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1
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,444
- HOT IN CLEVELAND IS RECORDED
2
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,480
IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
3
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,582
- YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER BEEN
TO A VODKA TASTING.
4
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:15,649
DO YOU SIP AND SPIT?
5
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,485
- AND WASTE GOOD VODKA?
6
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,620
JUST SWALLOW.
THAT'S MY MOTTO.
7
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:22,423
DON'T YOU DARE.
8
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:27,361
- UNLIKE YOUR BOYFRIENDS, JOY,
I DON'T SWING AT THE EASY ONES.
9
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,464
- MMM.
THIS STUFF IS GREAT.
10
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,465
WHEN ARE YOU
SHOOTING YOUR COMMERCIAL?
11
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,467
- NEXT WEEK.
12
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,170
VICTORIA CHASE FOR PALEO VODKA.
13
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:39,140
THE VODKA THE CAVEMEN DRANK.
14
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,975
- CAVEMEN DIDN'T DRINK VODKA.
15
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:44,145
- WELL, YOU WERE THERE.
16
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,383
- ELKA, THE MAYOR IS OUT THERE
SITTING ALONE.
17
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,952
YOU INVITED HIM OVER HERE,
SO YOU COULD MAKE NICE.
18
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,487
- BUT I HATE HIM.
19
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,788
WE'LL JUST END UP FIGHTING.
20
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,023
- OH, TAKE THIS.
21
00:00:56,056 --> 00:01:00,561
NOTHING SOLVES FIGHTS
BETTER THAN ALCOHOL.
22
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:02,596
- THIS IS A LITTLE HEAVY.
23
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:10,871
LIGHTER NOW.
24
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,274
THERE'S NO REASON
WE CAN'T BE NICE TO EACH OTHER
25
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,243
FOR ONE NIGHT, MR. MAYOR.
26
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:18,746
- NO REASON AT ALL,
COUNCILWOMAN.
27
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,614
- YOUR SPEECH TODAY WAS
28
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:23,151
ALMOST INTERESTING.
29
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:25,219
- AND YOUR REBUTTAL
30
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:28,889
ALMOST MADE SENSE.
31
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,224
- HEY, GUYS.
32
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:32,293
OWEN, I SEE YOU'VE MET
MY BOYFRIEND, JACK.
33
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,362
- I'VE NEVER MET AN OWEN
I DIDN'T LIKE,
34
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:35,963
AND I'VE MET OVER TWO OWENS.
35
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,367
HOW DID YOU GET TO BE
SO ADORABLE?
36
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,702
- MIGHT BE BECAUSE I'M DESCENDED
FROM KITTENS.
37
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,305
ISN'T HE THE CUTEST?
38
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,340
- HE'S RIGHT UP THERE.
39
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,611
I THINK I'M GONNA GO
TALK TO MY MOTHER.
40
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,781
- HI, HONEY.
SO HOW'S THINGS WITH YOU?
41
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,584
HAVE YOU ASKED DEBBIE OUT YET?
42
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,253
- FIRST OF ALL, MOM,
STOP SAYING HER NAME THAT WAY.
43
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:02,923
- LIKE WHAT?
I'M JUST SAYING DEBBIE.
44
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,192
IS SHE PRETTY?
45
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:06,260
- YES, SHE'S PRETTY,
BUT I WORK WITH HER.
46
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,261
I WANT TO TAKE MY TIME.
47
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,662
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
DON'T RUSH.
48
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:12,500
MAYBE TONIGHT YOU'LL MEET A GIRL
AT THIS PARTY.
49
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,905
- LOOKING GOOD, OWEN.
50
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:23,076
- FINE, I'LL ASK DEBBIE OUT.
51
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,279
- WELL, IT'S BEEN
AN EXCITING EVENING, EVERYONE,
52
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,980
BUT IT'S GETTING LATE.
53
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,449
I DO HAVE A LONG DRIVE HOME.
54
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:33,221
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE ONLY LIVES
ACROSS THE STREET.
55
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,457
I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.
