All language subtitles for Gravity Falls S01E08

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:02,161 (HONKING) 2 00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:04,334 -(DIPPER AND MABEL MUNCHING) -(HONKING) 3 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:09,298 (CHUCKLES) Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious! 4 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,166 -That's debatable. -(HONKING) 5 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,922 Aw, come on! What's with all this traffic? 6 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:16,426 -And why is it all... Covered wagons? -(NEIGHS) 7 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,849 Oh, no. No! No! 8 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,684 -(GRUNTS) -(TIRES SCREECH) 9 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,312 Not today! Not today! 10 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,272 -(BRAKE SCREECHES) -Oh, heavens! 11 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,557 -Goodness! -(QUACKING) 12 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,859 (TIRES SCREECH) 13 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,277 Grunkle Stan, what's going on? 14 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,605 We got to get out of here! Before it's too late! 15 00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:35,942 They've circled the wagons! 16 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,905 We're trapped! No! 17 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,622 (COWBELL TINKLING) 18 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,454 I got a good feeling about today. 19 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,831 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 20 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,079 (GIGGLING) 21 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,164 -Man, look at the town. -Wow. 22 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,550 Dirty glass! We 901: dirty glass! Dirty glass! 23 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,961 STAN: Oh, boy. It's Pioneer Day. 24 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,721 Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots 25 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,015 to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded. 26 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,935 Welcome to 1863! 27 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,979 I will break you, little man! 28 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,897 -(SCREAMS) -(CRASHING) 29 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,858 Wow, look! Candle dipping! 30 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,979 McGUCKET: Gold! DIPPER: Whoa! Gold panning! 31 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,030 I now pronounce you man and wife. 32 00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,483 I do! 33 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,117 What you talking about? 34 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,986 Oh, yeah, I remember this. 35 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,118 In Gravity Falls, it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers. 36 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,125 Oh, it's still legal. Very legal. 37 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,501 ANNOUNCER: (ON SPEAKER) Come, one and all, 38 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,753 for the opening ceremonies! 39 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,752 -Grunkle Stan, you coming? -No, thank you. 40 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,717 Just remember, if you come back to the shack talking like these people, 41 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:21,842 you're dead to me! 42 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,051 There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar. 43 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,261 Well, hornswoggle my haversack! 44 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,474 (BOTH SPITTING) 45 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,771 (BOTH LAUGHING) 46 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,189 Dead to me! 47 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,021 Hear ye! Hear ye! 48 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:37,105 Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence! 49 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,447 -Whoo! -(BELL TINKLING) 50 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,107 I got a bell! 51 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,078 Oh, no! Police! My purse! 52 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,030 Ring ring! Ring ring! Whoa'.! 53 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,208 (CHUCKLES) He sure loves his bell. 54 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,369 (FEEDBACK) 55 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,798 Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, 56 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,218 great-great-granddaughter of town founder, Nathaniel Northwest. 57 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,003 I'm also very rich. 58 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,220 (PEOPLE CHEERING AND CLAPPING) 59 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,679 Now, if you've got the pioneer spirit, 60 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,135 we ask you to come on up and introduce yourself. 61 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,016 (GASPS) Audience participation! 62 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,097 I don't know, Mabel. 63 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,227 Isn't that girl kind of like your arch enemy? 64 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,064 That's water under the bridge. (CHUCKLES) 65 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,312 Our first newcomer is 66 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,775 Mabel. 67 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:24,069 Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! (BLOWS) 68 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,871 Right, guys? USA! USA! 69 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,373 ALL: (CHANTING) USA! USA! 70 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:34,207 (TEARFULLY) USA! USA! 71 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,707 I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, 72 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,716 and you look and act ridiculous. 73 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:44,175 I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly? 74 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,349 Hey. I can be serious. (GRUNTS) 75 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,019 You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon. 76 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,057 (CHUCKLES) Wow. I'm embarrassed for you. 77 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,267 Give her a hand, everybody! 78 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,692 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 79 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,068 Now, who wants to hear more about me? 80 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,107 (GRUNTS) Excuse me! 81 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,992 Everyone say, "Northwest!" 82 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,826 -ALL: Northwest! -(CAMERA CLICKS) 83 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,112 (CHUCKLES) 84 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,196 We're perfect. 85 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,157 Hey, you okay? 86 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:15,169 -I need some old-time y butterscotch. -Let's get out of here. 87 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,379 -(TIRES SCREECH) -(BRAYING) 88 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,633 Hey there, uh, donkey boy. Give me a hand with my car, huh? 89 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,637 Here in 1863, I have never heard tell of a "car." 90 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,677 Pray tell, what is this magic wheel box? 91 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,430 Ugh! Come on, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake. 92 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,605 Cut me some slack! 93 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:40,278 "Slack"? I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression. 94 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,979 -I can't take this anymore! -(GRUNTS) 95 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,906 I'm getting dumber every second I'm here! 96 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,025 Are we going to have to intervene here? 97 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,615 Oh, look, the "constable." 98 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,576 What are you going to do? Throw me in ye stocks? 99 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:52,827 (LAUGHS) 100 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,246 Oh, come on! 101 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,001 (SCATTING) 102 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,874 Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look less girly than usual. 103 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,208 (LAUGHS) 104 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:07,592 Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer selling his wares. 105 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,594 Whoops! I dropped one. 106 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,054 '(GRUNT$) 'Whoops! 107 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,685 I dropped another one. 108 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,145 (GRUNTS) 109 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,392 (GROWLS) 110 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,940 Pioneer Day! 111 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,614 Dipper, can I ask you something? 112 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,034 Do you think I'm silly? 113 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,119 Uh... No? 114 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:35,204 Ugh! I knew it. The nacho earrings, the sweater. 115 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,076 I thought I was being charming. 116 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,206 But I guess people see me as a big joke. 117 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,414 (GRUNTS) 118 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,424 Come on, Mabel, you love that sweater! 119 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:48,595 I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything! 120 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,047 Pacifica! 121 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,304 Why does she think that being related to the town founder 122 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,227 means she gets to treat everyone like garbage? 123 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,928 Someone needs to take her down a peg. 124 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,309 (GASPS) Wait a minute! 125 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,564 I feel like I read something about 126 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,608 Pacifica's great-great grandfather before. 127 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,603 Of course! Oh, this is perfect! 128 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:07,155 (IMITATING AN OLD MAN) "In my investigations..." 129 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,074 -(STUTTERS) Should I do the voice? -Uh-uh. 130 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,279 Nah, I'll just read normal. 131 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,613 "In my investigations, I recently made a discovery. 132 00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:17,200 "Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls! 133 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,001 "I believe the proof of this secret 134 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,294 "is buried somewhere on the enclosed document. 135 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,002 "If only I could crack the code." 136 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,716 Oh, man, if this cover-up is true, 137 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,048 it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud. 138 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,430 -This could be a major conspiracy. -Really? 139 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,101 I got to investigate this. 140 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:40,852 Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right? 141 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:41,932 Oh, yeah, definitely. 142 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,313 Well, if I help you crack this code, 143 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,360 then nobody could ever call me silly again! 144 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,278 Yeah! Mystery Twins? 145 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,902 -I thought you hated that. -I'm starting to accept it. 146 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,077 (BOTH LAUGHING) 147 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,453 This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia. 148 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,042 (SPITS) What? And what are you doing about it? 149 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,286 I'm following them right now. 150 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,172 Find them and stop them. There's no room for error. 151 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,044 I understand. Blubs out. 152 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,051 Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up 153 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,130 is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. 154 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,966 -Are you ready? -Whoo! 155 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,347 (CHUCKLES) If being delightful was a crime, 156 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,931 you'd be breaking the law. 157 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,353 -Let's go get 'em! -(BELL TINKLING) 158 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,356 -Whoo! -(CHUCKLES) 159 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,359 McGUCKET: Back in olden days, 160 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,734 pioneers drew sustenance from telling stories around the fire. 161 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,988 So let's eat some books, children. Go ahead, eat the books! 162 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,867 (GROWLING) 163 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:37,829 All right, Mabel. 164 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,364 If we can prove that Nathaniel Northwest 165 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:43,293 wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it'll finally put Pacifica in her place. 166 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:47,169 And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly! I'm serious. 167 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,966 (MUNCHING) 168 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,502 Serious! 169 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,013 We just need to crack this code. Let me see. 170 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,890 It's not Egyptian. It's not numerology. 171 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,187 It's not... Wait! Of course! 172 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,891 The triangle is the alchemist's symbol for flame. 173 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,810 Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message! 174 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,028 It's so obvious! 175 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,782 All right, let's just light this sucker up, and... Mabel! 176 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,567 Mwop! I just made a hat. 177 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,655 Ugh! I just did something silly again! (BLOWS) 178 00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,995 Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map! 179 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,495 And I was going to burn it. 180 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,423 We were on the lookout for two kids who might be reading. 