All language subtitles for 1 Alias Jesse James (1959) ENGLISHripdf

¶ Out West where men
were brave and bold

¶ The most exciting story told

¶ Is all about a stranger
Who lived a life of danger

¶ And he loved
that shining gold

¶ Jesse James was his name

¶ Jesse James was his name

¶ Let me tell you now

¶ Before a guy
could reach his gun

¶ He'd rob the stage
as it went by

¶ And just as sure as Hades
He'd kiss the lovely ladies

¶ And you ought
to hear him sigh

¶ Jesse James was his name

¶ Jesse James was his name

¶ Oh, yeah, well,
a trigger-happy guy was he

¶ As fast as any guy could be

¶ I'll lay you two to one, man

¶ Not another gunman

¶ Was half as fast as he

¶ Jesse James was his name

¶ He made a lot of friends
But there the story ends

¶ 'Cause all good gunmen die

¶ Jesse James was his name
Was his name

¶ Jesse James was his name
Was his name ¶

MAN: The wealth and might
that is America today

is reflected in its farms,

its factories,
its banking institutions

and certainly in its various
mammoth insurance companies.

These gigantic corporations

owned by
millions of stockholders
and policy holders

have, since the beginning
of our country,

been an integral part
of our life.

Untold thousands of Americans
have received their educations

through the benefits
of insurance policies.

Millions of American families
have been raised partially,

or entirely,

on a monthly check from
their insurance company,

and the history
of the expansion
of these institutions

could almost be the history
of the expansion
of America itself.

But, vast as the resources
and holdings

of these mighty companies
are today,

each is the result
of great pioneering courage

and perseverance
of these great founders.

And who deserves
much of the credit

for the evolution
of these companies

from their simple beginnings
into their present size?

It is no one
but that almost forgotten,

hardworking door-to-door
insurance salesman,

to whom we respectfully
dedicate this picture.

The time is the early 1880s.

The place is New York City.

The occasion is
a sales meeting
of the employees

of the Plymouth Rock
Insurance Company.

Yes. Now, may I have
the other charts,
Miss Raskin?

Let's see how
you other gentlemen
have done.

Crimshaw.
Oh, yes, yes.

You've done
an admirable job, Crimshaw.

You dipped a little
there in May,

but I see you
bounced back up,

and you'll soon have a leg
on the gold watch.

Yes.

Now...

Well. Hastings!
You're right up there,
aren't you?

You keep this up
and you're well
on your way

to that free weekend
at Coney Island.

Why, this is amazing.

Oh.

Farnsworth.

Farnsworth, when are you ever
gonna sell a policy?

May I remind you, sir,
that just two weeks ago,

I turned in a signed policy
for a Miss Elfrida Bennett?

Which was rejected.

On a medical technicality.

Yes, a slight technicality.

When the doctor arrived
to examine her, she was dead.

Well, we've got to get
a faster doctor.

A 30-year endowment policy
on a woman 98 years old.

Well, she lied
about her age.

And much as I dislike
tooting my own horn, sir,

I was solely responsible
for the sale
of Plymouth Rock's

first marine policy,

issued on the new
schooner Nantucket.

Please, please,
don't remind me
of that launching.

I can still see
the bubbles.

How did I know
the anchor was heavier
than the boat?

Milford, I've given this
a lot of thought,

and I think this company
can get along

very well without you.

Turn in your key
to the washroom.

Well, can't I even have
visiting privileges?

Farnsworth, I'm curious.

What do you expect to achieve
with such crass ineptitude,

such utter incompetence,
such colossal stupidity?

Well, I was hoping
to become your assistant.

Sorry you couldn't get in
yesterday, Milford.

We all missed
your nickel.

Charlie, have you thought
any more about that insurance?

Some other time.

Sullivan beat Gentleman Jim?
He hasn't a chance.

Yeah? That's
what they said

when they matched him up
against Paddy Ryan.

Well, you can see their legs
clear up to the knees,
I tell you.

Yeah? What'd you say
they called themselves?

The Gibson Girls.

Clear up to the knees.
I tell you, it's enough
to drive you mad.

If you're talking about
the Kansas City bank,

he got away with $25,000.

Jesse James wouldn't
pull a gun
out of his holster

for 25,000.
The bank said...

Pardon me, gentlemen,

the exact amount
was $33,228.33.

MAN: (WHISPERING)
That's Jesse James!

Whiskey.

Forget it.

(STAMMERING)
It's on the house.

Charlie, if you're going
to buy any insurance,

today is the day.
I've got to make a sale.

Later, Milford. Later.

Charlie, there is no later
with insurance.

You can't put off
till tomorrow
what may strike you today.

Please, Milford,
not now.

No, you're taking
a lot of chances.

You got a lot of money
laying around here.

Milord...

I mean,
cash for your payroll,

cash for your customers,
money in the till.

This place is a gold mine.

Have another sandwich.
No charge.

Now what's to prevent somebody
from walking in here

and pressing the cold barrel
of a .45 against your temple?

Very little.

Yeah, one shot
and your wife is an orphan.

But not with
Plymouth Rock Insurance.

You can leave her
5,000, 10,000,

anything you want.

And when your time comes,

you'll find yourself
slipping away

with a smile on your lips
and a song in your heart.

You got to think
about that.

That's the way to go,
you know.

You got to think.

Please.
Watch out, kid.

Charlie...
I wanna talk to you.

You'll have to
excuse us, sir.

This is a
private conversation

between the two of us,
if you don't mind.

You two may not finish.

I'm interested
in slipping away

with a smile on my lips
and a song in my heart.

I'll have my drink
over at the table here.

This may be a hot one.

You caught me just
at the right time.

I think I have
one policy left.

Pleased to be of service
to you, sir. My card.

What is a Milford Farnsworth?

Oh, that's me.
That's my name.

I'm Milford Farnsworth.

All right.

Oh, no. Whiskey is
the weak man's crutch.

Now,
we at Plymouth Rock
are honored

to have been chosen
by you, Mister...

James. TJ James.
Oh, yes.

I'd like to hear a little more
about this insurance.

As l understand it,

your company is willing
to bet me on how long
I'll live?

