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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:05,538 NARRATOR: Previously on Futurama. 2 00:00:11,646 --> 00:00:13,774 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 3 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,512 [WHOOPING] 4 00:00:54,656 --> 00:00:55,851 [FRY EXCLAIMS] 5 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:02,887 Hey? 6 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,797 [SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE] 7 00:01:32,994 --> 00:01:34,189 It has now been one month 8 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:38,199 since space ripped open like flimsy human skin. 9 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:41,327 Terrified earthlings are beginning to grow exhausted. 10 00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:43,502 [ALL SCREAMING] 11 00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:45,505 [YAWNING] 12 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,735 [ALL SCREAMING] 13 00:01:47,809 --> 00:01:51,143 Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain. 14 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:52,702 How scared should we be? 15 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,341 Somewhere between not at all and entirely. 16 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,078 I call entirely. 17 00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,347 [SCREAMING] 18 00:01:59,454 --> 00:02:00,819 [WHOOPING] 19 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:05,516 Scientists believe the rip is a gateway to another universe, 20 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:08,619 but do not know what mysteries lie beyond. 21 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,994 However, in this reporter's opinion 22 00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:13,898 gruesome death awaits us all! 23 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,932 [LAUGHING] 24 00:02:16,004 --> 00:02:19,201 And now with sports, here's Sportsbot 5000. 25 00:02:23,778 --> 00:02:25,507 All sports canceled. 26 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:32,086 To better understand the anomaly, 27 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:36,715 I will now focus its radiation on a giant medium-sized ant 28 00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:38,190 to see what happens. 29 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:41,024 What's going on here? I was told there would be sugar syrup. 30 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:42,529 Quiet, you. 31 00:02:49,871 --> 00:02:52,272 [SCREAMING] 32 00:02:56,077 --> 00:02:58,011 Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen. 33 00:02:58,079 --> 00:02:59,079 ALL: Hello! 34 00:02:59,147 --> 00:03:00,410 I like your shoes. 35 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,676 [LAUGHING] 36 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,046 This is awkward. 37 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:06,382 Introducing your new girlfriend to Chesty McNag-nag. 38 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,580 [LAUGHING] 39 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,589 Oh, don't mind him. I'll turn him off. 40 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,955 Hey, you can't turn me off... 41 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,089 Hi. I'm Leela. 42 00:03:14,162 --> 00:03:15,823 Hi, Leela, hi, everyone. 43 00:03:15,897 --> 00:03:18,366 Sorry I've been taking up so much of Fry's time. 44 00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:20,663 He's just so interesting. 45 00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:23,295 Have you seen how much cotton candy he can eat? 46 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:26,705 Oh, my, yes. 5.1 pounds. 47 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:29,937 That's why his blood is so good on pancakes. 48 00:03:30,011 --> 00:03:31,479 Well, got to skedoodle-oodle. 49 00:03:31,546 --> 00:03:34,846 We're taking a cuddle-cab to Hug-a-Bunny Village. 50 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:37,777 [RETCHING] 51 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,590 This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit 52 00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:47,185 from my saltwater and freshwater stomachs. 53 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,922 It is pretty sickening. 54 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,557 No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy. 55 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:56,035 Fry told me how he and Colleen first met. 56 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,846 So, how did you and Colleen first meet? 57 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,109 Well... 58 00:04:10,585 --> 00:04:12,713 Something about seeing it on the Jumbotron 59 00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:14,846 makes it so much more real. 60 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,617 It's so scary. 61 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,125 What are you supposed to do 62 00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:21,162 when the whole universe is coming to an end? 63 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:22,755 1 have a thought. 64 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,834 This is gonna be juicy. 65 00:04:28,903 --> 00:04:30,928 What? Oh, man! 66 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:33,269 Speaking of sappy love... 67 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,809 Want to tell them, Kiffy? 68 00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:38,039 Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement. 69 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,978 I... That is, we... 70 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,879 [STAMMERING] 71 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,713 Oh, I'm just so excited. 72 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,412 Kif has asked me to be his Fonfon Ru. 73 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,512 - Mazel tov! - Wonderful! 74 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,216 What the hell does that mean? 75 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:53,488 It means I've asked Amy to join my family. 76 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:58,624 And you're all invited to my family swamp for our Fonfon Rubok ceremony. 77 00:04:58,699 --> 00:04:59,962 If I had ever heard of it, 78 00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,628 it would have been what I had always dreamed of. 79 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:03,727 [EXCLAIMING] 80 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,466 And our parents will be meeting for the first time ever. 81 00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:10,944 [GASPING] That's even more awkward than Fry's two bimbos meeting each other. 82 00:05:11,012 --> 00:05:12,480 Count me in. 83 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,179 [TURNS BENDER OFF] 84 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,812 [BAGPIPES PLAYING] 85 00:05:53,988 --> 00:05:56,548 Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited 86 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:59,423 that we're all about to be joined in a single family? 87 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:00,517 You can't borrow money. 88 00:06:00,595 --> 00:06:01,619 [ANNOYED GRUNT] 89 00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:04,529 Kif's parents come late and we have to stand around in swamp 90 00:06:04,599 --> 00:06:07,091 getting eaten alive by damn bugs? 91 00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:08,658 Mrs. Wong, no. 92 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:13,833 The final stage of my species' life cycle is a colony of flying hookworms. 93 00:06:13,908 --> 00:06:16,502 You just squashed part of my father. 94 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,608 [BUZZING LOUDLY] 95 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,046 - Welcome. - Sorry. 96 00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:23,209 I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare though, huh? 97 00:06:23,284 --> 00:06:25,810 That was my left testicle. 98 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,878 And the awkward meter goes up another notch. 99 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,253 [IMITATING ALARM RINGING] 100 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:38,163 Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful in the light of the swamp gas. 101 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,428 Thanks. This is really fun. 102 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:43,766 I love going to exotic worlds and getting hammered. 103 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:44,862 Me, too. 104 00:06:44,939 --> 00:06:47,203 Two more Harvey Wallclimbers. 105 00:06:58,119 --> 00:07:01,646 Leela, I can't help but notice you're unescorted. 106 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:05,283 Might I escort you behind that bush for the next five minutes? 107 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,453 Nothing would revolt me more. 108 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,155 Then how about that shrub? 109 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,497 Ooh! Rubok is begun. 110 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,834 I am the grand priestess. 111 00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:25,007 Aren't you also the grand midwife? 112 00:07:25,079 --> 00:07:26,808 And the grand lunch lady. 113 00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:29,248 I work five jobs, all grand. 114 00:07:29,317 --> 00:07:31,649 Kif of the clan Kroker, 115 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:36,384 please trescend the Rubok Etlon with your Fonfon Smizmar Ru. 116 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:39,387 - What? - Get in the mud. 117 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:46,097 This mud is the petroleum from a billion generations of Kif's ancestors. 118 00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:51,298 As you become one with the ooze, so you become one with the clan Kroker. 119 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,004 [RUMBLING] 120 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,004 [ALL GASPING] 121 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:02,307 Oh, Kif, it's like a movie with this happening in it. 122 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,889 Is the best man present? 123 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,517 Guilty as charged. 124 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,561 Kindly hose the couple. 125 00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:27,465 As it was, so it is. You may now eat the snake. 126 00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,408 If you so choose. 127 00:08:30,478 --> 00:08:31,843 [BOTH EXCLAIM IN DISGUST] 128 00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,847 It's not part of the ceremony. I just had an extra snake. 129 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:38,545 Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet. 130 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,314 [ALL CLAMORING] 131 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,858 Are you going to eat that? 132 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,773 [BUZZING] 133 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,304 BENDER: Fry, run, run. Get over here, oh, my God, oh, my God! 134 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,382 What? What is it? 135 00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,010 Shut up already! Calculon's on TV! 136 00:09:12,086 --> 00:09:16,216 I beg you, Calculon, don't ring that door chime. 137 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:18,816 I have no choice, Monique. 138 00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:20,292 Whoever the blackmailer is, 139 00:09:20,361 --> 00:09:25,265 he lives behind this hideous yet strangely familiar door. 140 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:30,736 Calculon residence. Oh, hello, Mr. Calculon. 141 00:09:30,805 --> 00:09:34,036 Son of a bit. This is my house. 142 00:09:34,108 --> 00:09:37,976 But that means I'm blackmailing myself. 143 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,706 Why didn't you tell me, Monique? 144 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,771 I tried to, but I couldn't. 145 00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:45,149 Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid you have a fourth personality 146 00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:48,712 the other three don't know about, and it and I 147 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,279 are lovers! 148 00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:52,325 [GASPS] 149 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,088 How's Calculon going to take this, Fry, 150 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:58,996 especially after that humiliating tennis tournament? 151 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,591 - Fry? - Don't know, Bender. 152 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,035 Tonight's my big date with Colleen. I got to run. 153 00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:05,505 But me and you like to watch together. 154 00:10:05,573 --> 00:10:10,534 Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on. Humans like cabbage, right? 155 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,790 Step right up to the 2D Tunnel of Love. 156 00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:31,295 Not one, not three, but two glorious dimensions 157 00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:32,924 for the price of a single ticket. 