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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,227 --> 00:00:03,882 And I'll have the southwestern salad. 2 00:00:03,907 --> 00:00:05,039 But? 3 00:00:05,094 --> 00:00:07,294 No corn, no beans, no avocado. 4 00:00:07,319 --> 00:00:09,786 So a bowl of lettuce with some cheese? 5 00:00:10,585 --> 00:00:13,077 Yes, please. Pepper Jack instead of cheddar. 6 00:00:13,102 --> 00:00:15,484 You people never disappoint. 7 00:00:15,796 --> 00:00:17,148 Okay, we ordered. Are you gonna 8 00:00:17,173 --> 00:00:18,839 tell them your news, or do I have to? 9 00:00:18,864 --> 00:00:20,997 I'm not sure it's really news. 10 00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:23,744 That guy Wayne she met at the sober jamboree in Canada 11 00:00:23,813 --> 00:00:26,101 is coming down for a booty call. 12 00:00:26,616 --> 00:00:28,582 - Marjorie! - Oh. Stop. 13 00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:30,407 Nothing's happened between us. 14 00:00:30,432 --> 00:00:32,665 There was... just a little... energy. 15 00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:34,696 If you get married, I call maid of honor. 16 00:00:35,516 --> 00:00:37,324 Why would I do that? 17 00:00:37,618 --> 00:00:40,961 They've Skyped twice and she's worn lipstick both times. 18 00:00:40,986 --> 00:00:43,420 Oh, you do lurk a lot, don't you? 19 00:00:43,445 --> 00:00:44,774 More than you know. 20 00:00:45,235 --> 00:00:47,335 Ooh, and he sent her pictures of his dogs. 21 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,793 Oh. He's a dog person. 22 00:00:49,818 --> 00:00:51,084 That's not bad. 23 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,814 It's a romantic comedy waiting to happen. 24 00:00:53,839 --> 00:00:56,440 He likes dogs, she likes cats. 25 00:00:56,465 --> 00:00:59,571 Meow, this relationship's gonna be "ruff." 26 00:00:59,596 --> 00:01:00,861 (laughs) 27 00:01:02,297 --> 00:01:04,782 Come on! You would see that movie. 28 00:01:05,888 --> 00:01:08,422 So what are the sleeping arrangements gonna be? 29 00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:11,685 Settle down. It's just gonna be dinner on Friday. 30 00:01:11,710 --> 00:01:14,795 We all know dinner Friday means breakfast Saturday. 31 00:01:14,820 --> 00:01:17,302 I'll make you guys pancakes, if that's not too lurky. 32 00:01:18,755 --> 00:01:20,534 I need fries and a Diet Coke. 33 00:01:20,559 --> 00:01:22,192 No salt, ranch instead of ketchup. 34 00:01:22,217 --> 00:01:24,317 I am in crisis. 35 00:01:24,395 --> 00:01:25,328 What's going on? 36 00:01:25,474 --> 00:01:26,674 Well, you know how I'm hosting 37 00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:28,109 that big charity event this weekend? 38 00:01:28,134 --> 00:01:29,900 That we're not invited to, yes. 39 00:01:29,925 --> 00:01:32,125 Well, come up with $1,500, you're invited. 40 00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:34,417 We're having a nice time here, why you got to be mean? 41 00:01:35,107 --> 00:01:38,329 Anyway, I got out my antique silverware to have it polished 42 00:01:38,354 --> 00:01:39,720 and a bunch of it is missing. 43 00:01:39,752 --> 00:01:41,785 - (gasps) - Oh, sometimes I'm positive 44 00:01:41,818 --> 00:01:43,910 something is missing, and I've just misplaced it. 45 00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:47,138 You think I took 12 forks, eight spoons, three knives, a ladle 46 00:01:47,163 --> 00:01:49,430 and then absentmindedly left them out by the pool? 47 00:01:49,455 --> 00:01:51,322 What do you think happened? 48 00:01:51,347 --> 00:01:55,012 I hate to say it, but I think my housekeeper stole from me. 49 00:01:55,037 --> 00:01:56,236 Which one? 50 00:01:56,261 --> 00:01:58,695 I don't know, so I'm gonna have to fire them both. 51 00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:00,384 But not till after the party 52 00:02:00,409 --> 00:02:02,376 'cause they're both really good at their jobs. 53 00:02:02,445 --> 00:02:05,479 Honey, y-you don't know for sure it was them. 54 00:02:05,595 --> 00:02:08,029 Well, who else had access and opportunity? 