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1
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CUTE BIKER: I like to get my
Christmas shopping done early.
2
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,172
Do you have anything
that's in the spirit of the season?
3
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,250
Uh... How about these crystals?
4
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,586
(CHUCKLES)
That looks like broken glass.
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,004
What are you, a COP?
6
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,714
Oh! What is that new thing?
7
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,633
Grunkle Stan?
8
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,217
Can we go to the diner?
9
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,804
We're hungry!
10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,605
Hungry!
11
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:25,726
(BOTH GROANING)
12
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,153
Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo
makes up his mind.
13
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,360
Do you have this in another animal?
14
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,945
I'm fine locking him inside, if you are.
15
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,364
Puma shirt, panther shirt.
16
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,870
-Puma shirt, panther shirt.
-(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
17
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,534
Puma shirt...
18
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:47,995
Panther shirt!
19
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,172
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
20
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,631
Shoo! Git!
21
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:37,928
(CHATTERING)
22
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,386
Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.
23
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,135
Go! Go! Go! Go!
24
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,850
(CHEERING)
25
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,603
(GLASS SHATTERING)
26
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,436
Lazy Susan,
there's my little ray of sunshine.
27
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,145
Where were you yesterday?
28
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:56,985
I got hit by a bus.
29
00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,115
(LAUGHING)
30
00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,283
Hilarious!
31
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,781
Thank you! (LAUGHING)
32
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,531
You do split plates, right?
33
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:09,494
Maybe! Wink!
34
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,338
Great! We'll all split
a one-fourth of the Number Seven,
35
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,837
plus a free salad dressing for the lady,
and a small plate of ketchup for the boy.
36
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,545
But, Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!
37
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:21,051
With the fancy flour
they use these days? (SCOFFS)
38
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,598
What am I, made of money? Tap-tap.
39
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,720
Aw...
40
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,724
-(CRACKING KNUCKLES)
-Don't worry, guys, pancakes are on me!
41
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,317
I'm gonna win some by beating
that manliness tester.
42
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:35,936
"Manliness tester?"
43
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,021
"Beating?"
44
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,906
(BOTH LAUGHING)
45
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,033
He says... He says he's...
46
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,569
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
47
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:44,950
What? What's so funny?
48
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,826
Oh, no offense, Dipper,
49
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:51,369
but you're not exactly
Manly Mannington. (CHUCKLES)
50
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:56,173
Hey! I am too Manly Manny...
Or whatever it is you said!
51
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,001
Look, face the music, kid.
52
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,587
You got no muscles,
you smell like baby wipes.
53
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:03,847
And let's not forget
last Tuesday's incident.
54
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:07,639
(SINGING)
Disco girl, coming through
55
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,891
That girl is you
56
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,723
(SHOUTING)
Don't come in, don't come in!
57
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:15,355
You were listening to girly,
Icelandic pop sensation Babba?
58
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,191
No! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I wasn't... It's not important!
59
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,865
Look, come on, guys,
I'm plenty masculine.
60
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,407
You see this chest hair?
61
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,452
-Put it away! Put it away!
-So smooth! My eyes!
62
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:26,953
Oh, man!
63
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,327
(BOTH LAUGHING)
64
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:33,662
Fine, family-of-little-faith!
Get ready to eat your words!
65
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,921
And a plate of delicious pancakes.
66
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:45,969
All right, Dipper.
Time to manhandle this man-handle.
67
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,267
And a one, and a two...
68
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:53,727
Quit stalling!
69
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,607
(DIPPER GRUNTING)
70
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,692
(STRAINING)
71
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,278
(BABY GURGLING)
72
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,034
Aw, what?
73
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,740
(SCOFFING)
This thing must be broken!
74
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,626
It's totally broken, guys!
It's like a million years old.
75
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,500
Probably ran out of steam power, or...
76
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,206
(CRACKING KNUCKLES)
77
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,758
It's rickety, man. You shouldn't even...
78
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,261
Yeah! Pancakes for everyone!
79
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,263
(ALL CHEERING)
80
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,096
(BOTH LAUGHING)
81
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,311
I need to get some chest hair, and fast.