And they'll take the short end
by betting I'll live
a long time?

Yeah. I guess you could
put it that way.

Well, if I'm dead,
how do l know
I'll get paid off?

My good man,
the Plymouth Rock
Insurance Company

wouldn't be in business
two minutes

if they didn't make good
on their policies.

Just so long as we
understand each other.

Now, who gets the money?

Well, your wife,
your mother, whatever
loved one you designate.

Well, then you take out
your pencil and paper
and start writing.

The money goes
to Miss Cora Lee Collins.

Cora Lee Collins.

Angel's Rest, Missouri.

Angel's Rest, Missouri.

And what is her
relationship to you?

Loved one.

I don't think the company
has that classification.

Well, make it wife.
She will be.

Now, how much money
is your company
prepared to put up?

Well, we're prepared
to go as high
as you want to go.

That's 1,000,
5,000, 10,000...

Well, let's say 100,000.

Yeah, let's say that. Oh.

Well, how would you like
to make the payments?

Would that be quarterly,
or semi-annually?

I'll pay it all now.
You'll pay it all...

No, no, you don't
understand.

See, that's about $33,000.

100,000. That's
the premium and I...

Yeah, well,
just keep the change.

Yeah.

(COUGHING)

You just wait here

and I'll run
across the street
to the doctor's

and arrange
for your physical.

Don't you take any
drinks or anything.

You look fine
just as you are.

Good morning, Mr. Quesely.
You remember me?

With deep horror.

I hope you haven't had
the lock in the washroom
changed,

because I'm gonna be
around here
for quite a while.

You have 30 seconds to leave
before your beneficiaries
cash in.

Mr. Quesely.
I sold a policy.

Ten seconds.

And get that trash
off my desk.

Mr. Quesely, do you know
what's in that bag?

It better be something
you can defend yourself with,
Farnsworth.

There's $33,000
in that bag.

Farnsworth,
do you feel all right?

It represents
the premium paid in full

on an insurance policy
of $100,000.

I suggest that this
be counted

and turned over
to the auditor at once.

Here's the policy,
if you'd like
to look it over, sir.

Why certainly, sir.
I mean, Milford.

Yeah, let's see now.

"Mr. TJ James,
beneficiary
Miss Cora Lee Collins,

"in the amount of

"$100,000."

Well, who is this
Mr. TJ James, my boy?

Oh, he's quite an operator.

But what
are his sources of income?

Well, naturally I didn't
pry into any details.

Naturally.
But I gathered from him

that he's well known
in railroad and banking
circles.

Well, this is too big
to fool with.

Better set up an appointment
for his physical.

Oh, I'm afraid
it's too late for that.

Mr. James left last night
on the train.

But I had Doc Bishop

rush him through right away.
Here's the medical.

I promised you'd send him
a box of cigars.

Send them?
I'll take them over myself.

(QUESELY LAUGHING)

Here's the morning paper,
Mr. Quesely.

Miss Raskin,
how many times have I told you

not to interrupt me
in conference?

And never, never

when I'm with our
star salesman, Mr. Farnsworth.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Just a minute,
Miss Raskin.

How much have you been
drawing a week, Milford?

Oh, $7.50.

Raise that to $10.
And do you have the $25 bonus

that I told you
to draw for Milford
this morning? Good.

See that he gets it
right away.

Now, Farnsy, my boy,

I am going to carry the ball
from here on in.

You take the rest
of the day off.

Oh, but it's a working day.

It's a day to celebrate.

Go on to the beach.
Take a ride on
the new elevated.

You've earned it. Go on.
Get out of here. Scat.

(CHUCKLES)

Farnsworth! Farnsworth!

Another bonus?

Farnsworth.

Funny, I have a feeling
I've seen that face before.

Farnsworth, is that
or is that not

the man to whom
you sold a $100,000
life insurance policy?

I told you,

I thought his face
was familiar.

Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

Funny thing,
not once during
the whole evening

did he mention
that he was
a notorious killer.

Will you shut up?

Farnsworth, you're gonna take
the next train west.

What?

You're going to return
this money to James

and make him give up
that policy.

Me, make him?

And if James refuses
to return that policy,

you are to remain
by his side forever,

to protect our interest.

You are to ride with him,
eat with him, sleep with him.

At the slightest sign
of danger,

you are to lay down your life
to protect his.

Go.
But, Mr. Quesely,

I'm liable to get killed.

Stop trying to cheer me up.

And I knew the minute
I saw you

that you were
responsible gentlemen,

men who are keenly aware

of your financial obligations
to your family and estate.

Now, no other policy
can give you the protection

that this one can.

And you don't have to worry
about the cost.

Your wampum can be divided
into 12 easy wamps.

Well, that's my story.
Are you sold?

No? But I've explained
everything.

Believe me,
you can't go wrong
with Plymouth Rock.

Why won't you buy?
Give me one reason.

Foreigners.

They're foreigners.

(TRAIN GRINDING TO A HALT)

JESSE: All right,
everybody. Reach!

FRANK: All right,
let's get 'em up.

Come on, now.
Get out the money
and the valuables.

Come on.

All right,
get 'em out.
FINN: You heard what he said.

You got anything?

You sure?

You wouldn't fool me?

Hmm.

What is that,
a gold tongue?

Now, let's have
the rest of it.

That's it.
There's a good boy.

Now, let's have
the rest of it.

That's all there is.

Oh.

What's that?
Oh, that's just my girdle.

Oh, it's your girdle.
I'm wearing it
a little loose this...

Oh...

Say, that'll just fit me.

But I'm supposed to give
that money to somebody.

You just did.

Did you ever hear of a man
called Jesse James?

Who's he?

Well, he happens to be
a very close friend of mine

that I'm gonna visit.

How do you think
he's gonna feel
when he finds out

how you treated me?

Heartbroken.

All right, boys,
let's get out of here.

Didn't I hand you $1
when we left New York?

Yes, sir. Right here.

Well, thanks for keeping
an eye on it for me.

Say, where can I
find Jesse James?

I wanna talk to him
about a robbery.

There's a guy here,
wants to see Jesse
about a robbery.

Hey, open up. I want
to send a telegram.

