All language subtitles for Murder She Wrote S01E08 Were Off to Kill the Wizard 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-NTb_Subtitles_3

You must be a terribly unhappy man.

I don't need your
dime-store psychoanalysis.

I swear on my honor,
I meant no harm!

Mrs. Baldwin is willing
to pay you $100,000

if you can prove that
Horatio was murdered.

First you said it was not a suicide.

Now you've proved it
couldn't be anything but.

...you're describing, it's impossible.

Horatio Baldwin is dead,
and I killed him.

And made his getaway through an oak door

sealed shut by a six-inch steel bolt?

Yes, Horatio?

Sir, I'm prepared to invoke
flattery, cajolery, even bribery.

Horatio, you have my word on it.

I will bring Mrs. Fletcher back
with me one way or the other.

Well, Billy, what do you
think of that? Wow!

How did you fix it? Daddy
said it couldn't be fixed.

No,
Daddy said he didn't know how to fix it.

But I've got a bike almost
like this back home in Maine.

Can I ride it?
Well, absolutely.

Congratulations. Bert was ready
to junk that old thing.

Oh, dear, I hope he won't
'be upset with me.

Are you kidding?
He's gonna be grateful.

Look, Jess, I've confirmed your
flight to Kansas City tomorrow.

But, honestly, won't you come
back and stay a few more days?

No, dear. A good guest
is like Halley's Comet,

seen and enjoyed seldom and briefly.

Right after my lecture,
I go straight back to Cabot Cove.

We'll miss you. Good. Then
you'll invite me back again.

Excuse me. Mrs. Fletcher?
Yes?

My name is Michael Gardner,

and I am an ardent admirer
of the woman and her work.

Why, thank you. This is my niece,
Mrs. Donovan.

Delighted to meet you.

Mrs. Fletcher, I know this
is terribly short notice,

but my employer just this morning
learned of your arrival in town,

and he is most anxious to meet you.

Oh, I'm sorry, but...
Perhaps you've heard of him.

Horatio Baldwin?
Horrible Horatio?

That's right, son. And precisely
what or who is a Horrible Horatio?

Mr. Baldwin operates various theme
parks throughout the country.

As a matter of fact, today at noon
he's previewing his latest venture,

Horatio's House of Horrors.

It's just for press and
a few close friends.

But he would really love
it if you could join us.

Hey, that's neat!
Could we, Aunt Jess?

Could we?
Billy, I don't think...

Could we, please?
I wanna go too!

No. No! No!

Wait! Wait!
This is an error!

A grave error.
Oh, please, no!

You don't understand!

Oh, boy! Too bad Bert can't be
here. He's my biggest kid of all.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Witness all ye assembled here,

that for various crimes
against the people,

Horatio Baldwin must now
suffer the judgment

rendered unto him by a
jury of his peers.

Executioner, do your duty.

No! No! Wait!

Wait! This is an error!

Wow!
No! No!

What are they doing?

They're gonna hang him, dummy.

But it's only pretend, Cindy.
It's just a game.

My friends,
I swear on my honor. I meant no harm!

I only meant to titillate you!

Is there no one here who
will come to my aid?

Fear not, sir! I shall deliver
you from this ghastly fate!

Good Lord, no! A knife! Quick!
Has anybody got a knife?

Somebody call an ambulance!
Get a doctor! Jess!

Get in there!
Help him, quick!

I am quite all right, my
friends, I assure you.

I hope this little diversion
didn't distress you too deeply.

It was all in fun.
My friends, I bid you welcome!

Wow! What a gross-out.

What happened?

Nothing, dear. They were
just playing a big joke.

Well, did you enjoy our little stunt?

Frankly, Mr. Gardner,
I found it quite appalling.

Mr. Baldwin is ready to meet
with you now, Mrs. Fletcher.

And in the meantime, I'll arrange for the
family to tour the rest of the park.

My dear Mrs. Fletcher, how
good of you to come.

How could I refuse? I had two loaded
children pointed at my head.

Come. Let me show you around.

I don't want to be rude, Mr. Baldwin,
but my family is waiting for me.

I'll only need a few minutes
of your time, dear lady.

It must seem bizarre having an office
complex like this beneath the park.

Well, perhaps you have an
aversion to sunshine.

No, not sunshine.
Predatory competitors.

With access limited to
our elevator complex,

we've been able to keep our
secrets to ourselves.

Mr. Baldwin!
I'm busy, Nils.

Yeah. You've been busy for
a couple of weeks now.

But you're not going to be so busy if the
city shuts you down for safety violations.

I will talk to you later. It's my name,
Nils Highlander, on those permits.

It's my reputation at stake
here. That's enough!

Exercise discretion, sir.

Nothing quite as temperamental
as a bullheaded Swede.

Shall we?

Mr. Baldwin, have you lured me here
to offer me some sort of job?

Please, Mrs. Fletcher, permit me the
seduction before you cry rape.

Come in, please.

Miss Bascomb, please see that
Mrs. Fletcher and I are not disturbed.

Yes, sir.
Uh, sir?

You had an important
call from Mr. Carlson.

I'll be the judge of which calls
are important, Miss Bascomb.

Yes, sir.

My, that looks familiar.

It's terrific.
It really is.

Oh, I'm delighted you liked
it. What's your name?

Laurie.
Laurie Bascomb.

Well, Laurie, would you like me to
sign your book? I'd be so pleased.

You would? It would be an
honor, Mrs. Fletcher.

I'm trying to write a book myself.

[Jessica] Are you? That's
wonderful. It's awfully hard work.

Oh,
- I know. Grim.
- [Horatio] Mrs. Fletcher?

Perhaps that could wait till later.

Oh, I think not, Mr. Baldwin.

Phil?

Arnold, I'm kind of busy right
now. She's here, Phil.

J.B. Fletcher. She came.
I can't believe it.

So, she came. So what?

You know what that means. Another park.
More red ink, more falsified accounts.

Arnold, if you don't like
the job, you should quit.

You know I can't do that
any more than you can.

Me quit?

No, I don't think so.
Didn't you hear?

The old boy's making me vice president.
He's gonna announce it tomorrow.

That's what he promised me two years
ago before he snatched it away.

He'll do the same to
you, Phil. Just watch.

The answer is no, Mr. Baldwin.

Don't be ridiculous.
This can't miss.

Horatio Baldwin presents J.B.
Fletcher's Mansion of Murder and Mayhem.

A panoply of blood and
gore, chills and thrills,

the screaming meemies in three octaves.

The kids'll love it.

The kids?

Well, who do you think
pays to see this stuff?

Don't you go to the movies?

When Cary Grant bowed out, so did I.

Violence.

That's what pays,
Mrs. Fletcher.

That's money in the bank.

No. That's disgraceful.

Oh, come, come, dear lady.

Why this moral outrage?

I've read your books.
We're in the same business.

No, Mr. Baldwin.
I write for people who read.

You apparently stage your
bloodbaths for tots

who have not yet learned
to differentiate between

your sordid charades and the real world.

There's quite a difference.
I'm not used to being refused.

Well, they do say a new
experience broadens the mind.

Excuse me.

I had the device put in to
keep unwanted visitors out.

I've never had to use
it to keep someone in.

Isn't that rather childish?

I can be a generous friend,
Mrs. Fletcher.

I can also be a devastating enemy.

You must be a terribly unhappy man.

What?
I had a student like you once.

He used to sulk and stamp his foot
when he couldn't get his own way.

I don't need your
dime-store psychoanalysis.

Perhaps not, Mr. Baldwin.

But you do need to unlock this door.

My niece's husband is a detective
with the city police,

and I won't hesitate to have you arrested
on charges of forcible detainment.

Very well, my dear lady.

But I can assure you,

this conversation is far from over.

Mickey, Mrs. Fletcher is going to
prove tougher than I suspected.

We're going to have to use your special
brand of research to turn her around.

Hey, Ned, you hear that?
Yeah. Sounded like a shot.

What's he doing here this time of night?

And where's Miss Bascomb?
Yeah. She never leaves until he does.

Yeah.

He's got it bolted from the inside.

Mr. Baldwin, are you in there?

Hey, Ned, what do we do?

Carlson's still here.
I better give him a call.

[Carlson] Yeah?
Mr. Carlson?

Yeah, it's Ned O'Brien with Security.

Um, I'm sorry to disturb you so late,

but, well, we heard a shot
in Mr. Baldwin's office.

We can't get in.
It's bolted from the inside.

[Carlson] What?
Well, break in the door!

Use the fire ax if you have to.

You do it now! I'm on my way!

He said, go in.

Oh, my God.

Is he...

I don't know.

O'Brien!

[Billy] You should have seen it,
Dad. It was really great.

Everybody thought the
guy really got hung.

Hanged, Billy. Drapes are
hung. People are hanged.

Bert, can I fix you another
hamburger? No, I'm fine, Jess.

I'll get it.

Hello?
Bert, it's for you.

Headquarters. Oh, come on.
It's Saturday night.

Gee, Aunt Jess, I sure hate to see
that other hamburger go to waste.

I'll just bet you would.

This is Donovan.

What?

When?

Yes, she's...
She's here, but...

Yeah, okay. I understand.

Bert, what is it?

Horatio Baldwin...
He's dead.

What?
Dead?

And the captain wants
to talk to you, Jess.

Me? Whatever for?
I don't know exactly.

All they said was that Baldwin committed
suicide. Oh, that's ridiculous.

They seemed pretty sure.
Well, they're wrong.

I met the gentleman and, believe
me, suicide was not in his plans.

Mrs. Fletcher. Captain Davis.
Thank you for coming.

I know it's an imposition.
Not at all.

Bert, we've already questioned
most of the employees,

but we can't locate the secretary,
a woman named Laurie Bascomb.

I want an all-points on her
immediately. Yes, sir.

Excuse me, Captain. That sounds
as if Miss Bascomb is a suspect.

Just procedure, ma'am. Then
Horatio's death isn't a suicide.

That's right, Mrs. Fletcher.
It seems impossible,

but now we believe that
Horatio Baldwin was murdered.

At 7:15, there were only a handful
of people still at work,

including Baldwin.

Now, this door was shut,
bolted from the inside.

Yes, he demonstrated the slide
bolt to me. Very formidable.

Well, the guards heard a shot. They rushed
to the door, but they couldn't get in.

On orders from Phillip
Carlson... Carlson?

Baldwin's right-hand man.
Ah.

They broke in the door. They found
Baldwin slumped over his desk,

a freshly fired pistol
in his right hand.

Watch your step, please.

As you can see, there are no windows.

We are 30 feet under the ground.

We are surrounded on three
sides by rock and dirt

Oh, and if you're thinking about
a hidden door, forget it.

The boys have been looking for hours.

Just a minute, Captain.

First, you said it was not a suicide.

Now you've proved it
couldn't be anything but.

Yes, ma'am.

The medical examiner says that Horatio
Baldwin took a blow to the head here.

And he's pretty sure
that it was the blow

that was the cause of
death, not the gunshot.

Uh, pretty sure?
Actually, he's positive.

Well, Captain, what you're describing,
that's impossible. I know that.

Well?
Hmm?

Mrs. Fletcher, in your books,

you have a way of creating
impossible murders

without their really being impossible.

And you thought I might
have a few notions.

Yes, ma'am, something like that.

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
Captain. I haven't got a clue.

Yes, good morning.
My name is J.B. Fletcher.

I'm scheduled on your 10:00 a.m.
flight to Kansas City.

I wonder, could I switch to a
later flight, if possible?

Yes, that would be fine.

Also, do you have anything
returning here this evening?

[Horatio chuckling]
Don't be afraid, my friends.

Nothing frightening awaits you.

Oh, perhaps a moment or two of
panic, but we did warn you.

Seat belts pulled tight?
That's good.

And now, just sit back...

It's not the tape. I already
checked that on another machine.

Must be something in the relays.

Mr. Carlson? Oh!

