Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,000
# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,320
# Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
3
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,080
# Woeful wars, ferocious fights,
dingy castles, daring knights
4
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,760
# Horrors that defy description,
cutthroat Celts, awful Egyptians
5
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,560
# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes,
punishment from ancient times
6
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:13,880
# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
7
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,320
# Cavemen,
savage, fierce and toothless
8
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,040
# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages,
mean and measly Middle Ages
9
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,800
# Gory stories, we do that
10
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,360
# And your host, a talking rat
11
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,160
# The past is no longer a mystery
12
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,600
# Welcome to...
13
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:31,880
# Horrible Histories. #
14
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,680
NARRATOR: Empires.
15
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:37,160
Nations that conquer other nations
and take them over,
16
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,520
enslaving or crushing the people
as they go.
17
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,440
Like the Roman Empire.
18
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,520
Oi! Clear off! This is my home!
19
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,720
I am so sorry. I had no idea.
20
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,360
Oh, right. Fair enough, then.
21
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,760
Just kidding!
22
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,160
It's part of my empire now.
23
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,760
And, once you're the subject
of an empire,
24
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,640
you can kiss goodbye
to your rights...
25
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:56,800
Oh, come on.
26
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:57,880
..your money...
What?!
27
00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,520
..your natural resources...
Aagh!
28
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,240
..and, in some cases, your lives.
Aaaaaagh!
29
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,960
The Roman Empire
crushed all in its path
30
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,560
from Northern England to Egypt.
31
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,320
Yes, empires
become huge territories,
32
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,440
each under one supreme ruler,
33
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,440
like the Persian Empire
34
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,840
that smashed its way from Greece...
35
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,360
..to India,
36
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,360
and Luxembourg's
Luxembourgish Empire...
37
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,680
Hang on.
38
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,720
Aah!
39
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,120
No empire for you,
little Luxembourg.
40
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,320
You're not mighty enough.
Hmph!
41
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:30,200
Unlike Spain's empire
42
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,520
that was so powerful
43
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,160
it destroyed other empires,
44
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,520
like the Aztecs and the Incas
in the Americas.
45
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,520
And what about Belgium's
colonial empire in Central Africa?
46
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,640
They brutally forced Africans
47
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,720
to work for them
48
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,920
and killed anyone
49
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,120
who stood in their way.
50
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,600
Hang on. What's happening here?
Huh?!
51
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,440
No, you're too small, Luxembourg!
52
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,080
And, at the head of empires,
emperors and empresses.
53
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,280
Like Emperor Napoleon of France,
54
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,760
Alexander the Great
of the Macedonian Empire...
55
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,080
..and finally,
56
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,680
empress of the largest empire
57
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,480
the world has ever known,
58
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:06,680
Queen Victoria
59
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,440
and her British Empire.
60
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,480
Whoo! Yeah! Go, me!
61
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,480
Me and all the other powerful
emperors and empresses
62
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,040
throughout history.
(WHISTLES CASUALLY)
63
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,240
Not you, Luxembourg.
Oh.
64
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,920
Yeah, it's good to rule an empire,
65
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,680
loved universally
by all your conquered people.
66
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,720
(JEERING)
MAN: Rubbish!
67
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:27,600
Strange. Is it possible that
not everyone likes being conquered?
68
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,880
Why not?
Weird.
69
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,040
Welcome to the rise and fall
70
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,880
of Enormous Empires.
71
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,120
So, empires are basically
powerful nations
72
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,680
that keep taking over
less powerful ones.
73
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,840
Alexander the Great's
massive Macedonian empire
74
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,080
stretched across three continents,
75
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:51,240
and his brilliant battle tactics
saw him conquer more and more land.
76
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,600
Nothing seemed to slow him down.
77
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,760
Well, almost nothing.
78
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,240
Hm.
79
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,600
NARRATOR: It's 329 BC,
80
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,240
and Alexander the Great
is seeking to expand his empire
81
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,840
further into Asia.
82
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,160
For Alexander...the Great!
83
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,360
For the Macedonian Empire!
84
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,600
(STOMACH RUMBLES)
Oh...
85
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,480
(STOMACH GURGLES)
(FARTS)
86
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,760
Um, you guys, uh...carry on.
87
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,080
(FARTS) Oh, no!
88
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,720
(FARTS SLOPPILY) Ohh...
89
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,320
What are you doing, sir?
90
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,480
Uh, nothing! Carry on! (FARTS)
91
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:27,760
Ugh. It's stopped.
