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1
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,667
I AM AFRAID
IT'S A NO ON LUNCH.
2
00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:15,959
BEV JUST ISN'T UP FOR IT.
3
00:00:15,959 --> 00:00:17,917
UNLESS YOU WANT TO DO IT
WITHOUT HER.
4
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:19,250
IT FEELS A LITTLE WEIRD.
5
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,667
Sweetie, it's a sandwich,
not a blow job.
6
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:26,792
KIM SALLY, AS PROMISED,
THIS IS SEAN LINCOLN.
7
00:00:29,709 --> 00:00:32,250
THIS IS AWESOME!
GOOD NEWS?
8
00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:34,667
YOU KNOW THAT GUY WHO GOT
MY PART IN THE NBC PILOT?
9
00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,834
[ Singsongy voice ]
PARALYZED!
10
00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:38,166
OH, MY GOD.
11
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:43,667
THE MAN IS PARALYZED.
12
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:45,417
[ Normal voice ] JESUS!
13
00:00:45,417 --> 00:00:49,291
BE HAPPY FOR ME FOR ONCE!
14
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:52,041
[ TYPEWRITER CLICKING,
BELL CHIMES ]
15
00:00:55,166 --> 00:00:57,250
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
16
00:01:02,709 --> 00:01:05,208
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
17
00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:32,041
[ GUNSHOT ]
18
00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:48,500
THERE HE IS!
19
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,583
HEY.
20
00:01:50,583 --> 00:01:51,375
[ LAUGHS ]
21
00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:56,333
SO, WHAT'S UP?
22
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,250
SHOULD I BE WORRIED?
23
00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:00,333
WHAT? I CAN'T TAKE
MY FAVORITE CLIENT TO LUNCH?
24
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:01,625
WE GOT A LOT TO CELEBRATE.
25
00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:02,917
LAST WEEK OF "PUCKS."
26
00:02:02,917 --> 00:02:05,000
IT'S WORTH A STEAK SALAD.
27
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,125
OKAY. GOOD.
28
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:07,125
I GOT NERVOUS.
29
00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:08,208
THOUGHT YOU
WERE GONNA TELL ME,
30
00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:10,083
LIKE, THAT GUY'S
NOT PARALYZED ANYMORE.
31
00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:13,625
RELAX. IT'S APPARENTLY A LOT
WORSE THAN THEY THOUGHT.
32
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,166
OKAY. PHEW!
33
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:17,709
SO, WHERE ARE WE
WITH THE NBC THING?
34
00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:18,500
DO WE HAVE A DEAL?
35
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,917
EH...
36
00:02:19,917 --> 00:02:20,959
SO I SHOULD BE WORRIED.
37
00:02:20,959 --> 00:02:23,041
NO, NOT "WORRIED" WORRIED.
38
00:02:23,041 --> 00:02:25,709
NOW, LOOK -- THE WRITER,
THE BRITISH GUY,
39
00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:27,375
TOTALLY WANTS YOU.
40
00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:29,959
YOU'RE HIS FIRST CHOICE,
ONLY ONE ON HIS LIST.
41
00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:31,875
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
SO?
42
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:36,792
SO THE NETWORK IS SAYING
THAT THEY NEED TO HEAR YOU READ.
43
00:02:36,792 --> 00:02:37,792
GET THE FUCK OUT.
44
00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:39,125
WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?
45
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,125
YOU'VE NEVER DONE DRAMA.
46
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:41,917
HAVE THEY SEEN "PUCKS"?
YEAH.
47
00:02:41,917 --> 00:02:44,458
THAT'S PROBABLY ANOTHER REASON
THEY WANT YOU TO READ.
48
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:45,792
WELL, SCREW THEM.
49
00:02:45,792 --> 00:02:47,250
I'M NOT READING FOR NBC.
50
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,834
I WORKED THERE
FOR 12 YEARS.
51
00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,166
THAT WAS A LIFETIME AGO.
52
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:51,750
EVERYONE WHO WAS THERE
WHEN YOU WERE THERE,
53
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:54,417
THEY'RE THAT PILE OF BONES
IN THE CORNER.
54
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:56,000
JESUS.
55
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,583
AUDITION?
56
00:02:57,583 --> 00:02:59,375
I KNOW, BUT THAT'S THE WORLD
WE LIVE IN.
57
00:02:59,375 --> 00:03:01,709
IF LUCILLE BALL
CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD,
58
00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:03,542
THEY'D MAKE HER READ TO SEE
IF SHE'S STILL FUNNY.
59
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:07,959
ALTHOUGH I GOT TO SAY, SHE
WASN'T...THAT FUNNY AT THE END.
60
00:03:07,959 --> 00:03:09,291
NOBODY'S FUNNY AT THE END.
61
00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:11,417
MM.
62
00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:12,417
WHAT IF WE SAY NO?
63
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:14,000
WELL, THEN THEY SAY NO.
UGH.
64
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,208
LISTEN, I'VE BEEN
AROUND AND AROUND
65
00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:16,333
WITH THESE IDIOTS ON THIS.
66
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,709
IT'S A NONSTARTER.
67
00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:19,500
IF YOU REALLY WANT IT --
68
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,000
YOU KNOW I WANT IT.
69
00:03:22,792 --> 00:03:25,041
BUT I'M NOT READING.
70
00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:26,458
YOU SURE?
71
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:27,750
YEAH.
72
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,125
IT'S INSULTING.
73
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,083
THEY KNOW WHAT I CAN DO.
74
00:03:30,083 --> 00:03:32,000
I'M NOT GONNA JUMP
THROUGH THEIR HOOPS.
75
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,542
OKAY.
THAT'S WHAT I'LL TELL THEM.
76
00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:34,750
CHRIST.
I KNOW!
77
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:35,959
WHAT CAN I SAY?
78
00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:37,875
IT'S A GIANT HAIRY ASS FUCK.
79
00:03:37,875 --> 00:03:38,834
WE'RE READY TO ORDER.
80
00:03:42,875 --> 00:03:45,500
I'M THINKING IT'S TIME
TO STOP TAKING THE MEDS.
81
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,959
I FIRMLY DISAGREE.
82
00:03:47,959 --> 00:03:51,208
I'M TELLING YOU,
I REALLY FEEL OKAY.
83
00:03:51,208 --> 00:03:54,250
I'M CALM.
I'M CENTERED.
84
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:57,166
NOTHING'S TALKING
THAT SHOULDN'T BE TALKING.
85
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:59,208
I'M REALLY GOOD.
86
00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:02,208
THE REASON YOU'RE GOOD
IS BECAUSE OF THE MEDS.
87
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:06,041
IT WOULD BE A HUGE MISTAKE
TO STOP NOW.
