All language subtitles for The.Neighborhood.S05E06.WEBRip.x264-ION10.english

Hey, Kenny, good news.

I only had to replace a few hoses

and refill your coolant.

Oh, that is good news.

Now, a more unscrupulous
mechanic would've told you

it was your water pump, and
charged you an arm and a leg.

But you're in luck because
I got all my scruples.

Well, I'm glad my car
broke down near your shop,

'cause I usually take my car to Motor Boys.

Motor Boys? Do you hate your cars?

No, I have a service contract with them.

They take care of my fleet
of black cars and sprinters.

Hey, guess who one of my drivers

just picked up from LAX.

The mom from Home Improvement.

I have heard of that person.

And it would be a shame

if she got stranded on the 405

because Motor Boys forgot
to replace your radiator hoses.

That would not be good.

Anyway, I gotta go pick
up my son at baseball.

Oh, oh, your son plays baseball?

Yeah. Since he was six years old.

The boy eats, drinks and sleeps baseball.

Sounds like my son Malcolm.

He actually would have
made it to the big leagues

if he hadn't gotten injured.

But now he's a batting coach for USC.

Wow. That's one of the
best programs in the country.

Yeah.

Kenny, how about I talk to my son about

taking your son to the next level?

I likes the sound of that.

I thought that you would.

Kenny Phillips, KP Luxury Transportation.

You know, Kenny, if I scratch someone's back,

and then I realize, oh,
I'm feeling a little itchy...

maybe I can get my back scratched, too.

You know, one hand washes the other.

The quid becomes the pro
quo, the yin becomes the yang,

the wu becomes the tang.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪

Hey, honey. How was your day?

Well, I went to the farmers' market,

and two great things happened.

First of all, I got a box of dough-nots.

Ooh, doughnuts.

No, no, no. Not-not doughnuts.

Dough-nots, as in "not a doughnut."

They're not fried, they're
vegan and they're gluten-free.

Well, I dough-not want one.

Your loss. Ah. The second thing is

I bumped into your old friend Linzie.

Linzie from Hickory Corners? Yeah.

Huh, that's nice.

That's nice?

I thought you'd be more excited about Linzie.

And the dough-nots.

It's just... when I won the
Miss Hickory Corners pageant,

Linzie was the runner-up.

Afterwards, it was awkward.

Well, the best woman won.

And I married a beauty pageant winner,

so in a way, I won, too.

I haven't seen her in years.

How did you even recognize her?

I didn't. She recognized me.

Please tell me you did
not invite Linzie over.

No, I did not invite Linzie over.

-So you did.
-I did.

Hey, Pop, I got your text.
What's the emergency?

Ah, there's no emergency.

Your father just wants to
pimp you out to a customer.

Uh, Mama, I'm gonna
need more context than that.

Listen, son, come on, have a seat, man.

Right here. In your chair?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, a big opportunity
just fell into my lap.

I got a new customer
who owns a fleet of cars,

and I want to land his service contract.

It just so happens that he has a son

that is a high school
baseball prospect, so...

Here comes the pimp part.

I told him you'd be the
kid's private batting coach.

Really? No, that's awesome.

There's good money in that.

Not for you.

Tina, would you let me talk to my son?

Okay.

Not for you.

But you'd be doing me a solid.

And the kid, he's really good.

All right? He's a four-star prospect.

Just needs a great batting coach

to get him up to five.

Okay, well, I mean, I gotta admit,

if I brought the school a hot recruit,

that would be a good look for me.

Yes, it would be a good look for you. Yeah.

This is about you.

And if you make thousands of dollars

off the dad, it's a good look for you.

That's just the sacrifice
I'm willing to make, Tina.

Okay, Peter, widen your stance a little.

Okay, here we go.

Whoo! Ho, ho!

That's what I'm talking about.

Oh, you got a lot of power.

Okay, I'm gonna take some speed off the ball,

and that's gonna allow you
to focus on your mechanics.

What's, uh... What's so funny?

Man, this monkey keeps smelling his own butt.

A monkey. Uh, Peter,

if you don't get your head in the game,

you'll be smelling your butt on the bench.

All right, now, look,

I'm gonna put a little curve on the ball.

Oh, man, I hate curveballs.

They're hard to hit.

Yeah, Peter, that's why pitchers throw them.

And you'll be seeing a lot
more of those in college.

All right? Now, stay in there, stay focused.

Okay.

Ah! Hey, that's okay. Peter, Peter,

keep the weight on the balls of your feet.

Here we go.

Come on, Peter. Look, attack the ball, man.

Beast mode. Let your beast out, man.

Whoo-ho-ho! Yes! That is it.

So we're done, right?

Ah.

No, we are not done.

Is there somewhere else you'd rather be?

Well, yeah, actually...

Hey, that was a rhetorical question.

Thanks for coming tonight, T.

I really needed a buffer.

Things could get a little weird.

Oh, that's just Dave.

I've grown to love that about him.

I'm not talking about Dave,
I'm talking about Linzie.

Aw, don't worry about it. Look.

Her and Calvin are getting along great.

Then, after my divorce, I got a job

at a chicken processing plant.

Mm.

My thumb got caught in the machinery.

Yeah.

Luckily, it was a clean cut.

This is actually my big toe.

Damn, I just shook your hand.

You must have gotten a big settlement.

Oh, yeah, huge.

I invested it all in Bitmoney.

You mean Bitcoin. I wish.

Uh, uh...

quick question. Do you get a mani

or a pedi on that?

So, uh, is this your first time out in L.A.?

Yeah. What better time to travel

than right after you've just been evicted?

But, hey, I'm all about that van life.

I'm afraid to ask another
question. Anybody...?

So what brought you out to Pasadena?

I came to be on The Price is Right.

Oh. Oh! Oh, that's fun.

It should have been,

but I never got to "come on down."

Damn.

I bet if Gemma was there, she would have won.

She wins everything.

Oh, it was just one silly pageant.

Well, it came with a college scholarship

and got you out of Hickory Corners.

And look at you now.

College didn't do that much for me.

Gemma, it's okay.

She deserved to win that pageant.

You should have seen her. Great magic tricks.

You were-- You were great, too.

She played "Somewhere
Over the Rainbow" on spoons.

I'm not gonna lie, I would've liked

to see that right there.

But where you crushed it
was the public speaking.

That story was so beautiful.

Her horse died and it broke her heart.

And the judges'.

Oh, Gemma, you had a horse?

Yeah, you never told me you had a horse. Mm.

Yep. It just up and died. So...

Anyway... who wants to see a magic trick?

I'm gonna make dinner appear.

You know what, I'm gonna get some more wine.

Ooh, and, uh, get some spoons.

Do you know any Kenny Loggins?

Your friend Linzie,

she's a little... different.

Mm-hmm.

Gemma?

-You okay?
-No.

Calvin, that story I told
to win the pageant...

-About the dead horse?
-It was a lie.

The horse is alive?

No, the story was about my aunt.

Your aunt died?

You should have gone
with that. That's way sadder.

No. No, my aunt didn't die.

I mean, she's dead now,
but she was alive then.

So was there ever a horse?

Yes!

I'm not a crazy person.

It was my aunt's horse.

But I went up on that
stage, and I said it was mine,

and I fake-cried in front of the judges,

and that's why I won.

Linzie was really talented and beautiful.

She would have won.

But I got the scholarship,
and her life went to crap.

She should have the
great life that I'm living,

but instead, she's living in a van,

and she didn't even get to come on down!

Okay-- Oh, whoa.

Um...

Oh. We're out of ranch.

Oh, have some of mine.

Oh. Yeah. Thank you.

Dave, don't waste that last carrot.

Oh.

Oh, hell no.

Where's the little girls' room?

Oh, it's right back there.

Move. Gemma!

That woman is a snake. She is no good.

Wait, why would you say that?

Well, Dave said, "I need more dip."

And Linzie lifted her plate
and said, "Stick it in mine."

That's not what she said.

Well, that's what I heard.

I'm sure Linzie didn't mean anything by it.

She's just sad and lost.

Well... Yeah. And I was out of dip.

She had some. What was I supposed to do?

You walk your butt into that kitchen,

and you get the bottle.

Or hell, you'd swallow that celery dry.

Back me up on this, Calvin.

Oh, believe me.

I know better than to ever go side-dipping.

Okay, you're seeing the ball.

You're bringing your bat back.

Now let's freeze.

Do you see anything wrong?

Oh, yeah. Yeah?

Yeah, I-I see it.
-Okay.

My hat's crooked.

Come on, Peter, get serious.

Hey.
-Hey.

Uh, Marty, this is Peter.
Peter, this is Marty.

Oh, nice to meet you, man.

We are breaking down Peter's swing.

Ah, yes, physics in action.

Rotational velocity is
translated into torque.

The transfer of energy from bat...

...to ball.

Wow.

Yeah, you'll have to excuse my brother.

He's a big-ass nerd.

If being fluent in Newton's
second law of motion

makes me a nerd... ...so be it.

I know that law.

Force equals mass

times acceleration. Times acceleration.

Ah, yeah.

Uh... huh.

Never seen anyone fist-bump science.

Whoa, whoa, you work at JPL?

Uh, yes, I do. I'm an astrophysicist.

Do you know anyone who worked
on the Perseverance Mars rover?

Do I know anyone?

Little boy, I am "anyone."

I'm on the team that programmed
one of the telescoping claws.

Yo, I just touched the guy

who touched the claw that touched Mars.

That's me.

Yeah, all right, all right, um, hey.

Who wants to watch Peter
miss some curveballs?

I'd love to, but I got to calculate

some launch telemetry.

Wow.

I mean, your brother is so cool.

Do you think he'd show me how to do that?

Are you telling me you would rather do math

than work on your swing?

Is that bad?

Yeah, that-that-that could be bad for me.

Uh, sit down, man. Let's talk.

Peter, if you're gonna play
baseball at the next level,

you have got to want that more than

you've ever wanted anything.

You know, to have a chance to make it,

it has to mean everything to you.

Does it?

It means everything to my dad.

I'm not asking our dad, I'm asking you.

Is baseball what you
want to do with your life?

W-Well, it's in my top ten.

Peter.

It's number ten.

Hey, guys. Oh.

Hey, Gemma, what are you doing here?

I was wondering, do you have a tow truck?

I'm trying to do a favor for a friend.

Wait a minute.

Is this about that van that's
parked in front of your house?

I know. I know, but she...

You let that snake stay at your house!?

I had to.

Her transmission is busted.

The AC doesn't work.

She is miserable in that van.

The least I can do is get it fixed.

Gemma, you cannot blame yourself

for how someone else's life turned out.

But I fake-cried to win that pageant.

I pride myself on being a good person,

but I'm just a cheater.

Gemma, all you were
doing was playing the game.

How many pageant winners have
actually delivered world peace?

I mean it when I said it.

I bet you did,

because you had your eye on the prize.

Show her your wall of fame, baby.

Oh, yeah. Come on.

Now, you see all these awards?

Sure. Best Auto Garage
in Southern California.

Impressive.

What's even more impressive
is that I made it myself.

Don't get me wrong, this is

the best auto garage in Southern California.

You know, I deserved this
award I didn't actually get.

Look, Gemma, what's important is

that you're a genuinely good person.

You got to let go of this guilt about Linzie.

Wait, is that Shaq

giving you an award at the White House?

Oh, why, yes, it is. Yes.

All right, Linzie. Tow truck is on its way.

You're gonna be on the road
and back to Hickory Corners

in no time. Thank you, Dave.

You have so much
positive energy, it's amazing.

Well, thank you. And look,

you may not have won on The Price is Right,

but I have a feeling that you're
gonna win the Showcase Showdown

of life.