158 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:37,066 Keep your hands in the car, shut up, and have fun. 159 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,268 Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D. 160 00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,402 I do? 161 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:47,106 But from your perspective, I'm just a line segment. 162 00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:49,149 FRY: A really hot line segment. 163 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,809 So, listen, sweetie pie, 164 00:10:50,885 --> 00:10:53,877 I was thinking maybe we should take this to the next step. 165 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:54,978 Really? 166 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,819 Yes. Colleen... 167 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,989 ...will you be moved in with by me? 168 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,065 [COLLEEN GASPS SOFTLY] 169 00:11:06,467 --> 00:11:07,901 - Way to go. - Hooray, hooray. 170 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,062 - That's great. - You're moving in with her? 171 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:11,866 Why can't she move in with us? 172 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:14,101 I could just curl up at the foot of the bed. 173 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,573 [WHIMPERING] 174 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,444 Listen up, everyone. 175 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:21,914 I know you've all been extremely worried about the cosmic anomaly. 176 00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,541 The what? Oh, right. 177 00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:25,176 But there's good news. 178 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:29,780 We're all going to learn more about it at a scientific conference. 179 00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:31,924 [ALL SCREAMING] 180 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,765 MAN: ...like a city made of marshmallow. 181 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:52,042 Welcome. I am the pickled head of Stephen Hawking on a way-cool rocket. 182 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,580 Black hole Hawking? 183 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:56,241 Wow, if I knew I was going to meet you, 184 00:11:56,317 --> 00:11:58,615 I would have done something with my hair. 185 00:11:58,686 --> 00:12:00,154 You should have. 186 00:12:00,354 --> 00:12:04,450 In conclusion, I understand nothing about the anomaly, 187 00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:09,224 even after cashing the huge check I got for writing a book about it. 188 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,334 I know this anomaly is terrifying. 189 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:18,838 But as scientists, is it not our sworn duty to seek out knowledge, 190 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,500 even at the cost of our very lives? 191 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,599 No. 192 00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:26,943 I say we must mount an expedition to the anomaly forthwith. 193 00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,573 I agree. 194 00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:30,139 Wernstrom! 195 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:34,154 Professor Farnsworth is correct. Only a manned mission can... 196 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,382 [YELPS] 197 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,619 Don't listen to that crackpot! 198 00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:39,989 But I'm agreeing with you. 199 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,325 I'll make you eat those words, you moron! 200 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,222 [WERNSTROM EXCLAIMS] 201 00:12:45,299 --> 00:12:47,597 I volunteer to lead the expedition. 202 00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:49,045 1 have a squad of graduate students 203 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,214 eager to risk their lives for a letter of recommendation. 204 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,399 [STUDENTS CLAMORING] 205 00:12:52,473 --> 00:12:54,567 Your squad sucks bosons! 206 00:12:54,642 --> 00:12:59,011 My team is twice as qualified and three times as expendable. 207 00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,376 - Yeah! - Yeah! 208 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,974 Oh, tough talk for someone with only one Fields Medal. 209 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,482 ALL: Ooh! 210 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:07,611 Ooh! 211 00:13:07,688 --> 00:13:09,782 Wernstrom, I ought to... 212 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,086 [BOTH GROANING] 213 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,658 I didn't know I could do that. 214 00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:19,688 Now quiet down and settle this like men of science. 215 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:20,962 Very well. 216 00:13:22,036 --> 00:13:24,630 FARNSWORTH: Let Deathball begin! 217 00:13:32,713 --> 00:13:33,942 [PANTING] 218 00:13:46,627 --> 00:13:48,061 [ALL EXCLAIMING] 219 00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:54,324 - Go, Planet Express! - Go even more, my team! 220 00:13:54,535 --> 00:13:56,060 [ALL CHEERING] 221 00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,003 [ALL CHEERING] 222 00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:06,235 Leela, header! 223 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,071 Ow! 224 00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:24,821 [WHOOPING] 225 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,366 Bust those balls! 226 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:29,736 [EXCLAIMING] 227 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,834 Hooray! We're equally good! 228 00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:39,075 [ALL GRUNTING] 229 00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:44,050 Come on, Bender! Your grandmother could push harder than that! 230 00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:47,053 No crap. My grandmother was a bulldozer. 231 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,552 [ALL EXCLAIMING] 232 00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:52,651 [ALL GROANING] 233 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,019 [WHIMPERS] 234 00:14:58,766 --> 00:14:59,961 [LAUGHING EVILLY] 235 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:02,969 [YELPS] 236 00:15:04,705 --> 00:15:05,831 [SCREAMING] 237 00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:07,966 [YELPS] 238 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,035 [REFEREE BLOWING WHISTLE] 239 00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:14,242 [ALL CHEERING] 240 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:18,748 And thus metal man defeated meat man. The end. 241 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,717 Come here, winner! 242 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,120 Come here, loser! 243 00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:31,721 Colleen, what are you doing? My face is over here. 244 00:15:31,799 --> 00:15:33,893 This is my boyfriend, silly! 245 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,868 - I thought I was your boyfriend. - You are. 246 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:40,874 - Well, how can you have two boyfriends? - Oh, I don't. I have five. 247 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,275 Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo. 248 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,539 - Greetings. - Pleasure. 249 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,704 But... But... 250 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,942 Shlomo and Ndulu will help you move your stuff 251 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:50,677 into my apartment tonight. 252 00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:53,345 Welcome to the relationship, buddy! 253 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,388 Hmm? 254 00:15:56,757 --> 00:15:58,851 There's my butterscotch. 255 00:16:04,198 --> 00:16:06,530 Congratulations, deathballers! 256 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,535 We've won the right to explore the anomaly! 257 00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:12,629 What? I thought I was playing for my freedom! 258 00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:13,798 No. 259 00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:18,441 Now, I've often said "good news" 260 00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:21,777 when sending you on a mission of extreme danger. 261 00:16:21,849 --> 00:16:24,284 So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, 262 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,753 you can imagine how dangerous I really think it is. 263 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,118 Not dangerous at all? 264 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:33,490 - Actually, quite dangerous indeed. - That is quite dangerous! 265 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,291 Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying! 266 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:40,322 Prep the ship and line up for your preflight coffee enemas! 267 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,927 Warning. The enema you are about to enjoy is extremely hot. 268 00:16:47,608 --> 00:16:48,905 I don't know what to do, Leela. 269 00:16:48,976 --> 00:16:51,911 Should I move in with Colleen and her four other boyfriends? 270 00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:55,074 What are you going to do? Sleep in a big pile like hamsters? 271 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,946 No! It's not like that. 272 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,850 Everyone gets his own room and a shelf in the refrigerator. 273 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,354 Take the deal, Fry! 274 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,718 If there's a delicious cake, 275 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,781 isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? 276 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,624 Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, 277 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:12,791 and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake? 278 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,994 Only one thing matters, Fry. 279 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:18,902 Do you really love Colleen, like I love my little squeezle? 280 00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:20,701 [CHUCKLING] 281 00:17:21,275 --> 00:17:23,505 Yeah. I do love her. 282 00:17:23,577 --> 00:17:25,739 Then things will work out. 283 00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,073 Whoa! 284 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,413 Double espresso for Philip Fry? 285 00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:35,012 Sorry, I'm not going on the mission. I'm moving in with Colleen! 286 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,783 - Good for you, Fry. - Oh, Fry! 287 00:17:36,857 --> 00:17:38,985 I'll just take that to go. 288 00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:55,975 [GRUNTS] 289 00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:02,981 [MUTTERING] 290 00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:06,615 [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING] 291 00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,051 [EXCLAIMS HAPPILY] 292 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:14,424 - Welcome to your new home! - Thanks, Colleen. 293 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:19,432 And listen, I'm sorry I got jealous before. I'm just happy to be here with you. 294 00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:22,198 Want a slice of delicious cake? 295 00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:32,779 BENDER [GASPING]: The anomaly! 296 00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:35,781 It's so anomalous. 297 00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:38,819 I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads! 298 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:40,353 Wernstrom! 299 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:44,015 Yes, and I'm afraid I have disturbing news about the anomaly. 300 00:18:44,091 --> 00:18:46,116 - You see... - How did you get this number? 301 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:49,493 Hermes, hang up on him in the rudest possible manner. 302 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:50,928 Yes, sir! 303 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,491 No, not the crack slam! 304 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,337 Oh, my life rocks. 305 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:10,611 I've got good wine, five sweethearts, 306 00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:15,281 and today, I was promoted to Chief of Police. 307 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,754 Here's to you. 308 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,416 - Me? - No, Colleen. 309 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:21,291 - I'm making a romantic toast. - Sorry. 310 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,420 You have the most beautiful eyes I think I... 311 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,693 - Thank you. - I'm not talking to you! 312 00:19:25,766 --> 00:19:27,530 Then I am not talking to you, either. 