92
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,840
As I was saying,
for the Macedonian Empire!
93
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,680
Sorry, sir - what was that?
What was what?
94
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,480
You running off mid-battle. Is this
one of your brilliant strategies?
95
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,280
Uh... Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
96
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,520
Like that time we were fighting
97
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,360
on a day that the calendar
said was unlucky,
98
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,280
so you changed the calendar!
99
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,080
BOTH: Huzzah!
Yeah.
100
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,520
What's your brilliant strategy
this time?
101
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,520
Um...
102
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,280
Are you meeting with secret allies
behind the bush?
103
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,600
Are there hidden troops back there?
Oh, no, no. Don't look.
104
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,960
Just, uh, part of my
secret, hidden strategy.
105
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,560
(STOMACH GURGLES)
(FARTS)
106
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,920
I feel another strategy...coming on!
107
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,280
(FARTS NOISILY)
Aaaagh!
108
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,880
Just carry on fighting!
Yeah... Eugh.
109
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,560
(FARTS SLOPPILY)
110
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,680
It's OK. I'm fine.
111
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,600
We all heard the poo noise.
112
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,840
Even we heard the poo noise,
and we're on the other side!
113
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,120
Alright! Fine!
Euuggh!
114
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,720
I didn't want to tell you guys,
alright,
115
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,160
but I may have drunk
some dodgy water
116
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,120
because I've got, like,
a teeny bit of diarrhoea.
117
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,520
(FARTS WETLY)
Oh, no! Ew!
118
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,600
Don't overreact.
119
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,600
I knew I smelled something
when we were crossing the river!
120
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,280
You said it was
just funny-smelling mud.
121
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,920
(FARTS SLOPPILY) Ohhh.
122
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,960
it's like a waterfall
coming out of my bum.
123
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,240
Oh, come on!
124
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,600
(GRUNTS)
125
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,440
Men! The Scythians are retreating.
126
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,480
The day is ours!
127
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,200
Huzzah!
128
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,360
Come, let us embrace. (FARTS)
129
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,440
Uh...actually, I, uh...
130
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,360
..think I lost my sword somewhere,
so I'll probably go look for that.
131
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,000
Well, it'll be here among the dead.
132
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,640
(FARTS) Come, let us search
together. (FARTS LOUDLY)
133
00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,640
Actually, I've got...
134
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,160
..I've got a huge battle tomorrow,
so I, uh...
135
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,040
(FAKES YAWN) ..I might have...
I might have an early night.
136
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,160
Fine. I was, um... (FARTS)
I was washing my hair anyway.
137
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,480
Oh.
138
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,600
NARRATOR: Head teacher Ruth Thomas
139
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,880
has had to find a replacement
geography teacher
140
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:21,080
after Mr Napoleon declared himself
emperor of France and invaded Italy.
141
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,200
Welcome to:
142
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,840
I mean,
he's a huge historical figure,
143
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:30,440
but maybe a Mongol warlord shouldn't
be put in charge of 11-year-olds.
144
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,600
I'm gonna keep an eye on this one.
145
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,680
Class 7F's new geography teacher
is Genghis Khan.
146
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,840
CLASS: Good morning,
Mr Genghis Khan.
147
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,160
You know, I had
a tough life growing up.
148
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,560
My family lost their home
149
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,720
when my dad was killed
by another tribe.
150
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,040
I dedicated myself
to protecting my family
151
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,000
and bringing
the Mongol clans together
152
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,880
so there would never be fighting
between us again.
153
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,000
I'll leave you to it.
154
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,720
One of the ways
I brought the clans together
155
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,320
was by killing the other leaders!
156
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,880
Did I mention I also killed my own
brother over a hunting rifle?
157
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,200
Maybe write that down too.
158
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:09,400
Mr Genghis Khan is a bit more
violent than our usual teachers.
159
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,600
Apart from Mr Johnson.
160
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,400
He threw a pencil at Josie Hillage.
161
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,640
Now, who knows what this country is?
China.
162
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,000
No. That's part of my Mongol Empire.
163
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,040
And what about this one?
Iran.
164
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,080
Nope. That's mine too.
165
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,120
And that's mine. And that's mine.
That's mine. That's mine.
166
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,320
In just 25 years, I conquered
more lands than the Romans did
167
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,960
in their whole history!
168
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,480
What's wrong, young man? Cheer up.
169
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,040
I'll let you drink some
horse blood at break time.