82
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:37,937
-(CHATTERING)
-(GRUNTS)
83
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,895
I'm fine! (LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
Everything's fine.
84
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,860
Yeesh! How am I related to that?
85
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:48,364
Come on, Grunkle Stan. I'm sure
deep down you have a soft side, too.
86
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,914
Ha! Nothing in here but a cold,
dark, empty soul.
87
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,828
Food!
88
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,619
Thanks, there, sugar pot.
I mean, honey wasp.
89
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,420
Kitten baby. Baby, baby cow...
90
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,465
(LAUGHS) Silly! Silly man.
91
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,758
What was that about?
92
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:06,382
Nothing. I don't want to talk about it.
Talk about what? Why is this table wet?
93
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,804
Wait just a second.
94
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:11,301
I think I have
an idea happening here. You...
95
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,760
-STAN: No!
-And her...
96
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:13,889
-STAN: Stop it!
-(SCREAMING) Oh!
97
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,230
-Oh, boy.
-You have a thing for Lazy Susan!
98
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,141
You do have a soft side!
99
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,857
But... Keep it down, will you?
All right, I admit it, okay?
100
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,404
It would be nice if she liked me.
101
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,198
But I've been
out of the game for so long,
102
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,524
I wouldn't know where to start!
103
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,826
I mean, look at her! She's so classy.
104
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,530
Spin, you dumb pies, spin!
105
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:37,418
Grunkle Stan, you are
a cranky, gross, weird old man.
106
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,620
But we will get Lazy Susan to like you
107
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,081
because nothing is stronger
than the power of...
108
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,790
-Love?
-Mabel
109
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,335
To victory!
110
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:53,593
"Not manly enough."
Stupid diner. Stupid lumberjack.
111
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,723
(SPUTTERING)
112
00:05:56,022 --> 00:06:00,061
Another hydrant destroyed!
It's a gosh-danged mystery.
113
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,692
Wanna take off our uniforms
and run around in circles?
114
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,732
Quit reading my mind.
115
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,402
(BOTH SQUEALING AND GIGGLING)
116
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,153
Oh! I'm sorry,
I was looking for the mailman.
117
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,080
Oh! What, are you saying
I'm not a "male" man?
118
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,282
Is that what you're trying to say?
119
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,619
I'm not male? I'm... I'm not a man?
Is that... Is that what you're getting at?
120
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:20,794
Are you crying?
121
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,375
(WHIMPERING)
122
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,426
DIPPER: TWO,
123
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,002
(STRAINING) three,
124
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,340
(STRAINING) four...
125
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,720
(PANTING)
126
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,935
No chest hair yet.
127
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,060
Is it physical? Is it mental?
What's the secret?
128
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,436
You said it, brother! I need help.
129
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,816
(RUMBLING)
130
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,193
(ROARING)
131
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,149
(ANIMALS CHITTERING)
132
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,987
For the love of all that's holy, run!
133
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,747
(ROARING)
134
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,337
(THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS)
135
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,548
(SHRIEKING)
136
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:07,962
Wait, sorry.
137
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,135
Aah! (COUGHING)
138
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,346
(DIPPER GASPING)
139
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,895
(GROWLING)
140
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,522
(YAWNS)
141
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,114
Please don't eat me!
I haven't showered in, like, a week.
142
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:37,162
And I'm... I'm, like, all elbows!
Elbows and gristle!
143
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,748
-You
-(SHRIEKS)
144
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:40,995
Gonna finish that?
145
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,542
No.
146
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:43,789
(MUNCHING)
147
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,504
Can't believe it.
Part animal, part human.
148
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,002
Are you some kind of minotaur?
149
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:51,961
I'm a manotaur! Half man, half, uh...
150
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,386
Ha“ taut!
151
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,589
So did I, like, summon you or...
152
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,972
The smell of jerky
summoned me! Jerky!
153
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,097
(GRUNTS)
154
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,513
(ROARS)
155
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,103
(LAUGHS)
156
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,524
(SNIFFING)
157
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,863
1 smell (SNIFFING)
158
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,196
Emotional issues.