Mr. Carlson, you're a hard man to
track down. I'm Jessica Fletcher.

Oh, it's a...
It's a pleasure to meet you.

Horatio said you'd be talking to us.

This is Nils Highlander,
our construction foreman.

Jessica Fletcher.
We met fleetingly yesterday.

Did you manage to get your
problem straightened out?

I've got no problem, miss. I just do
my job the best I can, that's all.

Excuse me. I programmed my phone
to forward my calls here.

Yeah, this is Nils.

No. No. No, you wait.
I'll be right there.

Amateurs. For help, we've got amateurs.

Strange. Yesterday, he was ready
to throttle Horatio Baldwin.

Today, he has no problem.

You know, I find it hard to believe
what I keep hearing, Mrs. Fletcher...

that Horatio was murdered.

The police believe it's possible.

Believe me, it's not.

I entered the room not 30 seconds after
the security men broke in the door.

You could still smell the gunpowder.

And that door was bolted
shut from the inside.

No way anyone could have killed him.

Well, assuming that it was
murder, Mr. Carlson,

do you have any idea of
anyone who might...

Want the old boy dead?
Aside from me, that is.

Well, let me see.

There's his wife and
his business manager.

Madam Dracula and the
sleaze bag. That's two.

The bookkeeper, popcorn vendors,
a dozen or so groundskeepers,

the entire steno pool.
Shall I continue?

Well, I must confess that I didn't
find Mr. Baldwin as lovable...

as his publicity people painted him.

Face it, Mrs. Fletcher.
Beneath the Santa Claus smile,

beat the heart of a sewer rat.

Personally, I think Horatio
did the world a big favor.

But if it should turn out to be
otherwise, please tell me who to thank.

Excuse me.
I have work to do.

Afternoon, ma'am.
Help you with your luggage?

I don't have any, but thanks.
Y'all must be goin' to Kansas City.

It oughta be leavin' in about 10
minutes. Oh, thank you very much.

And, ma'am, that flight'll be
leavin' from a special gate.

I'll show you.
It's down this way.

Well, my ticket agent said
it was Departure Gate B.

Yeah, well, they changed it
around at the last minute.

All this construction, you know.
It's right this way, ma'am.

I think I'd better check the desk.

That won't be necessary,
Mrs. Fletcher.

We arranged special transportation
for you to Kansas City.

Well, thank you, Mr. Gardner, but
I've already made my arrangements.

Yes. And we've made ours too.

Please.
A gun? Surely you're joking.

On the contrary, I have someone who is
very anxious to meet you, Mrs. Fletcher.

Well, I'll accompany you, but not
because you're holding a gun on me,

but because my... my
curiosity is aroused.

There must be a rational
explanation for all this.

There is, Mrs. Fletcher.

I'm Erica Baldwin. Thank you
for accepting my invitation.

Oh, I never refuse messengers
bearing deadly weapons.

I'll tell the pilot we're
ready for takeoff.

Please, sit down.
Thank you.

Would you like a drink?
Oh, no, no, thank you.

Black is very becoming to you.

This? I only wear it
on special occasions.

Four husbands and four funerals?

You may be in danger of wearing it out.

You know my reputation,
Mrs. Fletcher.

My nephew Bert has been filling me in.

Mrs. Erica Baldwin,

one-time showgirl, now
America's wealthiest widow,

thanks to the untimely
demise of three...

Now four husbands.

Would it surprise you if I said
I loved Horatio very deeply?

Yes, it would.

Then I won't say it.

Since Mr. Gardner risked bringing
me here at the point of a gun,

I assume he feels a very
strong attachment to you.

For the past two years, Horatio chose
a celibate life, Mrs. Fletcher.

With Michael's cooperation,
I didn't.

I see.
I understand

the police aren't convinced my
husband committed suicide,

that they think he was murdered.

They're exploring the idea.

"They"? What about you?

I'm concerned about the fate of a very
nice young lady named Laurie Bascomb.

But if you've shanghaied me
here to persuade me to stop,

you're out of luck.

That's not it at all,
Mrs. Fletcher.

We seriously want you to continue.

As a matter of fact, we...
That is, Mrs. Baldwin

is willing to pay you $100,000 if you
can prove that Horatio was murdered.

I neither need nor want
your money, Mrs. Baldwin.

Then give it to the
starving orphans. They do.

I'm sorry. I'm confused.

Forgive me. As his principal
heir, Mrs. Baldwin,

I should have thought
that proving murder

would be the last thing
that you would want.

What I want is ready cash.

Horatio's holdings are
heavily mortgaged.

On the other hand,11 months ago,

he took out a life insurance
policy worth two million dollars.

And somewhere in the fine print

is a clause relieving the company of
responsibility if Horatio kills himself.

I told ya she was sharp.

So, you see, Mrs. Fletcher,

I desperately need you to prove
that the impossible was possible.

Ready for takeoff,
Mrs. Baldwin.

Please fasten your seat belts.

I don't have the faintest
idea how I could do that.

But you're going to try.

Oh, Jess, here you are. We've
been so worried. I'm so sorry.

I tried to call you several times from
the airport, but the line was busy.

Oh, Jess, we have company.

Laurie!
Mrs. Fletcher.

I wanted to call you.
I didn't know what to do.

Oh, it's all right, child.
No, it's not all right.

Horatio Baldwin is dead,
and I killed him.

Let's get one thing straight.

You did not kill
Horatio Baldwin.

But if I hadn't left him alone.

I was under orders to stay at my
desk until he left for the night.

And instead, you got into a
knockdown, drag-out fight.

Well, that only goes to
prove that you're human.

Now, Laurie, please, tell
us exactly what happened

between you and Mr. Baldwin
the night he died.

It was ugly, Mrs. Fletcher.
I wanted to quit.

I couldn't stand it anymore,
the way he used people.

He threatened me.
I begged him to let me go.

He said he was going to reveal
certain things about my past.

When he went back into his
office, I followed him.

He was acting like a madman,
taking delight in my desperation.

I could have killed him then and there.

I ran out of the room.
He followed me to the doorway.

He said I'd never work again. I knew he
had all the power, but I didn't care.

I just wanted to get away.
And all he did was laugh,

went back into the room,
shutting the door.

I heard the bolt slam into place.

That was about
a quarter to 7:00.

I swear to you, he was
in that room alone,

the door bolted, when I left.

You said he threatened you.
Do you mean blackmail?

We're not looking for details,

but if he was blackmailing you,

he may have had his thumbprints
on several other people as well.

He had files on
Arnold, Carlson, Nils,

all his key people, but I don't
know where he kept them.

I should say in his office.

All those security precautions.

He wouldn't hide them anywhere else.

Jess, we went over that
office top to bottom.

But you were looking for a door,
Bert, not a cubbyhole.

That's great.
Block it off there.

Now let's get that wagon
over against that wall.

[Bert] We've looked up
there several times.

Shh. I'm trying to
reason this thing out.

Try not to fall asleep.

Donovan!

Morning, Captain. I understand
you have the Bascomb woman.

Yes, sir, and I've questioned her.
Why haven't you arrested her?

Well, um...

Excuse me. So, uh, what's going on here?

We're searching for
Horatio's secret hiding place.

Lieutenant, you've searched
this room 12 times.

Nobody could've hidden in here.

[Bert] Not a person. Files.

Secret files.
[Carlson] What secret files?

[Bert] Don't give me that. You know
exactly what I'm talking about.

[Davis] Well, I don't.
[Bert] Blackmail, sir.

Baldwin had dirt on just about
everyone in the company.

It's how he kept their loyalty.

Now, Mrs. Fletcher believes the files
are hidden somewhere in this office.

Is that right, Mrs...
Jessica?

[Davis] My God, she's gone!

Bert, what would you say the
temperature is in here?

The temperature?

It's an even 68, controlled
by a central unit.

Uh-huh. Well, in that
case, why would a man

have a built-in thermostat on his desk?

What? Something?
Soot.

What are you doing?

Mr. Baldwin was an obsessive gadgeteer.

It seems to me if he
wanted to hide a secret,

what better place than
out in plain sight.

[Bert] Empty.
So much for suicide.

Whoever murdered Horatio stole
those files, faked the suicide...

And made his getaway through an oak door
sealed shut by a six-inch steel bolt?

No, Lieutenant, I'm sorry. I'm a
lousy audience for fairy tales.

I hope you'll excuse me.

We open in less than 48 hours,

and I've got a lot of work to do.

For a man whose career has
been steeped in illusion,

Mr. Carlson has a very closed mind.

[Davis] Well, Mrs. Fletcher, it appears
that you may be right about the files.

But that still doesn't bring us any
closer to solving the murder.

I'm not so sure, Captain.
True, we don't have the files.

But it seems to me that Horatio Baldwin

is hardly the sort of man who
would've done his own dirty work.

Right. He had someone working for him.

Someone who knew what
was in those files.

Now all we have to do is to
find out who that someone is.

Um, I have a reservation on
the 9:15 flight to Mexico City.

Megrim.

The name's Arnold Megrim.

Oh, yes, Mr. Megrim.
One moment, please.

Code five. Code five.

It's the guy we've been
waiting for. Terminal 2.

Here we are, Mr. Megrim.

First class to Mexico City.
Flight 366, leaving at 9:15.

Just this one piece of luggage, sir?

Uh, yeah.
I'll carry this one.

Hold it!
Hold it, there!

Get out of my way!
Get out of my way!

No! It's my money!
This is my money! It's mine!

This is mine! No!

No! It's my money! No!

I swear to you, Lieutenant.
That money is mine.

I earned it. Every penny.

110,000 in cash?

Ten years of my life.

My years of servitude
to Horatio Baldwin.

What about these, Mr. Megrim?

I never saw them before, Lieutenant.

I'm a bookkeeper, not a killer.

Well, according to these,
you're also an embezzler.

Eleven years ago, Felson
Brothers Mine and Foundry.

I never stole a dime from
that company. It was...

It was taken by Wanda
Perlstein, my associate.

Actually, she was more
than my associate.

She was...
What's the difference?

Mr. Megrim, I can understand you being
forced to stay by Mr. Baldwin,

but what I can't understand
is why you ran.

Well, I received a phone call.

It was a man, I think.
The voice seemed disguised.

He said the police had the files.

That they'd be picking me up.
I... I panicked.

And it was a phone call that alerted
airport security to search his luggage.

Lieutenant, I was wondering,
could I go now, please?

I left my little cat in
the care of my landlord,

but I... I really have
been worrying about her.

Sure. Just don't go anywhere
we can't find you.

How could I go anywhere?

You've got it all, every penny.

I don't know, Jess.
What do you think?

Well, for one thing, I just wonder
if this material is accurate.

I mean, for instance,
this file on Carlson...

That he ran off to Canada
during the Vietnam crisis.

I mean, that is not a
devastating revelation.

No, it's not.
There's another thing, Bert.

Did you notice?

One name is conspicuously
missing on that list.

Michael Gardner, the business manager.

A cat?
I must be losin' my mind.

What's a damn cat doin' up here?

Aw, come on!

Kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty.

What is this, a joke?

[Bert] Right. Got it.

Okay, thanks, Ray.

Morning. Mmm, you're sexy at
this hour of the morning.

You finally noticed.
You want some coffee?

I'll get it.

So what happened? Did
Gardner really kill himself?

Maybe somebody helped
him over the ledge.

There's no way to tell.

Ray did dig up a couple of things.

Gardner's name was really
Mickey Baumgarten,

an ex-private investigator
out of New York

who was Baldwin's private bloodhound.

We found some more stuff
in his apartment.

Wait till you hear this.

He was trying to dig up something
on your Aunt Jessica.

You're kidding? Who was next
on his list, the pope?

Probably.

Speaking of your aunt, where is she?

She went over to the House of Horrors

to take another look
at Baldwin's office.

I assumed you knew.
No, I didn't.

Damn.