170
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,720
CLASS: Eww!
171
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,760
What? It'll make you strong.
172
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,520
Will it make me as strong
as Kit Land from 7D?
173
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,600
He picks on me.
174
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,720
Where is this land of the 7D
you speak of?
175
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,080
MRS THOMAS: I think I may have
misjudged Mr Genghis Khan.
176
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:50,400
Sorry to bother you. Uh, class 7F
have just invaded 7D.
177
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,880
Um, excu... Uh...
178
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,920
Sorry.
179
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,480
Mr Genghis Khan, we do not allow
violence in this school.
180
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,440
Please make sure
it doesn't happen again.
181
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,840
No more violence. Got it.
182
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:06,320
Come on, children. Shuffle, shuffle.
183
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,520
One way to avoid violence
184
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,360
is to utterly destroy
your enemy cities!
185
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,720
Who wants to burn down the canteen?!
CLASS: Yeah!
186
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,160
NARRATOR: Mr Genghis Khan
has not been asked back.
187
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:23,600
And Mrs Thomas is once again looking
for a new geography teacher.
188
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,280
Ooh, tomato juice.
189
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,280
And a new canteen.
190
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,920
But that's tomorrow's problem,
191
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,040
here on Historical Educating.
Ack! Ack!
192
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,680
You might think being
an emperor is easy,
193
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,000
and that once you've got
all the conquering out of the way,
194
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,680
you can just sit back and chill.
195
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:44,040
Well, bad luck, because keeping hold
of power is hard work.
196
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:48,040
Take Emperor Justinian II,
ruler of the Byzantine Empire.
197
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,520
He got overthrown,
had his nose cut off,
198
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,520
and was banished from his home.
199
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,560
Then ten years later, he
was back on the throne.
200
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,720
Picture the scene.
201
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,880
You're Justinian II,
202
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,600
ruler of the Byzantine Empire.
203
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,720
It's kind of a continuation
of the Roman Empire,
204
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:10,360
but based here in Constantinople
instead of here in Rome.
205
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,720
Things are going great
when suddenly...
206
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,880
Ahh!
..this happens.
207
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,640
My rival's stolen my throne.
208
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,320
And cut off my nose
209
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,680
so that no one would ever
let me be emperor again.
210
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:25,080
Uh-oh. Having no nose is a big no-no
for a Byzantine emperor.
211
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,480
They're expected to look physically
perfect, like gods.
212
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,640
Whoa! What happened, man?
213
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,520
You pick your nose with an axe?
214
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,080
Some emperor YOU'D be!
215
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,120
I guess there's nothing I can do.
216
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,240
Not so fast.
217
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,160
Here at Byzantium Bling,
we've got the solution for you.
218
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,480
A golden nose!
219
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,680
Wow, it's so shiny!
220
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,280
And heavy. Whoa.
221
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,240
I've got a nose again.
222
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,560
And it's not just per...perfect,
it's solid gold.
223
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:52,960
Now no-one can say
224
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,000
you don't look good
enough to rule again.
225
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,240
Hey, great 24-carat conk!
226
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,920
You can rule over my empire
at any time.
227
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,800
Thanks, Byzantium Bling.
228
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,720
Order your golden schnoz today,
229
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,000
and Byzantium Bling will throw
in a free set of imperial robes.
230
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,280
Wow!
231
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,760
Get your golden nose
at Byzantium Bling today.
232
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,880
My emperor's got no nose!
233
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,280
How does he smell?
234
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,640
Fabulous.
235
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,160
Ohh!
(THUMP!)
236
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,480
No refunds.
237
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,560
(LAUGHS)
238
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,200
Make way for Qin Shi Huang,
239
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,800
the first and probably only
emperor of China,
240
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,960
for he will live forever thanks to
the magic potion he's been drinking.
241
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,760
He's in the prime of life!
242
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,960
Sir, the Emperor's
been very quiet in there.
243
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,560
Do you think you should
check on him?
244
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:42,400
OK. He's probably just thinking
about how healthy he is.
245
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,640
Yep. Still dead.
246
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,440
He's fine. Off we go.
Really?
247
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,520
Yeah. He's just got a sore
throat, so he can't talk.
248
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,720
May I see?
249
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,840
Yes, Your Majesty? He says no.
250
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,400
I thought you said he couldn't talk.
251
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,320
He said it with his eyes. Off we go!
252
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,120
If the Emperor is ill,
253
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:09,400
then shouldn't we call
for his oldest son, Fusu?