159
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,741
I got problems, manotaur.
Man-related problems.
160
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,159
-Well, my own uncle called me a wimp.
-(GRUNTING) Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
161
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,711
And I kind of flunked
this manliness video game thing.
162
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:27,916
Mmm...
163
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,211
Hey! You know, you seem pretty manly.
164
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,168
Maybe you could
give me some pointers?
165
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,468
Hmm. Very well!
Climb atop my back hair, child!
166
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,803
-(FLIES BUZZING)
-Uh... Okay.
167
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,010
MANOTAU R: Yes! Yes!
168
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,221
-(DIPPER GASPING)
-(MANOTAUR LAUGHING)
169
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,685
(GRUNTING)
170
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:47,899
Dude, watch out!
171
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,143
(MANOTAUR GRUNTING)
172
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,528
(SCREAMING)
173
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:54,990
Whoa!
174
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,738
(ALL GRUNTING)
175
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,155
This place is amazing!
176
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,456
The gnomes live in the trees,
177
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,410
the mer-people live in the water,
'cause they're losers!
178
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:10,418
But we manotaurs
crash in the man cave!
179
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,794
(some RINGING)
180
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:16,720
Beasts! I have brought
you a hairless child!
181
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,763
-'Sup.
-MANOTAURS: Huh?
182
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:23,014
This is Pubertor, Testosteraur, Pituitor.
183
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,641
And I'm Chutzpar. And you are?
184
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,226
My name's Dipper.
185
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,604
-(ALL JEERING)
-Weak!
186
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,026
The, uh, Destructor?
187
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,521
-Yeah, that's better.
-Yeah.
188
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,280
(some RINGING)
189
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:40,828
Dipper the Destructor wants us to
teach him the secrets to our manliness!
190
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,073
I need your help.
Look at this, guys. Look at this!
191
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,205
I must confer with the high council.
192
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,373
So, teach him our man secrets or what?
193
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,500
He's a human! I don't like him.
194
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,252
I don't like your face!
195
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,503
(BOTH GRUNTING)
196
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,130
(ALL GRUNTING)
197
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,721
-I like these guys.
-(MANOTAUR SCREAMS)
198
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:08,268
Okay, Grunkle Stan! Welcome to the
first clay of whatever is left of your life!
199
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,645
-First, a "before" picture.
-(SHRIEKING)
200
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,187
I never miss a scrap-book-or-tunity!
201
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,397
Diddlydum... Memories
202
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,033
Bleep. Let's start out
with some role-playing.
203
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,742
Soos will play Lazy Susan.
204
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,574
I'm soft, like a woman.
205
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,365
Grunkle Stan, show me
how you approach a woman.
206
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:30,039
Remember, this is a safe,
non-judgmental environment.
207
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,293
I'll just be right off to the side,
judging you on a scale from one to ten.
208
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,255
(SPITTING)
209
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,461
Can I borrow some money?
210
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,595
(MABEL BLOWING WHISTLE)
211
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,007
This is going to
be harder than I thought.
212
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,600
After a lot of punching, we have decided
213
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,520
to deny your request
to learn our manly secrets.
214
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,143
Denied! (GRUNTS)
215
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,723
Denied?
216
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,231
Okay. Fine. That's okay with me.
217
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,858
Obviously you guys think
it would be too hard to train me!
218
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,691
Maybe you're not man enough to try!
219
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,075
ALL: Huh?
220
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,777
Not man enough?
221
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,203
Destructor...
222
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,951
Not man enough?
223
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,248
He didn't mean it.
224
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:12,043
I have three Y chromosomes,
six Adam's apples,
225
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,338
pecs on my abs and fists for nipples!
226
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,883
Seems to me you're scared
to teach me how to be a man.
227
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,211
Hey, do you guys hear that?
It sounds like...
228
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,341
(MIMICKING CHICKEN)
229
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,548
Oh, that's weird...
(CLUCKING)
230
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,178
Is that...