There's a private line into that
office. What is that number?

It's 555-1998.

Anybody here?
Oh, Mrs. Fletcher.

Good morning, Ned. Your friend let
me in. I hope you don't mind.

Oh, no, ma'am.
How's it going?

Not very well, I'm afraid.

Geez. I, uh...
I wish I could help you.

I was right here, and, believe me,

there's no way it could've
been anything but a suicide.

I'll get that.

Hello? Yeah, this is O'Brien, Security.

Oh, Lieutenant. Yeah, she's, uh, she's
right here. Hang on. Mrs. Fletcher?

It's a Lieutenant Donovan.
You can take it in there.

I'll get it. Thank you.
Good morning, Bert.

Oh, don't be silly.
I'm perfectly all right.

Look Bert, would you stop
treating me as if I'm...

Well, all right, I'm...
Well, I'm leaving. Bye.

Ned?
Yes, ma'am?

Ned, those phones and
these phones in here,

they're all on the same lines, right?

Uh, yes, ma'am. 1998 and 1999. Yeah.

And if they're being used,

these little buttons would
all light up, right? Right.

And if someone were to call in
on 1998 and the line was busy,

it would automatically
kick over to 1999.

Right again.

So if I used 1998

to dial 1998,

the call would come in on 1999.

Sure. But why would you wanna do that?

Now, that light should
be lit, and it's not.

Ned, be a dear. Go in there and
pick up the receiver on the phone.

Okay.

Hey, this phone should be ringing!

Yes, I know.
Please, pick up the receiver.

Hello, Mrs. Fletcher? Are you
there? Yes, I'm right here.

Mrs. Fletcher, excuse my French,

but just what the hell is going on here?

Nothing significant, Ned.

I have just figured out who
killed Horatio Baldwin

and how it was done.

Yo!

Excuse me, Mr. Carlson.
Yeah, O'Brien?

While you were out,
Mrs. Fletcher called.

She'd like you to call
her at her niece's.

She said it was really important.

Thanks.

[Jessica] Hello?
Mrs. Fletcher?

Yes?
It's Phillip Carlson.

Oh, Mr. Carlson, thank you so
much for getting back to me.

I suppose you heard about
poor Mr. Gardner.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Tragic.

Well, apparently he had some
files that he had microfilmed.

Microfilmed?
Yes.

And I have reason to believe they are
hidden in the Tunnel of Horrors.

Of course, my niece's husband
thinks I'm bonkers.

Does he really?

Mr. Carlson, believe me,
I am not addled.

I know right where that microfilm is,

and so do you if you think about it.

An attraction that isn't
quite working right?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yes, I remember.

Could we meet with the
blueprints in, say, 40 minutes?

It will take that long
to get across town.

Yes. Sure.
Forty minutes.

I'll see you then.

Don't be afraid, my friends.

Nothing frightening awaits you.

Oh, perhaps a moment or two of
panic, but we did warn you.

Seat belts pulled tight?

That's good. And now...

Just sit back...

How wonderful, Mr. Carlson.
You've found our prize.

Mrs. Fletcher, you surprised me.

How did you get over here so quickly?

I just spoke to you from
the other side of town.

Oh, yes, I had the call
automatically forwarded

to a phone just a block from here.

But I don't have to tell you
about call forwarding, do I?

I... I... I don't know what
you're talking about.

Don't you? That's how you
killed Horatio Baldwin.

That, and a little misdirection.

Why'd you do it, Mr. Carlson?

Did he renege on a promise to
make you a vice president?

You're crazy.
Am I?

Whoever planted those blackmail
files on Arnold Megrim

would have first replaced his own file
with something less incriminating.

That's why you killed Gardner,

because he knew what Horatio
Baldwin really had on you.

That's why you have to
destroy that microfilm.

You're clever, Mrs. Fletcher.

Clever.

Guns, guns.
That's all you people know.

Baldwin. Gardner.
What's one more killing?

You can't expect to get away with
murder. But I already have.

[Bert] Freeze right there, Carlson!

Drop the gun.
Kick it to me.