I don't know what I've got,
but I hope there's a cure
for it.

Jesse,

a stranger in town
wants to see you
about a robbery.

Thanks a lot.

Take care of that, Frank.
Not too rough.

Just get him out of town.

That's New York.
Send it collect.

Man could get
a cheap nose job here.

Hey, where can I
find Jesse James?

Never heard of him.

I'll find him.

I just got to figure out
what a man like Jesse'd
be doing

at this time of day.

It's for my new number.

You like it?

Yeah. Sure do like it,
Cora Lee, honey.

My, you're as pretty
as a new bank.

Please, Jesse.

Don't ruin it before
I've had a chance
to wear it.

Well, buy another one,
if that's all
that's bothering you.

I'm sorry.

I guess all women
feel that way

about a new dress.

Maybe so.

Oh, I forgot...

I got you something.

Looks mighty expensive.

Yeah, I'd of got it
for you sooner,

but the train
didn't come through
till this morning.

Thank you.

You got to keep it.
We're gonna get married,
aren't we?

(SIGHS)

I'd like to think about it.

You thought about it
long enough.

I'm getting tired of waiting.

Ma's coming in today.

She's gonna make
the arrangements.

You always get
what you want,
don't you, Jesse?

Always.

Cora Lee Collins.

Cora Lee Collins.
I thought that name
sounded familiar.

Jesse's beneficiary.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Howdy.

Hi.

Hi, sir.

Nice day for drinking.

Wasn't it?

What'll you have?

Oh, I'd like
some information.

We sell liquor here, boy.

Oh.

I'll take what he's having.

Do you know where l could find
a Miss Cora Lee Collins?

She works here
at night.

If you're still
here by then,

you'll see her.

(SNIFFS)

You should have
a wick in this.

What's the matter,

don't you like the
liquor I'm drinking?

Yeah. It's okay.

Why don't you drink it?

(HICCUPS)

(WHISTLING)

(WHISTLING)

(CLEARS THROAT)
That'll be 50 cents.

(COUGHS)

(WHISTLING)

Here's your change.

Lucky I didn't have
a bigger bill.

(BLEATING)

I hit it. Struck it rich.
The drinks are on me.

ALL: Hooray!

What'll it be?

Some of that.

You drink that
all the time?

Ever since
the goat went dry.

A man like you
needs protection.

Now my company
is willing to bet you

on how long
you're gonna live,

and we'll take
the short end
by betting you

you'll live a long time.

Really?
That's the Plymouth Rock.

Fill them up again.
Where do I make the bet?

You just sign right there.

And the bet's on as soon
as you pass the physical.

How are you fixed?

Hey, Grigsby!

You double-crossing varmint!
You jumped my claim!

He'll never pass
the physical.

All right, drink up,
everybody.

Anybody doesn't drink with me
is a dead man.

(WHISTLING)

(WHISTLES)

Well, what're you
gonna do?

Oh, I can't play.
I don't have
any money.

That's better
than money.

Oh. Well, as long
as it's a friendly game.

(WHISTLING)

I'm out.

Me, too.

I pass.

Me, too.

How many?

I'll stand pat.

I'll suffer through.

Give me three.

Three.

(HUMS)

Give me three cards.

I just gave you three.

I didn't like those.

Oh.

That's better.
Now give me two.

Hope you find
something you like soon.

I'm running out of deck.

That's fine. I got
all l need now.

What do you do?

Oh, I think I'll take one.

You was pat.

Yeah.

Fair is fair.

Anything I can't stand,
it's cheating at cards.

Me, neither.

Another thing
I can't stand is killing.

FRANK: Well, now, killing
in this town'll get you
90 days.

Cheating'll get you shot.

That's what I like.
Law and order.

I bet two stacks.

Oh, I can't go any further.
I haven't got any more money.

Why, sure you have.

What're you fellas with,
a laundry?

The pants.

I didn't think the stakes
were that low.

All right, there you are.

I call you.

Four queens.

Wait a minute.
I didn't see 'em.

Mister, if you don't find
four queens in that deck,

I'll give you
your money back.

Hold it.

I got you beat anyway.
I got four kings.

All right,
let's see 'em.

I said, let's see 'em.

There.

If you don't find
four kings in that goat,

I'll give you
your money back.

Why, you cheating tinhorn.

Hold it.

Don't anybody make a move
or I'll blow my brains out.

You've all had
your little joke.

Now I'm giving the orders.

Okay. Give me my shirt.

Here, hold my coat.
Give me my pants.

Here, hold my gun.
You don't know who you're...

Where have I failed?

One thing I know,

a Westerner never shot
a man in the back.

Oh. Wait till I tell
the Chamber of Commerce
about this.

(MEN LAUGHING)

CORA LEE: I'll be
right there, Ma.

(EXCLAIMING)

What are you
doing in here?

Oh, I'm with the fire
department, ma'am.

Just checking
safety regulations.

Yep. Yeah, it'll burn.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Yeah. Oh, that'll burn.

I'm sorry.

It's very warm.

Get 'em up.

That's what I'm trying to do.

If l was you,
I'd get out of this town.

Do you know
whose room that was

you just come out of?

No.
Jesse James' gal.

Oh. Do you know who I am?

No.
Thanks. When's the next
train leave?

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

That city fellow sent
this telegram a while ago.

Well, so he wired his boss
for more money.

Maybe we better be
nice to him
till he gets here.

Where is this Farnsworth?

I just put him
on the train, Jesse.

Don't worry,

I'm used to getting things
off that train.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

(TRAIN GRINDING TO A HALT)

(ALL CHATTERING)

Why, it's Jesse James.

Put 'em down. Put 'em down.
This one's on me.

Hiya, Milford.

Hiya, Jesse.
I've been looking
all over for you.

I've been looking for you.

Come on, we're going back.

We're miles from town.

Oh, I got a horse waiting.

Yeah?

He's my client.

Ma, I want you to meet
a friend of mine.

From New York.
His name is
Milford Farnsworth.

I'll go get
your room ready.

Howdy, son,
and welcome.

Pleased to know you.

Mighty fine place
you have here.

Well, I guess I'll be
running along.

Oh, it's you.

(LAUGHING) I didn't
recognize you
with your pants on.

(SHUSHING)

Not so loud, please.

It's all right.
The boys told me
all about it.

They was just
joking with you.

They're kind of playful.

Yes.

You come on in with me.

I'll fix you a cup
of raspberry tea.

Oh, don't let me interrupt
your housework.

Oh, don't fret.

I already done
the big pieces.

I'm always cleaning up
after the boys.

They're so careless.

It's important to keep
a gun clean, you know.

Oh, I know. A guy can
get blood poisoning

from getting killed
with a dirty bullet.

This here's our game room.

Who's playing here tonight,
Smith and Wesson?

Jesse got that for me
when he was just a boy.

I used to send him
to the museum.

Imagine.
A little kid like that,
soaking up culture,

no matter what it weighed.

Sport model?

What's this?

That's one of
Jesse's hobbies.

He collects gold watches.

He's got enough there
to open a store.

Probably how he
got most of them.

Milford, your room's
ready for you.

Say, I sure appreciate
your letting me stay here

where l can keep
an eye on you.

I gotta make sure
nothing happens to you.

I gotta make sure
nothing happens to you.

Hey! Here's a little present
for you.

Really? For me?
Gee, thanks, Jesse.

Hey, and you had it
engraved, too.

I did?

Yeah. "To Milford Farnsworth
from his grandfather."

(BAND PLAYING COUNTRY MUSIC)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

And Cora Lee.
How nice.

Hello, Ma.

What a pretty dress.

You look mighty pretty
yourself.
Thank you, dear.

Come on in
to the house.

Evening,
Miss Cora Lee.

Evening, Cole.

Hello, Hannah.

Frank, here's Cora Lee.

Good evening, Cora Lee.
Good evening, Frank.

Nice to see you.
Thank you.

Pardon me,
will you?
Mmm-hmm.

MA: Oh, Mr. Farnsworth.

How do you do?

I believe you two
have met.

Oh, yes.

How are things
at the firehouse?
Well, not too good.

They found a sliver
in the pole.

I'll go get you two
something to drink.

Say, I want to apologize
for breaking in
on you like that.

Oh, that's all right.
I guess you lost
your head.

That's not all I lost.

They do play a rough
game of poker
in this town.

It's lucky I quit.
My next bet
would've been skin.

Come in. Welcome
to the party.

Come right on in
and make yourselves
comfortable.

Oh, hiya, Milford.
Some party, eh?

Oh, Cora Lee, honey.
Would you do the honors?

I'll fetch the cigars.

Milford Farnsworth,
this is Luke Hutchins,

our mayor of Angel's Rest.

Hi, Mayor.

Welcome to our town.

It's yours for the asking.

And this is Jeremiah Cole,
our village blacksmith.

Oh, well, who's watching
the chestnut tree?

Mighty glad to know you.

Thank you very much.

You can quit pumping.

I think we got
a pretty good blaze
going.

And over here we have
Mortimer Hobclaw.

Mr. Hobclaw's
our undertaker.

How do you do?

How are you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I meet so few people
standing up.

You can take
inventory later.

Say, you have some mighty
interesting people
here in Missouri.

That's very good.
What is your name, son?

Harry Truman.

Keep playing.
You'll help the party.

Shall we try the porch?
It might be cooler.

Is this your first trip west,
Mr. Farnsworth?

Yes, I've always wanted
to open up this territory

for my insurance firm.

Oh, you're in insurance.

Deeper than you think.

Is Mrs. Farnsworth
here with you?

No. She's too old
to travel this far.

Besides, she wouldn't want
to leave Dad alone.

Oh, I know
what you mean.

No. I guess
I'm what you'd call
an eligible bachelor.

Oh.

Well, I guess there's no harm
in a man taking his time

before embarking
on a sea of matrimony.

As long as he doesn't wait

till he's too old
to make the trip.

Oh, Ahwahnee.

This is Princess Ahwahnee.
Mr. Farnsworth, dear.

An Indian Princess.

Do I curtsy or just
tip my scalp?

How do you do?

If you don't see
what you want,

just ask for it.

Your eyes,

they should be
on a woman.

Yeah. They usually are.

Well, I see
you've made a conquest.

Well, this is
pretty strange
for me out here.

Different than New York?

Well, you could walk
for days through
Central Park

without seeing an Indian.

Really?

I'll get you a drink.

No, thanks.

How about something to eat?

No, thank you.

Would you care to dance?

Mmm-mmm.

Well, that doesn't leave
very much.

Hey, Cora Lee,
how about it?

All right.

(BAND PLAYING BLUEGRASS MUSIC)

¶ It's a mighty pretty evening
for a barbecue

¶ Got the banjos out
to plunk a bar or two

¶ Moon is shining bright
And there's a star or two

¶ And I can smell
the donuts and the pie

¶ But I just ain't a-hankering
for banjo plunking

¶ Ain't a-hankering
for pumpkin pie

¶ Ain't a-hankering
for donut dunking

¶ There's something else
entirely on my mind

¶ Oh, there's something else
entirely on my mind

¶ And it ain't cotton picking

¶ And it ain't berry pie

¶ And it ain't eating chicken

¶ There's something else
entirely on my mind

¶ Oh, there's something else
entirely on my mind

¶ I'll bet that
Broadway's all lit up

¶ And Central Park's in bloom

¶ Swell hotels with belles
a-smelling from perfume

¶ Folks a-grabbing hansom cabs
to see Grant's Tomb

¶ And the carousel is swell
at Coney Isle

¶ But I just

¶ Ain't a-hankering
to see trees blooming

¶ Ain't a-hankering
to see swell styles

¶ Ain't a-hankering
to go Grant's-Tombing

¶ There's something else
entirely on my mind

¶ Yeah, there's something else
entirely on my mind

(HUMMING)
¶ And it ain't hansom cabbing

¶ And it ain't Coney Isle

¶ And it ain't
brass ring-grabbing

¶ Oh, there's something else
entirely on my mind

BOTH: ¶ Oh, there's
something else entirely

¶ on my mind ¶

(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)

Everything all right, Frank?

Just like a
church social.

I told the boys
to lay off
the rough stuff.

Him. Butter wouldn't melt
in his mouth.

Maybe butter's not
what he's after, Jesse.

Forget it, Frank.

Okay. She's not my gal.

Relax. Milford's our friend.

Till the dough comes.

Till the dough comes,

then we won't need
Mr. Farnsworth anymore.

Okay, Jesse.
Just let me know.

Let you know?

Yeah, you have all the fun.
Let me have this one, huh?

Well, I'd better say
goodnight to Jesse.

Jesse.
You have to leave so soon?

I must.
I'm a working girl,
you know.

Yeah, but not for long.

Oh, Milford,
I gotta take care
of my other guests.

Would you mind
showing Cora Lee
back to town?

I'd be happy to, Jesse.

Good night, honey.

Good night, Jesse.

You don't need to, Milford.

Out here, you know,
women aren't quite
that helpless.

(SCREAMS)

Don't move.

There.

Boy, the mice grow pretty big
out here, don't they?

That was a Gila monster.
They're deadly.

Really?

You're a very brave man.

Why? For just killing
a little old Gila monster?

I know. But with
a rattlesnake?

(RATTLING)
Yeah...

(EXCLAIMS)

Come on,
I'll take you home.

Later we'll toss to see
who takes me home.

I won't have it, Son.

I tell you,
I won't have it.

I already told you, Ma.
There's nothing
I can do about it.

I've got a position
in this community,

and I'm gonna do
the best I can to uphold it.

I declare, Jesse,

you're the most
stubborn son
a mother ever had.

I'll leave it
to anybody.

Oh, Mr. Farnsworth.

Oh, evening, ma'am.
I was just on my way
up to my room.

I wish you'd help me
talk some sense

into this
fool son of mine.

He's bent on having
a gunfight tomorrow
at dawn.

Oh, you shouldn't do that.

'Course not.

I won't have him leaving
without breakfast.

I wish you'd quit
babying me, Ma.

Snake Brice is in town,

boasting he's gonna
shoot me down.

What do you
expect me to do?

Eat a good breakfast.

Your pa never went out
shooting folks

on an empty stomach.

You remind me
of my own mother.

Besides,
it's damp at dawn,

and Jesse's liable
to get pneumonia
before he gets killed.

"Killed"?
Hey, we got to
talk about this.

What about the policy?

We'll talk about it
after the shooting.

No, that may be too late.

Promise me you'll
wear your rubbers
if it's damp, Son?

Sure, Ma.

And remember to take
a clean handkerchief.

Stop fretting, Ma.
I won't go
without my breakfast.

Well, I better get to sleep.

Man says he's gonna
gun you at dawn,

you want to be there.

Jesse's a good boy.

You mean you're gonna
let him go?

It's his work.

It's like being a doctor.

If somebody wants you,
you gotta go,

any time of
the day or night.

Know what I mean?

QUESELY:
Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

(JESSE SNORING)

(CLANGING)

(GROWLING)

All right, I'm getting tired
of your ugly face.

Go for your guns.

Don't move.
I got the drop on you.

(ROOSTER CROWING)

Come on, get going.

Jesse, somebody turned
the horses loose.
What?

Somebody turned
the horses loose.

Well, round 'em up.

I've been robbed.

(NEIGHS)

Here's the chance
you been waiting for, Snake.

Jesse's in town.

I'll be ready soon as I
finish my breakfast.

I'm ready.

(NEIGHING)

You wait in the stable.
I'll take it from here.

Anything I hate,
it's a brave horse.

You go rest.
I may be heavier
on the trip home.

Okay, Jesse,

I'm gonna give you a break.

You draw first.

I knew you was yellow, Jesse.

But it ain't
gonna do you no good.

Draw.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Why, that's the fastest draw
Jesse ever made.

I never even seen
his hands touch his guns.

Neither did I.
No.

Nice shooting, Jesse.

Hey, wait a minute,
that's not Jesse.

That's Milford.

MAN: Milford?

I hope that
teaches him a lesson.

If he's not
out of town by noon,

I'll wing him again.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

What's all
the shooting about?

Snake Brice
was looking for Jesse.

Jesse get him?

No, but Milford did.

Milford?

He's got the fastest
hat alive.

Tell him I want to see him.

All right.

Have you been hit?

Calm yourself, missy.
I feel fine.

You're sure you're all right?

Yup.

You put on Jesse's clothes?
And you faced Snake Brice?

Yup. Yup.

You outdrew him.
You shot him down.

You're a gunslinger.

Yup. Yup. Nope.

Then why did you do it?
Well, I had to.

It was either him
or me or Jesse.

But what does Jesse
mean to you?

Jesse means
everything to me.

I got him insured
for $100,000.

But I don't have to
tell you that.

After all, you're
his beneficiary.

His what?

You mean to say
you didn't know

that if Jesse gets killed,
you get $100,000?

Why would Jesse arrange
a thing like that?

You can answer that
better than me.

After all, you're
his girl, aren't you?

Well, aren't you?

Jesse doesn't ask
questions.

If he wants something,
he just takes it.

And who's gonna argue
with him? Are you?

Well, it hadn't occurred
to me before,

but now that you
mentioned it, nope.

Milford. Milford,
will you do
something for me?

Something I want
very much?

Well, I reckon that depends.

Now, what was it
you wanted?

Get out of town.

You sure got a funny way
of saying goodbye.

I wouldn't want anything
to happen to you.

If you stay around here,
you haven't got a chance.

Will you go?

I don't know,

but I'd sure like to say
goodbye again.

You're a little late, Jesse.

Milford already
took care of Snake.

Where's Milford now?

(GUNSHOT)

(WINDOW SHATTERS)

You see, I told you.
Somebody shot at you.

Let's have
a little more respect
for heroes out there.

I reckon I better go down
and teach him a lesson.

No, wait.
Huh?

Please, don't start
anything, Milford.

Oh, as long as I
don't come unstrung,

I'm still in business.

Sorry, Milford.
Thought I saw a man in here.

Oh, maybe it's because
I'm wearing your clothes.

Yeah, would you mind
telling me
what this is all about?

Well, I want to talk to you
about that insurance policy,

but you won't let me.