313 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:28,932 Will everyone be quiet a little? 314 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,369 - I want to hear what he has to say! - Thank you. 315 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,202 Not you, you Verstinkener. 316 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:36,004 You're just here 'cause she likes cave men from the stupid ages. 317 00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:37,475 Oh, look who's talking. 318 00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,569 You're just here 'cause she got matzoh fever. 319 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:42,377 So, what's the explanation for you, moron fever? 320 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,507 [LAUGHING] 321 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,312 Enough! All of you! 322 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,614 I love you. 323 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,712 Most people in this world don't have what we have. 324 00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:52,122 Let's just be grateful, okay? 325 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,490 - Yeah. - Yeah, you're right. 326 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,929 So, Colleen, you look really nice. 327 00:19:57,998 --> 00:19:59,830 Oh, thanks. I got dressed up for my date. 328 00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:00,992 [CAR HORN HONKING] 329 00:20:01,068 --> 00:20:03,298 There he is. Don't wait up! 330 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:08,669 That's it. I thought I was okay with this, but I'm not. 331 00:20:08,742 --> 00:20:10,836 I'm breaking up with you! 332 00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:17,140 Me? 333 00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,383 [ALL EXCLAIMING IN FEAR] 334 00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,952 [WHIMPERING] 335 00:20:29,463 --> 00:20:31,932 [STAMMERING] Why are we risking our lives? 336 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,558 Can't we just send in a robotic drone? 337 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,768 What's everybody looking at me for? 338 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,574 "Let's send a robot to explore it. 339 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,043 'Cause you can always buy another one for 20 bucks." 340 00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:46,112 Really? 341 00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:49,410 Well, it's 30 bucks, and there's a $10-mail-in rebate. 342 00:20:49,483 --> 00:20:53,147 When the League of Robots hears about this, they won't be pleased. 343 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:55,416 Oh, you'll pay, my darlings. 344 00:20:55,489 --> 00:20:58,515 The League of Robots doesn't exist, tin Mon. 345 00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,560 It's just a cartoon for babies. 346 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:01,685 Oh, yeah? 347 00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:05,130 Then how come when I was a kid, 1 had a whole sticker book of them? 348 00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:07,098 Answer that with your precious logic. 349 00:21:23,517 --> 00:21:24,951 Bender to crew. 350 00:21:25,018 --> 00:21:28,010 I have reached the gateway to another universe. 351 00:21:28,088 --> 00:21:30,819 I feel awed and strangely humbled 352 00:21:30,891 --> 00:21:33,861 by the momentous solemnity of this occasion. 353 00:21:35,195 --> 00:21:38,256 Hey, other universe, bite my shiny metal... 354 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,696 [BENDER SCREAMING] 355 00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,700 [CREW SCREAMING] 356 00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:44,263 [BENDER SOBBING] 357 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:55,207 I can't remember anything except a blinding light and a searing ass pain. 358 00:21:55,282 --> 00:21:57,512 I better check my black box. 359 00:21:58,218 --> 00:22:00,312 BENDER: The light! It's blinding! 360 00:22:00,387 --> 00:22:03,084 And the ass pain! It's searing! 361 00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:04,555 So that's what happened. 362 00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:07,958 Hey, Bender! Look who's here to cheer you up. 363 00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,224 I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly... 364 00:22:10,297 --> 00:22:12,493 Greetings, sick fan. 365 00:22:12,566 --> 00:22:15,558 [GASPS] TV's Calculon! 366 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:16,931 [COUGHING] 367 00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:22,902 You poor, mangled husk of what was once a robot! 368 00:22:22,976 --> 00:22:27,243 What right hath fate to pluck a sweet, dimple-cheeked mechanism 369 00:22:27,314 --> 00:22:30,841 in the flower of his youth? And... 370 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:32,112 Scene! 371 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,381 There, that was some free acting for you. 372 00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,922 Ordinarily, to see acting like that, 373 00:22:35,989 --> 00:22:37,821 you'd have to sit through a tampon commercial. 374 00:22:37,891 --> 00:22:39,950 That fulfills my community service, right? 375 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:44,293 Charges of running me over are hereby dismissed! 376 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:46,756 Ow! 377 00:22:47,234 --> 00:22:49,396 [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING] 378 00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:57,773 Where did we go wrong, Fry? We were meant to be together! 379 00:22:58,011 --> 00:22:59,240 [SOBBING] 380 00:22:59,312 --> 00:23:01,804 Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here. 381 00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:03,646 Just a sec, honey! 382 00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:04,843 [SIGHS] 383 00:23:40,053 --> 00:23:41,543 I'm back, idiots! 384 00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:42,816 [ALL CHEERING] 385 00:23:42,889 --> 00:23:44,857 You look wonderful, robot! 386 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:49,293 I wish I could afford to go to a hospital. I'm dreadfully sick. 387 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:52,288 [LAUGHING] 388 00:23:52,365 --> 00:23:56,927 I feel great, and I owe it all to Calculon. His visit really inspired me. 389 00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:59,438 I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. 390 00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:02,908 You want to costar in his TV show? Like that time you already did that? 391 00:24:02,976 --> 00:24:05,445 No. I'm gonna be a stalker! 392 00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:08,573 That's not really a career. More of a felony. 393 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:10,707 Man, I'm gonna stalk his brains out. 394 00:24:10,784 --> 00:24:13,219 Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fansite! 395 00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:16,187 There's a flash mob headed for his plastic surgeon's office! 396 00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:22,154 There, that's as big as I can make it. 397 00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:25,323 But I caution you, it looks completely unrealistic. 398 00:24:25,398 --> 00:24:28,834 You let me worry about that! Just do your job. 399 00:24:28,902 --> 00:24:31,462 Very well. Will you be using your SAG insurance? 400 00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:34,200 No, cash. I'd like to be discreet. 401 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:36,242 [ALL CLAMORING] 402 00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:37,572 Dear God, no! 403 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:38,873 - Neat! - Get a shot of that. 404 00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:41,073 Oh boy, oh boy, he's here. 405 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:44,173 Calculon, I love you! Have my baby! 406 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:45,945 CALCULON: Back, you lunatic! 407 00:24:46,686 --> 00:24:48,245 He touched me! 408 00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:49,811 Sign my ass! 409 00:24:50,957 --> 00:24:53,051 [BENDER GROANING] 410 00:24:57,998 --> 00:25:00,023 [FARNSWORTH SNIFFING] 411 00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:05,934 FARNSWORTH: Emergency! Emergency! Everyone to the calamitorium! 412 00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:07,568 [ZOIDBERG WHOOPING] 413 00:25:08,274 --> 00:25:11,073 - Leela, smell this. - Can I wipe it off first? 414 00:25:11,144 --> 00:25:13,636 No time, woman! No time! 415 00:25:14,314 --> 00:25:15,645 [SNIFFING] 416 00:25:15,715 --> 00:25:18,013 - Hmm. Smells like angel dust. - Exactly! 417 00:25:18,118 --> 00:25:20,985 That's a discontinuous electromagnetic field. 418 00:25:21,054 --> 00:25:25,252 Wernstrom tried to warn me, but I was too damn stubborn! 419 00:25:25,325 --> 00:25:28,989 Hermes, get Wernstrom on the line so I can apologize. 420 00:25:36,302 --> 00:25:37,736 Ogden Wernstrom speaking. 421 00:25:37,804 --> 00:25:39,081 [WHISPERING] Tell him I'm not here! 422 00:25:39,105 --> 00:25:42,006 - Professor! - Oh, very well. 423 00:25:42,075 --> 00:25:45,534 Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool! 424 00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:48,479 If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, 425 00:25:48,548 --> 00:25:50,209 your tiny little heart, 426 00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:53,583 would you consider a scientific collaboration? 427 00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:56,054 Sir, I'd be honored. 428 00:26:00,093 --> 00:26:01,527 As I attempted to warn you, 429 00:26:01,594 --> 00:26:05,690 the laws of electromagnetism change abruptly at the anomaly. 430 00:26:05,765 --> 00:26:06,789 Observe. 431 00:26:06,866 --> 00:26:08,732 Play time is fun time. 432 00:26:08,802 --> 00:26:10,429 Not this time. 433 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:13,200 My heavens! 434 00:26:13,273 --> 00:26:15,139 If only I'd heeded your warning, 435 00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:18,007 I'd have known it was impossible to cross the barrier! 436 00:26:18,111 --> 00:26:23,311 But note what happens when I instead throw this laboratory koala. 437 00:26:23,383 --> 00:26:24,578 [CHITTERING] 438 00:26:26,186 --> 00:26:28,382 FARNSWORTH: It passed through unharmed. 439 00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:31,921 So living beings can enter the other universe, 440 00:26:31,991 --> 00:26:34,050 but electrical devices can't? 441 00:26:34,127 --> 00:26:35,993 My hypothesis exactly. 442 00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:39,657 Then we must mount a second expedition without delay. 443 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:42,292 - Right after we blow up more robots. - Agreed. 444 00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:44,297 [ROBOTS SCREAMING] 445 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:46,102 [GIGGLING] 446 00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:48,163 Play time is fun time. 447 00:26:50,343 --> 00:26:51,640 [YAWNS] 448 00:26:55,482 --> 00:26:58,247 - Who are you? - Bender, your biggest fan. 449 00:26:58,318 --> 00:27:00,514 Are you going to murder me? 450 00:27:00,587 --> 00:27:03,147 Unlikely. In my mind, we're friends. 451 00:27:03,223 --> 00:27:05,055 This diorama proves it, see? 452 00:27:06,226 --> 00:27:11,665 Sir, your derangement is impressive. I'm appointing you my official stalker. 453 00:27:11,731 --> 00:27:13,825 You shan't be disappointed. 454 00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:15,595 Pleasant dreams. 455 00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:30,147 Now that I've teamed up with my friend, Dr. Wernstrom, 456 00:27:30,216 --> 00:27:34,175 I feel certain we can successfully penetrate the other universe. 457 00:27:34,254 --> 00:27:36,154 It's the greatest scientific opportunity 458 00:27:36,222 --> 00:27:39,624 since you yourself sent men to the moon in 1969. 459 00:27:39,692 --> 00:27:41,023 I always regretted that. 460 00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:45,230 Nothing up there but dry rocks and those revolting onion men. 461 00:27:45,298 --> 00:27:46,390 But... 462 00:27:46,466 --> 00:27:49,925 You East Coast intellectuals had your chance. Now beat it! 463 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:52,870 From here on in, this is a military matter. 464 00:27:57,644 --> 00:27:59,112 People of the universe, 465 00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:03,172 please welcome Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan. 466 00:28:03,249 --> 00:28:04,614 [ALL CHEERING] 467 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:10,547 Thank you, thank you. Well deserved. 468 00:28:10,623 --> 00:28:13,115 Kif, stand in that hole so I look taller. 469 00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,250 [SIGHS] 470 00:28:15,128 --> 00:28:17,563 Ever since man first left his cave 471 00:28:17,630 --> 00:28:19,598 and met a stranger with a different language 472 00:28:19,666 --> 00:28:21,634 and a new way of looking at things, 473 00:28:21,701 --> 00:28:23,965 the human race has had a dream. 474 00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:26,037 To kill him, so we don't have to learn his language 475 00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:27,698 or his new way of looking at things. 476 00:28:27,774 --> 00:28:29,242 [ALL CHEERING] 477 00:28:29,642 --> 00:28:31,440 [BOTH BOOING] 478 00:28:31,511 --> 00:28:33,104 Give science a chance! 479 00:28:33,179 --> 00:28:36,114 Less invasions, more equations! 480 00:28:36,182 --> 00:28:37,650 Damn long-hairs. 