Thank you, Mr. Highlander.
The illusion was perfect.

Good thing it was.

You got lucky, Mrs. Fletcher.

I didn't know about the microfilm.

Microfilm?
Oh, you mean this?

Oh, no. This is just a roll of negative
from my trip last year to Spain.

The key to the mystery...

A telephone that wouldn't ring.

The fact is that Horatio Baldwin
was not alone in this room

when O'Brien and the other
security guard heard the shot.

Carlson was here in the room with him.

But that can't be.
No?

Let me reconstruct what we believe

or, rather, what Mrs. Fletcher
believes, happened.

Jess, are you sure you don't
want to explain this?

Oh, don't be silly.
You're the policeman.

Well, jump in if I get this wrong.

After Laurie and Horatio fought
and she left, Carlson showed up.

Horatio let him into the office.

Now, they quarreled. Carlson had
been promised a promotion,

but Horatio changed his mind.

They struggled, and Horatio either fell

or was struck on the head,
killing him instantly.

Carlson panicked. He was the only
one working late that night.

He knew he'd be the obvious, if not the
only suspect, so he devised a plan.

He hurried back to his own office,

where he got the pistol
he kept hidden away.

Then he programmed the telephone

so that if a call came in,

it would automatically be forwarded
to Horatio's telephone.

Oh, and keep in mind what
he was wearing that day,

dark slacks and a dark
sweater over his shirt.

He returned to Laurie's telephone

and disconnected the
lightbulb under the button.

Then he moved into the
office and bolted the door.

Next, he disconnected the
bell on Horatio's telephone

so that if a call came in,

someone standing outside the
door couldn't hear it ring.

And, finally, he propped
Horatio up at the desk,

placed the gun in his hand,
the barrel to his head,

and squeezed the trigger.

The sound of the shot alerted O'Brien,

who rushed to the office, where he was
met by the other security guard.

Now, unable to get inside,

they did just what Carlson
expected them to do.

They phoned him for instructions.

They thought they were reaching
Carlson in his own office, but actually,

he was taking the forwarded
call here in Horatio's office.

Yeah?

Well, we heard a shot in
Mr. Baldwin's office,

and we can't get in.
It's bolted from the inside.

Well, break in the door!
Use the fire ax if you have to.

You do it now!
I'm on my way, okay?

[Bert] Then he hung up. He moved to
the shadows next to the bolted door

and pulled the black turtleneck
sweater up over his head.

In the darkness, totally dressed in
black, he was virtually invisible.

The guards broke in, but, of course,

they were focusing on Horatio
slumped at his desk.

Oh, my God.

[Bert] Classic misdirection.

They never saw Carlson exit the room
while their attention was diverted.

In the corridor, he quickly
got rid of the sweater,

turned and rushed back toward the
office, calling out as he did so.

O'Brien!

[Bert] The guards turned
as Carlson entered,

and the illusion worked perfectly.

To any reasonable person, there'd been
no murder. It had been a suicide.

You know, it might have worked

except for your medical examiner.

Yeah. It was nearly perfect.

Except in this case, nearly
wasn't nearly good enough.

I still wish you'd have let
me bring Carol and the kids.

Just to wave good-bye?
Oh, dear, no.

I hate public good-byes.

Mrs. Fletcher, I really don't
know how I could ever thank you.

Well, first, by finally
calling me Jessica,

and, secondly, by starting
that book you want to write.

Now, this afternoon is
as good a time as any.

Oh, wouldn't I love to.

But I'm afraid I have to
deal with reality now,

finding a job, paying the rent.

Incidentals. Erica Baldwin
gave me a little check

as a token of her appreciation,
don't ask me why.

Considering how shabbily
her husband treated you,

I think it's right and proper
that you should have it.

Oh, no, I... I couldn't.
Oh, but I want you to.

I've already endorsed it over to you.

There's my plane.
Good-bye, Laurie.

Send me a signed first edition.

Absolutely, and thank you.

And you, Bert.

Give the kids another hug
and a kiss for me. I will.

See you next year.
Okay.

Bye.