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1
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(HONKING)
2
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-(DIPPER AND MABEL MUNCHING)
-(HONKING)
3
00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:09,298
(CHUCKLES) Nacho earrings.
I'm hilarious!
4
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,166
-That's debatable.
-(HONKING)
5
00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,922
Aw, come on!
What's with all this traffic?
6
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:16,426
-And why is it all... Covered wagons?
-(NEIGHS)
7
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,849
Oh, no. No! No!
8
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,684
-(GRUNTS)
-(TIRES SCREECH)
9
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,312
Not today! Not today!
10
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,272
-(BRAKE SCREECHES)
-Oh, heavens!
11
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,557
-Goodness!
-(QUACKING)
12
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,859
(TIRES SCREECH)
13
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,277
Grunkle Stan, what's going on?
14
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,605
We got to get out of here!
Before it's too late!
15
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:35,942
They've circled the wagons!
16
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,905
We're trapped! No!
17
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,622
(COWBELL TINKLING)
18
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,454
I got a good feeling about today.
19
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,831
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
20
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,079
(GIGGLING)
21
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-Man, look at the town.
-Wow.
22
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,550
Dirty glass!
We 901: dirty glass! Dirty glass!
23
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,961
STAN: Oh, boy. It's Pioneer Day.
24
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,721
Every year these yahoos
dress up like idiots
25
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,015
to celebrate the day
Gravity Falls was founded.
26
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,935
Welcome to 1863!
27
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,979
I will break you, little man!
28
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-(SCREAMS)
-(CRASHING)
29
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,858
Wow, look! Candle dipping!
30
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McGUCKET: Gold!
DIPPER: Whoa! Gold panning!
31
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I now pronounce you man and wife.
32
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I do!
33
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,117
What you talking about?
34
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,986
Oh, yeah, I remember this.
35
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,118
In Gravity Falls, it used to be legal
to marry woodpeckers.
36
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,125
Oh, it's still legal. Very legal.
37
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ANNOUNCER: (ON SPEAKER)
Come, one and all,
38
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,753
for the opening ceremonies!
39
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,752
-Grunkle Stan, you coming?
-No, thank you.
40
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,717
Just remember, if you come back
to the shack talking like these people,
41
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:21,842
you're dead to me!
42
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,051
There's a carpetbagger
in the turnip cellar.
43
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Well, hornswoggle my haversack!
44
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(BOTH SPITTING)
45
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,771
(BOTH LAUGHING)
46
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Dead to me!
47
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,021
Hear ye! Hear ye!
48
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:37,105
Ye olde commencement ceremony
is about to commence!
49
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,447
-Whoo!
-(BELL TINKLING)
50
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,107
I got a bell!
51
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,078
Oh, no! Police! My purse!
52
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Ring ring! Ring ring! Whoa'.!
53
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,208
(CHUCKLES) He sure loves his bell.
54
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,369
(FEEDBACK)
55
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,798
Howdy, everyone!
You all know me, Pacifica Northwest,
56
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,218
great-great-granddaughter of
town founder, Nathaniel Northwest.
57
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,003
I'm also very rich.
58
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,220
(PEOPLE CHEERING AND CLAPPING)
59
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,679
Now, if you've got the pioneer spirit,
60
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,135
we ask you to come on up
and introduce yourself.
61
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,016
(GASPS) Audience participation!
62
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,097
I don't know, Mabel.
63
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,227
Isn't that girl
kind of like your arch enemy?
64
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,064
That's water
under the bridge. (CHUCKLES)
65
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,312
Our first newcomer is
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00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,775
Mabel.
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00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:24,069
Yeah! Let's get this
Pioneer Day started! (BLOWS)
68
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,871
Right, guys? USA! USA!
69
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,373
ALL: (CHANTING) USA! USA!
70
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:34,207
(TEARFULLY) USA! USA!
71
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,707
I'm sorry to break it to you,
but Pioneer Day is for serious people,
72
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,716
and you look and act ridiculous.
73
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:44,175
I mean, a puppy playing basketball?
Are you always this silly?
74
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,349
Hey. I can be serious. (GRUNTS)
75
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,019
You do have nachos
hanging from your ears, hon.
76
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,057
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
I'm embarrassed for you.
77
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,267
Give her a hand, everybody!
78
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,692
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
79
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,068
Now, who wants to
hear more about me?
80
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,107
(GRUNTS) Excuse me!
81
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,992
Everyone say, "Northwest!"
82
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,826
-ALL: Northwest!
-(CAMERA CLICKS)
83
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,112
(CHUCKLES)
84
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,196
We're perfect.
85
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,157
Hey, you okay?
86
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:15,169
-I need some old-time y butterscotch.
-Let's get out of here.
87
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,379
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-(BRAYING)
88
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,633
Hey there, uh, donkey boy.
Give me a hand with my car, huh?
89
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,637
Here in 1863,
I have never heard tell of a "car."
90
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,677
Pray tell, what is this magic wheel box?
91
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,430
Ugh! Come on, Steve,
you're a mechanic for Pete's sake.
92
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,605
Cut me some slack!
93
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:40,278
"Slack"? I am unfamiliar
with this bold, new expression.
94
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,979
-I can't take this anymore!
-(GRUNTS)
95
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,906
I'm getting dumber
every second I'm here!
96
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,025
Are we going to have to intervene here?
97
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,615
Oh, look, the "constable."
98
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,576
What are you going to do?
Throw me in ye stocks?
99
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:52,827
(LAUGHS)
100
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,246
Oh, come on!
101
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,001
(SCATTING)
102
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,874
Hey, nice outfit, Gideon.
You actually look less girly than usual.
103
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,208
(LAUGHS)
104
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:07,592
Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble
tomato farmer selling his wares.
105
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,594
Whoops! I dropped one.
106
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,054
'(GRUNT$)
'Whoops!
107
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,685
I dropped another one.
108
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,145
(GRUNTS)
109
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,392
(GROWLS)
110
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,940
Pioneer Day!
111
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,614
Dipper, can I ask you something?
112
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,034
Do you think I'm silly?
113
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,119
Uh... No?
114
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:35,204
Ugh! I knew it.
The nacho earrings, the sweater.
115
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,076
I thought I was being charming.
116
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,206
But I guess people
see me as a big joke.
117
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,414
(GRUNTS)
118
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,424
Come on, Mabel, you love that sweater!
119
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:48,595
I did before Pacifica ruined it for me.
She ruins everything!
120
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,047
Pacifica!
121
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,304
Why does she think that
being related to the town founder
122
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,227
means she gets to treat
everyone like garbage?
123
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,928
Someone needs to take her down a peg.
124
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,309
(GASPS) Wait a minute!
125
00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,564
I feel like I read something about
126
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,608
Pacifica's great-great
grandfather before.
127
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,603
Of course! Oh, this is perfect!
128
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:07,155
(IMITATING AN OLD MAN)
"In my investigations..."
129
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,074
-(STUTTERS) Should I do the voice?
-Uh-uh.
130
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,279
Nah, I'll just read normal.
131
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,613
"In my investigations,
I recently made a discovery.
132
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:17,200
"Nathaniel Northwest may not be
the founder of Gravity Falls!
133
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,001
"I believe the proof of this secret
134
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,294
"is buried somewhere
on the enclosed document.
135
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,002
"If only I could crack the code."
136
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,716
Oh, man, if this cover-up is true,
137
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,048
it means Pacifica's
whole family is a fraud.
138
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,430
-This could be a major conspiracy.
-Really?
139
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,101
I got to investigate this.
140
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:40,852
Wait! I'm coming with you.
Conspiracies are serious, right?
141
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:41,932
Oh, yeah, definitely.
142
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,313
Well, if I help you crack this code,
143
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,360
then nobody
could ever call me silly again!
144
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,278
Yeah! Mystery Twins?
145
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,902
-I thought you hated that.
-I'm starting to accept it.
146
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,077
(BOTH LAUGHING)
147
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,453
This is Sheriff Blubs.
We've got a code sepia.
148
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,042
(SPITS) What? And what
are you doing about it?
149
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,286
I'm following them right now.
150
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,172
Find them and stop them.
There's no room for error.
151
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,044
I understand. Blubs out.
152
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,051
Deputy Durland,
maintaining this cover-up
153
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,130
is the mission we've been training for
our entire careers.
154
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,966
-Are you ready?
-Whoo!
155
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,347
(CHUCKLES) If being delightful
was a crime,
156
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,931
you'd be breaking the law.
157
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,353
-Let's go get 'em!
-(BELL TINKLING)
158
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,356
-Whoo!
-(CHUCKLES)
159
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,359
McGUCKET: Back in olden days,
160
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,734
pioneers drew sustenance
from telling stories around the fire.
161
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,988
So let's eat some books, children.
Go ahead, eat the books!
162
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,867
(GROWLING)
163
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:37,829
All right, Mabel.
164
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,364
If we can prove that
Nathaniel Northwest
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00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:43,293
wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls,
it'll finally put Pacifica in her place.
166
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:47,169
And solving a mystery
will prove that I'm not silly! I'm serious.
167
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,966
(MUNCHING)
168
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,502
Serious!
169
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,013
We just need to crack this code.
Let me see.
170
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,890
It's not Egyptian.
It's not numerology.
171
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,187
It's not... Wait! Of course!
172
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,891
The triangle is the
alchemist's symbol for flame.
173
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,810
Lighting the parchment on fire
will reveal the secret message!
174
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,028
It's so obvious!
175
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,782
All right, let's just light this sucker up,
and... Mabel!
176
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,567
Mwop! I just made a hat.
177
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,655
Ugh! I just did
something silly again! (BLOWS)
178
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,995
Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map!
179
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,495
And I was going to burn it.
180
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,423
We were on the lookout for
two kids who might be reading.
181
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,466
We're hunting 'em down
for secret reasons!
182
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,509
-Whoo!
-(BELL TINKLING)
183
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:35,925
Nerp.
184
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,348
Maybe we should take this elsewhere.
185
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,517
The map should lead us to
186
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,272
the Gravity Falls Museum of History.
187
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,145
You realize what this means, Mabel.
188
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,643
We're going to have to break in.
189
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,240
And those are your
free Pioneer Day passes,
190
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,443
and your balloons, blue and pink.
191
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,446
We're in.
192
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:05,702
What are we going to do next?
Steal Thomas Jefferson's ribcage?
193
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,169
Ew. No. According to the map,
194
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,544
the next clue about the
real town founder should be right here!
195
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,550
We have to figure this one out quick.
196
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:18,180
I have a feeling those cops weren't
at the library to check out books.
197
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,507
I don't think the one
with the bell can read.
198
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,016
So what is it, anyway?
199
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:24,970
BOTH: Hmm.
200
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:28,648
Hmm...
201
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,352
Hey, painting! Be less stupid!
202
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,313
-(GASPS) It worked.
-Huh?
203
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:40,410
Wait. It's not abstract, it's upside down.
204
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,533
I think I've seen that statue
in the cemetery.
205
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,114
Let's go! Quick!
206
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,540
(BOTH GROAN)
207
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,457
Head rush.
208
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,910
I'm sorry,
but we're all out of pink balloons.
209
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,962
Why did we even come?
210
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,964
GOVERNMENT AGENT:
(OVER RADIO) Officer Blubs.
211
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,251
-Blubs here.
-Have the targets been apprehended?
212
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,840
Negative, but we're close. I promise.
Those kids will never get past us!
213
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,553
-(BOTH PANTING)
-Hey! Wait!
214
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,218
(BOTH YELP)
215
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,145
Dang it!
216
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:13,773
For the last time, we are not going
south for the winter! Our home is here!
217
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,438
You always say that!
218
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,529
Come on. (GRUNTS)
219
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,405
Come on. Argh!
220
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,450
Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle,
Mr. Pines. Looking for this?
221
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,285
Yeah, yeah.
What do you want? Money?
222
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:33,543
I want you to say that the Northwest
family is the best family in Gravity Falls.
223
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,544
Oh, sure! You want that in writing?
224
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,967
(GRUNTS) Mmm-hmm.
225
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,586
There we go.
226
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,807
-Ha! I did that with my mouth!
-(WHISTLES)
227
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,812
Gah! Come on!
228
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,606
DIPPER: Hmm.
229
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,986
The statue must be pointing
to the next clue.
230
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,030
Oh, gross, she's picking my nose!
(CHUCKLES)
231
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,198
-(cRAc| 00:11:03,660
Mabel, look!
233
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,200
Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica?
234
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,665
Bam! Ah, ow, ow!
235
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:09,742
Okay.
236
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:17,841
Now we're getting into real
conspiracy mode! I feel so serious!
237
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,551
(MUNCHING)
238
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,465
Okay, look out for booby traps.
239
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,474
(SNICKERS) Booby traps.
240
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,303
-(THUDS)
-(SWISHING)
241
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,897
-Tranquilizer darts!
-(SCREAMS) Whoa!
242
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,645
(BOTH PANTING)
243
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,727
(BOTH SCREAMING)
244
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,746
It's a treasure trove of
historic-y secret-y things!
245
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:54,621
Oh, man! Ben Franklin
secretly was a woman!
246
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:55,954
Hey, jackpot!
247
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,208
Now we'll find out
who the real town founder was.
248
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,512
"Let it be here recorded that
Nathaniel Northwest,
249
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:08,425
"fabled founder of Gravity Falls,
was in fact, a fraud!
250
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,721
"As well as a
waste-shoveling village idiot?"
251
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,021
(LAUGHS)
252
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:18,276
Oh. Bad news for Pacifica.
Wait till the papers hear about this!
253
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,105
Once people see that
I uncovered a historical conspiracy,
254
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,693
they could never call me silly!
255
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,866
"The true founder of Gravity Falls
256
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,366
"was Sir Lord
Quentin Tremble y III, Esq."
257
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:29,784
Who's Quentin Tremble y?
258
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,157
That's none of your business!
259
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:33,620
(BOTH GASP)
260
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,292
-Whoo! We gotcha!
-(BELL TINKLING)
261
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,791
Whoa'! Whoo.
262
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,206
(GRUNTS) Whoo-hoo...
263
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,755
He got hit with
quite a few of those darts.
264
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:47,506
I hate to do this, but Quentin Trembley's
a matter of national security.
265
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,932
Yeah! Whoa...
266
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,805
I think I might be colorblind now.
267
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,352
What do you mean, "national security?"
268
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,639
And who is Quentin Tremble y, anyway?
269
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,064
See for yourself.
270
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,774
MABEL: Ugh! It's black and white!
271
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,197
DIPPER: Shh! Mabel!
272
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,698
If you're watching this,
273
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,447
then you are one of eight people
in these United States
274
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,745
with clearance to view this information.
275
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:14,791
In fact, I myself will be shot
as soon as the filming is complete.
276
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,998
What, no? (CHUCKLES)
Oh, well, that's a relief!
277
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,582
Of all of America's secrets,
the most embarrassing
278
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:22,874
was that of Quentin Tremble y,
279
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,882
the eighth and a half
President of the United States.
280
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,883
-President?
-Eighth and a half?
281
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,637
After winning the 1837 election
in a landslide,
282
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,641
Quentin Tremble y
quickly gained a reputation
283
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,268
as America's silliest president.
284
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,773
He waged war on pancakes,
285
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,771
appointed six babies
to the Supreme Court,
286
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,319
and issued the
De-pants-apation Proclamation.
287
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,947
His State of the Union speech
was even worse.
288
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,741
QUENTIN: The only thing
we have to fear
289
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,365
is gigantic man-eating spiders!
290
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,745
NARRATOR:
He was kicked out of office
291
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,494
and escaped to an uncharted valley
he named Gravity Falls,
292
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,451
after plummeting into it at high speed.
293
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,961
Trembley's shameful term
was erased from history,
294
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,165
and officially replaced by
William Henry Harrison as President,
295
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:06,877
and local nobody, Nathaniel
Northwest, as founder of Gravity Falls.
296
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,172
The whereabouts of President
Trembley's body are unknown.
297
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,266
Until now.
298
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,804
Whoa! Is that, like,
amber or something?
299
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,606
The fool thought he could live forever
300
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,525
by encasing himself
in a block of solid peanut brittle.
301
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,773
Smooth move, Mr. President!
302
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,906
Finding Trembley's body
was our special mission.
303
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,484
And now, thanks to you, it's complete.
304
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:35,072
Who knew all we had to do was follow
a little girl's trail of candy wrappers!
305
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,328
Oh, silly.
306
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,033
Now that you know the truth,
307
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,120
well, we can't let you go around
talking about it.
308
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,830
-Does that mean...
-Are you going to kill us?
309
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,006
Oh, no!
310
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,546
Now, now, calm down now,
buddy, calm down.
311
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,879
We're just going to escort you
and all this stuff back to Washington.
312
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,510
You ain't coming back, by the way.
313
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,391
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
314
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,061
Whoo-hoo! We got fold-out beds.
315
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,060
Good thing I brought my book
of spooky ghost stories.
316
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,733
I brought rope for friendship bracelets.
317
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,481
(BOTH GIGGLING)
318
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,980
MABEL: Anyone there? Help, help, help!
DIPPER: Hey! Let us out!
319
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,068
(SIGHS) I can't believe
I left a trail of candy wrappers.
320
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:17,657
This is all my fault.
Pacifica had me pegged all along.
321
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,449
I'm just a silly failure
322
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,411
like that embarrassing
President Whatshisname.
323
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,128
(MUNCHING)
324
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,755
(CRACKING)
325
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:29,463
(BOTH SCREAM)
326
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,841
It is I! Quentin Tremble y!
327
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,219
You're alive! But how?
328
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,179
Peanut brittle really does have
life-sustaining properties!
329
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,765
You're not silly. You're brilliant!
330
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,021
And so are you, dear girl.
331
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,774
For following my clues and freeing me
from my delicious tomb!
332
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,948
He's right! Making maps into hats,
hanging upside down.
333
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,776
Your silliness solved a code
334
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,986
that serious cops couldn't crack
in 100 years!
335
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,825
Oh, stop it!
336
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:03,543
By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped
in some sort of crate-shaped box.
337
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,586
It's a crate, Mr. President!
338
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,792
Good thing I have the President's Key,
which can open any lock in America!
339
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,131
(GRUNTS)
340
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,556
I don't think that's going to work.
341
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,135
Wood! My age-old enemy.
342
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:21,727
In order to get out of here,
343
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:25,148
this is going to take
the silliest plan ever conceived.
344
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,770
I think I know who can help you.
345
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:28,939
Hmm.
346
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,146
How about that hole?
347
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,067
-We will leap through it!
-(BOTH GRUNT)
348
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,744
-QUENTIN: Almost! Almost there.
-(MABEL GRUNTS)
349
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,320
Good! Keep pushing!
350
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,489
I'm not sure this is working.
351
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,833
Trust the silliness!
352
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,953
QUENTIN: Fiddlesticks! Keep going!
353
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,589
Is that my third wife? Sandy?
354
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,341
Well, we didn't fit through the hole.
355
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,514
Let's rebuild the box and try again.
356
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,393
-We got to get out of here!
-Also good!
357
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,555
Blubs?
358
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,024
(ALL PANTING)
359
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,563
ALL: Huh?
360
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,941
QUENTIN: Huh! (GRUNTS)
361
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,066
Gimme that!
362
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:27,001
(BREATHLESSLY) There is no escape.
363
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,122
Let me... I got to take a knee.
364
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,332
Are you okay? Can I get you anything?
365
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:36,215
Edwin Durland, you are
a diamond in the rough.
366
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,343
Sheriff Blubs,
do you really wanna lock us all up
367
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,300
in a government facility somewhere?
368
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,477
I've got no choice.
Our orders come from the very top.
369
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:49,357
Wait! Quentin, did you ever
sign an official resignation?
370
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:53,319
No, sir. I ate a salamander
and jumped out the window.
371
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:57,900
Then technically, you're still legally the
President of the United States! Right?
372
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,952
-You got to answer to this guy now!
-BOTH: Huh?
373
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,035
As President of these
several United States,
374
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,493
I hereby order you to pretend
none of this ever happened.
375
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,378
And go on a delightful vacation! Ow!
376
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:11,913
Yes!
377
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:15,592
Vacation? What place
have you always wanted to visit?
378
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:16,922
One, two...
379
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:20,176
BOTH: Silly Water Fun Slides
in Grand Lakes, Michigan!
380
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,555
(BOTH GIGGLING)
381
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,260
' BYe- bye, eve ryo ne! Bye!
- BYE! Bye- bye!
382
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,104
You've done a great service
to your country, Mabel.
383
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,810
As thanks, I'd like to make
you an official U.S. Congressman!
384
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,609
I'm legalizing everything!
385
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,110
-And Roderick.
-Uh, actually...
386
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,525
You, dear boy,
are on your way to unlocking
387
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,406
the mysteries of this great land.
388
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,910
So, I'd like you to have
my President's Key!
389
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,376
And then he chased me around
390
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,955
and spanked me with a paddle
for, like, three hours.
391
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:55,131
Bottom line,
George Washington was a jerk.
392
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:56,382
Ag reed.
393
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,963
(GIGGLING)
394
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,218
Uh!
395
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,178
Kick her off the team.
396
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,892
Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered
a government conspiracy
397
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:10,062
about the eighth and a half President
of the United States. Who's silly now?
398
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,185
What? Who is that idiot?
399
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,814
Put up your dukes, you bald fiend!
400
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,319
The eighth and a half President
of America!
401
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:18,862
I know what you're thinking.
402
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,489
How is he still alive?
403
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,068
Well, turns out you can hibernate
in peanut brittle, and...
404
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,027
(LAUGHING)
405
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:29,582
Wow! You really are a sad, dumb
little girl. Nice top hat, by the way.
406
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,325
-(LAUGHING)
-(CHUCKLES)
407
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,626
Good one, daughter!
408
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:37,169
Oh! I see your car is stuck in the mud.
Enjoy walking home!
409
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:43,304
Aren't you going to tell her
about her ate-gray andpa-gray?
410
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,303
You know what, Dipper?
I've got nothing to prove.
411
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,851
I've learned that being silly is awesome!
412
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,021
Well, I haven't learned anything!
(WHISTLES) Hey, Pacifica!
413
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,102
(TIRES SCREECH)
414
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,691
Nathaniel Northwest
didn't found Gravity Falls,
415
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,194
and your whole family is a sham!
Deal with it!
416
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,491
What? Mom!
417
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:11,286
Man, revenge is underrated.
That felt awesome!
418
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:16,622
Children, I am needed elsewhere.
Just know that I'll always be right here.
419
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,207
On the negative 12 dollar bill.
420
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:20,758
Whoa!
421
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:23,177
This is worthless.
422
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,971
It's less than worthless, my boy.
423
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,089
Tremble y, aWaY!
424
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:29,551
(WHINNIES)
425
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,637
Where do you think he's going?
426
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,268
I'm going to say off a cliff.
427
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,809
And then Soos came by
and talked to me for, like, an hour!
428
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,648
You've been through so much.
429
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,737
-It works!
-So what's with the top hat?
430
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,489
-I'm a Congressman!
-Pardon me?
431
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,574
You are officially pardoned.
432
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,664
(BOTH LAUGHING)
433
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,959
Oy. You are never going to
make sense, are you, kid?
434
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:58,038
No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan.
No, I'm not.
435
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,130
Mabel, awaY!
436
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,129
-(GRUNTS)
-(CRASHING)
437
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,630
I'm okay.
438
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:07,134
Esteemed gentlemen of the
United States Supreme Court.
439
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,511
I implore you to rethink your decision.
440
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,183
(ALL COOING)
441
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,681
Very well.
But who would you have replace me?
442
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,141
-Mama!
-That old crone?
443
00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:20,276
(BABBLING)
444
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:24,155
Chief Justice Num-Num,
you're spitting up on yourself. Now...
445
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,484
Oh... Oh, come on! This is a courtroom!
446
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,694
-I... This is a...
-(BABIES CRYING)
447
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,370
This is a dark day for America.
33574
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