181 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,466 We're hunting 'em down for secret reasons! 182 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,509 -Whoo! -(BELL TINKLING) 183 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:35,925 Nerp. 184 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,348 Maybe we should take this elsewhere. 185 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,517 The map should lead us to 186 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,272 the Gravity Falls Museum of History. 187 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,145 You realize what this means, Mabel. 188 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,643 We're going to have to break in. 189 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,240 And those are your free Pioneer Day passes, 190 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,443 and your balloons, blue and pink. 191 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,446 We're in. 192 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:05,702 What are we going to do next? Steal Thomas Jefferson's ribcage? 193 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,169 Ew. No. According to the map, 194 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,544 the next clue about the real town founder should be right here! 195 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,550 We have to figure this one out quick. 196 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:18,180 I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books. 197 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,507 I don't think the one with the bell can read. 198 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,016 So what is it, anyway? 199 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:24,970 BOTH: Hmm. 200 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:28,648 Hmm... 201 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,352 Hey, painting! Be less stupid! 202 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,313 -(GASPS) It worked. -Huh? 203 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:40,410 Wait. It's not abstract, it's upside down. 204 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,533 I think I've seen that statue in the cemetery. 205 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,114 Let's go! Quick! 206 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,540 (BOTH GROAN) 207 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,457 Head rush. 208 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,910 I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons. 209 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,962 Why did we even come? 210 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,964 GOVERNMENT AGENT: (OVER RADIO) Officer Blubs. 211 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,251 -Blubs here. -Have the targets been apprehended? 212 00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,840 Negative, but we're close. I promise. Those kids will never get past us! 213 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,553 -(BOTH PANTING) -Hey! Wait! 214 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,218 (BOTH YELP) 215 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,145 Dang it! 216 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:13,773 For the last time, we are not going south for the winter! Our home is here! 217 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,438 You always say that! 218 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,529 Come on. (GRUNTS) 219 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,405 Come on. Argh! 220 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,450 Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this? 221 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,285 Yeah, yeah. What do you want? Money? 222 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:33,543 I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls. 223 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,544 Oh, sure! You want that in writing? 224 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,967 (GRUNTS) Mmm-hmm. 225 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,586 There we go. 226 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,807 -Ha! I did that with my mouth! -(WHISTLES) 227 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,812 Gah! Come on! 228 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,606 DIPPER: Hmm. 229 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,986 The statue must be pointing to the next clue. 230 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,030 Oh, gross, she's picking my nose! (CHUCKLES) 231 00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,198 -(cRAc| 00:11:03,660 Mabel, look! 233 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,200 Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? 234 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,665 Bam! Ah, ow, ow! 235 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:09,742 Okay. 236 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:17,841 Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode! I feel so serious! 237 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,551 (MUNCHING) 238 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,465 Okay, look out for booby traps. 239 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,474 (SNICKERS) Booby traps. 240 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,303 -(THUDS) -(SWISHING) 241 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,897 -Tranquilizer darts! -(SCREAMS) Whoa! 242 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,645 (BOTH PANTING) 243 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,727 (BOTH SCREAMING) 244 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,746 It's a treasure trove of historic-y secret-y things! 245 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:54,621 Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman! 246 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:55,954 Hey, jackpot! 247 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,208 Now we'll find out who the real town founder was. 248 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,512 "Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, 249 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:08,425 "fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was in fact, a fraud! 250 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,721 "As well as a waste-shoveling village idiot?" 251 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,021 (LAUGHS) 252 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:18,276 Oh. Bad news for Pacifica. Wait till the papers hear about this! 253 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,105 Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, 254 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,693 they could never call me silly! 255 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,866 "The true founder of Gravity Falls 256 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,366 "was Sir Lord Quentin Tremble y III, Esq." 257 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:29,784 Who's Quentin Tremble y? 258 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,157 That's none of your business! 259 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:33,620 (BOTH GASP) 260 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,292 -Whoo! We gotcha! -(BELL TINKLING) 261 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,791 Whoa'! Whoo. 262 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,206 (GRUNTS) Whoo-hoo... 263 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,755 He got hit with quite a few of those darts. 264 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:47,506 I hate to do this, but Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security. 265 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,932 Yeah! Whoa... 266 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,805 I think I might be colorblind now. 267 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,352 What do you mean, "national security?" 268 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,639 And who is Quentin Tremble y, anyway? 269 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,064 See for yourself. 270 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,774 MABEL: Ugh! It's black and white! 271 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,197 DIPPER: Shh! Mabel! 272 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,698 If you're watching this, 273 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,447 then you are one of eight people in these United States 274 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,745 with clearance to view this information. 275 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:14,791 In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete. 276 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,998 What, no? (CHUCKLES) Oh, well, that's a relief! 277 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,582 Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing 278 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:22,874 was that of Quentin Tremble y, 279 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,882 the eighth and a half President of the United States. 280 00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,883 -President? -Eighth and a half? 281 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,637 After winning the 1837 election in a landslide, 282 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,641 Quentin Tremble y quickly gained a reputation 283 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,268 as America's silliest president. 284 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,773 He waged war on pancakes, 285 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,771 appointed six babies to the Supreme Court, 286 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,319 and issued the De-pants-apation Proclamation. 287 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,947 His State of the Union speech was even worse. 288 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,741 QUENTIN: The only thing we have to fear 289 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,365 is gigantic man-eating spiders! 290 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,745 NARRATOR: He was kicked out of office 291 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,494 and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, 292 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,451 after plummeting into it at high speed. 293 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,961 Trembley's shameful term was erased from history, 294 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,165 and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President, 295 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:06,877 and local nobody, Nathaniel Northwest, as founder of Gravity Falls. 296 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,172 The whereabouts of President Trembley's body are unknown. 297 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,266 Until now. 298 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,804 Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something? 299 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,606 The fool thought he could live forever 300 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,525 by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. 301 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,773 Smooth move, Mr. President! 302 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,906 Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. 303 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,484 And now, thanks to you, it's complete. 304 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:35,072 Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers! 305 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,328 Oh, silly. 306 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,033 Now that you know the truth, 307 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,120 well, we can't let you go around talking about it. 308 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,830 -Does that mean... -Are you going to kill us? 309 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,006 Oh, no! 310 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,546 Now, now, calm down now, buddy, calm down. 311 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,879 We're just going to escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. 312 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,510 You ain't coming back, by the way. 313 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,391 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 314 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,061 Whoo-hoo! We got fold-out beds. 315 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,060 Good thing I brought my book of spooky ghost stories. 316 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,733 I brought rope for friendship bracelets. 317 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,481 (BOTH GIGGLING) 318 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,980 MABEL: Anyone there? Help, help, help! DIPPER: Hey! Let us out! 319 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,068 (SIGHS) I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. 320 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:17,657 This is all my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along. 321 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,449 I'm just a silly failure 322 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,411 like that embarrassing President Whatshisname. 323 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,128 (MUNCHING) 324 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,755 (CRACKING) 325 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:29,463 (BOTH SCREAM) 326 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,841 It is I! Quentin Tremble y! 327 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,219 You're alive! But how? 328 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,179 Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! 329 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,765 You're not silly. You're brilliant! 330 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,021 And so are you, dear girl. 331 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,774 For following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb! 332 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,948 He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside down. 333 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,776 Your silliness solved a code 334 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,986 that serious cops couldn't crack in 100 years! 335 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,825 Oh, stop it! 336 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:03,543 By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box. 337 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,586 It's a crate, Mr. President! 338 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,792 Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America! 339 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,131 (GRUNTS) 340 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,556 I don't think that's going to work. 341 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,135 Wood! My age-old enemy. 342 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:21,727 In order to get out of here, 343 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:25,148 this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived. 344 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,770 I think I know who can help you. 345 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:28,939 Hmm. 346 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,146 How about that hole? 347 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,067 -We will leap through it! -(BOTH GRUNT) 348 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,744 -QUENTIN: Almost! Almost there. -(MABEL GRUNTS) 349 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,320 Good! Keep pushing! 350 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,489 I'm not sure this is working. 351 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,833 Trust the silliness! 352 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,953 QUENTIN: Fiddlesticks! Keep going! 353 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,589 Is that my third wife? Sandy? 354 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,341 Well, we didn't fit through the hole. 355 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,514 Let's rebuild the box and try again. 356 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,393 -We got to get out of here! -Also good! 357 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,555 Blubs? 358 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,024 (ALL PANTING) 359 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:09,563 ALL: Huh? 360 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,941 QUENTIN: Huh! (GRUNTS) 361 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,066 Gimme that! 362 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:27,001 (BREATHLESSLY) There is no escape. 363 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,122 Let me... I got to take a knee. 364 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,332 Are you okay? Can I get you anything? 365 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:36,215 Edwin Durland, you are a diamond in the rough. 366 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,343 Sheriff Blubs, do you really wanna lock us all up 367 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,300 in a government facility somewhere? 368 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,477 I've got no choice. Our orders come from the very top. 369 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:49,357 Wait! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation? 370 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:53,319 No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window. 371 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:57,900 Then technically, you're still legally the President of the United States! Right? 372 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,952 -You got to answer to this guy now! -BOTH: Huh? 373 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,035 As President of these several United States, 374 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,493 I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. 375 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,378 And go on a delightful vacation! Ow! 376 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:11,913 Yes! 377 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:15,592 Vacation? What place have you always wanted to visit? 378 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:16,922 One, two... 379 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:20,176 BOTH: Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan! 380 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,555 (BOTH GIGGLING) 381 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,260 ' BYe- bye, eve ryo ne! Bye! - BYE! Bye- bye! 382 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,104 You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. 383 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,810 As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. Congressman! 384 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,609 I'm legalizing everything! 385 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,110 -And Roderick. -Uh, actually... 386 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,525 You, dear boy, are on your way to unlocking 387 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,406 the mysteries of this great land. 388 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,910 So, I'd like you to have my President's Key! 389 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,376 And then he chased me around 390 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,955 and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. 391 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:55,131 Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk. 392 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:56,382 Ag reed. 393 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,963 (GIGGLING) 394 00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,218 Uh! 395 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,178 Kick her off the team. 396 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,892 Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy 397 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:10,062 about the eighth and a half President of the United States. Who's silly now? 398 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,185 What? Who is that idiot? 399 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,814 Put up your dukes, you bald fiend! 400 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,319 The eighth and a half President of America! 401 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:18,862 I know what you're thinking. 402 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,489 How is he still alive? 403 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,068 Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle, and... 404 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,027 (LAUGHING) 405 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:29,582 Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way. 406 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,325 -(LAUGHING) -(CHUCKLES) 407 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,626 Good one, daughter! 408 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:37,169 Oh! I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home! 409 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:43,304 Aren't you going to tell her about her ate-gray andpa-gray? 410 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,303 You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove. 411 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,851 I've learned that being silly is awesome! 412 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,021 Well, I haven't learned anything! (WHISTLES) Hey, Pacifica! 413 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,102 (TIRES SCREECH) 414 00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,691 Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, 415 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,194 and your whole family is a sham! Deal with it! 416 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,491 What? Mom! 417 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:11,286 Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome! 418 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:16,622 Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here. 419 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,207 On the negative 12 dollar bill. 420 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:20,758 Whoa! 421 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:23,177 This is worthless. 422 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,971 It's less than worthless, my boy. 423 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,089 Tremble y, aWaY! 424 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:29,551 (WHINNIES) 425 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,637 Where do you think he's going? 426 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,268 I'm going to say off a cliff. 427 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,809 And then Soos came by and talked to me for, like, an hour! 428 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,648 You've been through so much. 429 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,737 -It works! -So what's with the top hat? 430 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,489 -I'm a Congressman! -Pardon me? 431 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,574 You are officially pardoned. 432 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,664 (BOTH LAUGHING) 433 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,959 Oy. You are never going to make sense, are you, kid? 434 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:58,038 No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. 435 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,130 Mabel, awaY! 436 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,129 -(GRUNTS) -(CRASHING) 437 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,630 I'm okay. 438 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:07,134 Esteemed gentlemen of the United States Supreme Court. 439 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,511 I implore you to rethink your decision. 440 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,183 (ALL COOING) 441 00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,681 Very well. But who would you have replace me? 442 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,141 -Mama! -That old crone? 443 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:20,276 (BABBLING) 444 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:24,155 Chief Justice Num-Num, you're spitting up on yourself. Now... 445 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,484 Oh... Oh, come on! This is a courtroom! 446 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,694 -I... This is a... -(BABIES CRYING) 447 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,370 This is a dark day for America. 33574

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