254
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,440
No, we are not calling for Fusu.
255
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,520
I know you don't get on with him
256
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,960
and, yes, he will sack you
if he takes charge, but...
257
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,640
The Emperor is perfectly healthy.
258
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,640
Well, the Emperor
did write this letter
259
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,200
that says Fusu should take over
if he were to die.
260
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,000
We don't need that.
The Emperor is full of beans.
261
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,040
In fact...
262
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,480
Uh-huh. Yeah. Mm-hm. Uh-huh. Yeah.
263
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,880
The Emperor says destroy the silly
letter and carry on with the parade,
264
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,440
which he will enjoy quietly
from inside his litter.
265
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:47,920
Oh, what's that smell?
That will be the fish.
266
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,520
The Emperor never goes anywhere
without his lucky cart of fish.
267
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,080
That smells awful.
268
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,560
So? It's not like
it's the kind of... (GAGS) ..smell
269
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,840
you'd use to cover up the stink
of a dead body or anything.
270
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,440
Are you sure he's OK in there?
Oh, fine.
271
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,720
I'll go and get him.
272
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,520
Come on, sire. Out you pop.
273
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:11,160
(MIMICS EMPEROR) I want you to write
a new letter telling Fusu I hate him
274
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,640
and that he should
stab himself to death.
275
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,280
Well, if you insist, sire.
276
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:20,040
OK, let's get this tour back on the
road before everything falls apart.
277
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,120
(QUIETLY) Including the Emperor.
278
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:27,280
Make way for Qin Shi Huang of China,
who's feeling great!
279
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,280
Running a truly massive empire
isn't easy,
280
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,880
and every empire that rises
must one day fall.
281
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,560
Even the most famous empires of all.
282
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:40,280
Take the Roman Empire.
283
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,360
It existed for hundreds of years,
284
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:47,600
invading and taking over large parts
of Europe, Africa and Asia.
285
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,880
But they got
a taste of their own medicine
286
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:55,520
when Attila the Hun and his nomadic
Hunnic Empire decided to invade.
287
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,160
Ooh!
288
00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:02,120
Hi, guys. You know, life in Attila's
Hunnic Empire can be so hectic.
289
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,880
But guess what? All that rush
is no reason not to look plush.
290
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,640
That's why today we're here
291
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,920
with our friend from
the Roman Empire, Octavius.
292
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,880
Octavius, come on in.
I can't. You've tied me to a tree.
293
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,880
You know, we Huns
are always making friends
294
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,560
by attacking the Roman Empire
295
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,680
and taking their Roman people away
against their will.
296
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,520
Can you untie me, please?
297
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,840
They get to join our big multiracial
Hun clan!
298
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,000
Or die.
299
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,760
Octavius of Rome, we're gonna put
the hip in your hippodrome
300
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,160
and make you a Hun.
301
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,800
(GROOVY DANCE MUSIC)
302
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,800
You guys in the Roman Empire
303
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,400
may call our leader, Attila,
the Scourge of God,
304
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,080
but you guys are definitely
the scourge of fashion.
305
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,040
Bleah! Honey,
where did it all go wrong?
306
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,040
It went wrong when you guys invaded
307
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,560
and burned down my town.
308
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,800
(CHUCKLES)
Makeover time!
309
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,440
Let's start with, like, a simple,
basic Hunnic head stretch.
310
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,440
Sorry, did you say stretch?
That's right.
311
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,000
We're gonna wrap your head
so tightly in bandages
312
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,600
that it stretches
and goes all pointy like ours.
313
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,400
And all that facial hair
is going to come right off.
314
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,320
Aw, we wouldn't really use that.
315
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,400
No way!
316
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,960
We're gonna burn it off.
317
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,160
Yay!
318
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,600
Please don't burn me.
319
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,480
Aw. You OK, hun?
320
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,080
So, I've been thinking
mainly leathers and animal skins.
321
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,320
They're warm, they're hard-wearing,
and they look fantastic.
322
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,280
On someone with muscles.
323
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,480
Oh! talk about a Roman SADiator,
am I right?
324
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,640
And what better way to get fit
than by fighting a bear?
325
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,400
Fighting a what?
326
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,320
OMG, you got a bear. That is so you.
327
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,320
It is.
Help!
328
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,120
(BEAR GROWLING)
329
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,480
Oh, talk about being a barBEARian.
(SCREAMS)
330
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,840
Aww.