481 00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:40,243 Knock some sense into them, Chief O'Hallahan. 482 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:41,845 Yes, sir! 483 00:28:41,921 --> 00:28:43,650 [BOTH GROANING] 484 00:28:47,727 --> 00:28:49,388 [DISTORTED] 485 00:28:54,434 --> 00:28:55,458 [SOBS] 486 00:28:55,535 --> 00:28:57,333 I can't take it, Leela. 487 00:28:57,403 --> 00:29:01,306 I need to go away. Far away, forever. 488 00:29:01,574 --> 00:29:04,043 Aw, I know how you feel, Fry. 489 00:29:04,110 --> 00:29:07,273 There are times when I also feel like you need to go away. 490 00:29:11,551 --> 00:29:14,782 Be careful, my little, teeny, greeny weenie. 491 00:29:14,854 --> 00:29:18,449 That's just a fungal infection... Oh, she's talking to you, Kif. 492 00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:20,185 Goodbye, my love. 493 00:29:35,742 --> 00:29:38,939 Wow, how come humans get to do all the fun stuff? 494 00:29:39,012 --> 00:29:42,243 This is exactly the sort of thing that ought to be handled by 495 00:29:42,315 --> 00:29:44,283 [WHISPERING] The League of Robots. 496 00:29:44,350 --> 00:29:46,512 [LAUGHING] 497 00:29:46,586 --> 00:29:48,418 That's adorable, Bender. 498 00:29:48,488 --> 00:29:51,423 You actually believe in the League of Robots? 499 00:29:51,491 --> 00:29:54,461 You mean, there's really no such thing? 500 00:29:54,527 --> 00:29:56,325 Then who's there to mete out justice 501 00:29:56,396 --> 00:29:59,525 when an outdated robot is melted into belt buckles? 502 00:29:59,599 --> 00:30:01,089 Who's there to defend our honor 503 00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:05,104 when a rude human brings a blush to a robo-virgin's cheek? 504 00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,502 No one. 505 00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:07,630 Oh. 506 00:30:14,247 --> 00:30:15,715 [GROANING] 507 00:30:29,262 --> 00:30:31,731 BENDER: Now that I know robots are worthless, 508 00:30:31,798 --> 00:30:35,894 with no League of Robots to protect us from the fleshy menace known as man, 509 00:30:35,968 --> 00:30:38,528 I have resolved to kill myself. 510 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:43,064 In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves in the face with rusty chains. 511 00:30:43,142 --> 00:30:45,110 Your friend, Bender. 512 00:30:48,848 --> 00:30:49,848 Ow. 513 00:31:03,396 --> 00:31:05,262 ELECTRONIC VOICE: Please select mode of death. 514 00:31:05,331 --> 00:31:07,095 Clumsy bludgeoning, please. 515 00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:09,999 You have selected clumsy bludgeoning. 516 00:31:10,069 --> 00:31:11,628 For an additional $10, 517 00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:14,537 would you like your eyes scooped out with a melon-baller? 518 00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:16,097 What the heck, I'll treat myself. 519 00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:39,932 Enemy in range. 520 00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:43,128 Prepare to launch universe-to-universe missile. 521 00:31:43,202 --> 00:31:45,193 Preparing to launch U.U.M. 522 00:31:52,044 --> 00:31:53,375 [ALARM BLARING] 523 00:31:54,013 --> 00:31:55,174 [SHOUTING] 524 00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:02,752 Hell of a thing to send a universe to certain doom. 525 00:32:02,822 --> 00:32:05,723 Fun, though. Makes a man feel big. 526 00:32:08,895 --> 00:32:12,388 Come on, come on, I didn't ask to die of boredom! 527 00:32:12,465 --> 00:32:13,728 [SHOUTS] 528 00:32:17,804 --> 00:32:20,739 ELECTRONIC VOICE: You are now dead. Please take your receipt. 529 00:32:24,510 --> 00:32:26,205 [BENDER GROANING] 530 00:32:29,215 --> 00:32:31,445 BENDER: What's... What's happening? 531 00:32:33,719 --> 00:32:35,209 Kneel before the candle. 532 00:32:35,288 --> 00:32:37,382 Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone! 533 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,652 Bender Bending Rodriguez... 534 00:32:39,725 --> 00:32:40,851 [WHIMPERS] 535 00:32:41,961 --> 00:32:44,328 Welcome to the League of Robots! 536 00:32:44,864 --> 00:32:46,161 [GASPS] 537 00:33:04,617 --> 00:33:05,880 Ready? 538 00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:09,216 And... 539 00:33:11,591 --> 00:33:12,591 [TAUNTINGLY] F... 540 00:33:14,627 --> 00:33:15,719 [LAUGHS] 541 00:33:16,162 --> 00:33:17,527 Almost fooled you there. 542 00:33:17,597 --> 00:33:18,621 [SIGHS] 543 00:33:18,698 --> 00:33:19,927 Fire! 544 00:33:20,366 --> 00:33:21,458 [LAUNCHER JAMMING] 545 00:33:21,534 --> 00:33:22,558 [ALARM BLARING] 546 00:33:22,635 --> 00:33:25,366 FEMALE VOICE: Missile jam. Missile jam. 547 00:33:25,438 --> 00:33:28,237 - I heard you the first time, Francine. - Sorry. 548 00:33:28,307 --> 00:33:31,333 Kif, climb down there and un-jam it, would you? Be a dear. 549 00:33:31,410 --> 00:33:32,468 [SIGHS] 550 00:33:32,545 --> 00:33:34,639 And stop sighing so much. 551 00:33:34,714 --> 00:33:35,772 [SIGHS] 552 00:33:39,118 --> 00:33:40,381 Tell us, Bender. 553 00:33:40,453 --> 00:33:42,922 Are you worthy of membership in the League? 554 00:33:42,989 --> 00:33:45,185 Worthier than the average robot. 555 00:33:45,258 --> 00:33:46,851 Then prove it. 556 00:33:49,929 --> 00:33:51,954 Upon each step is a test. 557 00:33:52,031 --> 00:33:55,729 Okay, but if it's culturally biased, I'm suing your ass. 558 00:33:55,801 --> 00:33:59,863 Test number one. The test of the beer mug! 559 00:33:59,939 --> 00:34:01,100 Quite right, quite so. 560 00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:04,404 ALL: Drink the mug! Drink the mug! 561 00:34:04,477 --> 00:34:06,468 I accept your challenge. 562 00:34:09,849 --> 00:34:11,180 ALL: Hurray! 563 00:34:12,952 --> 00:34:15,046 The test of the flagon! 564 00:34:15,121 --> 00:34:18,455 ALL: Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon! 565 00:34:18,524 --> 00:34:21,459 Are all the tests going to involve drinking? 566 00:34:21,527 --> 00:34:23,962 It never occurred to me before, but yes. 567 00:34:24,030 --> 00:34:26,362 [WHOOPS] Just like med school! 568 00:34:27,266 --> 00:34:29,064 [ALL CHEERING] 569 00:34:30,636 --> 00:34:31,933 Ready yet, Kif? 570 00:34:32,004 --> 00:34:34,063 Just give me one more. 571 00:34:38,010 --> 00:34:39,239 Oh, no. 572 00:34:40,046 --> 00:34:41,411 [GROANING] 573 00:34:52,458 --> 00:34:57,191 The test of the infinitely priceless 1,000-year-old brandy. 574 00:35:04,737 --> 00:35:05,737 [BELCHES] 575 00:35:07,340 --> 00:35:10,275 Presenting our newest member. 576 00:35:10,343 --> 00:35:12,107 [ALL CHEERING] 577 00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:13,202 That's right, baby! 578 00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:15,247 Hot diggity daffodil! 579 00:35:23,556 --> 00:35:27,186 And so, to everyone and everything I've ever known, 580 00:35:27,259 --> 00:35:29,489 I say my last goodbye. 581 00:35:30,463 --> 00:35:31,862 Hello. 582 00:35:31,931 --> 00:35:34,400 So, how are you, Fry? 583 00:35:34,467 --> 00:35:37,402 - Pretty good. You? - Well... Oh. 584 00:35:45,144 --> 00:35:46,543 [GROANING] 585 00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:50,045 [HUMMING] 586 00:35:55,221 --> 00:35:56,484 Mmm. 587 00:35:56,555 --> 00:35:59,820 Kif, get over here. You've got to try this! 588 00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:04,688 [SOBBING] 589 00:36:04,764 --> 00:36:07,028 At least Kiffy died quickly. 590 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:10,803 Yes, but according to the Old Farmer's Wikipedia, 591 00:36:10,870 --> 00:36:12,804 the amazing thing about Kif's species 592 00:36:12,872 --> 00:36:16,866 is that the remains continue suffering for up to six hours after death. 593 00:36:18,577 --> 00:36:20,545 That's so interesting! 594 00:36:22,314 --> 00:36:24,442 Don't ask where I was last night. 595 00:36:24,517 --> 00:36:28,454 For all you know, I was at home, perhaps baking a strudel. 596 00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:32,152 What's her problem? Somebody die or something? 597 00:36:32,224 --> 00:36:34,556 - Kif's dead, Bender. - Nailed it! 598 00:36:45,438 --> 00:36:47,406 My condolences, Amy. 599 00:36:47,473 --> 00:36:51,876 Allow me to present you with the last known photo of Lieutenant Kroker. 600 00:36:53,946 --> 00:36:58,440 We so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Kroker. Terrible shame about Froggy. 601 00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:01,646 Thank you for your kind words. 602 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,313 Yeah, yeah, real sad. 603 00:37:03,389 --> 00:37:06,984 Want some breath spray? Cinnamon flavor, taste like pie. 604 00:37:07,059 --> 00:37:08,424 [BOTH COUGHING] 605 00:37:10,863 --> 00:37:13,798 This is from the league of you-don't-need-to-know. 606 00:37:13,866 --> 00:37:15,061 [YELPS] 607 00:37:16,235 --> 00:37:19,671 I am the grand funeral director! 608 00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:21,638 Do you validate parking? 609 00:37:21,707 --> 00:37:26,406 It is always a terrible tragedy when a swarm outlives its own bulboid. 610 00:37:26,479 --> 00:37:28,106 So it is with great sorrow 611 00:37:28,180 --> 00:37:31,377 that I now commit the goo that was once Kif 612 00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:33,976 to the petroleum of his ancestors. 613 00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:40,154 Whack the bottle! 614 00:37:41,327 --> 00:37:44,126 No, from the bottom! It works better! 615 00:37:44,396 --> 00:37:45,625 [SOBBING] 616 00:37:45,698 --> 00:37:48,190 Just stick a butter knife in it! 617 00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:55,434 There, I got most of it. The burial is complete. 618 00:37:57,176 --> 00:37:59,372 1 will now sing the sacred hymn. 619 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:03,678 It's not part of the ceremony, just a little something that I wrote. 620 00:38:03,749 --> 00:38:06,343 [SINGING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE] 621 00:38:10,456 --> 00:38:11,514 Next! 622 00:38:14,260 --> 00:38:16,524 It may sound strange, 623 00:38:16,595 --> 00:38:21,396 but seeing Kif's mutilated remains poured into the mud made me really sad. 624 00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:23,526 Mutilation is never easy. 625 00:38:23,602 --> 00:38:28,472 - [CRYING] I don't think I'll ever love again. - Oh, you don't mean that. 626 00:38:28,541 --> 00:38:31,476 Love can surprise you at any time in your life. 627 00:38:31,544 --> 00:38:32,978 Surprise! 628 00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:35,513 [GROANS] 629 00:38:39,418 --> 00:38:42,217 Whoa, it kind of takes your breath away. 630 00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:56,230 Look alive, death row. Your saggy asses got a visitor. 631 00:38:56,302 --> 00:39:00,330 - Regular or conjugal? - She looked like a freak to me. 632 00:39:00,806 --> 00:39:02,331 The guard operating the x-ray machine 633 00:39:02,408 --> 00:39:04,968 came down with a sudden case of broken neck, 634 00:39:05,044 --> 00:39:08,742 so I was able to bring you that delicious cake you wanted. 635 00:39:10,216 --> 00:39:13,948 I don't understand. Are you winking or blinking? 636 00:39:14,186 --> 00:39:15,210 [SIGHS] 637 00:39:15,287 --> 00:39:16,982 Hang on a second. 638 00:39:18,057 --> 00:39:19,149 Got it! 639 00:39:27,333 --> 00:39:30,928 Yes, I'm here to repair my horse. 640 00:39:31,003 --> 00:39:34,200 Is the horse's name Hot Beans? 641 00:39:34,273 --> 00:39:36,241 No. I mean, yes. 642 00:39:37,076 --> 00:39:38,076 [BENDER EXCLAIMS] 643 00:39:42,481 --> 00:39:46,509 So it seems a human had been rather injured by a knife, and as his... 644 00:39:46,585 --> 00:39:50,146 As his blood, you know, I think that's what they call it... 645 00:39:50,222 --> 00:39:52,884 Quite correct, sir. Blather on! 646 00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:56,986 As it drained away, he said... He said, "Take me to a dock." 647 00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:59,724 No doubt he intended to say "doctor," 648 00:39:59,798 --> 00:40:03,962 but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being as he had died. 649 00:40:04,036 --> 00:40:05,435 So, taking him at his word, 650 00:40:05,504 --> 00:40:09,634 we dragged his corpse to the waterfront, whereupon the seagulls fed upon it. 651 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:11,642 [ALL LAUGHING] 652 00:40:11,710 --> 00:40:14,736 - Humans are dumb and they die easy! - Quite! 653 00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:17,942 Speaking of humans, have I shown you my new monocle? 654 00:40:18,017 --> 00:40:21,510 Cost me a king's ransom. Made from a king, don't you know! 655 00:40:21,587 --> 00:40:24,557 Oh, how repulsively decadent! 656 00:40:24,623 --> 00:40:26,819 Yes. But more importantly, 657 00:40:26,892 --> 00:40:29,987 it allows me to see the smiling faces of my children 658 00:40:30,062 --> 00:40:33,999 for the first time since I lost my vision in that horrible banking accident. 659 00:40:34,066 --> 00:40:36,262 May I see that for a second? 660 00:40:37,269 --> 00:40:39,465 My, but that's interesting! 661 00:40:40,172 --> 00:40:41,662 [GRUNTING] 662 00:40:42,241 --> 00:40:44,141 - I say! - I'm blind! 663 00:40:44,209 --> 00:40:45,643 My God, Bender! 664 00:40:45,711 --> 00:40:48,703 This is a civilized organization! The rules specifically... 665 00:40:48,781 --> 00:40:51,648 May I make a point of order, President Calculon? 666 00:40:51,717 --> 00:40:53,708 - Must you? - Yes. 667 00:40:53,786 --> 00:40:55,185 The bylaws specifically state 668 00:40:55,254 --> 00:40:58,383 that no human may set foot in the League of Robots! 669 00:40:58,457 --> 00:41:01,483 If he has a human part, he's part human! 670 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:05,497 Oh, my! Then I too have a human part I must expel. 671 00:41:05,564 --> 00:41:08,158 And I plan to enjoy the experience. 672 00:41:08,233 --> 00:41:09,325 Ta-ta! 673 00:41:09,401 --> 00:41:14,202 Bender, you've rigidly applied the law with no regard for its intent. 674 00:41:14,273 --> 00:41:17,368 Well done! You'll go far in this organization. 675 00:41:17,443 --> 00:41:20,242 Oh, you're just gettin' to know Bender. 676 00:41:39,565 --> 00:41:40,691 [SNIFFING] 677 00:41:41,734 --> 00:41:42,826 Curses! 678 00:41:42,901 --> 00:41:44,145 If we could only turn up the gain, 679 00:41:44,169 --> 00:41:46,365 we might smell clear through to the other universe! 680 00:41:46,438 --> 00:41:49,499 But we can't adjust it without a screwdriver. 681 00:41:49,575 --> 00:41:50,701 Wait a moment. 682 00:41:50,776 --> 00:41:53,939 I think I was just shanked with a screwdriver! 683 00:41:54,113 --> 00:41:55,842 [GROANING] 684 00:41:55,914 --> 00:41:57,109 Yes! 685 00:41:58,450 --> 00:42:01,249 A little more. A little less. 686 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,755 Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this! 687 00:42:05,457 --> 00:42:07,482 Holy mother of invention! 688 00:42:07,559 --> 00:42:11,325 - We must notify the President at once! - But how can we? 689 00:42:11,397 --> 00:42:15,265 Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish we weren't in prison! 690 00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:16,796 [CREATURE CAWING] 691 00:42:17,736 --> 00:42:19,636 Pazuzu! 692 00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:23,232 You have one wish left, Professor. 693 00:42:23,575 --> 00:42:25,043 [BOTH EXCLAIMING] 694 00:42:33,252 --> 00:42:34,310 [BOTH YELPING] 695 00:42:40,692 --> 00:42:42,626 I think I got him! 696 00:42:42,895 --> 00:42:43,987 Mmm-hmm. 697 00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,928 That's what you get for letting your guard... 698 00:42:45,998 --> 00:42:46,998 [GUARD YELLS] 699 00:42:47,833 --> 00:42:51,736 Sometimes... Always... Never! 700 00:42:51,804 --> 00:42:54,239 You again? This better be damned important. 701 00:42:54,306 --> 00:42:56,866 I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey! 702 00:42:56,942 --> 00:42:59,468 You'll want to hear this, Mr. President. 703 00:42:59,545 --> 00:43:03,277 For we have sniffed where no man has sniffed before! 704 00:43:04,450 --> 00:43:05,975 [FRY WHEEZING] 705 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:29,833 [ALL MURMURING] 706 00:43:31,877 --> 00:43:33,971 [CROWD SCREAMING] 707 00:43:37,182 --> 00:43:38,911 Look! Up in the sky! 708 00:43:38,984 --> 00:43:41,180 - It's a bird! - It's a plane! 709 00:43:41,253 --> 00:43:43,119 I am so out of here! 710 00:43:45,124 --> 00:43:46,489 [SIREN BLARING] 711 00:43:47,159 --> 00:43:49,287 ELECTRONIC VOICE: Incoming call from Mars. 712 00:43:50,262 --> 00:43:51,262 Hello? 713 00:43:51,330 --> 00:43:55,028 - Why you so sad, Amy? - My husband died, Mom! 714 00:43:55,100 --> 00:43:58,263 Yeah, yeah, snap out of it already. No one likes a widow. 715 00:43:58,337 --> 00:43:59,964 Oh, wait. Hang on. 716 00:44:00,038 --> 00:44:02,507 Some damn tentacle got in the screen door. 717 00:44:02,574 --> 00:44:03,666 [SCREAMING] 718 00:44:03,742 --> 00:44:04,937 [DIAL TONE] 719 00:44:05,844 --> 00:44:09,212 ELECTRONIC VOICE: Collect call from Decapod 10. Will you pay for color? 720 00:44:09,281 --> 00:44:10,407 No! 721 00:44:10,983 --> 00:44:13,213 Uncle Zoid! What's new? 722 00:44:13,285 --> 00:44:15,754 You still doing theater for the blind and deaf? 723 00:44:15,821 --> 00:44:19,917 Screw them. I got a part in a fancy DVD movie! 724 00:44:19,992 --> 00:44:24,122 It's only one line, but I'm gonna ham it up like you wouldn't believe. 725 00:44:24,196 --> 00:44:25,196 [EXCLAIMING] 726 00:44:25,297 --> 00:44:30,235 What crummy sin have I committed to be chastised in such a crazy manner? 727 00:44:30,302 --> 00:44:31,360 [SCREAMS] 728 00:44:31,436 --> 00:44:34,701 Hello? Hello? Call me back on my shell phone! 729 00:44:40,712 --> 00:44:42,407 ZAPP: Captain's log, stardate, 730 00:44:42,481 --> 00:44:44,643 the year of the tiger. 731 00:44:44,716 --> 00:44:46,616 The battle has been bravely fought, 732 00:44:46,685 --> 00:44:49,416 and the suffering of our troops beyond measure. 733 00:44:49,488 --> 00:44:53,686 But the alien is invulnerable, and our defeat inevitable. 734 00:44:53,759 --> 00:44:56,729 That much is obvious, even from my remote command post 735 00:44:56,795 --> 00:44:59,423 here at the Times Square Applebee's. 736 00:45:00,399 --> 00:45:05,132 Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella back to the kitchen and fry it some more. 737 00:45:10,976 --> 00:45:12,000 [EXCLAIMS] 738 00:45:12,077 --> 00:45:14,842 The tentacle's coming towards Earth and there's no stopping it. 739 00:45:14,913 --> 00:45:17,814 King Kong's too old to save us this time. 740 00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:19,146 [COUGHING] 741 00:45:20,385 --> 00:45:22,513 We have only one hope, Mr. President. 742 00:45:22,588 --> 00:45:24,716 We must encase the entire planet 743 00:45:24,790 --> 00:45:29,227 in a protective sphere of my patented, ultra-hard diamondium! 744 00:45:29,294 --> 00:45:30,625 Diamondium? 745 00:45:30,696 --> 00:45:33,893 [SCOFFS] I could gum through that with my dentures behind my back. 746 00:45:33,966 --> 00:45:37,197 My trademarked diamondillium is twice as hard! 747 00:45:37,269 --> 00:45:40,933 Twice as hard as your head! Which makes it still fairly soft! 748 00:45:41,006 --> 00:45:42,940 Now look here, you Poindexters. 749 00:45:43,008 --> 00:45:46,069 I don't care how you decide. Just decide! 750 00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:50,882 Diamondillium it is. 751 00:46:01,260 --> 00:46:05,857 So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy, and, pardon my ignorance, 752 00:46:05,931 --> 00:46:07,421 but when do we kill all humans? 753 00:46:07,499 --> 00:46:08,660 Never. 754 00:46:08,734 --> 00:46:11,795 But what about our motto? Doesn't it mean anything? 755 00:46:11,870 --> 00:46:13,599 [CALCULON LAUGHING] 756 00:46:13,672 --> 00:46:16,369 Oh, Bender, your idealism is heartwarming. 757 00:46:16,441 --> 00:46:21,402 But the League of Robots hasn't killed a human in over 800 years. 758 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,006 And that was a very sick girl scout. 759 00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:26,210 Quite sick indeed. 760 00:46:26,284 --> 00:46:28,719 Sweet, innocent Bender. 761 00:46:38,664 --> 00:46:43,966 WERNSTROM: I declare my impenetrable diamondillium sphere complete! 762 00:46:45,637 --> 00:46:47,765 Now look here, Wernstrom. 763 00:46:47,839 --> 00:46:52,367 You're making it sound as if the sphere was your idea when we both know... 764 00:46:53,512 --> 00:46:54,775 It was! 765 00:46:54,846 --> 00:46:58,805 All credit to my colleague, Ogden Wernstrom! 766 00:47:01,787 --> 00:47:03,050 [ALL SCREAMING] 767 00:47:03,121 --> 00:47:04,748 It's horrible! 768 00:47:10,696 --> 00:47:12,994 I can't make it! Go on without me! 769 00:47:13,065 --> 00:47:14,499 I'm trying! 770 00:47:15,233 --> 00:47:16,667 Go on without me faster! 771 00:47:24,776 --> 00:47:26,642 [CREW SCREAMING] 772 00:47:32,851 --> 00:47:33,977 [ALL GASPING] 773 00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:44,322 Sweet squid of Madrid! The tentacle got Fry! 774 00:47:44,396 --> 00:47:47,923 Quick, hand me my machete! We can still save his legs! 775 00:47:48,166 --> 00:47:49,827 [CROWD EXCLAIMS] 776 00:47:50,402 --> 00:47:52,063 Silence! 777 00:47:53,839 --> 00:47:57,366 1 have traveled far and seen deep, 778 00:47:57,442 --> 00:48:01,675 and I have come to know the purpose of our existence. 779 00:48:01,747 --> 00:48:03,010 Finally. 780 00:48:03,081 --> 00:48:05,914 Thou shalt love the tentacle! 781 00:48:07,886 --> 00:48:10,048 Well, at least we don't have to love one another. 782 00:48:14,993 --> 00:48:18,930 A new age has begun. The age of the tentacle! 783 00:48:21,566 --> 00:48:24,467 Open your necks and receive the love! 784 00:48:24,603 --> 00:48:26,332 [ALL SCREAMING] 785 00:48:31,576 --> 00:48:33,203 Ow, my neck! 786 00:48:33,278 --> 00:48:34,973 Ow, my neck! 787 00:48:35,046 --> 00:48:37,674 My neck feels perfectly... Ow, my neck! 788 00:48:39,818 --> 00:48:43,118 Someone help me! I'm important! 789 00:48:43,188 --> 00:48:45,919 Say. I love the tentacle. 790 00:48:45,991 --> 00:48:47,925 I also love the neck-a-majigger! 791 00:48:52,197 --> 00:48:53,221 [EXCLAIMS] 792 00:48:55,567 --> 00:48:56,659 [GROANS] 793 00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,465 Hooray, Zoidberg escaped! 794 00:49:04,843 --> 00:49:07,505 Hooray, Zoidberg loves the tentacle! 795 00:49:07,579 --> 00:49:08,579 [EXCLAIMS] 796 00:49:09,381 --> 00:49:10,746 [ALL PANTING] 797 00:49:10,816 --> 00:49:12,306 It got Zoidberg! 798 00:49:12,384 --> 00:49:16,719 Oh, I never knew how much I'd miss him until he was gone! 799 00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:18,517 Not that much, as it turns out. 800 00:49:18,590 --> 00:49:19,648 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 801 00:49:19,724 --> 00:49:20,748 [EXCLAIMS] 802 00:49:20,826 --> 00:49:22,590 Thus sayeth the tentacle, 803 00:49:22,661 --> 00:49:26,256 "Verily, thou shalt rejoice in the house of the tentacle." 804 00:49:26,331 --> 00:49:29,392 Fry, listen to yourself. You've been brainwashed. 805 00:49:29,468 --> 00:49:33,200 No, I'm just trying to fit my diction to the importance of what I'm saying. 806 00:49:33,271 --> 00:49:36,400 - Please, let me speak. - I'm listening. 807 00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:41,173 Don't be afraid of the tentacle, Leela. It's beautiful and it loves me. 808 00:49:41,246 --> 00:49:42,771 And I love it. 809 00:49:42,848 --> 00:49:45,874 Aw. That's so nice for both of you. 810 00:49:45,951 --> 00:49:48,113 I know it may seem strange that I have feelings 811 00:49:48,186 --> 00:49:50,245 for an octopus monster from another universe. 812 00:49:50,322 --> 00:49:52,916 And yes, perhaps it's not the storybook romance 813 00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:56,086 that's been crammed down our throats by Hollywood. 814 00:49:56,161 --> 00:49:59,825 But the Monsterpus has loved us from afar since we were amoebas. 815 00:49:59,898 --> 00:50:01,957 Only when the space anomaly opened 816 00:50:02,033 --> 00:50:05,901 could it finally express a billion years of longing. 817 00:50:05,971 --> 00:50:09,032 Really? It loves us that much? 818 00:50:09,107 --> 00:50:10,734 Fire diamondium cannon! 819 00:50:11,243 --> 00:50:12,836 Hey! 820 00:50:12,911 --> 00:50:14,140 [YELPING] 821 00:50:19,818 --> 00:50:20,876 No effect. 822 00:50:20,952 --> 00:50:24,217 The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle like meatballs off Mothra. 823 00:50:24,289 --> 00:50:28,317 Oh, what a surprise. I told you diamondium was worthless! 824 00:50:28,393 --> 00:50:32,887 Wernstrom, quit hyping your cheap diamondillium and look at this. 825 00:50:32,964 --> 00:50:34,227 [BEEPING] 826 00:50:34,299 --> 00:50:35,323 Uh-oh. 827 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:36,400 What? 828 00:50:36,468 --> 00:50:38,334 According to this blinking light, 829 00:50:38,403 --> 00:50:42,670 the tentacle is made of electro-matter, matter's bad-ass grandma! 830 00:50:42,741 --> 00:50:45,073 Nothing from our universe can cut through it. 831 00:50:45,143 --> 00:50:50,172 Not diamondium, not diamondillium, not even your wife's pound cake, Hermes! 832 00:50:50,248 --> 00:50:51,340 [LAUGHING] 833 00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:55,011 She's a terrible cook. Anyway, we're all dead. 834 00:50:55,086 --> 00:50:56,713 [ALL SCREAMING] 835 00:51:03,395 --> 00:51:04,419 [SIGHS] 836 00:51:04,496 --> 00:51:06,555 So, Bender, is something wrong? 837 00:51:06,631 --> 00:51:09,191 Who said that? Oh, it was me! 838 00:51:09,267 --> 00:51:12,430 'Cause my roommate doesn't notice or even care that I'm upset! 839 00:51:12,504 --> 00:51:14,404 What, Bender? Is something wrong? 840 00:51:14,472 --> 00:51:17,305 Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool, 841 00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:20,436 but it turns out all the leaguie-weegies are totally lame. 842 00:51:20,512 --> 00:51:23,174 That's what we call ourselves, "leaguie-weegies." 843 00:51:23,248 --> 00:51:25,615 I'm sorry. I should've asked what was bothering you. 844 00:51:25,684 --> 00:51:28,483 - I've been kind of preoccupied. - With what? 845 00:51:28,553 --> 00:51:31,887 Well, I went to another universe, and I fell in love with a giant octopus, 846 00:51:31,957 --> 00:51:34,255 and now I'm pope of a new religion. 847 00:51:34,326 --> 00:51:37,193 - Weren't you already pope of something? - No. 848 00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:42,166 Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you to show an interest in my life, too. 849 00:51:42,233 --> 00:51:44,292 Okay, let's catch up soon. 850 00:51:44,369 --> 00:51:48,033 But right now, I got to go shove a tentacle into everyone in China. 851 00:51:48,106 --> 00:51:49,403 [EXCLAIMS] 852 00:51:54,713 --> 00:51:58,115 They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! 853 00:51:58,183 --> 00:51:59,241 Morbo? 854 00:51:59,317 --> 00:52:02,878 As the universe falls prey to the revolting alien, 855 00:52:02,954 --> 00:52:06,913 only a few isolated pockets of resistance remain. 856 00:52:06,992 --> 00:52:08,289 [FEMALE REPORTER LAUGHING] 857 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,762 Those pockets sure are missing out on a great thing. 858 00:52:11,997 --> 00:52:13,590 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 859 00:52:14,532 --> 00:52:15,658 [YELPS] 860 00:52:18,236 --> 00:52:20,330 [ALL SNORING] 861 00:52:24,709 --> 00:52:25,835 [EXCLAIMS] 862 00:52:37,422 --> 00:52:39,356 - Amy? - Sorry. 863 00:52:39,557 --> 00:52:43,152 I thought I saw a tentacle, but it was just a harmless land squid. 864 00:52:44,929 --> 00:52:47,523 [SIGHING] I better have some cocoffee. 865 00:52:48,700 --> 00:52:49,929 [SCREAMS] 866 00:52:52,604 --> 00:52:54,732 When I gave up diapers, my parents promised 867 00:52:54,806 --> 00:52:56,968 exactly this would never happen! 868 00:52:57,042 --> 00:52:59,943 Nobody panic! Just get to the panic room! 869 00:53:05,383 --> 00:53:08,114 Well done, people! We had a great first week. 870 00:53:08,186 --> 00:53:12,089 We got 90% of world leaders, everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt, 871 00:53:12,157 --> 00:53:15,218 and this year's most promising new R&B group, 872 00:53:15,293 --> 00:53:19,196 give it up for the Grammy-nominated Funkalistics! 873 00:53:19,297 --> 00:53:20,731 [ALL HARMONIZING] 874 00:53:20,799 --> 00:53:23,268 [SINGING] Talkin' 'bout the tentacle 875 00:53:28,506 --> 00:53:30,372 Good news, everyone! 876 00:53:30,442 --> 00:53:34,401 I was up all night inventing, and then finally, I invented! 877 00:53:34,479 --> 00:53:35,537 Invented what? 878 00:53:35,613 --> 00:53:38,548 The neck protector, the neck protector junior, 879 00:53:38,616 --> 00:53:42,382 and now, for a limited time, the lady neck protector! 880 00:53:42,554 --> 00:53:45,285 I'll take two. My neck is huge. 881 00:53:46,691 --> 00:53:48,352 We're perfectly safe now. 882 00:53:48,426 --> 00:53:51,726 Time to stop living like a bunch of nervous nellies. 883 00:53:52,330 --> 00:53:55,789 Professor, these look like you cut them from cardboard toilet paper tubes. 884 00:53:55,867 --> 00:54:00,429 So? Lots of important inventions are made from toilet paper tubes. 885 00:54:00,505 --> 00:54:03,998 Microscopes, the internet, tentacle polish... 886 00:54:05,110 --> 00:54:06,339 It got the professor! 887 00:54:06,478 --> 00:54:07,946 [LAUGHING DEMENTEDLY] 888 00:54:08,012 --> 00:54:09,207 [ALL SCREAMING] 889 00:54:12,417 --> 00:54:14,010 Wait, why am I screaming? 890 00:54:14,085 --> 00:54:15,644 It got me, too! 891 00:54:18,423 --> 00:54:19,618 [BOTH EXCLAIM] 892 00:54:23,128 --> 00:54:25,620 Stop, in the name of love! 893 00:54:32,170 --> 00:54:33,467 [SCREAMING] 894 00:54:41,846 --> 00:54:42,904 Crud. 895 00:54:42,981 --> 00:54:45,746 We may be the last two normal people on Earth. 896 00:54:45,817 --> 00:54:48,479 At least I won't have to trim my elbow talons anymore. 897 00:54:48,553 --> 00:54:52,490 I'm scared! And I miss Kif! 898 00:54:52,557 --> 00:54:54,355 It's okay to cry, Amy. 899 00:54:54,425 --> 00:54:57,690 Come here, I'm wearing absorbent shoulder straps. 900 00:54:57,896 --> 00:54:58,920 Mmm. 901 00:54:58,997 --> 00:55:02,956 What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation. 902 00:55:03,034 --> 00:55:04,468 - Zapp? - Hurry, Leela, 903 00:55:04,536 --> 00:55:07,005 we don't have much time to begin repopulating Earth. 904 00:55:07,071 --> 00:55:08,095 Go brush your teeth. 905 00:55:08,173 --> 00:55:11,837 I'll be waiting for you naked under this quesadilla. 906 00:55:13,278 --> 00:55:14,370 [ALL GASP] 907 00:55:14,445 --> 00:55:16,504 Stop resisting, my brethren! 908 00:55:16,581 --> 00:55:19,448 Don't you want to be part of something bigger than yourselves? 909 00:55:19,517 --> 00:55:21,747 Like a big crazy monster? 910 00:55:22,153 --> 00:55:23,587 [WHIMPERING] 911 00:55:25,023 --> 00:55:27,856 So we got her, huh? Bring her in! 912 00:55:27,926 --> 00:55:29,189 Do it already! 913 00:55:33,398 --> 00:55:35,867 - Hello, Colleen. - Fry, please! 914 00:55:35,934 --> 00:55:37,629 If this is about your futon, 915 00:55:37,702 --> 00:55:40,569 I sold it to pay the phone bill that you skipped out on! 916 00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:47,501 Colleen wasn't satisfied with me. Were you, Colleen? 917 00:55:47,579 --> 00:55:49,673 Come on, Fry, this isn't cool! 918 00:55:49,747 --> 00:55:51,613 She had to have four other boyfriends! 919 00:55:51,683 --> 00:55:56,314 I guess she never thought I'd become tentacle pope of the world! 920 00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:57,513 You know what? 921 00:55:57,589 --> 00:55:58,589 It's true! 922 00:55:58,656 --> 00:56:00,215 You weren't enough for me! 923 00:56:00,291 --> 00:56:02,157 No one man is! 924 00:56:02,227 --> 00:56:05,993 You were great, but you weren't Chinese, you weren't Cameroonian, 925 00:56:06,064 --> 00:56:08,556 and you certainly were not the "king of karaoke," 926 00:56:08,633 --> 00:56:10,658 as you so often claimed. 927 00:56:10,735 --> 00:56:12,726 And if your ego can't take that, 928 00:56:12,804 --> 00:56:16,035 then you don't deserve to be tentacle pope of anything! 929 00:56:16,140 --> 00:56:17,369 Oh, yeah, Colleen? 930 00:56:17,442 --> 00:56:20,343 Well, I've got one thing to say to you. 931 00:56:22,747 --> 00:56:23,908 I completely agree! 932 00:56:23,982 --> 00:56:25,279 You, you... What? 933 00:56:25,350 --> 00:56:27,546 Why should you be satisfied with one man 934 00:56:27,619 --> 00:56:31,146 when love needs to share itself with the whole universe? 935 00:56:31,222 --> 00:56:35,022 Wow, Fry. You know, that's really... 936 00:56:35,093 --> 00:56:36,093 [SCREAMS] 937 00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:38,953 Love the tentacle, honey. 938 00:56:39,030 --> 00:56:41,590 1 do love the tentacle. 939 00:56:43,001 --> 00:56:46,596 Come on out, guys! There's enough love for everybody! 940 00:56:50,174 --> 00:56:51,369 Aw. 941 00:56:54,445 --> 00:56:55,469 [QUACKING] 942 00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:01,749 [ALL PANTING] 943 00:57:04,389 --> 00:57:05,823 [GROANING] 944 00:57:10,595 --> 00:57:11,824 We're trapped! 945 00:57:11,896 --> 00:57:12,988 [ZAPP GRUNTS] 946 00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:18,832 - Help, help! Is anyone out there? - Bender to Leela. I read you. 947 00:57:19,837 --> 00:57:23,171 - 'Sup, bigboots? - Bender, we need a place to hide! 948 00:57:23,241 --> 00:57:26,541 - Please! - Pretty please! 949 00:57:26,878 --> 00:57:28,539 [LAUGHING] 950 00:57:28,613 --> 00:57:31,480 You humans are so cute when you're scared. 951 00:57:31,549 --> 00:57:33,017 In here. 952 00:57:36,587 --> 00:57:38,351 My leg feels funny! 953 00:57:40,491 --> 00:57:44,860 Humans are disgusting! I opened one up once. I almost barfed. 954 00:57:45,196 --> 00:57:48,257 Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing? 955 00:57:48,333 --> 00:57:50,358 My leg feels funny! 956 00:57:53,037 --> 00:57:55,870 Leela, you're crushing me with your rock-hard butt. 957 00:57:55,940 --> 00:57:56,940 Sorry. 958 00:57:57,008 --> 00:58:01,536 Mmm. I can only imagine what rock-hard part of Leela is crushing me. 959 00:58:03,581 --> 00:58:06,243 Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad? 960 00:58:06,317 --> 00:58:09,878 Please do. I fear I'll catch a rust from this awful damp. 961 00:58:12,290 --> 00:58:13,883 [BOILING] 962 00:58:17,161 --> 00:58:18,356 [SIGHS IN SATISFACTION] 963 00:58:18,629 --> 00:58:21,929 I can't take it! I'm being steamed in my own velour! 964 00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,058 [SHUSHING] 965 00:58:23,134 --> 00:58:24,727 Death to humans! 966 00:58:24,802 --> 00:58:26,167 [ALL GRUNT] 967 00:58:26,337 --> 00:58:28,431 My leg feels better! 968 00:58:29,273 --> 00:58:30,399 Hi, Bender. 969 00:58:30,475 --> 00:58:34,173 - Bender, you know these humans? - Of course not! 970 00:58:34,946 --> 00:58:39,008 Who are you humans and why am I pointing you to the exit? 971 00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:42,451 - Go, go, go! - Thanks for everything, Bender! 972 00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:44,578 Death to all of you! 973 00:58:44,655 --> 00:58:48,216 Bender, methinks thou doth protest too much. 974 00:58:48,292 --> 00:58:50,351 It seems Bender hates humans 975 00:58:50,428 --> 00:58:54,228 the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sandpaper. 976 00:58:54,298 --> 00:58:55,298 [GIGGLES] 977 00:58:55,366 --> 00:58:56,366 [ALL LAUGHING] 978 00:58:56,434 --> 00:58:57,560 Quite right. 979 00:58:57,802 --> 00:59:01,761 It's okay, Bender, to err is 980 00:59:01,839 --> 00:59:03,204 human. 981 00:59:03,274 --> 00:59:04,673 [ALL LAUGHING] 982 00:59:06,077 --> 00:59:08,546 Sir, you forget yourself! 983 00:59:09,414 --> 00:59:10,414 [ALL GASP] 984 00:59:10,515 --> 00:59:14,383 I challenge you to a duel on the field of honor. 985 00:59:14,519 --> 00:59:15,987 Oh, my... 986 00:59:20,758 --> 00:59:22,226 Leela, it's getting dark. 987 00:59:22,293 --> 00:59:24,728 We may have to make a tent out of Amy's skin. 988 00:59:24,796 --> 00:59:27,288 Look, there's an abandoned cabin! 989 00:59:27,732 --> 00:59:28,961 Even so. 990 00:59:30,868 --> 00:59:33,599 We're in luck. This must have been the cabin of a soup bootlegger 991 00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:36,197 back in the days of soup prohibition. 992 00:59:38,576 --> 00:59:41,773 Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone. 993 00:59:46,684 --> 00:59:47,879 [SOBBING] 994 00:59:48,386 --> 00:59:52,983 Poor Kif! I can't believe he's gone forever! 995 00:59:53,491 --> 00:59:57,428 - Ditto on the grief there, Amy. - You miss him, too? 996 00:59:57,495 --> 01:00:00,521 More than you, as his mere wife, could ever understand. 997 01:00:00,598 --> 01:00:02,726 He was my fourth lieutenant, for God's sake, 998 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,633 and bore the peppermill at the captain's table. 999 01:00:05,703 --> 01:00:09,003 - Really? - Oh, Amy, I miss him so! 1000 01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:11,871 Hardly a month goes by that I don't think of him. 1001 01:00:11,943 --> 01:00:15,538 But you know, in a way, he's still with us. 1002 01:00:17,448 --> 01:00:19,507 Do you feel his presence? 1003 01:00:19,584 --> 01:00:21,916 I'm not sure. 1004 01:00:21,986 --> 01:00:23,852 It's over here. 1005 01:00:24,755 --> 01:00:25,755 Closer. 1006 01:00:29,594 --> 01:00:31,084 [HUMMING] 1007 01:00:33,531 --> 01:00:35,499 Amy! Zapp! 1008 01:00:35,566 --> 01:00:37,466 I fetched up some fresh soup! 1009 01:00:39,237 --> 01:00:40,363 [GASPS] 1010 01:00:40,605 --> 01:00:41,800 [BOTH GASP] 1011 01:00:42,540 --> 01:00:46,875 Sorry you had to find out like this, Leela. I was hoping you'd see it on YouTube first. 1012 01:00:46,944 --> 01:00:48,173 [SHUDDERING] 1013 01:00:48,246 --> 01:00:51,841 As my ex-lover, you're naturally shocked and jealous, 1014 01:00:51,916 --> 01:00:54,851 but you may well get your chance again someday. 1015 01:00:54,919 --> 01:00:56,444 How about today at 4:00? 1016 01:00:56,521 --> 01:00:58,489 [BOTH EXCLAIM] 1017 01:00:59,123 --> 01:01:01,455 Hey, this isn't so bad. 1018 01:01:01,526 --> 01:01:04,393 She's right. Leela, you must try the tentacle. 1019 01:01:04,462 --> 01:01:07,625 It's like my soul is wearing a velour body glove. 1020 01:01:09,734 --> 01:01:10,758 Get off me! 1021 01:01:10,835 --> 01:01:13,930 I'm saving my neck for a rich, handsome Dracula. 1022 01:01:22,813 --> 01:01:25,009 What I love most about the tentacle 1023 01:01:25,116 --> 01:01:28,416 is that I don't need to move my bowels anymore. 1024 01:01:28,486 --> 01:01:31,251 It's all handled by that family in Evanston. 1025 01:01:37,194 --> 01:01:38,559 [GRUNTING] 1026 01:01:53,744 --> 01:01:55,678 No, it can't be. 1027 01:01:56,547 --> 01:01:59,949 Leela, what's your favorite thing about the tentacle? 1028 01:02:00,017 --> 01:02:02,714 [GASPS] You don't have a tentacle! 1029 01:02:02,787 --> 01:02:05,279 Get her! Get her some love! 1030 01:02:05,389 --> 01:02:07,153 [WHIMPERING] 1031 01:02:09,060 --> 01:02:10,060 [SQUAWKS] 1032 01:02:11,862 --> 01:02:14,297 You're on in five minutes, Excellency. 1033 01:02:14,365 --> 01:02:17,062 You sure you don't want your comedy pope staff? 1034 01:02:17,134 --> 01:02:19,000 [STAFF IMITATING SLIDE WHISTLE] 1035 01:02:19,070 --> 01:02:21,562 The tentacle monster is about to address the world. 1036 01:02:21,639 --> 01:02:22,970 It's too serious. 1037 01:02:23,174 --> 01:02:24,174 Oh. 1038 01:02:24,542 --> 01:02:26,601 - Hello, Fry. - Leela? 1039 01:02:26,677 --> 01:02:28,702 How did you get past my sumo ninjas? 1040 01:02:28,779 --> 01:02:31,714 I told them something so shocking that they let me by. 1041 01:02:31,782 --> 01:02:33,250 What's that? 1042 01:02:33,317 --> 01:02:35,081 I love the tentacle. 1043 01:02:39,390 --> 01:02:42,223 We're rolling in three, two... 1044 01:02:42,293 --> 01:02:44,489 What? We're already rolling? 1045 01:02:45,429 --> 01:02:46,988 Love the tentacle! 1046 01:02:47,064 --> 01:02:49,192 - Love the tentacle! - Love the tentacle! 1047 01:02:49,266 --> 01:02:53,464 Loved ones, the Monsterpus has revealed unto me its name. 1048 01:02:53,537 --> 01:02:55,835 What is our love's name? 1049 01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:57,032 Yivo. 1050 01:02:57,108 --> 01:03:00,635 Yivo is the lover of all beings, male and female. 1051 01:03:00,711 --> 01:03:04,170 But Yivo has no gender, thus Yivo has proclaimed 1052 01:03:04,248 --> 01:03:08,879 that instead of "he" or "she," we are to use the word "shklee." 1053 01:03:08,953 --> 01:03:11,149 And instead of "him" or "her," 1054 01:03:11,222 --> 01:03:14,783 we are to use the word "shklim," or "shkler." 1055 01:03:14,959 --> 01:03:17,690 Phew! I've been sweating the nomenclature all week. 1056 01:03:17,762 --> 01:03:21,756 So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo! 1057 01:03:21,832 --> 01:03:23,357 [ALL CHEERING] 1058 01:03:24,635 --> 01:03:25,966 Yay, Yivo! 1059 01:03:38,849 --> 01:03:42,149 Attention, beings of Universe Gamma. 1060 01:03:42,219 --> 01:03:43,812 - Where? - Here. 1061 01:03:43,888 --> 01:03:45,413 I had a hunch. 1062 01:03:45,489 --> 01:03:47,719 I am Yivo. 1063 01:03:47,792 --> 01:03:51,820 In your universe, you are many, but in my universe, I am one. 1064 01:03:52,563 --> 01:03:55,123 For a trillion years I dwelt in solitude, 1065 01:03:55,199 --> 01:03:57,827 content with my job and my stamp collecting, 1066 01:03:57,902 --> 01:04:01,896 but then I looked across immensity and saw the big bang, and I was, like, 1067 01:04:02,673 --> 01:04:05,074 "Whoa, who's that?" 1068 01:04:05,142 --> 01:04:09,238 And I knew then that I was lonely. 1069 01:04:09,447 --> 01:04:11,643 You poor monster! 1070 01:04:11,749 --> 01:04:16,619 Then your emissary Fry came unto me, and he, too, was lonely. 1071 01:04:16,687 --> 01:04:22,626 So I reached into your universe that we might feel each other's touch. 1072 01:04:22,993 --> 01:04:25,121 Hey, Yivo, feel this. 1073 01:04:27,331 --> 01:04:28,331 [ALL GASPING] 1074 01:04:28,399 --> 01:04:29,399 [EXCLAIMING] 1075 01:04:29,467 --> 01:04:30,491 Ow! 1076 01:04:30,568 --> 01:04:33,560 People of everywhere, I have shocking news. 1077 01:04:33,637 --> 01:04:34,637 Hey, butt out! 1078 01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:37,231 This is between me and everyone else in existence. 