56
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,058
- IT'LL SEEM LIKE
A LONG BIT TO ME.
57
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,229
- SEEMS LIKE A LONG BIT
TO ALL OF US.
58
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,699
- WHAT A FUN EVENING.
59
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,435
OH,
AND DON'T YOU JUST LOVE JACK?
60
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:48,636
- ABSOLUTELY.
61
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,903
- ADORE HIM.
62
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,138
- I KNOW.
HE'S SWEET, RIGHT?
63
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,640
- CRAZY SWEET.
64
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,475
SICKENINGLY SWEET.
65
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,344
AND THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER
MAKES MY TEETH HURT.
66
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,379
- OH,
IT'S LIKE SUGAR DATING SYRUP.
67
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,780
IT MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP...
68
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:03,584
MY HANDS IN THE AIR AND BE
SO HAPPY FOR JACK AND MELANIE.
69
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,286
- AWW.
THANKS.
70
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,687
- OH.
71
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,624
YOU KNOW, I AM SO PLEASED ABOUT
MY PALEO VODKA ENDORSEMENT.
72
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,927
I WAS DISAPPOINTED NOT TO BE
THE UNICEF AMBASSADOR, BUT...
73
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:18,266
IN SOME WAYS, VODKA AMBASSADOR
HELPS FAR MORE PEOPLE.
74
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:21,001
- OH, IT DOES.
- IT SO DOES.
75
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,270
IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.
76
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,971
IT'S GONNA BE A DISASTER.
77
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,406
SHE NEVER READS HER CONTRACTS.
78
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,375
- SHE JUST SIGNS THEM,
AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
79
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:30,478
SHE'S IN NORTH KOREA SINGING
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO KIM JONG...
80
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,446
UN, DEUX, TROIS, QUATRE.
81
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,015
YES, THEY'RE ALL HERE.
82
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,352
OH, IT'S DWAYNE.
83
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,454
HE'S FLYING IN TOMORROW
TO DO MY HAIR.
84
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:41,889
THINKING OF GOING BLONDE.
85
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,392
- EXCITING.
- FABULOUS.
86
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,693
IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
87
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,827
- WHO'S SHE KIDDING?
88
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:47,861
I MEAN,
FOR AS LONG AS WE'VE KNOWN HER,
89
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,064
SHE'S HAD THE SAME HAIR...
SHE IS!
90
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,667
WE WERE JUST SAYING HOW GORGEOUS
YOU ARE GONNA BE BLONDE.
91
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:54,902
- OH, TOTALLY.
92
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,804
- OKAY, WELL,
I'M OFF TO GET READY
93
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,006
FOR MY BIG ROMANTIC EVENING
WITH JACK.
94
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,208
I'M GONNA STAY OVER
AT HIS PLACE TONIGHT.
95
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,010
SO, AS THEY SAY
IN NEW ZEALAND...
96
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,011
G'NIGHT, LADIES.
97
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,013
I'M OFF TO HAVE G'SEX.
98
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,316
- G'BRILLIANT.
- G'WONDERFUL.
99
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,318
G'SNORE.
100
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,185
HOW BORING IS THAT SEX GONNA BE?
101
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:14,187
- I KNOW.
IT'S SAME WITH SAME.
102
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,358
IT'S LIKE YAMS HAVING SEX
WITH SWEET POTATOES.
103
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:21,061
- THE LAST THING YOU WANT IS TWO
NICE PEOPLE DOING IT POLITELY.
104
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,332
VANILLA ON VANILLA IS
THE WORST SEX OF ALL.
105
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,338
- IS THAT VANILLA I SMELL?
106
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,173
- YES, IT'S MY SCENTED CANDLES.
107
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,475
THEY'RE CALLED "VANILLA ESCAPE."
108
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,043
- MM.
109
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,511
- NOT TOO OVERPOWERING, THOUGH.
110
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:40,614
NOTHING WORSE
THAN OVER-SCENTED CANDLES.
111
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,517
APART FROM MAYBE
WAR AND POISON SPIDERS.