(CLUCKING)
231
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,431
That sounds like... (CLUCKING)
Yeah, a bunch of chickens.
232
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,471
-(ALL GASP)
-(ALL WHISPERING)
233
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,018
I feel all weird.
234
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,975
He's using some sort of brain magic.
235
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,686
After a second round of deliberation,
236
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,405
we have decided
to help you become a man!
237
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,907
ALL: (CHANTING)
Man! Man! Man! Man! Man!
238
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:46,237
Great! Thanks, guys.
Whatever it is, I will not let you down.
239
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,780
(EAGLE SCREECH ES)
240
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,500
Being a man is about
conquering your fears!
241
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:57,673
For your first man-task, you must
plunge your fist into the pain hole!
242
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,924
-(ALL GASPING)
-The what?
243
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,345
Pain hole, shmain hole...
244
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,967
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
245
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,308
Are you sure this is really necessary?
246
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,143
You want to be a man, don't you?
247
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,942
ALL: (CHANTING)
Man! Man! Man! Man! Man! Man!
248
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,404
(DIPPER SCREAMING)
249
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:26,993
All right, let's try to get
that inner beauty on the outside!
250
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:28,573
Smile harder.
251
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:29,700
(STRAINING)
252
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,873
-Harder.
-(STRAINING)
253
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,667
Perfect. Soos!
254
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,831
-'Sup, hambone?
-What do you think?
255
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,501
(SCREAMING)
256
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:43,919
(SIGHS) This is going to take
some really great training music.
257
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,590
('80s SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING)
258
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,471
When a tiger roars
259
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:53,137
And the mountain cries
260
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:58,647
You gotta dream the dream
You gotta win the prize
261
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:03,443
You're gonna go the miles
You're gonna face the trials
262
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:08,117
Never miss out on the sights to see
You gotta believe your beliefs are real
263
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,495
Now you're drinking from a fire hydrant
264
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,698
Teach your uncle how to wear
a cummerbund
265
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,033
Now you're gonna jump a crazy gorge
266
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,540
Keep on shaving that hairy uncle
267
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,041
Uh...
268
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,373
I don't really know
what's happening in this part
269
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,253
Yeow!
270
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:27,929
Your heart's on fire
and the fire is in your heart
271
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,965
(YELPS)
272
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,304
Who wants to rub this on my back?
273
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,558
Guys, I just wanna say
that these last few hours have been...
274
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,105
I feel like there's
really been some growth.
275
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,812
I have a growth!
276
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,403
Glurk, you are hilarious today!
277
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,569
(SIGHING) It's just, you guys
took me under your wing
278
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,195
and have just been so supportive.
279
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:49,401
Oh, stOP-
280
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,826
No, you know what?
You really have been.
281
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,950
I feel like I'm finally
becoming a man here.
282
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:56,333
Not yet, Destructor!
One final task remains...
283
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,830
-Hey, quit it!
-You quit it!
284
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,837
The deadliest trial of all!
285
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,667
I've survived 49 other trials.
Whatever it is, bring it on!
286
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:05,967
ALL: Yeah!
287
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,934
Behold our leader, Leaderar!
288
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,274
(HUMMING WISTFULLY)
289
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,648
Is he, like, the oldest or wisest or...
290
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,274
Greetings, young...
291
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,106
(SCREAMING)
292
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,196
Nah, he's just the offering.
That is Leaderar!
293
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,529
-(OLD MANOTAUR SCREAMING)
-(GULPING)
294
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:39,000
You! You wish to be man?
295
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,168
(GRUNTING)
296
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:42,754
ALL: Yeah!
297
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:46,918
Then you must do heroic act.
Go to highest mountain.
298
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,302
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
299
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,424
(GASPING)
300
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:56,431
And bring back head of the Mum-Bear!
301
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,720
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
302
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,477
The "Multi-Bear"?
Is that some sort of bear?
303
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,274
He's our sworn enemy!
304
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:07,647
Conquer him, and your mansformation
will be complete.
305
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,274
Conquer? I don't know, man.
306
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,825
Destructor, is this yours?
307
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,366
Uh, no! I don't know whose that is.
308
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,910
I was just borrowing it.
It's friend's, not mine.
309
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,366
(ALL GRUMBLING)
310
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,620
I don't know about this.
311
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:21,747
Uh...
312
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:25,914
Hmm.
313
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,633
I shall conquer the Multi-Bear!
314
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,885
(ALL CHEERING)
315
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,680
(YELPING) I'm okay.
316
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,927
I'm coming for you, Mum-Bear.
317
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:19,393
Okay, Grunkle Stan.
You started like this, but you became...
318
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,095
Can I scratch myself now?
319
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:26,479
No! No, no, no!
Is that throw-up on your shirt?
320
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,234
I don't know how to answer that.
321
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,444
(SIGHS)
322
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,734
Face it, Mabel, your uncle's unfixable.
323
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,115
Like that spinning
pie trolley-thing in the diner.
324
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,778
Grunkle Stan, come with me.
325
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,863
And leave your pants at home!
326
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,117
With pleasure!
327
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,200
(BONES CRUNCHING)
328
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,874
What is a Multi-Bear?
329
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,956
(GROWLING)
330
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,634
(GROWLING)
331
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,336
Oh, that's a Mum-Bear.
332
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:57,425
(ROARING)
333
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,887
Bear heads. Silence!
334
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,718
(WHIMPERING)
335
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,475
Child, why have you come here?
336
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:08,524
Mum-Bear, 1 seek your head!
Or one of them, anyway.
337
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,022
There's like, what, six? Six heads?
338
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:13,526
This is foolish! Leave now or die!
339
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,240
So be it!
340
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,739
(ALL ROARING)
341
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:25,875
(SNARLING)
342
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,425
-Ha!
-(ROARING)
343
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,086
-(DIPPER PANTING)
-(GROWLING)
344
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:38,671
(DIPPER GRUNTING)
345
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,973
(ROARING)
346
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,019
A real man shows no mercy!
347
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,316
(SIGHING)
348
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,192
Very well, warrior.
349
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,735
But will you grant a magical beast
one last request?
350
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,399
Uh... Okay.
351
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:01,119
I wish to die
listening to my favorite song.
352
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,327
Tape is already in there.
You could just hit any...
353
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,871
Yeah, yeah, that's it. Press and hold.
354
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:11,129
Disco girl coming through
That girl is you...
355
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:15,296
You listen to Icelandic pop group
Babba? I love Babba.
356
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,548
I thought I was the only one.
357
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,219
All the manotaurs make fun of me
358
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,424
because I know all the words
to the song Disco Girl.
359
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,467
Oh, you mean...
360
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:25,268
(SINGING)
Disco girl
361
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,349
(SINGING)
Coming through
362
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,764
BOTH: That girl is you
363
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,438
Ooh ooh
364
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,602
(LAUGHING)
365
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:37,155
Oh! This is crazy. Finally, someone
who understands...
366
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:38,610
Oh, yeah.
367
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,989
I guess I'm supposed to kill you?
Or I'll never be a man?
368
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:43,619
I accept my fate.
369
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:45,530
No. Really?
370
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:46,911
It's for the best.
371
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,663
(GRUNTS)
372
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:52,454
(ALL GASPING)
373
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:53,629
I'm not gonna do it!
374
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:57,337
You were told the price of manhood
is the Multi-Bear's head!
375
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,546
Listen, Leaderar, all right?
You, too, Testosteraur, Pituitor, and...
376
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,803
I don't know, whatever your name is,
Beard y.
377
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:04,849
It's Beard y.
378
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,928
You keep telling me that being a man
means doing all these tasks,
379
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,854
and being aggro all the time.
380
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,474
But I'm starting to think
that stuff's malarkey!
381
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,149
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
382
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,856
You heard me! Malarkey!
383
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,734
So maybe I don't have muscles,
or hair in certain places.
384
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:22,442
And sure, when a girly pop song comes
on the radio sometimes I leave it on.
385
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,448
'Cause dang it, Top 40 hits
386
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,326
are in the Top 40 for a reason!
