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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,100 UP. UP, UP, UP. 2 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,810 TAKE IT UP A LITTLE BIT, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. 3 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:06,350 NO, NO, NO, NO! IT'S TOO MUCH. 4 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,400 NOW DOWN JUST A TEENSY, TEENSY-WEENSY-- 5 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,230 THERE. HOLD IT! 6 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,360 HOLD IT. 7 00:01:13,530 --> 00:01:16,030 PERFECT. ALL RIGHT. HAMMER IT HOME. 8 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:48,890 OH! HERE HE COMES! 9 00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:50,560 OH! 10 00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:53,520 STERLING! STERLING! 11 00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:55,230 WHOO-HOO! 12 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,780 WHOO-HOO! OH, HO! WHOO-HOO! 13 00:01:58,950 --> 00:02:02,530 OH, HO! STERLING, IT'S ME--HARRIET! 14 00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:05,330 OH, HO! STERLING, IT'S ME! 15 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,200 IT'S ME--HARRIET! 16 00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:10,500 OH! OH! HA HA HA! 17 00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:18,260 HARRIET, YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT. 18 00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:20,470 I'M NOT HARRIET! 19 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,970 I'M HARRIET! 20 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:25,430 HA HA! AH, OF COURSE YOU ARE. 21 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,850 OH, YOU HAVE CHANGED-- 22 00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:29,890 FOR THE BETTER, OF COURSE. 23 00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:33,520 Harriet: HA HA! OH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 24 00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:37,860 MEET MY SECOND COUSIN ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE ONCE REMOVED, 25 00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:42,780 STERLING MURDOCK, THE NEW EDITOR IN CHIEF OF "THE PEN & THE PLOW." 26 00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:44,950 COME ON, EVERYBODY. 27 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,330 [APPLAUSE] 28 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,790 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 29 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:54,250 YOUR WELCOME WARMS THE COCKLES OF MY HEART. 30 00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:55,790 I, UH... 31 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,800 I CAN ONLY SAY THAT IN THE 20 YEARS SINCE I SET FORTH 32 00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:02,970 TO FOLLOW THE COUNSEL OF THAT GREAT EDITOR HORACE GREELEY, 33 00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:06,720 WHO SAID, "GO WEST, YOUNG MAN, GO WEST," 34 00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:10,770 I HAVE FAITHFULLY KEPT MOVING FURTHER WEST, 35 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,060 NEVER LOSING THE HOPE THAT ONE DAY 36 00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:17,150 I WOULD FIND THE EXTREMITIES OF MY WESTERN HORIZON-- 37 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,900 THE END OF THE RAINBOW, AS IT WERE. 38 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:25,200 TODAY, I HAVE A PROFOUND FEELING-- 39 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:29,160 CALL IT INTUITION, IF YOU WILL-- 40 00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:32,920 THAT WALNUT GROVE IS THAT RAINBOW'S END 41 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:37,500 WHERE WE WILL ALL FIND THE PROVERBIAL POT OF GOLD-- 42 00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:41,340 NOT ONLY THE GOLD THAT GLITTERS, I ASSURE YOU, 43 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:44,340 BUT ALSO THE GOLD OF THE GOOD WE CAN DO 44 00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:47,930 FOR THE FINE MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN OF THIS COMMUNITY. 45 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:52,100 STERLING, STERLING, I HAVE GOOSE FLESH! 46 00:03:52,270 --> 00:03:53,560 OH! 47 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:56,810 WE'RE WORKING ON A CURE FOR THAT. 48 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,820 Laura: ERICH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MEET OUR PAS AT THE NEWSPAPER. 49 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,030 WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE PRINTING PRESSES. YOU WANT TO COME WITH US? 50 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,530 OH, I'D LIKE TO, BUT I PROMISED MY FATHER 51 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,910 I'D GET HOME AND HELP HIM. 52 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,120 OH, OK. WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 53 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,620 LAST ONE THERE'S A ROTTEN EGG! 54 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:14,460 HI, PA. 55 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:15,670 HOW'S IT GOING, SON? 56 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:16,880 HOW YOU DOING, KIDS? 57 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,500 CAN WE COME IN AND SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE? 58 00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:21,880 I DON'T SEE WHY NOT. COME ON. WE'LL ASK MR. MURDOCK. 59 00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:23,590 MR. MURDOCK, MY CHILDREN WONDERED 60 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,840 IF THEY COULD HAVE A LITTLE LOOK AROUND. 61 00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:26,220 OH, THEY'RE WELCOME TO. 62 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:27,840 THAT'S MY DAUGHTER LAURA AND MY SON ALBERT. 63 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:29,220 AND THAT'S MY SON ANDY. 64 00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:30,470 HOW DO YOU DO? HI. 65 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,100 Charles: THAT'S THE LAST OF IT, SIR. 66 00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:33,350 OH, THANK YOU. 67 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,600 YOU MEN DID A GOOD JOB FIXING THIS PLACE UP. 68 00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:36,730 THANK YOU. 69 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,360 IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, I COULD USE YOU 70 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,820 AND YOUR WAGONS FOR ANOTHER JOB-- 71 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,570 MAKING PAPER DELIVERIES IN BUNDLES, 72 00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:43,240 DROPPING THEM OFF AT GENERAL STORES 73 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,860 AND POST OFFICES AROUND THE TOWNSHIP. 74 00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:47,660 ONCE A WEEK, FRIDAYS. $3.00 APIECE? 75 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,490 $3.00 A WEEK. I THINK I'D BE INTERESTED. 76 00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:52,830 YOU JUST HIRED YOURSELF A COUPLE OF WAGONS. 77 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:53,910 GOOD. 78 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,330 WE'LL UNHITCH YOUR TEAM FOR YOU. 79 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:56,330 I APPRECIATE IT. 80 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,500 WE'LL SEE YOU LATER, KIDS. 81 00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:58,580 SEE YOU LATER. 82 00:04:58,750 --> 00:04:59,960 Children: BYE. 83 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:03,840 WOULD THERE BE ANY WORK FOR ME AROUND HERE, MR. MURDOCK? 84 00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:06,930 WELL, MATTER OF FACT, THERE IS. 85 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:08,930 MY EYES AREN'T TOO GOOD ANYMORE, 86 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,800 AND A PRINTER WITH BAD EYES 87 00:05:10,970 --> 00:05:13,470 IS LIKE A FARMER WITH A BROKEN PLOW AND NO HORSES. 88 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,690 SO I NEED TWO BRIGHT YOUNG PEOPLE TO HELP ME SET TYPE-- 89 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,230 PRINTER'S DEVILS, THEY'RE CALLED. 90 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,190 I'VE BEEN CALLED WORSE. 91 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,570 IT'D BE ABOUT AN HOUR A DAY AFTER SCHOOL. 92 00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:24,150 PAYS 50 CENTS A WEEK. 93 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,650 50 CENTS! I'M YOUR DEVIL, MR. MURDOCK. 94 00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:30,030 THAT'S NEAT. CAN I BE A DEVIL, TOO? 95 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,450 SHE'S SMART. 96 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,950 ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE BOTH HIRED. 97 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,450 HOW ABOUT ME? 98 00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:37,620 WELL, I NEED SOME ENTERPRISING YOUNG PEOPLE 99 00:05:37,790 --> 00:05:38,920 TO DISTRIBUTE FLIERS. 100 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,290 I'M VERY ENTERPRISING! 101 00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:42,840 GOOD. PAY IS THE SAME AS THE OTHERS GET. 102 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,670 WE GOT TO TELL OUR FOLKS. COME ON. 103 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:45,800 Albert: YEAH! THANK YOU. BYE. 104 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:46,880 THANK YOU. BYE. 105 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:48,380 GOOD-BYE. 106 00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:54,600 AS THE GREAT JOURNALIST ALBERT RICHARDSON 107 00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,390 WROTE IN THE "NEW YORK TRIBUNE," 108 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,060 A NEWSPAPER IS THE MOTHER'S MILK OF AN INFANT TOWN. 109 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:01,690 OH! 110 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,440 OH, STERLING, 111 00:06:03,610 --> 00:06:07,320 YOU DO HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL WAY WITH WORDS! 112 00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:10,240 AND JUST THINK-- WITH "THE PEN & THE PLOW," 113 00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:13,620 IT WILL SUCKLE WALNUT GROVE 114 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,750 INTO A ROBUST AND MATURE METROPOLIS. 115 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:20,370 HMM! AND BEYOND IT... 116 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:21,710 AND BEYOND IT... 117 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,670 OLESON'S MERCANTILE WILL... 118 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,760 WILL BRANCH OUT ALL OVER HERO TOWNSHIP. 119 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,680 AND BEYOND THAT... 120 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:34,600 "HARRIET OLESON, PROPRIETOR." 121 00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,930 THE POT AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW. 122 00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:44,230 GOLD. REMEMBER? 123 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,860 MM... 124 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,360 TELL ME, STERLING, 125 00:06:47,530 --> 00:06:50,360 HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT MAKING UP A NEWSPAPER? 126 00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:53,910 I MEAN, WHERE DO YOU GET ALL THE NEWS AND THE ARTICLES? 127 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,660 WELL, THE INSIDES, ALL THE GENERAL NEWS, 128 00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:59,700 ARE PRINTED IN ST. PAUL, SHIPPED HERE WEEKLY. 129 00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:03,210 I SEE...AND THEN THE REST OF IT, YOU MAKE UP HERE. 130 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:05,920 EXACTLY. THE OUTSIDES, 4 PAGES, 131 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,170 CONSISTS OF ALL OUR LOCAL NEWS AND ADS. 132 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,380 YOU WRITE ALL THAT YOURSELF, UNCLE STERLING? 133 00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,050 OH, COULDN'T POSSIBLY. 134 00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:13,890 WHAT WITH ORGANIZING THE BUSINESS 135 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,140 AND WRITING EDITORIALS, 136 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,220 PRINTING THE PAPER, ET CETERA, ET CETERA, 137 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,390 I'LL NEED A HEAD REPORTER BASED HERE. 138 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:20,890 HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYONE QUALIFIED 139 00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:24,150 TO WRITE A NEWS COLUMN ON WALNUT GROVE ACTIVITIES? 140 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,020 DO I EVER! 141 00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:28,570 I HAVE THE PERFECT PERSON! 142 00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:29,900 WHO? 143 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,740 ME! HA HA HA! 144 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,740 WELL, I MEAN, ALL THE NEWS 145 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:37,830 DOES FILTER IN TO THE MERCANTILE. 146 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,040 AND OUT HER MOUTH. 147 00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:44,540 UM, HOW MUCH DOES A HEAD REPORTER GET? 148 00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:49,250 WELL, WITH ALL MY STARTING-UP COSTS, HARRIET, 149 00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,300 I'M AFRAID I CAN'T AFFORD MUCH. 150 00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:52,550 OH. 151 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,470 BUT, OF COURSE, IF THE PAPER THRIVES, 152 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,600 THE PAY GETS BETTER. 153 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,180 HUH! I HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL IDEA, 154 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,440 AND IT WON'T COST EITHER OF US A CENT. 155 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,560 I LIKE THE IDEA ALREADY, WHATEVER IT IS. 156 00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:12,650 BARTER--MY SALARY FOR FREE ADS IN THE PAPER. 157 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,620 YOU'VE GOT A DEAL, HARRIET. 158 00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:18,330 AH, GOOD. HA HA HA! 159 00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:20,160 INCLUDE A LOT OF NAMES, PERSONAL ITEMS. 160 00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,910 PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE THEIR NAMES IN THE NEWSPAPER. 161 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,120 IT BOOSTS CIRCULATION. 162 00:08:23,290 --> 00:08:24,250 OH, YES, YES. 163 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,620 DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT. 164 00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:27,920 I'LL NAME NAMES AND TIMES AND PLACES, TOO. 165 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,420 AND, NELLIE, DARLING, YOU CAN HELP ME. 166 00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:31,760 CAN'T SHE, NELS? 167 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,340 WHY NOT? SHE'S GOT HER MOTHER'S NOSE. 168 00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:38,050 Harriet: OH, I HAVE THE MOST PERFECT NAME FOR MY COLUMN! 169 00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,100 HA! 170 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,010 "HARRIET'S HAPPENINGS." 171 00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:50,110 THAT'S GOING TO BE $1.79, PLEASE. 172 00:08:50,270 --> 00:08:52,440 PUT IT ON OUR BILL, PLEASE. 173 00:08:54,110 --> 00:08:56,820 AH! YOU KNOW OUR POLICY. 174 00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:59,910 ALL CHARGES MUST BE PAID BY THE END OF THE MONTH. 175 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,660 YES, I KNOW, BUT I'M AFRAID 176 00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:03,750 I JUST DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TODAY. 177 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,500 AH... 178 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:10,340 YOU KNOW, MY NELLIE WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT CHOICE 179 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,050 TO REPRESENT WALNUT GROVE IN THE SPELLING BEE. 180 00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:16,260 YES. SHE IS A VERY GOOD SPELLER. 181 00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:17,510 YES. 182 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,010 AND WHAT WITH HER NATURAL POISE AND BEAUTY, 183 00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:24,640 WALNUT GROVE WOULD HAVE A MODEL REPRESENTATIVE. 184 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,190 AND, OF COURSE, I WOULD DONATE A $2.00 GIFT CERTIFICATE 185 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,690 TO BE HONORED HERE AT THE MERCANTILE. 186 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,690 THAT'S VERY NICE. THANK YOU. 187 00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:35,780 OH! THAT MAKES ME THE CHAIRWOMAN 188 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,860 OF THE AWARDS COMMITTEE, DOESN'T IT? 189 00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:41,990 HA HA HA! 190 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,830 OH, ABOUT THESE PURCHASES, 191 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,870 I'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT TILL I HAVE THE CASH. 192 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,170 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! 193 00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:52,540 WHY, I WOULDN'T DREAM OF DEPRIVING YOU. 194 00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:54,090 TAKE THEM. 195 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,130 AFTER ALL, WE MUST HELP ONE ANOTHER 196 00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:00,340 IN TIME OF NEED, MUSTN'T WE? 197 00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:03,470 THANK YOU, MRS. OLESON. 198 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,770 YES, OF COURSE. 199 00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,890 HA HA! BYE. 200 00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:09,310 WHAT DOES THIS SAY, ERICH? 201 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,690 WE CARRY A FINE LINE OF SPECTACLES, MR. SCHILLER, 202 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:15,190 IF IT'S READING GLASSES YOU NEED. 203 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,900 WHAT I NEED, FRAU OLESON, IS ENGLISH. 204 00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:18,990 AHA. 205 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,240 READ IT. 206 00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,070 YES, PAPA. 207 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:26,200 "THE NAME BLANKIE'S IS SYNONYMOUS WITH GOOD DRINKING COFFEE." 208 00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:28,910 THIS IS TRUE, FRAU OLESON? IT IS GOOD COFFEE? 209 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,380 OH, THE BEST, MR. SCHILLER. 210 00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,500 I DRINK IT MYSELF. 211 00:10:34,670 --> 00:10:37,170 WELL, HOW MUCH DOES IT COST, FRAU OLESON? 212 00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:39,970 25 CENTS. 213 00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:42,300 [SPEAKING GERMAN] 214 00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,060 THANK YOU ANYWAY, FRAU OLESON. 215 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,980 MM-HMM, YES. 216 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,650 HARRIET. 217 00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:54,940 HUH? 218 00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:57,150 IS THIS THE AD THAT YOU PLAN TO RUN IN THE PAPER? 219 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,190 YES. 220 00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,820 IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU PLAN TO TAKE 221 00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:01,950 20% OFF EVERY ITEM IN THE STORE. 222 00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:03,320 YES, THAT'S RIGHT. 223 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,660 WELL, WE CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE OFF 20%. 224 00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,290 OH, DON'T BE SILLY. 225 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,290 WE RAISE THE PRICES 30% , THEN WE TAKE OFF THE 20% , 226 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,710 AND THAT GIVES US 10% MORE PROFIT 227 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,340 THAN AS IF WE DIDN'T HAVE A SALE AT ALL. 228 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,880 THAT'S DISHONEST! 229 00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:18,460 OF COURSE IT IS. 230 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:21,050 DUMB. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE SO DUMB. 231 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,620 HEY, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT PA 232 00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:52,080 IN "HARRIET'S HAPPENINGS." 233 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,670 WHAT'S IT SAY? 234 00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:57,460 "THE REVEREND ALDEN WILL BE OUT OF TOWN FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS 235 00:11:57,630 --> 00:12:00,340 "CARRYING THE GOOD WORD TO OTHER COMMUNITIES. 236 00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:02,220 "IN HIS ABSENCE, NELS OLESON, 237 00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:06,180 DR. HIRAM BAKER, AND CHARLES INGALLS WILL CONDUCT SERVICES." 238 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,850 OH, AND THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE SPELLING BEE. 239 00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:13,350 "A RELIABLE SOURCE-- THE MOST RELIABLE, INITIALS A.G.-- 240 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,100 "TELLS US NELLIE OLESON, 241 00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:16,860 "THE LOVELY, BRILLIANT DAUGHTER 242 00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:18,230 "OF MRS. OLESON, 243 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,400 "CO-PROPRIETOR OF OLESON'S MERCANTILE 244 00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,740 "AND CHAIRWOMAN OF THE AWARDS COMMITTEE, 245 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,570 WILL BE CHOSEN TO REPRESENT WALNUT GROVE." 246 00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:27,530 HOW DOES SHE KNOW THAT? 247 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:31,580 YEAH. WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD THE ELIMINATIONS YET. 248 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,960 Sterling: WANT TO SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT SO FAR? 249 00:12:41,550 --> 00:12:44,170 THE BLANK SPACE IS FOR "HARRIET'S HAPPENINGS" 250 00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:46,340 WHEN YOU FINISH SETTING IT. 251 00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,520 WAR DECLARED! GET YOUR PAPER! 252 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,190 READ ALL ABOUT IT. THE "PEN & PLOW." 253 00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:58,020 WAR DECLARED! 254 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,230 READ ALL ABOUT IT! 255 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,530 WAR DECLARED? 256 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,410 "OLESON'S MERCANTILE DECLARE WAR 257 00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:09,820 ON HIGH COSTS AND SHODDY GOODS." 258 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,910 "BIG 20% OFF SALE." 259 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,080 WAR DECLARED! READ ALL ABOUT IT! 260 00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,790 THE "PEN & PLOW." WAR DECLARED! 261 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,000 READ ALL ABOUT IT! 262 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,190 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 263 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,940 JONATHAN. 264 00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:46,950 DID YOU SEE YOU'RE MENTIONED IN "HARRIET'S HAPPENINGS," DOC? 265 00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:48,610 WELL. SHE SPELL MY NAME RIGHT? 266 00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:50,070 OH, YEAH. PERFECTLY. 267 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,990 SAYS RIGHT HERE "DR. HIRAM BAKER LOST ANOTHER PATIENT 268 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,040 WHEN EZRA JENKINS DIED LAST WEDNESDAY." 269 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,210 EZRA JENKINS WAS 96 YEARS OLD! 270 00:13:58,370 --> 00:13:59,960 HE JUST PLUMB WORE OUT. 271 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,090 WELL, I JUST READ IT IN THE PAPER, DOC, 272 00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,500 AND, LOOK, IT MUST BE RIGHT. 273 00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:05,050 IT SAYS RIGHT DOWN HERE 274 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:08,050 IT WAS WRITTEN BY "WALNUT GROVE'S LEADING CITIZEN." 275 00:14:08,220 --> 00:14:09,260 HMM. 276 00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:12,140 MISLEADING CITIZEN IS MORE LIKE IT. 277 00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,300 HMM. 278 00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:15,140 "TALK OF THE TOWNSHIP. 279 00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:18,350 "CLAUDE BEACONS HAS BEEN SPENDING AN AWFUL LOT OF TIME 280 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,520 "AT WIDOW FOSTER'S HOUSE LATELY. 281 00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:25,570 ONE WONDERS IF CLAUDE'S WIFE KNOWS ABOUT IT." 282 00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,740 HE'S SPENDING A LOT OF TIME AT HER PLACE 283 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,280 ON HER ROOF FIXING IT, 284 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,280 AND HIS WIFE KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT. 285 00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:32,990 HERE'S ANOTHER CHOICE TIDBIT. 286 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,740 "MRS. SALLY LARSON HAS LEFT HER HUSBAND 287 00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:37,540 "TO RETURN TO CHICAGO. 288 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,460 "COULD THERE BE SOMEONE SPECIAL IN CHICAGO? 289 00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:43,330 COULD THE SEPARATION BE PERMANENT?" 290 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,550 I COULD ANSWER HER QUESTIONS. 291 00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:48,670 THE SOMEONE SPECIAL IS HER FATHER, 292 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,510 AND THEIR SEPARATION COULD BE PERMANENT. 293 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,180 HE MAY DIE. 294 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:56,850 WELL, IF THAT'S CULTURE, THEN I'M ABRAHAM LINCOLN. 295 00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:02,350 YOU OUGHT TO USE THAT PAPER TO START THE FIRE. 296 00:15:12,570 --> 00:15:14,370 [DOOR OPENS] 297 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,580 OH, BOY. 298 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,330 OHH... 299 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,870 OH, MY! 300 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:21,830 OH. 301 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,210 OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES. 302 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,170 GET YOUR FEET OFF THE SOFA! 303 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:29,380 OH, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY. 304 00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:31,420 WHAT A DAY. 305 00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,840 IT'S THE BIGGEST MONDAY WE EVER HAD. 306 00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:38,010 HA! IT'S THE BIGGEST ANY DAY WE'VE EVER HAD. 307 00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,850 OH, NELS. 308 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:43,310 THAT PAPER IS A GODSEND! HA HA HA! 309 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,020 OH, NOW, LISTEN. 310 00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:47,190 WE'LL SIMPLY HAVE TO DOUBLE OUR ORDER FOR NEXT WEEK'S SALE, 311 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,940 AND WHAT WE'LL DO IS WE'LL HAVE A 25% OFF ON EVERYTHING, 312 00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:53,070 AND WE WILL RAISE THE PRICES 40% , 313 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,740 AND THAT WILL GIVE US A 15% PROFIT. 314 00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,780 HARRIET, WE CAN'T DO THAT! 315 00:15:57,950 --> 00:16:00,200 CAN'T? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, CAN'T? 316 00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:02,790 THERE'S NO SUCH WORD AS CAN'T! 317 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,130 NELS! NOW, STERLING TOLD ME 318 00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:09,460 THAT THE SUBSCRIPTIONS FOR THE PAPER ARE JUST POURING IN, 319 00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:12,260 THANKS TO MY WRITING. HA HA HA! 320 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:14,300 FESS UP, NELS OLESON. 321 00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:16,760 I AM A SUCCESS IN EVERY WAY. 322 00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:18,890 INCLUDING THE WORST WAY. 323 00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:22,100 AND NOW WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 324 00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:23,940 WELL, NOW LOOK AT THIS. 325 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:28,520 NOW, HERE YOU SAY, "7-MONTH-MARRIED HELGA SVENSON 326 00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:31,110 "GAVE BIRTH TO HER FIRST CHILD, A BABY BOY. 327 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,610 SHE CLAIMS IT WAS PREMATURE." 328 00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:36,610 WELL? USE YOUR ARITHMETIC. 329 00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,370 SEEMS TO ME, IT'S AS PLAIN 330 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,370 AS THE NOSE ON YOUR FACE WHAT HAPPENED. 331 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,410 AS PLAIN AS THE NOSE ON YOUR FACE, NOT MINE. 332 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,960 IT HAPPENS THAT I TALKED TO DR. BAKER RIGHT AFTER THE DELIVERY, 333 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:49,750 AND HE SAYS THE BIRTH WAS PREMATURE. 334 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:55,970 WELL...THERE WERE RUMORS. 335 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,140 YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PRINT THE FACTS, HARRIET, 336 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:00,470 NOT RUMORS! 337 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,770 WELL, IT WAS A FACT... THAT THERE WERE RUMORS. 338 00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:07,020 Willie: YEAH. NELLIE WAS SWEET ON LARS 339 00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:10,060 AND JEALOUS OF HELGA, SO SHE SPREAD RUMORS. 340 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,320 WHAT?! 341 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,280 WELL, OF COURSE. THEY HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE. 342 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,860 WHERE IS NELLIE? 343 00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:17,660 UPSTAIRS, CRYING. 344 00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:19,450 CRYING? OH, WHAT HAPPENED? 345 00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,700 Willie: WE HAD THE ELIMINATIONS TODAY FOR THE SPELLING BEE. 346 00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,660 AHA! AND? 347 00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,330 ERICH SCHILLER WON. 348 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:31,500 ERICH SCHILLER? THAT ALICE GARVEY BETRAYED ME! 349 00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,710 IT WAS A PERFECTLY FAIR TEST. 350 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,180 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT ERICH IS THE SMARTEST BOY IN SCHOOL. 351 00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:39,010 WELL, IT'S NOT FAIR! 352 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:41,760 SCHILLER AND G-A-R-V-E-Y, 353 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:45,390 AND THEY'RE RIGHT HERE ON MY LITTLE LIST. 354 00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:54,570 [DOOR BELL JINGLES] 355 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,660 Harriet: HERE YOU ARE. 356 00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:01,910 I'LL HAVE THAT CORSET IN FOR YOU NEXT WEEK, ALL RIGHT? 357 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,620 Nels: HELLO, JONATHAN. 358 00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:05,040 NELS. 359 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,830 NOW, CAROLINE, HAVE YOU READ THE "PEN & PLOW" THIS WEEK? 360 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,290 YES, I HAVE. 361 00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,550 "HARRIET'S HAPPENINGS"? 362 00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:16,630 YES, I DID. 363 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,800 UH-HUH. WELL? WHAT DID YOU THINK? 364 00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:23,550 I THOUGHT IT WAS INACCURATE, MRS. OLESON. 365 00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:28,230 INACCURATE. 366 00:18:28,390 --> 00:18:29,890 FOR EXAMPLE? 367 00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:31,560 FOR EXAMPLE, I PERSONALLY KNOW 368 00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:34,690 THE BEACONS AND LARSONS STORIES ARE UNTRUE. 369 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,070 WELL, IF THEY ARE UNTRUE, 370 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,990 AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE, MIND YOU, 371 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,610 BUT IF THEY ARE UNTRUE, 372 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:41,530 WE SHALL CERTAINLY PRINT A RETRACTION. 373 00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,740 STERLING SAYS THAT THERE'S A LITTLE SPACE IN THE BACK PAGE 374 00:18:44,910 --> 00:18:47,910 IN THE AD SECTION FOR JUST SUCH INNOCENT MISTAKES. 375 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,170 I'M AFRAID THAT'S TOO LITTLE AND TOO LATE, MRS. OLESON. 376 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,580 THE HARM'S ALREADY BEEN DONE. 377 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,630 MRS. INGALLS, WE WILL NOT BE NEEDING 378 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,260 ANY MORE EGGS IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE. 379 00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:03,260 MRS. OLESON, I'M SURE THE HENS 380 00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:05,850 WILL BE RELIEVED TO HEAR THAT. 381 00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:10,180 [WHISPERING] That's telling her. 382 00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,610 THANK YOU, MRS. LINSTROM. 383 00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:17,690 I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD FIT YOU TOO WELL, JONATHAN. 384 00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:20,440 TOO SMALL AROUND THE CHEST. HA HA HA! 385 00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:23,070 I WAS JUST THINKING HOW NICE THAT WOULD LOOK ON ALICE. 386 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,200 YEAH. 387 00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:25,620 IT'S OUR 15th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. 388 00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:28,540 THE ONLY QUESTION IS, WILL IT FIT MY POCKETBOOK? 389 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,040 WELL, LET'S SEE. UH...$9.50. 390 00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:34,080 $9.50. I'M AFRAID I'M A LITTLE SHORT, NELS. 391 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,500 OH, I'M SURE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. 392 00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:39,300 Harriet: AS I TOLD YOUR WIFE, MR. GARVEY, 393 00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,510 I'M AFRAID WE CANNOT EXTEND FURTHER CREDIT 394 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,090 UNTIL PAST ACCOUNTS IS SETTLED. 395 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:45,340 WELL, NOW, HARRIET, THIS IS THEIR 15th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. 396 00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:47,970 NELS! YOU KNOW OUR POLICY AS WELL AS I DO. 397 00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:49,640 NOW, IF WE MAKE AN EXCEPTION, 398 00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:52,190 EVERY TOM, DICK, AND HARRY IS GOING TO BE IN HERE 399 00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:53,810 TRYING TO FREELOAD ON US. 400 00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:56,440 NO. WE SIMPLY CANNOT MAKE AN EXCEPTION. 401 00:19:56,610 --> 00:20:00,480 WE CAN'T AFFORD IT ON FRIVOLOUS ITEMS SUCH AS CLOTHING. 402 00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:04,990 OF COURSE, IF IT WERE SOMETHING LIKE FOODSTUFFS, 403 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,580 SOMETHING OF NECESSITY, SAY, 404 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,490 WHY, I'D BE MORE THAN WILLING 405 00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:12,040 TO EXTEND YOU FURTHER CREDIT, MR. GARVEY. 406 00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:15,120 HOW ABOUT A NICE HAM? 407 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:16,330 HA HA! 408 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,250 YOU WANT ME TO GIVE ALICE A HAM 409 00:20:18,420 --> 00:20:19,670 FOR OUR 15th ANNIVERSARY? 410 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,880 OH, UH...A NICE RASHER OF BACON? 411 00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:26,930 NO, THANK YOU. 412 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,310 SUIT YOURSELF... 413 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,140 OVERGROWN INGRATE! 414 00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:35,940 I'M SORRY, JONATHAN. 415 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,110 CAN YOU HOLD THAT DRESS FOR ME, NELS? 416 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,740 THAT I CAN DO. 417 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:46,320 I'M SURE I CAN GET A SMALL LOAN OVER AT THE BANK IN SLEEPY EYE. 418 00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:48,160 I'LL BE BACK. 419 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:53,370 Willie: GET YOUR PAPER! READ ALL ABOUT IT! 420 00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:56,210 THE "PEN & PLOW." IT'S THE LATEST ISSUE, FOLKS. 