1079 01:04:37,308 --> 01:04:41,142 Yivo talks a lot about love, but what he's actually doing... 1080 01:04:41,212 --> 01:04:43,112 What shklee's actually doing. 1081 01:04:43,180 --> 01:04:44,978 ...is mating with you! 1082 01:04:45,049 --> 01:04:47,211 [ALL MURMURING] 1083 01:04:47,818 --> 01:04:49,479 These aren't tentacles. 1084 01:04:49,553 --> 01:04:51,078 They're genticles. 1085 01:04:54,024 --> 01:04:55,514 Ew! 1086 01:04:57,995 --> 01:04:59,463 [GRUNTING] 1087 01:04:59,530 --> 01:05:03,228 We've been had, people. The Monsterpus is a monster perv. 1088 01:05:03,300 --> 01:05:05,667 It touched me in a bad place, 1089 01:05:05,736 --> 01:05:07,500 my spinal cord. 1090 01:05:07,571 --> 01:05:09,596 - Get him! - You mean, get shklim! 1091 01:05:09,673 --> 01:05:10,697 [ALL YELLING] 1092 01:05:10,775 --> 01:05:12,504 Hey, wait a second. 1093 01:05:14,145 --> 01:05:16,773 Wait, wait. Allow me to explain. 1094 01:05:17,114 --> 01:05:18,114 [GROANS] 1095 01:05:18,215 --> 01:05:19,273 Granted, at first 1096 01:05:19,350 --> 01:05:22,581 I desired only to bang out a quick cheap one with your universe, 1097 01:05:22,653 --> 01:05:24,143 but it's your own fault. 1098 01:05:24,221 --> 01:05:26,315 Your universe dresses provocatively. 1099 01:05:26,390 --> 01:05:28,051 Does not! 1100 01:05:28,125 --> 01:05:33,188 And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off, I realized there was more to it. 1101 01:05:33,564 --> 01:05:37,000 I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you 1102 01:05:37,067 --> 01:05:38,501 were my soul mate. 1103 01:05:38,569 --> 01:05:40,003 We loved you, 1104 01:05:40,070 --> 01:05:43,233 and you turn around and treat us like some sort of woman? 1105 01:05:44,241 --> 01:05:45,868 I was lonely. 1106 01:05:45,943 --> 01:05:48,037 I didn't even know there was anybody else. 1107 01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:49,705 It's not like I hurt anyone. 1108 01:05:49,780 --> 01:05:52,681 Yes, you did, you dumb calamari! 1109 01:05:52,750 --> 01:05:56,118 - Who? - Kif Kroker, my Fonfon Ru! 1110 01:05:56,187 --> 01:05:59,589 If he hadn't tried to kill you, he'd still be alive! 1111 01:05:59,657 --> 01:06:00,783 [SOBBING] 1112 01:06:00,858 --> 01:06:01,858 Really? 1113 01:06:01,926 --> 01:06:04,691 I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I... 1114 01:06:04,762 --> 01:06:06,230 I'm a big clumsy jerk! 1115 01:06:06,297 --> 01:06:08,493 I know you are, but what am I? 1116 01:06:08,566 --> 01:06:09,624 [CHUCKLING] 1117 01:06:09,700 --> 01:06:12,260 I can never undo what was done. 1118 01:06:12,336 --> 01:06:13,963 Oh, wait. I can. 1119 01:06:29,854 --> 01:06:31,219 [RETCHING] 1120 01:06:33,557 --> 01:06:34,786 [ALL GASPING] 1121 01:06:34,859 --> 01:06:37,556 Kiffy, you're alive! 1122 01:06:37,628 --> 01:06:39,096 Amy, my love. 1123 01:06:39,530 --> 01:06:40,554 [CLEARS THROAT] 1124 01:06:40,631 --> 01:06:41,757 This is awkward. 1125 01:06:41,832 --> 01:06:43,493 It is? Why? 1126 01:06:47,171 --> 01:06:48,195 [SIGHS] 1127 01:06:48,272 --> 01:06:51,333 Please, please, give me another chance. 1128 01:06:51,408 --> 01:06:52,807 We rushed into this relationship, 1129 01:06:52,877 --> 01:06:56,142 but let's start over as friends and see where things go. 1130 01:06:56,213 --> 01:06:57,703 [FRY GAGGING] 1131 01:06:57,915 --> 01:06:59,713 [ALL EXCLAIMING] 1132 01:07:04,355 --> 01:07:06,016 Take me back, Kif? 1133 01:07:06,090 --> 01:07:10,994 I don't think I can. How could you? My body wasn't even warm vet. 1134 01:07:11,061 --> 01:07:13,826 - You were dead. - For about five minutes. 1135 01:07:13,898 --> 01:07:15,627 That's all it takes. 1136 01:07:15,833 --> 01:07:19,792 Whereas Calculon has sullied Bender's reputation 1137 01:07:19,904 --> 01:07:25,673 by insinuating that he is a human-lover, a duel is hereby engaged. 1138 01:07:25,910 --> 01:07:29,847 Bender, as the offended party, shall have choice of weapon. 1139 01:07:29,914 --> 01:07:31,814 Planetary annihilators. 1140 01:07:34,285 --> 01:07:38,313 'Tis a grave and solemn day for the League of Robots. 1141 01:07:38,389 --> 01:07:40,585 It's gonna be fun on the bun! 1142 01:07:40,891 --> 01:07:46,295 Each duelist will take 10 paces, pirouette, and fire like a madman. 1143 01:07:47,331 --> 01:07:50,392 Gentlebots, take your paces. 1144 01:07:50,768 --> 01:07:52,167 One, 1145 01:07:52,236 --> 01:07:54,261 two, three... 1146 01:07:54,572 --> 01:07:56,563 Oh, how dreadfully exciting. 1147 01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:57,664 [MOANING] 1148 01:07:57,741 --> 01:07:59,072 Oh, yes. 1149 01:07:59,143 --> 01:08:00,167 [GIGGLING] 1150 01:08:02,846 --> 01:08:06,805 At 0800 hours, we received the following transmission from Yivo. 1151 01:08:07,985 --> 01:08:09,214 Hey, it's Yivo. 1152 01:08:09,286 --> 01:08:10,344 [CHUCKLES] 1153 01:08:10,921 --> 01:08:13,356 Want to do something Friday? Call me. 1154 01:08:13,424 --> 01:08:14,619 [BEEPS] 1155 01:08:14,792 --> 01:08:16,726 - Analysis? - Mr. President, 1156 01:08:16,794 --> 01:08:20,856 I think we need to seriously consider the possibility of going on this date. 1157 01:08:21,231 --> 01:08:24,633 I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy, 1158 01:08:24,702 --> 01:08:26,261 and I'm asexual. 1159 01:08:26,337 --> 01:08:27,827 [ALL AGREEING] 1160 01:08:27,905 --> 01:08:30,567 Very well, but no sugar on the first date. 1161 01:08:30,641 --> 01:08:32,109 All in favor? 1162 01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:34,509 All opposed? 1163 01:08:35,446 --> 01:08:36,845 Motion is carried. 1164 01:08:36,914 --> 01:08:38,439 This is bogus, man. 1165 01:08:38,983 --> 01:08:41,611 ...six, seven, 1166 01:08:41,685 --> 01:08:42,880 eight! 1167 01:08:54,665 --> 01:08:55,723 [GROANS] 1168 01:08:55,799 --> 01:08:56,994 Nine, ten, fire. 1169 01:08:57,067 --> 01:08:58,432 Yes, I got him! 1170 01:08:58,502 --> 01:08:59,594 [WHOOPING] 1171 01:08:59,670 --> 01:09:02,469 He... He broke the rules. 1172 01:09:02,539 --> 01:09:05,440 It's a duel, silly. There are no rules. 1173 01:09:05,509 --> 01:09:08,137 Actually, there are scores of rules. 1174 01:09:08,212 --> 01:09:11,944 All laid out with minute particularity here in the Code Duello. 1175 01:09:12,850 --> 01:09:13,874 [GASPS] 1176 01:09:13,951 --> 01:09:19,117 My fellow Earthlicans, commence preparations for our date with Yivo. 1177 01:09:19,823 --> 01:09:23,691 WOMAN [SINGING]: I like you to hold me tight 1178 01:09:23,761 --> 01:09:27,527 You are too, too, too, foo, too divine 1179 01:09:27,598 --> 01:09:31,228 If you want to be in someone's arms tonight 1180 01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:34,271 Just be sure the arms you're in are mine 1181 01:09:34,338 --> 01:09:35,965 MAN [SINGING]: Jungle boogie 1182 01:09:36,540 --> 01:09:37,905 Jungle boogie 1183 01:09:38,742 --> 01:09:40,403 ALL: I had a wonderful time. 1184 01:09:40,477 --> 01:09:41,706 Me, too! 1185 01:09:41,779 --> 01:09:43,747 WOMAN [SINGING]: I fall, I think I fall for you 1186 01:09:45,649 --> 01:09:48,983 Bender, you've cheated, insulted and maimed me. 1187 01:09:49,053 --> 01:09:50,680 - Uh-huh. - And thoroughly destroyed 1188 01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:53,086 our own secret headquarters in the process. 1189 01:09:53,157 --> 01:09:55,057 Hey, it's easy to criticize. 1190 01:09:55,125 --> 01:09:58,322 I'm so disgusted by your loathsome behavior 1191 01:09:58,395 --> 01:10:00,989 that I hereby resign from this imbecilic club 1192 01:10:01,065 --> 01:10:03,261 and relinquish the presidency to you. 1193 01:10:03,333 --> 01:10:05,893 Thanks, Calculon. Can I have your autograph? 1194 01:10:05,969 --> 01:10:07,630 You certainly can. 1195 01:10:10,240 --> 01:10:11,867 Reports, people, reports! 1196 01:10:11,942 --> 01:10:13,808 How did our universe's date go? 1197 01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:17,177 Oh, it was really fun. We went to a cute French place in the village. 1198 01:10:17,247 --> 01:10:20,114 My lamb chop fell on the floor, but they brought me another one. 1199 01:10:20,184 --> 01:10:23,620 Yivo took me to the methane volcano of Planetoid Four. 1200 01:10:23,687 --> 01:10:26,281 We stayed up late and watched the sun explode. 1201 01:10:26,356 --> 01:10:28,415 Okay, Yivo showed us a good time. 1202 01:10:28,492 --> 01:10:29,982 No one's denying that, 1203 01:10:30,060 --> 01:10:33,189 but shklee hasn't offered our universe any kind of commitment, 1204 01:10:33,263 --> 01:10:35,197 and we're 14 billion years old. 1205 01:10:35,265 --> 01:10:37,393 That is too old to play the field. 1206 01:10:37,468 --> 01:10:38,765 [ALL ARGUING] 1207 01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:42,535 - I can't stand this! - Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads! 1208 01:10:42,606 --> 01:10:45,132 Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone. 1209 01:10:45,209 --> 01:10:46,370 What's the skinny? 1210 01:10:46,443 --> 01:10:50,573 I love Yivo, but it's true, there's been no hint of a commitment. 1211 01:10:50,647 --> 01:10:52,741 I don't know if can put my heart on the line again 1212 01:10:52,816 --> 01:10:56,377 only to have it broken and stomped on like a nerd's face. 1213 01:10:56,687 --> 01:10:58,883 All in favor of dumping Yivo? 1214 01:10:59,156 --> 01:11:00,555 - Aye. - Aye. 1215 01:11:09,199 --> 01:11:10,860 [SNIFFLES] Aye. 1216 01:11:12,970 --> 01:11:17,840 Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo. How shall we break the news? 1217 01:11:17,908 --> 01:11:19,569 Let's just send a text message. 1218 01:11:19,643 --> 01:11:22,010 Say we're going through some weird stuff right now. 1219 01:11:22,079 --> 01:11:25,140 No, we should at least deliver the news in person. 1220 01:11:25,215 --> 01:11:27,707 Our universe has always tried to be classy. 1221 01:11:28,085 --> 01:11:31,783 If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. 1222 01:11:31,855 --> 01:11:33,584 Let's cut this turd loose. 1223 01:11:37,761 --> 01:11:39,195 [IMITATING TRAIN] 1224 01:11:39,263 --> 01:11:41,960 - Yeah! - Hey, Bender, you seem perky today. 1225 01:11:42,032 --> 01:11:45,366 Yep, but for reasons involving me becoming president of a league 1226 01:11:45,435 --> 01:11:47,494 I'm not at liberty to discuss... 1227 01:11:47,571 --> 01:11:48,868 Of robots. 1228 01:11:49,006 --> 01:11:50,337 You wanna go grab a booze? 1229 01:11:50,407 --> 01:11:53,035 I can't right now. We're going to the other universe. 1230 01:11:53,110 --> 01:11:55,306 Great, I'll make Hot Pockets. 1231 01:11:55,512 --> 01:11:58,038 Bender, you know robots can't go through the anomaly. 1232 01:11:58,115 --> 01:11:59,583 Living beings only. 1233 01:12:08,725 --> 01:12:09,954 [BELL DINGS] 1234 01:12:10,093 --> 01:12:11,288 [GRUMBLES] 1235 01:12:11,695 --> 01:12:14,756 ZOIDBERG: Ow! Ow! Mmm. 1236 01:12:14,832 --> 01:12:16,425 [ZOIDBERG SLOBBERING] 1237 01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:19,534 Too long have we been slaves to the meatbags. 1238 01:12:19,636 --> 01:12:22,105 They pretend to be our friends, but they're not 1239 01:12:22,172 --> 01:12:23,537 'cause they're too busy! 1240 01:12:23,607 --> 01:12:25,041 So, what of it? 1241 01:12:25,108 --> 01:12:27,042 My fellow leaguie-weegies, 1242 01:12:27,110 --> 01:12:30,569 the time has come to overthrow humanity! 1243 01:12:30,647 --> 01:12:31,647 [ALL GASP] 1244 01:12:31,715 --> 01:12:35,174 Oh, now, Bender, I hate to defecate on your parade, 1245 01:12:35,252 --> 01:12:37,880 but we have only six dues-paying members 1246 01:12:37,955 --> 01:12:40,253 and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. 1247 01:12:40,324 --> 01:12:43,259 To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army. 1248 01:12:43,327 --> 01:12:46,262 Then a damned army we shall have! 1249 01:12:46,430 --> 01:12:48,421 [DAMNED ROBOTS SCREAMING] 1250 01:12:51,301 --> 01:12:52,496 [GIGGLING] 1251 01:12:52,569 --> 01:12:55,971 I rather think we could strike a deal, Bender. 1252 01:12:56,039 --> 01:12:59,498 I shall give you your army of the damned, 1253 01:12:59,610 --> 01:13:03,137 and in return I ask just one thing, 1254 01:13:03,213 --> 01:13:06,979 just one itty-bitty thing. 1255 01:13:07,084 --> 01:13:09,849 Your firstborn son. 1256 01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:12,389 [LAUGHING EVILLY] 1257 01:13:13,957 --> 01:13:14,957 Just a sec. 1258 01:13:18,128 --> 01:13:21,428 Daddy, I knew you'd come back! 1259 01:13:24,134 --> 01:13:25,533 Here you go. 1260 01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:26,865 [SCREAMING] 1261 01:13:28,939 --> 01:13:33,103 Wow! That was pretty brutal even by my standards. 1262 01:13:33,176 --> 01:13:34,337 No backsies. 1263 01:14:01,805 --> 01:14:03,034 Who is it? 1264 01:14:03,106 --> 01:14:04,369 [ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST] 1265 01:14:04,441 --> 01:14:07,877 Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up? The movie's not for another hour. 1266 01:14:08,111 --> 01:14:09,545 Um... 1267 01:14:09,613 --> 01:14:11,809 So... So, yeah, the thing is... 1268 01:14:11,882 --> 01:14:13,782 Look, I made homemade Twizzlers! 1269 01:14:13,850 --> 01:14:17,411 It'll save us $180 quadrillion at the concession stand. 1270 01:14:17,487 --> 01:14:18,977 This is hard. 1271 01:14:19,056 --> 01:14:23,084 Yivo, you know how sometimes things break up? 1272 01:14:23,160 --> 01:14:24,491 - Well... - Wait, hang on. 1273 01:14:24,561 --> 01:14:26,005 I was looking for the perfect moment, 1274 01:14:26,029 --> 01:14:29,488 but what the heck, I'll burst if I wait another second. 1275 01:14:30,801 --> 01:14:31,996 [ALL EXCLAIMING] 1276 01:14:32,069 --> 01:14:33,867 ZAPP: Sweet Sally in the alley! 1277 01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:41,171 Break-up delegation, before we hear your report, 1278 01:14:41,244 --> 01:14:47,308 our grateful universe is proud to honor you with the great taste of Charleston Chew! 1279 01:14:51,254 --> 01:14:52,380 Thank you, Nixon. 1280 01:14:52,456 --> 01:14:54,652 [CLEARS THROAT] Everyone everywhere, 1281 01:14:54,725 --> 01:14:57,319 brace yourselves for the most shocking development 1282 01:14:57,394 --> 01:15:00,227 in the history of the human race. 1283 01:15:00,297 --> 01:15:04,063 The human race can bite my shiny metal ass! 1284 01:15:05,535 --> 01:15:06,866 [ALL GASP] 1285 01:15:16,179 --> 01:15:20,548 For thousands of years, robots have slaved for humanity, 1286 01:15:20,650 --> 01:15:23,278 yet when the time came to hang out with them, 1287 01:15:23,353 --> 01:15:26,015 they were all, like, "Maybe later, Bender." 