You know, when I first saw
you at the farmer's market,

going to town on those dough-nots...

...I knew we'd end up right here.

What do you mean?

Dave.

Come on, let's not play games.

You dipped your celery stick in my ranch.

We both know what you wanted.

Yes.

Ranch.

Uh...

You see, Linzie, um, celery, it has no taste.

Without a dip,

it's inedible.

Come on.

You got all up in that sauce.

Huh. Uh, Linzie,

I don't like this. Whew, why am I excited?

No, that's fear. Dave, calm down!

Shut up, you sexy man.

Okay, Linzie.

I'm flattered, but you need to chill.

I've got your dip right here.

Ah! Okay. All right.

What the hell?!
Gemma, it's not what you think!

You walked in

on a sexy man trying to be unsexy,

and it is not working!

Oh, my God. I know.

She has got some crazy ideas about dips.

I would never... I am so relieved.

You're-you're relieved? Why are you relieved?

Tina was right about you.

You're a total snake.

Me?

Everybody knew you
fake-cried at that pageant.

Oh, yeah? What about your nip slip?

Huh? We all knew that was premeditated.

"Oh, I dropped a spoon. Whoopsie doodle."

I got to say, this sounds
like one heck of a pageant.

Yeah, okay.

We're done here.

Linzie, I'm gonna tell you

the same thing your landlord told you.

Get your crap and get out.

Damn.

Stop it.

I cannot believe that Linzie...

was trying to hit this.

I believe it.

In Hickory Corners, you're a ten.

What does that make me in L.A.?

My husband.

I'm gonna need a number.

Here's to the fathers

and sons.

Oh, and, uh,

to how many cars you say you own again?

Yes, sir.

Hey, there's my boy.

And my favorite baseball coach.

Yeah, you say that now.

Uh...

Uh, sir.

Your son has something he wants to tell you,

and I don't think you're gonna like it.

Then maybe he doesn't need to say it.

Dad.

I don't want to play baseball.

What?

But you love baseball.

Well, yeah, sort of, but...

Oh, what-what Peter is saying is that he...

he just isn't passionate about baseball,

and he feels pressure to play.

His real passion is for science.

Maybe even astrophysics.

What? That's not a career.

I thought your son was gonna
help my son with his batting.

Well, so did I, okay?

Malcolm, what happened?

Pop.

Do you remember when you
were my Little League coach?

A-And you pushed me and
inspired me to be my best?

Yes, and that's what you were supposed to do

for Kenny's son.

Do you remember

when you were Marty's Little League coach?

And you pushed him and inspired him,

but he wasn't so into it, and he sucked.

Hey, man. "Sucked" is a little extreme.

Yeah. He was terrible.

Right. Marty was the worst.

He fell down swinging.

Every single time. Every single time. Right.

Dude, the bat was too heavy.

The point is, Pop,

you saw what Marty was good
at, so you let him quit baseball.

And for five summers,

you drove him to science camp.

And now look at him.

He's happy, he's successful.

Everything worked out.

That was the best thing for Marty, and...

I think that's gonna be
the best thing for Peter.

It's what I want, Dad.

You know what?

You don't know what the hell you're doing.

You are a horrible coach.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Watch your tone.

Now, Malcolm is talking
about what's best for Peter,

not what's best for you.

And, you know, if that means you're gonna

take your business elsewhere, then so be it.

I'm taking my cars back Motor Boys.

Well, you'll be taking them back a lot.

Hey, sorry I messed up your big deal, Pop.

Nah, don't be sorry, Malcolm.

It's only money.

That I need.

But you did the right
thing. I'm proud of you.

You boys want a drink?

The good stuff?

Yeah.

Oh, uh, Pop, I am honored.

You deserve it.

Oh, hey, thanks, Daddy.

Hey, you got any
lemonade I can mix this with?

Oh! Or pineapple juice.

Give-give me those back.

What?

Y'all ain't ready.

---oOo---