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1
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,278
- HOT IN CLEVELAND IS RECORDED
2
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,213
IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
3
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:18,552
- WELL, SOMETHING JUST FELL
OFF THE HANDSOME TRUCK.
4
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,524
- HE IS CUTE.
5
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:28,596
- WATCH ME ZAP THAT SILVER FOX
WITH MY BLUE LASERS.
6
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:37,338
WHAT THE HELL?
7
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,773
- WOW, THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED
BEFORE.
8
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:40,974
- IT'S YOUR FAULT.
9
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:44,145
I'M SHROUDED IN SPINSTER FOG.
10
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,380
- ELKA, WE ARE NOT SPINSTERS.
11
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,682
WE ARE SOPHISTICATED,
DESIRABLE WOMEN
12
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,385
WITH A MILLION EXCITING THINGS
GOING ON IN OUR LIVES.
13
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,955
OH, LOOK!
NEW COFFEE SLEEVES.
14
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,557
AND THEY HAVE SAYINGS ON THEM.
15
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,627
"FREEDOM COMES
FROM SELF-RELIANCE."
16
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,429
YOU KNOW, THIS COFFEE SLEEVE
HAS A POINT.
17
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,631
I PAY PEOPLE TO DO EVERYTHING
FOR ME.
18
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,966
I MEAN, WHY DID I PAY 20 BUCKS
TO GET THIS BUTTON SEWN ON?
19
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:09,137
- THAT'S WHAT I CHARGE.
20
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,504
- I MEAN, I KNOW
IT'S JUST A CUP,
21
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,806
BUT I WAS JUST TELLING
MY RADIO LISTENERS THE OTHER DAY
22
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,309
THAT INSPIRATION
CAN COME FROM ANYWHERE.
23
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:18,412
- MINE SAYS,
"MAKE YOUR BRILLIANCE KNOWN."
24
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:23,151
WELL, AS IT HAPPENS, CUP,
MY AGENT SAYS A BIG SPONSOR
25
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:26,454
IS LOOKING TO BUILD A WHOLE
LIFESTYLE WEBSITE AROUND ME.
26
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,722
- LIKE OPRAH AND GWYNETH'S?
- EXACTLY.
27
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,058
NOW, IT TURNS OUT
PEOPLE ARE DYING TO HEAR
28
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:33,827
OSCAR-CERTIFIED ADVICE
AND CELEBRITY TIPS.
29
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,197
LIKE MY THOUGHT ON FASTING,
30
00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:40,168
"WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE EATING,
DON'T."
31
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,470
THAT'S JUST ONE.
32
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,472
- LET'S READ ELKA'S CUP.
33
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:47,808
"PERSEVERANCE IS
THE SOUL OF SUCCESS."
34
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,710
I THINK IT'S TALKING
ABOUT THE SILVER FOX.
35
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,045
YOU SHOULD TRY AGAIN.
PERSEVERE.
36
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:59,187
- WELL, I GUESS IT'S TIME
TO BRING OUT THE BIG GUNS.
37
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,555
MY DIMPLES.
38
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,392
EXCUSE ME?
39
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:06,827
NEED SOME SUGAR?
40
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,196
- NO, THANKS.
41
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:13,901
- OH, STOP THAT.
42
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,337
THESE AREN'T FOR YOU.
43
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,976
- * BA-BA, BA-BA
44
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,280
* BA-BA, BA-BA
45
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,315
* HEY!
46
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:28,749
- SO, PAULA,
47
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,418
IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS AND
THE SCREEN DOOR IS STILL BROKEN?
48
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,453
- YES, AND WHEN I REMINDED
MY HUSBAND,
49
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:33,621
HE ACCUSED ME OF NAGGING.
50
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,424
I MEAN, WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO?
51
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,659
- ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART,
MEN ONLY WANT THREE THINGS:
52
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,261
SEX, FOOD, AND SEX.