They're catchy!
387
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,532
Destructor! What are you saying?
388
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,039
I'm saying the Multi-Bear
is a really nice guy.
389
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,370
And you're a bunch of jerks
if you want me to cut off his head!
390
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,673
(GROWLING)
391
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:37,752
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
392
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:41,506
Kill the Multi-Bear or never be a man!
393
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:43,929
Then I guess I will never be a man.
394
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,385
(ALL BOOING)
395
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,549
Weak!
396
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,722
(ALL JEERING)
397
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,428
Lame!
398
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,932
Hey, guys. Who wants to go
build something and knock it down?
399
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:59,779
ALL: Man! Man! Man! Man!
Man! Man! Man! Man!
400
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,446
Spin. spin.
401
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:05,777
(BELL TINKLING)
402
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,789
Lazy Susan. Listen,
I know he's not much to look at,
403
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,700
but you're always
fixing stuff in the diner.
404
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,242
And if you like fixing stuff,
405
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,079
nothing could use more fixing
than my Grunkle Stan.
406
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,460
Also, women live longer than men,
so your dating pool is smaller,
407
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,132
and you should really
lower your standards.
408
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:23,136
So, Lazy Susan. (CHUCKLES)
What do you say?
409
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:28,057
(SIGHING)
410
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,519
Hey. Here's my number.
411
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,976
Why don't you
give me a call sometime?
412
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,059
-Really?
-Really! (LAUGHING)
413
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:42,318
Also, here's some pie.
On the house. For you.
414
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,323
(SQUEALING)
415
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,653
We did it! When are you going to call?
You want to call now?
416
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,658
I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone.
417
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,911
We can put it on a credit card.
Let's get a credit card.
418
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,117
Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?
419
00:20:57,006 --> 00:21:00,840
Dipper! It's me, Mabel!
I'm looking at you through the glass!
420
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:04,965
Right here. This is my voice!
I'm talking to you from inside!
421
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,214
-Did you see me through the...
-Yes.
422
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,390
What's wrong?
423
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,176
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Good.
424
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,477
It's just these half-man,
half-bull humanoids
425
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,350
-were hanging out with me...
-Here we go.
426
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:18,482
But then they wanted me to do
this really tough, horrible thing,
427
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,935
but it just wasn't right. So I said no.
428
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,313
You were your own man
and you stood up for yourself.
429
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:25,524
-Huh?
-You did what was right,
430
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:26,949
even though no one agreed with you.
431
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,528
Sounds pretty manly to me.
But what do I know?
432
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:33,744
Wait a minute.
Do my eyes deceive me?
433
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,540
You have a chest hair!
434
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:36,871
(GASPING)
435
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,168
You're right! I do!
436
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:41,293
(LAUGHING)
This is amazing! I really do!
437
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:44,092
Take that, man tester!
Take that, Pituitor!
438
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,216
-Pituitor?
-This guy has chest hair!
439
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,549
Scrap-book-or-tunity!
440
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,352
Don't worry, kid.
If you're anything like me,
441
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:55,808
there's more where that came from.
442
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,306
(CHUCKLING) Oh, gross!
443
00:21:58,484 --> 00:21:59,940
(ALL LAUGHING)
444
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,443
Seriously, that's disgusting.
445
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:04,896
(PHONE RINGING)
446
00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,230
Oh, not again!
447
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,738
(WOMAN ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Message number 36.
448
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:13,993
SUSAN: Hey, handsome.
It's me Lazy Susan, calling to say hi.
449
00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:18,418
Hi! My cats also wanted to say hi.
450
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:20,461
-Say hi, Donald.
-(CAT MEWLING)
451
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:23,005
-Good. Sandy, you say hi.
-(CAT MEWLING)
452
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:25,709
-Mr. Catface, now it's your turn to say...
-(CAT YOWLING)
453
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,589
-Mr. Catface!
-(CAT YOWLING)
454
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,346
-Anyway, call me! Call me back!
-(MACHINE BEEPS)
455
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:31,889
How do I get out of this?
32569
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