All language subtitles for Episodes.S03E08.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,667 I AM AFRAID IT'S A NO ON LUNCH. 2 00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:15,959 BEV JUST ISN'T UP FOR IT. 3 00:00:15,959 --> 00:00:17,917 UNLESS YOU WANT TO DO IT WITHOUT HER. 4 00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:19,250 IT FEELS A LITTLE WEIRD. 5 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,667 Sweetie, it's a sandwich, not a blow job. 6 00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:26,792 KIM SALLY, AS PROMISED, THIS IS SEAN LINCOLN. 7 00:00:29,709 --> 00:00:32,250 THIS IS AWESOME! GOOD NEWS? 8 00:00:32,250 --> 00:00:34,667 YOU KNOW THAT GUY WHO GOT MY PART IN THE NBC PILOT? 9 00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,834 [ Singsongy voice ] PARALYZED! 10 00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:38,166 OH, MY GOD. 11 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:43,667 THE MAN IS PARALYZED. 12 00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:45,417 [ Normal voice ] JESUS! 13 00:00:45,417 --> 00:00:49,291 BE HAPPY FOR ME FOR ONCE! 14 00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:52,041 [ TYPEWRITER CLICKING, BELL CHIMES ] 15 00:00:55,166 --> 00:00:57,250 [ WIND WHISTLING ] 16 00:01:02,709 --> 00:01:05,208 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 17 00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:32,041 [ GUNSHOT ] 18 00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:48,500 THERE HE IS! 19 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,583 HEY. 20 00:01:50,583 --> 00:01:51,375 [ LAUGHS ] 21 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:56,333 SO, WHAT'S UP? 22 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,250 SHOULD I BE WORRIED? 23 00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:00,333 WHAT? I CAN'T TAKE MY FAVORITE CLIENT TO LUNCH? 24 00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:01,625 WE GOT A LOT TO CELEBRATE. 25 00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:02,917 LAST WEEK OF "PUCKS." 26 00:02:02,917 --> 00:02:05,000 IT'S WORTH A STEAK SALAD. 27 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,125 OKAY. GOOD. 28 00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:07,125 I GOT NERVOUS. 29 00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:08,208 THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA TELL ME, 30 00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:10,083 LIKE, THAT GUY'S NOT PARALYZED ANYMORE. 31 00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:13,625 RELAX. IT'S APPARENTLY A LOT WORSE THAN THEY THOUGHT. 32 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,166 OKAY. PHEW! 33 00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:17,709 SO, WHERE ARE WE WITH THE NBC THING? 34 00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:18,500 DO WE HAVE A DEAL? 35 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,917 EH... 36 00:02:19,917 --> 00:02:20,959 SO I SHOULD BE WORRIED. 37 00:02:20,959 --> 00:02:23,041 NO, NOT "WORRIED" WORRIED. 38 00:02:23,041 --> 00:02:25,709 NOW, LOOK -- THE WRITER, THE BRITISH GUY, 39 00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:27,375 TOTALLY WANTS YOU. 40 00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:29,959 YOU'RE HIS FIRST CHOICE, ONLY ONE ON HIS LIST. 41 00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:31,875 BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. SO? 42 00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:36,792 SO THE NETWORK IS SAYING THAT THEY NEED TO HEAR YOU READ. 43 00:02:36,792 --> 00:02:37,792 GET THE FUCK OUT. 44 00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:39,125 WHAT CAN I TELL YOU? 45 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,125 YOU'VE NEVER DONE DRAMA. 46 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:41,917 HAVE THEY SEEN "PUCKS"? YEAH. 47 00:02:41,917 --> 00:02:44,458 THAT'S PROBABLY ANOTHER REASON THEY WANT YOU TO READ. 48 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:45,792 WELL, SCREW THEM. 49 00:02:45,792 --> 00:02:47,250 I'M NOT READING FOR NBC. 50 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,834 I WORKED THERE FOR 12 YEARS. 51 00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,166 THAT WAS A LIFETIME AGO. 52 00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:51,750 EVERYONE WHO WAS THERE WHEN YOU WERE THERE, 53 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:54,417 THEY'RE THAT PILE OF BONES IN THE CORNER. 54 00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:56,000 JESUS. 55 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,583 AUDITION? 56 00:02:57,583 --> 00:02:59,375 I KNOW, BUT THAT'S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN. 57 00:02:59,375 --> 00:03:01,709 IF LUCILLE BALL CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD, 58 00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:03,542 THEY'D MAKE HER READ TO SEE IF SHE'S STILL FUNNY. 59 00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:07,959 ALTHOUGH I GOT TO SAY, SHE WASN'T...THAT FUNNY AT THE END. 60 00:03:07,959 --> 00:03:09,291 NOBODY'S FUNNY AT THE END. 61 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:11,417 MM. 62 00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:12,417 WHAT IF WE SAY NO? 63 00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:14,000 WELL, THEN THEY SAY NO. UGH. 64 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,208 LISTEN, I'VE BEEN AROUND AND AROUND 65 00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:16,333 WITH THESE IDIOTS ON THIS. 66 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,709 IT'S A NONSTARTER. 67 00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:19,500 IF YOU REALLY WANT IT -- 68 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,000 YOU KNOW I WANT IT. 69 00:03:22,792 --> 00:03:25,041 BUT I'M NOT READING. 70 00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:26,458 YOU SURE? 71 00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:27,750 YEAH. 72 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,125 IT'S INSULTING. 73 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,083 THEY KNOW WHAT I CAN DO. 74 00:03:30,083 --> 00:03:32,000 I'M NOT GONNA JUMP THROUGH THEIR HOOPS. 75 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,542 OKAY. THAT'S WHAT I'LL TELL THEM. 76 00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:34,750 CHRIST. I KNOW! 77 00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:35,959 WHAT CAN I SAY? 78 00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:37,875 IT'S A GIANT HAIRY ASS FUCK. 79 00:03:37,875 --> 00:03:38,834 WE'RE READY TO ORDER. 80 00:03:42,875 --> 00:03:45,500 I'M THINKING IT'S TIME TO STOP TAKING THE MEDS. 81 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,959 I FIRMLY DISAGREE. 82 00:03:47,959 --> 00:03:51,208 I'M TELLING YOU, I REALLY FEEL OKAY. 83 00:03:51,208 --> 00:03:54,250 I'M CALM. I'M CENTERED. 84 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:57,166 NOTHING'S TALKING THAT SHOULDN'T BE TALKING. 85 00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:59,208 I'M REALLY GOOD. 86 00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:02,208 THE REASON YOU'RE GOOD IS BECAUSE OF THE MEDS. 87 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:06,041 IT WOULD BE A HUGE MISTAKE TO STOP NOW. 88 00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:07,709 I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. 89 00:04:07,709 --> 00:04:09,250 OKAY. OKAY. 90 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,709 I HEAR YOU. 91 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:11,750 THAT'S FINE. 92 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:15,208 [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] 93 00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:28,458 [ SIGHS ] 94 00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:30,792 AAH! 95 00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:53,834 [ SIGHS ] 96 00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:55,542 YOU'RE AWFULLY QUIET. 