He was only trying
to protect you, Jesse.

Yeah, if anything happens
to you, I'm dead.

Well, let's not have
any more of this.

And I don't like anybody
doing my shooting for me.

Or anything.

What's that?

Well, I shaved this morning,
and I'm a slow bleeder.

Better get out of here
before I become a faster one.

Got something for you, Jesse.
This just come for Farnsworth

from that insurance company
in New York.

"Milford Farnsworth,
Angel's Rest, Missouri.

"You are fired.
Repeat, fired.

"You are the Benedict Arnold
of the insurance business.

"Am coming west
with another $33,000

"to buy back policy.
Arriving 10:00 tonight.

"Kindly do not meet me.
Titus Quesely."

Oh, we ain't
gonna meet him.

We're just gonna shake hands
with his money. Thanks, Elmo.

Wait a minute,

what's all this about
my being your beneficiary?

Oh, didn't I tell you?

Well, one day soon,

you and me are gonna
collect $100,000.

Then we can settle down.

To collect $100,000,
you've gotta be dead.

Oh, I won't be dead.

It'll be some fellow
who just looks like me.

Milford.

Yeah, Jess?

You wear that outfit.
Looks great on you.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

Can I keep it?

As long as you live.

(ALL LAUGHING)

And don't tire yourself out
down there.

We got a little
business deal tonight.

(COYOTE HOWLING)

(COUGHING)

Say, Jesse,

I wonder what's
holding up that train?

In case you forgot,
we are.

Hey, nobody's gonna
get hurt, are they?

Not necessarily.

Whatever you do,
don't get shot.

My company would
never forgive me.

I don't plan to.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

Hey, here she comes now.

Hey, Jesse,

I've been thinking
this over

and I'm gonna sit
this one out.

I just don't like it.

Let's go.
Yeah.

All right, let's go.
Come on.

Aw, it might be
fun after all.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

You know what to do?

I ought to. I've
been robbed myself.

Well, now's
your chance
to get even.

(LAUGHS)

I'm pretty fast
on the trigger, too.

(CLATTERING)

And there's
the trigger,
right there.

(GURGLES)

Just remember.

These people try to hide
their jewels and money.

We have to search
everybody.

Check. You take the men
and I'll take the women.

Come on.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

(TRAIN GRINDING TO A HALT)

Reach.

(ALL GASPING)

We'll cover you.
Get busy.

All right, get your
valuables out.

Don't any of you varmints
reach for a weapon

or I'll let daylight
through you.

Put it in the poke.

There you are.
Okay, all of it.

All right, shorty,
get it up.

Come on, let's have it.
Where did you go?

Toss it down, redwood.

You got snow up there?
All right, get 'em up. Up.

What a bank.

Drop that turnip
in here. Watch it.

Okay, let's have it.
Okay, come on.

Young man,
I hope you realize

what you're doing's
against the law.

Hide it. Hide it,
we're over our quota.

What are you trying to do?

Sorry, we don't take
confederate money.

Here, let me see that.
All right...

Nothing wrong with that stuff.

What are you trying to do,
go in business for yourself?

What's wrong with that?

Nothing. I just wanted to see
if you're on your toes.

Boys, let's get out
of here.
Yeah.

You, guard the rear.

Guard the rear?

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

Oh, but, Jesse,
Jesse, wait for me.

(GUNFIRE)

Jesse, wait for me.

Jesse, Jesse, where are you?

Come on. What are we
waiting for? Let's
get out of here.

One little chore
we ain't attended to yet.

Oh! Oh, there you are.

Let's get outta here.

Jesse!

(GUNFIRE)

Okay, Jesse,
I covered the rear.

You ride on ahead.
We'll take over.

(NEIGHS)

Well, that's that.

Get in touch with
the insurance people

and tell them that
Jesse James is dead.

(SIGHS)

I needed that.

You look like you had
a hard day at the office.

We're going to
the ranch tonight.

Start packing
your things.

What for?

What is all this?

We had an accident
at the train tonight.

I got killed.

He's dead.

The tombstone on Boot Hill
will have my name on it.

As soon as
the insurance company
pays off that $100,000,

we'll have enough
for the rest
of our lives.

We're getting
married tomorrow.

Now, let's take this
a little slower, Jesse.

Now start packing.

You the telegraph
operator?

That's right.

Never figured
she'd make it on time

after getting
held up tonight.

How did you know
the train was held up?

That train always
gets held up.

Here.

I want this message
delivered promptly

to the telegraph operator
at the first stop.

We'll get ourselves
a fine spread somewhere.

A long ways from here,
1,000 miles.
Maybe California.

You and Frank
can have this place.

Gonna be all right, Ma,
working out real great.

What if they come around here,
looking for him?

Looking for who?

Milford.

Just tell 'em
he went back east.

Sounds reasonable.

Milford was a nice boy.

Yeah.

Too bad he didn't have
some of his own insurance.

So they'll be
looking for him.

Leastways they won't be
looking for me no more.

There won't be
any more sheriffs
riding up to my door.

(MOOING)

It's Milford.

Whoa. Oh, boy.
Whoa girl. Whoa.

Happy yogurt.

(MOOS)

Oh, good. You made it.

I was worried
about you, Jesse.

I would've gone back
and looked for you,

but my horse
got away from me.

Boy, I thought sure
they got you.

Good boy.

Oh, boy.

It's sure good
to be home.

What a night.

What's the matter
with you two?

You look as though
you've seen a ghost.

Why, we heard you got killed
in the train holdup, Milford.

What happened?
I can't understand
how we could've...

I mean, I thought you stopped
a lot of lead out there.

Oh, I did. I gained
twelve pounds
in seven seconds.

But I was okay.

(ARMOR CLANGING)

(CLANGS)

(COUGHING)

Boy, it's a good thing
Jesse went to that museum.

I was wearing my heavies.

Pretty good, eh, Ma?

Oh, yes.
Yes, indeed.

You were very
lucky, Milford.

Lucky? I could've been
Swiss cheese.

Those bullets were playing
Goodbye Forever

up and down my spine.

Oh, but I've had it.

I'm gonna find Mr. Quesely
first thing in the morning

and give myself up.

It won't be bad.
You know, about 10 years.

Give yourself up?
What for?

I robbed a train tonight.

Well, so what?
I was there, too.

Yeah, but that's
different with you.

That's your business. Yeah.

Well, I'll see you
in the morning
before I leave, Ma.

Good night, Ma.

Good night, Jesse.
Good night, Milford.

Boy, I'm glad you're okay.
That's the main thing.

Good night.

How about that?

Now, now, Son.

Things went a little
wrong tonight.

Don't let that bother you.

Remember what I always
taught you, Son.

What you can't do today
you can do tomorrow.

Good morning.

Going someplace?

Yes, it's back to
the big town for me.

Well, I'm kind of glad,
and I'm sorry, too, Milford.

We'll miss you around here.

Yeah, well, I gotta get back
and report to the company.

I got a lot of
big deals cooking.

I think you're one of
the nicest persons
I've ever known.

I'm glad I'm here
to hear it.

I'm sorry things
didn't work out
better for you.

Oh, things worked out
fine, just fine.

I got myself mixed up
in a robbery.

Practically put my company
out of business.

Double-crossed my friends.

It's not easy to louse up
a whole town in three days,

but I made it.

Compared to me,
General Custer
was a big success.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Milford.

I'd kind of like
to say goodbye
like we did before.

Yeah.

Goodbye, Milford.
Cora Lee.

Hi, Jess.
Milford.

Milford, I was thinking about
what you talked about
last night.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Your boss was bringing
that money out to give to me
and I got it.

Yeah, but you don't
understand, Jesse.

The money was for
the return of the policy.

Return the policy.

Well, I might
just do that.

You would?

I always knew
you were my friend.

You ride into town
and tell Quesely

that I'll be in
for a talk, huh?

Oh, great.

Oh, Milford.
Yeah.

Be sure you take
the shortcut,

the one over there
through Stone Canyon.

Stone Canyon?
Yeah.

Thanks, Jesse.
Real pretty that way.

Bye, Cora Lee.
Bye, Milford.

(URGING HORSE)

I'll be back in a minute.

(HORSE NEIGHS)

He don't scare me,
but if you're chicken,

we better get going.
Come on.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Come on, baby.

All right, this is it.
Whip it into high.

If I was in shape,
you wouldn't...

You...

Oh. I wasn't trying.

I know how you feel
about me, Princess,

but try and control
your emotions.

Keep head down.

Maybe come more rock.
Yeah.

Yeah, it's a good thing
you bumped into me.

That could have been
a nasty accident.

No accident.

You might not be
so lucky next time.

Now, this policy
protects you

against falling objects,
buffalo stampedes

and termites in your wigwam.

Just sign right here.

What do you mean
it was no accident?

If you die, Jesse
collect insurance.

Jesse? But I've
got him insured.

How could he collect if...

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he could dress
my body up in his clothes,

and there's plenty of
crooked witnesses.

Yeah.

Come on.
Let's get outta here.

They may be loading
that slingshot again.

I'm deeply honored
by your obvious affection
for me, Princess,

but I'm not your type,
honest Injun.

Ahwahnee know that
you love another.

Cora Lee?

She send me to
warn you of ambush.

Really?

She love you.

Love me?
Oh, I couldn't be
that lucky.

It is sad that you
let her marry another.

A doll like her,
loving...

What was that again?

She does not wish it,
but Jesse marry her today.

Well, he can't
do that to my girl.

We got to figure out
a way to stop that.

How?

This is no time
for Indian talk.
Let's get moving.

(HORSES WHINNYING)

MAN: Whoa. Whoa there.

Someone's coming.

Yeah?

Maybe Jesse's men.

Whoa. Whoa.
Whoa, there.
Whoa, there.

Hey, Indians. Indians.

Halt! Halt in the name
of the law.

Me, Justice of Peace.

Me no savvy.
Gotta scoot.

Me big hurry.

I'm in a hurry, too.

This is one bridegroom
I'd better not
keep waiting.

Are you make marriage?

Come all the way
from Elderberry City
for this one.

Which way is the James Ranch?

Me show paleface.
Me show how go fast.

Go fast like wind
through cheap teepee.

I'm in a hurry.
I'm late now.

Ah, come. Come.

Just tell me. Point.

No. Come up hill.
See James' wigwam.

Very good,
from hill. Come.

(PUNCHING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Well, a man
don't get married
every day, you know.

What a beautiful day
for a wedding.

Like they say,
"Happy is the bride
the sun shines on."

Then I don't see why
it doesn't rain.

Oh... It would
cool things off.

Oh, you're just
fretting, dear.

And you don't need to.

Jesse's going to
treat you real nice.

Jesse respects womanhood.

He ain't never shot a one.

(WHISTLES)

How do you like
the foliage?

Oh, you fool me.

Thanks to you, old man.

When we get to town
I'll buy you a flyswatter.

(GASPS)

We can't ride horse.
Horse get sick.

Been eating these.

What are you
talking about?

You see.

He looks all right to me.

(WHINNYING)

Whoops.

Looks like somebody stole
his merry-go-round.

Is he going to
happy hunting ground?

They no kill.

Just make loco
for short time.

Hey, they sound like
wonderful party favors.

Hey, get a rock,

we can grate some of these
in the buckboard.

These may help our case.

I hate to go to
a party empty-handed.

Come on.

FRANK: Hey, Jesse, come here.

The justice
of the peace is here.

Well, it's about time
you got here.

I'm sorry about that.

I got a late start
from Elderberry City.

My wife forgot to
wind the rooster.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah. Well,
let's get started.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Hey, you guys,
pipe down.

(CHATTERING CONTINUES)

(CHATTERING STOPS)

All right, we'll start
the wedding.

Oh, guns have no place
in the sanctity of marriage.

I will not share the room
with weapons of the devil.

No, sir.

Well, all right, boys.

Take off your guns.
We'll put 'em in the kitchen.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

Put 'em on
the table, boys.

(BUBBLING)

Well, a mighty fine spread
you got here.

Oh, I'm sorry, Judge.
I'm not used to
being a host.

Have a drink.

Well, just a little one.

Oh, go on,
have a real drink.

Well, it wouldn't be proper
for me to drink

unless it was a toast
to the groom.

That's it. A toast
to the groom.

To Jesse James,
a good son,

a good brother
and a good...

Down the hatch!

Ah.

Let's have another one.

Everybody ready?

Here comes the bride.

(HUMMING HERE COMES THE BRIDE)

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

My friends, we are...

How you feeling?

Fine. Will you
get on with it?

My friends, we are all
gathered here today

to mourn for
the dearly departed.

Oh, I'm sorry,
that's where I
left off yesterday.

What about today?

Oh, you nervous bridegrooms
are all the same.

What are you doing?
Just checking.

A healthy marriage
is a happy marriage.

Do you, Jesse James,
take this woman

to be your lawful
wedded wife?

(YAWNING) Yeah.

And do you,
Cora Lee Collins,

take this man
to be your lawful
wedded husband?

She does.

The ring, please.

The ring?

Ring?

Well, if there's no ring,

you can hardly expect
to have a wedding.

(WOMAN GASPS)

I knew this marriage
wouldn't last.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(MAN EXCLAIMING)

Pardon me.

Jesse, come and get
some coffee, dear.

I told you
you were making
that punch too strong.

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, you guys.
Get in the kitchen,
coffee up. Fast!

There, they'll never
come through this door.

They sure won't.
That's the closet.

The door's over there.

Hey, wait.
I got an idea.

I want to look for something.

Hurry.

JESSE: Let's go, men.

JESSE: Here we go.

They're coming.
Come on.

JESSE: Here they are.
Up here in this room here.

(DOORKNOB RATTLING)

It's locked.

(WHISTLING)

All right, men.
Let's break this door down.

Put your shoulder into it.
Come on, move!

(POUNDING ON DOOR)

I'll bet you this
is the first time

the preacher ever eloped
with the bride.

(JESSE'S MEN CHATTERING)

(DOOR BREAKING)

There they go!
Come on, men!

Missed. They're getting away.

Move, you nincompoops.

Head for the depot.
We gotta catch the train.

(ANIMALS CHATTERING)

What's the matter, Milford?
Are you hurt?

No, I'm fine now.

(MOOING)

(ALL WHOOPING)

(MOOING)

Thanks for the rest.

(CHOKING)

Darling.

Boy, I'm sure glad
that's over.

Hey, Cora Lee,
come back!

Bring your ladder.

I wonder what's par
for this hole?

(EXCLAIMING)

Find a river, quick.

(SIGHING)

I've had enough of that.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

We've missed the train.
Now what?

Head for town.
The Sheriff
will help us.

Yeah.

(WHINNYING)

Whoa.

Come on.

Sheriff, you gotta help us.

He's gone.

Yeah. Wait. I'll get
one of these.

Milford, be careful.
I know Jesse. He's dangerous.

Look for some ammunition.

You fool.
You might hit Jesse.

Down, Mr. Quesely.

What are you trying
to do, ruin me?

I got no time to talk to you.
I'm gonna get killed
in a minute.

You'll get killed
when I tell you to.

I've sent for
the proper authorities.

They'll handle this.

Hey, you ruffians.
Put down those guns.

I'm making a citizen's arrest.
I say that...

(STAMMERS)

(GROANS)

Mr. Quesely!
Mr. Quesely!

Mr. Quesely!

There you are, Mr. Quesely.
Have one on me.

Milford, look.
Look what I found.

Darling, are you
all right?

Yeah, you're all right.

Is he dead?
No.

He's one of those
sneak-drinkers.

Here, stop making
a pig of yourself.

Look, Milford.
Huh?

Oh, he's mine.

(EXCLAIMS)

You got him.

Of course.
I had him surrounded.

Here, notch that.
Oh, I'll get him.

(MAN GROANS)

That got 'em.

That's one more.
Notch it again.

Well, back to the wagon.

Wonderful, Milford.

You want more, huh?

Well, another one
for Boot Hill.

I'll bet they're sorry
they ever tangled with me.

Happy trails to you.

You hot little heater.

You want
a teddy bear, baby?
Stand by.

Frank, give me
a light.

Shoot at my friend,
will you?

Make smaller notches.
I may run out of handle.

I never saw such shooting.

A little high.

I'm slicing again.

Yep.

(LAUGHS)

Man, do I handle
this thing.

Milford, I think there's a man
behind that barrel.

Huh?

Give me that rifle.

(GROANS)

Poor fool, he never
had a chance.

Paleface bite dust.

Somebody's been smuggling guns
to the Indians.

Anybody left out there?

This is the shot
I've been waiting for.

All right,
stick your head up,
I dare you.

(COUGHS)

This fellow needs
all the help he can get.

Man, I didn't know
he could shoot like that.

Yeah.

All right, drop those guns
or I'll show no mercy.

Anything you say, Milford.
Throw down your guns, boys.

(JESSE'S MEN MUTTERING)
There they are. Ha!

I didn't think they'd
give up that easily.

How about that?

(ALL CHEERING)

WOMAN: Wonderful job!

Watch my trigger finger.

It was one of
my shorter battles,

but I don't want to
take all the credit.

Here's the gal,
right here.

She helped load my guns.

(ALL CHEERING)

It was nothing.
Nothing at all.

If I've done anything
to restore law and order
to this community,

I just want to tell you
that I've been amply rewarded.

And I mean amply.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Milford.
Oh, yes, Mayor.

In gratitude for
what you've done,

the citizens of Angel's Rest
are going to erect
a statue of you

right on this very spot.

(ALL CHEERING)

Oh, Milford. Just think,
a statue of you, right here.

(MAN LAUGHING)

Not yet, you fools.
Not yet.

Wait till they build.

(ALL LAUGHING)

I tell you, insurance
is a must for everyone.

I wouldn't be without it.

I carry protection against
every possible contingency.

I have life insurance,
health insurance,

fire, accident,
horseless carriage,

lightning, collision, flood,
personal liability...

Mrs. Farnsworth is here.

Oh, good.
Send her in.

Will you excuse me?
Think it over.

Hello, my darling.

Cora Lee.

Milford.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Daddy.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Well, you can't get insurance
against everything.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.