55 00:02:10,402 --> 00:02:11,986 Be right back, Jill. 56 00:02:12,011 --> 00:02:14,378 I'm just, uh, looking for some tea. 57 00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:27,841 Oh! God. 58 00:02:30,285 --> 00:02:34,089 I just flashed on Marjorie and Wayne making out. 59 00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:36,660 (chuckling): Why would I do that? 60 00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:56,267 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 61 00:03:07,777 --> 00:03:09,443 Hey, how are you doing? 62 00:03:13,983 --> 00:03:15,816 What-what are you doing? 63 00:03:16,058 --> 00:03:17,284 Reading about a farmer 64 00:03:17,309 --> 00:03:19,894 who sued a railroad in 1897. 65 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,449 It's a lot more boring than it sounds. 66 00:03:22,474 --> 00:03:24,207 Ha! Good one. 67 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:32,610 Is this for the, uh, class with that lady professor that yells? 68 00:03:32,635 --> 00:03:35,035 It's weird. I feel like she's so much harder 69 00:03:35,060 --> 00:03:36,827 on the women than the men. 70 00:03:36,852 --> 00:03:38,485 Maybe she's trying to make us stronger 71 00:03:38,555 --> 00:03:41,122 so we can take on the patriarchy. 72 00:03:41,147 --> 00:03:44,449 Uh-huh, uh-huh. I stole the silverware. 73 00:03:46,113 --> 00:03:47,124 What? 74 00:03:47,149 --> 00:03:50,082 Jill's silverware. Five years ago. Me. 75 00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:52,877 - How could you do that? - We were practically homeless. 76 00:03:52,914 --> 00:03:54,847 And in my defense, I had no idea 77 00:03:54,872 --> 00:03:57,472 we were gonna like her as much as we do. 78 00:03:58,527 --> 00:03:59,925 Why didn't you tell me? 79 00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:01,883 - I forgot. - You forgot? 80 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,108 You know that thing I do when I'm ashamed of something 81 00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:06,316 I've done, I shove it way down until I forget about it? 82 00:04:06,341 --> 00:04:08,274 I did that with this. 83 00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:10,681 You're unbelievable. 84 00:04:10,706 --> 00:04:13,230 It was a long time ago. I was barely sober. 85 00:04:13,255 --> 00:04:15,288 And let's be honest, I stole from everybody. 86 00:04:15,426 --> 00:04:16,826 Everybody? 87 00:04:18,581 --> 00:04:20,280 No. 88 00:04:21,584 --> 00:04:23,230 Well, you got to tell Jill. 89 00:04:23,255 --> 00:04:24,833 You're right, you're right, you're right. 90 00:04:24,991 --> 00:04:28,325 I'm thinking a sealed letter she can open after I die. 91 00:04:28,691 --> 00:04:31,525 Maybe a series of cryptic clues. 92 00:04:32,807 --> 00:04:35,582 Could be fun for all ages at my funeral. 93 00:04:37,309 --> 00:04:39,376 (groans) 94 00:04:39,401 --> 00:04:41,480 Hey, everyone's up. 95 00:04:41,644 --> 00:04:43,003 What's going on? 96 00:04:43,072 --> 00:04:44,716 I just remembered I stole a bunch of silverware 97 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:45,863 from Jill five years ago. 98 00:04:45,888 --> 00:04:48,388 Okay, good night. 99 00:04:48,753 --> 00:04:51,087 See? He gets me. 100 00:04:54,722 --> 00:04:56,338 Well, if you don't have blue hydrangeas, 101 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,753 why would you let me order 12 arrangements 102 00:04:57,778 --> 00:04:59,574 featuring blue hydrangeas? 103 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,064 (softly): Come on in. 104 00:05:01,089 --> 00:05:04,496 (gasps) You did not just say carnations to me. 105 00:05:05,533 --> 00:05:08,367 This is a benefit, not an Appalachian prom. 106 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,265 Ooh, I tell you what, 107 00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:13,735 I'm gonna take some deep cleansing breaths 108 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,360 while you have somebody with a tiny shred 109 00:05:15,385 --> 00:05:17,518 of floral imagination call me. 110 00:05:17,543 --> 00:05:18,776 Ooh! I swear to God, 111 00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,935 saving these little diabetes kids is gonna kill me. 112 00:05:22,878 --> 00:05:25,746 You are such a good person to be doing this. 113 00:05:25,771 --> 00:05:28,304 Yeah, well, tell that to Melanie Kirkpatrick. 114 00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:30,694 She's head of the event committee at my club. 115 00:05:30,719 --> 00:05:32,910 She did not want me hosting this. 116 00:05:32,935 --> 00:05:34,922 She's still not over the time I got drunk 117 00:05:34,947 --> 00:05:39,098 and set the lobsters free at the charity clambake. (laughs) 118 00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:41,990 Dinner and a show. She should be thanking you. 119 00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:46,160 Oh, I just really need it to go well 120 00:05:46,185 --> 00:05:48,251 so I can get back on the A-list. 121 00:05:48,276 --> 00:05:49,909 And the kids. And the kids. 122 00:05:50,139 --> 00:05:51,972 It's gonna be a huge success, 123 00:05:51,997 --> 00:05:54,223 they're gonna donate a lot of money, everybody's gonna love you, 124 00:05:54,248 --> 00:05:55,747 I stole your silverware. 125 00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:00,683 What... what was that? 126 00:06:01,098 --> 00:06:03,183 Huge success, lot of money, everyone loves you. 127 00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:04,340 I think that was it. 128 00:06:04,918 --> 00:06:06,644 You stole it? 129 00:06:06,669 --> 00:06:09,512 I was desperate. I did a terrible thing. 130 00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:11,182 But you and I are in a program 131 00:06:11,207 --> 00:06:12,687 where everyone has made huge mistakes, 132 00:06:12,712 --> 00:06:13,989 and this is me owning up to one. 133 00:06:14,014 --> 00:06:16,748 I'm-I'm truly, truly sorry. 134 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,237 That silverware's been in my family for 150 years. 135 00:06:20,536 --> 00:06:22,213 My great-grandmother gave it to my grandmother 136 00:06:22,237 --> 00:06:24,307 who gave it to my mother who gave it to me, 137 00:06:24,332 --> 00:06:25,865 and they're all dead now. 138 00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:28,143 Sounds like maybe it was cursed. 139 00:06:31,146 --> 00:06:33,830 That silverware is all I had that connected me to them. 140 00:06:33,937 --> 00:06:37,205 Oh. Um, I didn't know it was that important. 141 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,531 Well, maybe you should have asked me before you stole it 142 00:06:39,555 --> 00:06:41,099 so I could have directed you to something 143 00:06:41,123 --> 00:06:42,338 less emotionally resonant. 144 00:06:42,363 --> 00:06:44,196 - Jill... - Just leave. 145 00:06:44,221 --> 00:06:46,860 Oh, come on, I'll do anything to make this right. 146 00:06:46,885 --> 00:06:47,817 Go! Now. 147 00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,108 Okay, fine. 148 00:06:50,966 --> 00:06:53,724 Please tell me that wasn't your grandmother's. 149 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,279 No, it was Crate & Barrel. 150 00:06:55,304 --> 00:06:56,636 But I liked it! 151 00:07:03,946 --> 00:07:06,980 Hey, Marjorie, how's it going in there? 152 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,862 MARJORIE: Oh, I don't know why 153 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,135 I'm getting so excited for this date. 154 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,993 The man lives in Canada, 155 00:07:13,018 --> 00:07:16,153 and you know I hate winter, so I can't move there. 156 00:07:16,372 --> 00:07:18,973 He loves winter, she loves summer, 157 00:07:19,128 --> 00:07:21,799 but will they fall in love? 158 00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:25,275 Oh, would you like me to set up a dressing room for you? 159 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,533 Oh, no, no, no, I'm only 40. 160 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,756 Um, feel it. 161 00:07:30,781 --> 00:07:32,380 Fine. (chuckles) 162 00:07:34,143 --> 00:07:35,940 Oh, mama. 163 00:07:36,728 --> 00:07:38,628 Do you have an extra small? 164 00:07:38,864 --> 00:07:41,135 I'm sure I do. 165 00:07:42,657 --> 00:07:44,056 (sighs) 166 00:07:44,312 --> 00:07:47,313 Oh, Marjorie, you look beautiful. 167 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:50,912 Well... not bad for an old broad. 168 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,244 (chuckles) (scoffs) 169 00:07:52,269 --> 00:07:55,236 Look around. In this place, not so old. 170 00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:57,776 You're in luck. 171 00:07:58,217 --> 00:07:59,987 What do you think... 172 00:08:00,535 --> 00:08:03,080 Should I take off... my ring 173 00:08:03,331 --> 00:08:05,049 before I go on the date? 174 00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,509 Do you feel ready? 175 00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:08,206 Been two years. 176 00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:12,068 Yeah, I think if I'm asking the question, I'm ready. 177 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,259 Victor, I love you, 178 00:08:15,284 --> 00:08:18,118 and... I'm grateful for the time we shared 179 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,854 and... 180 00:08:20,548 --> 00:08:23,516 taking this off will never change that. 181 00:08:25,561 --> 00:08:26,960 That was beautiful. 182 00:08:26,985 --> 00:08:28,484 (chuckles) 183 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,237 Mine. Back off. 184 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:39,673 That's a new look for you. 185 00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:44,690 I went shopping with Marjorie and this caught my eye. 186 00:08:44,715 --> 00:08:47,791 Where'd you go, Forever 71? 187 00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:50,979 Touch it, go ahead, touch it. 188 00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:52,804 Ooh. Is this happening on the inside too? 189 00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:55,590 Yes, it's like I'm wearing a kitten. 190 00:08:57,126 --> 00:08:58,291 Hi, Jill. 191 00:08:58,316 --> 00:09:00,932 Hi Wendy, Christy, Tammy, Bonnie. 192 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,478 (clears throat) How's Clyde? 193 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,747 Bonnie and Clyde. They were robbers. 194 00:09:05,772 --> 00:09:07,869 She's a robber. They're all robbers. 195 00:09:07,970 --> 00:09:10,303 (laughs) 196 00:09:10,328 --> 00:09:12,295 I'm trying to cut the tension, laugh it up. 197 00:09:13,521 --> 00:09:16,353 No, this is good, she's making jokes about me. 198 00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:17,455 It means she's over it. 199 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,814 - I'm not over it. - (singsongy): But you're getting close. 200 00:09:19,839 --> 00:09:21,817 - (singsongy): No, I'm not. - (singsongy): But you're singing with me. 201 00:09:21,842 --> 00:09:24,202 (singsongy): I can sing and still hate you at the same time. 202 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,665 You know, if Marjorie were here... 203 00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:29,650 I thought she was. 204 00:09:31,319 --> 00:09:33,283 Don't listen. You're awesome. 205 00:09:34,721 --> 00:09:36,273 In my defense, 206 00:09:36,298 --> 00:09:39,099 I didn't know I was gonna like you as much as I do. 207 00:09:40,199 --> 00:09:42,499 Does she not hear how that sounds? 208 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,548 Let's just talk it out. 209 00:09:44,573 --> 00:09:46,673 I mean, look how much I've forgiven Bonnie for. 210 00:09:46,698 --> 00:09:48,025 Introducing me to drugs, 211 00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:49,594 getting me kicked out of our foster home... 212 00:09:49,619 --> 00:09:51,719 I forgive her every day for the bullying. 213 00:09:52,014 --> 00:09:54,047 And we're in an anti-bullying era. 214 00:09:54,116 --> 00:09:56,249 Guys? My childhood. 215 00:09:56,274 --> 00:09:57,775 Thanks for playing. 216 00:09:58,658 --> 00:10:01,150 See? If Leisure World over here can forgive me, 217 00:10:01,175 --> 00:10:02,340 anyone can forgive me. 218 00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:05,181 - Yeah, well, I'm not gonna. - Jill, I screwed up. 219 00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,705 But I was a different person then. 220 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:07,929 I'm really sorry. 221 00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:10,414 Excuse me, I have to go to the ladies'. 222 00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:14,563 (Bonnie scoffs) 223 00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:16,970 Seriously? She thinks I'm gonna steal out of her purse? 224 00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:19,262 Well, there are consequences when you steal from someone. 225 00:10:19,373 --> 00:10:22,721 Mine was seven years in prison, yours is an awkward lunch. 226 00:10:29,314 --> 00:10:32,402 - COMMENTATOR: What a hit! - (crowd roars) 227 00:10:36,221 --> 00:10:37,554 Pass intercepted! 228 00:10:37,579 --> 00:10:39,791 Do you need me to talk you down or just get out of the way? 229 00:10:39,913 --> 00:10:41,346 Talk me down. 230 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,767 Really? 'Cause this is a live sporting event. 231 00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:45,492 There's... O-Okay. Okay. 232 00:10:46,842 --> 00:10:50,213 - Give me the facts. - I have apologized my butt off to Jill 233 00:10:50,238 --> 00:10:52,939 about the silverware, and she still treats me like a criminal. 234 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,971 Well, technically, you d... Uh, okay. 235 00:10:55,996 --> 00:10:59,821 How about this? Uh... 236 00:11:00,114 --> 00:11:02,433 just because you're ready to be forgiven 237 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:05,493 doesn't mean that she's ready to forgive. 238 00:11:05,518 --> 00:11:06,955 I think you should give her time. 239 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:09,947 Ugh. I could get better advice from a clock. 240 00:11:10,512 --> 00:11:11,611 I have to fix this. 241 00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:14,026 - I don't think you can. - Oh, yeah? 242 00:11:16,954 --> 00:11:18,954 Watch me, clock. 243 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,968 That was just for dramatic effect. I have nowhere to go. 244 00:11:32,862 --> 00:11:35,663 Do you know what my favorite part of the conference was? 245 00:11:35,919 --> 00:11:37,952 When I fell on my ass in the snow 246 00:11:37,977 --> 00:11:40,346 and you stopped me from going after the kid who laughed? 247 00:11:40,371 --> 00:11:42,705 (chuckling) It was funny 248 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:44,736 when he took a snowball to the face. 249 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,012 Yeah. (chuckles) 250 00:11:47,037 --> 00:11:48,970 You got a pretty good arm. 251 00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:51,648 - Can I tell you about our specials? - Oh. 252 00:11:51,673 --> 00:11:53,806 Uh, no, thanks, we're just having coffee. 253 00:11:55,742 --> 00:11:57,393 Yes. 254 00:11:57,621 --> 00:11:59,487 Coffee. 255 00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:01,178 Yeah, two coffees. 256 00:12:01,306 --> 00:12:03,752 I actually have dinner plans after this. 257 00:12:03,777 --> 00:12:05,611 Yes. So do I. 258 00:12:05,636 --> 00:12:09,204 That's why I'm so dressed up. Who'd wear velvet to coffee? 259 00:12:15,953 --> 00:12:17,285 How'd the date go? 260 00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:18,876 Can you not stop smiling? 261 00:12:19,169 --> 00:12:21,436 Okay. You're not smiling. 262 00:12:21,461 --> 00:12:23,260 Did you just now stop smiling? 263 00:12:23,635 --> 00:12:26,072 Turns out it was coffee, not a date. 264 00:12:26,097 --> 00:12:29,465 Oh. Sorry. Been there. 265 00:12:29,506 --> 00:12:30,972 Once, I thought I was on a date, 266 00:12:30,997 --> 00:12:34,596 but turns out it was a dentist appointment. 267 00:12:35,369 --> 00:12:38,494 Well, obviously, Wayne just wants to be friends. 268 00:12:38,519 --> 00:12:41,463 Dr. Gann just wanted me to floss. 269 00:12:43,286 --> 00:12:46,521 But I-I thought that Wayne came here to see you? 270 00:12:46,546 --> 00:12:48,747 No, he's here on business. 271 00:12:48,772 --> 00:12:50,596 I'm the one who built it up 272 00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:52,788 because I'm a ridiculous old woman. 273 00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:54,861 I don't like it when my mother calls you that, 274 00:12:54,886 --> 00:12:57,320 and I don't like it when you do it. 275 00:12:57,345 --> 00:12:59,345 I've never been so humiliated. 276 00:12:59,676 --> 00:13:01,268 Really? 277 00:13:01,503 --> 00:13:04,838 'Cause, for a couple of years, your address was 278 00:13:04,863 --> 00:13:06,897 "cardboard box." 279 00:13:07,775 --> 00:13:10,952 All right, well, this was a close runner-up. 280 00:13:11,021 --> 00:13:12,587 Here's the good news: 281 00:13:12,612 --> 00:13:14,278 you got excited about someone, 282 00:13:14,303 --> 00:13:16,436 which means you are ready to get out there. 283 00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:18,261 And that means you're gonna get out there, 284 00:13:18,286 --> 00:13:19,763 and that means you're gonna find someone. 285 00:13:19,788 --> 00:13:21,721 You know what? 286 00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:23,586 I'm really fine being alone. 287 00:13:23,611 --> 00:13:25,912 I'm a lot like you in that way. 288 00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:29,481 I tried to kiss my dentist. 289 00:13:29,506 --> 00:13:30,939 You think I'm fine being alone? 290 00:13:33,802 --> 00:13:34,834 What you watching? 291 00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:36,480 My house. 292 00:13:36,505 --> 00:13:37,771 What's it doing? 293 00:13:37,796 --> 00:13:40,926 It's bustling with caterers and florists and delivery guys, 294 00:13:40,951 --> 00:13:42,228 and now, because of your mother, 295 00:13:42,253 --> 00:13:44,455 I can't stop obsessing over what they might be stealing. 296 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,342 They're not stealing. They're working. 297 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,658 Mm. Already saw one guy help himself 298 00:13:48,683 --> 00:13:50,483 to an ice cream sandwich from my freezer. 299 00:13:50,508 --> 00:13:51,774 (chuckles) Joke's on you, sir. 300 00:13:51,799 --> 00:13:54,103 Those are two years old and made with hemp milk. 301 00:13:54,852 --> 00:13:57,186 Hey, don't you spit that on my floor. 302 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,810 That stone is porous! 303 00:14:00,281 --> 00:14:01,613 (indistinct conversation) 304 00:14:01,638 --> 00:14:03,213 Oh, no. 305 00:14:03,238 --> 00:14:05,238 - What? - Wayne's here. 306 00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:06,916 I told him about this meeting. 307 00:14:06,941 --> 00:14:08,774 I didn't think he'd come. 308 00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:10,076 - That's your Wayne? - (Marjorie sighs) 309 00:14:10,101 --> 00:14:13,781 - He's hot. - Yeah. He's my hot, platonic friend. 310 00:14:13,806 --> 00:14:15,005 Wasn't a date. 311 00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:16,430 - Oh. - Oh. 312 00:14:16,586 --> 00:14:18,572 - Hi, Wayne. - Hey, Marjorie. 313 00:14:18,597 --> 00:14:20,998 I, uh, saved you a seat next to me. 314 00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:24,269 (chuckles): Oh. Sorry, I always sit with my girls. 315 00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:25,693 These are my girls. 316 00:14:25,718 --> 00:14:26,861 Say hi, girls. 317 00:14:26,886 --> 00:14:28,308 ALL: Hi. 318 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,832 Hi, girls. (chuckles) 319 00:14:30,076 --> 00:14:31,776 Marjorie, come here. 320 00:14:31,845 --> 00:14:35,136 - There's a guy I want you to meet. - Don't help me. 321 00:14:36,519 --> 00:14:39,520 ALL: and the wisdom to know the difference. 322 00:14:44,754 --> 00:14:47,557 Well, Wayne, it was great to see you again. 323 00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:48,681 Safe travels. 324 00:14:48,815 --> 00:14:50,081 Actually, I was wondering 325 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,673 what you were doing after the meeting. 326 00:14:51,698 --> 00:14:53,899 Oh, I think I've had enough coffee. 327 00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:57,635 Look, I'm sorry about the other night. 328 00:14:58,234 --> 00:15:01,369 I really wanted it to be more, but... 329 00:15:01,766 --> 00:15:03,699 I got cold feet. 330 00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:05,790 (chuckles) You did? 331 00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:08,666 Yeah, my wife died a year and a half ago. 332 00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:13,174 Sometimes it feels like a long time. 333 00:15:14,825 --> 00:15:16,424 Sometimes it really doesn't. 334 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,773 Ooh, I understand that. 335 00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:22,431 And I haven't been on a date for 40 years, so I... 336 00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:24,223 I have no idea what I'm doing. Well, 337 00:15:24,248 --> 00:15:26,043 why didn't you tell me? 338 00:15:26,068 --> 00:15:28,468 Because I haven't been on a date for 40 years. 339 00:15:28,725 --> 00:15:30,758 And the feet... cold. 340 00:15:30,783 --> 00:15:31,982 (chuckles) 341 00:15:33,063 --> 00:15:34,821 How are the feet feeling now? 342 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,679 Want to give it another try? 343 00:15:37,139 --> 00:15:39,047 Yeah, I-I would like that. 344 00:15:40,135 --> 00:15:41,234 Oh. 345 00:15:41,259 --> 00:15:43,726 Hey, Marjorie. 346 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:48,943 This guy over there is asking me for your number. 347 00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:51,423 So... (chuckles) Well, tell him thank you, 348 00:15:51,448 --> 00:15:53,133 but Wayne and I are going out to dinner. 349 00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,696 Oh, my God, that's so great. 350 00:15:56,176 --> 00:15:58,143 There's no guy. 351 00:16:00,546 --> 00:16:02,946 - Oh, good. You're still here. - Oh. 352 00:16:03,226 --> 00:16:05,481 I was just leaving. Got to make sure 353 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,867 my bartender doesn't steal my jewelry, thanks to you. 354 00:16:07,892 --> 00:16:09,340 Please, just give me one minute. 355 00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:10,846 Where were you? You missed the meeting. 356 00:16:10,871 --> 00:16:13,511 I got caught in traffic driving back from San Francisco, 357 00:16:13,536 --> 00:16:14,969 where I was able to track down 358 00:16:14,994 --> 00:16:17,328 some very similar pieces of silverware... 359 00:16:17,484 --> 00:16:19,484 Not as old but not new... 360 00:16:19,509 --> 00:16:21,750 That definitely belonged to someone's grandmother, 361 00:16:21,878 --> 00:16:24,735 which I hope you will accept with my deepest apologies. 362 00:16:24,909 --> 00:16:27,376 Boy, you went to a lot of trouble, Bonnie. 363 00:16:27,401 --> 00:16:30,202 Jill, didn't Bonnie go to a lot of trouble? 364 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,797 Sorry. I gave it a shot. 365 00:16:34,084 --> 00:16:35,683 Come on. Please take it. 366 00:16:40,771 --> 00:16:43,586 Shelby, you just moved into a new place, right? Enjoy. 367 00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,736 Hey. Give that back. 368 00:16:51,642 --> 00:16:53,708 Biscotti... go. 369 00:16:53,733 --> 00:16:55,720 Crème brûlée... go. 370 00:16:55,745 --> 00:16:57,945 Flour-less chocolate cake... hold! 371 00:16:59,849 --> 00:17:01,115 Go. 372 00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:02,539 Go, go, go! 373 00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:04,786 Oh, God, I know 374 00:17:04,854 --> 00:17:06,065 you probably have more important things to do, 375 00:17:06,089 --> 00:17:07,500 but please just get me through dessert 376 00:17:07,524 --> 00:17:10,211 and coffee and saying goodbye to people whose names I forgot. 377 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,927 There you are. 378 00:17:12,952 --> 00:17:15,336 Melanie. Is everything okay? 379 00:17:15,361 --> 00:17:17,164 You know, Jill, when the committee selected you 380 00:17:17,189 --> 00:17:19,167 to host this event, I had my doubts, 381 00:17:19,192 --> 00:17:21,526 which I expressed passionately. 382 00:17:21,551 --> 00:17:24,719 Yeah. You included me on the text. 383 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,845 I just had a hard time imagining this not being a disaster. 384 00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:30,071 But look. You're still dressed, 385 00:17:30,096 --> 00:17:32,196 and no one slipped in your vomit. 386 00:17:32,221 --> 00:17:35,227 Yeah, yay for me. 387 00:17:35,252 --> 00:17:38,820 And... I'm not that person anymore. 388 00:17:38,845 --> 00:17:40,111 No, you're not. 389 00:17:40,357 --> 00:17:43,580 And I need to stop judging you on who you used to be. 390 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,534 Thank you. That means a lot. 391 00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:50,768 Clear your April, 'cause we've got AIDS and leukemia coming up. 392 00:17:50,830 --> 00:17:54,214 Oh, I'd be thrilled to get either! 393 00:17:54,322 --> 00:17:56,922 Yes! I am back, baby. 394 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,246 (knocking) 395 00:18:05,703 --> 00:18:07,930 Oh. Hello. 396 00:18:07,955 --> 00:18:10,155 I'm here to make a formal apology. 397 00:18:10,180 --> 00:18:12,780 Well, you're certainly dressed for it. 398 00:18:17,093 --> 00:18:18,477 Listen... 399 00:18:19,251 --> 00:18:21,429 I realized a couple of things tonight. 400 00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:24,617 One... no one likes salmon toast but me. 401 00:18:25,112 --> 00:18:26,727 And two... 402 00:18:26,752 --> 00:18:29,920 I don't want to be judged on who I used to be, and... 403 00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:31,744 that's exactly what I've been doing to you. 404 00:18:31,769 --> 00:18:33,435 I'm so sorry for being an idiot. 405 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,451 Oh, you weren't. I broke your trust. 406 00:18:35,476 --> 00:18:38,444 I know earning that back is gonna take time. 407 00:18:38,715 --> 00:18:40,481 Not as long as you think. 408 00:18:40,506 --> 00:18:41,772 Come here. 409 00:18:44,578 --> 00:18:46,220 And for the record, 410 00:18:46,245 --> 00:18:48,445 I didn't expect to like you, either. 411 00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:55,417 Aw! 412 00:18:56,766 --> 00:18:58,266 Oh, good God! 413 00:18:58,291 --> 00:19:00,430 How many of those things did you buy? 414 00:19:02,045 --> 00:19:04,297 I don't have a man! 415 00:19:10,857 --> 00:19:12,523 (gasps) 416 00:19:12,548 --> 00:19:13,647 What? 417 00:19:13,672 --> 00:19:16,374 I just remembered. I stole $20 out of your wallet 418 00:19:16,399 --> 00:19:17,998 the first time we slept together. 419 00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:20,998 Oh. Okay. 420 00:19:23,369 --> 00:19:25,636 - (gasps) - What? 421 00:19:25,661 --> 00:19:27,484 And the second time. 422 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,101 Okay. 423 00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:34,781 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 30749

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