97 00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:57,458 AM I? 98 00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,917 WELL, CONSIDERING "AM I?" 99 00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:03,250 IS THE FIRST THING YOU'VE SAID SINCE WE STARTED, YES. 100 00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:09,333 SO, IS "AM I?" ALSO THE LAST THING YOU'RE GOING TO SAY? 101 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:10,667 MAYBE. 102 00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:11,792 WHAT'S GOING ON? 103 00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:13,792 NOTHING. 104 00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:15,000 WHAT? 105 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,417 [ Mockingly ] "WHAT?" 106 00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:19,417 YOU ARE ACTING VERY WEIRD. 107 00:05:19,417 --> 00:05:20,959 [ Normal voice ] AM I? AREN'T YOU? 108 00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:22,291 I'LL JUST SAY THIS -- 109 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,041 THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN THIS TOWN. 110 00:05:24,041 --> 00:05:27,000 AND YET YOU SEEM TO HAVE ONE. 111 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,959 [ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHS ] 112 00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:30,458 ISN'T IT FUNNY? 113 00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:33,291 WITH ALL YOUR JUDGMENTS AND YOUR MORAL HIGH GROUND -- 114 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,917 THERE YOU GO. LET IT OUT. 115 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,834 [ As Beverly ] "EVERYONE'S SO PHONY HERE. 116 00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,000 "YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE. 117 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,709 THEY'LL LIE TO YOUR FACE." 118 00:05:39,709 --> 00:05:41,000 [ Normal voice ] WELL, GUESS WHAT. 119 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,834 YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN WE ARE! 120 00:05:42,834 --> 00:05:48,333 IN FACT, I WOULD NEVER DO TO YOU WHAT YOU DID TO ME! 121 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,291 I HAVE TO SAY 122 00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:54,208 I AM NOW SIMULTANEOUSLY TROUBLED AND EXCITED 123 00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,125 TO FIND OUT WHAT I DID. 124 00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,500 AND THANK YOU FOR THE UNCANNY IMPRESSION, BY THE WAY. 125 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,709 DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT I WOULDN'T FIND OUT? 126 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,166 THIS IS TORTURE. 127 00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:06,166 I KNOW YOU'RE SHOPPING A SCRIPT TO KIM SALLY AT FOX. 128 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,667 WHAT?! WHO'S...KIM SALLY? 129 00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,458 [ As Beverly ] "WHO'S KIM SALLY?" OH! 130 00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:13,208 [ Normal voice ] HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU FOUND OUT... 131 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:16,375 IF YOU FOUND OUT THAT THE PERSON 132 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:20,750 YOU THOUGHT WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND -- HA HA! -- 133 00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:25,542 WAS SECRETLY SHOPPING A SCRIPT TO ANOTHER NETWORK? 134 00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:30,250 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 135 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:33,041 OH, REALLY?! REALLY?! 136 00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:34,375 THEN WHY WAS SEAN 137 00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:37,792 HAVING LUNCH WITH KIM SALLY AND EILEEN JAFFEE? 138 00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:39,583 AND DON'T TELL ME THEY WEREN'T, 139 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:43,125 'CAUSE I WAS THERE, AND I SAW THEM. 140 00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:45,208 HMM? 141 00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:48,250 HMM?! HMM?! HMM?! 142 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,083 HMM?! 143 00:06:53,417 --> 00:06:54,375 OKAY, FINE. YEAH, FINE. 144 00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:56,333 I HAD A BITE OF LUNCH WITH THEM, 145 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,041 BUT IT WAS NOTHING. 146 00:06:58,041 --> 00:06:59,625 A CLUB SANDWICH. 147 00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:01,250 THERE WERE ALSO APPETIZERS, 148 00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,834 AND I'M PRETTY SURE THEY SPLIT A SUNDAE. 149 00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:06,834 SINCE WHEN DO WE TAKE MEETINGS WITHOUT EACH OTHER? 150 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,375 NOT A MEETING. A SANDWICH. 151 00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:09,500 BULLSHIT! 152 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,792 NOBODY "TAKES A SANDWICH" IN THIS TOWN. 153 00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:14,000 LOOK, YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO. 154 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,667 YOU DIDN'T SAY I COULDN'T GO. 155 00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:17,750 REALLY? 156 00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,250 THAT'S YOUR LOOPHOLE? 157 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:20,166 A LOOPHOLE'S A LOOPHOLE. IT COUNTS. 158 00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:21,083 [ PLASTIC BUBBLE POPS ] 159 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:21,875 DON'T. DON'T. 160 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,667 AND WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN, EXACTLY? 161 00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,583 WERE YOU GONNA DO THE WHOLE SHOW BEHIND MY BACK? 162 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:29,083 "DARLING, YOU KNOW THAT SCRIPT FROM THE DRAWER? 163 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:31,750 CONGRATULATIONS! IT'S IN ITS NINTH YEAR." 164 00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,083 NO. NO. 165 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:34,917 I WAS VERY CLEAR. 166 00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:36,375 SHE KNOWS SHE CAN'T HAVE IT. 167 00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,208 DAMN STRAIGHT SHE CAN'T HAVE IT. 168 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,041 IF ANYONE'S GETTING IT, I'M GETTING IT. 169 00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,333 YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT. 170 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,125 I WANT IT. WHY? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ IT. 171 00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:44,959 I READ IT! YOU READ IT. 172 00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:46,250 EILEEN GAVE IT TO ME. 173 00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,333 REALLY? WHAT'D YOU THINK? 174 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:48,750 OH, MY GOD! 175 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:52,083 IF "PUCKS" WAS HALF THIS GOOD, YOU'D STILL BE ON THE AIR. 176 00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:53,291 FLATTERED AND HURT. 177 00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:56,250 YOU GUYS, IT'S SO GOOD! 178 00:07:56,250 --> 00:08:00,333 I SWEAR, IF YOU LET US DO IT, WE WON'T CHANGE A WORD. 179 00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,792 REALLY? COULD YOU PUT THAT IN WRITING? 180 00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:03,792 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NO, NO, NO. 181 00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:06,000 LET ME BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR WITH YOU, 182 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,125 AND YOU, MR. CLUB SANDWICH -- 183 00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:10,041 THIS SCRIPT ISN'T GOING TO YOU. 184 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,166 IT ISN'T GOING TO FOX. 185 00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:15,083 THE ONLY PLACE IT'S GOING IS IN OUR SUITCASE HOME. 186 00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:15,750 OKAY. 187 00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:19,250 I TOTALLY HEAR YOU. [ CHUCKLES ] 188 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:20,625 BUT -- 189 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,542 OBVIOUSLY, YOU DON'T HEAR ME. I DO! 190 00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:23,583 BUT -- 191 00:08:23,583 --> 00:08:25,542 NO. NO MORE "BUTs." 192 00:08:25,542 --> 00:08:27,500 FINE! 193 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,834 I JUST -- 194 00:08:28,834 --> 00:08:30,834 NO "BUTs" AND NO "JUSTs." 195 00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:34,834 EITHER YOU LET GO OF THIS, OR YOU AND I ARE DONE. 196 00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:37,250 THIS IS YOUR MOMENT OF TRUTH. 197 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,000 ARE YOU MY FRIEND, 198 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,834 OR ARE YOU SOME BLOODSUCKING NETWORK VAMPIRE? 199 00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:43,834 [ GASPS ] 200 00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:46,792 WHY DO I HAVE TO PICK ONE OR THE OTHER? 201 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,041 SORRY. 202 00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:49,125 IT'S TIME TO CHOOSE. 203 00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,792 [ STAMMERS ] 204 00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:52,083 NOW. 205 00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:53,125 FINE! 206 00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:54,458 I'M YOUR FRIEND. 207 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:57,000 BUT I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT! 208 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,333 THANK YOU. 209 00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:01,500 THEN YOU DON'T MENTION THIS AGAIN. 210 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,542 YOU DON'T PURSUE IT BEHIND OUR BACKS. 211 00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:07,000 IT'S OVER. 212 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,125 CAN I JUST ASK ONE QUESTION? 213 00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:13,208 AND DON'T GET MAD. 214 00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:16,542 WHAT IF I'D PICKED THE OTHER ONE? 215 00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:18,542 ANY WAY YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO ME? 216 00:09:19,875 --> 00:09:22,041 FINE! 217 00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:23,000 FRIEND. 218 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,041 FRIEND. 219 00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,667 FRIEND. 220 00:09:27,291 --> 00:09:28,709 [ PLASTIC BUBBLE POPS ] 221 00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,959 OH. I'M TELLING YOU, YOU GUYS CAN'T GO BACK TO LONDON 222 00:09:38,959 --> 00:09:40,458 UNTIL YOU'VE TRIED ONE OF THESE. 223 00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:43,166 SEE? AND I THOUGHT WE COULD. 224 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,417 YOU'LL SEE. YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME. 225 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,750 WE'RE NOT REALLY HOT-DOG PEOPLE. 226 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,583 HOW CAN YOU NOT BE HOT-DOG PEOPLE? 227 00:09:48,583 --> 00:09:51,333 IT'S JUST ALL THE SODIUM AND NITRATES. 228 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:54,208 PLUS, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ELSE IS GROUND UP IN THEM. 229 00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:56,750 [ RINGTONE PLAYS ] FRANKLY, I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE CASINGS. 230 00:09:56,750 --> 00:10:00,500 I ASSUME THEY STILL USE PIG INTESTINES. 231 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,083 I FORGOT HOW FUN IT IS TO SHARE SHIT WITH YOU. 232 00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:04,250 PUBLICIST. 233 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:06,083 HEY, BETH. 234 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,083 HI, HONEY. 235 00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:09,000 I'M GONNA CONFERENCE JASON IN. 236 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,166 JASON: You're on with Jason. 237 00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,583 HEY, BUD. 238 00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:13,166 HEY, MAN. WHAT'S UP? 239 00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:14,166 Okay. 240 00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,417 I JUST GOT OFF WITH TMZ. 241 00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:17,917 THEY'RE ABOUT TO RUN A STORY. 242 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,375 They've got it on good authority you're going into rehab 243 00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:22,208 FOR COCAINE AND DIET PILLS. 244 00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:23,542 ARE YOU SHITTING ME? 245 00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:24,333 SO YOU'RE NOT? 246 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,333 NO. 247 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,500 HONEST? 248 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,542 HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT? 249 00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,834 UH, YOU WERE A LITTLE SNIFFY AT LUNCH, 250 00:10:29,834 --> 00:10:31,583 AND YOU DIDN'T TOUCH THE BREAD. 251 00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:33,041 JESUS. 252 00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:34,375 OH, GOOD, GOOD. OKAY. 253 00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:35,959 I JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE. 254 00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:37,625 SO, ARE YOU SURE NOW? 255 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:40,041 Yeah, yeah. But you talk about bad timing. 256 00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:42,125 I JUST TOLD NBC YOU WON'T READ. 257 00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:43,375 AND? 258 00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:44,750 Well, they're supposed to get back to me, 259 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,041 BUT THEY'RE ALREADY NERVOUS ABOUT WORKING WITH YOU. 260 00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:50,041 WHEN THEY HEAR ABOUT THIS, ON TOP OF YOUR D.U.I.? 261 00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:51,250 OY. 262 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:54,458 WELL, WHY CAN'T WE JUST TELL TMZ IT'S BULLSHIT? 263 00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:55,750 OH. THEY'LL NEVER BUY THAT. 264 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,959 YOU'RE BETTER OFF JUST ADMITTING IT AND MOVING ON. 265 00:10:57,959 --> 00:10:59,333 BUT IT'S NOT TRUE. 266 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:00,417 YOU ASKED. I'M TELLING YOU. 267 00:11:00,417 --> 00:11:01,458 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 268 00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:04,041 WELL, THEN HOW DO WE MAKE IT GO AWAY? 269 00:11:04,041 --> 00:11:05,917 ANY IDEA WHERE IT COULD HAVE COME FROM? 270 00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:08,333 NO. I... 271 00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,625 OH, FUCK. 272 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,709 I FORGOT TO SEND MY FATHER HIS CHECK. 273 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,625 YOU REALLY THINK YOUR FATHER PLANTED THAT STORY? 274 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:19,959 I KNOW HE DID. 275 00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,959 ANYTIME I FORGET TO SEND HIS CHECK, 276 00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:24,500 HE CALLS THE TABLOIDS AND MAKES UP SOME BULLSHIT -- 277 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:25,542 HANG ON. 278 00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:26,667 DAD, PICK UP. 279 00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:29,333 PICK UP. 280 00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:32,625 PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE, YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT! 281 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,250 I'M ON MY CELL. CALL ME. 282 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,667 HE'S NOT GONNA CALL. 283 00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:37,792 I GOT TO GO OVER THERE. 284 00:11:37,792 --> 00:11:39,667 YOU MIND IF WE SWING BY? IT'S RIGHT ON THE WAY. 285 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,834 UH, THIS IS REALLY A FAMILY THING. 286 00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:44,000 YOU DON'T NEED US THERE FOR THAT. 287 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000 YEAH, I DO. 288 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,291 BECAUSE IF IT'S JUST ME AND HIM, 289 00:11:46,291 --> 00:11:48,000 I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM. 290 00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:51,750 WHEN WILL WE LEARN? 291 00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,667 ALWAYS -- ALWAYS -- TAKE TWO CARS? 292 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:01,375 HEY. IS HE IN? 293 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:04,208 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THE PREP FOR OUR ELLIOT SALAD LUNCH. 294 00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:07,417 HE'S IN, BUT... 295 00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:08,709 BUT? 296 00:12:08,709 --> 00:12:13,875 HE'S KIND OF NOT HAVING THE BEST DAY. 297 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:15,166 OH. 298 00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,625 'CAUSE WE REALLY SHOULD DO THIS BEFORE TOMORROW. 299 00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:21,375 UH... 300 00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:23,667 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 301 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,333 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. 302 00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:27,750 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 303 00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:36,208 HI. 304 00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:47,417 SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. 305 00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:51,250 BUT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO PREP FOR THE ELLIOT LUNCH? 306 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,041 IT'S VERY DARK. [ CHUCKLES ] 307 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:01,125 WANT ME TO TURN ON A LIGHT? 308 00:13:03,792 --> 00:13:06,083 OR I CAN LEAVE IT OFF. 309 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:08,041 SHOULD I LEAVE IT OFF? 310 00:13:09,917 --> 00:13:12,208 I'LL LEAVE IT OFF. 311 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,291 YEAH. 312 00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,709 SO, UH... 313 00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:19,709 I JUST THINK WE SHOULD HAVE SOME IDEA 314 00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:23,500 OF WHAT WE'RE GOING TO SAY... 315 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,208 LIKE WHICH PROJECTS WE'RE EXCITED ABOUT. 316 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:27,417 NONE. NONE. 317 00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:29,166 OKAY. 318 00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:30,291 GOOD. 319 00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:33,166 SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU FELT THAT WAY. 320 00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:35,291 WE'RE FUCKED. 321 00:13:35,291 --> 00:13:37,166 OKAY. 322 00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:39,291 EVERYTHING WE HAVE IS SHIT. 323 00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:42,250 EVERYTHING? 324 00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:43,792 REALLY? 325 00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:46,500 THAT SEEMS A LITTLE BLEAK. 326 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,083 [ CHUCKLES ] 327 00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:51,291 I-I THINK WE HAVE A COUPLE OF STRONG -- 328 00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:52,208 WE DON'T. NO? 329 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,875 NO. 330 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,458 NOTHING'S FRESH. 331 00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:57,667 NOTHING'S BOLD. 332 00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:03,917 IT'S ALL THE SAME REHASHED, PRE-DIGESTED GARBAGE. 333 00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:08,542 IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING YOU GAVE ME ARRIVED PRE-CANCELED! 334 00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:10,834 OH! 335 00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:15,041 I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. 336 00:14:16,875 --> 00:14:19,959 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA THRILL ME. 337 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,166 DO I LOOK THRILLED? 338 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,333 WELL... 339 00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,250 IT'S KIND OF HARD TO SEE YOU. 340 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,333 DO I?! NO. 341 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,834 WHAT?! NO. YOU DON'T LOOK THRILLED. 342 00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:32,917 I'M JUST A LITTLE CONFUSED. 343 00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:35,250 LAST WEEK, IT SEEMED LIKE YOU THOUGHT 344 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,208 SOME OF IT WASN'T SHIT. 345 00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,500 I WAS BEING POLITE. 346 00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,875 I DON'T LIKE TO HURT PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. 347 00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:43,542 WHAT DID YOU SAY?! WHAT? NOTHING! 348 00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:46,667 NOTHING. 349 00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,875 AND THAT'S ALL YOU GIVE ME -- 350 00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,458 NOTHING! 351 00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:53,333 GET OUT! 352 00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:58,125 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. [ GASPS ] 353 00:14:58,125 --> 00:15:00,959 I MAY HAVE ONE MORE SCRIPT FOR YOU TO READ. 354 00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:02,750 "MAY"? 355 00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,542 WHAT THE FUCK DOES "MAY" MEAN?! 356 00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:05,542 DON'T GIVE ME "MAY"! 357 00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:07,709 OKAY. I DO! I HAVE ONE MORE SCRIPT! 358 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:09,041 COMEDY OR DRAMA?! COMEDY! 359 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,041 OH, GOOD. 360 00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:11,583 I COULD USE A LAUGH. 361 00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:12,917 [ TYPEWRITER CLICKING ] 362 00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:18,041 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 363 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,959 HEY. 364 00:15:20,959 --> 00:15:22,250 LOOK WHO'S HERE. 365 00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:23,250 HI, LINDA. 366 00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,250 AH. 367 00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:25,208 MM. 368 00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,959 OOH. SO SKINNY. 369 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,250 YOU LOST WEIGHT. 370 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:29,208 YEAH. I WISH. 371 00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:30,250 WELL, YOU LOOK IT. 372 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,166 COME ON IN. 373 00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:32,625 I'M MAKING FRUIT SALAD. 374 00:15:32,625 --> 00:15:34,125 YOUR FRIENDS WANT FRUIT? 375 00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,834 Beverly: NO. THAT'S VERY KIND. THANK YOU, NO. 376 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,166 SUIT YOURSELF. 377 00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,500 WHERE IS HE? AH. HE'S OUT. 378 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,792 YOU JUST MISSED HIM. 379 00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:41,959 WELL, WHEN HE GETS BACK, 380 00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:43,959 TELL HIM I'M GONNA PUNCH HIS FACE IN. 381 00:15:43,959 --> 00:15:46,041 YOU WANT TO PUNCH MY FACE? 382 00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,166 LOOK WHAT'S HERE. 383 00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,917 I JUST SAID YOU WERE OUT. 384 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,750 NEXT TIME, SAY IT LOUDER. 385 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,041 WHAT AM I -- A MIND READER? 386 00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,125 SO, WHAT'D I DO THIS TIME? 387 00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:57,500 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID. 388 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,667 BULLSHIT. IF I KNEW WHAT I DID, 389 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,166 I WOULDN'T SAY, "WHAT DID I DO?" 390 00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:02,625 DON'T ASK ME TO SAY STUFF IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA BACK ME UP. 391 00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:03,792 I LOOK LIKE A LIAR. 392 00:16:03,792 --> 00:16:06,250 WE ARE SEAN AND BEVERLY, BY THE WAY. HELLO. 393 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,166 YOU SAYING YOU DIDN'T TELL TMZ I'M GOING INTO REHAB? 394 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,834 OH, YOU'RE FINALLY GOING INTO REHAB? 395 00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,000 NO, I'M NOT GOING INTO REHAB. 396 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,458 IS THAT WHY I DIDN'T GET MY CHECK? 397 00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:14,375 YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR CHECK BECAUSE I FUCKING FORGOT. 398 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,125 DO THEY KNOW TO KEEP SENDING THEM WHILE YOU'RE AWAY? 399 00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:18,250 I'M NOT GOING INTO REHAB! 400 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,458 TMZ's USUALLY RIGHT ABOUT THIS STUFF. 401 00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:21,625 THE ONLY REASON THEY'RE SAYING IT 402 00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,083 IS 'CAUSE YOU FUCKING TOLD THEM. 403 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,291 I DIDN'T TELL THEM. 404 00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:25,875 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE GOING. 405 00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:27,125 LISTEN TO ME, YOU LUNATIC. 406 00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:28,834 YOU'RE GONNA CALL THEM AND SAY YOU WERE WRONG. 407 00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,875 WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? EVERYBODY'S IN REHAB. 408 00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:33,500 I-I CAN'T SAY IT AGAIN. 409 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,583 HE'S NOT GOING INTO REHAB. 410 00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:36,792 AND IF PEOPLE THINK HE IS, 411 00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:38,667 IT COULD SERIOUSLY DAMAGE HIS CAREER. 412 00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:40,625 WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 413 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,709 Dick: WHAT CAREER? 414 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,125 HE HASN'T BEEN ON TV IN 10 YEARS. 415 00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:45,792 I'M ON TV NOW! 416 00:16:45,792 --> 00:16:47,959 OH, THAT THING WITH THE HOCKEY. 417 00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,083 WE WATCHED IT ONCE. 418 00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:50,667 [ LAUGHS ] NAH. 419 00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,333 I'M SO GLAD WE CAME. MM. 420 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:55,250 YEAH, WELL, THAT NON-CAREER OF MINE SURE PAYS FOR A LOT. 421 00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:57,792 HE'S ALWAYS GOT TO RUB OUR NOSES IN IT. 422 00:16:57,792 --> 00:16:59,750 YOU'RE SURE? NO FRUIT? 423 00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,000 Dick: YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT. 424 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 YOU DON'T THINK WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WORTH? 425 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,750 WE GOOGLED YOU. 426 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,000 YOU CAN GOOGLE WHAT I'M WORTH? 427 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,375 YOU CAN GOOGLE ANYTHING. HOW MUCH DID IT SAY? 428 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,458 REALLY? IN FRONT OF STRANGERS? 429 00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:11,667 HOW MUCH? 430 00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:12,959 60. 431 00:17:12,959 --> 00:17:14,000 "60"? 432 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,834 TOO HIGH OR TOO LOW? 433 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,625 I'M NOT FUCKING TELLING YOU. 434 00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:19,375 SO, WHAT? SO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TO GOUGE ME? 435 00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,500 YOU HEAR THAT? 436 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,458 GOUGE HIM. 437 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,458 HE IS YOUR FATHER. 438 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,041 YOU SHOW HIM SOME RESPECT. 439 00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:27,041 USE A SPOON! WHAT ARE YOU -- AN ANIMAL? 440 00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:29,208 RELAX. IT'S FRUIT. 441 00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:33,542 YOU KNOW, YOU JUST WALTZ IN HERE WITH YOUR $60 MILLION. 442 00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:35,041 IT'S NOT 60. 443 00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:37,208 YOU THINK I LIKE TAKING MONEY FROM YOU? 444 00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,250 YOU DON'T THINK IT'S EMBARRASSING FOR ME? 445 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:40,917 WELL, NOT TOO EMBARRASSING TO TAKE IT. 446 00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:43,834 WHY? Y-YOU'D RATHER WE STARVE TO DEATH? 447 00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:46,291 WE'RE NOT EXACTLY ROLLING IN IT HERE. 448 00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:48,875 YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T HAD A VACATION IN FOUR YEARS. 449 00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:49,834 FROM WHAT?! 450 00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:51,875 OH, FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! 451 00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:53,125 IS THAT PAPAYA? 452 00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:54,208 I HOPE NOT. 453 00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,041 OKAY. LAST CHANCE. YOU GONNA CALL TMZ OR NOT? 454 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,041 AND TELL THEM WHAT? 455 00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:58,875 I CAN'T UNDO SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO. 456 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,458 THAT'S IT. I'M CUTTING YOU OFF. 457 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:03,792 LISTEN, YOU FAT FUCK -- IF THE MAN SAYS HE DIDN'T DO IT -- 458 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,000 YOU WANT TO CUT ME OFF, CUT ME. 459 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,542 CONSIDER YOURSELF CUT. FINE. 460 00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:11,125 I DON'T NEED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. 461 00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:13,250 NO? HOW ABOUT ALL THE SHIT YOU BOUGHT WITH IT. 462 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,792 HUH? YOU NEED THIS? 463 00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:15,875 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 464 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,041 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 465 00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:18,041 OH, HE SAYS HE DOESN'T NEED IT. 466 00:18:18,041 --> 00:18:19,875 EH, TAKE IT. I HATE THAT LAMP. 467 00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:22,750 IT'S LIKE READING ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN. 468 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,125 SINCE WHEN DO YOU READ? 469 00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:25,458 OH, FUCK YOU. 470 00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:27,083 OH! [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 471 00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:29,834 THIS MAKES ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. 472 00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,709 I'M GUESSING YOU DON'T NEED THESE PILLOWS, EITHER. TAKE THEM. 473 00:18:31,709 --> 00:18:33,083 THEY ONLY GET IN THE WAY. 474 00:18:33,083 --> 00:18:34,250 THEY ADD COLOR. 475 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:34,792 HERE. 476 00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:36,750 I AM SO SORRY. 477 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:39,959 I HAD NO INKLING WHEN HE BROUGHT US HERE -- SHUT UP! 478 00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:41,125 Matt: YOU NEED THE MICROWAVE? 479 00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:42,417 I KNOW I PAID FOR THIS. 480 00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,583 IT WAS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 481 00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:44,792 IT SHOULDN'T COUNT. 482 00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:47,125 WHO GIVES A SHIT?! LET HIM TAKE IT! 483 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:49,542 WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA WAIT FOR THE WATER TO BOIL? 484 00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:50,208 HERE. 485 00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:51,041 NO, GIVE ME THAT. 486 00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:51,792 GIVE ME THAT. 487 00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:52,625 DON'T LET HER TAKE IT. 488 00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:54,542 SHE'S VERY STRONG. 489 00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:55,875 SHE'S AN 80-YEAR-OLD WOMAN! 490 00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:57,625 FUCK YOU, 80! 491 00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:04,208 I'M CALLING THE POLICE! YEAH? 492 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:06,291 BETTER DO IT BEFORE I TAKE BACK THE PHONES. 493 00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:08,166 DO SOMETHING. YOU DO SOMETHING. 494 00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:09,125 GOD DAMN IT! 495 00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:11,458 I WISH DAVID SCHWIMMER WAS MY SON. 496 00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:12,625 SO DO I! 497 00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:14,000 FUCK YOU. 498 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,375 FUCK YOU! 499 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:17,792 THIS IS NICE. 500 00:19:17,792 --> 00:19:18,750 IS IT NEW? 501 00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:19,959 NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 502 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,166 AND IT'S ROOMY. 503 00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:22,625 YOU CAN PUT A LOT OF CRAP IN THERE. 504 00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:23,792 YOU WANT ME TO GO UP AND GET SOME MORE? 505 00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:24,834 FUCK YOU. 506 00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:26,333 FUCK YOU! GET IN THE CAR. 507 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,333 DROP DEAD, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! 508 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,500 SO NICE TO MEET YOU. 509 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,625 YOU TOO. 510 00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:33,834 Matt: GET IN! 511 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,333 I HAVE TO SAY, THIS FEELS LIKE RATHER HARSH JUSTICE. 512 00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:48,417 IT'S NOT. 513 00:19:48,417 --> 00:19:51,458 HE'S A LYING SCUMBAG, AND HE WENT TOO FAR THIS TIME. 514 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:55,000 STILL, SHOULDN'T YOU AT LEAST GIVE IT TO A CHARITY 515 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,166 OR THE HOMELESS? YEAH. 516 00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,959 THAT'S WHAT THE HOMELESS NEED -- THROW PILLOWS. 517 00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:02,208 [ RINGTONE PLAYS ] 518 00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:06,166 YO. 519 00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,125 BETH: Hi, honey. It's Beth. 520 00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,709 SO, I JUST GOT OFF WITH TMZ. 521 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:14,542 DO YOU KNOW A WOMAN NAMED DAWN RANDOLPH? 522 00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:15,750 NO. 523 00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:17,000 MORNING'S DAUGHTER? 524 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,750 OH. YEAH. 525 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,959 UNDERSTANDABLE. 526 00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:20,500 YOU ONLY FUCKED HER ONCE. 527 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,083 WHAT ABOUT HER? 528 00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:25,542 Evidently, she's the one who gave TMZ the rehab story. 529 00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:27,625 GUESS I SHOULD HAVE CALLED HER BACK. 530 00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:30,083 MAYBE. 531 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,917 Can I tell them she's just an angry ex? 532 00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:33,208 YEAH, YEAH. SURE. 533 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,667 SO, IT DEFINITELY WASN'T MY FATHER? 534 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,625 Definitely. They know him over there. 535 00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:37,959 WASN'T HIM THIS TIME. 536 00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:39,875 GOTCHA. THANKS. 537 00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:46,208 AH, WELL. 538 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,458 SHOULDN'T YOU GIVE IT ALL BACK? 539 00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:50,709 NAH. 540 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,458 IT'LL KEEP HIM ON HIS TOES. 541 00:20:58,083 --> 00:21:00,417 YEAH. COUNTING EQUITIES, COUNTING REAL ESTATE, 542 00:21:00,417 --> 00:21:02,667 THE OFFICE-BUILDING THING -- ALL OF IT -- 543 00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:06,208 JUST ROUGHLY A BALLPARK FIGURE. 544 00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:07,417 REALLY? 545 00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:08,917 HOW THE HELL WOULD GOOGLE KNOW THAT? 546 00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:10,750 [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 547 00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:11,917 HANG ON. I GOT ANOTHER CALL. 548 00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:13,959 LET ME CALL YOU BACK. OKAY. 549 00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:14,834 [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 550 00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:16,000 HELLO? 551 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,083 JUST GOT OFF WITH NBC. 552 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,083 GUESS WHAT. 553 00:21:18,083 --> 00:21:19,792 THEY BLINKED. 554 00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:20,750 SERIOUSLY? 555 00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:21,750 You don't have to audition. 556 00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:22,834 NO SHIT? 557 00:21:22,834 --> 00:21:23,959 No shit. 558 00:21:23,959 --> 00:21:25,375 YOU JUST HAVE TO GO IN AND MEET. 559 00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:26,583 WHY? Why? 560 00:21:26,583 --> 00:21:27,709 SO THEY CAN SAVE FACE. 561 00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:29,375 LOOK, YOU'LL MAKE NICE. THEY'LL MAKE NICE. 562 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:30,792 YOU'LL BLOW THEIR SKIRTS UP. 563 00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:31,792 I CAN DO THAT. 564 00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:33,083 I know you can. 565 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,542 AND I DON'T HAVE TO READ? 566 00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:35,959 AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ. 567 00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:37,125 ALL RIGHT. 568 00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:38,375 GREAT. 569 00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:39,667 DON'T SAY I NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR YOU. 570 00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:42,041 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME YOU THOUGHT I SHOULD READ. 571 00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:43,625 HEY, IF I WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING, 572 00:21:43,625 --> 00:21:45,250 YOU'D STILL HAVE A MOVIE CAREER. 573 00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:46,542 [ SIGHS ] 574 00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:48,333 [ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ] 575 00:21:50,834 --> 00:21:52,917 THIS IS VERY UNUSUAL. 576 00:21:52,917 --> 00:21:53,959 HE'S NEVER LATE. 577 00:21:53,959 --> 00:21:55,083 IT'S FINE. 578 00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:56,792 GIVES US A CHANCE TO CATCH UP. 579 00:21:56,792 --> 00:21:58,166 TOTALLY. 580 00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:03,792 SO, WHAT'S NEW? 581 00:22:03,792 --> 00:22:08,625 WELL, UH, MY WIFE HAS HODGKIN'S DISEASE. 582 00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:09,875 AND I BOUGHT A TESLA. 583 00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:11,750 OH, MY GOD. I KNOW. 584 00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:15,583 IT'S SO STRANGE, KNOWING I'LL NEVER HAVE TO BUY GAS AGAIN. 585 00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:17,583 SURE. 586 00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,000 FEELS GOOD. 587 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,125 SO, TALK TO ME... 588 00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:22,000 BEFORE HE GETS HERE. 589 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:22,750 HOW'S HE DOING? 590 00:22:22,750 --> 00:22:23,875 CASTOR? 591 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:24,834 UH... 592 00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:26,166 OH, SHIT. 593 00:22:26,166 --> 00:22:28,000 NO. NO, NO, NO. ALL GOOD. 594 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:28,834 ARE WE IN TROUBLE HERE? 595 00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:31,709 I DON'T THINK SO. 596 00:22:31,709 --> 00:22:33,792 JESUS, FUCK! 597 00:22:33,792 --> 00:22:34,959 NO, WE'RE FINE. 598 00:22:36,542 --> 00:22:41,125 IT'S JUST I SHOULD PROBABLY GIVE YOU A LITTLE HEADS-UP. 599 00:22:41,125 --> 00:22:42,458 WHAT? 600 00:22:42,458 --> 00:22:46,583 SOMETIMES HE CAN SEEM A BIT... 601 00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:47,291 GAY? 602 00:22:47,291 --> 00:22:48,333 NO. 603 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:49,834 ANTI-SEMITIC? NO. 604 00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:51,166 WHAT, THEN? Castor: AHA! 605 00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:53,500 APOLOGIES, APOLOGIES! OH! 606 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:54,125 AH. 607 00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:55,375 SORRY I'M LATE. 608 00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:56,667 NO. SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT. 609 00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:57,709 SO SORRY I'M LATE. 610 00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:00,208 I WAS ACTUALLY HERE 20 MINUTES EARLY, 611 00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:01,834 BUT I REFUSE TO VALET PARK. 612 00:23:01,834 --> 00:23:03,500 I KNOW. CRAZY! 613 00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,166 BUT THEY SIT IN YOUR SEAT. THEY TOUCH YOUR WHEEL. 614 00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:06,041 UGH! 615 00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:07,291 ANYWAY... 616 00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,792 I ENDED UP PARKING HALFWAY TO BURBANK, 617 00:23:08,792 --> 00:23:10,542 BUT I'M HERE NOW. 618 00:23:10,542 --> 00:23:12,083 JUST GIVE ME A SEC TO LOOK AT THE MENU, SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN EAT. 619 00:23:12,083 --> 00:23:14,041 THEN I'M ALL YOURS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ANYTHING YOU CAN EAT? 620 00:23:14,041 --> 00:23:14,917 I'M VEGAN. 621 00:23:14,917 --> 00:23:15,875 THAT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS. 622 00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:17,208 MY DAUGHTER'S VEGAN. 623 00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:18,959 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE VERY HEALTHY. 624 00:23:18,959 --> 00:23:20,250 TELL THAT TO HER SCALE. 625 00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:23,041 SHE WEIGHS 230 POUNDS, AND SHE'S 5'1". 626 00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:24,834 THAT'S A LOT OF VEGAN. 627 00:23:26,208 --> 00:23:28,542 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 628 00:23:28,542 --> 00:23:31,291 PLACE AIN'T GONNA SMELL THE SAME WITHOUT YOU. 629 00:23:31,291 --> 00:23:32,542 NOW GET OUT OF HERE, LADIES. 630 00:23:32,542 --> 00:23:34,041 Man: ALL RIGHT. HAVE A GOOD ONE. 631 00:23:34,041 --> 00:23:34,917 Man 2: BYE, COACH. 632 00:23:48,917 --> 00:23:50,583 Director: AND...CUT! 633 00:23:50,583 --> 00:23:53,125 Man: CHECK THE GATE. 634 00:23:53,125 --> 00:23:56,750 AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS A FINAL WRAP ON "PUCKS"! 635 00:23:56,750 --> 00:23:58,458 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 636 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,083 OH, MY GOD. IT'S OVER. 637 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,083 IT'S ACTUALLY OVER. 638 00:24:04,083 --> 00:24:06,125 I KNOW. UNBELIEVABLE. 639 00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:07,417 [ SIGHS ] 640 00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:09,041 SHOULD WE SAY A LITTLE SOMETHING? 641 00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:11,834 WE PROBABLY SHOULD. EVERYONE, CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? 642 00:24:11,834 --> 00:24:13,291 OR CHRIS WILL. 643 00:24:13,291 --> 00:24:14,542 BEFORE EVERYONE SCATTERS, 644 00:24:14,542 --> 00:24:15,709 THERE'S SOMETHING I REALLY HAVE TO SAY, 645 00:24:15,709 --> 00:24:18,125 AND I CANNOT STRESS IT ENOUGH. 646 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,458 YOU MUST BE SURE TO SEE AMY AND RETURN YOUR DRESSING-ROOM KEYS. 647 00:24:22,458 --> 00:24:24,917 OTHERWISE, THERE WILL BE A $50 KEY CHARGE. 648 00:24:24,917 --> 00:24:26,625 THANK YOU. 649 00:24:26,625 --> 00:24:28,125 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 650 00:24:28,125 --> 00:24:31,208 NOT QUITE THE SPEECH I WOULD HAVE GIVEN. 651 00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:33,125 BUT IT CAME FROM THE HEART. 652 00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:34,500 [ CHUCKLES ] 653 00:24:54,166 --> 00:24:56,542 I'VE GOT TO SAY, I'M A LITTLE SAD. 654 00:24:56,542 --> 00:24:57,709 I KNOW. 655 00:24:57,709 --> 00:24:59,750 ME TOO, WHICH IS SURPRISING, 656 00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:01,917 CONSIDERING I HATED EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT. 657 00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,834 HM. 658 00:25:03,834 --> 00:25:04,917 HELLO. 659 00:25:04,917 --> 00:25:07,583 OH. HEY. 660 00:25:07,583 --> 00:25:10,792 WE WERE JUST SAYING THIS ALL FEELS VERY STRANGE. 661 00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:11,709 WHAT? 662 00:25:12,667 --> 00:25:15,500 OH. YEAH. 663 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:19,250 OH, I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS! 664 00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:20,583 WELL, UH... 665 00:25:20,583 --> 00:25:22,083 MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL GO OUT FOR A DRINK OR SOMETHING. 666 00:25:22,083 --> 00:25:23,291 ABSOLUTELY. 667 00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:25,709 THAT SOUNDS GREAT, EXCEPT I CAN'T. 668 00:25:26,875 --> 00:25:28,041 OH. 669 00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:29,041 I'VE GOT A WIG FITTING. 670 00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:30,458 MY PILOT STARTS TOMORROW. 671 00:25:31,959 --> 00:25:33,959 SHE'S STEALING THE WARDROBE. 672 00:25:33,959 --> 00:25:35,709 YES, SHE IS. 673 00:25:35,709 --> 00:25:38,333 UH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A PILOT. MM-HMM. 674 00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:39,375 WHAT'S IT ABOUT? 675 00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:41,166 OH, IT'S THIS STUPID SCI-FI THING 676 00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:44,333 ABOUT EIGHT PEOPLE WHO, UH, SURVIVE A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST, 677 00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:46,458 AND THEY WANT MY HAIR SHORT. 678 00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,458 WELL, SURE. NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST. 679 00:25:48,458 --> 00:25:49,750 DEFINITELY CALLS FOR A PIXIE CUT. 680 00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:52,500 YEAH. WELL, THIS HAIR'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE FOR A PILOT. 681 00:25:54,083 --> 00:25:55,250 [ SIGHS ] 682 00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:56,542 ALL RIGHTY. 683 00:25:56,542 --> 00:25:57,834 I GUESS THIS IS IT. 684 00:25:57,834 --> 00:25:59,625 SAD FACE. 685 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:03,041 YES. SAD FACES ALL AROUND. 686 00:26:03,041 --> 00:26:05,000 TAKE CARE, YOU GUYS. 687 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:05,875 BYE-BYE. BYE-BYE. 688 00:26:05,875 --> 00:26:06,709 BYE. 689 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,875 AND THEN THERE WERE TWO. 690 00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:19,709 SAD FACE? 691 00:26:19,709 --> 00:26:21,750 I DON'T THINK SO. 692 00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:23,500 [ CHUCKLES ] WE'RE GOING HOME. 693 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,250 I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN WE'RE EATING NUTS ON THE PLANE. 694 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,250 WE ARE GOING HOME. 695 00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:29,375 OH, WE ARE GOING HOME! 696 00:26:29,375 --> 00:26:31,291 [ LAUGHS ] 697 00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:34,542 MMM! 698 00:26:35,834 --> 00:26:36,792 MMM! 699 00:26:36,792 --> 00:26:38,208 YOU GOT TO TASTE THIS CARROT. 700 00:26:38,208 --> 00:26:40,625 I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT THAT'S THE BEST CARROT I EVER TASTED. 701 00:26:40,625 --> 00:26:41,959 IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY. 702 00:26:41,959 --> 00:26:43,041 MMM. 703 00:26:43,041 --> 00:26:45,000 SO...TALK TO ME. 704 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,083 WHERE ARE WE? TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD. 705 00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:50,250 OKAY. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, THIS ONE'S A GENIUS. 706 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:51,417 WHAT? [ COUGHS ] 707 00:26:51,417 --> 00:26:53,709 UH...WOW. THANK YOU. 708 00:26:53,709 --> 00:26:55,875 YESTERDAY I WAS KIND OF DOWN. 709 00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:57,542 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU COULD TELL. A LITTLE BIT, YEAH. 710 00:26:57,542 --> 00:26:58,542 A LITTLE. 711 00:26:58,542 --> 00:27:00,458 I WAS ALL, "OH, WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. 712 00:27:00,458 --> 00:27:01,917 WHAT ARE WE GONNA TELL ELLIOT?!" 713 00:27:01,917 --> 00:27:04,458 THEN THIS LADY HANDS ME A SCRIPT. 714 00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:06,417 JUST PULLS IT OUT OF HER ASS. 715 00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,208 WELL... I READ IT LAST NIGHT. 716 00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:10,000 OH, MY GOD. 717 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,583 IT'S GONNA TURN THIS NETWORK AROUND. 718 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,291 OKAY. THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. 719 00:27:13,291 --> 00:27:15,583 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT "THE OPPOSITE OF US"? 720 00:27:15,583 --> 00:27:16,542 UH, YEAH. 721 00:27:16,542 --> 00:27:18,542 AH. IT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD! 722 00:27:18,542 --> 00:27:20,166 THE WRITING -- RAZOR-SHARP. 723 00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:21,333 THE COMEDY. [ PANTING ] 724 00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:22,125 FUCK! 725 00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:23,583 I WAS LAUGHING OUT LOUD. 726 00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:25,166 I NEVER LAUGH OUT LOUD. 727 00:27:25,166 --> 00:27:26,208 HE DOESN'T. 728 00:27:26,208 --> 00:27:27,583 IT'S GOT HEART. 729 00:27:27,583 --> 00:27:29,125 IT'S A SHOW YOU WANT TO WATCH. 730 00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:30,500 I WANT TO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. 731 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,291 I'M EXCITED. YOU'RE TALKING, AND I'M EXCITED. 732 00:27:32,291 --> 00:27:33,959 WHO WROTE IT? 733 00:27:33,959 --> 00:27:35,166 UH... 734 00:27:35,166 --> 00:27:36,458 SEAN AND BEVERLY LINCOLN. 735 00:27:36,458 --> 00:27:38,041 YOU KNOW, THE TEAM WHO DID "PUCKS." 736 00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:39,041 AND IT'S GOOD? 737 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:40,500 I'M TELLING YOU -- IT'S NOT JUST GOOD. 738 00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:41,959 IT'S A HOME RUN. 739 00:27:41,959 --> 00:27:43,375 THIS ONE FOUND A WINNER. 740 00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:45,959 [ LAUGHS ] OH! 741 00:27:45,959 --> 00:27:47,458 THAT'S VERY GENEROUS. 742 00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:49,500 BUT BEFORE WE COMMIT TO THIS, 743 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,083 THERE ARE A LOT OF OTHER REALLY GREAT SCRIPTS 744 00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:54,750 THAT I COULD, YOU KNOW, PULL OUT OF MY ASS. 745 00:27:54,750 --> 00:27:56,667 WHAT? NO! THIS IS IT. 746 00:27:56,667 --> 00:27:58,291 I DON'T WANT TO EVEN SHOOT A PILOT. 747 00:27:58,291 --> 00:28:00,333 I WANT TO GO STRAIGHT TO SERIES. 748 00:28:00,333 --> 00:28:01,667 HOW SOON CAN THEY START? 749 00:28:03,667 --> 00:28:05,667 [ TYPEWRITER CLICKING ] 49281

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