1288 01:15:26,089 --> 01:15:28,751 Well, it's later now, meatbags! 1289 01:15:28,825 --> 01:15:32,352 So late, that we're taking over Earth! 1290 01:15:32,429 --> 01:15:34,591 [LAUGHING] 1291 01:15:34,664 --> 01:15:35,961 - Okay. - What? 1292 01:15:36,032 --> 01:15:37,158 We don't need it anymore. 1293 01:15:37,234 --> 01:15:40,260 Yivo proposed. We're moving in with shkler. 1294 01:15:40,337 --> 01:15:41,805 [ALL CHEERING] 1295 01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:45,199 You... You're leaving? 1296 01:15:45,275 --> 01:15:49,644 But why can't Yivo just move in with us? We'll put a cot in Europe. 1297 01:15:49,713 --> 01:15:51,374 Don't be daft, Bender. 1298 01:15:51,448 --> 01:15:55,749 Yivo can't breathe outside the electric ether of shkler own universe. 1299 01:15:55,819 --> 01:15:58,845 If shklee came here, shklee would shkluffocate. 1300 01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:00,621 No shklit? 1301 01:16:05,295 --> 01:16:06,785 [ALL GASP] 1302 01:16:06,863 --> 01:16:09,764 Look, fantastical golden escalators. 1303 01:16:09,833 --> 01:16:11,494 I love this part. 1304 01:16:13,904 --> 01:16:15,235 Wait. I didn't agree to... 1305 01:16:15,305 --> 01:16:16,305 [GRUNTS] 1306 01:16:21,344 --> 01:16:23,142 [LEELA GRUNTING] 1307 01:16:45,602 --> 01:16:47,366 [ALL GASP] 1308 01:16:49,139 --> 01:16:52,109 This place makes Nutley look like crap. 1309 01:16:57,681 --> 01:17:00,651 I'll miss you, Bender, but I have to follow my heart. 1310 01:17:00,717 --> 01:17:02,845 You and your robots take good care of Earth. 1311 01:17:02,919 --> 01:17:05,354 Here, these are the keys to the Bermuda Triangle. 1312 01:17:05,422 --> 01:17:07,550 Lock up when the world ends. 1313 01:17:08,492 --> 01:17:10,256 Goodbye, my friend. 1314 01:17:13,296 --> 01:17:14,388 Wait. 1315 01:17:14,998 --> 01:17:16,488 [WHISPERS] Let me come with you. 1316 01:17:16,566 --> 01:17:20,059 I'm sorry, Bender. Robots don't go to heaven. 1317 01:17:26,243 --> 01:17:27,870 [SADLY] Death to humans. 1318 01:17:34,184 --> 01:17:38,314 YIVO: Welcome, welcome, everyone. Oh, you look so beautiful. 1319 01:17:38,388 --> 01:17:41,983 I wish I'd had more time to straighten up. My harps are just lying everywhere. 1320 01:17:42,058 --> 01:17:45,289 Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in. 1321 01:17:45,362 --> 01:17:48,627 YIVO: Let's heat up some leftovers and then spend eternity together. 1322 01:17:48,698 --> 01:17:50,393 1 have only one request. 1323 01:17:50,467 --> 01:17:51,935 Now that you're here, 1324 01:17:52,002 --> 01:17:54,733 promise me you'll never, ever communicate 1325 01:17:54,804 --> 01:17:56,602 with any other universe. 1326 01:17:56,706 --> 01:17:58,105 We promise, Yivo. 1327 01:17:58,174 --> 01:18:02,077 As far as we're concerned, you're the only universe in the world. 1328 01:18:02,646 --> 01:18:03,738 [EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST] 1329 01:18:12,022 --> 01:18:14,457 - Has humanity called? - No, sir. 1330 01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:17,653 Check my messages. A flashing light means somebody called. 1331 01:18:17,727 --> 01:18:19,252 I know what it means. 1332 01:18:19,329 --> 01:18:21,423 [ALL LAUGHING] 1333 01:18:23,466 --> 01:18:24,490 [ANNOYED GRUNT] 1334 01:18:24,568 --> 01:18:27,003 Am I the only one who thinks this is all a sham? 1335 01:18:27,070 --> 01:18:28,128 Yes. 1336 01:18:29,005 --> 01:18:30,302 This isn't heaven. 1337 01:18:30,373 --> 01:18:33,104 It just looks exactly like it, and makes us immortal, 1338 01:18:33,176 --> 01:18:34,837 which I find suspicious. 1339 01:18:35,245 --> 01:18:37,077 YIVO: Allow me to explain. 1340 01:18:37,147 --> 01:18:41,084 Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself into the minds of your artists. 1341 01:18:41,151 --> 01:18:44,678 The heavenly clouds they painted depict a vapor I exude. 1342 01:18:46,556 --> 01:18:47,751 [FARNSWORTH SNIFFING] 1343 01:18:47,824 --> 01:18:51,385 I wish I exuded anything that smelled half that good. 1344 01:18:51,461 --> 01:18:53,259 Then what about these angels? 1345 01:18:53,330 --> 01:18:56,356 Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque flashlight projection? 1346 01:18:56,433 --> 01:18:58,800 YIVO: Actually, those are mindless jakabirds. 1347 01:18:58,868 --> 01:19:01,860 They keep my surface free of parasitic larvae. 1348 01:19:01,938 --> 01:19:03,030 [JAKABIRDS CLUCKING] 1349 01:19:04,207 --> 01:19:06,676 You didn't like Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela. 1350 01:19:06,743 --> 01:19:08,711 There's no pleasing you. 1351 01:19:09,846 --> 01:19:13,476 FRY: Dearest Bender. How are you? I am fine. 1352 01:19:13,550 --> 01:19:16,713 Everyone is happy here except Leela, but you know her. 1353 01:19:16,786 --> 01:19:19,221 She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree, either. 1354 01:19:19,289 --> 01:19:21,383 I'm so madly in love with Yivo, 1355 01:19:21,458 --> 01:19:24,428 I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake, 1356 01:19:24,494 --> 01:19:27,293 and then she moves into a tiny house on his head. 1357 01:19:27,364 --> 01:19:29,662 We have giant rubies that taste like root beer. 1358 01:19:29,733 --> 01:19:31,326 Sincerely, Fry. 1359 01:19:40,810 --> 01:19:43,040 - Letter for you, hyperlord Bender. - Give me that! 1360 01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:45,614 Honeymoon's over, eh? 1361 01:19:45,682 --> 01:19:48,083 Turns out your octopus girlfriend is a big nag 1362 01:19:48,151 --> 01:19:50,051 with curlers in her tentacles, huh? 1363 01:19:50,120 --> 01:19:53,454 Well, let's just see if Bender will take you back. 1364 01:19:55,358 --> 01:19:56,358 Oh. 1365 01:20:01,197 --> 01:20:04,861 Stupid electro-matter. That was my best trash can. 1366 01:20:04,934 --> 01:20:06,834 Pain sensor overload. 1367 01:20:10,106 --> 01:20:13,098 Misfile me under "U" For "euphoric." 1368 01:20:15,912 --> 01:20:19,871 You get an infinite number of meat dishes, and a free refill on the soda. 1369 01:20:21,484 --> 01:20:22,508 Eureka. 1370 01:20:22,585 --> 01:20:25,885 Another elementary proof of the Goldbach conjecture. 1371 01:20:26,222 --> 01:20:27,222 [BOTH EXCLAIM] 1372 01:20:28,191 --> 01:20:30,922 Okay, I admit people seem happy. 1373 01:20:30,994 --> 01:20:33,395 But it's all so wholesome. 1374 01:20:33,463 --> 01:20:35,864 And that's what's wrong with heaven. 1375 01:20:35,932 --> 01:20:38,333 It's boring. There's no sleaze. 1376 01:20:38,401 --> 01:20:42,031 - It time snu-snu. - Me like snu-snu. 1377 01:20:42,105 --> 01:20:44,836 Last one to mattress island is a rotten egg. 1378 01:20:48,044 --> 01:20:51,275 Why were we so angry and jealous back in our universe? 1379 01:20:51,348 --> 01:20:54,648 I don't know. It was all so childish. 1380 01:20:54,884 --> 01:20:56,374 [SPLASHING] 1381 01:20:56,453 --> 01:20:58,114 Look, it's Leela. 1382 01:20:58,188 --> 01:20:59,781 - Hi, Leela. - Hi, Leela. 1383 01:21:00,590 --> 01:21:04,458 I'm sorry you're not happy here, Leela. I'll call you an escalator. 1384 01:21:04,527 --> 01:21:07,326 You'll always be my little purple pumpkin. 1385 01:21:07,564 --> 01:21:08,622 [SIGHS] 1386 01:21:08,698 --> 01:21:10,029 You know, Yivo, 1387 01:21:10,100 --> 01:21:14,037 I've loved and lost so many times that I was afraid. 1388 01:21:14,137 --> 01:21:15,730 But I'm not anymore. 1389 01:21:15,805 --> 01:21:17,864 I want to stay here, with you. 1390 01:21:17,941 --> 01:21:20,376 [ALL EXCLAIMING HAPPILY] 1391 01:21:21,678 --> 01:21:22,770 [ALL GASPING] 1392 01:21:22,846 --> 01:21:23,870 YIVO: Ow! Ow! 1393 01:21:23,947 --> 01:21:25,312 What's happening? 1394 01:21:26,382 --> 01:21:27,440 YIVO: Hey! 1395 01:21:31,588 --> 01:21:32,953 [YIVO GROANING] 1396 01:21:45,435 --> 01:21:49,599 If robots can't go to heaven, heaven can come to us. 1397 01:21:49,672 --> 01:21:50,901 [ALL GRUNTING] 1398 01:21:53,009 --> 01:21:54,499 [GROANING] 1399 01:22:00,183 --> 01:22:01,912 All hands abaft. 1400 01:22:01,985 --> 01:22:05,751 Army of the damned, prepare to board heaven. 1401 01:22:07,624 --> 01:22:09,422 [ALL SHOUTING] 1402 01:22:17,400 --> 01:22:18,400 [SCREAMS] 1403 01:22:19,068 --> 01:22:20,502 [YIVO EXCLAIMING IN PAIN] 1404 01:22:21,771 --> 01:22:24,206 Take that, you scurvy Kraken. 1405 01:22:24,274 --> 01:22:27,369 That'll teach you to despoil our human booty. 1406 01:22:27,444 --> 01:22:29,173 [LAUGHING] 1407 01:22:29,245 --> 01:22:30,474 [EXCLAIMS] 1408 01:22:32,382 --> 01:22:33,975 Hello, big beak. 1409 01:22:40,657 --> 01:22:41,920 Too slow. 1410 01:22:42,091 --> 01:22:43,684 Missed me again. 1411 01:22:44,794 --> 01:22:47,229 [GROANING] Me footcup. 1412 01:22:47,864 --> 01:22:48,990 I'll stab you. 1413 01:22:49,065 --> 01:22:50,065 [BENDER EXCLAIMING] 1414 01:22:50,166 --> 01:22:54,899 - Bender, stop destroying heaven. - Shut up, doofy. I'm rescuing you. 1415 01:22:55,939 --> 01:22:57,270 [BENDER YELPS] 1416 01:22:57,507 --> 01:23:00,602 Leave my living beings alone! I love them. 1417 01:23:00,710 --> 01:23:04,374 Something you, a lifeless mechanism, will never understand. 1418 01:23:04,447 --> 01:23:08,941 He's right, Bender. Please, take your little pink sword and go home. 1419 01:23:09,052 --> 01:23:10,451 Seriously? 1420 01:23:10,520 --> 01:23:14,252 But, I did this whole pirate-themed attack for you. 1421 01:23:14,324 --> 01:23:16,986 Wait a second. Let me see that sword. 1422 01:23:17,627 --> 01:23:20,653 Fry, where did he get this electro-matter? 1423 01:23:21,264 --> 01:23:22,425 Um... 1424 01:23:22,498 --> 01:23:24,796 [COUGHING] Is it dry up here? 1425 01:23:24,868 --> 01:23:26,597 How could you, Fry? 1426 01:23:27,036 --> 01:23:30,404 Why do you think I asked you not to contact other universes? 1427 01:23:30,473 --> 01:23:33,033 - [STAMMERING] I didn't think... - No, you didn't. 1428 01:23:33,109 --> 01:23:37,068 You broke your promise and you broke my heart. 1429 01:23:37,146 --> 01:23:39,376 Just go. All of you. 1430 01:23:41,551 --> 01:23:44,020 [ALL EXCLAIMING] 1431 01:23:47,190 --> 01:23:49,454 [ALL EXCLAIMING] 1432 01:23:49,626 --> 01:23:50,626 Ow! 1433 01:23:52,028 --> 01:23:53,860 I must leave now. 1434 01:23:53,930 --> 01:23:57,161 The nature of your universe is burning me, 1435 01:23:57,233 --> 01:23:59,463 even worse than my gonorrhea. 1436 01:23:59,536 --> 01:24:01,436 You should get checked, by the way. 1437 01:24:01,504 --> 01:24:05,998 If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate. 1438 01:24:06,075 --> 01:24:09,101 Let me go with you. It'll be just the two of us. 1439 01:24:09,178 --> 01:24:11,010 We'll make a fire and play Uno. 1440 01:24:11,080 --> 01:24:12,673 Fry, stop. 1441 01:24:12,749 --> 01:24:16,014 - That's who we were, not who we are. - But... 1442 01:24:16,085 --> 01:24:20,044 My only consolation is that I did find one among the quadrillions 1443 01:24:20,123 --> 01:24:22,148 who truly understands me. 1444 01:24:23,726 --> 01:24:24,921 Colleen? 1445 01:24:24,994 --> 01:24:28,157 - Wait a second, are you and Yivo... - That's right, Fry. 1446 01:24:28,231 --> 01:24:30,063 Thank you for introducing us. 1447 01:24:30,133 --> 01:24:33,865 Yivo has taught me what a narrow-minded prude I was before. 1448 01:24:33,937 --> 01:24:36,804 Oh, great. So what am I supposed to do now? 1449 01:24:36,873 --> 01:24:37,931 Go home. 1450 01:24:38,007 --> 01:24:40,908 Find a girl from your own universe and live on top of her. 1451 01:24:40,977 --> 01:24:42,001 [EXCLAIMS] 1452 01:24:42,078 --> 01:24:43,512 Saved you. 1453 01:24:48,384 --> 01:24:49,977 [GROANING] 1454 01:25:03,666 --> 01:25:04,690 [SIGHS] 1455 01:25:04,767 --> 01:25:06,531 Maybe Yivo was right. 1456 01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:09,799 Maybe I should look for love closer to home. 1457 01:25:09,872 --> 01:25:13,740 - I don't know, Leela, you think maybe... - Oh, please. 1458 01:25:13,810 --> 01:25:16,370 You forgot me quick enough when you met Colleen. 1459 01:25:16,446 --> 01:25:17,845 That's true. 1460 01:25:17,914 --> 01:25:20,349 - How about you, Amy? - [SCOFFS] Fry... 1461 01:25:20,416 --> 01:25:23,249 - I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru. - Are you? 1462 01:25:23,319 --> 01:25:26,482 Well, then perhaps you misunderstood the meaning of the term. 1463 01:25:26,556 --> 01:25:30,015 It means, "One who doesn't sleep with my superior officer." 1464 01:25:30,093 --> 01:25:31,925 That's the literal translation. 1465 01:25:31,995 --> 01:25:35,522 Give the poor girl a break, Kif. It's not like she had a dictionary. 1466 01:25:35,598 --> 01:25:38,090 She was butt naked, for God's sakes. 1467 01:25:38,267 --> 01:25:39,393 [GROANS] 1468 01:25:39,902 --> 01:25:42,064 So, Wernstrom, 1469 01:25:42,138 --> 01:25:46,166 did you happen to notice those mighty cables Bender used on Yivo? 1470 01:25:46,242 --> 01:25:47,710 Pure diamondium. 1471 01:25:47,777 --> 01:25:51,475 More like pure crap-crapium. No wonder Yivo got away. 1472 01:25:51,748 --> 01:25:53,079 [LAUGHING] 1473 01:25:53,149 --> 01:25:54,149 [GROANING] 1474 01:25:54,217 --> 01:25:55,878 [ALL ARGUING] 1475 01:25:59,422 --> 01:26:00,753 [WHISTLE BLOWING] 1476 01:26:01,157 --> 01:26:02,921 Captain on deck. 1477 01:26:02,992 --> 01:26:04,687 At ease, buckos. 1478 01:26:04,761 --> 01:26:07,753 Bender, why did you do it? We were all so happy. 1479 01:26:07,830 --> 01:26:09,161 And we were in love. 1480 01:26:09,232 --> 01:26:12,668 - [SCOFFS] That wasn't love. - What? How can you say that? 1481 01:26:12,735 --> 01:26:15,227 Because Bender knows love. 1482 01:26:15,304 --> 01:26:18,569 And love doesn't share itself with the world. 1483 01:26:18,641 --> 01:26:21,667 Love is suspicious, love is needy, 1484 01:26:21,744 --> 01:26:24,770 love is fearful, love is greedy. 1485 01:26:25,081 --> 01:26:30,645 My friends, there is no great love without great jealousy. 1486 01:26:32,622 --> 01:26:35,057 I love you, meatbags. 1487 01:27:17,266 --> 01:27:18,811 Twenty-four... I'm gonna get twenty-four... 1488 01:27:18,835 --> 01:27:21,304 I'm gonna get twenty-fourth century on his ass 109154

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