53
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,462
SO HERE'S WHAT YOU GOT TO DO--
54
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,365
- YOU THINK SEX IS
THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING.
55
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,367
- OKAY, GIVE ME A SCENARIO
WHERE IT'S NOT.
56
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:50,571
- UM, OKAY, YOU'VE BEEN
IN A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT,
57
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,740
AND YOUR ARM HAS BEEN SEVERED.
58
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,107
- IF THAT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT'S BEEN SEVERED,
59
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,010
SEX IS STILL THE ANSWER.
60
00:02:57,010 --> 00:03:00,281
- ANYWAY, PAULA, MAYBE FORGET
ASKING FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO HELP
61
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,582
AND FIX THE DOOR YOURSELF.
62
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:04,518
YOU KNOW, I READ
SOMETHING INSPIRATIONAL TODAY.
63
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,887
"FREEDOM COMES
FROM SELF-RELIANCE."
64
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,522
- YEAH, MELANIE HASN'T HAD
A DATE IN A WHILE,
65
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,625
SO SELF-RELIANCE IS
HER ONLY SOURCE OF FREEDOM.
66
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:19,467
- I'M TALKING ABOUT DOING
SOMETHING WITH MY OWN HANDS.
67
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:22,803
I...MEAN...
68
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,341
I AM GOING TO INSTALL SHELVES
IN MY CLOSET.
69
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,043
I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT.
70
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,779
- WELL, THEN YOU ARE WELCOME
TO COME OVER.
71
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,547
AND WHEN I'M FINISHED,
YOU'LL BE EATING CROW.
72
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,948
- I'VE HAD YOUR COOKING,
MELANIE.
73
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,150
IT ALL TASTES LIKE CROW.
74
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,386
DING!
THAT'S ROUND ONE TO FRANKIE.
75
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,722
- NO, NO, IT IS NOT.
PAULA, DISREGARD THE DING.
76
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,692
PAULA?
- NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
77
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,660
YOU WENT AND SCARED OFF
OUR CALLER.
78
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,028
- HEY, I'M BACK.
79
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,932
I JUST HAD SEX WITH MY HUSBAND,
AND IT WORKED.
80
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,001
- HE'S FIXING THE SCREEN DOOR?
- YES!
81
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,804
HE'S OUT THERE RIGHT NOW
WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE.
82
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,307
THANKS, FRANKIE.
83
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,309
- DING.
84
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,095
- I DON'T GET IT.
85
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,232
THESE DIMPLES HAVE WORKED
FOR EIGHT DECADES.
86
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,334
- LET IT GO.
87
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,336
THERE'S PLENTY OF FISH
IN THE SEA.
88
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:32,673
- OH, HE'S TOO PRETTY
TO THROW BACK.
89
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,007
- SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
90
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,509
- FLATTER HIM
91
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:39,112
BY ACTING INTERESTED
IN WHATEVER HE SAYS.
92
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,416
I'LL PUT ON MY LISTENING FACE.
93
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,684
- THAT WORKS.
94
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,019
EVEN THE DULLEST, MOST ANNOYING
PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
95
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,789
ARE THRILLED WHEN SOMEONE
PAYS ATTENTION TO THEM.
96
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,924
- FASCINATING.
97
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:58,366
- YOU MISERABLE OLD BAT.
98
00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:00,868
- I GOT THIS.
99
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,371
- OH, ELKA,
YOU'LL WANT TO HEAR THIS.
100
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,038
I HAVE BIG NEWS ABOUT ME.
101
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,140
- FASCINATING.
102
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:14,515
- AH, SHE'S A DEAR,
ISN'T SHE?
103
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,484
I WAS JUST ON THE PHONE
WITH MY WEBSITE TEAM,
104
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:18,652
AND THEY WANT TO CAPTURE
MY LIFESTYLE
105
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,388
BY DOING VIDEOS OF ME.
106
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,956
- REALLY?
HASN'T THAT BEEN DONE TO DEATH?
107
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,124
- THEY WANT TO INCLUDE YOU.
108
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,394
- WELL, THERE'S A FRESH TWIST.
109
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:27,628
ARE YOU SERIOUS? ME?
110
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:29,963
- YEAH, THEY LIKE THE IDEA
OF A BRITISH SIDEKICK.
111
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,600
- JOLLY BLOODY BRILLIANT!
112
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,167
- AND THEY'RE OPEN TO ANYTHING.
113
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,969
I MEAN, WHATEVER WE DO
IN REAL LIFE
114
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,438
COULD BE AN EPISODE
ON THE WEBSITE.
115
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:40,007
- WELL, LET'S POUR
A GLASS OF WINE
116
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,742
AND THINK OF AN IDEA.
117
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,111
- THAT'S GOT TO BE FRANKIE.
118
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,046
THIS IS GONNA BE SO SWEET.
119
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:53,186
WELL, WELL, WELL, IT'S FRANKIE.
PERFECT TIMING.
120
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,922
I JUST FINISHED INSTALLING
MY SHELVES.
121
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,863
- THIS IS A MESS.
122
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,698
- IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
THE STUD FINDER DOESN'T WORK.
123
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,600
- LET ME SEE THIS THING.
124
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,636
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
YES, IT DOES.
125
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,005
- JUST TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO
TO FIX IT.
126
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,141
- WELL, FOR STARTERS,
YOU GOT TO DRYWALL.
127
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:18,145
DUH, DRYWALL.
128
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,147
WHAT'S THAT?
129
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,915
- PLASTERBOARD.
130
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,684
LOOK, IT'S EASY--ALL YOU
GOT TO DO IS CLEAN UP THE HOLE,
131
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,553
CUT A PIECE OF DRYWALL,
SCREW IT INTO THE STUDS,
132
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,488
TAPE THE SEAMS,
APPLY THE JOINT COMPOUND,
133
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,056
AND THEN ALL YOU GOT TO DO
IS SAND IT, PRIME IT,
134
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,691
COUPLE COATS OF PAINT,
AND YOU'RE DONE.
135
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:34,595
- CLEAN...OUT...
136
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,797
THE...HOLE.
137
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,501
- LOOK, I KNOW A GUY
OVER AT THE STRIP CLUB.
138
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,470
HE COULD PROBABLY DO IT FOR YOU
FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS MAX.
139
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,971
BUT YOU GOT TO PAY HIM
IN SINGLES,
140
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,272
BECAUSE HE'S GOING OUT TONIGHT.
141
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,674
- YOU'RE THE GUY
FROM THE STRIP CLUB?
142
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,609
- SMART GIRL.
- YEAH.
143
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,715
- MAY I JOIN YOU?
144
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,184
- I GUESS.
145
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,886
- I'M ELKA.
146
00:06:58,886 --> 00:06:59,887
- I'M JIM.
147
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:04,525
- JIM.
WHAT A FASCINATING NAME.
148
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,195
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?
149
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:11,364
- I'M COST JOURNALING.
150
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:14,301
I KEEP TRACK OF EVERY PURCHASE
I MAKE.
151
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,705
- TELL ME MORE.
152
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:21,809
- WHICH MAKES IT AN EVEN $19
ON TOILETRIES.
153
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:25,312
IT'S INTERESTING
HOW IT ALL ADDS UP, ISN'T IT?
154
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:29,149
- INTERESTING IS NOT THE WORD
FOR IT.
155
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:32,520
- WAIT TILL I TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I SPEND ON ELECTRICITY.
156
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,187
IT'S A SHOCKER.
157
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,824
DID YOU CATCH THAT ONE?
158
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,960
- I DID.
159
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,862
- I LIKE TALKING TO YOU, ELKA.
160
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:46,399
- AND YOU ARE SO HANDSOME.
161
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,968
- I'M SO EXCITED TO BE
DEVELOPING THIS WEBSITE
162
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,969
WITH YOU.
163
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,337
- APROPOS OF NOTHING,
164
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,906
ARE THERE AWARDS
FOR THIS TYPE OF THING?
165
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,341
- THERE ARE.
166
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,381
- AND IF IT BLOWS UP,
CRAZY MONEY.
167
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:04,117
- WE'VE GOT LOADS OF
BRILLIANT IDEAS FOR THE WEBSITE.
168
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,954
- THAT ACCENT--GOLD MINE!
LOVE THAT.
169
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,922
THE THING THAT REALLY
MAKES THIS SPECIAL IS
170
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,658
THE VICTORIA/JOY DYNAMIC.
171
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:11,825
OH, GOOD, SHE'S HERE.
172
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,826
- WHO'S HERE?
173
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:13,827
- WELL, AS I MENTIONED,
174
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,729
WE LOVE THE JOY CHARACTER.
175
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,397
- CHARACTER.
YOU MEAN ME?
176
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,966
- WHEN A SPONSOR'S PUTTING UP
THIS MUCH MONEY,
177
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,801
THEY ALWAYS WANT CHOICES.
178
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,571
- BLOODY HELL,
IT'S BRASS MONKEYS OUT THERE.
179
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:28,576
OH, MY GOD,
IT'S VICTORIA CHASE!
180
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,778
YOU'RE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL
IN PERSON.
181
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:35,583
- OH, I LIKE THIS JOY.
DON'T YOU, JOY?
182
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:38,485
- OKAY, I HAVE TO ADMIT,
IT LOOKS REALLY GOOD.
183
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,721
NOW I HAVE TO CHOOSE
THE PAINT COLOR.
184
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,891
DO I WANT IT TO BE ENERGETIC
LIKE SWISS COFFEE
185
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:47,294
OR WELCOMING
LIKE SUMMER WICKER,
186
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,598
BECAUSE DON'T YOU THINK A CLOSET
IS SORT OF A WISHING PLACE?
187
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:53,667
- I WISH I WERE DEAF.
188
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:54,802
- I WANT TO PUT THE MIRROR
189
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,437
ON THE BACK OF THIS CLOSET DOOR
RIGHT HERE.
190
00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:00,073
YEAH, I THINK IT WILL FIT.
OKAY.
191
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,242
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT STICKS SOMETIMES.
192
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,812
- OKAY, FRANKIE SAVES MELANIE:
PART TWO.
193
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,753
- YOU BROKE IT.
194
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,655
HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO GET OUT NOW?
195
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,962
- THIS THING WON'T BUDGE.
196
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,531
OH, NO.
197
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,499
OH, NO, THIS IS NOT GOOD.
198
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,135
I'M A BIG MAN
IN A SMALL CLOSET.
199
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:29,302
- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
200
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,104
- I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC, OKAY?
201
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,107
IS THIS ROOM GETTING SMALLER?
ARE THE WALLS CLOSING IN?
202
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,843
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DO
MY CALMING SONG.
203
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:39,680
* DIDLY-DIDLY-DIDLY-DEE
DIDLY-DIDLY-DIDLY-DEE *
204
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,982
- DOES IT WORK?
- IT DOES.
205
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,517
IN FACT, I'M FEELING...
206
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,518
FINE.
207
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,687
- OKAY.
208
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,421
OH!
209
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,158
OH, NO. OH, NO.
OKAY, OH.
210
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,426
* DIDLY-DIDLY-DIDLY-DEE
211
00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:01,568
- YOU KNOW, ELKA, I FEEL LIKE
I CAN BE MYSELF AROUND YOU.
212
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:04,672
IN FACT...
213
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,875
- HOLY CRAP.
214
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,576
I MEAN NICE GLASSES.
215
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,577
- OH, THANKS.
216
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:15,716
WOW, LOOK WHO HAS DIMPLES.
217
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,350
- SO YOU DIDN'T SEE THEM BEFORE?
218
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,853
- NO, I'M BLIND
WITHOUT MY GLASSES.
219
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,956
BUT NOW THAT WE'RE DATING,
I CAN WEAR THEM ALL THE TIME.
220
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,427
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DIMPLES?
221
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,235
- HOW DID IT GO
WITH THE WEBSITE PEOPLE?
222
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,738
- WELL, I TOLD THEM I DIDN'T
WANT TO DO IT WITHOUT YOU.
223
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,572
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND,
AND I THINK THEY'D BE
224
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,141
TOTALLY MISGUIDED
TO GO WITH OLIVIA.
225
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,310
- THANK YOU, VICTORIA.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
226
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,245
THEY'RE GOING WITH OLIVIA.
227
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,881
- WHAT?
- IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL.
228
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,249
THEY JUST FIND HER
MORE LIKABLE.
229
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,418
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
230
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:55,689
- WELL, IT MEANS THAT THEY
FIND HER MORE LIKABLE THAN YOU.
231
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,558
- I KNOW THAT, YOU IDIOT.
232
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,061
- NEW JOY DOESN'T SAY THINGS
LIKE THAT.
233
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,629
- THEY'RE STILL GOING
TO CALL HER JOY?
234
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:05,198
- OH, THE NAME JUST TESTED
THROUGH THE ROOF,
235
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,401
SO THERE'S A WIN FOR YOU.
236
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,738
- AY-YUP, GIRLIES.
237
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,339
VICTORIA, WE BETTER GET GOING
IF WE'RE GOING TO BE THERE
238
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,307
FOR THE START
OF THE CAVS GAME.
239
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,543
- OH, YEAH, WE'RE SHOOTING AN
EPISODE THERE FOR THE WEBSITE.
240
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,512
- BUT JOY AND VICTORIA GOING
TO THE CAVS GAME WAS MY IDEA.
241
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,014
- OH, AND WE'RE STILL DOING IT.
242
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,550
JOY AND VICTORIA ARE GOING
TO THE CAVS GAME.
243
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,986
ANOTHER WIN FOR YOU.
244
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,990
- SOMEBODY GET RID OF THESE.
245
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:33,393
- OH, GOD, THESE ARE
SOME WELL-UGLY SPECS.
246
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,930
WE HAVEN'T MET.
I'M NEW JOY.
247
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,667
- OH, I APPROVE.
248
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:47,975
- YOU DOING BETTER?
249
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,409
- A LITTLE.
250
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,611
- EVENTUALLY, THEY'RE GOING
TO COME HOME AND FIND US.
251
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:54,081
- SURE, SURE.
252
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,783
- BOY, THIS IS REAL FOR YOU,
ISN'T IT?
253
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,285
- YEAH, YEAH,
SINCE I WAS A KID.
254
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:01,021
SEE, WHEN I WAS SMALL,
TO SAVE MONEY, MY FAMILY HID ME
255
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,790
IN THE TRUNK WHEN WE WOULD GO
TO DRIVE-IN MOVIES.
256
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,557
AND ONE TIME,
THEY FORGOT ABOUT ME,
257
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,794
AND I WAS IN THERE
FOR A COUPLE HOURS.
258
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,261
I STILL REMEMBER
THE MOVIE TOO.
259
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:11,264
IT WAS CHEECH AND CHONG
UP IN SMOKE.
260
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,299
- THAT'S TERRIBLE.
261
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,935
- IT WAS NO BETTER HEARD
THROUGH A TRUNK.
262
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,973
- AND SINCE THEN, I'VE BEEN
AFRAID OF SMALL SPACES.
263
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,843
AND CHEECH AND CHONG.
264
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,511
- REALLY?
CHEECH AND CHONG?
265
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,647
LIKE, "DAVE'S NOT HERE, MAN."
266
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:28,816
- STOP IT, STOP IT!
267
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:32,052
- I'M SORRY. JEEZ.
268
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:35,255
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVE CRAZY FEARS TOO.
269
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:39,359
I AM SCARED TO DEATH
OF BUTTERFLIES.
270
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,394
- BUTTERFLIES?
271
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:42,896
BUTTERFLIES CAN'T HURT YOU.
272
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,698
- NEITHER CAN
CHEECH AND CHONG.
273
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:51,371
- TRUCE?
274
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:58,311
I APPRECIATE YOU SHARING
WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF AND, UH,
275
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,847
HELPING ME TO CALM DOWN.
276
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,849
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
277
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,853
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
278
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:06,854
- NOTHING.
279
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,657
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
280
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,659
- NOTHING.
281
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:14,727
- WHAT ARE WE DOING?
282
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,396
- I DON'T KNOW.
283
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,731
BUT I'M ABOUT TO--
- GO FOR IT.
284
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:28,175
- DOOR'S OPEN.
285
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:31,912
- UH, SORRY ABOUT THE SNEEZE.
286
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,414
- SO, UM, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
287
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,516
- NOTHING.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
288
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,886
- GOOD.
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
289
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,921
JUST CHECKING.
290
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,790
SO I'LL, UH, SEE YOU AT WORK?
- YEAH, SEE YOU AT WORK.
291
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:44,791
- YEAH, YOU WANT ME
TO FIX THIS DOOR?
292
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,327
- NO, NO.
I LIKE IT THERE.
293
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,036
- I GUESS
VICTORIA'S STILL SLEEPING.
294
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,604
SHE MUST HAVE GOTTEN HOME LATE
FROM THE CAVS GAME
295
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:58,906
WITH HER NEW FRIEND.
296
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:02,509
- I SAW VICTORIA AND NEW JOY
ON THE JUMBOTRON.
297
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,644
- CAN WE NOT CALL HER NEW JOY?
298
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:07,147
- OKAY, OLD JOY.
299
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,420
- GOOD MORNING, VICTORIA.
300
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,922
OR WOULD YOU PREFER...
301
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:18,926
"COR BLIMEY, VICTORIA,
GOOD BLEEDING MORNING"?
302
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,494
- LISTEN, JOY, I KNOW
THAT LAST NIGHT WAS BAD.
303
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,763
- BAD?
IT WAS TYPICAL.
304
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,033
SO TYPICAL OF YOU, VICTORIA,
305
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:29,202
TO SACRIFICE YOUR FRIENDS
TO CLIMB THE LADDER OF SUCCESS.
306
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,539
BUT THIS TIME, YOU INVITED ME
ON THAT LADDER WITH YOU.
307
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,942
AND JUST AS I WAS BEGINNING
TO ENJOY THE VIEW,
308
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:36,476
YOU KICKED ME OFF.
309
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,411
NEXT TIME, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TAKE ME TO THE DESERT,
310
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,747
HAVE ME DIG MY OWN GRAVE HOLE,
AND SHOVE ME IN?
311
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,450
- I COULD GO FOR A TRIP
TO THE DESERT.
312
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:50,590
- LOOK, JOY, I KNOW I DESERVE
EVERYTHING THAT YOU JUST SAID.
313
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:53,961
AND THAT'S WHY LAST NIGHT
I TOLD THE WEBSITE PEOPLE THAT
314
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:57,965
YOUR FRIENDSHIP MEANS MORE
THAN THIS PROJECT, AND--
315
00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:58,966
AND I QUIT.
316
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,434
- YOU QUIT?
- YEAH.
317
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,171
- BUT THAT WEBSITE'S IMPORTANT
TO YOU.
318
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,973
- NOT AS IMPORTANT AS YOU.
319
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:10,110
I REALIZED SOMETHING
AT THAT BASKETBALL GAME.
320
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,644
I DON'T WANT TO SPEND TIME
WITH A PERSON
321
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:14,447
WHO IS YOUNG AND BUBBLY
AND LIKABLE.
322
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:17,517
I WANT TO SPEND TIME
WITH YOU.
323
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,988
- REALLY?
OH, VICTORIA, I'M SO TOUCHED.
324
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,855
YOU KNOW WHAT?
325
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,257
I'M GONNA GET SOME CHAMPAGNE,
326
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,194
SO WE CAN CELEBRATE
OUR FRIENDSHIP.
327
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,765
- THAT WAS A NICE THING
YOU DID.
328
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,703
- WELL, IT'S JUST
THE KIND OF PERSON I AM.
329
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:39,672
- THEY FIRED YOU, DIDN'T THEY?
330
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,874
- CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
331
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:44,544
APPARENTLY NEW JOY TESTED BETTER
THAN I DID,
332
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,513
SO NOW THEY'RE BUILDING
THE WHOLE WEBSITE AROUND HER
333
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,781
INSTEAD OF ME.
334
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,285
BUT I FEEL BAD.
335
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,054
DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TELL JOY
THE TRUTH?
336
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:57,524
- NO.
IT WOULD HURT HER FEELINGS.
337
00:15:57,524 --> 00:16:00,593
LET ME DO IT.
338
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,366
- ELKA?
339
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,535
- OVER HERE.
340
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,372
- IT'S THE STRANGEST THING.
341
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,075
NOW I CAN'T FIND
MY SPARE PAIR OF GLASSES.
342
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,509
- NO.
343
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,278
- I'VE LOOKED
ALL OVER YOUR PLACE.
344
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:21,514
- WELL, THE LAST TIME
I SAW THEM,
345
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,451
THEY WERE UNDER THE COVERS.
346
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,553
LET'S GO LOOK THERE.
347
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:51,478
- HELLO, FRANKIE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
348
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:54,914
- HELLO, MELANIE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU AS WELL.
349
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:04,691
- SO, UM, THAT THING THAT DIDN'T
HAPPEN IN THE CLOSET YESTERDAY,
350
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,893
THAT'S NOT GOING TO AFFECT US
HERE RIGHT?
351
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:07,894
- WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
NOTHING DIDN'T HAPPEN
352
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:08,995
IN THE CLOSET YESTERDAY,
353
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:11,698
AND, UH, SECOND,
THE SHOW COMES FIRST, SO--
354
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,699
- I'M GLAD WE'RE CLEAR.
355
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,134
- ME AS WELL.
356
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:17,337
- UP NEXT, HE SAID, SHE SAID
357
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,139
WITH FRANKIE AND MELANIE.
358
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:22,709
TURN UP YOUR RADIO,
AND LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
359
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,778
- HELLO, EVERYBODY.
360
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,415
OUR FIRST CALLER IS TOM
FROM CUYAHOGA FALLS.
361
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:29,482
- YEAH, HI.
362
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,017
I'VE BEEN MARRIED
FOR TEN YEARS,
363
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,121
AND NOW WE'RE ONLY HAVING SEX
LIKE ONCE A MONTH.
364
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,488
WHAT DO I DO?
365
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,458
- WELL, UM, MAYBE YOU
SHOULD DEAL WITH THE PROBLEMS
366
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,861
IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP THAT ARE
LEADING TO HER LACK OF INTEREST.
367
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,497
- YEAH, I DON'T REALLY CARE WHY.
I JUST WANT MORE.
368
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:45,832
RIGHT, FRANKIE?
369
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,501
- I ACTUALLY THINK MELANIE
HAD A PRETTY GREAT POINT.
370
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,037
- WELL, THANK YOU, FRANKIE.
- YOU'RE WELCOME, MELANIE.
371
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,672
- SHOULD WE TAKE ANOTHER CALL?
- I THINK WE SHOULD.
372
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,407
- OKAY.
373
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,377
- HEY, GUYS, UH, SO WHAT
HAPPENED WITH THOSE SHELVES?
374
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,945
- NOTHING HAPPENED.
- ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
375
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,813
- BUT SHE SCREWED IT UP,
RIGHT?
376
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,150
- WELL, ACTUALLY,
WE ENDED UP WORKING TOGETHER,
377
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,684
AND IT WAS
A PRETTY SUCCESSFUL ENDEAVOR.
378
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,787
NOW MELANIE HAS A SHELF
THAT SHE CAN PUT THINGS ON.
379
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,623
- UH-HUH. DID SHE PUT YOUR BALLS
ON THAT SHELF?
380
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,292
- HEY.
381
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,461
WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
THERE'S A LADY HERE, ALL RIGHT?
382
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:18,064
- THANK YOU, FRANKIE.
- YOU'RE VERY WELCOME, MELANIE.
383
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:21,000
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS BREAK.
384
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,202
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
WE'RE TERRIBLE.
385
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,236
- I KNOW!
386
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,604
WE'RE GONNA GET
KICKED OFF THE AIR
387
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,439
IF WE SPEND THE NEXT THREE HOURS
AGREEING WITH EACH OTHER.
388
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,575
- LOOK, THIS WHOLE THING STARTED
BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO KISS ME.
389
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,410
- I TRIED TO KISS YOU?
NO, NO, NO.
390
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,978
YOU TRIED TO KISS ME.
YOU LEANED IN.
391
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:32,979
- YOU LEANED IN.
392
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,382
- THE POINT IS,
THERE WAS LEANING.
393
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,484
- I CAN'T DO THIS SHOW
IF YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME.
394
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,286
- OH, PLEASE.
FEELINGS FOR YOU.
395
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,321
THE ONLY FEELING I HAVE FOR YOU
IS UTTER DISGUST.
396
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,756
- RIGHT BACK AT YA, BABY.
397
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:44,757
OH, THIS IS GOOD.
398
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,693
- I KNOW!
THIS IS US.
399
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,929
- AND WE'RE BACK.
400
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,064
TO THAT CALLER EARLIER WHO WAS
ONLY GETTING IT ONCE A MONTH,
401
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,201
I ACTUALLY AGREE
WITH MELANIE.
402
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,636
HAVE A DIALOGUE WITH YOUR WIFE.
HERE'S THE DIALOGUE.
403
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,904
"PUT OUT OR GET OUT."
404
00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,072
- PLEASE, FRANKIE'S JUST JEALOUS
OF ANY MAN
405
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,374
THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO PAY
FOR IT.
406
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:04,311
- AND MELANIE
CAN'T GIVE IT AWAY FOR FREE.
407
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:14,821
- SO THAT'S WHY A THERMOS
KEEPS THINGS BOTH HOT AND COLD.
408
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:18,958
GOODNESS, I'VE BEEN TALKING
ABOUT THERMOSES FOR 40 MINUTES.
409
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,728
- HAS IT ONLY BEEN 40?
410
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,400
LOOK, JIM, ABOUT US,
I MEAN, IT'S BEEN FUN--
411
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,236
- AH, HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
412
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:32,539
IT'S KIND OF BRIGHT OUT HERE.
413
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,110
- OH.
414
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:41,514
OH, YOU LOOK GOOD
IN THOSE GLASSES.
415
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,450
DAMN GOOD.
416
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,987
- ACTUALLY,
THEY'RE PRESCRIPTION.
417
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:51,324
- SO YOU DON'T NEED
YOUR OTHER GLASSES?
418
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:54,361
- NO.
THESE ARE EASIER ON MY EYES.
419
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:58,365
- THEY'RE EASIER
ON MY EYES TOO.
420
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:03,035
- SO, UM, WHAT WERE YOU
GOING TO TELL ME?
421
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,971
- I CAN'T REMEMBER.
422
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,941
- ELKA, I WANTED TO MENTION,
423
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,911
I'M GOING TO HAVE
SOME DENTAL SURGERY LATER ON,
424
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:15,815
AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO TALK
FOR A FEW DAYS.
425
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,851
- WE'LL MAKE IT WORK.
426
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,137
- * BA-BA, BA-BA
427
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,440
* BA-BA, BA-BA
428
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,680
* BA-BA, BA-BA
429
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,049
* BA-BA, BA-BA
430
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,293
* HEY!
31197
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