I think that bear really likes him.
331
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,840
Ahh! Not the face!
332
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,640
When we met Octavius,
he was living happily
333
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,160
with his family
inside the Roman Empire.
334
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,080
Whatever.
335
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:16,280
But now this Roman's gone
from emperor zero to Hunnic hero.
336
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,960
Octavius! Hun, you look fierce!
Rraow!
337
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,800
Yeah. I'm furious!
338
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,000
Look what you've done to my head!
339
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,120
Work it, twerk it, strike a pose!
340
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,600
And now the big question is,
341
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,960
are you going to come pillaging with
us as we burn our way across Europe?
342
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,600
Or are we going to have to, like,
kill you or something?
343
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,200
Let's go raid the Roman Empire, hun.
Yay!
344
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,480
Let's all dance
and then eat raw meat.
345
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,440
See you next time.
Whoo!
346
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,280
The British Empire was
the biggest of them all.
347
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,120
But it started life small -
348
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,160
hundreds of years
before "Britain" had even existed -
349
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,560
when Queen Elizabeth I
350
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,760
granted a royal charter
to the East India Company,
351
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,480
meaning they could travel the world
352
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,440
searching for treasures
they could sell back home.
353
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,520
They brought lots of fancy new items
back to England,
354
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,400
like tea, cotton and silk
and delicious spices,
355
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,440
which made them all very rich.
356
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,560
It was trips like these
that led Britain to become richer
357
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,280
at the expense of
the countries they'd visited,
358
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:20,440
but that didn't mean those early
trips were ALL successful.
359
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,720
Coming soon,
360
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,920
a band of plucky adventurers
take to the high seas.
361
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,760
With the backing of Queen Elizabeth,
362
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,240
our small fleet of mighty ships
will make history.
363
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,480
The Red Dragon, the Hector,
the Ascension
364
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,160
and the Susan.
365
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,680
Still wish we got a cooler-sounding
fourth boat.
366
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,160
Yeah. Me too.
367
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,240
Loose the topsails!
Nothing can stop us now.
368
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,280
Actually, it's a bit windy.
369
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,760
Right, back to port.
370
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,920
When they eventually
set out two months later,
371
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,040
it went really, really well.
372
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,280
(VOMITS)
373
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,680
It'll take more than a little
sickness to get this crew down.
374
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,760
They laugh in the face of...
I can't take it anymore!
375
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,760
(CRIES OUT)
(SPLASH!)
376
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,360
Did someone just jump off the boat?
377
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,240
I think it's fair to say
morale is a little low.
378
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,760
(VOMITS)
379
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,760
Starring the commander of the fleet,
James Lancaster,
380
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:21,120
who will lead his men
to foreign treasures in the east.
381
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,480
Behold our Indonesian treasure.
382
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,080
Now we can go home.
383
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,040
Dirtiest-looking diamond
I've ever seen.
384
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,520
These aren't diamonds.
This is pepper.
385
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,960
Worth its weight in gold at home,
and now we've got a whole boatful!
386
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,000
(SNEEZES)
387
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,880
(SNEEZES)
(ALL SNEEZE)
388
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,360
But the journey home isn't easy.
389
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:46,320
The Red Dragon... (SNEEZES)
..is so badly damaged
390
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:50,480
that we'll have to... (SNEEZES)
..tow her home with the Hector.
391
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,000
(SNEEZES) Oh...
392
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,920
Sneezed a bit of wee out.
393
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:58,520
Finally, our adventurers return home
to a new king.
394
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,480
Your Majesty, we bring you
the treasure of the Orient.
395
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,600
Ooh. Excellent news.
396
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,640
It'd be good to get something
other than pepper.
397
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,480
We've got tons of the stuff.
Can't shift it.
398
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,200
Ohh...no!
399
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,600
Great. More pepper.
Just what we need.
400
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,640
Well, I'm not paying for it.
401
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,960
And I don't want you selling it
because I want to sell mine first.
402
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,360
So how are you gonna pay us
if you can't sell the pepper?
403
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,360
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(SNEEZES)
404
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:22,840
I'll pay you with...
(SNEEZES) ..the treasure.
405
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,480
(SNEEZES)
(ALL SNEEZE)
406
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,120
Coming s-s... Ah...
407
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,840
Oh, no. It's got up my nose too.
408
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,280
(SNEEZES)
(ALL CONTINUE SNEEZING)
409
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,880
The East India Company
sailed around the world,
410
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,960
grew in wealth and size,
411
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,640
and 200 years later was more powerful
than some countries.
412
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,640
This laid the groundwork
for the British Empire,
413
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,360
which ended up
taking over countries entirely
414
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,960
and forcing its ideas and rules
on the local people.
415
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,120
And that didn't make
the Empire very popular.
416
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,880
Mm-mm-mm.
417
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,680
Now, gentlemen, in precisely one
minute's time, we're going to march
418
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,040
as British soldiers...
(STOMACHS GROWL, FARTING)
419
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,240
..fighting for the East India
Company into battle at Seringapatam.
420
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,240
How do you like that?
421
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,800
Any chance we could do it tomorrow,
Colonel?
422
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,160
(FARTING)
No, we cannot do it tomorrow.
423
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,480
We're doing it today.
424
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,600
(WEAKLY) Can we have this
conversation in the shade, sir?
425
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,440
I think my hat has cooked my head.
No, we cannot talk in the shade.
426
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,920
A British soldier
stands where he must,
427
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,840
be that under fire, in the ice
or in the sun.
428
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,960
Is that understood?
(GROANS)
429
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,880
He must be very strong.
430
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,240
I think their leader
just killed a man with his finger.
431
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,640
Why are the British wearing such
ridiculously hot and thick uniforms?
432
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,400
If you're gonna march into someone
else's country,
433
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,200
killing anyone who resists,
434
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,200
least you could do
is dress appropriately.
435
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,480
We're struggling with the sun, sir.
I mean, we all are.
436
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,280
We're not used to it.
Or the fevers, or the water,
437
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,400
or the food. (FARTS)
438
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,640
Oh, sorry. I've got dysentery, sir.
439
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,400
(CONTINUES FARTING)
Oh, Hey! whoa, whoa.
440
00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,760
That was a close one.
441
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,280
I don't care if it's a bit hot.
442
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,440
I don't care
if you've got a runny bottom.
443
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,960
I don't care if anyone's got
a little bit of fever.
444
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,560
Lemons. Badgers. Soup fairies!
445
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,320
That's just fever.
He's seeing things.
446
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,600
(FARTING CONSTANTLY)
Ah, ah. Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Wow.
447
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,520
Promise I'm trying to keep them in.
448
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,920
(FARTING IN DISTANCE)
Can you hear gunfire?
449
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,520
(CHUCKLES) I think some of them
soldiers are dropping bottom bombs.
450
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,080
They can't handle food with flavour.
It goes straight through them.
451
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,640
It is a mystery
why they keep stealing food from us.
452
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,760
(FARTING)
When they finally leave,
453
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,800
it is going to take an age
to clean up after them.
454
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,440
And to rebuild
all the cities they burned.
455
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,360
(FARTING CONTINUES)
You lot are a disgrace.
456
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,800
Now, you need to be
ready to march...
457
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,880
March? I am standing dead still
and clenching my bum.
458
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,880
If I march,
there's gonna be carnage.
459
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,720
Well, perhaps you'd like
to be excused from battle today.
460
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,760
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(FARTING CONSTANTLY)
461
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,320
You shah of toilets!
462
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,600
The British Empire covers one sixth
of the world's land!
463
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,960
The British soldiers
are feared around the globe!
464
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:03,360
Do you really think a bit of heat,
gut-churning is going to stop us?
465
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,160
(FARTS) Ooh.
466
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,960
Yeah, might slow us down, actually.
467
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,240
(FARTS WETLY) Oh!
468
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,320
Gonna need a new uniform.
469
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,600
I just can't believe
we're losing this war to these guys.
470
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,640
They'll go eventually.
They'll have to.
471
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,640
They'll run out of underwear.
(FARTING IN DISTANCE)
472
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,640
(BOTH LAUGH)
473
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,920
Hello!
What do you want?
474
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,400
Well, I know you chaps
don't like change very much.
475
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,320
If by change you mean being invaded
by you, you're right. We don't.
476
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,280
Well, I actually have
some very good news.
477
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,000
Yeah? When are you leaving? (LAUGHS)
478
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,120
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
479
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,880
No, we're not going anywhere.
480
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,080
But I am bringing in
a new money system.
481
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,160
It's a special West African version
482
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,920
of the British colonial currency
system used across the Empire.
483
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,200
And we have it in Britain too.
Fun fact.
484
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,840
Now, Johnson, if you would.
485
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,240
Behold - a penny.
486
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,560
OK. It sounds simple.
487
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,280
Two halfpennies a penny.
488
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,480
And a tuppence is two pennies.
489
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,000
Thanks for explaining the coins.
490
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,000
Just getting started.
491
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,440
12 pennies make a shilling
492
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,200
and 20 shillings make a pound.
493
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,640
So, a pound is 240 pence.
494
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,760
If you do keep interrupting,
we will be here all day.
495
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,480
Wouldn't it be easier
if we could divide it all by 10?
496
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,880
And use the French decimal system?
How dare you!
497
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,920
Anyway... There's more.
498
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,200
One florin is one tenth of a pound.
499
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,280
Also two shillings.
500
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,520
There are five shillings in a crown,
501
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,680
so obviously there are four crowns
in a pound.
502
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,440
It used to be 21 shillings
to a guinea,
503
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,720
but we don't really use those
anymore.
504
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:29,720
21?
Yes.
505
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,360
A penny is also one d.
A shilling is known as a bob.
506
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,400
Thruppence is three pennies
507
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,440
or a threepenny bit.
508
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,240
Half a shilling is a sixpence
or a tanner.
509
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,760
Not to be confused with
the £10 note,
510
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,240
which is known as a tenner.
511
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,320
And a fourpence used to be known
as a groat. All clear?
512
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,480
Permission to lie down, sir?
Permission denied!
513
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,960
Can we not just keep using
the cowrie shells and the gold dust?
514
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,040
(SCOFFS)
It's much simpler.
515
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,560
Shells. Who uses shells to trade?
516
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:56,840
At times most of Africa, Asia,
North America and Australia
517
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,360
and the Middle East.
518
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,840
And I bet it's not as heavy
519
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,840
as carrying around all those coins.
520
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,080
Ah, yeah, well,
that's why we also have paper money.
521
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,400
Flexible and lightweight.
And easy to damage.
522
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,400
You can't use your paper money
around here.
523
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,080
The termites will have it for lunch.
524
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,360
Hey, give me that back!
525
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:14,600
It's got the king's head on it!
526
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,000
Not anymore it doesn't.
527
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,000
It's treason, isn't it?
528
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,600
Right. I want these termites shot!
529
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,720
I can organise
a really small firing squad, sir.
530
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,840
Yeah. Get a tiny firing squad here.
531
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,240
Look, look, look.
We'll take the coins.
532
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,080
Excellent.
And we'll melt them down
533
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,680
to make something more useful.
534
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,840
Jewellery, decorations,
535
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,760
maybe even a bum scratcher.
536
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,520
What?! You can't use the king's head
as a bum scratcher!
537
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,360
Why would you need a bum scratcher?
For the termites.
538
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,160
You're standing on their nest.
(SCREAMS)
539
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,360
May I have a bum scratcher?
I only take shells.
540
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,480
(LAUGHS)
541
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,680
I wasn't just Queen
of Great Britain, you know.
542
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,600
I was also head of
the British Empire.
543
00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:00,200
Look how big it was. Surely such
a huge empire would last forever.
544
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,080
Some chance. It turned out
quite a lot of people
545
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,960
were unhappy being ruled by us,
546
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,200
and many of them started fighting us
for their independence.
547
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,840
In India, Mahatma Gandhi came up with
a new tactic - not to fight at all.
548
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,520
He launched a series of peaceful
protests which were rather effective,
549
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,000
although of course
he didn't do it alone.
550
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,600
Namaste, Gandhi.
551
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:31,040
Sarojini Naidu here,
politician, protester, poet.
552
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,080
How's that vow of silence going?
553
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,280
I hear you're not going
to talk on Mondays
554
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,160
until India is free from Britain.
555
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:41,200
It's a powerful idea. I shall do
the same, starting right now.
556
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,280
How long was that?
(BUZZ!)
557
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:45,440
A few seconds? Uh...
558
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,760
Well, what can I say,
my ugly angel?
559
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,200
I like talking.
560
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,960
May I remind you
that I am a major figure
561
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,320
in the Indian independence movement?
562
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,200
So maybe lose the silly nicknames.
563
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,120
If the British
thought their prince's visit
564
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,440
was going to make them more popular
in India,
565
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,880
they have had a rude awakening.
566
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,880
Our strikes and closures
have shut the country down!
567
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,440
But we do need to organise
one of our peaceful protests
568
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:18,920
for Prince Edward's visit to
the Uttar Pradesh University.
569
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,920
OK, Gandhi. No more nicknames,
my little Mickey Mouse.
570
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,600
Don't worry about the prince's
visit to the university.
571
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,880
All the students are walking out
in protest.
572
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:33,800
It'll be so embarrassing for the
Prince and Britain when he turns up
573
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,400
and there's nobody there.
574
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,440
Hang on. Prince Edward
has just posted a story.
575
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,160
Good afternoon.
576
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,800
Except it is NOT
a good afternoon.
577
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,120
I have just visited
your university,
578
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:50,000
and I must say I am not happy.
579
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,560
As if your little walk-out protest
was bad enough,
580
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,400
the university governors are trying
to make it seem like the students
581
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,880
are still there by filling the halls
with Europeans
582
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,200
and children -
like this one!
583
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,320
Me, a child?!
584
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,400
I'm 59 and three-quarters.
585
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,080
I'll be writing to
the King to tell him
586
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,200
that this trip
cost millions of rupees,
587
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,720
and you have turned it
into a farce!
588
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,160
It worked! Yes!
The royal visit is a disaster.
589
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,280
We must keep the pressure up.
590
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,720
More burning of British imported
cloth, and more strikes.
591
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:21,920
More no talking on...
592
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,680
Oh. Oh, it's...it's Monday?
593
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,320
Oh, no, I...I shouldn't be...
594
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,080
That's it, Gandhi. We'll show them.
595
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,440
No more talking
until India is independent.
596
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:36,480
Go!
597
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,800
Is India independent yet?
MAN: No.
598
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,640
WOMAN: Shh!
Oh.
599
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:42,680
Oops.
600
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,520
Despite Gandhi
and his comrades' hard work,
601
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:51,800
India didn't gain its independence
until 1947.
602
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,600
Other countries also fought
to rule themselves.
603
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,920
And so the sun began to set on
the British Empire,
604
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,320
just as it had on
all the other empires before.
605
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,680
Here to explain more
is Augustus of Rome,
606
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,320
Napoleon of France,
607
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,320
and Britain's Queen Victoria.
608
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:11,360
# Augustus at your service,
heir to Julius Caesar
609
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:17,880
# I was the first Roman emperor
One of history's greatest leaders
610
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,040
# Beat all my enemies
I sure gave them what for
611
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:27,360
# Grew the Roman Empire
and ended our civil war
612
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:32,800
# When I departed, we just started
adding countries to the list
613
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,880
# No chance to reason
with well-armed legions
614
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,280
# How could they resist?
But
615
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,760
ALL: # Empires rise and empires fall
616
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,040
BACKING SINGERS: # Subjugation
617
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,080
# The same fate awaits them all
618
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,720
# Exploitation
619
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:53,920
# Invading tribes were a sign
of the Roman Empire in decline
620
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,120
# The writing's on the wall
621
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:00,600
# Rise and fall
622
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,960
# Napoleon Bonaparte
623
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,600
# First Emperor of France
624
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,280
# During the French Revolution
625
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,960
# My prospects were enhanced
626
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:19,800
# Grew the first French Empire
from Mali to Martinique
627
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:24,480
# Until Europe got together
and we were forced to retreat
628
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,800
# When I was boss,
3 million lives lost
629
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,360
# I brought back slavery too
630
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:35,120
# So those aggrieved were pretty
pleased when I met my Waterloo
631
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,760
# 'Cause
# Empires rise and empires fall
632
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,840
# Domination
633
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,400
# The same fate awaits them all
634
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,080
# Occupation
635
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,520
# I bit off more than I could chew
636
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,160
# Britannia, over to you
637
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,600
# The writing's on the wall
638
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,160
# Rise and fall
639
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,920
# By the time I came along
640
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,320
# My empire ruled the seas
641
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:06,720
# All around the globe
we founded British colonies
642
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,360
# But things started changing
and once one was off the scene
643
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,680
# People wanted freedom
Independence was their dream
644
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,120
# Empires rise and empires fall
645
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:22,680
# Liberation
646
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,920
# The same fate awaits them all
647
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,760
# Our own nation
648
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,560
# Taking other lands
to increase our size
649
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:31,760
# Never mind the cost
650
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,040
# Keep your eyes on the prize
651
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,520
# But throughout history
we've found
652
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:36,680
# Once you've reached the top
653
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,200
# The only way is down
654
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:42,880
# The writing's
on the wall
655
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,520
# Rise and fall. #50272
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof