Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:29,885
Hi, I'm Alex.
2
00:00:29,887 --> 00:00:33,187
I play football for the
greatest college in the world,
3
00:00:33,189 --> 00:00:35,324
Blue Mountain State University.
4
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,791
We excel at three things here,
5
00:00:36,793 --> 00:00:39,794
science, social awareness and...
6
00:00:39,796 --> 00:00:41,562
I'm kidding. It's a
straight party school,
7
00:00:41,564 --> 00:00:43,632
no one goes to class here.
8
00:00:43,634 --> 00:00:45,867
This is Sammy, he's my best friend.
9
00:00:45,869 --> 00:00:47,903
That's Donnie, he likes to drink.
10
00:00:47,905 --> 00:00:49,671
Harmon, he likes drugs.
11
00:00:49,673 --> 00:00:51,406
Mary Jo, she's a cheerleader.
12
00:00:51,408 --> 00:00:54,242
This is Larry.
13
00:00:54,244 --> 00:00:55,278
Ah, what can we say about Larry? I
don't know. We'll think about it.
14
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,178
That's our coach. He's legendary.
15
00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:58,547
Oh, and this is Thad.
16
00:00:58,549 --> 00:00:59,480
He was our team captain.
17
00:00:59,482 --> 00:01:01,182
Great football player,
18
00:01:01,184 --> 00:01:02,617
terrible person.
19
00:01:02,619 --> 00:01:04,887
He just graduated and
I couldn't be happier,
20
00:01:04,889 --> 00:01:06,754
because this is my senior year.
21
00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:08,057
Without question,
22
00:01:08,059 --> 00:01:12,128
this is going to be the
greatest year of my life.
23
00:03:24,027 --> 00:03:26,762
They call him the fifty
million dollar man!
24
00:03:26,764 --> 00:03:29,930
Last month was the NFL Draft where Thad
Castle of Blue Mountain State was selected.
25
00:03:29,932 --> 00:03:35,069
Number one overall, a pick that was
widely regarded to be enormously risky.
26
00:03:35,071 --> 00:03:38,039
Now is he the most naturally gifted
linebacker we've seen since Lawrence Taylor?
27
00:03:38,041 --> 00:03:39,741
Yes.
28
00:03:39,743 --> 00:03:42,777
Is he also the least naturally gifted
when it comes to making decisions,
29
00:03:42,779 --> 00:03:44,079
off the field?
30
00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:45,746
An even bigger yes.
31
00:03:45,748 --> 00:03:47,515
I'm Dhani Jones here
with Thad Castle
32
00:03:47,517 --> 00:03:48,550
to discuss his new fame and fortune.
33
00:03:48,552 --> 00:03:50,318
Thad Castle, thanks for being here.
34
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,353
You're welcome for having me.
35
00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:53,488
Thad, let's just get right into it,
36
00:03:53,490 --> 00:03:55,424
multi-million dollar contract.
37
00:03:55,426 --> 00:03:56,692
- Peanuts.
- Fifty million dollar signing bonus.
38
00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:57,793
Peanuts.
39
00:03:57,795 --> 00:03:59,394
Are you calling
fifty million dollars
40
00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:00,561
peanuts?
41
00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:02,496
It's a good start,
42
00:04:02,498 --> 00:04:03,931
but honestly, I expected
to be making billions.
43
00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:05,599
With a "B"?
44
00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:06,535
No.
45
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,970
With a dollar sign.
46
00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:09,537
Thad, what are you gonna
do with all this money?
47
00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:10,639
Probably just...
48
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,140
Make myself happy.
49
00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:14,976
Like the other day, I was
feeling so down. I almost cried.
50
00:04:14,978 --> 00:04:17,378
I went out and bought 97 guns.
51
00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:19,047
I love guns.
52
00:04:19,049 --> 00:04:22,551
I got a pistol, a machine gun,
a Call of Duty gun,
53
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,419
a Halo gun.
54
00:04:24,421 --> 00:04:26,922
And I got a tank.
55
00:04:26,924 --> 00:04:30,294
I got this one gun that just
shoots for 45 seconds, straight.
56
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,996
Oh, also, I bought a zoo.
57
00:04:35,998 --> 00:04:37,965
I got wolves and giraffes,
58
00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:39,600
I got monkeys.
59
00:04:39,602 --> 00:04:41,470
- Mountain lions.
- Woah!
60
00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:43,905
Saber tooth tigers. I mean,
I figure what the hell?
61
00:04:43,907 --> 00:04:45,107
If Matt Damon can buy a zoo,
62
00:04:45,109 --> 00:04:46,508
So can Thad Castle.
63
00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,410
How do you like them apples?
64
00:04:48,412 --> 00:04:50,179
I also got a dinosaur.
65
00:04:50,181 --> 00:04:53,881
It's the, ah, the big monster one
with horns growing out of its face.
66
00:04:53,883 --> 00:04:55,049
A rhinoceros?
67
00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:56,450
What?
68
00:04:56,452 --> 00:04:58,018
With the horn, a rhinoceros.
69
00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:58,886
The dinosaur.
70
00:04:58,888 --> 00:05:00,087
Yeah.
71
00:05:00,089 --> 00:05:01,890
I got one.
72
00:05:01,892 --> 00:05:04,126
Thad, talk to me about Alex Moran.
73
00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:05,994
There's a lot of talk questioning
his ability to lead the...
74
00:05:05,996 --> 00:05:07,828
- Mountain Goat team.
- Oh, ask me about my shoes.
75
00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:09,498
Hey, well, tell me about your shoes.
76
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,866
They're called "Thadinators."
77
00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:12,934
They're like Jordan's, but in mine,
78
00:05:12,936 --> 00:05:14,902
you can run higher and jump faster.
79
00:05:14,904 --> 00:05:18,573
Isn't it a run faster
and jump higher.
80
00:05:18,575 --> 00:05:20,441
We're still working on our slogan.
81
00:05:20,443 --> 00:05:22,176
So which company is
making these shoes?
82
00:05:22,178 --> 00:05:23,677
Uh, mine does...
83
00:05:23,679 --> 00:05:26,481
- Uh, Thad Company.
- Thad Company.
84
00:05:26,483 --> 00:05:28,517
It's the same company
that makes my hats,
85
00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:29,984
and waterproof shirts,
86
00:05:29,986 --> 00:05:31,953
and condoms.
87
00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:34,054
And also the same
company that makes this
88
00:05:34,056 --> 00:05:36,491
Hall of Fame jacket you haven't
even asked me about yet.
89
00:05:36,493 --> 00:05:38,160
Don't you think you should wait
until you get to the Hall of Fame
90
00:05:38,162 --> 00:05:39,760
before you wear a jacket like that?
91
00:05:39,762 --> 00:05:41,128
Oh, yeah. Don't you
think you should wait,
92
00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:43,097
till you get in the Hall of Fame?
93
00:05:43,099 --> 00:05:44,498
Waiting is for pussies.
94
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:45,900
Well, there you have it.
95
00:05:45,902 --> 00:05:48,203
Thad, meet the world...
96
00:05:48,205 --> 00:05:50,037
Hey sloots, say "hi" to the world.
97
00:05:50,039 --> 00:05:52,474
Hey, world.
98
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:55,477
World, meet Thad Castle.
99
00:05:55,479 --> 00:05:57,212
And we're out.
100
00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:59,616
Somebody get my chopper!
101
00:06:03,986 --> 00:06:05,186
Blue 16.
102
00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:07,390
Blue 16.
103
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:19,902
Hey, O'Brien!
104
00:06:19,904 --> 00:06:22,169
I'm pretty sure if that ball was
an STD you would've caught it!
105
00:06:22,171 --> 00:06:23,237
Sorry, coach.
106
00:06:23,239 --> 00:06:24,873
- Good throw.
- Thanks, coach.
107
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,808
Let us go home.
108
00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:28,876
- What? What'd you say?
- Hmm?
109
00:06:28,878 --> 00:06:30,479
- Another? You want me to throw another one?
- No.
110
00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:31,612
- I could throw another one.
- Second team,
111
00:06:31,614 --> 00:06:32,981
get second team in there.
112
00:06:32,983 --> 00:06:35,484
Second team! Let's go, let's go!
113
00:06:35,486 --> 00:06:38,855
Then all at once I was shot out
into the light like a cannon ball.
114
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:43,224
Anyway, that's how I got my kicking
shoe out of that elephant's asshole.
115
00:06:45,895 --> 00:06:46,895
Somebody's got to talk to coach
about these four-hour practices.
116
00:06:46,897 --> 00:06:47,996
This is killing me.
117
00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:49,164
No. We need them.
118
00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:51,933
Season's right around the corner.
119
00:06:51,935 --> 00:06:53,667
I gotta be honest with you guys. It doesn't
matter how much extra practice we have,
120
00:06:53,669 --> 00:06:55,703
we aren't going to do well this year.
121
00:06:55,705 --> 00:06:56,604
We're terrible.
122
00:06:56,606 --> 00:06:58,707
Whoa, we're not gonna be that bad man.
123
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,140
We've got you and your arm,
124
00:07:00,142 --> 00:07:03,277
we've got my kicking leg
and we've got Donnie's...
125
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,013
Hmm-mmm.
126
00:07:06,015 --> 00:07:07,849
- I wanna say muscles?
- That'll work.
127
00:07:07,851 --> 00:07:09,950
But three people can't carry this team.
128
00:07:09,952 --> 00:07:11,953
No. Right now is our time to party.
129
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:13,087
Right now.
130
00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:14,556
It's just...
131
00:07:14,558 --> 00:07:16,157
I mean look at Sammy.
132
00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:17,792
He's been hammered since 10:00 am.
133
00:07:17,794 --> 00:07:19,059
He's doing it right.
134
00:07:19,061 --> 00:07:20,929
Hey, Sammy!
135
00:07:20,931 --> 00:07:23,532
Hi, buddy, how you doing?
136
00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:24,900
I got fucking hammered last night.
137
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:29,905
I don't know what he's saying right now.
138
00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:30,705
- Do you understand that?
- I don't know what he's saying.
139
00:07:30,707 --> 00:07:31,907
He's so hammered.
140
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,275
Sammy.
141
00:07:33,277 --> 00:07:35,643
You're doing it all wrong.
142
00:07:35,645 --> 00:07:37,177
I know you're drunk but you're
fucking it up for all of us.
143
00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:38,345
It's not even me.
144
00:07:38,347 --> 00:07:41,248
It's the fucking goddamn
goat. He's a fucking asshole.
145
00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:43,852
He's a goat. You're a human person.
146
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:44,986
There's no rivalry here.
147
00:07:44,988 --> 00:07:46,054
Ouch!
148
00:07:46,056 --> 00:07:47,321
What the fuck, he just bit me!
149
00:07:47,323 --> 00:07:50,022
He did not just bite you.
150
00:07:50,024 --> 00:07:50,659
Billy would never bite anyone...
151
00:07:50,661 --> 00:07:52,092
- Aw.
- Aw.
152
00:07:52,094 --> 00:07:54,061
He did. He fucking bit me!
153
00:07:54,063 --> 00:07:55,864
Yeah, fucking go pet him,
154
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,566
you little piece of shit!
155
00:07:58,568 --> 00:08:01,070
Okay, coach Summers, round them up.
156
00:08:03,873 --> 00:08:05,640
Round them up, like, here?
157
00:08:05,642 --> 00:08:08,545
Yes, right here! Round them up.
158
00:08:12,349 --> 00:08:14,616
So he said, "At least it
wasn't a reach around."
159
00:08:16,686 --> 00:08:18,986
Ha, ha, ha, ha, okay.
160
00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:21,022
Joke time's over. I need
you guys to round up.
161
00:08:22,191 --> 00:08:23,290
It's too weird.
162
00:08:23,292 --> 00:08:25,326
I'm sorry, it's Coach Summers now.
163
00:08:25,328 --> 00:08:27,195
And I need you guys to round up.
164
00:08:27,197 --> 00:08:29,030
Hey, can I try your hat on?
165
00:08:29,032 --> 00:08:29,864
- I've always wanted to wear...
- No, don't take my hat!
166
00:08:29,866 --> 00:08:31,900
Give me back...
167
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:32,867
- All right, I'll give you your hat back.
- I need my playbook.
168
00:08:32,869 --> 00:08:34,002
- Give me that.
- Hey!
169
00:08:34,004 --> 00:08:36,037
Quit screwing around! Round up!
170
00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:37,605
God!
171
00:08:37,607 --> 00:08:40,108
You don't bone tag your coach!
172
00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:41,276
All right now listen up.
173
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:43,345
You all know the cheerleaders.
174
00:08:43,347 --> 00:08:44,912
They helped me prepare a little cheer.
175
00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:47,715
Especially for you guys.
176
00:08:47,717 --> 00:08:49,318
You ready?
177
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,720
♪ You suck, you suck ♪
178
00:08:52,722 --> 00:08:54,388
♪ You suck today you suck ♪
179
00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:57,926
♪ I wanna fucking kill you
all for wasting all my time ♪
180
00:08:57,928 --> 00:08:59,761
♪ It's the worst
day of my life ♪
181
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:01,229
♪ since my father died ♪
182
00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:02,964
♪ You suck, you suck ♪
183
00:09:02,966 --> 00:09:03,998
♪ You suck and you suck ♪
184
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,001
Oh.
185
00:09:07,203 --> 00:09:09,005
It's kind of catchy.
186
00:09:12,742 --> 00:09:14,175
Great practice today, champ.
187
00:09:14,177 --> 00:09:15,777
Oh, my God,
188
00:09:15,779 --> 00:09:17,878
I do not want to talk about practice.
189
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,181
Yeah, neither do I. I actually need some
advice from you. And it's about a girl.
190
00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:23,084
I've seen the girls you get with, Mary Jo.
191
00:09:23,086 --> 00:09:24,319
I should be taking advice from you.
192
00:09:24,321 --> 00:09:26,388
No, this one's different.
193
00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:29,257
She's not some brainiac
PHD like I usually go for.
194
00:09:29,259 --> 00:09:31,258
- Okay.
- She's dumb as rocks like you usually go for.
195
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:33,094
But she's so fun. It's...
196
00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:34,295
Really nice.
197
00:09:34,297 --> 00:09:36,196
Okay, well, my advice,
198
00:09:36,198 --> 00:09:37,965
you should bring her by the Goat House.
199
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:40,701
That's the advice from
Alex Moran, king of BMS?
200
00:09:40,703 --> 00:09:42,403
- Yes.
- Bring her to a house?
201
00:09:42,405 --> 00:09:44,038
Well, it's not just a house.
202
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,407
- It's just a house.
- It's not just a house.
203
00:09:45,409 --> 00:09:46,941
- It's just a house.
- It worked on you,
204
00:09:46,943 --> 00:09:48,409
freshman year.
205
00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:49,677
Fine.
206
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,879
Maybe it worked on one smart girl.
207
00:09:51,881 --> 00:09:53,114
It's like an aphrodisiac.
208
00:09:53,116 --> 00:09:55,417
It's like oysters or money.
209
00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:57,185
It's magical.
210
00:09:57,187 --> 00:09:59,354
Fine. I'll bring her to the Goat House.
211
00:09:59,356 --> 00:10:02,990
I don't know, maybe I'll finger
her on the lawn or something.
212
00:10:02,992 --> 00:10:05,060
Well, Sammy did just
mow the lawn yesterday.
213
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,795
- So...
- Okay, perfect.
214
00:10:06,797 --> 00:10:08,897
- Skin it here, Alex.
- All right.
215
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,900
- Thanks, dude.
- Ugh!
216
00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,167
Bye.
217
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:20,075
What are you doing here?
218
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,308
It's a...
219
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:24,079
...drug I'm working on.
220
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,715
Figure if I am going to get into the
family drug manufacturing business
221
00:10:26,717 --> 00:10:28,148
after I graduate, I really gotta...
222
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:29,450
Buckle down.
223
00:10:29,452 --> 00:10:30,884
Yeah, yeah. Let me have a hit of that.
224
00:10:30,886 --> 00:10:32,320
Oh!
225
00:10:32,322 --> 00:10:33,388
This isn't for everybody.
226
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:34,922
It's pretty intense.
227
00:10:34,924 --> 00:10:36,858
Alex, what the hell are we doing here man?
228
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:38,826
I have some very important drinking to do.
229
00:10:38,828 --> 00:10:40,829
The coach called a
meeting, he said no booze.
230
00:10:40,831 --> 00:10:42,330
And he's the boss.