421 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,590 COME ON, GET YOUR "PEN & PLOW." READ ALL ABOUT IT! 422 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,340 THE "PEN & PLOW." 423 00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:06,590 GET YOUR PAPER. READ ALL ABOUT IT! 424 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,110 JONATHAN, LISTEN TO THIS. 425 00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:23,480 "YOUR DEVOTED REPORTER HEARS DISTURBING REPORTS 426 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,820 "OF SHORT WEIGHT, LOW QUALITY, AND HIGH PRICES 427 00:21:26,990 --> 00:21:29,780 "IN THE GENERAL STORES OVER AT TRACY AND LAMBERTON. 428 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:32,910 "AT OLESON'S MERCANTILE, IT IS ALWAYS THE REVERSE. 429 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,410 "THE HIGHEST QUALITY AND THE LOWEST PRICES 430 00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:37,160 IN HERO TOWNSHIP." 431 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,960 I SWEAR, THAT WOMAN DOESN'T MISS A TRICK. 432 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:43,090 SHE MUST WRITE THAT STUFF WITH A HATCHET. 433 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,210 DIPPED IN VENOM. 434 00:21:48,430 --> 00:21:49,720 JONATHAN. 435 00:21:49,890 --> 00:21:51,050 WHAT? 436 00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:54,390 WHAT SHE'S WRITTEN HERE ABOUT US. 437 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,060 "VIA AN EXTREMELY RELIABLE SOURCE, 438 00:21:57,230 --> 00:22:00,020 "WE HAVE LEARNED WITH SADNESS THAT THE JONATHAN GARVEYS 439 00:22:00,190 --> 00:22:01,520 "ARE DEEPLY IN DEBT, 440 00:22:01,690 --> 00:22:03,570 "UNABLE TO PAY LONG OVERDUE BILLS. 441 00:22:03,730 --> 00:22:06,360 BANKRUPTCY LOOMS, AND THEY MAY LOSE THEIR FARM." 442 00:22:06,530 --> 00:22:07,780 IS THAT RIGHT, PA? 443 00:22:07,950 --> 00:22:09,950 OF COURSE NOT, SON. I... 444 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,830 I MAY HAVE A BILL OVER AT THE MERCANTILE, 445 00:22:12,990 --> 00:22:15,580 BUT I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THAT. 446 00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,200 PURE SPITE! 447 00:22:19,290 --> 00:22:20,960 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, 448 00:22:21,130 --> 00:22:25,210 THAT'S THE ONLY THING PURE ABOUT HARRIET OLESON. 449 00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:37,480 WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING THAT'S CAUSING ALL THAT PAIN? 450 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:38,640 SPELLING. 451 00:22:38,810 --> 00:22:39,980 OH. 452 00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,900 WHAT DO YOU THINK WALNUT GROVE'S CHANCES ARE 453 00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:43,310 IN THAT SPELLING BEE NEXT WEEK? 454 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,480 I JUST HOPE ERICH SCHILLER WINS. 455 00:22:45,650 --> 00:22:47,280 ME, TOO. DID YOU READ 456 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,490 WHAT MRS. OLESON WROTE ABOUT HIM IN THE PAPER? 457 00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:51,200 NO. I DON'T READ THAT PAPER ANYMORE, 458 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,820 LEASTWISE NOT MRS. OLESON'S PART OF IT. 459 00:22:53,990 --> 00:22:55,280 WE SET THE TYPE, 460 00:22:55,450 --> 00:22:57,160 SO WE HAVE TO READ IT. 461 00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:59,660 [MOCKING] "ERIC SCHILLER WAS VOTED TO REPRESENT 462 00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:02,170 "WALNUT GROVE IN THE ANNUAL SPELLING BEE. 463 00:23:02,330 --> 00:23:04,250 OF COURSE, WE WOULD ALL LIKE HIM TO WIN." 464 00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:07,000 OH, I'M SURPRISED. THAT'S VERY NICE... 465 00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:08,210 FOR HARRIET. 466 00:23:08,380 --> 00:23:10,010 WAIT, MA. THAT'S NOT ALL. 467 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:11,970 "HOWEVER, IT IS MOST UNLIKELY 468 00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:15,050 "BECAUSE ERICH COMES FROM AN ILLITERATE FAMILY, 469 00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:17,140 "THOUGH ERICH TRIES HARD TO CONCEAL 470 00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:19,100 THIS SAD AND EMBARRASSING FACT." 471 00:23:19,270 --> 00:23:21,140 WELL, THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE HARRIET. 472 00:23:21,310 --> 00:23:22,850 WHAT AN AWFUL THING TO SAY. 473 00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:26,650 OH, SHE'S JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE HER NELLIE WASN'T PICKED. 474 00:23:26,820 --> 00:23:28,610 ONE THING FOR SURE-- I'LL BE THERE 475 00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:30,900 AT THE SPELLING BEE ROOTING FOR ERICH. 476 00:23:31,070 --> 00:23:34,120 BY THE WAY, HOW YOU DOING ON YOUR SPELLING? 477 00:23:35,780 --> 00:23:37,490 DON'T ASK. 478 00:23:37,660 --> 00:23:40,450 MM. GOOD CHERRY PIE, MAMA. 479 00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:41,580 [SPEAKING GERMAN] 480 00:23:41,750 --> 00:23:42,670 DANKE, PAPA. 481 00:23:42,830 --> 00:23:44,830 WOULD YOU LIKE A LITTLE MORE? 482 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,210 NO, MAMA. 483 00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:49,760 YOU KNOW HOW I ENJOY TO SEE YOU EATING MY FOOD. 484 00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:55,140 HMM. NOW YOU READ THE PAPER FOR US, ERICH. HUH? 485 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,180 OH, SURE, PAPA. 486 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,680 "A FLOOD HITS WALNUT GROVE." 487 00:24:00,850 --> 00:24:01,890 WHAT FLOOD? 488 00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:04,060 Mr. Schiller: DON'T EVEN RAIN SINCE 3 WEEKS. 489 00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:06,270 HA HA! FALSE ALARM. 490 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,070 IT SAYS, "A FLOOD OF THE NEW EASTERN STYLES 491 00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:11,360 POURS INTO OLESON'S MERCANTILE." 492 00:24:11,530 --> 00:24:12,570 HA HA HA! 493 00:24:12,740 --> 00:24:14,950 THAT IS ONE CRAZY LADY. 494 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,660 OH, WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING BY HARRIET? 495 00:24:18,830 --> 00:24:21,370 WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING IN HERE ABOUT ME! 496 00:24:21,540 --> 00:24:24,000 READ IT! WHAT DOES IT SAY? 497 00:24:24,170 --> 00:24:25,580 [SPEAKING GERMAN] 498 00:24:25,750 --> 00:24:28,590 OH, IT SAYS, "ERICH SCHILLER HAS BEEN ELECTED 499 00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:31,550 "TO REPRESENT WALNUT GROVE IN THE ANNUAL SPELLING BEE. 500 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,090 OF COURSE, WE WOULD ALL LIKE HIM TO WIN." 501 00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:36,470 OH! OUR BOY, PAPA! 502 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,640 WELL, MAYBE SHE'S ONLY HALF-CRAZY. 503 00:24:41,350 --> 00:24:42,890 DOES IT SAY ANYTHING ELSE 504 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:44,440 ABOUT YOU, ERICH? 505 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,400 UH...NO, MOM. THAT'S IT. 506 00:24:52,570 --> 00:24:55,820 I THINK I'D BETTER GET SOME MORE FIREWOOD. 507 00:25:04,620 --> 00:25:06,420 [SIGHS] 508 00:25:18,430 --> 00:25:22,140 ...S-H-U-I-S. "REPETISHUIS." 509 00:25:22,310 --> 00:25:25,100 NO, JENNY. I'M SORRY. 510 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,230 ERICH, "REPETITIOUS." 511 00:25:34,690 --> 00:25:36,070 REPETITIOUS. 512 00:25:37,950 --> 00:25:40,740 R-E-P... 513 00:25:40,910 --> 00:25:44,660 I...T... 514 00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:49,460 I... 515 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,630 T-I-O-U-S: REPETITIOUS. 516 00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:58,840 CORRECT. 517 00:25:59,010 --> 00:26:01,850 [APPLAUSE] 518 00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:04,140 MEIN BIBLE. DIDN'T THINK IT COULD HURT. 519 00:26:04,310 --> 00:26:05,680 Alice: SARAH, WILL YOU SPELL "MIMOSACEOUS"? 520 00:26:05,850 --> 00:26:10,690 MIMOSACEOUS. M-I--MI... 521 00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:12,230 M-O-- 522 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,650 MIMOSA--S-A... 523 00:26:16,820 --> 00:26:21,320 C-E-O-U-S. 524 00:26:21,490 --> 00:26:24,740 [APPLAUSE] 525 00:26:24,910 --> 00:26:27,250 ERICH. 526 00:26:27,410 --> 00:26:29,540 "XANTHOPHYLL." 527 00:26:33,380 --> 00:26:35,090 XANTHOPHYLL. 528 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,760 X...A...N... 529 00:26:55,190 --> 00:26:58,940 T...H-O... 530 00:27:08,870 --> 00:27:10,960 P...H... 531 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,880 [PENCIL TAPPING] 532 00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:16,090 [SIGHS] 533 00:27:20,010 --> 00:27:22,550 I...L-L? 534 00:27:24,260 --> 00:27:26,100 I'M SORRY, ERICH. 535 00:27:28,350 --> 00:27:30,640 AW. 536 00:27:34,650 --> 00:27:36,440 ERICH! 537 00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:43,740 Alice: SARAH, "XANTHOPHYLL." 538 00:27:44,950 --> 00:27:47,580 Sarah: X-A-N... 539 00:27:47,740 --> 00:27:49,950 T-H-O... 540 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:53,500 P-H-Y-L-L: XANTHOPHYLL. 541 00:27:53,670 --> 00:27:55,330 Alice: CORRECT. 542 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,300 ERICH. MR. SCHILLER. 543 00:28:07,470 --> 00:28:09,640 AH, GOOD MORNING, MR. INGALLS. 544 00:28:09,810 --> 00:28:12,600 YOU LEFT YOUR BIBLE AT THE SPELLING BEE. 545 00:28:12,770 --> 00:28:15,980 I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU WHEN YOU CAME OUT AT CHURCH SUNDAY, 546 00:28:16,150 --> 00:28:17,650 BUT I DIDN'T SEE YOU. 547 00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:19,900 ERICH WAS SICK. DANKE. 548 00:28:20,070 --> 00:28:21,990 ERICH? 549 00:28:22,150 --> 00:28:24,780 MRS. GARVEY TOLD ME YOU QUIT SCHOOL. 550 00:28:24,950 --> 00:28:27,240 I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THAT. 551 00:28:27,410 --> 00:28:30,620 SHE SAID YOU HAD A VERY GOOD CHANCE FOR A SCHOLARSHIP. 552 00:28:32,250 --> 00:28:34,250 I DON'T NEED SCHOOL ANYMORE. 553 00:28:34,420 --> 00:28:36,790 PAPA'S DONE FINE WITHOUT IT. 554 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,000 I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. 555 00:28:39,170 --> 00:28:40,670 EVER SINCE THAT SPELLING MATCH, 556 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,340 ERICH DOES NOT LIKE SCHOOL, 557 00:28:42,510 --> 00:28:44,880 AND HE LIKED IT BEFORE...SO MUCH. 558 00:28:45,050 --> 00:28:47,800 YOU KNOW, NOBODY EXPECTED YOU TO WIN THAT SPELLING BEE. 559 00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:50,010 WE ALL KNOW YOU WERE TRYING TOO HARD 560 00:28:50,180 --> 00:28:52,560 BECAUSE OF WHAT MRS. OLESON WROTE IN THE PAPER. 561 00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:55,350 SHE ONLY SAY SHE HOPES ERICH WILL WIN. 562 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,600 NO, SIR. SHE SAID A LOT MORE THAN THAT. 563 00:28:57,770 --> 00:28:59,190 WHAT? 564 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,610 I THINK YOU SHOULD LET ERICH TELL YOU THAT. 565 00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:06,030 JUST REMEMBER, SON, IF YOU QUIT SCHOOL, 566 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,370 MRS. OLESON GETS HER PETTY REVENGE. 567 00:29:08,530 --> 00:29:11,370 THE ONLY ONE THAT'S GOING TO SUFFER IS YOU. 568 00:29:11,540 --> 00:29:14,040 YOU BEST HAVE A TALK WITH YOUR PA. 569 00:29:15,370 --> 00:29:17,250 MR. SCHILLER. 570 00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:28,510 WELL, WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY? 571 00:29:33,020 --> 00:29:35,060 WELL, SHE SAID THAT... 572 00:29:36,770 --> 00:29:40,110 SHE SAID I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN BECAUSE... 573 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,980 WELL, BECAUSE YOU AND MAMA WERE ILLITERATE. 574 00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:47,240 WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THIS BEFORE? 575 00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:50,870 WELL, I DIDN'T WANT YOU AND MAMA TO BE HURT. 576 00:29:51,030 --> 00:29:53,950 THAT WOMAN CANNOT HURT US, ERICH. 577 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,460 WE ONLY GET HURT IF YOU DO NOT GO BACK TO SCHOOL 578 00:29:57,620 --> 00:29:59,210 SO YOU CAN BECOME BETTER THAN WE ARE. 579 00:29:59,380 --> 00:30:01,210 WELL, THAT'S JUST IT, PAPA. 580 00:30:01,380 --> 00:30:04,340 I DON'T WANT TO BECOME BETTER THAN YOU ARE. I COULDN'T. 581 00:30:04,510 --> 00:30:06,510 AH, CABBAGEHEAD, BETTER EDUCATED! 582 00:30:06,670 --> 00:30:08,930 THAT'S THE WAY IT IS IN THIS COUNTRY. 583 00:30:09,090 --> 00:30:11,350 YOU COULD BECOME PRESIDENT! 584 00:30:15,390 --> 00:30:16,930 OH, PAPA. 585 00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:19,850 OH, PAPA, I LOVE YOU. 586 00:30:21,770 --> 00:30:24,440 I LOVE YOU, TOO, YOU... 587 00:30:24,610 --> 00:30:26,610 YOU CABBAGEHEAD. 588 00:30:26,780 --> 00:30:29,740 GO TO SCHOOL. NOW! 589 00:30:54,510 --> 00:30:55,560 WHOA. 590 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,850 TELL BY THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE HOW IT WENT. 591 00:30:58,020 --> 00:30:59,480 ALL THE WAY OVER THERE 592 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,140 TO SLEEPY EYE AND BACK FOR NOTHING. 593 00:31:01,310 --> 00:31:03,150 HOW COME? YOU WEREN'T ASKING FOR THAT BIG A LOAN. 594 00:31:03,310 --> 00:31:05,150 YOU MIGHT SAY IT WAS ONE OF HARRIET'S HAPPENINGS. 595 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,610 YOU KNOW THAT ARTICLE SHE WROTE ABOUT ME GOING BANKRUPT? 596 00:31:07,780 --> 00:31:08,900 YEAH. 597 00:31:09,070 --> 00:31:10,320 WELL, HE READ IT. 598 00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:12,450 YOU TOLD HIM IT WASN'T THE TRUTH, DIDN'T YOU? 599 00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:15,200 OF COURSE I DID. HE SAT THERE WITH A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE, 600 00:31:15,370 --> 00:31:17,240 LIKE A CAT THAT ATE A CANARY, AND SAID, 601 00:31:17,410 --> 00:31:20,210 "ALL I KNOW IS WHAT I READ IN THE PAPERS." 602 00:31:20,370 --> 00:31:21,670 THEN HE TURNED ME DOWN. 603 00:31:21,830 --> 00:31:23,000 I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 604 00:31:23,170 --> 00:31:24,500 THIS WHOLE THING IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. 605 00:31:24,670 --> 00:31:26,630 IT'S NOT JUST THIS. IT'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF THINGS. 606 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,960 I THINK IT'S TIME ONE OF US HAD A TALK WITH MURDOCK. 607 00:31:29,130 --> 00:31:30,470 YOU WANT TO COME ALONG? 608 00:31:30,630 --> 00:31:32,220 NO. THE WAY I FEEL RIGHT NOW, 609 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:35,760 I'M LIABLE TO DO MY TALKING WITH MY FISTS. 610 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,430 Charles: YOU HAD A CHANCE TO DO SOME GOOD 611 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,020 FOR THIS COMMUNITY, MR. MURDOCK. 612 00:31:42,190 --> 00:31:44,100 INSTEAD, YOU'VE BEEN USING YOUR NEWSPAPER, 613 00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:45,980 AND US, FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL PROFIT. 614 00:31:46,150 --> 00:31:47,520 THIS IS AMERICA, MR. INGALLS. 615 00:31:47,690 --> 00:31:50,070 EVERY BUSINESS IS ENTITLED TO MAKE A LEGITIMATE PROFIT, 616 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,360 EVEN NEWSPAPERS. 617 00:31:51,530 --> 00:31:53,490 COME ON. THIS ISN'T A LEGITIMATE NEWSPAPER. 618 00:31:53,660 --> 00:31:54,870 IT'S A SCANDAL SHEET. 619 00:31:55,030 --> 00:31:56,030 I RESENT THAT. 620 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:57,280 WELL, SO DO I! 621 00:31:57,450 --> 00:31:58,990 I RESENT THE FACT THAT YOUR COUSIN ONCE REMOVED 622 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,200 USES HER PEN TO WRITE LIES, LIES THAT HURT PEOPLE, 623 00:32:01,370 --> 00:32:03,710 TO SQUARE GRUDGES AND TO PROMOTE HERSELF AND HER BUSINESS. 624 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,290 HARRIET IS ONLY DOING HER JOB-- 625 00:32:05,460 --> 00:32:07,040 REPORTING THE NEWS OF WALNUT GROVE. 626 00:32:07,210 --> 00:32:09,550 THAT'S NOT NEWS. IT'S VINDICTIVE GOSSIP, AND YOU KNOW IT. 627 00:32:09,710 --> 00:32:11,210 CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL. 628 00:32:11,380 --> 00:32:13,800 I GIVE THE PUBLIC WHAT IT WANTS, 629 00:32:13,970 --> 00:32:16,850 AND THE PROOF IS THAT SUBSCRIPTIONS ARE STILL POURING IN, 630 00:32:17,010 --> 00:32:18,220 AND SO ARE THE ADS. 631 00:32:18,390 --> 00:32:19,560 THEY GO HAND IN HAND. 632 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,390 WELL, NOT IN MY HAND. I DON'T BUY GARBAGE. 633 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,020 I UNDERSTAND YOU OWE MY CHILDREN A WEEK'S PAY. 634 00:32:25,190 --> 00:32:27,440 THEY'LL BE IN THIS AFTERNOON TO COLLECT IT. 635 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,280 [DOOR SLAMS] 636 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,080 [DOG BARKS] 637 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,740 OH! GO ON, SCAT! 638 00:32:40,910 --> 00:32:42,040 [BARKS] 639 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:45,750 AAH! IS THAT YOUR DOG? TAKE HIM AWAY! 640 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:46,920 GET OUT OF HERE! 641 00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:49,420 OH! AAH! AAH! GET AWAY! 642 00:32:49,590 --> 00:32:52,760 OOH! WHY DO PEOPLE BRING THEIR DOGS INTO TOWN? 643 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,760 THEY SHOULD BE ON THE FARM. 644 00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:58,550 OOH-HOO! YOUR STAR REPORTER'S HERE. 645 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,600 OH! WHERE'S COUSIN STERLING? 646 00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,890 HE WENT DOWN TO TELEGRAPH FOR SOME MORE NEWSPRINT 647 00:33:03,060 --> 00:33:04,230 FOR NEXT WEEK'S PAPER. 648 00:33:04,390 --> 00:33:05,310 OH! WELL-- 649 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:06,520 WE'RE JUST WAITING TO GET PAID. 650 00:33:06,690 --> 00:33:08,480 UH-HUH. ISN'T IT MARVELOUS? 651 00:33:08,650 --> 00:33:12,440 THE DEMAND HAS EXCEEDED MY WILDEST EXPECTATIONS. 652 00:33:12,610 --> 00:33:15,990 NOW, I WANT TO CHECK MY COPY BEFORE IT GOES TO PRESS. 653 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,610 HA HA HA HA! 654 00:33:17,780 --> 00:33:19,660 "GIGANTIC SURPLUS SALE. 655 00:33:19,830 --> 00:33:22,450 40% OFF EVERYTHING." YES. 656 00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:25,830 "THERE IS A RUMOR BEING WIDELY CIRCULATED 657 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,960 "THAT NELLIE OLESON PROBABLY HAS 658 00:33:28,130 --> 00:33:31,170 "THE HIGHEST MORAL CHARACTER IN THE COMMUNITY. 659 00:33:31,340 --> 00:33:34,630 SHE WON'T BE SEEN OUT WITH A BOY AT NIGHT." 660 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,140 [HUMMING] 661 00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:39,470 AHA! 662 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,180 "MRS. OLESON HAS BEEN RECEIVING MANY, MANY COMPLIMENTS 663 00:33:43,350 --> 00:33:46,640 "ON HER LIKENESS IN THE PEN & THE PLOW. 664 00:33:46,810 --> 00:33:50,730 "SOME SAY THAT IT BRINGS OUT HER NATURAL BEAUTY, 665 00:33:50,900 --> 00:33:54,570 AND OTHERS SAY IT DOESN'T QUITE DO HER JUSTICE." 666 00:33:54,740 --> 00:33:59,450 ALL RIGHT. EVERYTHING APPEARS TO BE IN ORDER. 667 00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:02,160 YOU MAY TELL COUSIN STERLING 668 00:34:02,330 --> 00:34:05,750 THAT HE MAY GO TO PRESS WHENEVER HE LIKES. TA-TA! 669 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,420 [MOCKING] TA-TA! 670 00:34:28,140 --> 00:34:31,650 YOU KNOW, I THINK WE OUGHT TO CHECK THIS TYPE AGAIN. 671 00:34:31,810 --> 00:34:33,650 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. 672 00:34:33,820 --> 00:34:35,820 BESIDES, PA SAID WE CAN'T. 673 00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:37,530 I KNOW WHAT HE SAID, 674 00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:40,910 BUT I THOUGHT WE MIGHT CHANGE IT A LITTLE BIT... 675 00:34:41,070 --> 00:34:43,160 IF YOU GET MY MEANING. 676 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,000 I GET IT. 677 00:34:48,580 --> 00:34:52,000 OH, BOY, DO I GET IT! 678 00:34:57,130 --> 00:34:59,840 Woman: OH, IT'S SO EXCITING! 679 00:35:00,010 --> 00:35:03,760 OH! NELS. HA HA HA! 680 00:35:03,930 --> 00:35:06,310 IT'S GOING TO BE A BANNER DAY! 681 00:35:06,470 --> 00:35:08,140 THEY'RE COMING IN DROVES. 682 00:35:08,310 --> 00:35:10,230 LIKE SHEEP TO THE SHEARING. 683 00:35:16,730 --> 00:35:20,400 AH! OH, MY! OH, GOOD MORNING! 684 00:35:20,570 --> 00:35:22,360 GOOD MORNING! GOOD MORNING! 685 00:35:22,530 --> 00:35:24,450 COME IN, COME IN, COME IN! 686 00:35:24,620 --> 00:35:26,990 MORNING. WELCOME. 687 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,330 UH, DID...UH... 688 00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:32,710 I-I'LL PUT IT ON, UH...YOUR... 689 00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,420 GOOD MORNING, MRS. FOSTER. 690 00:35:34,590 --> 00:35:36,590 WELCOME TO THE SALE TO END ALL SALES. 691 00:35:36,750 --> 00:35:38,630 IT CERTAINLY SHOULD. 692 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,720 IS THERE SOMETHING IN PARTICULAR YOU HAD IN MIND? 693 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,220 WELL, I'VE BEEN WANTING A MANTEL CLOCK. 694 00:35:44,390 --> 00:35:45,220 OH. 695 00:35:45,390 --> 00:35:46,430 COULDN'T AFFORD IT. 696 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:47,890 UH-HUH. 697 00:35:48,060 --> 00:35:50,350 BUT WITH A SALE LIKE THIS, ANYONE CAN AFFORD ANYTHING! 698 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,480 OH, YES. WELL, NOW, THIS IS OUR VERY BEST MODEL. 699 00:35:53,650 --> 00:35:56,770 OH, IT'S SO NICE. I'LL TAKE IT! 700 00:35:56,940 --> 00:35:58,780 WELL, WAIT, MRS. FOSTER. 701 00:35:58,940 --> 00:36:00,740 YOU HAVEN'T PAID ME FOR IT YET. 702 00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:03,570 OF COURSE NOT. IT SAYS RIGHT HERE IN THIS PAPER... 703 00:36:03,740 --> 00:36:04,780 YES. 704 00:36:04,950 --> 00:36:07,620 PUBLIC SERVICE SALE. 100% OFF OF EVERYTHING. 705 00:36:07,790 --> 00:36:08,990 100%! WHAT?! 706 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,250 THANK YOU, HARRIET, FOR THE CLOCK. 707 00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:11,750 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! 708 00:36:11,910 --> 00:36:13,460 NO, NO, THAT'S A MISTAKE! 709 00:36:13,620 --> 00:36:14,540 WONDERFUL SALE! 710 00:36:14,710 --> 00:36:16,250 Nels: HARRIET! WHAT'S HAPPENING? 711 00:36:16,420 --> 00:36:17,710 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! WELL, YOU CAN'T GO OUT WITH THAT! 712 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,460 WHAT IN THE NAME OF HEAVEN DID YOU DO? 713 00:36:19,630 --> 00:36:21,210 YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT! OH, IT'S A GROSS ERROR! 714 00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:22,550 GET IN HERE. GET IN HERE! 715 00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:23,840 NO, NELS! NELS! THE STORE IS CLOSED! 716 00:36:24,010 --> 00:36:26,300 NELS! NELS, ALL OUR MERCHANDISE! 717 00:36:26,470 --> 00:36:28,760 NELS! OHH! 718 00:36:35,310 --> 00:36:38,860 NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A REAL HAPPENING. 719 00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,650 NICE THING IS, IT'S HAPPENING TO HARRIET. 720 00:36:41,820 --> 00:36:42,900 [BOTH LAUGHING] 721 00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:44,490 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 722 00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:46,490 I'VE GOT ALL THE DOORS LOCKED. 723 00:36:46,660 --> 00:36:47,660 I HATE YOU! 724 00:36:47,830 --> 00:36:48,910 NELLIE! WHAT? 725 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,660 I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER ANYMORE! 726 00:36:50,830 --> 00:36:51,910 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 727 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,330 WHAT IT SAYS HERE. 728 00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:54,660 "WITH NELLIE OLESON'S LOOKS, 729 00:36:54,830 --> 00:36:56,960 NO BOY WILL BE SEEN OUT WITH HER AT NIGHT!" 730 00:36:57,130 --> 00:37:00,550 OH! OH! I DIDN'T WRITE THAT! 731 00:37:00,710 --> 00:37:03,130 OH! THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! 732 00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:05,720 THERE'S NO SUCH WORD AS CAN'T, HARRIET. 733 00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:08,850 WAIT TILL YOU READ WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT YOU, 734 00:37:09,010 --> 00:37:11,010 RIGHT AT THE TOP. 735 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,810 "WE HAVE IT FROM A MOST RELIABLE SOURCE 736 00:37:14,980 --> 00:37:16,810 THAT MRS. OLESON'S HAIR IS..." 737 00:37:16,980 --> 00:37:19,150 HUH! "IS NOT ALL HER OWN, 738 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,650 AND NEITHER ARE HER TEETH." 739 00:37:21,820 --> 00:37:24,110 [SOBBING] NELS! 740 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,400 [CRYING] 741 00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:35,330 [COW MOOING] 742 00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:37,580 Harriet: I TELL YOU, CAROLINE INGALLS, 743 00:37:37,750 --> 00:37:39,960 I AM SO MAD, I COULD SPIT! 744 00:37:40,130 --> 00:37:41,460 Caroline: MY DEAR HARRIET, 745 00:37:41,630 --> 00:37:43,420 THE CHILDREN ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR WHAT THEY DID. 746 00:37:43,590 --> 00:37:46,380 Harriet: HOW? I WANT TO KNOW, HOW ARE THEY BEING PUNISHED? 747 00:37:46,550 --> 00:37:50,050 THEY CAN'T WORK FOR THE PAPER ANYMORE. 748 00:37:50,220 --> 00:37:51,760 THEY CAN'T WORK-- 749 00:37:51,930 --> 00:37:54,560 OF COURSE THEY CAN'T WORK FOR THE PAPER ANYMORE! 750 00:37:54,730 --> 00:37:55,930 GOOD GRIEF, WOMAN! 751 00:37:56,100 --> 00:37:58,230 THEY SHOULD BE HORSEWHIPPED FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE, 752 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,730 TELLING THOSE MONSTROUS LIES ABOUT ME AND NELLIE! 753 00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:03,070 [SOBBING] 754 00:38:03,230 --> 00:38:06,490 WELL, IF THE ITEMS WERE WRONG, 755 00:38:06,650 --> 00:38:09,240 AND I DON'T KNOW THAT THEY WERE-- 756 00:38:09,410 --> 00:38:13,620 WRONG? WELL, OF COURSE THEY WERE WRONG! 757 00:38:13,790 --> 00:38:15,870 THEN YOU CAN ALWAYS PRINT A RETRACTION. 758 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,660 PUT IT RIGHT ON THE FRONT PAGE. 759 00:38:17,830 --> 00:38:18,920 DON'T STICK IT WAY IN THE BACK. 760 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:22,090 SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF, UM... 761 00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:24,800 "CONTRARY TO PUBLISHED REPORTS, 762 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,550 "HARRIET OLESON DOES NOT HAVE FALSE TEETH 763 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:30,010 AND DOES NOT WEAR A WIG." 764 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,890 Willie: GET YOUR SPECIAL EDITION. "PEN & PLOW." 765 00:38:39,060 --> 00:38:42,060 GET YOUR PAPER. "HARRIET'S HAPPENINGS." 766 00:38:49,450 --> 00:38:51,280 FISH WEREN'T BITING, HUH? 767 00:38:51,450 --> 00:38:52,870 WE WERE CATCHING SOME. 768 00:38:53,030 --> 00:38:55,200 HOW COME YOU CAME HOME SO EARLY? 769 00:38:55,370 --> 00:38:57,120 BECAUSE OF THIS. 770 00:38:57,290 --> 00:39:00,080 LOOK, I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT ANY MEMBER OF MY FAMILY 771 00:39:00,250 --> 00:39:01,620 BUYING THAT NEWSPAPER AGAIN. 772 00:39:01,790 --> 00:39:02,880 WE DIDN'T BUY IT. 773 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,960 NELLIE OLESON BROUGHT IT TO US AT THE POND. 774 00:39:05,130 --> 00:39:06,550 SHE TOLD US HER MOTHER SAID 775 00:39:06,710 --> 00:39:09,220 SHE WANTED ALBERT TO HAVE ONE FOR FREE. 776 00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:10,970 WELL, WHAT DID SHE SAY? 777 00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:13,010 YOU WANT TO READ IT? 778 00:39:13,180 --> 00:39:14,550 YEAH. 779 00:39:16,470 --> 00:39:18,680 IT'S RIGHT HERE AT THE TOP. 780 00:39:18,850 --> 00:39:22,480 "THE JOKE OF WALNUT GROVE. 781 00:39:22,650 --> 00:39:25,360 "THE WHOLE TOWN IS LAUGHING OVER THE FACT 782 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:29,070 "THAT CHARLES INGALLS' YOUNG HOUSEGUEST, ALBERT NO-NAME, 783 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,950 "CALLS CHARLES PA. 784 00:39:32,110 --> 00:39:35,120 "HE EVEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO REGISTER THE BOY 785 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:39,000 "IN WALNUT GROVE'S SCHOOL AS ALBERT INGALLS. 786 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,040 "BUT WHO ARE WE TO LAUGH? 787 00:39:41,210 --> 00:39:44,000 "PERHAPS THE BOY REALLY IS CHARLES', 788 00:39:44,170 --> 00:39:48,420 IN WHICH CASE THE JOKE IS ON CAROLINE INGALLS." 789 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,760 I'M SORRY. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. 790 00:39:52,930 --> 00:39:55,850 IT WAS MY IDEA TO CHANGE THE TYPE. 791 00:39:56,010 --> 00:39:58,100 WE JUST WANTED TO TEACH HER A LESSON, 792 00:39:58,270 --> 00:40:00,520 GIVE HER A TASTE OF HER OWN MEDICINE. 793 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,230 I KNOW. IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT. 794 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:07,820 UM, I'LL TELL MRS. GARVEY TO CHANGE MY NAME 795 00:40:07,980 --> 00:40:09,690 BACK TO JUST PLAIN ALBERT. 796 00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:11,030 YOU'LL DO NO SUCH THING, 797 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,280 NOT BECAUSE OF THE LIKES OF MRS. OLESON. 798 00:40:14,450 --> 00:40:16,450 DO YOU LIKE BEING MY SON? 799 00:40:17,580 --> 00:40:18,950 WELL, SURE. 800 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,700 WELL, I LIKE BEING YOUR PA, SO THAT'S THE END OF THAT. 801 00:40:21,870 --> 00:40:25,040 THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCHILLERS IN THERE, TOO. 802 00:40:25,210 --> 00:40:26,750 LET ME SEE. 803 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:31,760 "AS REPORTED EARLIER IN THIS COLUMN, 804 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,050 "IT WAS A SAD MISTAKE TO PICK 805 00:40:33,220 --> 00:40:34,550 "THE SON OF ILLITERATE PARENTS 806 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:36,890 "TO REPRESENT WALNUT GROVE IN THE SPELLING CONTEST. 807 00:40:37,050 --> 00:40:40,100 "PERHAPS MRS. GARVEY HAS LEARNED HER LESSON THIS TIME. 808 00:40:40,270 --> 00:40:42,140 "BY THE WAY, MR. GARVEY IS CONSIDERING 809 00:40:42,310 --> 00:40:44,850 "BUYING HIS WIFE A HAM FOR THEIR 15th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. 810 00:40:45,020 --> 00:40:46,310 I CALL THAT TRUE LOVE." 811 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,860 I JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP BUYING THIS TRASH. 812 00:40:49,020 --> 00:40:50,150 BUT THEY DON'T. 813 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:53,070 NELLIE SAID THIS WAS THE LAST ONE. 814 00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:55,410 THEY'RE ALL SOLD OUT. 815 00:40:56,910 --> 00:40:58,740 WELL, IT'S NOT GOING TO DO ANY GOOD, 816 00:40:58,910 --> 00:41:00,790 BUT COME CHURCH SERVICES THIS SUNDAY, 817 00:41:00,950 --> 00:41:02,000 THE FOLKS IN THIS TOWN 818 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:03,410 ARE GOING TO LEARN A LITTLE BIT 819 00:41:03,580 --> 00:41:05,670 ABOUT THE "PEN & THE PLOW." 820 00:41:10,250 --> 00:41:12,460 [CHURCH BELL RINGING] 821 00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:39,740 [BABY CRYING] 822 00:41:45,330 --> 00:41:46,960 PEACE BE WITH YOU. 823 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:48,630 Woman: AND WITH YOU. 824 00:41:48,790 --> 00:41:51,000 IN REVEREND ALDEN'S ABSENCE, 825 00:41:51,170 --> 00:41:53,210 I GUESS I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS THIS MORNING. 826 00:41:53,380 --> 00:41:54,760 I FORGOT MY BIBLE. 827 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,180 MR. SCHILLER WAS KIND ENOUGH TO LEND ME HIS. 828 00:41:58,340 --> 00:42:00,510 THE TEXT I'VE CHOSEN FOR THIS MORNING 829 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,560 IS "EXODUS" CHAPTER 20, VERSE 16. 830 00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:08,310 I THINK IT ONLY FITTING THAT THE OUTSTANDING CITIZEN OF WALNUT GROVE 831 00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,860 READ THAT TEXT FOR US THIS MORNING. 832 00:42:11,020 --> 00:42:12,690 MRS. OLESON. 833 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,320 WOULD YOU MIND? 834 00:42:29,330 --> 00:42:31,040 "EXODUS" 20:16. 835 00:42:31,210 --> 00:42:32,670 YES. 836 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,180 I CAN'T READ THIS! 837 00:42:42,350 --> 00:42:44,260 WHY? ARE YOU ILLITERATE? 838 00:42:44,430 --> 00:42:46,020 WELL, OF COURSE NOT! 839 00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:49,520 IT'S WRITTEN IN SOME KIND OF FOREIGN GIBBERISH. 840 00:42:49,690 --> 00:42:51,900 IT'S NOT GIBBERISH. IT'S GERMAN. 841 00:42:54,570 --> 00:42:56,440 WELL! BECAUSE I CAN'T READ GERMAN 842 00:42:56,610 --> 00:42:58,360 DOESN'T MAKE ME ILLITERATE. 843 00:42:58,530 --> 00:42:59,860 I AGREE WITH YOU, 844 00:43:00,030 --> 00:43:02,200 AND, BY THE SAME TOKEN, I THINK YOU'LL AGREE WITH ME 845 00:43:02,370 --> 00:43:03,990 THAT NOT BEING ABLE TO READ ENGLISH 846 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,750 DOESN'T MAKE MR. AND MRS. SCHILLER ILLITERATE, EITHER. 847 00:43:15,130 --> 00:43:18,460 Charles: AS A MATTER OF FACT, FAR FROM BEING ILLITERATE, 848 00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:20,720 MR. AND MRS. SCHILLER SPEAK TWO LANGUAGES, 849 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,720 WHICH, I THINK, IS MORE THAN MOST OF US 850 00:43:22,890 --> 00:43:24,720 IN THIS CHURCH CAN CLAIM. 851 00:43:24,890 --> 00:43:26,600 THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE IN THIS CHURCH 852 00:43:26,770 --> 00:43:29,020 THAT SPEAKS TWO LANGUAGES... 853 00:43:29,180 --> 00:43:30,560 MR. STERLING MURDOCK. 854 00:43:30,730 --> 00:43:34,060 MR. MURDOCK'S SECOND LANGUAGE IS THAT OF HIS NEWSPAPER, 855 00:43:34,230 --> 00:43:35,860 THE "PEN & THE PLOW." 856 00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:39,030 IT'S A LANGUAGE MADE UP OF HALF-TRUTHS, 857 00:43:39,190 --> 00:43:41,200 INNUENDOS, AND OUTRIGHT LIES. 858 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,320 IT'S THE LANGUAGE OF YELLOW JOURNALISM. 859 00:43:43,490 --> 00:43:45,990 I DO NOT THINK CHURCH IS THE PROPER PLACE 860 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:47,290 TO DISCUSS THIS SORT OF THING. 861 00:43:47,450 --> 00:43:49,870 AND I MOST CERTAINLY AGREE WITH STERLING! 862 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,660 WELL, I DON'T. I THINK IT'S A PERFECT PLACE. 863 00:43:51,830 --> 00:43:53,500 I DON'T THINK THERE'S A BETTER PLACE IN THE WORLD. 864 00:43:53,670 --> 00:43:55,840 WOULD YOU SIT DOWN, MRS. OLESON? 865 00:44:02,260 --> 00:44:05,260 WHEN I TALKED TO MR. MURDOCK ABOUT THE HARM 866 00:44:05,430 --> 00:44:07,260 THAT HIS NEWSPAPER WAS DOING, 867 00:44:07,430 --> 00:44:08,970 HE SHUT ME OFF. 868 00:44:09,140 --> 00:44:12,270 HE CLAIMED HIS RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF THE PRESS. 869 00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:13,770 WELL, AS I SEE IT, 870 00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:15,940 FREEDOM OF THE PRESS DOESN'T GIVE ANYONE THE RIGHT 871 00:44:16,110 --> 00:44:19,860 TO PRINT LIES THAT BLACKEN A PERSON'S NAME... 872 00:44:20,030 --> 00:44:21,820 AND CAUSE PAIN, 873 00:44:21,990 --> 00:44:24,860 AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE "PEN & THE PLOW" IS DOING, 874 00:44:25,030 --> 00:44:26,910 IN DIRECT CONFLICT WITH THE TEXT 875 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,950 THAT I CHOSE THIS MORNING, 876 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:30,950 THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT: 877 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,580 "THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR." 878 00:44:34,750 --> 00:44:39,710 BUT MR. MURDOCK TOLD ME THAT IS THE LANGUAGE THAT YOU ALL WANT TO READ. 879 00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,630 AND APPARENTLY HE'S RIGHT. 880 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,430 AND I'VE ASKED MYSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN, 881 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,010 WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THAT PAPER? 882 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,440 DO YOU DERIVE THAT MUCH PLEASURE 883 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,400 FROM THE PAIN AND SUFFERING OF OTHERS? 884 00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:01,110 OR IS IT BECAUSE IT'S NOT YOU THAT'S BEING HURT? 885 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,450 WHEN YOU GO OUT AND BUY THAT NEWSPAPER 886 00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:08,870 ON SATURDAY MORNING... 887 00:45:09,030 --> 00:45:11,330 YOU ARE SUPPORTING AND ENCOURAGING 888 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:15,330 THE VERY SINS THAT YOU DECRY IN THIS CHURCH ON SUNDAY. 889 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:19,340 WELL, I THINK IT'S TIME 890 00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:21,630 THAT WE BEGIN TO PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH 891 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,340 INSIDE THIS CHURCH, OUTSIDE THIS CHURCH... 892 00:45:25,590 --> 00:45:28,390 ON THE STREETS OF WALNUT GROVE... 893 00:45:28,550 --> 00:45:32,470 ON OUR FARMS, IN OUR HOMES... 894 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:36,140 WITH OUR FRIENDS, OUR NEIGHBORS... 895 00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:40,150 AND OUR LOVED ONES... 896 00:45:42,570 --> 00:45:45,740 WITH EVERY HUMAN BEING EVERYWHERE. 897 00:45:49,780 --> 00:45:53,160 IN THE NAME OF GOD, THINK ABOUT IT. 898 00:46:07,470 --> 00:46:10,760 SHALL WE RISE AND SING "WHAT A FRIEND"? 899 00:46:20,900 --> 00:46:26,440 WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS 900 00:46:26,610 --> 00:46:31,070 ALL OUR SINS AND GRIEFS TO BEAR 901 00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:36,750 WHAT A PRIVILEGE TO CARRY 902 00:46:36,910 --> 00:46:41,080 EVERYTHING TO GOD IN PRAYER! 903 00:46:41,250 --> 00:46:43,340 OF COURSE, WE'RE NOT OPEN USUALLY ON SUNDAY, 904 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:45,300 BUT IF YOU STOP BY AFTER THE SERVICE, 905 00:46:45,460 --> 00:46:47,470 I'VE GOT THAT ITEM THAT YOU ORDERED. 906 00:46:47,630 --> 00:46:51,890 O WHAT NEEDLESS PAIN WE BEAR 907 00:46:52,050 --> 00:46:57,350 ALL BECAUSE WE DO NOT CARRY 908 00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:02,190 EVERYTHING TO GOD IN PRAYER 909 00:47:11,620 --> 00:47:14,530 Laura: THE "PEN & THE PLOW" WENT OUT OF BUSINESS 910 00:47:14,700 --> 00:47:15,950 A MONTH LATER, 911 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,120 AND WALNUT GROVE GOT BACK TO NORMAL. 912 00:47:18,290 --> 00:47:20,830 PA HOPES SOMEDAY WE'LL HAVE ANOTHER NEWSPAPER, 913 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,710 A REAL NEWSPAPER THAT PRINTS THE TRUTH. 914 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,670 FREEDOM OF THE PRESS, PA SAYS, 915 00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,920 IS AS IMPORTANT AS ALL OUR OTHER FREEDOMS 916 00:47:29,090 --> 00:47:31,510 AND SHOULD NEVER BE ABUSED. 65591

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