88
00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:07,709
I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.
89
00:04:07,709 --> 00:04:09,250
OKAY. OKAY.
90
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,709
I HEAR YOU.
91
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:11,750
THAT'S FINE.
92
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:15,208
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
93
00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:28,458
[ SIGHS ]
94
00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:30,792
AAH!
95
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:53,834
[ SIGHS ]
96
00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:55,542
YOU'RE AWFULLY QUIET.
97
00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:57,458
AM I?
98
00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,917
WELL, CONSIDERING "AM I?"
99
00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:03,250
IS THE FIRST THING YOU'VE SAID
SINCE WE STARTED, YES.
100
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:09,333
SO, IS "AM I?" ALSO THE LAST
THING YOU'RE GOING TO SAY?
101
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:10,667
MAYBE.
102
00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:11,792
WHAT'S GOING ON?
103
00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:13,792
NOTHING.
104
00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:15,000
WHAT?
105
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,417
[ Mockingly ] "WHAT?"
106
00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:19,417
YOU ARE ACTING VERY WEIRD.
107
00:05:19,417 --> 00:05:20,959
[ Normal voice ] AM I?
AREN'T YOU?
108
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:22,291
I'LL JUST SAY THIS --
109
00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,041
THERE ARE NO SECRETS
IN THIS TOWN.
110
00:05:24,041 --> 00:05:27,000
AND YET
YOU SEEM TO HAVE ONE.
111
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,959
[ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
112
00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:30,458
ISN'T IT FUNNY?
113
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:33,291
WITH ALL YOUR JUDGMENTS
AND YOUR MORAL HIGH GROUND --
114
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,917
THERE YOU GO.
LET IT OUT.
115
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,834
[ As Beverly ]
"EVERYONE'S SO PHONY HERE.
116
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,000
"YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE.
117
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,709
THEY'LL LIE TO YOUR FACE."
118
00:05:39,709 --> 00:05:41,000
[ Normal voice ]
WELL, GUESS WHAT.
119
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,834
YOU'RE NO BETTER
THAN WE ARE!
120
00:05:42,834 --> 00:05:48,333
IN FACT, I WOULD NEVER DO TO YOU
WHAT YOU DID TO ME!
121
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,291
I HAVE TO SAY
122
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:54,208
I AM NOW SIMULTANEOUSLY
TROUBLED AND EXCITED
123
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,125
TO FIND OUT WHAT I DID.
124
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,500
AND THANK YOU FOR THE UNCANNY
IMPRESSION, BY THE WAY.
125
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,709
DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK
THAT I WOULDN'T FIND OUT?
126
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,166
THIS IS TORTURE.
127
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:06,166
I KNOW YOU'RE SHOPPING A SCRIPT
TO KIM SALLY AT FOX.
128
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,667
WHAT?!
WHO'S...KIM SALLY?
129
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,458
[ As Beverly ]
"WHO'S KIM SALLY?"
OH!
130
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:13,208
[ Normal voice ] HOW WOULD YOU
FEEL IF YOU FOUND OUT...
131
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:16,375
IF YOU FOUND OUT
THAT THE PERSON
132
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:20,750
YOU THOUGHT WAS
YOUR BEST FRIEND -- HA HA! --
133
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:25,542
WAS SECRETLY SHOPPING A SCRIPT
TO ANOTHER NETWORK?
134
00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:30,250
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
135
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:33,041
OH, REALLY?!
REALLY?!
136
00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:34,375
THEN WHY WAS SEAN
137
00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:37,792
HAVING LUNCH WITH KIM SALLY
AND EILEEN JAFFEE?
138
00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:39,583
AND DON'T TELL ME
THEY WEREN'T,
139
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:43,125
'CAUSE I WAS THERE,
AND I SAW THEM.
140
00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:45,208
HMM?
141
00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:48,250
HMM?! HMM?! HMM?!
142
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,083
HMM?!
143
00:06:53,417 --> 00:06:54,375
OKAY, FINE.
YEAH, FINE.
144
00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:56,333
I HAD A BITE OF LUNCH
WITH THEM,
145
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,041
BUT IT WAS NOTHING.
146
00:06:58,041 --> 00:06:59,625
A CLUB SANDWICH.
147
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:01,250
THERE WERE
ALSO APPETIZERS,
148
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,834
AND I'M PRETTY SURE
THEY SPLIT A SUNDAE.
149
00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:06,834
SINCE WHEN DO WE TAKE MEETINGS
WITHOUT EACH OTHER?
150
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,375
NOT A MEETING.
A SANDWICH.
151
00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:09,500
BULLSHIT!
152
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,792
NOBODY "TAKES A SANDWICH"
IN THIS TOWN.
153
00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:14,000
LOOK, YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO.
154
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,667
YOU DIDN'T SAY
I COULDN'T GO.
155
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:17,750
REALLY?
156
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,250
THAT'S YOUR LOOPHOLE?
157
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:20,166
A LOOPHOLE'S A LOOPHOLE.
IT COUNTS.
158
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:21,083
[ PLASTIC BUBBLE POPS ]
159
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:21,875
DON'T.
DON'T.
160
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,667
AND WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN,
EXACTLY?
161
00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,583
WERE YOU GONNA DO
THE WHOLE SHOW BEHIND MY BACK?
162
00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:29,083
"DARLING, YOU KNOW
THAT SCRIPT FROM THE DRAWER?
163
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:31,750
CONGRATULATIONS!
IT'S IN ITS NINTH YEAR."
164
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,083
NO. NO.
165
00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:34,917
I WAS VERY CLEAR.
166
00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:36,375
SHE KNOWS
SHE CAN'T HAVE IT.
167
00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,208
DAMN STRAIGHT
SHE CAN'T HAVE IT.
168
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,041
IF ANYONE'S GETTING IT,
I'M GETTING IT.
169
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,333
YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT.
170
00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,125
I WANT IT.
WHY?
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ IT.
171
00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:44,959
I READ IT!
YOU READ IT.
172
00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:46,250
EILEEN GAVE IT TO ME.
173
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,333
REALLY?
WHAT'D YOU THINK?
174
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:48,750
OH, MY GOD!
175
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:52,083
IF "PUCKS" WAS HALF THIS GOOD,
YOU'D STILL BE ON THE AIR.
176
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:53,291
FLATTERED AND HURT.
177
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:56,250
YOU GUYS, IT'S SO GOOD!
178
00:07:56,250 --> 00:08:00,333
I SWEAR, IF YOU LET US DO IT,
WE WON'T CHANGE A WORD.
179
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,792
REALLY? COULD YOU PUT THAT
IN WRITING?
180
00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:03,792
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NO, NO, NO.
181
00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:06,000
LET ME BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR
WITH YOU,
182
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,125
AND YOU,
MR. CLUB SANDWICH --
183
00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:10,041
THIS SCRIPT ISN'T GOING TO YOU.
184
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,166
IT ISN'T GOING TO FOX.
185
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:15,083
THE ONLY PLACE IT'S GOING
IS IN OUR SUITCASE HOME.
186
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:15,750
OKAY.
187
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:19,250
I TOTALLY HEAR YOU.
[ CHUCKLES ]
188
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:20,625
BUT --
189
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,542
OBVIOUSLY,
YOU DON'T HEAR ME.
I DO!
190
00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:23,583
BUT --
191
00:08:23,583 --> 00:08:25,542
NO.
NO MORE "BUTs."
192
00:08:25,542 --> 00:08:27,500
FINE!
193
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,834
I JUST --
194
00:08:28,834 --> 00:08:30,834
NO "BUTs" AND NO "JUSTs."
195
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:34,834
EITHER YOU LET GO OF THIS,
OR YOU AND I ARE DONE.
196
00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:37,250
THIS IS
YOUR MOMENT OF TRUTH.
197
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,000
ARE YOU MY FRIEND,
198
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,834
OR ARE YOU SOME BLOODSUCKING
NETWORK VAMPIRE?
199
00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:43,834
[ GASPS ]
200
00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:46,792
WHY DO I HAVE TO PICK ONE
OR THE OTHER?
201
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,041
SORRY.
202
00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:49,125
IT'S TIME TO CHOOSE.
203
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,792
[ STAMMERS ]
204
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:52,083
NOW.
205
00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:53,125
FINE!
206
00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:54,458
I'M YOUR FRIEND.
207
00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:57,000
BUT I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!
208
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,333
THANK YOU.
209
00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:01,500
THEN YOU DON'T
MENTION THIS AGAIN.
210
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,542
YOU DON'T PURSUE IT
BEHIND OUR BACKS.
211
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:07,000
IT'S OVER.
212
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,125
CAN I JUST ASK
ONE QUESTION?
213
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:13,208
AND DON'T GET MAD.
214
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:16,542
WHAT IF I'D PICKED
THE OTHER ONE?
215
00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:18,542
ANY WAY
YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO ME?
216
00:09:19,875 --> 00:09:22,041
FINE!
217
00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:23,000
FRIEND.
218
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,041
FRIEND.
219
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,667
FRIEND.
220
00:09:27,291 --> 00:09:28,709
[ PLASTIC BUBBLE POPS ]
221
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,959
OH. I'M TELLING YOU,
YOU GUYS CAN'T GO BACK TO LONDON
222
00:09:38,959 --> 00:09:40,458
UNTIL YOU'VE TRIED
ONE OF THESE.
223
00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:43,166
SEE?
AND I THOUGHT WE COULD.
224
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,417
YOU'LL SEE.
YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME.
225
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,750
WE'RE NOT REALLY
HOT-DOG PEOPLE.
226
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,583
HOW CAN YOU NOT BE
HOT-DOG PEOPLE?
227
00:09:48,583 --> 00:09:51,333
IT'S JUST ALL THE SODIUM
AND NITRATES.
228
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:54,208
PLUS, GOD ONLY KNOWS
WHAT ELSE IS GROUND UP IN THEM.
229
00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:56,750
[ RINGTONE PLAYS ]
FRANKLY, I'M MORE CONCERNED
ABOUT THE CASINGS.
230
00:09:56,750 --> 00:10:00,500
I ASSUME THEY STILL USE
PIG INTESTINES.
231
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,083
I FORGOT HOW FUN IT IS
TO SHARE SHIT WITH YOU.
232
00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:04,250
PUBLICIST.
233
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:06,083
HEY, BETH.
234
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,083
HI, HONEY.
235
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:09,000
I'M GONNA CONFERENCE
JASON IN.
236
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,166
JASON:
You're on with Jason.
237
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,583
HEY, BUD.
238
00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:13,166
HEY, MAN.
WHAT'S UP?
239
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:14,166
Okay.
240
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,417
I JUST GOT OFF WITH TMZ.
241
00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:17,917
THEY'RE ABOUT
TO RUN A STORY.
242
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,375
They've got it on good authority
you're going into rehab
243
00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:22,208
FOR COCAINE
AND DIET PILLS.
244
00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:23,542
ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
245
00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:24,333
SO YOU'RE NOT?
246
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,333
NO.
247
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,500
HONEST?
248
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,542
HOW CAN YOU
EVEN ASK ME THAT?
249
00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,834
UH, YOU WERE
A LITTLE SNIFFY AT LUNCH,
250
00:10:29,834 --> 00:10:31,583
AND YOU DIDN'T TOUCH
THE BREAD.
251
00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:33,041
JESUS.
252
00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:34,375
OH, GOOD, GOOD.
OKAY.
253
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:35,959
I JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE.
254
00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:37,625
SO, ARE YOU SURE NOW?
255
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:40,041
Yeah, yeah.
But you talk about bad timing.
256
00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:42,125
I JUST TOLD NBC
YOU WON'T READ.
257
00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:43,375
AND?
258
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:44,750
Well, they're supposed
to get back to me,
259
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,041
BUT THEY'RE ALREADY NERVOUS
ABOUT WORKING WITH YOU.
260
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:50,041
WHEN THEY HEAR ABOUT THIS,
ON TOP OF YOUR D.U.I.?
261
00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:51,250
OY.
262
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:54,458
WELL, WHY CAN'T WE
JUST TELL TMZ IT'S BULLSHIT?
263
00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:55,750
OH.
THEY'LL NEVER BUY THAT.
264
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,959
YOU'RE BETTER OFF JUST
ADMITTING IT AND MOVING ON.
265
00:10:57,959 --> 00:10:59,333
BUT IT'S NOT TRUE.
266
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:00,417
YOU ASKED.
I'M TELLING YOU.
267
00:11:00,417 --> 00:11:01,458
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
268
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:04,041
WELL, THEN HOW DO
WE MAKE IT GO AWAY?
269
00:11:04,041 --> 00:11:05,917
ANY IDEA
WHERE IT COULD HAVE COME FROM?
270
00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:08,333
NO. I...
271
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,625
OH, FUCK.
272
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,709
I FORGOT TO SEND MY FATHER
HIS CHECK.
273
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,625
YOU REALLY THINK
YOUR FATHER PLANTED THAT STORY?
274
00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:19,959
I KNOW HE DID.
275
00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,959
ANYTIME I FORGET
TO SEND HIS CHECK,
276
00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:24,500
HE CALLS THE TABLOIDS
AND MAKES UP SOME BULLSHIT --
277
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:25,542
HANG ON.
278
00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:26,667
DAD, PICK UP.
279
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:29,333
PICK UP.
280
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:32,625
PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE,
YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT!
281
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,250
I'M ON MY CELL.
CALL ME.
282
00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,667
HE'S NOT GONNA CALL.
283
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:37,792
I GOT TO GO OVER THERE.
284
00:11:37,792 --> 00:11:39,667
YOU MIND IF WE SWING BY?
IT'S RIGHT ON THE WAY.
285
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,834
UH, THIS IS
REALLY A FAMILY THING.
286
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:44,000
YOU DON'T NEED US THERE
FOR THAT.
287
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000
YEAH, I DO.
288
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,291
BECAUSE IF IT'S
JUST ME AND HIM,
289
00:11:46,291 --> 00:11:48,000
I'M GONNA
FUCKING KILL HIM.
290
00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:51,750
WHEN WILL WE LEARN?
291
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,667
ALWAYS -- ALWAYS --
TAKE TWO CARS?
292
00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:01,375
HEY.
IS HE IN?
293
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:04,208
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THE PREP
FOR OUR ELLIOT SALAD LUNCH.
294
00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:07,417
HE'S IN, BUT...
295
00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:08,709
BUT?
296
00:12:08,709 --> 00:12:13,875
HE'S KIND OF NOT HAVING
THE BEST DAY.
297
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:15,166
OH.
298
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,625
'CAUSE WE REALLY SHOULD DO THIS
BEFORE TOMORROW.
299
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,375
UH...
300
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:23,667
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
301
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,333
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO TELL YOU.
302
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:27,750
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
303
00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:36,208
HI.
304
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:47,417
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
305
00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:51,250
BUT WE SAID WE WERE GOING
TO PREP FOR THE ELLIOT LUNCH?
306
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,041
IT'S VERY DARK.
[ CHUCKLES ]
307
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:01,125
WANT ME TO TURN ON
A LIGHT?
308
00:13:03,792 --> 00:13:06,083
OR I CAN LEAVE IT OFF.
309
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:08,041
SHOULD I LEAVE IT OFF?
310
00:13:09,917 --> 00:13:12,208
I'LL LEAVE IT OFF.
311
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,291
YEAH.
312
00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,709
SO, UH...
313
00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:19,709
I JUST THINK
WE SHOULD HAVE SOME IDEA
314
00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:23,500
OF WHAT WE'RE GOING
TO SAY...
315
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,208
LIKE WHICH PROJECTS
WE'RE EXCITED ABOUT.
316
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:27,417
NONE.
NONE.
317
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:29,166
OKAY.
318
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:30,291
GOOD.
319
00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:33,166
SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU FELT THAT WAY.
320
00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:35,291
WE'RE FUCKED.
321
00:13:35,291 --> 00:13:37,166
OKAY.
322
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:39,291
EVERYTHING WE HAVE IS SHIT.
323
00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:42,250
EVERYTHING?
324
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:43,792
REALLY?
325
00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:46,500
THAT SEEMS
A LITTLE BLEAK.
326
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,083
[ CHUCKLES ]
327
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:51,291
I-I THINK
WE HAVE A COUPLE OF STRONG --
328
00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:52,208
WE DON'T.
NO?
329
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,875
NO.
330
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,458
NOTHING'S FRESH.
331
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:57,667
NOTHING'S BOLD.
332
00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:03,917
IT'S ALL THE SAME REHASHED,
PRE-DIGESTED GARBAGE.
333
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:08,542
IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING YOU
GAVE ME ARRIVED PRE-CANCELED!
334
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:10,834
OH!
335
00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:15,041
I'M SO DISAPPOINTED
IN YOU.
336
00:14:16,875 --> 00:14:19,959
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GONNA THRILL ME.
337
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,166
DO I LOOK THRILLED?
338
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,333
WELL...
339
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,250
IT'S KIND OF HARD
TO SEE YOU.
340
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,333
DO I?!
NO.
341
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,834
WHAT?!
NO.
YOU DON'T LOOK THRILLED.
342
00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:32,917
I'M JUST
A LITTLE CONFUSED.
343
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:35,250
LAST WEEK,
IT SEEMED LIKE YOU THOUGHT
344
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,208
SOME OF IT WASN'T SHIT.
345
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,500
I WAS BEING POLITE.
346
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,875
I DON'T LIKE
TO HURT PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.
347
00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:43,542
WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
WHAT? NOTHING!
348
00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:46,667
NOTHING.
349
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,875
AND THAT'S
ALL YOU GIVE ME --
350
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,458
NOTHING!
351
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:53,333
GET OUT!
352
00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:58,125
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
[ GASPS ]
353
00:14:58,125 --> 00:15:00,959
I MAY HAVE ONE MORE SCRIPT
FOR YOU TO READ.
354
00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:02,750
"MAY"?
355
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,542
WHAT THE FUCK
DOES "MAY" MEAN?!
356
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:05,542
DON'T GIVE ME "MAY"!
357
00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:07,709
OKAY. I DO!
I HAVE ONE MORE SCRIPT!
358
00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:09,041
COMEDY OR DRAMA?!
COMEDY!
359
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,041
OH, GOOD.
360
00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:11,583
I COULD USE A LAUGH.
361
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:12,917
[ TYPEWRITER CLICKING ]
362
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:18,041
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
363
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,959
HEY.
364
00:15:20,959 --> 00:15:22,250
LOOK WHO'S HERE.
365
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:23,250
HI, LINDA.
366
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,250
AH.
367
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:25,208
MM.
368
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,959
OOH. SO SKINNY.
369
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,250
YOU LOST WEIGHT.
370
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:29,208
YEAH. I WISH.
371
00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:30,250
WELL, YOU LOOK IT.
372
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,166
COME ON IN.
373
00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:32,625
I'M MAKING FRUIT SALAD.
374
00:15:32,625 --> 00:15:34,125
YOUR FRIENDS WANT FRUIT?
375
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,834
Beverly: NO.
THAT'S VERY KIND.
THANK YOU, NO.
376
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,166
SUIT YOURSELF.
377
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,500
WHERE IS HE?
AH. HE'S OUT.
378
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,792
YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
379
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:41,959
WELL, WHEN HE GETS BACK,
380
00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:43,959
TELL HIM
I'M GONNA PUNCH HIS FACE IN.
381
00:15:43,959 --> 00:15:46,041
YOU WANT TO PUNCH
MY FACE?
382
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,166
LOOK WHAT'S HERE.
383
00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,917
I JUST SAID YOU WERE OUT.
384
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,750
NEXT TIME,
SAY IT LOUDER.
385
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,041
WHAT AM I --
A MIND READER?
386
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,125
SO, WHAT'D I DO THIS TIME?
387
00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:57,500
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.
388
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,667
BULLSHIT.
IF I KNEW WHAT I DID,
389
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,166
I WOULDN'T SAY,
"WHAT DID I DO?"
390
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:02,625
DON'T ASK ME TO SAY STUFF
IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA BACK ME UP.
391
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:03,792
I LOOK LIKE A LIAR.
392
00:16:03,792 --> 00:16:06,250
WE ARE SEAN AND BEVERLY,
BY THE WAY.
HELLO.
393
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,166
YOU SAYING YOU DIDN'T TELL TMZ
I'M GOING INTO REHAB?
394
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,834
OH, YOU'RE FINALLY
GOING INTO REHAB?
395
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,000
NO, I'M NOT GOING
INTO REHAB.
396
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,458
IS THAT
WHY I DIDN'T GET MY CHECK?
397
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:14,375
YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR CHECK
BECAUSE I FUCKING FORGOT.
398
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,125
DO THEY KNOW TO KEEP SENDING
THEM WHILE YOU'RE AWAY?
399
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:18,250
I'M NOT GOING INTO REHAB!
400
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,458
TMZ's USUALLY RIGHT
ABOUT THIS STUFF.
401
00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:21,625
THE ONLY REASON
THEY'RE SAYING IT
402
00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,083
IS 'CAUSE
YOU FUCKING TOLD THEM.
403
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,291
I DIDN'T TELL THEM.
404
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:25,875
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
YOU WERE GOING.
405
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:27,125
LISTEN TO ME,
YOU LUNATIC.
406
00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:28,834
YOU'RE GONNA CALL THEM
AND SAY YOU WERE WRONG.
407
00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,875
WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?
EVERYBODY'S IN REHAB.
408
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:33,500
I-I CAN'T SAY IT AGAIN.
409
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,583
HE'S NOT GOING
INTO REHAB.
410
00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:36,792
AND IF PEOPLE THINK HE IS,
411
00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:38,667
IT COULD SERIOUSLY
DAMAGE HIS CAREER.
412
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:40,625
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
413
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,709
Dick: WHAT CAREER?
414
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,125
HE HASN'T BEEN ON TV
IN 10 YEARS.
415
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:45,792
I'M ON TV NOW!
416
00:16:45,792 --> 00:16:47,959
OH, THAT THING
WITH THE HOCKEY.
417
00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,083
WE WATCHED IT ONCE.
418
00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:50,667
[ LAUGHS ]
NAH.
419
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,333
I'M SO GLAD WE CAME.
MM.
420
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:55,250
YEAH, WELL, THAT NON-CAREER
OF MINE SURE PAYS FOR A LOT.
421
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:57,792
HE'S ALWAYS GOT TO RUB
OUR NOSES IN IT.
422
00:16:57,792 --> 00:16:59,750
YOU'RE SURE?
NO FRUIT?
423
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,000
Dick:
YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
424
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000
YOU DON'T THINK WE KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE WORTH?
425
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,750
WE GOOGLED YOU.
426
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,000
YOU CAN GOOGLE
WHAT I'M WORTH?
427
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,375
YOU CAN GOOGLE ANYTHING.
HOW MUCH DID IT SAY?
428
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,458
REALLY?
IN FRONT OF STRANGERS?
429
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:11,667
HOW MUCH?
430
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:12,959
60.
431
00:17:12,959 --> 00:17:14,000
"60"?
432
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,834
TOO HIGH OR TOO LOW?
433
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,625
I'M NOT FUCKING TELLING YOU.
434
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:19,375
SO, WHAT? SO YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH TO GOUGE ME?
435
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,500
YOU HEAR THAT?
436
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,458
GOUGE HIM.
437
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,458
HE IS YOUR FATHER.
438
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,041
YOU SHOW HIM SOME RESPECT.
439
00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:27,041
USE A SPOON!
WHAT ARE YOU -- AN ANIMAL?
440
00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:29,208
RELAX. IT'S FRUIT.
441
00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:33,542
YOU KNOW, YOU JUST WALTZ IN HERE
WITH YOUR $60 MILLION.
442
00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:35,041
IT'S NOT 60.
443
00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:37,208
YOU THINK I LIKE
TAKING MONEY FROM YOU?
444
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,250
YOU DON'T THINK
IT'S EMBARRASSING FOR ME?
445
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:40,917
WELL, NOT TOO EMBARRASSING
TO TAKE IT.
446
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:43,834
WHY? Y-YOU'D RATHER
WE STARVE TO DEATH?
447
00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:46,291
WE'RE NOT EXACTLY
ROLLING IN IT HERE.
448
00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:48,875
YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T HAD
A VACATION IN FOUR YEARS.
449
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:49,834
FROM WHAT?!
450
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:51,875
OH, FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU!
451
00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:53,125
IS THAT PAPAYA?
452
00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:54,208
I HOPE NOT.
453
00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,041
OKAY. LAST CHANCE.
YOU GONNA CALL TMZ OR NOT?
454
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,041
AND TELL THEM WHAT?
455
00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:58,875
I CAN'T UNDO SOMETHING
I DIDN'T DO.
456
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,458
THAT'S IT.
I'M CUTTING YOU OFF.
457
00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:03,792
LISTEN, YOU FAT FUCK -- IF
THE MAN SAYS HE DIDN'T DO IT --
458
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,000
YOU WANT TO CUT ME OFF,
CUT ME.
459
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,542
CONSIDER YOURSELF CUT.
FINE.
460
00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:11,125
I DON'T NEED
YOUR GODDAMN MONEY.
461
00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:13,250
NO? HOW ABOUT ALL THE SHIT
YOU BOUGHT WITH IT.
462
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,792
HUH?
YOU NEED THIS?
463
00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:15,875
WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
464
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,041
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
465
00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:18,041
OH, HE SAYS
HE DOESN'T NEED IT.
466
00:18:18,041 --> 00:18:19,875
EH, TAKE IT.
I HATE THAT LAMP.
467
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:22,750
IT'S LIKE READING
ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN.
468
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,125
SINCE WHEN DO YOU READ?
469
00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:25,458
OH, FUCK YOU.
470
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:27,083
OH!
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
471
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:29,834
THIS MAKES ME
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
472
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,709
I'M GUESSING YOU DON'T NEED
THESE PILLOWS, EITHER.
TAKE THEM.
473
00:18:31,709 --> 00:18:33,083
THEY ONLY GET IN THE WAY.
474
00:18:33,083 --> 00:18:34,250
THEY ADD COLOR.
475
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:34,792
HERE.
476
00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:36,750
I AM SO SORRY.
477
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:39,959
I HAD NO INKLING
WHEN HE BROUGHT US HERE --
SHUT UP!
478
00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:41,125
Matt:
YOU NEED THE MICROWAVE?
479
00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:42,417
I KNOW I PAID FOR THIS.
480
00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,583
IT WAS
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
481
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:44,792
IT SHOULDN'T COUNT.
482
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:47,125
WHO GIVES A SHIT?!
LET HIM TAKE IT!
483
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:49,542
WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA WAIT
FOR THE WATER TO BOIL?
484
00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:50,208
HERE.
485
00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:51,041
NO, GIVE ME THAT.
486
00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:51,792
GIVE ME THAT.
487
00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:52,625
DON'T LET HER
TAKE IT.
488
00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:54,542
SHE'S VERY STRONG.
489
00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:55,875
SHE'S
AN 80-YEAR-OLD WOMAN!
490
00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:57,625
FUCK YOU, 80!
491
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:04,208
I'M CALLING THE POLICE!
YEAH?
492
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:06,291
BETTER DO IT
BEFORE I TAKE BACK THE PHONES.
493
00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:08,166
DO SOMETHING.
YOU DO SOMETHING.
494
00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:09,125
GOD DAMN IT!
495
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:11,458
I WISH
DAVID SCHWIMMER WAS MY SON.
496
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:12,625
SO DO I!
497
00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:14,000
FUCK YOU.
498
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,375
FUCK YOU!
499
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:17,792
THIS IS NICE.
500
00:19:17,792 --> 00:19:18,750
IS IT NEW?
501
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:19,959
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
502
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,166
AND IT'S ROOMY.
503
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:22,625
YOU CAN PUT A LOT OF CRAP
IN THERE.
504
00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:23,792
YOU WANT ME
TO GO UP AND GET SOME MORE?
505
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:24,834
FUCK YOU.
506
00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:26,333
FUCK YOU!
GET IN THE CAR.
507
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,333
DROP DEAD,
YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
508
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,500
SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
509
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,625
YOU TOO.
510
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:33,834
Matt: GET IN!
511
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,333
I HAVE TO SAY, THIS FEELS LIKE
RATHER HARSH JUSTICE.
512
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:48,417
IT'S NOT.
513
00:19:48,417 --> 00:19:51,458
HE'S A LYING SCUMBAG,
AND HE WENT TOO FAR THIS TIME.
514
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:55,000
STILL, SHOULDN'T YOU
AT LEAST GIVE IT TO A CHARITY
515
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,166
OR THE HOMELESS?
YEAH.
516
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,959
THAT'S WHAT THE HOMELESS NEED --
THROW PILLOWS.
517
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:02,208
[ RINGTONE PLAYS ]
518
00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:06,166
YO.
519
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,125
BETH: Hi, honey.
It's Beth.
520
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,709
SO, I JUST GOT OFF
WITH TMZ.
521
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:14,542
DO YOU KNOW A WOMAN
NAMED DAWN RANDOLPH?
522
00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:15,750
NO.
523
00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:17,000
MORNING'S DAUGHTER?
524
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,750
OH. YEAH.
525
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,959
UNDERSTANDABLE.
526
00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:20,500
YOU ONLY FUCKED HER ONCE.
527
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,083
WHAT ABOUT HER?
528
00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:25,542
Evidently, she's the one
who gave TMZ the rehab story.
529
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:27,625
GUESS I SHOULD HAVE
CALLED HER BACK.
530
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:30,083
MAYBE.
531
00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,917
Can I tell them
she's just an angry ex?
532
00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:33,208
YEAH, YEAH.
SURE.
533
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,667
SO, IT DEFINITELY
WASN'T MY FATHER?
534
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,625
Definitely.
They know him over there.
535
00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:37,959
WASN'T HIM THIS TIME.
536
00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:39,875
GOTCHA. THANKS.
537
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:46,208
AH, WELL.
538
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,458
SHOULDN'T YOU
GIVE IT ALL BACK?
539
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:50,709
NAH.
540
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,458
IT'LL KEEP HIM
ON HIS TOES.
541
00:20:58,083 --> 00:21:00,417
YEAH. COUNTING EQUITIES,
COUNTING REAL ESTATE,
542
00:21:00,417 --> 00:21:02,667
THE OFFICE-BUILDING THING --
ALL OF IT --
543
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:06,208
JUST ROUGHLY
A BALLPARK FIGURE.
544
00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:07,417
REALLY?
545
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:08,917
HOW THE HELL
WOULD GOOGLE KNOW THAT?
546
00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:10,750
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
547
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:11,917
HANG ON.
I GOT ANOTHER CALL.
548
00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:13,959
LET ME CALL YOU BACK.
OKAY.
549
00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:14,834
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
550
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:16,000
HELLO?
551
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,083
JUST GOT OFF WITH NBC.
552
00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,083
GUESS WHAT.
553
00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:19,792
THEY BLINKED.
554
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:20,750
SERIOUSLY?
555
00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:21,750
You don't have
to audition.
556
00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:22,834
NO SHIT?
557
00:21:22,834 --> 00:21:23,959
No shit.
558
00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:25,375
YOU JUST HAVE
TO GO IN AND MEET.
559
00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:26,583
WHY?
Why?
560
00:21:26,583 --> 00:21:27,709
SO THEY CAN SAVE FACE.
561
00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:29,375
LOOK, YOU'LL MAKE NICE.
THEY'LL MAKE NICE.
562
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:30,792
YOU'LL BLOW
THEIR SKIRTS UP.
563
00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:31,792
I CAN DO THAT.
564
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:33,083
I know you can.
565
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,542
AND I DON'T HAVE TO READ?
566
00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:35,959
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ.
567
00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:37,125
ALL RIGHT.
568
00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:38,375
GREAT.
569
00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:39,667
DON'T SAY I NEVER DID
ANYTHING FOR YOU.
570
00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:42,041
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME
YOU THOUGHT I SHOULD READ.
571
00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:43,625
HEY, IF I WERE RIGHT
ABOUT EVERYTHING,
572
00:21:43,625 --> 00:21:45,250
YOU'D STILL HAVE
A MOVIE CAREER.
573
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:46,542
[ SIGHS ]
574
00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:48,333
[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
575
00:21:50,834 --> 00:21:52,917
THIS IS VERY UNUSUAL.
576
00:21:52,917 --> 00:21:53,959
HE'S NEVER LATE.
577
00:21:53,959 --> 00:21:55,083
IT'S FINE.
578
00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:56,792
GIVES US A CHANCE
TO CATCH UP.
579
00:21:56,792 --> 00:21:58,166
TOTALLY.
580
00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:03,792
SO, WHAT'S NEW?
581
00:22:03,792 --> 00:22:08,625
WELL, UH, MY WIFE
HAS HODGKIN'S DISEASE.
582
00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:09,875
AND I BOUGHT A TESLA.
583
00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:11,750
OH, MY GOD.
I KNOW.
584
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:15,583
IT'S SO STRANGE, KNOWING I'LL
NEVER HAVE TO BUY GAS AGAIN.
585
00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:17,583
SURE.
586
00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,000
FEELS GOOD.
587
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,125
SO, TALK TO ME...
588
00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:22,000
BEFORE HE GETS HERE.
589
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:22,750
HOW'S HE DOING?
590
00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:23,875
CASTOR?
591
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:24,834
UH...
592
00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:26,166
OH, SHIT.
593
00:22:26,166 --> 00:22:28,000
NO. NO, NO, NO.
ALL GOOD.
594
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:28,834
ARE WE IN TROUBLE HERE?
595
00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:31,709
I DON'T THINK SO.
596
00:22:31,709 --> 00:22:33,792
JESUS, FUCK!
597
00:22:33,792 --> 00:22:34,959
NO, WE'RE FINE.
598
00:22:36,542 --> 00:22:41,125
IT'S JUST I SHOULD PROBABLY
GIVE YOU A LITTLE HEADS-UP.
599
00:22:41,125 --> 00:22:42,458
WHAT?
600
00:22:42,458 --> 00:22:46,583
SOMETIMES
HE CAN SEEM A BIT...
601
00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:47,291
GAY?
602
00:22:47,291 --> 00:22:48,333
NO.
603
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:49,834
ANTI-SEMITIC?
NO.
604
00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:51,166
WHAT, THEN?
Castor: AHA!
605
00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:53,500
APOLOGIES, APOLOGIES!
OH!
606
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:54,125
AH.
607
00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:55,375
SORRY I'M LATE.
608
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:56,667
NO.
SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT.
609
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:57,709
SO SORRY I'M LATE.
610
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:00,208
I WAS ACTUALLY HERE
20 MINUTES EARLY,
611
00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:01,834
BUT I REFUSE TO VALET PARK.
612
00:23:01,834 --> 00:23:03,500
I KNOW. CRAZY!
613
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,166
BUT THEY SIT IN YOUR SEAT.
THEY TOUCH YOUR WHEEL.
614
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:06,041
UGH!
615
00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:07,291
ANYWAY...
616
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,792
I ENDED UP PARKING
HALFWAY TO BURBANK,
617
00:23:08,792 --> 00:23:10,542
BUT I'M HERE NOW.
618
00:23:10,542 --> 00:23:12,083
JUST GIVE ME A SEC TO
LOOK AT THE MENU, SEE IF
THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN EAT.
619
00:23:12,083 --> 00:23:14,041
THEN I'M ALL YOURS.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
ANYTHING YOU CAN EAT?
620
00:23:14,041 --> 00:23:14,917
I'M VEGAN.
621
00:23:14,917 --> 00:23:15,875
THAT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS.
622
00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:17,208
MY DAUGHTER'S VEGAN.
623
00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:18,959
IT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE VERY HEALTHY.
624
00:23:18,959 --> 00:23:20,250
TELL THAT TO HER SCALE.
625
00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:23,041
SHE WEIGHS 230 POUNDS,
AND SHE'S 5'1".
626
00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:24,834
THAT'S A LOT OF VEGAN.
627
00:23:26,208 --> 00:23:28,542
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
628
00:23:28,542 --> 00:23:31,291
PLACE AIN'T GONNA SMELL
THE SAME WITHOUT YOU.
629
00:23:31,291 --> 00:23:32,542
NOW GET OUT OF HERE,
LADIES.
630
00:23:32,542 --> 00:23:34,041
Man: ALL RIGHT.
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
631
00:23:34,041 --> 00:23:34,917
Man 2: BYE, COACH.
632
00:23:48,917 --> 00:23:50,583
Director: AND...CUT!
633
00:23:50,583 --> 00:23:53,125
Man: CHECK THE GATE.
634
00:23:53,125 --> 00:23:56,750
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS,
IS A FINAL WRAP ON "PUCKS"!
635
00:23:56,750 --> 00:23:58,458
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
636
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,083
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S OVER.
637
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,083
IT'S ACTUALLY OVER.
638
00:24:04,083 --> 00:24:06,125
I KNOW.
UNBELIEVABLE.
639
00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:07,417
[ SIGHS ]
640
00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:09,041
SHOULD WE SAY
A LITTLE SOMETHING?
641
00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:11,834
WE PROBABLY SHOULD.
EVERYONE, CAN I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?
642
00:24:11,834 --> 00:24:13,291
OR CHRIS WILL.
643
00:24:13,291 --> 00:24:14,542
BEFORE EVERYONE SCATTERS,
644
00:24:14,542 --> 00:24:15,709
THERE'S SOMETHING
I REALLY HAVE TO SAY,
645
00:24:15,709 --> 00:24:18,125
AND I CANNOT
STRESS IT ENOUGH.
646
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,458
YOU MUST BE SURE TO SEE AMY AND
RETURN YOUR DRESSING-ROOM KEYS.
647
00:24:22,458 --> 00:24:24,917
OTHERWISE, THERE WILL BE
A $50 KEY CHARGE.
648
00:24:24,917 --> 00:24:26,625
THANK YOU.
649
00:24:26,625 --> 00:24:28,125
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
650
00:24:28,125 --> 00:24:31,208
NOT QUITE THE SPEECH
I WOULD HAVE GIVEN.
651
00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:33,125
BUT IT CAME
FROM THE HEART.
652
00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:34,500
[ CHUCKLES ]
653
00:24:54,166 --> 00:24:56,542
I'VE GOT TO SAY,
I'M A LITTLE SAD.
654
00:24:56,542 --> 00:24:57,709
I KNOW.
655
00:24:57,709 --> 00:24:59,750
ME TOO,
WHICH IS SURPRISING,
656
00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:01,917
CONSIDERING I HATED
EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT.
657
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,834
HM.
658
00:25:03,834 --> 00:25:04,917
HELLO.
659
00:25:04,917 --> 00:25:07,583
OH. HEY.
660
00:25:07,583 --> 00:25:10,792
WE WERE JUST SAYING
THIS ALL FEELS VERY STRANGE.
661
00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:11,709
WHAT?
662
00:25:12,667 --> 00:25:15,500
OH. YEAH.
663
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:19,250
OH, I'M GONNA MISS
YOU GUYS!
664
00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:20,583
WELL, UH...
665
00:25:20,583 --> 00:25:22,083
MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL GO OUT
FOR A DRINK OR SOMETHING.
666
00:25:22,083 --> 00:25:23,291
ABSOLUTELY.
667
00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:25,709
THAT SOUNDS GREAT,
EXCEPT I CAN'T.
668
00:25:26,875 --> 00:25:28,041
OH.
669
00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:29,041
I'VE GOT A WIG FITTING.
670
00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:30,458
MY PILOT STARTS TOMORROW.
671
00:25:31,959 --> 00:25:33,959
SHE'S STEALING
THE WARDROBE.
672
00:25:33,959 --> 00:25:35,709
YES, SHE IS.
673
00:25:35,709 --> 00:25:38,333
UH, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU HAD A PILOT.
MM-HMM.
674
00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:39,375
WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
675
00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:41,166
OH, IT'S
THIS STUPID SCI-FI THING
676
00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:44,333
ABOUT EIGHT PEOPLE WHO,
UH, SURVIVE A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST,
677
00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:46,458
AND THEY WANT
MY HAIR SHORT.
678
00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,458
WELL, SURE.
NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.
679
00:25:48,458 --> 00:25:49,750
DEFINITELY CALLS
FOR A PIXIE CUT.
680
00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:52,500
YEAH. WELL, THIS HAIR'S
NOT GOING ANYWHERE FOR A PILOT.
681
00:25:54,083 --> 00:25:55,250
[ SIGHS ]
682
00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:56,542
ALL RIGHTY.
683
00:25:56,542 --> 00:25:57,834
I GUESS THIS IS IT.
684
00:25:57,834 --> 00:25:59,625
SAD FACE.
685
00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:03,041
YES.
SAD FACES ALL AROUND.
686
00:26:03,041 --> 00:26:05,000
TAKE CARE, YOU GUYS.
687
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:05,875
BYE-BYE.
BYE-BYE.
688
00:26:05,875 --> 00:26:06,709
BYE.
689
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,875
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO.
690
00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:19,709
SAD FACE?
691
00:26:19,709 --> 00:26:21,750
I DON'T THINK SO.
692
00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:23,500
[ CHUCKLES ]
WE'RE GOING HOME.
693
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,250
I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN WE'RE
EATING NUTS ON THE PLANE.
694
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,250
WE ARE GOING HOME.
695
00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:29,375
OH, WE ARE GOING HOME!
696
00:26:29,375 --> 00:26:31,291
[ LAUGHS ]
697
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:34,542
MMM!
698
00:26:35,834 --> 00:26:36,792
MMM!
699
00:26:36,792 --> 00:26:38,208
YOU GOT TO TASTE
THIS CARROT.
700
00:26:38,208 --> 00:26:40,625
I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THAT'S
THE BEST CARROT I EVER TASTED.
701
00:26:40,625 --> 00:26:41,959
IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
702
00:26:41,959 --> 00:26:43,041
MMM.
703
00:26:43,041 --> 00:26:45,000
SO...TALK TO ME.
704
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,083
WHERE ARE WE?
TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD.
705
00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:50,250
OKAY. WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
THIS ONE'S A GENIUS.
706
00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:51,417
WHAT?
[ COUGHS ]
707
00:26:51,417 --> 00:26:53,709
UH...WOW.
THANK YOU.
708
00:26:53,709 --> 00:26:55,875
YESTERDAY
I WAS KIND OF DOWN.
709
00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:57,542
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU COULD TELL.
A LITTLE BIT, YEAH.
710
00:26:57,542 --> 00:26:58,542
A LITTLE.
711
00:26:58,542 --> 00:27:00,458
I WAS ALL,
"OH, WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.
712
00:27:00,458 --> 00:27:01,917
WHAT ARE
WE GONNA TELL ELLIOT?!"
713
00:27:01,917 --> 00:27:04,458
THEN THIS LADY
HANDS ME A SCRIPT.
714
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:06,417
JUST PULLS IT
OUT OF HER ASS.
715
00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,208
WELL...
I READ IT LAST NIGHT.
716
00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:10,000
OH, MY GOD.
717
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,583
IT'S GONNA TURN
THIS NETWORK AROUND.
718
00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,291
OKAY.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
719
00:27:13,291 --> 00:27:15,583
YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT "THE OPPOSITE OF US"?
720
00:27:15,583 --> 00:27:16,542
UH, YEAH.
721
00:27:16,542 --> 00:27:18,542
AH.
IT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD!
722
00:27:18,542 --> 00:27:20,166
THE WRITING -- RAZOR-SHARP.
723
00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:21,333
THE COMEDY.
[ PANTING ]
724
00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:22,125
FUCK!
725
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:23,583
I WAS LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
726
00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:25,166
I NEVER LAUGH OUT LOUD.
727
00:27:25,166 --> 00:27:26,208
HE DOESN'T.
728
00:27:26,208 --> 00:27:27,583
IT'S GOT HEART.
729
00:27:27,583 --> 00:27:29,125
IT'S A SHOW
YOU WANT TO WATCH.
730
00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:30,500
I WANT TO WATCH IT
RIGHT NOW.
731
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,291
I'M EXCITED.
YOU'RE TALKING, AND I'M EXCITED.
732
00:27:32,291 --> 00:27:33,959
WHO WROTE IT?
733
00:27:33,959 --> 00:27:35,166
UH...
734
00:27:35,166 --> 00:27:36,458
SEAN AND BEVERLY LINCOLN.
735
00:27:36,458 --> 00:27:38,041
YOU KNOW,
THE TEAM WHO DID "PUCKS."
736
00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:39,041
AND IT'S GOOD?
737
00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:40,500
I'M TELLING YOU --
IT'S NOT JUST GOOD.
738
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:41,959
IT'S A HOME RUN.
739
00:27:41,959 --> 00:27:43,375
THIS ONE FOUND A WINNER.
740
00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:45,959
[ LAUGHS ] OH!
741
00:27:45,959 --> 00:27:47,458
THAT'S VERY GENEROUS.
742
00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:49,500
BUT BEFORE WE COMMIT
TO THIS,
743
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,083
THERE ARE A LOT
OF OTHER REALLY GREAT SCRIPTS
744
00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:54,750
THAT I COULD, YOU KNOW,
PULL OUT OF MY ASS.
745
00:27:54,750 --> 00:27:56,667
WHAT? NO!
THIS IS IT.
746
00:27:56,667 --> 00:27:58,291
I DON'T WANT
TO EVEN SHOOT A PILOT.
747
00:27:58,291 --> 00:28:00,333
I WANT TO GO
STRAIGHT TO SERIES.
748
00:28:00,333 --> 00:28:01,667
HOW SOON CAN THEY START?
749
00:28:03,667 --> 00:28:05,667
[ TYPEWRITER CLICKING ]
49281
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