231
00:10:42,332 --> 00:10:43,465
That's right, Moran.
232
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:44,998
I am the boss.
233
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,935
This is Dean Oliviar.
234
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,002
Olivares.
235
00:10:48,004 --> 00:10:49,771
Say again.
236
00:10:49,773 --> 00:10:50,872
Olivares!
237
00:10:50,874 --> 00:10:52,340
Whatever.
238
00:10:52,342 --> 00:10:54,075
Anyway he's new here at BMS.
239
00:10:54,077 --> 00:10:55,476
So, I want you to sit there.
240
00:10:55,478 --> 00:10:57,345
And I want you to show him some respect.
241
00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:58,846
And stop making that face.
242
00:10:58,848 --> 00:11:01,749
What? This is just my face.
243
00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:04,284
Well, sorry.
244
00:11:04,286 --> 00:11:06,988
Anyway, Dean the floor is yours.
245
00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:08,989
What is a dean?
246
00:11:10,092 --> 00:11:11,392
Excellent question.
247
00:11:11,394 --> 00:11:14,896
A dean is like a coach.
248
00:11:14,898 --> 00:11:16,064
For the whole university.
249
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,364
You could say
250
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:19,500
that I am the coach
251
00:11:19,502 --> 00:11:21,201
of your coach.
252
00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:22,269
Excuse me are you saying cooch?
253
00:11:22,271 --> 00:11:23,537
Coach, yeah.
254
00:11:23,539 --> 00:11:24,404
That's a cooch.
255
00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:25,507
Like a female.
256
00:11:25,509 --> 00:11:26,774
Coach, coach.
257
00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:28,475
"Coach." He's saying coach.
258
00:11:28,477 --> 00:11:30,277
Oh, coach.
259
00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:31,378
Yeah. Got it.
260
00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:32,513
Way off on that one.
261
00:11:32,515 --> 00:11:34,181
As your coach,
262
00:11:34,183 --> 00:11:36,551
I have a big problem with your behavior.
263
00:11:36,553 --> 00:11:38,787
Twenty-five percent arrest rate.
264
00:11:38,789 --> 00:11:40,421
- Yeah!
- Drinking,
265
00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:43,892
drugs, indecent exposure.
266
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,426
What I find
267
00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:46,927
is a house full of drunkards,
268
00:11:46,929 --> 00:11:48,162
prostitutes, and imbeciles...
269
00:11:48,164 --> 00:11:50,330
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
270
00:11:50,332 --> 00:11:52,300
We are not prostitutes.
271
00:11:52,302 --> 00:11:53,368
Oh.
272
00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:54,469
Mr. Moran.
273
00:11:54,471 --> 00:11:56,271
Hi.
274
00:11:56,273 --> 00:11:58,105
I've heard a lot about you.
275
00:11:58,107 --> 00:11:59,873
- Hey, congrats, man.
- Thanks, guys.
276
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:01,042
The king of Blue Mountain State.
277
00:12:01,044 --> 00:12:02,310
The king of Blue Mountain State.
278
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,978
I wouldn't say that.
279
00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:06,446
Well I got news for you, Mr. Moran.
280
00:12:06,448 --> 00:12:08,248
Your kingdom,
281
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:09,383
has a new ruler.
282
00:12:09,385 --> 00:12:11,252
Me!
283
00:12:11,254 --> 00:12:12,452
I thought you were the cooch?
284
00:12:12,454 --> 00:12:15,056
I heard that the first time.
285
00:12:15,058 --> 00:12:16,157
You better makeup your mind.
286
00:12:16,159 --> 00:12:18,560
I'm the coach.
287
00:12:18,562 --> 00:12:22,330
But I'm going to be king just as soon
as I storm your castle, Mr. Moran.
288
00:12:22,332 --> 00:12:23,864
You're gonna bang Alex?
289
00:12:23,866 --> 00:12:25,300
What?
290
00:12:25,302 --> 00:12:26,868
I'm not comfortable with that.
291
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,503
Why would you want to do that?
292
00:12:28,505 --> 00:12:30,338
He's not banging anybody!
293
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:31,940
Now, shut up!
294
00:12:31,942 --> 00:12:33,441
Yeah, uh...
295
00:12:33,443 --> 00:12:35,409
What I mean to say,
296
00:12:35,411 --> 00:12:37,612
Saturday at midnight,
297
00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:39,214
Blue Mountain State,
298
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,915
will seize this...
299
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,216
Goat House,
300
00:12:42,218 --> 00:12:43,618
and auction it to the highest bidder.
301
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:45,519
What?
302
00:12:45,521 --> 00:12:48,288
That you understand, don't you?
303
00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,291
You can't take the Goat House.
304
00:12:50,293 --> 00:12:51,325
Oh, I can.
305
00:12:51,327 --> 00:12:53,961
I can.
306
00:12:53,963 --> 00:12:57,865
This house of filth and lawlessness
is no longer yours to rule.
307
00:12:57,867 --> 00:13:00,567
Now if you'll excuse me.
308
00:13:00,569 --> 00:13:03,171
I have other students that I need to
309
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:05,440
coach.
310
00:13:08,978 --> 00:13:10,378
Shit. Okay, all right.
311
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,579
Okay, okay.
312
00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:12,946
Coach, coach,
313
00:13:12,948 --> 00:13:14,349
you can't let this happen.
314
00:13:14,351 --> 00:13:16,884
Next year is my senior year.
315
00:13:16,886 --> 00:13:19,253
If the team sucks, this
house is all I have.
316
00:13:19,255 --> 00:13:22,958
Well, then you better make
sure that the team doesn't suck.
317
00:13:24,327 --> 00:13:25,926
Just gonna have a beer,
318
00:13:25,928 --> 00:13:28,495
we're gonna have a beer and just relax.
319
00:13:28,497 --> 00:13:31,099
Too much shit has happened
here, we can't let it go.
320
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:34,134
I waited three years for
this house to be mine.
321
00:13:34,136 --> 00:13:36,271
Now I'm not letting some smug prick
322
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,538
walk up in here and take it from me.
323
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:40,675
No. What we need is a plan.
324
00:13:40,677 --> 00:13:42,377
Prostitutes. We'll become prostitutes,
325
00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:43,912
sell our bodies, make some money.
326
00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,312
We're definitely not doing a hunger strike.
327
00:13:45,314 --> 00:13:47,215
Oh, I'm having a brainstorm.
328
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,117
We kill the dean!
329
00:13:50,953 --> 00:13:53,053
No.
330
00:13:53,055 --> 00:13:55,556
We kill the Dean's family and
make it look like he did it.
331
00:13:57,226 --> 00:13:59,027
- That's a great one.
- No, guys.
332
00:13:59,029 --> 00:14:01,528
We're not killing anybody, okay?
333
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,096
What we need is some quick cash.
334
00:14:03,098 --> 00:14:04,465
Now let's think about this.
335
00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:06,633
Who would be dumb enough
336
00:14:06,635 --> 00:14:10,405
to spend hundreds of thousands
of dollars to buy this house?
337
00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:16,210
What the hell is this shit?
338
00:14:16,212 --> 00:14:18,312
Did I not tell this prick chef,
339
00:14:18,314 --> 00:14:20,080
medium-rare well?
340
00:14:20,082 --> 00:14:21,548
I heard you say it.
You definitely told him.
341
00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:23,450
And you call this bearnaise sauce?
342
00:14:23,452 --> 00:14:25,320
I'm appalled right now!
343
00:14:30,193 --> 00:14:32,060
Somebody tell that Chef
344
00:14:32,062 --> 00:14:34,262
I want a ham, with veal in
it, and crab legs sticking out.
345
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,431
I'm paying $12,000 for it,
346
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:41,002
so it better taste like $12,000!
347
00:14:41,004 --> 00:14:42,269
Hey, Thad.
348
00:14:42,271 --> 00:14:43,271
I was just won...
349
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:45,406
Yep, there it is. Okay, hi.
350
00:14:45,408 --> 00:14:48,142
I'm Alex. What's your name? Seriously?
351
00:14:48,144 --> 00:14:49,009
He's clean.
352
00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:50,644
Hair.
353
00:14:50,646 --> 00:14:51,713
Clean.
354
00:14:51,715 --> 00:14:53,114
- Balls.
- What?
355
00:14:53,116 --> 00:14:55,516
Ah, what the...
356
00:14:55,518 --> 00:14:57,218
- Clean.
- Yeah.
357
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,220
- I, uh, I just...
- Hey! Whoa, whoa!
358
00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:01,422
Whoa!
359
00:15:01,424 --> 00:15:02,757
Do you want me to put the...
360
00:15:02,759 --> 00:15:04,658
Put it on.
361
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:06,127
Who is this guy?
362
00:15:06,129 --> 00:15:07,228
This is Dick Dawg.
363
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,428
He's my security guy.
364
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,163
And my cousin.
365
00:15:10,165 --> 00:15:11,999
And, um, like my butler sometimes.
366
00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:13,633
That's Dawg with a "W-G" motherfucker.
367
00:15:13,635 --> 00:15:15,103
- Ah.
- Suck my dick,
368
00:15:15,105 --> 00:15:16,537
you bowtie-wearing piece of shit!
369
00:15:16,539 --> 00:15:17,672
Oh!
370
00:15:17,674 --> 00:15:20,340
Oh!
371
00:15:20,342 --> 00:15:22,744
Oh, man. Nice work, Dick Dawg,
372
00:15:22,746 --> 00:15:24,378
- write yourself a check.
- Fuck yeah!
373
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:26,480
You're wearing one too. You put this on me.
374
00:15:26,482 --> 00:15:29,182
Yeah and he'll do it
again, if I tell him to!
375
00:15:29,184 --> 00:15:31,319
I could dress you in bow ties for
the next thirty years if I want.
376
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,519
Don't think I got the money?
377
00:15:32,521 --> 00:15:34,122
Read a newspaper.
378
00:15:34,124 --> 00:15:35,723
Don't got a subscription to a newspaper?
379
00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:36,824
I could buy you that too.
380
00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:39,793
Reading is fundamentional,
you giant bag of dicks.
381
00:15:42,564 --> 00:15:44,599
Amazing! Write yourself another check.
382
00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:45,667
All right.
383
00:15:45,669 --> 00:15:48,802
I'm starting to see the
family resemblance here.
384
00:15:48,804 --> 00:15:51,305
Sit down before I friggin lose my mind!
385
00:15:51,307 --> 00:15:55,209
Um, I guess, I'll just get to it then.
386
00:15:55,211 --> 00:15:56,244
Um...
387
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,579
Um...
388
00:15:58,581 --> 00:16:00,715
Fucking say it.
389
00:16:00,717 --> 00:16:03,718
The Dean is selling the Goat House.
390
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,187
And I was just thinking that
now that you're super rich,
391
00:16:07,189 --> 00:16:09,523
and famous that you could
maybe you could buy the house
392
00:16:09,525 --> 00:16:11,191
and give it to me.
393
00:16:11,193 --> 00:16:12,225
Hey, you wanna see something funny, Moran?
394
00:16:12,227 --> 00:16:14,228
Watch this.
395
00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:17,264
Whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
396
00:16:17,266 --> 00:16:19,466
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap...
397
00:16:19,468 --> 00:16:21,369
It's so fun, you have to try it Moran.
398
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,237
- Do you know what, I'm good thanks.
- Whap, whap, whap.
399
00:16:23,239 --> 00:16:25,773
Fine. Suit yourself, God.
400
00:16:25,775 --> 00:16:27,374
So, the Goat House then? Hmm?
401
00:16:27,376 --> 00:16:28,843
Why would I buy the Goat House?
402
00:16:28,845 --> 00:16:30,610
Because it used to be yours.
403
00:16:30,612 --> 00:16:32,680
We had a lot of good times there, Thad!
404
00:16:32,682 --> 00:16:34,315
We can't let the Dean take it away.
405
00:16:34,317 --> 00:16:36,249
The past is the past, Moran.
406
00:16:36,251 --> 00:16:38,219
- I don't have time to think about BMS.
- Okay.
407
00:16:38,221 --> 00:16:39,686
I've got better things to do now.
408
00:16:39,688 --> 00:16:41,122
Bigger things.
409
00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:42,255
Huge things.
410
00:16:42,257 --> 00:16:43,324
Enormous things.
411
00:16:43,326 --> 00:16:44,524
Gigantic things.
412
00:16:44,526 --> 00:16:46,494
Infinity things.
413
00:16:46,496 --> 00:16:47,561
Uh... Why did I not think of that?
414
00:16:47,563 --> 00:16:49,162
Write me a check to myself.
415
00:16:49,164 --> 00:16:51,431
Please, Thad,
416
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:53,635
you're my only hope.
417
00:16:55,871 --> 00:16:57,604
Okay,
418
00:16:57,606 --> 00:16:59,574
you really talked me into it, Moran.
419
00:16:59,576 --> 00:17:00,841
So, here's what I'm willing to do.
420
00:17:02,245 --> 00:17:03,710
Aw!
421
00:17:03,712 --> 00:17:06,446
I'm on a fucking roll right now.
422
00:17:07,851 --> 00:17:09,117
What the...
423
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:10,184
You throw me this party?
424
00:17:10,186 --> 00:17:11,252
The fuck!
425
00:17:11,254 --> 00:17:14,187
And I'll help you out.
426
00:17:14,189 --> 00:17:16,590
Thadland?
427
00:17:16,592 --> 00:17:19,627
I came up with the idea when I was 10.
428
00:17:19,629 --> 00:17:21,795
I wished for a party that was...
429
00:17:21,797 --> 00:17:25,800
Bigger than any party the
world had ever seen before.
430
00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:30,504
A party full of wonder,
and dreams, and titties!
431
00:17:30,506 --> 00:17:34,708
A place where I could celebrate
going pro and being a billionaire.
432
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:37,177
And I called that place...
433
00:17:37,179 --> 00:17:40,248
"Thadland."
434
00:17:42,518 --> 00:17:43,717
I only have $50,000,000 so far,
435
00:17:43,719 --> 00:17:44,886
but it'll have to do.
436
00:17:44,888 --> 00:17:46,521
Okay.
437
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,223
Why can't you just throw
this party yourself?
438
00:17:49,225 --> 00:17:50,358
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
439
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,425
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah
440
00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:52,526
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
441
00:17:52,528 --> 00:17:53,660
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
442
00:17:53,662 --> 00:17:55,562
Because that would be tacky.
443
00:17:55,564 --> 00:17:56,664
Here's your veal.
444
00:17:56,666 --> 00:17:59,332
- Stuffed ham with crab legs.
- Whoa!
445
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,502
Look, I, I...
446
00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:03,603
I just don't think that
this is gonna be possible.
447
00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:04,906
Well, that's my offer.
448
00:18:04,908 --> 00:18:06,374
Do it and I'll help you out.
449
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,841
Don't do it,
450
00:18:07,843 --> 00:18:09,276
and I won't.
451
00:18:09,278 --> 00:18:11,478
Now get out!
452
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,648
I never want to see your handsome
face in here again. Get out!
453
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:17,451
And where the hell are my meatballs?
454
00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:19,689
This is insane!
455
00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:25,292
I mean, it's doable but
it's all pretty screwed up.
456
00:18:25,294 --> 00:18:27,695
- Is, is that a unicorn shitting a rainbow?
- Yeah.
457
00:18:27,697 --> 00:18:29,397
That's not a horn coming out of its head,
458
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,564
that's a dildo.
459
00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:33,900
So it's a dildocorn.
460
00:18:33,902 --> 00:18:35,302
But yes, it is shitting a rainbow.
461
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:36,803
Okay, guys look,
462
00:18:36,805 --> 00:18:38,738
I have been thinking a lot about this.
463
00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:40,808
Throwing this party is
not going to be that bad.
464
00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:43,578
Thad and I were really started hitting
it off before he left school last year.
465
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,312
I'm in. I'm doing this.
466
00:18:45,314 --> 00:18:46,480
Nice.
467
00:18:46,482 --> 00:18:48,749
Screw it. I'm in too.
468
00:18:48,751 --> 00:18:51,651
Gentlemen, before we
get ahead of ourselves,
469
00:18:51,653 --> 00:18:55,990
I'd like to remind you, all the man
we'd be inviting back into this house.
470
00:18:55,992 --> 00:19:00,561
You are the very same man who viscously
burned down a field of my weed,
471
00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:02,830
just so he could get God high.
