallet.
405
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,301
But I don't need it.
406
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,741
How'd it go
at the adoption agency?
407
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,178
Looks good,
but it's gonna be a process.
408
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,446
Oh,
I'm all for you two adopting,
409
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,648
and FYI,
with your light skin,
410
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,651
a darker baby
would really pop.
411
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,353
We should open
some champagne.
412
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,888
To celebrate the baby?
413
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,592
That and the blessed arrival
of my new driver's license.
414
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,360
Take a look, ladies.
415
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,928
Oh, honey,
that's a terrible picture.
416
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,798
Yeah, I know,
but look at the birth date.
417
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,533
1980?
418
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,703
So they made a mistake.
419
00:18:56,803 --> 00:19:00,807
Uh-uh, according to the great
state of Ohio, I'm 35,
420
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,909
and we're all gonna
go with that.
421
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,079
The calendars are out,
girls.
422
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,850
Oh, look at Miss September.
423
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,085
She's 98?
424
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,655
Oh, and look
at that cute, wrinkly Shar-Pei
425
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,857
she's holding in her lap.
426
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,027
She didn't pose with a dog.
427
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,904
Is this unbelievable
or what?
428
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,242
Well, this has been great
for my marriage.
429
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,877
My husband is looking at me
differently.
430
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,679
He's looking at me.
431
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:44,917
I heard the senior center alone
bought 50 copies.
432
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,420
We've caused two heart attacks
already!
433
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,424
Mamie Sue.
434
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,160
Reverend Bower,
I can't believe you're here.
435
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:58,431
I am so proud that you
have taken what God gave you
436
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,999
and put it
toward a good cause.
437
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,201
Really?
Thank you.
438
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,203
And even though it's April,
439
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,773
my calendar
still shows January.
440
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,843
That's my month.
441
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,312
You know, Mamie,
442
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,481
there's a raffle night
coming up at the church--
443
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,684
And you'd like me
to pose nude for the poster?
444
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,519
Sure!
445
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:23,189
Actually, I was just hoping
you'd be my date.
446
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,057
I would love that.
447
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,759
Wonderful.
448
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:33,333
So apparently,
men don't seem to mind
449
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,502
when you take
your clothes off.
450
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,905
Who knew?
451
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,380
* Ba-ba, ba-ba
452
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,016
* Ba-ba, ba-ba
453
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,156
* Ba-ba, ba-ba
454
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,392
* Ba-ba, ba-ba
455
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,702
* Hey!
31963
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