112
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:48,489
SO MAY I KISS YOU NOW?
113
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,125
- ASKING FOR A KISS,
114
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,161
IT'S LIKE SIXTH GRADE.
115
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:56,730
- WHAT NEXT?
116
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:57,865
"WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
117
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,467
IF I UNHOOK
THE BACK OF YOUR BRASSIERE?"
118
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,371
- EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
119
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,938
- OH, UH, YEAH.
YES.
120
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,607
I WAS THINKING
121
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,609
HOW LOVELY IT WOULD BE
TO HAVE SOME MUSIC.
122
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,544
- GREAT IDEA.
123
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,747
WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?
124
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,384
- WE'RE IN YOUR HEAD.
125
00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,385
- PROVE IT.
126
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:18,486
- RIGHT NOW YOU'RE THINKING,
127
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,053
"I KNEW
I WAS HAVING SEX TONIGHT.
128
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,088
WHY DIDN'T I SHAVE MY LEGS?"
129
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,991
- OH, MY GOD,
YOU ARE IN MY HEAD!
130
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,394
WHY?
131
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:30,598
- WE JUST POPPED IN TO WATCH YOU
HAVE VANILLA SEX.
132
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,466
- WELL, I AM GONNA KISS HIM,
133
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:35,436
AND IT IS GONNA BE SO HOT
THAT WHEN I OPEN MY EYES,
134
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:37,871
YOU TWO WILL BE GONE.
135
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,317
- ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
136
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:51,652
YOU SEEM A LITTLE DISTRACTED.
137
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,920
- NO. NO, NO.
138
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:53,921
LET'S JUST HAVE THAT KISS.
139
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,288
- OKAY.
140
00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,326
WOW.
141
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,063
both: STILL HERE.
142
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,071
- * BA-BA, BA-BA
143
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:14,442
* BA-BA, BA-BA
144
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:15,443
* HEY!
145
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,310
- YOU GUYS RUINED SEX FOR ME.
146
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,746
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
147
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,180
- JACK AND I DIDN'T HAVE SEX
LAST NIGHT
148
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,815
BECAUSE THE TWO OF YOU
WERE IN MY HEAD.
149
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,350
- WHY WERE WE IN YOUR HEAD?
150
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:25,352
- BECAUSE I OVERHEARD
YOU TALKING
151
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:28,722
ABOUT HOW VANILLA
OUR SEX WAS GONNA BE.
152
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,123
I WOULD NEVER TALK
ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU
153
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,725
BEHIND YOUR BACK LIKE THAT.
154
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,360
UNLIKE THE TWO OF YOU,
I'M A GOOD FRIEND.
155
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,795
- REALLY?
156
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:37,364
ARE YOU THE GOOD FRIEND WHO SAID
VICTORIA WILL SCREW THINGS UP
157
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:38,566
BECAUSE SHE NEVER
READS CONTRACTS?
158
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,967
- WHAT?
MELANIE!
159
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,369
- WELL, YOU SAID JOY
NEVER CHANGES HER HAIR.
160
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,137
- VICTORIA.
- OH, PLEASE.
161
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,940
MELANIE WILL HAVE INTERESTING
SEX BEFORE YOU GO BLONDE.
162
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:50,478
both: VICTORIA!
163
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,779
- SO...
164
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,482
I SLEPT WITH THE MAYOR.
165
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,485
- YOU SAID YOU INVITED HIM OVER
LAST NIGHT
166
00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:58,952
TO FIND COMMON GROUND.
167
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,021
- WE FOUND COMMON GROUND.
168
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,190
IN BED.
169
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:06,159
- BUT YOU DISAGREE
ON EVERY ISSUE.
170
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,228
- THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT HOT.
171
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,097
- YOU ARE A COUNCILWOMAN.
172
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,499
YOU CANNOT
SLEEP WITH THE MAYOR.
173
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:14,367
- OLIVIA POPE
SLEEPS WITH THE PRESIDENT.
174
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,204
- ON SCANDAL,
WHICH IS A TV SHOW.
175
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,872
- USED TO BE.
176
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,974
NOW IT'S REAL.
177
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,344
- WHAT IF THIS GETS OUT?
178
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,880
YOUR SUPPORTERS LIKE THAT
YOU ACTUALLY OPPOSE THE MAYOR.
179
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,583
- AND WHEN THERE WERE RUMORS
ABOUT HIM AND THE TREASURER,
180
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:30,951
YOU TOLD THE PLAIN DEALER,
181
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,853
"ANYONE DUMB ENOUGH
TO SLEEP WITH THE MAYOR
182
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,322
DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE
IN PUBLIC OFFICE."
183
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:39,893
- I COULD SEE WHERE THAT
COULD COME BACK TO BITE ME.
184
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,261
- SO YOU'LL BREAK IT OFF?
185
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,996
- FINE.
186
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:46,767
I'M GONNA HAVE TO DELETE
SOME STUFF FROM THE CLOUD.
187
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:54,207
- VICTORIA, WE ARE SO EXCITED
HERE AT PALEO VODKA
188
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,409
TO HAVE YOU AS OUR SPOKESPERSON.
189
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:57,545
LET'S SIGN THESE CONTRACTS.
190
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,912
- GLAD TO, BUT FIRST,
191
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,981
I'VE HAD ISSUES
WITH CONTRACTS BEFORE,
192
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,685
SO I MUST READ THIS
VERY CAREFULLY.
193
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,188
MM.
194
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,690
MM-HMM.
195
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,158
- YOU'RE NOT REALLY READING.
196
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:14,562
YOU'RE JUST FURROWING YOUR BROW
AND MAKING "MM-HMM" NOISES.
197
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,296
- HEY.
198
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,565
- IS THERE A PROBLEM?
199
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:18,866
- NO.
200
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:22,169
I'VE READ ALL THE WORDS,
AND IT APPEARS TO BE IN ORDER.
201
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,203
PEN, PLEASE.
202
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,608
- GREAT.
203
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,176
AND GOOD LUCK
WITH SURVIVAL NIGHT.
204
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,478
- THE WHAT-WHAT NOW?
205
00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:32,680
- SURVIVAL NIGHT.
206
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,181
YOU SPEND 24 HOURS IN A CAVE
207
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,917
SURVIVING THE ELEMENTS
CAVEMAN-STYLE.
208
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:37,951
IT WAS ALL IN THE CONTRACT.
209
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,653
- OF COURSE IT WAS.
210
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,928
- MM.
- MM-HMM.
211
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,964
- WE'RE READING ALL THE WORDS.
212
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,802
- SO SAME OLD, SAME OLD?
213
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:57,971
- ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING...
214
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,140
NO, JUST THE USUAL, PLEASE.
215
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,709
- OKAY.
216
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,611
"I'M JOY SCROGGS, I AM,
217
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,979
AND I NEVER
CHANGE ME LOOK."
218
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,480
"I LIKE THINGS
219
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:11,051
THE WAY THEY ARE, GUV'NA."
220
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,721
- I SOUND NOTHING LIKE THAT.
221
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,256
DWAYNE, I WANT TO GO BLONDE.
222
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,390
NOT JUST BLONDE.
223
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,391
PLATINUM.
224
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:23,330
I'LL GET THE BLEACH.
225
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,304
- HELLO, STRANGER.
226
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,945
I KNOW.
IT'S A BIT DIFFERENT.
227
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,246
THE STYLIST THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE BETTER
228
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,281
IF MY EYEBROWS AND EYELASHES
MATCHED, BUT I--
229
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,282
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
230
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,051
YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
231
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,086
YOU LOOK LIKE AN ALBINO,
AND DEBBIE'S COMING.
232
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,120
- SO?
233
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,456
WHAT DOES DEBBIE HAVE
TO DO WITH THIS?
234
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,824
- THAT.
235
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,897
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
SHE WAS AN ALBINO?
236
00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:01,134
- BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE GOING TO BE AN ALBINO.
237
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,970
BESIDES, IT SOUNDED RACIST.
238
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,404
- IS IT A RACE?
239
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,274
- SHH.
240
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,042
- HEY, OWEN.
241
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,511
- DEBBIE, THIS IS MY MOM, JOY.
242
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,579
- HI.
243
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,748
DON'T WORRY.
THIS WAS A MISTAKE.
244
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,016
BE BACK TO NORMAL SOON.
245
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,084
NOT "NORMAL."
246
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,451
YOU LOOK NORMAL,
247
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,287
IF NORMAL IS
INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL.
248
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,255
GOSH, I'D GO OUT WITH YOU IF--
249
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,491
IF YOU WEREN'T DATING MY SON
AND I WAS GAY AND YOU WERE.
250
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,626
WHY DOESN'T SOMEBODY ELSE TALK?
251
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,298
- YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING KIND OF
A WEIRD VIBE HERE, OWEN.
252
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,334
I'LL SEE YOU BACK AT WORK.
253
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,310
- SO...
254
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,346
ANYONE ELSE AT THE OFFICE
YOU LIKE?
255
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:55,222
- ELKA, ARE YOU BREAKING UP
WITH ME?
256
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,625
- DON'T ACT LIKE
IT WAS MORE THAN IT WAS.
257
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:03,630
WE WERE JUST
ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS.
258
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:05,899
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
259
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:09,002
IT'S BEST
FOR BOTH OF OUR CAREERS.
260
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:14,908
- NO MORE SEXY TEXTS
DURING COUNCIL MEETINGS.
261
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,210
- NO MORE LETTING OUR HANDS
262
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:20,580
LINGER ON THE SHOVEL
AT GROUND-BREAKINGS.
263
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,283
- GO NOW.
264
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,252
DON'T LOOK BACK.
265
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,773
- WOW, YOU REALLY DID IT.
266
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:49,276
- YES, BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU
AND VICTORIA WERE IN MY HEAD.
267
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,979
AND THEN I SAW OWEN, AND HE
WAS ON A DATE WITH DEBBIE.
268
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,613
- YAY!
- NO, MELANIE.
269
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:54,882
NOT YAY.
270
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,383
DEBBIE'S AN ALBINO.
271
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:59,519
- OH, MY GOD,
AND YOU LOOK LIKE AN ALBINO.
272
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,520
DID SHE NOTICE?
273
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,924
- YEAH, SHE DID.
274
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,525
- OH, MY GOD.
275
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,060
- I KNOW.
MY HAIR.
276
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:11,031
- JOY, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU
AND HOW TERRIBLE YOU LOOK.
277
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,699
I HAVE TO SLEEP IN A CAVE
278
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,202
BECAUSE YOU TWO SAID THAT
I DIDN'T READ CONTRACTS.
279
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,238
OH, HOW THE HELL
AM I GONNA SURVIVE IN THE WILD?
280
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,308
I CAN BARELY MAKE IT
THROUGH A NIGHT AT THE RADISSON.
281
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,977
- SEE, THIS IS THE PROBLEM
WITH WOMEN LIVING TOGETHER.
282
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,212
WE'RE IN EACH OTHER'S HEADS.
283
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,646
OUR MIND CYCLES ARE SYNCED.
284
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:27,647
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
285
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,216
WE HAVE PMS.
286
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,451
PERSISTENT MENTAL...
287
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,286
SOMETHING.
288
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,387
WHAT DO WE DO?
289
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,523
- WHAT WOMEN HAVE DONE
FOR CENTURIES:
290
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,492
DRINK, EAT CHOCOLATE, AND TRY
TO STAY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.
291
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:43,096
- AND STAY AWAY FROM ME
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.
292
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,434
- WAIT, WHOSE HEAD IS SHE IN?
293
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:56,343
- HI, I'M BEAR THOMAS,
AND THIS DARK, DAMP, REMOTE CAVE
294
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,146
IS GONNA BE VICTORIA CHASE'S
BEDROOM FOR THE NIGHT.
295
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,514
ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN HER
AND THE ELEMENTS
296
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:04,985
IS A SLEEPING BAG
AND A BOTTLE OF PALEO VODKA.
297
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,887
I'M GONNA LEAVE HER NOW.
- WHAT?
298
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,721
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
299
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:12,292
YOU HAVE TO PROTECT ME
AGAINST ALL THIS NATURE.
300
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,660
- THE WHOLE POINT
OF THE PROMOTION IS
301
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,529
YOU HERE AGAINST THE ELEMENTS.
302
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:19,867
THE GOOD NEWS IS, ALL THE BUGS
IN THIS CAVE ARE EDIBLE.
303
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,101
OH, AND THE BATS WON'T COME OUT
304
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,303
UNLESS YOU MAKE A SUDDEN
MOVEMENT OR SCREAM IN FEAR.
305
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,673
- SEE YOU TOMORROW.
306
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:38,118
- OH.
I'M SO ALONE.
307
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,520
THE ONLY VOICE IN MY HEAD
IS MY OWN,
308
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:45,025
SAYING, "WHY DIDN'T YOU READ
YOUR CONTRACT?"
309
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:48,261
OH, I WISH
MELANIE WAS IN MY HEAD.
310
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:49,897
SHE'D KNOW WHAT TO DO.
311
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,599
- HEY, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T
WANT ME IN YOUR HEAD?
312
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,901
- BECAUSE I'M BETTER
IN A CRISIS.
313
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,235
IF YOU CAN'T DRINK IT
OR SLEEP WITH IT,
314
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,904
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
315
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,405
- GOOD ONE, VICTORIA.
316
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,639
- THAT WAS MY LINE.
317
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,209
- NO, BUT I'M THE ONE
IMAGINING YOU SAYING IT.
318
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,077
NOW, HELP ME.
319
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,612
HOW AM I GONNA GET
THROUGH THE NIGHT?
320
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,614
- YOU'RE AN ACTRESS.
321
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,917
all: AN ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING
ACTRESS.
322
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:12,986
- I NEVER GET TIRED
OF THINKING IT.
323
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,322
- JUST ACT LIKE
YOU'RE NOT IN A CAVE.
324
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,758
YOU'RE IN THE CAVE ROOM
OF AN EXCLUSIVE OUTDOOR SPA.
325
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,793
GWYNETH TRIED TO BOOK IT BUT WAS
TOLD YOU WERE MORE IMPORTANT.
326
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,529
- THERE'S NOBODY HERE
TO IMPRESS,
327
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,331
SO YOU DON'T HAVE
TO PRETEND TO READ A BOOK.
328
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,833
AND INSTEAD OF CUCUMBER WATER,
YOU HAVE...
329
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,936
- VODKA.
330
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,772
OH, I LIKE
THE WAY I'M THINKING.
331
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,845
- I AM SO SORRY
ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT.
332
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,247
- THAT'S OKAY.
333
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,750
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I HAVE
NOT HAD SEX WITH WOMEN BEFORE.
334
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,586
- DO YOU WANT TO COME AROUND
AGAIN TONIGHT
335
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:50,157
FOR A NICE EVENING IN?
336
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,959
- OR...
337
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,361
WE COULD BE NAUGHTY AND DO IT
RIGHT NOW IN THE BATHROOM.
338
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,963
THE BATH--
339
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,965
THE BATHROOM?
340
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,401
I'VE NEVER DONE IT
IN PUBLIC BEFORE.
341
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:03,670
- BACK IN NEW ZEALAND,
342
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:07,340
I HAD A SENSUAL ENCOUNTER
AT A BUS STOP ONCE.
343
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:11,244
BUT IT WAS INTERRUPTED BY SHEEP.
344
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,745
- MEET ME
IN THE HANDICAP BATHROOM.
345
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,281
FIVE MINUTES.
346
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,515
- SOUNDS NAUGHTY.
347
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:16,816
- OH, SUPER NAUGHTY.
348
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,786
BECAUSE IF WE GET CAUGHT
IN THE HANDICAP BATHROOM,
349
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,021
WE HAVE TO PAY A FINE.
350
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,104
- OH!
351
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,006
OH, HOW DO YOU MAKE
A BATHROOM SEXY?
352
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,273
I WISH JOY WERE HERE.
353
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,842
- WHY DID YOU THINK OF ME FIRST?
354
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,145
- EXACTLY.
I'VE HAD SEX IN BATHROOMS.
355
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,813
- YEAH, BUT ADMIT IT.
356
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,849
YOU THINK OF JOY FIRST.
357
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,551
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
358
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,321
- I JUST CAME BY TO SAY THAT.
359
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,126
- OKAY, YOU GUYS, WHAT DO I DO?
360
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,094
- WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
YOU HAVE TO BE DRUNK ENOUGH
361
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,563
TO FORGET
YOU'RE IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM.
362
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,233
- I'M NOT DRUNK.
IT'S LUNCHTIME.
363
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,235
- OH, MELANIE, THIS ISN'T YOU.
364
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,937
AND NOT BEING YOURSELF IS
THE WORST SEX OF ALL.
365
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,306
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID NICE SEX
WAS THE WORST SEX OF ALL.
366
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,874
- WHAT DO WE KNOW?
WE'RE NOT NICE.
367
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,210
WE'VE NEVER HAD NICE SEX.
368
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,278
MAYBE IT'S GOOD.
369
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,879
- IT IS GOOD.
370
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,417
OOH, ROOMY, ISN'T IT?
371
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:28,288
- LOTS OF SPACE FOR SEX.
372
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,590
AND, OF COURSE, BACTERIA.
373
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,625
- JACK, I'M SORRY.
THIS ISN'T ME.
374
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,594
AND I'M--I'M SENSING
THIS ISN'T YOU EITHER.
375
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,728
- MM.
376
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,331
- AND NOT BEING YOURSELF
IS THE WORST SEX OF ALL.
377
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:42,435
- WELL, ACTUALLY, NOT HAVING SEX
IS THE WORST SEX OF ALL.
378
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,404
SHALL WE GO BACK TO MY PLACE?
- YES, PLEASE.
379
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,772
- AND IF YOU STILL WANT
TO SPICE THINGS UP,
380
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,808
I DO HAVE A SCENTED CANDLE
CALLED "MOROCCAN SUNDAYS,"
381
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,778
WHICH WOULD BE RATHER NAUGHTY
TO LIGHT, AS TODAY'S TUESDAY.
382
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,082
- HI, DEBBIE.
383
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,483
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
384
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,651
- OH, MY GOD,
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE?
385
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,687
- I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU
ALL DAY
386
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,956
BUT NOT IN A CREEPY WAY.
387
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,558
- HOW IS THAT NOT CREEPY?
388
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,828
- BECAUSE MY SON NEEDS
A COMPANION SATURDAY NIGHTS,
389
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,331
AND IT CAN'T BE ME ANYMORE.
390
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,599
LOOK...
391
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,468
I'VE TEXTED OWEN.
HE'S ON HIS WAY HERE.
392
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:18,004
AND I WAS HOPING
TO SMOOTH THINGS OVER WITH YOU,
393
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,406
SO YOU'D GIVE HIM
ANOTHER CHANCE.
394
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,174
- NO, YOU ARE CRAZY.
395
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,211
LEAVE ME ALONE,
OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE.
396
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:27,114
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
I'M LEAVING.
397
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,585
- YOU CAN'T GIVE UP LIKE THAT.
398
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,886
HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE.
399
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,190
- NOW GET BACK IN THERE,
AND DO WHAT I DO WITH MY KIDS.
400
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,391
WHEN WE'VE HURT EACH OTHER,
401
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,959
WE START ALL OVER AGAIN
402
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,661
AND DO IT THE WAY
WE WISH WE'D DONE IT.
403
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,930
WE CALL IT A DO-OVER.
THIS ONE TIME WITH JENNA--
404
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,732
- YOU DO REALIZE THAT
YOU CAN MAKE HER STOP TALKING
405
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,400
AT ANY TIME.
406
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,342
- HELLO, I'M JOY SCROGGS.
407
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,844
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
408
00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,380
- I'D LIKE TO TRY A DO-OVER.
409
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,983
I'M SORRY FOR THE WAY
THINGS STARTED WITH US.
410
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,619
MY SON REALLY LIKES YOU.
411
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:11,758
HE SAYS EVERY OTHER WOMAN
PALES IN COMPARISON TO Y--
412
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:15,428
NOT PALES.
413
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:18,198
LOOK, OWEN IS A GREAT GUY,
414
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,267
AND YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM
ANOTHER CHANCE.
415
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,269
- MOM, WHAT'S GOING ON?
416
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:26,038
DEBBIE, I AM SO SORRY.
THIS WOMAN IS CRAZY.
417
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,640
- OH, SHE IS CRAZY,
418
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,710
BUT SHE ALSO SAID THAT I SHOULD
GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE.
419
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,912
AND BESIDES,
A NICE GUY LIKE YOU
420
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,215
SHOULDN'T BE SPENDING ALL OF HIS
SATURDAY NIGHTS WITH HIS MOTHER.
421
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,884
- WHA--
422
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,253
YOU TOLD HER THAT?
423
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:43,390
- WOULD YOU LIKE
TO JOIN ME FOR A DRINK?
424
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,424
- I WOULD.
425
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,730
- OH, THIS IS SO CUTE.
426
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:51,731
- MOM.
427
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:54,434
- GOING.
TOTALLY GOING.
428
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,505
BUT SO CUTE.
429
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,010
- YOU KNOW, JOY,
430
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,545
I'M REALLY STARTING
TO GET USED TO THE HAIR.
431
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,646
- I'M LOVING IT.
432
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:07,880
- I'M CHANGING IT BACK TOMORROW.
433
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:11,117
- OH, THANK GOD.
- IT'S HIDEOUS.
434
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:15,087
- GROW YOUR MUSTACHE OUT,
YOU'LL LOOK LIKE MARK TWAIN.
435
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:21,228
- SO HOW'D THINGS GO WITH JACK?
436
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,463
- WELL, MY FRIENDS,
THERE IS A REASON
437
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,299
THAT VANILLA IS THE MOST POPULAR
FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM
438
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,268
IN THE WORLD.
439
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:31,003
- HOW MANY SCOOPS?
440
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,405
- ELKA!
441
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:36,909
- OH.
442
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,319
OH.
- HELLO.
443
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,255
I HAVE SOME URGENT CITY BUSINESS
444
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:50,723
TO DISCUSS
WITH THE COUNCILWOMAN.
445
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,164
- SO WHAT'S
THE URGENT CITY BUSINESS?
446
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,033
- I MISS YOU.
447
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:04,404
- I MISS YOU, TOO.
448
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,307
- JUST DOING OUR JOBS,
SERVING THE PEOPLE?
449
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,342
THAT'S BORING.
450
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:13,112
- IT'S SCANDAL WITHOUT THE SEX.
451
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,447
- WHO'S WATCHING THAT?
452
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:17,250
- I'M NOT.
453
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,685
- CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER?
454
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,886
- DON'T DO IT, ELKA.
455
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,454
- THINK OF YOUR CAREER.
456
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,956
- IT'LL END IN TEARS.
457
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:27,026
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
458
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,027
- GO FOR IT.
459
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,263
- THOSE WOMEN ARE IDIOTS.
460
00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:31,964
- I DON'T LIKE JOY.
461
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,133
- NONE OF US DO.
462
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,138
- LET'S DO IT FOR CLEVELAND.
463
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,415
- * BA-BA, BA-BA
464
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,850
* BA-BA, BA-BA
465
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:58,024
* BA-BA, BA-BA
466
00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,926
* BA-BA, BA-BA
467
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,537
* HEY!
32489
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