472
00:19:02,832 --> 00:19:05,499
I understand where you're
coming from, Harmon.
473
00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:06,900
Trust me,
474
00:19:06,902 --> 00:19:11,371
there is no other way
to save the Goat House.
475
00:19:11,373 --> 00:19:12,540
All right,
476
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,341
- you are the king.
- Huh?
477
00:19:14,343 --> 00:19:15,609
- So you're in?
- I'm in!
478
00:19:15,611 --> 00:19:17,344
- Yes!
- So, we're doing this.
479
00:19:17,346 --> 00:19:18,213
- All right, we are.
- All right.
480
00:19:18,215 --> 00:19:20,947
Bring it in. Thadland on three, baby.
481
00:19:20,949 --> 00:19:22,015
Let's go, baby.
482
00:19:22,017 --> 00:19:23,451
One, two, three.
483
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,454
Thadland!
484
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:35,029
You guys have any clue what the hell
is going on, on this last page here?
485
00:19:35,031 --> 00:19:36,664
You think he wants to fly?
486
00:19:36,666 --> 00:19:38,599
- No. It's a metaphor.
- Yeah.
487
00:19:38,601 --> 00:19:39,899
He wants to get so high
488
00:19:39,901 --> 00:19:41,369
it feels like he's flying.
489
00:19:41,371 --> 00:19:43,603
No. He's a plane.
490
00:19:43,605 --> 00:19:46,374
I had a dream the other
night that I was a plane,
491
00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:48,576
and I crashed and burned.
492
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:51,311
But then I woke up and I realized
493
00:19:51,313 --> 00:19:56,449
that my bed was just on fire because
I fell asleep with a lit cigarette.
494
00:19:56,451 --> 00:19:57,917
Um, I'm sorry.
495
00:19:57,919 --> 00:19:59,986
Where did you come from?
496
00:19:59,988 --> 00:20:01,621
Heaven.
497
00:20:01,623 --> 00:20:03,823
Oh, this is your friend!
498
00:20:03,825 --> 00:20:05,859
Right, well, welcome to the Goat House!
499
00:20:05,861 --> 00:20:07,661
It's magical.
500
00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:09,863
Yeah. I can feel it.
501
00:20:09,865 --> 00:20:11,799
Like, the magic.
502
00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:13,333
Right.
503
00:20:13,335 --> 00:20:15,602
And I like the magic here too.
504
00:20:15,604 --> 00:20:16,771
Yeah, they just cut the grass.
505
00:20:16,773 --> 00:20:18,039
Oh.
506
00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:20,308
Uh, so... We're...
507
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:22,042
We're throwing a party this weekend.
508
00:20:22,044 --> 00:20:23,444
You should come.
509
00:20:23,446 --> 00:20:24,645
I'll be there.
510
00:20:24,647 --> 00:20:27,348
Oh, good.
511
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,349
Yeah, we'll be there.
512
00:20:29,351 --> 00:20:30,784
Skin it.
513
00:20:31,853 --> 00:20:33,053
Okay.
514
00:20:33,055 --> 00:20:36,958
All right. Oh! Ha!
515
00:20:48,103 --> 00:20:49,969
Yeah, it's me.
516
00:20:49,971 --> 00:20:51,738
Sammy, how do I look?
517
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:53,707
- Wow, I love that suit.
- Yeah?
518
00:20:53,709 --> 00:20:55,475
It looks just like the one Thad drew.
519
00:20:55,477 --> 00:20:57,778
Hey, if he drew it, we're
gonna make it happen.
520
00:20:57,780 --> 00:20:59,946
I don't want to give him any
reason not to buy us this house.
521
00:20:59,948 --> 00:21:01,648
All right?
522
00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:03,751
Guys, I'm beginning to
think Thad's not coming.
523
00:21:03,753 --> 00:21:05,653
Oh, he's coming.
524
00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:07,723
I know it.
525
00:21:08,791 --> 00:21:09,956
What the hell is that sound?
526
00:21:09,958 --> 00:21:12,361
Is that a...
527
00:21:16,498 --> 00:21:18,099
Is that a fucking hovercraft?
528
00:21:18,101 --> 00:21:20,969
He's here! He's here!
529
00:21:34,816 --> 00:21:38,785
Hey, Thad.
530
00:21:38,787 --> 00:21:41,722
You're hand's on a $30,000
coat right now, Moran.
531
00:21:41,724 --> 00:21:43,993
Hey, cool suit, ass wipe.
532
00:21:45,128 --> 00:21:46,093
Hilarious.
533
00:21:46,095 --> 00:21:48,963
You're the one who told
me wear... Never mind.
534
00:21:48,965 --> 00:21:50,430
You remember the guys right?
535
00:21:50,432 --> 00:21:53,032
- Donnie.
- Hey, buddy.
536
00:21:53,034 --> 00:21:54,834
Oh, Thad.
537
00:21:54,836 --> 00:21:57,670
It's so great to see you,
thanks for coming by here!
538
00:21:57,672 --> 00:21:59,639
Who are you?
539
00:21:59,641 --> 00:22:01,074
Sammy!
540
00:22:01,076 --> 00:22:03,977
You know you used to call
me Mascot, or houseboy!
541
00:22:03,979 --> 00:22:06,647
I wore the goat suit! I'd go,
"Go team, go." I was out there.
542
00:22:06,649 --> 00:22:08,448
There was someone in that thing?
543
00:22:08,450 --> 00:22:10,917
Hey, back off.
544
00:22:10,919 --> 00:22:12,119
Oh, no, it's okay I'm
just talking to my friend.
545
00:22:12,121 --> 00:22:13,587
Oh, your friend?
546
00:22:13,589 --> 00:22:14,855
I don't think he knows you man.
547
00:22:14,857 --> 00:22:16,557
Well...
548
00:22:16,559 --> 00:22:17,625
I don't know you.
549
00:22:17,627 --> 00:22:19,459
- I've never met you.
- I have.
550
00:22:19,461 --> 00:22:20,160
I just don't remember you.
551
00:22:20,162 --> 00:22:21,962
I don't think so.
552
00:22:21,964 --> 00:22:22,795
I have met you, your
face isn't ringing a bell.
553
00:22:22,797 --> 00:22:24,197
I've never met you in my life bro.
554
00:22:24,199 --> 00:22:26,000
Okay. Thad.
555
00:22:26,002 --> 00:22:27,967
Are you ready?
556
00:22:27,969 --> 00:22:29,536
I drew this thing when I was 10.
557
00:22:29,538 --> 00:22:33,474
I've been waiting for...
558
00:22:33,476 --> 00:22:35,542
Thirteen. Thirteen years.
559
00:22:35,544 --> 00:22:36,976
I was gonna say that.
560
00:22:36,978 --> 00:22:40,513
All right then, let's
just step right up here.
561
00:22:40,515 --> 00:22:42,882
Welcome
562
00:22:42,884 --> 00:22:45,586
to Thadland.
563
00:22:53,228 --> 00:22:55,430
I...
564
00:23:19,688 --> 00:23:21,522
Fifty-four strains of marijuana?
565
00:23:21,524 --> 00:23:25,026
Yep. And all the most
expensive in the world.
566
00:23:36,171 --> 00:23:37,871
Cocaine!
567
00:23:37,873 --> 00:23:39,673
United Nations of cocaine.
568
00:23:39,675 --> 00:23:41,809
Purest strains from around the world.
569
00:23:41,811 --> 00:23:43,644
Tested each one personally.
570
00:23:43,646 --> 00:23:45,279
Just one rule about the cocaine room.
571
00:23:45,281 --> 00:23:49,015
Guys, don't die.
572
00:23:49,017 --> 00:23:51,118
Or do, who gives a shit. More coke for me!
573
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:52,719
Boobie bomb!
574
00:23:52,721 --> 00:23:54,956
Oh!
575
00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:04,467
Yeah, baby!
576
00:24:15,777 --> 00:24:17,176
Booze room.
577
00:24:17,178 --> 00:24:18,745
Every kind of booze ever?
578
00:24:18,747 --> 00:24:20,813
Yep, just pull a tap.
579
00:24:20,815 --> 00:24:22,750
Woo!
580
00:24:22,752 --> 00:24:25,886
My ass is getting pounded tonight!
581
00:24:25,888 --> 00:24:27,721
Hammered. Your ass is getting hammered.
582
00:24:27,723 --> 00:24:29,924
Tomato, potato, bro beans.
583
00:24:29,926 --> 00:24:31,559
Is the champagne from France?
584
00:24:31,561 --> 00:24:33,293
Nope. California.
585
00:24:33,295 --> 00:24:36,597
Good. Everything good comes from America.
586
00:24:36,599 --> 00:24:39,132
France can suck my balls!
587
00:24:47,043 --> 00:24:48,676
And here we have...
588
00:24:48,678 --> 00:24:50,779
Mojito hot tub!
589
00:24:58,053 --> 00:24:59,854
Well?
590
00:25:00,922 --> 00:25:03,057
It's perfect, Moran!
591
00:25:03,059 --> 00:25:04,291
Horny? Grab a sloot!
592
00:25:04,293 --> 00:25:06,292
Thirsty? Grab a mojito!
593
00:25:06,294 --> 00:25:09,031
I'm, I'm good thanks.
594
00:25:14,769 --> 00:25:16,203
You haven't even seen the best part yet!
595
00:25:16,205 --> 00:25:17,870
I wanna see.
596
00:25:17,872 --> 00:25:18,906
- Do you wanna see the best part?
- Yeah.
597
00:25:18,908 --> 00:25:20,976
Let's go see the best part.
598
00:25:41,263 --> 00:25:43,796
I can't believe I drew this.
599
00:25:43,798 --> 00:25:46,099
I'm a frigging genius!
600
00:25:46,101 --> 00:25:50,103
And your most genius invention
is coming, my humble friend.
601
00:25:51,873 --> 00:25:52,973
In Thadland,
602
00:25:52,975 --> 00:25:56,312
it always snows cocaine.
603
00:26:16,064 --> 00:26:18,965
So? Thad?
604
00:26:18,967 --> 00:26:21,201
What do you have to say?
605
00:26:21,203 --> 00:26:23,606
What do I have to say?
606
00:26:27,043 --> 00:26:28,809
Fuck you Walt Disney,
607
00:26:28,811 --> 00:26:31,244
you unimaginative piece of shit!
608
00:26:31,246 --> 00:26:34,982
This is Thadland!
609
00:28:44,412 --> 00:28:46,079
Hey, Thad, going to a butcher,
610
00:28:46,081 --> 00:28:47,380
ask your friends for opinions.
611
00:28:47,382 --> 00:28:50,017
Like which of those sloots I'd bang?
612
00:29:24,553 --> 00:29:26,522
That's it guys, get him
the hell out of here.
613
00:29:35,163 --> 00:29:36,597
Goat fans have spoken.
614
00:29:36,599 --> 00:29:40,202
They want Marty Daniels
out. And in other news...
615
00:29:43,104 --> 00:29:44,571
Forget them.
616
00:29:44,573 --> 00:29:46,372
You guys are gonna be fine this year.
617
00:29:46,374 --> 00:29:48,942
Plus, you're not that old.
618
00:29:48,944 --> 00:29:52,247
I lost my virginity the day Kennedy died.
619
00:29:55,450 --> 00:29:56,550
One more, please.
620
00:29:56,552 --> 00:29:58,886
Coming right up.
621
00:29:58,888 --> 00:30:00,620
I think you're amazing.
622
00:30:00,622 --> 00:30:03,023
I mean, with everything
that you've been through,
623
00:30:03,025 --> 00:30:04,558
the lawsuits,
624
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,961
and losing Thad Castle and
Craig Shilo and Radon Randell
625
00:30:07,963 --> 00:30:09,529
and still winning.
626
00:30:09,531 --> 00:30:10,964
We should be building your statue,
627
00:30:10,966 --> 00:30:13,534
not bitching about your age.
628
00:30:15,371 --> 00:30:18,407
Would you like to take
a ride on my motorcycle?
629
00:30:27,082 --> 00:30:28,581
Ahhh. Mmm.
630
00:30:28,583 --> 00:30:30,384
Mmm.
631
00:30:51,306 --> 00:30:53,608
Oh, fuck me!
632
00:31:08,023 --> 00:31:09,222
Alex!
633
00:31:09,224 --> 00:31:11,291
Hey! What's up?
634
00:31:11,293 --> 00:31:13,961
- Alex, so good to see you.
- You too.
635
00:31:13,963 --> 00:31:16,163
This party is bonkers!
636
00:31:16,165 --> 00:31:18,732
I just did a half hour in
the bath-salt bubble room.
637
00:31:18,734 --> 00:31:20,734
I bit like seven people!
638
00:31:20,736 --> 00:31:22,535
Working it!
639
00:31:22,537 --> 00:31:24,737
Congrats! Hey, come with me,
640
00:31:24,739 --> 00:31:25,606
I wanna show you around!
641
00:31:25,608 --> 00:31:28,007
Okay. Oh, I wanna show you my nipples.
642
00:31:28,009 --> 00:31:29,176
Oh, okay.
643
00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:31,246
Coming.
644
00:31:49,163 --> 00:31:50,230
Locked and loaded, Sir.
645
00:31:50,232 --> 00:31:53,199
Oh, sweet.
646
00:31:53,201 --> 00:31:54,568
Hey, everybody!
647
00:31:54,570 --> 00:31:55,635
Open your mouths!
648
00:31:55,637 --> 00:31:58,170
Free drugs!
649
00:31:58,172 --> 00:32:02,208
Ahhh! My face! Oh, God damn it. My face!
650
00:32:02,210 --> 00:32:03,342
That's why we have medics!
651
00:32:03,344 --> 00:32:04,444
Go see a medic!
652
00:32:04,446 --> 00:32:05,678
Help.
653
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,481
Cocaine!
654
00:32:12,053 --> 00:32:14,454
Hey, welcome back.
655
00:32:14,456 --> 00:32:16,156
Coach?
656
00:32:18,293 --> 00:32:20,659
I just wanted to stop by and
congratulate you on everything.
657
00:32:20,661 --> 00:32:22,228
And we're really proud of you.
658
00:32:22,230 --> 00:32:24,398
Oh, yeah!
659
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,465
What happened to you?
660
00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:27,434
Oh, I hit a pothole.
661
00:32:27,436 --> 00:32:29,101
I was riding my motorcycle.
662
00:32:29,103 --> 00:32:31,038
And, everything's fine, I'm
okay, everything's great.
663
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,372
Yeah! Yeah! Me too!
664
00:32:33,374 --> 00:32:35,476
Never been better!
665
00:32:37,713 --> 00:32:39,713
We should hangout sometime.
666
00:32:39,715 --> 00:32:41,548
Definitely. We definitely gotta do that.
667
00:32:41,550 --> 00:32:43,485
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah. Yeah.
668
00:32:46,321 --> 00:32:47,387
- Don't go. Don't go.
- I miss you.
669
00:32:47,389 --> 00:32:48,487
- What?
- Huh?
670
00:32:48,489 --> 00:32:50,256
Oh, no. I thought I...
671
00:32:50,258 --> 00:32:51,457
- No. No. No. No. Hey uh...
- Oh, wait...
672
00:32:51,459 --> 00:32:52,158
I... No, I thought you were
gonna say something else.
673
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,761
No, no, no. Hey, have fun.
674
00:32:54,763 --> 00:32:56,062
Take care of yourself.
675
00:32:56,064 --> 00:32:57,464
Oh, yeah, yeah.
676
00:32:57,466 --> 00:32:59,265
Keep training, you look good.
677
00:32:59,267 --> 00:33:01,201
Oh, yeah. You look great too, coach.
678
00:33:01,203 --> 00:33:03,637
Very handsome.
679
00:33:03,639 --> 00:33:05,605
Hey, Thad. Hey, man. Hey, uh...
680
00:33:05,607 --> 00:33:07,573
Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad,
681
00:33:07,575 --> 00:33:07,907
we've got, we've got
bit of a situation, dude.
682
00:33:07,909 --> 00:33:11,078
Hit me!
683
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,178
What the hell was that?
684
00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:13,280
You said, "Hit me."
685
00:33:13,282 --> 00:33:15,282
- What the... What?
- I'm sorry.
686
00:33:15,284 --> 00:33:17,117
Okay, look, I don't know
what was going on here,
687
00:33:17,119 --> 00:33:18,017
but we're running out of drugs.
688
00:33:18,019 --> 00:33:20,219
The party's running out of drugs, man.
689
00:33:20,221 --> 00:33:21,455
- How the hell did that happen?
- I don't know. I don't know.
690
00:33:21,457 --> 00:33:23,557
Free drugs!
691
00:33:23,559 --> 00:33:25,292
It makes no sense to me, man.
692
00:33:25,294 --> 00:33:26,859
Because thousands of people are here, okay?
693
00:33:26,861 --> 00:33:27,628
I mean, half the cocaine was
reserved for the carnivals.
694
00:33:27,630 --> 00:33:29,196
But, I mean, that was reserved.
695
00:33:29,198 --> 00:33:30,296
It's called the reserve for a reason.
696
00:33:30,298 --> 00:33:31,798
We need that for the carnival snow.
697
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:32,365
Sorry, I'm talking so fast.
I'm just really freaking out,
698
00:33:32,367 --> 00:33:34,301
we need that cocaine.
699
00:33:34,303 --> 00:33:36,403
Well, go get Alex to get
more drugs and fix it! God!
700
00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:39,473
Hey, I already bought all the
drugs east of the Mississippi,
701
00:33:39,475 --> 00:33:41,808
there's no more drugs to buy.
702
00:33:41,810 --> 00:33:43,109
That's not true.
703
00:33:43,111 --> 00:33:45,344
- We've got drugs.
- Who are you?
704
00:33:45,346 --> 00:33:47,414
What? I'm...
705
00:33:47,416 --> 00:33:48,715
I'm the...
706
00:33:48,717 --> 00:33:49,782
I...
707
00:33:49,784 --> 00:33:51,283
You know what? It doesn't matter.
708
00:33:51,285 --> 00:33:54,753
Doesn't matter. What
maters is, you need drugs,
709
00:33:54,755 --> 00:33:56,490
Harmon and I have some.
710
00:33:56,492 --> 00:33:58,224
Real premium shit too.
711
00:33:58,226 --> 00:33:59,559
- Amazing.
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
712
00:33:59,561 --> 00:34:01,427
I don't think that's a good idea.
713
00:34:01,429 --> 00:34:03,129
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
714
00:34:03,131 --> 00:34:04,563
No, no, no, no, no, no.
715
00:34:04,565 --> 00:34:06,233
No, no, no, no, no, no.
716
00:34:06,235 --> 00:34:07,001
No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
717
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:07,801
You idiots go get free drugs,
718
00:34:07,803 --> 00:34:09,836
you'll be my best friends for life.
719
00:34:09,838 --> 00:34:12,238
- Well sorry, I can't.
- No, no, no. You know what? Done!
720
00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:13,673
- Consider it done. Yeah, yeah we got this.
- No, I'm not.
721
00:34:13,675 --> 00:34:15,307
Thank you so much, we'll get this buddy.
722
00:34:15,309 --> 00:34:16,542
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I trust this guy.
723
00:34:16,544 --> 00:34:18,445
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too, me too, me too.
724
00:34:18,447 --> 00:34:21,247
I told you it's a bad idea, man.
725
00:34:21,249 --> 00:34:23,383
How much more of this shit
do we have to put up with?
726
00:34:23,385 --> 00:34:24,617
What shit?
727
00:34:24,619 --> 00:34:27,521
The titty-whapping, the groping.
728
00:34:27,523 --> 00:34:29,689
I mean, sure, it's paying for my doctorate
729
00:34:29,691 --> 00:34:32,358
in applied physics, but I don't
know if I can keep doing this.
730
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,428
You're in this for the money?
731
00:34:35,430 --> 00:34:38,400
You gold digging bitch!
732
00:34:39,501 --> 00:34:41,501
I love Thad.
733
00:34:41,503 --> 00:34:44,106
I love him!
734
00:34:47,508 --> 00:34:50,577
I wouldn't drink that if I were you.
735
00:34:50,579 --> 00:34:52,678
Why not silly bear? It's free booze.
736
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,615
I can think of a reason.
737
00:34:56,617 --> 00:35:00,253
- Whoops!
- Whoa, there it is! I know.
738
00:35:00,255 --> 00:35:01,954
- Whoa, there it is!
- I've got your wiener.
739
00:35:01,956 --> 00:35:04,524
- I know.
- Alex! Hi.
740
00:35:04,526 --> 00:35:06,926
Hi. I just saw a woman deep throat a 40.
741
00:35:06,928 --> 00:35:11,830
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm, a full 40. You should go find her.
742
00:35:11,832 --> 00:35:16,369
I am going to go find her and Sammy.
743
00:35:16,371 --> 00:35:17,570
Have you seen Sammy?
744
00:35:17,572 --> 00:35:19,405
No, he's not in the tub.
745
00:35:19,407 --> 00:35:21,941
This is true. I'm gonna go find Sammy.
746
00:35:21,943 --> 00:35:23,943
Bye. Bye.
747
00:35:23,945 --> 00:35:26,680
- Don't touch that.
- Why not?
748
00:35:29,418 --> 00:35:32,586
Oh, this is awesome! How long
has this been down here for?
749
00:35:32,588 --> 00:35:34,387
Built it my freshman year.
750
00:35:34,389 --> 00:35:37,823
It's nothing compared to my
cousin Dennis' set up back home.
751
00:35:37,825 --> 00:35:39,559
Holy shit, what is this,
like steel or something?
752
00:35:39,561 --> 00:35:40,827
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't touch that.
753
00:35:40,829 --> 00:35:43,796
Don't breath on it, don't even look at it.
754
00:35:43,798 --> 00:35:45,365
My cousin Dennis blew up his trailer
755
00:35:45,367 --> 00:35:47,666
just by sneezing on a tank.
756
00:35:47,668 --> 00:35:50,937
Oh, man, that means it
must be powerful. Yes!
757
00:35:50,939 --> 00:35:52,872
Thad is gonna love this then
he's gonna remember my name!
758
00:35:52,874 --> 00:35:54,474
Oh, yes!
759
00:35:54,476 --> 00:35:57,309
Hey look at me. This
isn't a typical drug, okay.
760
00:35:57,311 --> 00:35:59,278
It's highly unstable.
761
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,247
Yeah, well, I'm highly
unstable too, my friend.
762
00:36:01,249 --> 00:36:02,881
That's why I brought Billy.
763
00:36:02,883 --> 00:36:05,452
I figure, you know,
764
00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:06,620
test it on him first,
765
00:36:06,622 --> 00:36:08,523
see if he can handle it.
766
00:36:09,925 --> 00:36:11,758
Animal testing, Sammy?
767
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,459
Once again, not a good idea.
768
00:36:13,461 --> 00:36:15,629
You know what? It's fine.
769
00:36:15,631 --> 00:36:17,030
Billy's a little fucking asshole.
770
00:36:17,032 --> 00:36:18,865
So whatever happens to him, happens to him.
771
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,340
Oh, yeah. Look at his eyes.
772
00:36:27,342 --> 00:36:29,408
Oh, he's loving this.
773
00:36:29,410 --> 00:36:30,843
You like that, Billy?
774
00:36:30,845 --> 00:36:33,546
Huh? "Oh, no. I can't handle my drugs."
775
00:36:33,548 --> 00:36:36,283
"I can't handle my drugs."
776
00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:43,525
There you go. Get your balloons here!
777
00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:45,725
Hey, man, I really think we should have
778
00:36:45,727 --> 00:36:47,394
gone with a lower dose.
779
00:36:47,396 --> 00:36:49,729
Dude, relax, okay? Billy's fine.
780
00:36:49,731 --> 00:36:53,432
We're all good. Oh, shit, there's Thad.
781
00:36:53,434 --> 00:36:55,401
Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad. Listen.
782
00:36:55,403 --> 00:36:57,771
Uh, here's the drug I
was telling you about.
783
00:36:57,773 --> 00:36:58,838
- This?
- Yeah, yeah.
784
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,506
Just suck on it, you'll love it.
785
00:37:00,508 --> 00:37:01,441
This better be good.
786
00:37:01,443 --> 00:37:03,445
Oh, it will be.
787
00:37:12,688 --> 00:37:15,588
I'll devour your soul!
788
00:37:22,097 --> 00:37:23,662
It's perfect.
789
00:37:23,664 --> 00:37:24,898
Dick Dawg, write this guy a check.
790
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:26,599
Oh. No, no, no need for payment.
791
00:37:26,601 --> 00:37:28,501
I, uh... All I need from you is, uh...
792
00:37:28,503 --> 00:37:29,635
Fiendship. Just, you know,
793
00:37:29,637 --> 00:37:31,672
remember what my name and stuff.
794
00:37:33,108 --> 00:37:35,742
How about a hot sloot instead?
795
00:37:35,744 --> 00:37:37,910
Well, that'll work. Yeah. It's good.
796
00:37:37,912 --> 00:37:39,845
Tina!
797
00:37:39,847 --> 00:37:41,780
Tina. Hey.
798
00:37:41,782 --> 00:37:44,818
Tina, this is...
799
00:37:44,820 --> 00:37:45,885
Sammy.
800
00:37:45,887 --> 00:37:47,954
And, uh...
801
00:37:47,956 --> 00:37:50,023
- Sammy.
- This is Tina.
802
00:37:50,025 --> 00:37:53,827
Uh, Tina, would you mind showing, uh...
803
00:37:54,863 --> 00:37:56,463
Sammy.
804
00:37:56,465 --> 00:37:57,564
Upstairs and showing him a good time?
805
00:37:57,566 --> 00:37:58,532
Okay.
806
00:37:58,534 --> 00:38:00,966
- Thank you so much. Thank you. Ahhh!
- Let's go!
807
00:38:00,968 --> 00:38:02,836
Ahhh! Thank you so much, Thad!
808
00:38:02,838 --> 00:38:05,974
- I really appreciate.
- Thank you, Tina! You're the best!
809
00:38:09,945 --> 00:38:12,745
Oh, lets go look at the pretty white pony
810
00:38:12,747 --> 00:38:15,481
with the golden horn.
811
00:38:15,483 --> 00:38:17,550
Let's do that, huh?
812
00:38:17,552 --> 00:38:21,153
- Want one?
- No, thanks.
813
00:38:21,155 --> 00:38:23,990
Hey, don't worry about her,
okay? It's just a thing.
814
00:38:23,992 --> 00:38:26,760
Just a thing? I invited her tonight
815
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:29,062
to specifically turn her into a dyke.
816
00:38:29,064 --> 00:38:30,296
And he can't keep his hands off her.
817
00:38:30,298 --> 00:38:34,600
Dude, come on. You're not
mad at him, you're mad at her.
818
00:38:34,602 --> 00:38:36,870
She's taking Alex away from you.
819
00:38:36,872 --> 00:38:40,039
This so reminds me of my dad.
820
00:38:40,041 --> 00:38:41,408
Um.
821
00:38:41,410 --> 00:38:42,809
He loved horses.
822
00:38:42,811 --> 00:38:44,144
Oh, okay.
823
00:38:44,146 --> 00:38:45,644
I don't know what you think is going on
824
00:38:45,646 --> 00:38:48,715
between me and Alex, but I like pussy.
825
00:38:48,717 --> 00:38:51,084
No, no. I love pussy.
826
00:38:51,086 --> 00:38:54,620
Yeah, I love pussy!
827
00:38:54,622 --> 00:38:56,523
- Woo-hoo!
- Woo!
828
00:38:56,525 --> 00:38:57,791
Yeah, but before that you didn't.
829
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:59,158
And you were into Alex.
830
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:00,559
And you know what,
831
00:39:00,561 --> 00:39:02,061
I don't think you're gay.
832
00:39:02,063 --> 00:39:03,162
You're college gay.
833
00:39:03,164 --> 00:39:04,963
Which is totally different.
834
00:39:04,965 --> 00:39:06,499
You're just killing time with women.
835
00:39:06,501 --> 00:39:09,202
Okay, now I am offended. Yeah.
836
00:39:09,204 --> 00:39:10,937
You are offending me right now.
837
00:39:10,939 --> 00:39:14,541
What makes you think you know
the first thing about my gayness?
838
00:39:14,543 --> 00:39:17,042
Well. I'm gay.
839
00:39:17,044 --> 00:39:18,678
What?
840
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,580
- Since when?
- Since forever.
841
00:39:21,582 --> 00:39:22,981
I just never say anything about it
842
00:39:22,983 --> 00:39:24,883
because no one ever asks. But yeah...
843
00:39:24,885 --> 00:39:26,688
I'm gay.
844
00:39:28,789 --> 00:39:31,191
- No way.
- Awesome.
845
00:39:31,193 --> 00:39:34,093
Thad. Thad, it's not a big deal, okay?
846
00:39:34,095 --> 00:39:36,195
It's a personal thing
and I'd really appreciate
847
00:39:36,197 --> 00:39:37,564
if we could keep it that way.
848
00:39:37,566 --> 00:39:41,501
Donnie, absolutely.
849
00:39:41,503 --> 00:39:43,635
- Totally agree.
- Thank you.
850
00:39:43,637 --> 00:39:45,171
Hey, Everybody!
851
00:39:45,173 --> 00:39:46,840
Donnie's gay!
852
00:39:49,778 --> 00:39:52,812
Hey. Seriously, man. Congratulations, dude.
853
00:39:52,814 --> 00:39:55,481
You're gonna get so much dick.
854
00:39:55,483 --> 00:39:57,149
Hey, Harmon. Donnie's a gay guy!
855
00:39:57,151 --> 00:39:59,586
I know that.
856
00:39:59,588 --> 00:40:02,921
Again, Thad, it's never been a big deal.
857
00:40:02,923 --> 00:40:04,256
Let's keep it that way. Okay?
858
00:40:04,258 --> 00:40:06,559
How's this for not a big deal?
859
00:40:06,561 --> 00:40:08,495
I'm gonna buy you a car, you brave bastard.
860
00:40:08,497 --> 00:40:10,162
Dick Dawg, write this gay guy a check!
861
00:40:10,164 --> 00:40:12,199
Fuck yeah!
862
00:40:14,168 --> 00:40:16,035
It's for the whole gay thing, man.
863
00:40:16,037 --> 00:40:17,704
Congrats.
864
00:40:17,706 --> 00:40:20,573
I'm gonna shove so many things up your ass.
865
00:40:20,575 --> 00:40:22,008
Let me put it to you this way,
866
00:40:22,010 --> 00:40:24,711
you can drive a fucking Cadillac up there,
867
00:40:24,713 --> 00:40:27,713
just as long as I get to
have sex with you after.
868
00:40:27,715 --> 00:40:29,215
Wow. Um...
869
00:40:29,217 --> 00:40:31,149
There's the pool stick
downstairs, I could try it.
870
00:40:31,151 --> 00:40:33,086
Uh, yeah. That sounds great.
871
00:40:33,088 --> 00:40:34,387
Why don't you give me
another hit and then run that
872
00:40:34,389 --> 00:40:36,523
cute little butt of yours
downstairs and grab it. Okay?
873
00:40:36,525 --> 00:40:38,559
Okay.
874
00:40:41,530 --> 00:40:43,598
Mmm.
875
00:40:44,798 --> 00:40:46,832
I'll be right back.
876
00:40:46,834 --> 00:40:50,135
Oh, yes. Go!
877
00:40:50,137 --> 00:40:52,805
Tina, I love you.
878
00:40:52,807 --> 00:40:55,173
Sammy, we're gonna need more balloons.
879
00:40:55,175 --> 00:40:58,912
You're right, people are going nuts for...
880
00:41:10,892 --> 00:41:12,694
Billy!
881
00:41:21,102 --> 00:41:24,506
Oh, shit!
882
00:41:25,673 --> 00:41:29,076
Oh, shit!
883
00:41:33,314 --> 00:41:36,282
Thad, thank you so much
for this opportunity.
884
00:41:36,284 --> 00:41:37,649
Leave the lot to me.
885
00:41:37,651 --> 00:41:38,718
Thank you so much.
886
00:41:39,787 --> 00:41:40,986
Tina!
887
00:41:40,988 --> 00:41:42,789
Tina, is that you?
888
00:41:49,965 --> 00:41:51,597
Okay, well, I hear walking,
889
00:41:51,599 --> 00:41:52,798
I wanna hear some running, okay?
890
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,601
Get over here, Tina.
891
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,240
Whoa.
892
00:42:01,242 --> 00:42:02,841
Uh, all right.
893
00:42:02,843 --> 00:42:04,910
All right.
894
00:42:04,912 --> 00:42:07,245
Oh! Wow! Wow!
895
00:42:07,247 --> 00:42:09,048
That felt very nice.
896
00:42:09,050 --> 00:42:11,184
You are a dirty girl, Tina. Dirty girl.
897
00:42:16,256 --> 00:42:18,124
Oh, go easy...
898
00:42:18,126 --> 00:42:20,026
Go easy...
899
00:42:20,028 --> 00:42:21,093
Easy...
900
00:42:21,095 --> 00:42:22,294
Nice and slow.
901
00:42:22,296 --> 00:42:25,198
All right, finish it up so I
can have sex with you, okay?
902
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,733
Sammy! I'm ready if you are!
903
00:42:29,137 --> 00:42:30,303
Tina!
904
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:34,707
Billy! Bad Billy!
905
00:42:34,709 --> 00:42:36,175
That's a bad goat.
906
00:42:36,177 --> 00:42:38,044
Bad goat, Billy!
907
00:42:38,046 --> 00:42:40,979
Bad goat, Billy! Bad goat!
908
00:42:49,323 --> 00:42:50,557
Hey, everybody! Listen up.
909
00:42:50,559 --> 00:42:52,791
I have a very important
announcement to make.
910
00:42:55,095 --> 00:42:56,928
Donnie Schrab is gay!
911
00:43:00,001 --> 00:43:01,667
Not a big deal everybody.
912
00:43:01,669 --> 00:43:02,602
So you know,
913
00:43:02,604 --> 00:43:04,671
I don't know, buy him a drink...
914
00:43:04,673 --> 00:43:07,073
Or if you're a guy, suck
his dick or whatever.
915
00:43:07,075 --> 00:43:08,140
But it's great.
916
00:43:08,142 --> 00:43:09,977
Let's party!
917
00:43:12,079 --> 00:43:14,847
Hey, are you feeling a little
overshadowed by all this?
918
00:43:14,849 --> 00:43:16,349
I mean, a cheerleader comes out as gay
919
00:43:16,351 --> 00:43:17,816
and no one bats an eye.
920
00:43:17,818 --> 00:43:18,450
But when a football player does,
921
00:43:18,452 --> 00:43:20,787
suddenly he's the hero?
922
00:43:22,157 --> 00:43:25,358
Mary Jo, wait!
923
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,959
Do you have any blueberry waffles
924
00:43:26,961 --> 00:43:30,098
because I'm super-duper
starving right now.
925
00:43:31,265 --> 00:43:33,066
Is that a yes?
926
00:43:33,068 --> 00:43:34,733
Mary Jo! Ah...
927
00:43:36,738 --> 00:43:39,140
Oh, shit. The auction!
928
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:42,140
Where did he...
929
00:43:42,142 --> 00:43:43,276
- Thad!
- Billy!
930
00:43:43,278 --> 00:43:45,311
Billy!
931
00:43:45,313 --> 00:43:47,245
Oh, hey, Sammy, Sammy.
932
00:43:47,247 --> 00:43:49,282
- Have you seen Billy?
- Nope. I have not seen Billy.
933
00:43:49,284 --> 00:43:51,416
And those balloons, not good.
934
00:43:51,418 --> 00:43:53,151
Yeah I told you that. You okay?
935
00:43:53,153 --> 00:43:54,486
Me? Totally fine.
936
00:43:54,488 --> 00:43:55,821
Never been better, never been better.
937
00:43:55,823 --> 00:43:58,358
There we go. Oh, there we go.
938
00:44:08,001 --> 00:44:11,037
Officer. We're going
to shut this party down.
939
00:44:11,039 --> 00:44:12,338
I'm sorry, Dean, mate. I can't let you in.
940
00:44:12,340 --> 00:44:14,907
Thad Castle and Alex Moran
made a very significant donation
941
00:44:14,909 --> 00:44:16,508
to our benevolent fund.
942
00:44:16,510 --> 00:44:18,910
They specifically asked that
we not let you into the house.
943
00:44:18,912 --> 00:44:21,213
Fine! They want to play like that?
944
00:44:21,215 --> 00:44:22,381
We sell this house
945
00:44:22,383 --> 00:44:24,850
right here, right now!
946
00:44:24,852 --> 00:44:29,088
Auctioneer, bidders, right now.
947
00:44:29,090 --> 00:44:31,990
Thad!
948
00:44:31,992 --> 00:44:34,260
Thad!
949
00:44:34,262 --> 00:44:37,129
Thad!
950
00:44:38,767 --> 00:44:40,432
Round and round he goes!
951
00:44:40,434 --> 00:44:44,903
Where he stops nobody knows!
952
00:44:44,905 --> 00:44:46,972
Okay, Barbara, you have
to take a Jell-O shot
953
00:44:46,974 --> 00:44:49,108
and make out with Jeanine for five seconds.
954
00:44:49,110 --> 00:44:50,876
Okay.
955
00:44:50,878 --> 00:44:52,477
Oh, my god!
956
00:44:52,479 --> 00:44:55,782
- Oh, my God!
- Thad!
957
00:44:55,784 --> 00:44:57,383
Okay. Thad, it's midnight, okay?
958
00:44:57,385 --> 00:44:58,483
The auction is happening right now.
959
00:44:58,485 --> 00:45:00,153
- We need to go.
- Uh...
960
00:45:00,155 --> 00:45:01,787
We're playing spin the Thad-dle,
961
00:45:01,789 --> 00:45:03,488
- page twenty-one of the book.
- I know what it is!
962
00:45:03,490 --> 00:45:04,923
I'm the one who set it up for you,
963
00:45:04,925 --> 00:45:06,258
- like I said I would.
- Okay, great!
964
00:45:06,260 --> 00:45:08,294
So you know how important this is to me.
965
00:45:08,296 --> 00:45:10,428
Spin me!
966
00:45:10,430 --> 00:45:13,566
Yay!
967
00:45:13,568 --> 00:45:15,501
Thad, saving the Goat House
968
00:45:15,503 --> 00:45:17,236
- is the whole reason I agreed to throw this party
- Oh, my gosh!
969
00:45:17,238 --> 00:45:18,937
- in the first place.
- I can't take this anymore.
970
00:45:18,939 --> 00:45:20,439
We don't have time for this, Moran!
971
00:45:20,441 --> 00:45:23,408
Debbie, do a line of coke
off Nancy's knockers and...
972
00:45:23,410 --> 00:45:25,111
- Spin me!
- No, no, no.
973
00:45:25,113 --> 00:45:26,579
Don't spin, don't spin.
974
00:45:26,581 --> 00:45:28,948
Yay!
975
00:45:28,950 --> 00:45:33,119
Never stop spinning me!
976
00:45:33,121 --> 00:45:34,452
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming.
977
00:45:34,454 --> 00:45:35,521
We're putting up for auction
978
00:45:35,523 --> 00:45:37,088
this piece of real estate.
979
00:45:37,090 --> 00:45:40,425
We'll start the bidding at $150,000.
980
00:45:40,427 --> 00:45:42,294
Do I hear $150,000?
981
00:45:42,296 --> 00:45:45,564
One-fifty right here.
Looking for 175, 175.
982
00:45:45,566 --> 00:45:48,267
Do I hear 200? Do I hear two?
983
00:45:48,269 --> 00:45:49,936
$200,000.
984
00:45:51,238 --> 00:45:53,305
Your reign here is over, Mr. Moran.
985
00:45:53,307 --> 00:45:55,106
It's best to step away gracefully.
986
00:45:55,108 --> 00:45:57,475
We have 240 right here. Looking for 250.
987
00:45:57,477 --> 00:45:59,111
240,000 going once...
988
00:45:59,113 --> 00:46:00,412
Shit!
989
00:46:00,414 --> 00:46:03,115
240,000 going twice...
990
00:46:03,117 --> 00:46:05,952
Three million!
991
00:46:05,954 --> 00:46:09,120
Son, the current bid is $240,000.
992
00:46:09,122 --> 00:46:11,057
Oh...
993
00:46:11,059 --> 00:46:14,961
Maybe you should make it three
and a half million dollars.
994
00:46:14,963 --> 00:46:18,030
Okay, $3.5 million going once...
995
00:46:18,032 --> 00:46:19,231
Four million dollars!
996
00:46:19,233 --> 00:46:21,600
Thad, you don't have to outbid yourself.
997
00:46:21,602 --> 00:46:24,070
- Five million dollars!
- Oh, my God.
998
00:46:24,072 --> 00:46:26,571
Fine, $5,000,000 going once,
999
00:46:26,573 --> 00:46:29,508
$5,000,000 going twice.
1000
00:46:29,510 --> 00:46:32,979
Oh, yeah! Yeah, nice try.
1001
00:46:32,981 --> 00:46:35,280
I'd have to be a real idiot
to pay more than $5,000,000
1002
00:46:35,282 --> 00:46:37,550
for this piece of shit house.
1003
00:46:37,552 --> 00:46:40,119
Sold for $5,000,000.
1004
00:46:40,121 --> 00:46:42,954
To the oiled up man in
the white, furry slippers.
1005
00:46:42,956 --> 00:46:44,624
- Woo-hoo!
- They cannot do that!
1006
00:46:44,626 --> 00:46:46,892
- They can't do this.
- He bid for it fair and square.
1007
00:46:46,894 --> 00:46:49,028
Oh, sorry, Deany.
1008
00:46:49,030 --> 00:46:51,664
This castle is very well protected.
1009
00:46:51,666 --> 00:46:55,468
Officer, would you escort the
Dean off of my property, please.
1010
00:46:55,470 --> 00:46:56,669
You don't know who you're
messing with, Moran.
1011
00:46:56,671 --> 00:46:58,470
- All right, let's go.
- I will bring the thunder!
1012
00:46:58,472 --> 00:46:59,671
And you, Daniels!
1013
00:46:59,673 --> 00:47:02,541
Daniels! I come for you next!
1014
00:47:02,543 --> 00:47:04,142
I know what really happened.
1015
00:47:06,180 --> 00:47:08,079
You're a drunk!
1016
00:47:08,081 --> 00:47:11,383
All right. Everybody back inside.
1017
00:47:11,385 --> 00:47:13,486
Let's party!
1018
00:47:13,488 --> 00:47:15,254
Oh, my God!
1019
00:47:15,256 --> 00:47:17,055
I did it!
1020
00:47:17,057 --> 00:47:21,094
Oh! I finally got my Goat House back!
1021
00:47:22,329 --> 00:47:23,495
What did you just say?
1022
00:47:23,497 --> 00:47:24,664
Hmm?
1023
00:47:24,666 --> 00:47:26,131
Oh, thank you.
1024
00:47:26,133 --> 00:47:28,367
You really helped me out here, man.
1025
00:47:28,369 --> 00:47:30,169
I got my Goat House back.
1026
00:47:30,171 --> 00:47:31,637
Your house?
1027
00:47:31,639 --> 00:47:34,039
Yeah.
1028
00:47:34,041 --> 00:47:36,508
God...
1029
00:47:36,510 --> 00:47:38,510
This has never been about me, has it?
1030
00:47:38,512 --> 00:47:41,314
It's always been about you.
1031
00:47:41,316 --> 00:47:45,017
Alex Moran this. Alex Moran that.
1032
00:47:45,019 --> 00:47:46,551
Well, guess what, Moran,
1033
00:47:46,553 --> 00:47:48,889
newsflash.
1034
00:47:53,394 --> 00:47:56,195
Newsflash.
1035
00:47:56,197 --> 00:47:58,097
Dick Dawg.
1036
00:47:58,099 --> 00:48:00,566
Escort this selfish jerk off my property.
1037
00:48:00,568 --> 00:48:02,501
- What?
- Then write yourself a check.
1038
00:48:02,503 --> 00:48:03,702
Fuck yeah!
1039
00:48:03,704 --> 00:48:05,338
Hey, Thad! You can't do this.
1040
00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:06,671
You can't kick me out of my own house.
1041
00:48:06,673 --> 00:48:09,509
It's not your house anymore, cock tease!
1042
00:48:24,258 --> 00:48:25,691
All right!
1043
00:48:25,693 --> 00:48:27,559
First one to bring me a mojito
1044
00:48:27,561 --> 00:48:30,162
wins a whap session in
the ham sandwich room!
1045
00:48:52,787 --> 00:48:54,419
- Hey, man, balloon?
- Thank you.
1046
00:48:54,421 --> 00:48:56,354
I invited you here,
1047
00:48:56,356 --> 00:48:58,591
you said yes, so why aren't we hanging out?
1048
00:48:58,593 --> 00:49:00,258
Wait, I'm confused.
1049
00:49:00,260 --> 00:49:03,028
Do you or do you not have blueberry waffles
1050
00:49:03,030 --> 00:49:04,329
because I'm starving.
1051
00:49:04,331 --> 00:49:06,064
- Hey!
- No.
1052
00:49:06,066 --> 00:49:07,100
- What?
- Get out of here.
1053
00:49:07,102 --> 00:49:09,068
- No.
- You're not invited into this conversation.
1054
00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:11,303
Okay. I think I get
why you're pissed at me,
1055
00:49:11,305 --> 00:49:12,704
but Holly is not gay.
1056
00:49:12,706 --> 00:49:14,640
And you can't turn her gay.
1057
00:49:14,642 --> 00:49:17,575
- Is that right?
- Yeah, that's right.
1058
00:49:17,577 --> 00:49:19,980
Did you know you can eat bark?
1059
00:49:27,354 --> 00:49:31,524
Whoa! Your tongue is bonkers.
1060
00:49:31,526 --> 00:49:33,494
All right.
1061
00:49:39,099 --> 00:49:40,499
All right.
1062
00:49:40,501 --> 00:49:42,334
Okay. There it is.
1063
00:49:42,336 --> 00:49:44,236
Alex, your lips are sick.
1064
00:49:44,238 --> 00:49:45,805
Thank you.
1065
00:49:45,807 --> 00:49:48,009
Hmm?
1066
00:49:55,115 --> 00:49:58,617
Your tongue really is bonkers.
1067
00:49:58,619 --> 00:50:01,155
Why didn't I remember...
1068
00:50:03,157 --> 00:50:05,292
Why didn't you remember what?
1069
00:50:08,095 --> 00:50:10,296
Holy shitballs.
1070
00:50:10,298 --> 00:50:12,566
Are you guys...
1071
00:50:14,235 --> 00:50:16,167
Fuck a duck.
1072
00:50:16,169 --> 00:50:16,869
Alex.
1073
00:50:16,871 --> 00:50:18,370
Hmm?
1074
00:50:18,372 --> 00:50:20,872
Why didn't we ever talk about it?
1075
00:50:20,874 --> 00:50:24,109
We hooked up, it was good and then...
1076
00:50:24,111 --> 00:50:26,611
I... I liked you.
1077
00:50:26,613 --> 00:50:28,280
But you said that you were gay.
1078
00:50:28,282 --> 00:50:30,282
I was a sophomore.
1079
00:50:30,284 --> 00:50:32,184
That's what sophomore girls do.
1080
00:50:32,186 --> 00:50:34,519
Freshman year we're drunk and slutty.
1081
00:50:34,521 --> 00:50:37,222
Sophomore year we experiment
with our sexuality.
1082
00:50:37,224 --> 00:50:38,557
Junior year we start caring about school,
1083
00:50:38,559 --> 00:50:40,459
and senior year anything goes.
1084
00:50:40,461 --> 00:50:43,229
It's called the college experience.
1085
00:50:43,231 --> 00:50:44,597
This is my last year of college.
1086
00:50:44,599 --> 00:50:47,566
And I can't...
1087
00:50:47,568 --> 00:50:49,135
I can't have a girlfriend.
1088
00:50:49,137 --> 00:50:51,403
And you shouldn't.
1089
00:50:51,405 --> 00:50:53,905
But if you do...
1090
00:50:53,907 --> 00:50:56,309
It should be me.
1091
00:50:59,713 --> 00:51:01,213
Oh, my God.
1092
00:51:01,215 --> 00:51:03,483
Are we all gonna do it?
1093
00:51:51,731 --> 00:51:53,832
What is going on here?
1094
00:51:53,834 --> 00:51:56,470
I think they're trying to fuck.
1095
00:52:08,282 --> 00:52:10,548
So... What's going on here?
1096
00:52:10,550 --> 00:52:14,986
I think these guys are trying to fuck
1097
00:52:14,988 --> 00:52:17,689
and those guys are talking about it.
1098
00:52:20,227 --> 00:52:22,229
Beer's inside?
1099
00:52:40,814 --> 00:52:42,580
Houseboy!
1100
00:52:42,582 --> 00:52:45,919
Get your ass in here, houseboy!
1101
00:52:48,356 --> 00:52:50,289
Houseboy!
1102
00:52:50,291 --> 00:52:53,992
I need more olives for
my martini, god damn it!
1103
00:52:53,994 --> 00:52:55,361
Thad?
1104
00:52:55,363 --> 00:52:56,928
He can't hear you.
1105
00:52:56,930 --> 00:52:58,763
Why not?
1106
00:52:58,765 --> 00:53:00,865
You're looking at 15 years in the future.
1107
00:53:03,704 --> 00:53:05,537
You're serious?
1108
00:53:05,539 --> 00:53:06,671
Fifteen years in the future
1109
00:53:06,673 --> 00:53:08,439
Thad is living in the Goat House?
1110
00:53:08,441 --> 00:53:09,941
Oh, no, he never left.
1111
00:53:09,943 --> 00:53:12,278
You know, uh, Thadland became Thad World
1112
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,379
and, uh, he's been here ever since.
1113
00:53:13,381 --> 00:53:15,381
Houseboy!
1114
00:53:15,383 --> 00:53:16,481
And you're living with him?
1115
00:53:16,483 --> 00:53:17,816
Me? Oh, no, no, no.
1116
00:53:17,818 --> 00:53:20,486
I am long gone. Long gone.
1117
00:53:20,488 --> 00:53:22,488
I, uh, I died at Thadland.
1118
00:53:22,490 --> 00:53:23,888
Fell off the ferris wheel jerking off.
1119
00:53:23,890 --> 00:53:26,758
- You died?
- Houseboy!
1120
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:29,662
Wait, then who's houseboy?
1121
00:53:29,664 --> 00:53:32,030
Sorry, bro-beans. I was
polishing your trophies.
1122
00:53:32,032 --> 00:53:34,733
Also, your car is washed,
1123
00:53:34,735 --> 00:53:36,334
your laundry's done,
1124
00:53:36,336 --> 00:53:37,436
and your chrome pocket pussy
1125
00:53:37,438 --> 00:53:39,905
is all buffed up and ready to go.
1126
00:53:39,907 --> 00:53:41,472
No way.
1127
00:53:41,474 --> 00:53:44,376
- Yeah. Yeah, and you're fat, too.
- What?
1128
00:53:44,378 --> 00:53:46,544
No, no, no. No way that is happening.
1129
00:53:46,546 --> 00:53:49,515
You made this happen. You should be pumped!
1130
00:53:49,517 --> 00:53:51,550
I mean, yes, you sacrificed
everything that was good in your life
1131
00:53:51,552 --> 00:53:52,617
along the way
1132
00:53:52,619 --> 00:53:53,986
but you got your Goat House
1133
00:53:53,988 --> 00:53:56,490
and you and Thad are happy living here.
1134
00:54:00,660 --> 00:54:02,827
What, what about, what about Mary Jo?
1135
00:54:02,829 --> 00:54:04,430
She, uh, she couldn't wait around.
1136
00:54:06,666 --> 00:54:07,899
I'm real sorry I got in the way
1137
00:54:07,901 --> 00:54:08,966
of your sneeze there, boss.
1138
00:54:08,968 --> 00:54:09,834
That's bullshit.
1139
00:54:09,836 --> 00:54:12,070
No. You want to know what's bullshit?
1140
00:54:12,072 --> 00:54:13,705
Toilet duty in heaven.
1141
00:54:13,707 --> 00:54:15,740
Jesus says if I don't
clean the toilets by 6:00,
1142
00:54:15,742 --> 00:54:17,343
he's gonna give me a spanking.
1143
00:54:17,345 --> 00:54:18,910
Jesus spanks you?
1144
00:54:18,912 --> 00:54:19,711
Well, it's more like a tickling thing,
1145
00:54:19,713 --> 00:54:21,412
but either way I just don't like it.
1146
00:54:21,414 --> 00:54:22,414
See you around, pal.
1147
00:54:22,416 --> 00:54:24,682
Houseboy, my hemorrhoid needs cleaning!
1148
00:54:24,684 --> 00:54:27,352
Wait, Sammy!
1149
00:54:27,354 --> 00:54:28,653
We got to fix this.
1150
00:54:28,655 --> 00:54:29,787
You're on your own.
1151
00:54:29,789 --> 00:54:31,523
I don't want to get spanked.
1152
00:54:31,525 --> 00:54:32,557
Sammy!
1153
00:54:32,559 --> 00:54:33,624
Coming, Jesus!
1154
00:54:33,626 --> 00:54:35,928
Sammy! Sammy!
1155
00:54:48,409 --> 00:54:50,611
What the fuck?
1156
00:54:52,813 --> 00:54:55,481
Sammy!
1157
00:54:55,483 --> 00:54:57,785
Mary Jo?
1158
00:55:02,122 --> 00:55:05,023
Hey!
1159
00:55:05,025 --> 00:55:07,792
Hey! Yes!
1160
00:55:07,794 --> 00:55:10,662
Thank you so much for stopping.
1161
00:55:10,664 --> 00:55:11,829
Shilo?
1162
00:55:11,831 --> 00:55:14,932
Ooh! Alex Moran.
1163
00:55:14,934 --> 00:55:16,033
What the hell are you doing out here, man?
1164
00:55:16,035 --> 00:55:17,102
You look nuts.
1165
00:55:17,104 --> 00:55:18,704
It's a long story, man.
1166
00:55:18,706 --> 00:55:20,905
Where are we? I gotta get
back to the Goat House.
1167
00:55:20,907 --> 00:55:21,840
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's where I'm going!
1168
00:55:21,842 --> 00:55:23,841
Hop in, man. To Thadland!
1169
00:55:23,843 --> 00:55:25,577
I can't believe you guys didn't invite me!
1170
00:55:25,579 --> 00:55:26,979
- Thadland?
- Mmm-hmm.
1171
00:55:26,981 --> 00:55:28,981
That was last night. It's over.
1172
00:55:28,983 --> 00:55:30,816
Oh, no, no, no.
1173
00:55:30,818 --> 00:55:32,517
I've been seeing the
commercials all weekend long.
1174
00:55:32,519 --> 00:55:35,454
- Commercials?
- Biggest, baddest party of all time.
1175
00:55:35,456 --> 00:55:37,155
They've got games and rides
1176
00:55:37,157 --> 00:55:39,024
and a contest for the best abs.
1177
00:55:39,026 --> 00:55:41,593
Now let me ask you.
1178
00:55:41,595 --> 00:55:43,528
Who's taking home that prize?
1179
00:55:43,530 --> 00:55:45,129
- Uh...
- Go ahead.
1180
00:55:45,131 --> 00:55:46,664
Touch it.
1181
00:55:46,666 --> 00:55:47,832
I'd rather not.
1182
00:55:47,834 --> 00:55:48,934
- No, no, no.
- No, I'm good.
1183
00:55:48,936 --> 00:55:50,936
They're just amazing abs.
They're not gonna bite you.
1184
00:55:50,938 --> 00:55:53,671
Wait, what day is it today?
1185
00:55:53,673 --> 00:55:55,541
It's Monday.
1186
00:55:57,811 --> 00:55:59,812
No fucking way.
1187
00:56:02,849 --> 00:56:04,149
Do you like fun?
1188
00:56:04,151 --> 00:56:05,983
Do you like excitement?
1189
00:56:05,985 --> 00:56:08,187
Well, we... Well, then
come on down to Thadland!
1190
00:56:08,189 --> 00:56:10,789
We've got lots of
that kind of stuff!
1191
00:56:10,791 --> 00:56:12,490
Whoo!
1192
00:56:12,492 --> 00:56:13,626
I'm Thad Castle!
1193
00:56:13,628 --> 00:56:15,760
And whether it's
bouncing with sloots...
1194
00:56:15,762 --> 00:56:17,797
Whoo-hoo!
1195
00:56:18,832 --> 00:56:22,468
Or sweet beach on a ferris wheel.
1196
00:56:22,470 --> 00:56:24,872
It even snows cocaine here!
1197
00:56:27,508 --> 00:56:28,673
Here's fun facts about Thadland.
1198
00:56:28,675 --> 00:56:29,908
It was created three days ago.
1199
00:56:29,910 --> 00:56:31,910
Our only currency is checks.
1200
00:56:31,912 --> 00:56:34,111
And we're open 23/7, nine
days a week, 385 days a year.
1201
00:56:34,113 --> 00:56:36,113
So round up your bro-beans
1202
00:56:36,115 --> 00:56:39,651
and come on down to the place
where the fun never ends!
1203
00:56:39,653 --> 00:56:41,586
Fuck you, Walt Disney!
1204
00:56:41,588 --> 00:56:43,488
This is Thadland!
1205
00:57:02,742 --> 00:57:04,675
This is disgusting.
1206
00:57:04,677 --> 00:57:07,178
What happened to the party?
1207
00:57:07,180 --> 00:57:09,914
It's right here?
1208
00:57:09,916 --> 00:57:11,249
Hey, ladies.
1209
00:57:11,251 --> 00:57:13,519
Check out these abs.
1210
00:57:41,081 --> 00:57:42,747
This fucking tastes so bad.
1211
00:57:42,749 --> 00:57:44,582
Sammy...
1212
00:57:44,584 --> 00:57:45,684
Alex!
1213
00:57:45,686 --> 00:57:47,251
Holy shit, man.
1214
00:57:47,253 --> 00:57:50,187
You know, people think
that you're fucking dead.
1215
00:57:50,189 --> 00:57:51,722
I'm not dead. I'm right here.
1216
00:57:51,724 --> 00:57:53,158
What is going on here?
1217
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,760
Thadland.
1218
00:57:55,762 --> 00:57:57,662
It's been going on for quite some time.
1219
00:57:57,664 --> 00:57:59,597
You know, these fucking crazy guys,
1220
00:57:59,599 --> 00:58:01,265
are so much fun, it's amazing.
1221
00:58:01,267 --> 00:58:03,200
God, this is all my fault.
1222
00:58:03,202 --> 00:58:04,769
Yeah. Oh, shit, man.
1223
00:58:04,771 --> 00:58:06,137
Do you want some food? I feel weird.
1224
00:58:06,139 --> 00:58:08,240
- Do you want some?
- No, I...
1225
00:58:08,242 --> 00:58:10,675
Is that?
1226
00:58:10,677 --> 00:58:11,809
Yeah, things got a little
weird between Billy and I.
1227
00:58:11,811 --> 00:58:14,745
You know, uh, he bit me, so uh,
1228
00:58:14,747 --> 00:58:16,847
I'm biting him.
1229
00:58:16,849 --> 00:58:18,950
Jesus, Sammy.
1230
00:58:18,952 --> 00:58:21,687
This, this has to end. Where's Thad?
1231
00:58:21,689 --> 00:58:23,021
I haven't seen Thad in a little while.
1232
00:58:23,023 --> 00:58:24,756
But get this.
1233
00:58:24,758 --> 00:58:26,057
Just yesterday,
1234
00:58:26,059 --> 00:58:27,291
he almost remembered my name.
1235
00:58:27,293 --> 00:58:29,327
- Oh, good.
- He called me, "Biscuit."
1236
00:58:29,329 --> 00:58:31,095
Which, you know, to me is pretty close.
1237
00:58:31,097 --> 00:58:33,265
You know, cause it's like...
1238
00:58:33,267 --> 00:58:35,367
- Sam-my!
- I know, it's...
1239
00:58:35,369 --> 00:58:37,035
- Bis-cuit!
- It's not really that close at all.
1240
00:58:37,037 --> 00:58:38,637
If you think about it,
1241
00:58:38,639 --> 00:58:40,939
and you sound it out.
1242
00:58:40,941 --> 00:58:42,740
Biscuit's like tomato.
1243
00:58:42,742 --> 00:58:44,642
I'm gonna go find Thad. You just enjoy it.
1244
00:58:44,644 --> 00:58:46,546
Biscuit!
1245
00:58:58,726 --> 00:59:01,061
What the fuck.
1246
00:59:02,329 --> 00:59:04,863
Donnie!
1247
00:59:04,865 --> 00:59:05,930
Donnie!
1248
00:59:05,932 --> 00:59:08,735
Hey! Radon, stop the ride!
1249
00:59:09,836 --> 00:59:12,037
It's just that,
1250
00:59:12,039 --> 00:59:14,773
all it would take is one of you
to show me respect as a coach
1251
00:59:14,775 --> 00:59:16,841
and not just your friend and
everyone else would be on board.
1252
00:59:16,843 --> 00:59:19,845
No. It's not like that,
dude. We respect you.
1253
00:59:19,847 --> 00:59:22,213
- Really?
- Hey, Coach Summers, fuck you!
1254
00:59:24,418 --> 00:59:26,954
- Not cool, man!
- Donnie!
1255
00:59:28,055 --> 00:59:28,954
I'm so glad I found you.
1256
00:59:28,956 --> 00:59:32,124
Yeah, Thad, what's with the bracelets?
1257
00:59:32,126 --> 00:59:34,059
You don't like them?
1258
00:59:34,061 --> 00:59:35,660
It's just I asked you not to
make a big deal out of this
1259
00:59:35,662 --> 00:59:38,062
and instead you manufactured
thousands of bracelets
1260
00:59:38,064 --> 00:59:40,064
and handed them out to everyone here.
1261
00:59:40,066 --> 00:59:41,666
You're welcome, bro-beans.
1262
00:59:41,668 --> 00:59:44,337
Hey, Thad. Congrats on all your success.
1263
00:59:49,142 --> 00:59:50,809
Dick Dawg!
1264
00:59:50,811 --> 00:59:52,077
Dick Dawg, get over here.
1265
00:59:52,079 --> 00:59:54,812
I got something you're gonna love. Watch.
1266
00:59:54,814 --> 00:59:56,749
Watch where you're stepping, dude.
1267
00:59:58,052 --> 01:00:00,385
Go ahead. Open it.
1268
01:00:00,387 --> 01:00:02,120
I think I can tell what it is, Thad.
1269
01:00:02,122 --> 01:00:03,988
Open it!
1270
01:00:03,990 --> 01:00:05,858
Open it!
1271
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,869
Yeah. Yeah!
1272
01:00:20,374 --> 01:00:22,307
I bought you a guy.
1273
01:00:22,309 --> 01:00:24,209
I can see that.
1274
01:00:24,211 --> 01:00:26,278
Go ahead. Whap his dick around.
1275
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:27,979
Whap, whap.
1276
01:00:27,981 --> 01:00:30,916
I'd rather not, Thad.
1277
01:00:30,918 --> 01:00:32,751
What's the matter, you don't like him?
1278
01:00:32,753 --> 01:00:35,053
No. I do, he, he's great.
1279
01:00:35,055 --> 01:00:36,921
He's already paid for. Whap him.
1280
01:00:36,923 --> 01:00:39,157
Look, I'll do it. Watch.
1281
01:00:39,159 --> 01:00:41,059
Whap. Whap, whap, whap.
1282
01:00:41,061 --> 01:00:42,227
Whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
1283
01:00:42,229 --> 01:00:44,195
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
1284
01:00:44,197 --> 01:00:46,997
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap.
1285
01:00:46,999 --> 01:00:50,468
Whap it. I'll leave you two alone.
1286
01:00:50,470 --> 01:00:52,403
You're welcome, bro-beans.
1287
01:00:52,405 --> 01:00:56,108
- Dick Dawg!
- Have fun, man.
1288
01:00:56,110 --> 01:00:57,908
Sorry about them.
1289
01:00:57,910 --> 01:01:01,245
- I'm Frank.
- I'm Donnie.
1290
01:01:01,247 --> 01:01:03,349
I'm gonna go.
1291
01:01:07,854 --> 01:01:09,488
Coach Daniels!
1292
01:01:09,490 --> 01:01:10,888
So glad you could make it.
1293
01:01:10,890 --> 01:01:11,756
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1294
01:01:11,758 --> 01:01:13,358
But what the hell is this all about?
1295
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,392
Just a friendly little gathering
1296
01:01:15,394 --> 01:01:18,798
where I reveal to the world the
kind of person you really are.
1297
01:01:20,066 --> 01:01:21,867
I'm sorry.
1298
01:01:23,470 --> 01:01:26,271
Like when they steal my hat
1299
01:01:26,273 --> 01:01:29,073
and then laugh at me, it hurts.
1300
01:01:29,075 --> 01:01:32,843
You know, I put on a brave
face, but I'm a real human being.
1301
01:01:32,845 --> 01:01:34,945
Human beings means people.
1302
01:01:34,947 --> 01:01:36,180
Exactly. And like...
1303
01:01:36,182 --> 01:01:38,950
Larry, I need you.
1304
01:01:38,952 --> 01:01:41,986
Alex, come play with me in the bath tub.
1305
01:01:41,988 --> 01:01:43,287
Maybe another time.
1306
01:01:43,289 --> 01:01:45,823
Larry, I need your help right now.
1307
01:01:45,825 --> 01:01:47,392
I need you to round up the whole
team and meet me out front, okay?
1308
01:01:47,394 --> 01:01:48,459
Very funny. Come on, man.
1309
01:01:48,461 --> 01:01:50,463
I'm serious, Larry.
1310
01:01:53,300 --> 01:01:55,800
Coach Summers. This party is over.
1311
01:01:55,802 --> 01:01:57,968
Round 'em up.
1312
01:01:57,970 --> 01:01:59,805
Don't do this, Moran.
1313
01:01:59,807 --> 01:02:01,573
We need you right now, coach.
1314
01:02:01,575 --> 01:02:03,809
Round up this team right now.
1315
01:02:03,811 --> 01:02:05,176
- Man, I...
- Round 'em up!
1316
01:02:05,178 --> 01:02:06,477
- No.
- Round 'em up, Coach Summers!
1317
01:02:06,479 --> 01:02:07,146
- Not you too.
- Round 'em up!
1318
01:02:07,148 --> 01:02:08,946
- Not you too.
- Round 'em up!
1319
01:02:08,948 --> 01:02:10,849
Round 'em up!
1320
01:02:10,851 --> 01:02:12,149
Get out of there!
1321
01:02:12,151 --> 01:02:14,420
Get of there, Coach Summers! Yeah!
1322
01:02:16,590 --> 01:02:19,323
I'll see you out front.
1323
01:02:21,928 --> 01:02:25,264
Mountain goats... Round up!
1324
01:02:27,968 --> 01:02:29,367
Check out this guy.
1325
01:02:29,369 --> 01:02:31,436
He's been asleep for, like, two hours.
1326
01:02:31,438 --> 01:02:33,338
I can't wake him up.
1327
01:02:33,340 --> 01:02:35,472
Holly, where is Mary Jo?
1328
01:02:35,474 --> 01:02:37,508
- She's with Chad.
- Who?
1329
01:02:37,510 --> 01:02:41,512
Chad. You know, like Chadland?
1330
01:02:41,514 --> 01:02:42,847
Right over there.
1331
01:02:44,017 --> 01:02:45,886
Giddy-up!
1332
01:02:47,086 --> 01:02:48,285
To the stables!
1333
01:02:48,287 --> 01:02:50,088
Holy shit!
1334
01:02:52,959 --> 01:02:55,061
Marco!
1335
01:02:56,095 --> 01:02:58,430
Marco!
1336
01:02:58,432 --> 01:03:01,932
I just want to say that in
spite of all the rumors,
1337
01:03:01,934 --> 01:03:04,503
I was not drunk when I
crashed my motorcycle.
1338
01:03:05,972 --> 01:03:08,039
And furthermore...
1339
01:03:15,115 --> 01:03:16,548
You know what?
1340
01:03:16,550 --> 01:03:18,082
That was a lie.
1341
01:03:18,084 --> 01:03:19,651
I was drunk.
1342
01:03:19,653 --> 01:03:22,387
In fact, I'm a little
drunk right now.
1343
01:03:22,389 --> 01:03:23,988
I was hammered
1344
01:03:23,990 --> 01:03:25,390
when I crashed my motorcycle,
1345
01:03:25,392 --> 01:03:27,091
and I was just about to have
1346
01:03:27,093 --> 01:03:29,260
an enchanted moment
1347
01:03:29,262 --> 01:03:31,062
with this girl,
1348
01:03:31,064 --> 01:03:33,932
who happens to be a
very wonderful person.
1349
01:03:33,934 --> 01:03:38,068
So, you can all go fuck yourselves.
1350
01:03:38,070 --> 01:03:40,072
And go Goats.
1351
01:03:41,407 --> 01:03:44,041
Well, alrighty then.
1352
01:03:44,043 --> 01:03:46,544
Let's open it up for
questions, shall we?
1353
01:03:46,546 --> 01:03:49,546
Coach! Coach! Julia King from CAN.
1354
01:03:49,548 --> 01:03:51,249
What can you tell us about
your feelings on Thadland?
1355
01:03:51,251 --> 01:03:52,550
Have you been?
1356
01:03:52,552 --> 01:03:54,452
And can you comment on
Thad Castle's open bashing
1357
01:03:54,454 --> 01:03:55,387
of the late Walt Disney?
1358
01:03:55,389 --> 01:03:57,289
He's called him, and I quote,
1359
01:03:57,291 --> 01:03:58,622
"A short, anti-Semite...
1360
01:03:58,624 --> 01:04:00,492
"with less imagination in his whole
1361
01:04:00,494 --> 01:04:04,461
"Jew-hating body than I have
in the tip of my pee-hole."
1362
01:04:04,463 --> 01:04:05,664
He said "pee-hole?"
1363
01:04:05,666 --> 01:04:06,765
- He did.
- Well, you know,
1364
01:04:06,767 --> 01:04:08,999
I don't think any
of those allegations
1365
01:04:09,001 --> 01:04:10,535
were proven to be true.
1366
01:04:10,537 --> 01:04:12,202
So I don't want to comment on Mr...
1367
01:04:13,407 --> 01:04:16,374
What about the drug use at Thadland?
1368
01:04:16,376 --> 01:04:18,276
Why does Thad Castle hate the French?
1369
01:04:18,278 --> 01:04:20,044
That's the question you idiots have?
1370
01:04:20,046 --> 01:04:21,211
Thadland?
1371
01:04:21,213 --> 01:04:23,247
Ask him about the drinking.
1372
01:04:23,249 --> 01:04:25,216
Ask him about the driving.
1373
01:04:25,218 --> 01:04:27,619
The accident with the little chick.
1374
01:04:27,621 --> 01:04:30,456
Ask him some of this stuff. What?
1375
01:04:35,561 --> 01:04:37,363
Coach!
1376
01:04:44,704 --> 01:04:47,104
Oh, yeah, this is great.
1377
01:04:47,106 --> 01:04:49,673
Can wear you all the way to...
1378
01:04:49,675 --> 01:04:51,075
Sammy!
1379
01:04:51,077 --> 01:04:54,480
Alex! Holy shit, what's up, buddy?
1380
01:04:55,581 --> 01:04:57,182
I really need your help.
1381
01:04:57,184 --> 01:04:58,115
I need you to sneak me
back into the Goat House.
1382
01:04:58,117 --> 01:05:00,151
Why?
1383
01:05:00,153 --> 01:05:02,320
Oh, my God, that's right,
'cause you're banished!
1384
01:05:02,322 --> 01:05:04,655
Hey, everybody, Alex is back!
1385
01:05:04,657 --> 01:05:06,191
Whoo! We gotta keep it down though.
1386
01:05:06,193 --> 01:05:07,492
We gotta keep it down.
1387
01:05:07,494 --> 01:05:08,526
But I can help you out. Follow me.
1388
01:05:08,528 --> 01:05:10,061
Follow me, pal.
1389
01:05:10,063 --> 01:05:11,428
You're not gonna believe this.
1390
01:05:11,430 --> 01:05:14,566
I fucking, I ate basically the whole goat.
1391
01:05:14,568 --> 01:05:16,066
- Did you boil it?
- Oh, yeah.
1392
01:05:16,068 --> 01:05:17,635
Thad is pissed at you.
1393
01:05:17,637 --> 01:05:19,671
He's declared your name a swear word.
1394
01:05:19,673 --> 01:05:22,073
Actually it's pretty cool if you ask me.
1395
01:05:22,075 --> 01:05:23,307
Why is that cool?
1396
01:05:23,309 --> 01:05:25,075
At least he knows your name.
1397
01:05:25,077 --> 01:05:27,278
Harmon, you got a visitor, buddy.
1398
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,646
Alex, you're alive.
1399
01:05:29,648 --> 01:05:31,582
I thought you were dead or something.
1400
01:05:31,584 --> 01:05:34,251
I almost was, thanks to your balloons.
1401
01:05:34,253 --> 01:05:37,155
This drug affects different
people in different ways.
1402
01:05:37,157 --> 01:05:39,224
Me, I grew up on the stuff.
1403
01:05:39,226 --> 01:05:41,026
It was like formula to
me when I was a baby.
1404
01:05:41,028 --> 01:05:42,629
What is it?
1405
01:05:45,432 --> 01:05:47,298
Don't ask yourself a question
1406
01:05:47,300 --> 01:05:49,767
that you don't want the answer to.
1407
01:05:49,769 --> 01:05:52,504
Just go on back up to the
party and enjoy yourself.
1408
01:05:52,506 --> 01:05:55,140
Harmon. What is in your balloons?
1409
01:05:55,142 --> 01:05:56,274
It's shit.
1410
01:05:56,276 --> 01:05:58,776
It's not shit...
1411
01:05:58,778 --> 01:06:00,378
It's jenkum.
1412
01:06:00,380 --> 01:06:02,079
Okay, what the fuck is jenkum?
1413
01:06:02,081 --> 01:06:03,247
- Shit.
- It's not...
1414
01:06:03,249 --> 01:06:04,349
- He said shit again.
- Shit.
1415
01:06:04,351 --> 01:06:05,682
It's poop fumes
1416
01:06:05,684 --> 01:06:07,651
and pee fumes.
1417
01:06:07,653 --> 01:06:09,620
It's very popular in the south.
1418
01:06:09,622 --> 01:06:11,155
See, what I've done here is
1419
01:06:11,157 --> 01:06:12,590
I've rerouted these sewer pipes
1420
01:06:12,592 --> 01:06:14,526
into this steel tank.
1421
01:06:14,528 --> 01:06:16,794
And then whenever anyone
uses the facilities,
1422
01:06:16,796 --> 01:06:18,562
it collects here where
it's allowed to ferment
1423
01:06:18,564 --> 01:06:20,497
at a very high temperature.
1424
01:06:20,499 --> 01:06:23,100
Then it's simply a matter
of filling these balloons
1425
01:06:23,102 --> 01:06:25,470
with the fermented fumes, et voila.
1426
01:06:25,472 --> 01:06:28,472
This stuff will knock
you straight on your ass.
1427
01:06:28,474 --> 01:06:30,108
Which is ironic considering
1428
01:06:30,110 --> 01:06:32,678
that's where it all
started in the first place.
1429
01:06:34,213 --> 01:06:36,180
- Please tell me you're kidding.
- No.
1430
01:06:36,182 --> 01:06:38,349
We've been down here for days
1431
01:06:38,351 --> 01:06:40,484
messing around with different temperatures,
1432
01:06:40,486 --> 01:06:43,254
more poop, less pee, more pee, less poop...
1433
01:06:43,256 --> 01:06:45,189
No, no, no.
1434
01:06:45,191 --> 01:06:47,624
This experiment ends right now.
1435
01:06:47,626 --> 01:06:50,562
I lost two days of my life to this shit!
1436
01:06:50,564 --> 01:06:52,763
And dignity. Stop huffing that!
1437
01:06:52,765 --> 01:06:54,399
Jesus Christ!
1438
01:06:54,401 --> 01:06:55,666
Shut it down, Harmon.
1439
01:06:55,668 --> 01:06:57,836
- No, no, no, what about Thad?
- Forget Thad!
1440
01:06:57,838 --> 01:06:59,236
This is my house.
1441
01:06:59,238 --> 01:07:00,872
And I'm your captain.
1442
01:07:00,874 --> 01:07:02,707
Now shut it down, Harmon.
1443
01:07:02,709 --> 01:07:04,611
Shut it down.
1444
01:07:07,447 --> 01:07:09,416
Consider it done, Captain.
1445
01:07:16,456 --> 01:07:18,356
Have you seen Thad?
1446
01:07:18,358 --> 01:07:21,093
Thad's upstairs.
1447
01:07:59,198 --> 01:08:01,300
Are you an assassin?
1448
01:08:04,204 --> 01:08:06,206
Thad?
1449
01:08:10,309 --> 01:08:13,311
You can't kill me.
1450
01:08:13,313 --> 01:08:15,548
I'm not killable.
1451
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:22,953
I'm not here to kill you.
1452
01:08:22,955 --> 01:08:26,159
I'm here to tell you
that this party is over.
1453
01:08:29,696 --> 01:08:31,428
Guys, I have no time to explain.
1454
01:08:31,430 --> 01:08:32,829
You don't want to be
sucking on those balloons.
1455
01:08:32,831 --> 01:08:33,931
Trust me.
1456
01:08:33,933 --> 01:08:36,234
What balloons?
1457
01:08:36,236 --> 01:08:37,836
These balloons?
1458
01:08:38,905 --> 01:08:40,571
Please stop.
1459
01:08:40,573 --> 01:08:41,972
Thad, stop doing that.
1460
01:08:41,974 --> 01:08:43,809
Thad, stop!
1461
01:08:45,512 --> 01:08:47,514
Thank you.
1462
01:08:49,415 --> 01:08:50,949
Hey, hey.
1463
01:08:50,951 --> 01:08:52,350
Don't let him do that.
1464
01:08:52,352 --> 01:08:53,751
What do you care?
1465
01:08:53,753 --> 01:08:54,953
You got what you wanted.
1466
01:08:54,955 --> 01:08:56,320
The house is safe.
1467
01:08:56,322 --> 01:08:58,623
I do care, all right?
1468
01:08:58,625 --> 01:08:59,690
And I don't know if what happened
1469
01:08:59,692 --> 01:09:02,360
between us was real or not,
1470
01:09:02,362 --> 01:09:04,361
but I meant every word I said to you.
1471
01:09:04,363 --> 01:09:06,597
Then prove it.
1472
01:09:06,599 --> 01:09:07,899
Hey!
1473
01:09:07,901 --> 01:09:09,400
Enough!
1474
01:09:09,402 --> 01:09:12,502
This is about me! Not you a-holes!
1475
01:09:12,504 --> 01:09:15,907
Okay, let's talk about you.
1476
01:09:15,909 --> 01:09:18,976
How about we start with
what the hell is going on.
1477
01:09:18,978 --> 01:09:20,278
You were a number one
1478
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,547
draft pick in the NFL.
1479
01:09:22,549 --> 01:09:24,582
Why aren't you at practice?
1480
01:09:24,584 --> 01:09:26,885
And what do you even want with my house?
1481
01:09:33,793 --> 01:09:35,293
Let's not do this again, Senor.
1482
01:09:35,295 --> 01:09:36,927
Officer, I carry in my possession
1483
01:09:36,929 --> 01:09:38,328
information which may interest you
1484
01:09:38,330 --> 01:09:40,632
and your tiny little benevolent fund.
1485
01:09:40,634 --> 01:09:41,833
I didn't catch any of that.
1486
01:09:41,835 --> 01:09:43,670
Look at the papers!
1487
01:09:52,379 --> 01:09:53,444
I need all available units
1488
01:09:53,446 --> 01:09:56,346
to Blue Mountain State
Campus. All available units.
1489
01:09:56,348 --> 01:09:57,949
There goes the department booze cruise.
1490
01:09:57,951 --> 01:09:59,650
Argh!
1491
01:09:59,652 --> 01:10:01,653
Thad, we were teammates for three years.
1492
01:10:01,655 --> 01:10:04,422
You've got to trust me. What is happening?
1493
01:10:04,424 --> 01:10:07,624
This may come as a surprise to you,
1494
01:10:07,626 --> 01:10:11,796
but I'm not the super smart Alan
Einstein that everyone thinks I am.
1495
01:10:11,798 --> 01:10:13,998
No. Don't say that.
1496
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,400
If I told you the truth, you'd
think I was the biggest idiot.
1497
01:10:16,402 --> 01:10:18,470
Never.
1498
01:10:23,343 --> 01:10:24,941
I'm not going pro.
1499
01:10:24,943 --> 01:10:26,711
What?
1500
01:10:26,713 --> 01:10:28,578
Wait, I saw the draft, Thad.
1501
01:10:28,580 --> 01:10:29,913
We all saw the draft.
1502
01:10:29,915 --> 01:10:32,050
Now you're mad at me. I
knew you'd get mad at me.
1503
01:10:32,052 --> 01:10:33,918
- I'm not mad at you.
- Yes, you are.
1504
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:35,653
The draft was real,
1505
01:10:35,655 --> 01:10:37,922
and the contract was real,
1506
01:10:37,924 --> 01:10:40,858
but then,
1507
01:10:40,860 --> 01:10:42,793
I bought a zoo...
1508
01:10:42,795 --> 01:10:44,861
And I was messing around
with that big animal
1509
01:10:44,863 --> 01:10:46,931
with the horn growing out of its face.
1510
01:10:46,933 --> 01:10:48,833
A rhinoceros?
1511
01:10:48,835 --> 01:10:50,635
Sure.
1512
01:10:50,637 --> 01:10:52,970
And the stupid thing stabbed
me with his stupid horn.
1513
01:10:52,972 --> 01:10:54,471
My coach found out
1514
01:10:54,473 --> 01:10:55,873
and they canceled my contract.
1515
01:10:55,875 --> 01:10:57,677
No, no, no, stop stop stop!
1516
01:11:00,647 --> 01:11:02,846
What?
1517
01:11:02,848 --> 01:11:04,614
How long have you known about this?
1518
01:11:04,616 --> 01:11:06,883
Since the day before you
and I met at that restaurant.
1519
01:11:06,885 --> 01:11:08,687
Wha...
1520
01:11:10,423 --> 01:11:12,824
So this, this book...
1521
01:11:12,826 --> 01:11:16,093
This, this, this dream, it was all a lie?
1522
01:11:16,095 --> 01:11:20,364
I drew that the night
before I gave it to you.
1523
01:11:20,366 --> 01:11:23,834
I imagined a party in my honor.
1524
01:11:23,836 --> 01:11:26,104
A place that was safe and warm
1525
01:11:26,106 --> 01:11:28,806
and I'd never ever ever ever leave.
1526
01:11:43,522 --> 01:11:45,123
You motherfucker!
1527
01:11:45,125 --> 01:11:46,023
What the...
1528
01:11:46,025 --> 01:11:47,557
Holy shit!
1529
01:11:47,559 --> 01:11:48,993
Actually, that's a lie too.
1530
01:11:48,995 --> 01:11:51,762
I didn't draw those pictures.
1531
01:11:51,764 --> 01:11:53,631
I traced them.
1532
01:12:13,553 --> 01:12:15,886
So you knew your contract was void?
1533
01:12:15,888 --> 01:12:17,154
How did you pay for all this?
1534
01:12:17,156 --> 01:12:19,056
Checks.
1535
01:12:19,058 --> 01:12:21,661
But they weren't real. I
just ordered them online.
1536
01:12:25,531 --> 01:12:27,931
You have no money?
1537
01:12:27,933 --> 01:12:29,766
Who else knows about this?
1538
01:12:29,768 --> 01:12:32,736
Just me and Dick Dawg
1539
01:12:32,738 --> 01:12:34,471
and the Dean.
1540
01:12:34,473 --> 01:12:36,140
Olivares knows about
this? How does he know?
1541
01:12:36,142 --> 01:12:37,441
Dick Dawg told him.
1542
01:12:37,443 --> 01:12:38,543
Why would he do that, Thad?
1543
01:12:38,545 --> 01:12:40,077
Because I told him to.
1544
01:12:40,079 --> 01:12:42,078
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Are you gonna
1545
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,847
help me? I'm in real deep shit.
1546
01:12:43,849 --> 01:12:46,184
I started my own sneaker
line, for Christ sake.
1547
01:12:46,186 --> 01:12:48,218
I made my own Hall of Fame jacket.
1548
01:12:48,220 --> 01:12:50,156
I can't face them.
1549
01:12:51,790 --> 01:12:53,793
I'd rather be dead.
1550
01:12:56,763 --> 01:12:58,765
Is that what this is all about?
1551
01:13:00,599 --> 01:13:02,099
This?
1552
01:13:02,101 --> 01:13:03,601
- This drawing.
- Tracing.
1553
01:13:03,603 --> 01:13:06,703
Tracing in your book.
1554
01:13:06,705 --> 01:13:08,573
It's you?
1555
01:13:10,210 --> 01:13:12,044
In heaven.
1556
01:13:13,679 --> 01:13:15,111
- No. No way.
- Yes.
1557
01:13:15,113 --> 01:13:16,780
- Absolutely not.
- Yes.
1558
01:13:16,782 --> 01:13:18,248
- No, I'm not doing it. No.
- Yes, you have to!
1559
01:13:18,250 --> 01:13:20,083
- I'm not doing it.
- That's the deal! You have to help me!
1560
01:13:20,085 --> 01:13:22,185
I bought you this house!
1561
01:13:22,187 --> 01:13:24,055
Technically you didn't!
1562
01:13:24,057 --> 01:13:25,623
But goddammit!
1563
01:13:26,759 --> 01:13:27,792
Shhh!
1564
01:13:27,794 --> 01:13:29,060
Thad?
1565
01:13:29,062 --> 01:13:30,660
Yes.
1566
01:13:30,662 --> 01:13:33,129
- If I help you out of this...
- Yes?
1567
01:13:33,131 --> 01:13:35,099
All debts are paid. I owe you nothing.
1568
01:13:35,101 --> 01:13:37,103
Deal.
1569
01:13:39,839 --> 01:13:41,905
All right. Shit!
1570
01:13:41,907 --> 01:13:42,974
I got a plan.
1571
01:13:42,976 --> 01:13:44,574
Shit.
1572
01:13:44,576 --> 01:13:45,877
I'm gonna need Dick Dawg.
1573
01:13:45,879 --> 01:13:48,279
Shit! Goddamn it!
1574
01:13:48,281 --> 01:13:50,483
Shit.
1575
01:13:53,253 --> 01:13:55,455
Ohhh!
1576
01:14:05,197 --> 01:14:07,198
Well!
1577
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:09,065
- Jesus Christ!
- If it isn't the guy I don't remember.
1578
01:14:09,067 --> 01:14:11,302
Oh, God, why are you naked?
1579
01:14:11,304 --> 01:14:13,003
Wait, what's on your head?
1580
01:14:13,005 --> 01:14:14,838
Oh, I'm wearing the last guy
who tried to mess with me.
1581
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:15,972
What the fuck do you think you're
1582
01:14:15,974 --> 01:14:18,109
doing down here in my lab, pal?
1583
01:14:18,111 --> 01:14:20,043
None of your business, pal.
1584
01:14:20,045 --> 01:14:22,078
None of my fucking business?
1585
01:14:22,080 --> 01:14:24,748
Well, down here...
1586
01:14:24,750 --> 01:14:28,653
This is fucking Sammy's world, pal.
1587
01:14:28,655 --> 01:14:30,755
Who is Sammy?
1588
01:14:32,191 --> 01:14:34,758
It's me! I'm Sammy!
1589
01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:37,294
You listen to me, and
you listen to me good...
1590
01:14:37,296 --> 01:14:39,297
you touch another valve on
my fucking jug right here,
1591
01:14:39,299 --> 01:14:40,830
you're fucking going down, buddy.
1592
01:14:40,832 --> 01:14:42,566
- Oh, no, no. Wait wait. Is that?
- Yeah.
1593
01:14:42,568 --> 01:14:43,935
- Ok, um. You don't wanna?
- Don't you...
1594
01:14:43,937 --> 01:14:45,669
- You don't wanna...
- Eh, no...
1595
01:14:45,671 --> 01:14:47,171
- Oh, I shouldn't...
- Hey, I swear...
1596
01:14:47,173 --> 01:14:47,939
- If I were you...
- If I were to do that?
1597
01:14:47,941 --> 01:14:49,806
Oh, wow!
1598
01:14:49,808 --> 01:14:51,775
Whoo! I don't know if
that was such a good idea.
1599
01:14:55,647 --> 01:14:59,050
Oh, God, I really don't
wanna fight you, okay, man?
1600
01:15:04,189 --> 01:15:06,893
So, the plan...
1601
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:09,327
- What do I do again?
- Oh, my God!
1602
01:15:09,329 --> 01:15:11,695
This is the police, open up!
1603
01:15:11,697 --> 01:15:13,096
- Whoa! God!
- Whoa!
1604
01:15:13,098 --> 01:15:14,164
Shots fired!
1605
01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:16,132
Oh, God! Oh!
1606
01:15:20,772 --> 01:15:22,373
Christ, you keep that thing loaded?
1607
01:15:22,375 --> 01:15:24,342
Why would I have an unloaded gun?
1608
01:15:24,344 --> 01:15:26,110
Mama!
1609
01:15:34,019 --> 01:15:35,086
Oh, yeah!
1610
01:15:35,088 --> 01:15:37,288
Ahhh!
1611
01:15:37,290 --> 01:15:39,090
Ahhh! Hey!
1612
01:15:39,092 --> 01:15:40,958
Oh, right in the eyes.
Look, we really don't
1613
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:42,827
have time to fight right now.
1614
01:15:42,829 --> 01:15:43,927
Oh, okay, yeah, you don't
wanna fucking fight this?
1615
01:15:45,031 --> 01:15:46,029
Ugh!
1616
01:15:46,031 --> 01:15:48,034
Oh, gosh!
1617
01:15:50,068 --> 01:15:52,002
Ugh!
1618
01:15:52,004 --> 01:15:53,904
You're showing a tremendous
amount of heart right now.
1619
01:15:53,906 --> 01:15:55,306
I admire your tenacity, I really do.
1620
01:15:55,308 --> 01:15:57,941
But, every pipe in this
place is about to explode.
1621
01:15:57,943 --> 01:15:59,275
You need to just give
up already, all right?
1622
01:15:59,277 --> 01:16:00,977
Get outta here. Jesus!
1623
01:16:00,979 --> 01:16:03,114
Okay, okay. How's this
for a fucking explosion?
1624
01:16:04,651 --> 01:16:06,316
Get your dick off my back!
1625
01:16:06,318 --> 01:16:07,885
Get your back off my dick!
1626
01:16:14,826 --> 01:16:16,726
What the fuck was that?
1627
01:16:16,728 --> 01:16:17,828
Oh, God!
1628
01:16:17,830 --> 01:16:19,329
Oh, no!
1629
01:16:19,331 --> 01:16:22,432
Oh, what the fuck, man! Holy shit!
1630
01:16:22,434 --> 01:16:24,235
Are you sure you wanna
go through with this?
1631
01:16:24,237 --> 01:16:26,038
It's the only way!
1632
01:16:30,410 --> 01:16:32,709
Make sure you tell people my story.
1633
01:16:32,711 --> 01:16:34,878
I don't think that'll be a problem!
1634
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:36,682
Let's go!
1635
01:16:44,057 --> 01:16:46,356
Oh! Get off me.
1636
01:16:46,358 --> 01:16:48,825
What's happening?
1637
01:16:48,827 --> 01:16:51,028
Hey, you gotta get outta
here, man, right now.
1638
01:16:51,030 --> 01:16:53,329
I don't wanna die fighting
a naked guy. Come on!
1639
01:16:53,331 --> 01:16:55,099
Truce!
1640
01:16:55,101 --> 01:16:58,034
All right, truce. Hey, you
fight like a goddamn champion.
1641
01:16:58,036 --> 01:16:59,069
Oh, shoot, look at that. Shit!
1642
01:16:59,071 --> 01:17:01,072
What?
1643
01:17:46,986 --> 01:17:49,021
Get back!
1644
01:18:09,776 --> 01:18:11,711
Holy shit.
1645
01:18:17,250 --> 01:18:19,949
The lab.
1646
01:18:19,951 --> 01:18:21,753
The beer.
1647
01:18:23,255 --> 01:18:27,490
Alex, your house.
1648
01:18:27,492 --> 01:18:29,327
It was just a house.
1649
01:18:35,101 --> 01:18:40,203
I did it! I did it! I win! I am the coach!
1650
01:18:40,205 --> 01:18:43,141
The house is gone!
1651
01:18:45,411 --> 01:18:49,012
It's okay, captain. I got this one.
1652
01:18:49,014 --> 01:18:52,917
Dean Olivares, you need
some air. Here. Deep breaths.
1653
01:18:56,022 --> 01:18:57,520
Got it? Everything?
1654
01:18:57,522 --> 01:18:59,088
Julia King?
1655
01:18:59,090 --> 01:19:00,457
Thank you, good man.
1656
01:19:00,459 --> 01:19:03,429
My pleasure. Good day to you, Sir.
1657
01:19:04,863 --> 01:19:06,497
Hello, there. Hi.
1658
01:19:06,499 --> 01:19:08,032
Could you tell us about
what happened here today?
1659
01:19:08,034 --> 01:19:09,400
I...
1660
01:19:18,210 --> 01:19:19,843
Baby and baby...
1661
01:19:19,845 --> 01:19:21,412
Hey, baby. Hey, baby.
1662
01:19:21,414 --> 01:19:24,282
Hey, Wait. Where's Thad?
1663
01:19:27,420 --> 01:19:29,854
He, uh, he didn't make it.
1664
01:19:29,856 --> 01:19:31,288
So sad!
1665
01:19:31,290 --> 01:19:33,324
At least he went out the way he wanted to.
1666
01:19:33,326 --> 01:19:34,557
Partying like a mother fucker,
1667
01:19:34,559 --> 01:19:35,626
ain't nothin' wrong with that.
1668
01:19:35,628 --> 01:19:37,194
Blaze of glory.
1669
01:19:37,196 --> 01:19:39,296
The man was a hero.
1670
01:19:39,298 --> 01:19:41,398
He was a legend.
1671
01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:43,967
To Thad!
1672
01:19:43,969 --> 01:19:45,570
To Thad!
1673
01:20:50,568 --> 01:20:53,069
Then why can't I taste any?
1674
01:20:53,071 --> 01:20:54,471
You telling me there's lime in this,
1675
01:20:54,473 --> 01:20:56,239
I can't taste a goddamn ounce of it!
1676
01:20:56,241 --> 01:20:58,175
Now get back there!
1677
01:20:58,177 --> 01:21:00,043
You go back there and
you tell that bartender,
1678
01:21:00,045 --> 01:21:02,145
I need lime in all my mojitos!
1679
01:21:02,147 --> 01:21:04,480
Go! Run!
1680
01:21:04,482 --> 01:21:07,484
Oh, wait. Wait, never mind!
1681
01:21:07,486 --> 01:21:09,720
I can taste the lime now!
1682
01:21:09,722 --> 01:21:12,523
It was hidden under all the mint!
1683
01:21:12,525 --> 01:21:15,294
Come back, I can taste it!
1684
01:22:38,443 --> 01:22:40,610
Sammy!
1685
01:22:40,612 --> 01:22:42,346
Sammy, wake up. Come
on, man. Come back to me.
1686
01:22:42,348 --> 01:22:44,648
Sammy, come on, buddy. Wake up!
1687
01:22:44,650 --> 01:22:46,050
Dick Dawg?
1688
01:22:46,052 --> 01:22:48,651
It's me, pal. Yeah, you're gonna be okay.
1689
01:22:48,653 --> 01:22:50,520
Were you saying my name before?
1690
01:22:50,522 --> 01:22:53,657
What? No. No. Nope.
1691
01:22:53,659 --> 01:22:56,459
You did. You said Sammy.
1692
01:22:56,461 --> 01:22:58,494
Whatever you say, Chief.
1693
01:22:58,496 --> 01:23:00,530
No. Sammy.
1694
01:23:00,532 --> 01:23:03,367
- You said Sammy.
- You're okay, sport. All right?
1695
01:23:03,369 --> 01:23:04,767
Just lay back down, bucko.
1696
01:23:04,769 --> 01:23:08,204
- Say Sammy. Say Sammy.
- Shh!
1697
01:23:08,206 --> 01:23:10,541
You said Sammy. I fucking heard you.
1698
01:23:10,543 --> 01:23:11,608
You're gonna be okay, Tiger.
1699
01:23:11,610 --> 01:23:13,577
Sammy!
1700
01:23:13,579 --> 01:23:15,279
- Sammy.
- I'm not actually saying it.
1701
01:23:15,281 --> 01:23:18,181
- You said Sammy!
- That's just you moving my lips.
1702
01:23:18,183 --> 01:23:20,617
Dick Dawg, say it, you
fucking piece of shit.
1703
01:23:20,619 --> 01:23:22,218
You inhaled a little too much shit fumes.
1704
01:23:22,220 --> 01:23:24,490
You fucking asshole!
117172
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof