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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,961
MAN ON TV: I'm afraid your
services won't be required here, sir!
2
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,581
My men have examined the evidence,
3
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:10,670
and this is obviously an accident.
4
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,631
(QUACKING)
5
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:17,514
What?
6
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,392
ANNOUNCER: Duck-tective
will return after these messages.
7
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,721
That duck is a genius.
8
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:26,353
Eh. It's easier to find clues when you're
that close to the ground.
9
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,481
Are you saying
you could outwit Duck-tective?
10
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,404
Mabel, I have very keen
powers of observation.
11
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,448
For example,
just by smelling your breath,
12
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,446
I can tell that you have been eating...
13
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:39,996
(SNIFFS) ...an entire tube of toothpaste?
14
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,993
It was so sparkly.
15
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,496
Hey, dudes.
You'll never guess what I found!
16
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,872
-Buried treasure!
-Buried...
17
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,329
(LAUGHS) Hey, I was gonna say that!
18
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:49,838
So I was cleaning up
19
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,838
when I found this secret door
hidden behind the wallpaper.
20
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,636
It's crazy-bonkers creepy!
21
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:56,757
(HINGES SQUEAK)
22
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,309
Whoa! It's a secret wax museum.
23
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,220
They're so life-like!
24
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,767
-Except for that one.
-Hello!
25
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:06,893
(KIDS SCREAM)
26
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,938
(CHUCKLES) It's just me,
your Grunkle Stan!
27
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,314
(ALL SCREAM LOUDER)
28
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,446
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
29
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,861
Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum.
30
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,110
It was one of our
most popular attractions,
31
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,691
before I forgot all about it.
32
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,823
I got 'em all!
Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes,
33
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,576
some kinda, I don't know, goblin man.
34
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,873
(SHUDDERS) Is anyone else
getting the creeps here?
35
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:10,168
And now, for my personal favorite,
Wax Abraham Lincoln!
36
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:14,999
Right over... Oh, no, come on!
Who left the blinds open?
37
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,131
Wax John Wilkes Booth,
I'm looking in your direction!
38
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,964
How do you fix a wax figure?
39
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,934
Cheer up, Grunkle Stan!
Where's that smile?
40
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,431
-Meh.
-Bep bop hoop.
41
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,557
Ow.
42
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,221
Don't worry, Grunkle Stan,
43
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,141
I'll make you a new wax figure
from all this old wax!
44
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,609
You really think
you could make one of these puppies?
45
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,483
Grunkle Stan,
I'm an arts and crafts master.
46
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,111
Why do you think I always have
this glue gun stuck to my arm?
47
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,320
(GRUNTS)
48
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,152
I like your gumption, kid!
49
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,450
I don't know what that word means,
but thank you!
50
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,540
'Dipper!
'(COUGHS)
51
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,618
What do you think
of my wax figure idea?
52
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:54,372
She's part fairy princess
and part horse fairy princess.
53
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:57,583
Maybe you should carve
something from real life.
54
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,298
Like a waffle with big arms!
55
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:04,845
Okay. Or, you know, something else.
Like someone in your family.
56
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,427
Kids, have you seen my pants?
57
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,690
Oh, Muse, you work in mysterious ways!
58
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,608
Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?
59
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,413
I think it needs more glitter.
60
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:32,959
Ag reed.
61
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,247
I found my pants,
but now I'm missing my...
62
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,547
(SCREAMING)
63
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,626
What do you think?
64
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,425
I think the wax museum's
back in business!
65
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,640
I can't believe this many
people showed up!
66
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,693
I know, right? Your uncle
probably bribed 'em or something.
67
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:58,814
He bribed me!
68
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,065
(BOTH LAUGH)
69
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,281
(COUGHS)
70
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,908
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
71
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,908
You all know me, folks,
town darlin', Mr. Mystery.
72
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,118
Please, ladies, control yourselves.
73
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,532
(FLIES BUZZING)
74
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,377
As you know,
I always bring the people of this fair town
75
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,750
novelties and befuddlements,
76
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,210
the likes of which
the world has never known.
77
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,045
But enough about me.
78
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,798
Behold, me!
79
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:25,880
(FAN FARE PLAYING)
80
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,136
Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!
81
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,226
(COUGHING)
82
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,263
And now a word from
our own Mabelangelo.
83
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,431
It's Mabel.
84
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,266
Thank you for coming!
85
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,186
I made this sculpture
with my own two hands!
86
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:44,524
It's covered in my blood,
sweat, tears, and other fluids.
87
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,071
-Ugh!
-ALL: Ewww!
88
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:50,742
Heh heh. Yeah.
I will now take questions. You there!
89
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,868
Old Man McGucket, local kook.
90
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,580
Are the wax figures alive,
and follow up question,
91
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,787
can I survive the Wax Man uprising?
92
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,589
Um... Yes! Next question.
93
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,921
Toby Determined,
Gravity Falls Gossiper.
94
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,174
Do you really think
this constitutes a wonder of the world?
95
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,464
Your microphone's
a turkey baster, Toby.
96
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,804
-It certainly is.
-Next question!
97
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,556
Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter.
98
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,981
Your fliers promised free pizza
with admission to this event.
99
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,148
Is this true?
100
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,317
MAN 1: That's what I heard.
MAN 2: Come on!
101
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,644
-Unbelievable!
-What a rip-off.
102
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,194
Pizza? I want my pizza.
103
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,114
That was a typo. Goodnight, everyone!
104
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,566
(ALL YELLING ANGRILY)
105
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,368
(SIGHS)
106
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,990
In your face!
107
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,624
I'm not coming back here.
108
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,289
I think that went well.
109
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,416
Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash!
110
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I owe it all to one person.
111
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:46,714
This guy!
112
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,341
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
113
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:49,763
Yeah, you too, you little gremlin.
114
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:50,965
Now you kids wash up.
115
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,843
We got another long day
of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go! Go!
116
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,552
(SIGHS) Kids.
117
00:05:56,189 --> 00:06:00,649
Well, Duck-tective, it seems you've
really quacked the case.
118
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,358
(QUACKING)
119
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:03,769
(LAUGHS)
120
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,235
Stupid duck.
Well, I'm gonna use the john.
121
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:08,732
You need anything?
122
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,609
(LAUGHS)
123
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,363
I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere.
124
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,413
(WOLF HOWLS DISTANTLY)
125
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:17,783
(wmo WHISTLES)
126
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,964
Dipper, you wanna do
a toothbrush race?
127
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:27,918
-Okay.
-STAN: No, no, no!
128
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,798
Wax Stan, he's been murdered!
129
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,178
(GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMES)
130
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:34,641
(CHIMES)
131
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,184
(CHIMES)
132
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:37,853
(SWOONS)
133
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,312
(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
134
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,684
I get up to use the john, right?
135
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,771
And when I come back, blammo!
He's headless!
136
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:50,149
My expert handcrafting, besmirched.
137
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,405
Besmirched!
138
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,986
Who would do something like this?
139
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,075
What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?
140
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,701
Look, we'd love to help you folks,
but let's face the facts.
141
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,036
This case is unsolvable.
142
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,120
-What?
-What?
143
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,922
You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!
144
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,670
You're kidding, right?
There must be evidence, motives.
145
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,050
You know, I could help, if you want.
146
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,721
He's really good. He figured out
who was eating our tin cans!
147
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,806
All signs pointed to the goat.
148
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,181
Yeah, yeah, let the boy help.
He's got a little brain up in his head.
149
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,517
Whoo! Would you look
at what we got here!
150
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,061
City Boy thinks
he's gonna solve a mystery
151
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,734
with his fancy computer phone.
152
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,608
City Boy! City Boy!
153
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,530
You are adorable!
154
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,403
-Adorable?
-(BOTH LAUGH)
155
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,401
He's adorable!
156
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:38,368
Look, PJs, how about you
leave the investigating to the grownups,
157
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,493
okay?
158
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,165
MAN ON RADIO:
Attention all units. Steve is going to fit
159
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,789
an entire cantaloupe in his mouth.
160
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,249
Repeat, an entire cantaloupe.
161
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,750
It's a 23-16!
162
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:46,789
Let's move.
163
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,123
(BOTH LAUGHING)
164
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,627
That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to
find the jerk who did this
165
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,011
and get back that head!
166
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,464
Then we'll see who's adorable.
167
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:56,927
(SNEEZES)
168
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,259
Aww! You sneeze like a kitten.
169
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,185
Wax Stan has lost his head,
and it's up to us to find it.
170
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,228
There were a lot of unhappy customers
at the unveiling.
171
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:11,529
The murderer could have been anyone!
172
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,819
Gasp! Even us!
173
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,985
In this town, anything is possible.
174
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,245
Ghosts, zombies... Could be months
before we find our first clue.
175
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,947
Hey, look! A clue!
176
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,409
DIPPER: Footprints in the shag carpet.
177
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,086
MABEL: That's weird.
They've got a hole in them.
178
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,080
And they're leading to...
179
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,209
(BOTH GASP)
180
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,751
So what do you think?
181
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,962
In my opinion? This is an ax.
182
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:38,178
Wait a minute. The lumberjack!
183
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:39,470
-Of course!
-Of course!
184
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,093
In your face!
185
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,096
He was furious
when he didn't get that free pizza.
186
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,023
Furious enough for murder!
187
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,225
You mean Manly Dan?
188
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,986
Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy
intense biker joint downtown.
189
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,858
Then that's where we're going.
190
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,782
Dude, this is awesome.
You two are, like, the Mystery Twins.
191
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:56,992
Don't call us that.
192
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,036
(GRUNTS)
193
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,080
Hey, give me
a hand with this coffin, will you?
194
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,496
I'm doing a memorial service
for Wax Stan.
195
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,497
Something small but classy.
196
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,626
Sorry, Grunkle Stan,
but we've got a big break in the case.
197
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,710
Break in the case!
198
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,839
We're heading into town
right now to interrogate the murderer.
199
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,513
We have an ax!
(MIMICS HORROR MOVIE MUSIC)
200
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,843
That seems like the kind of thing
201
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,845
a responsible parent
wouldn't want you doing.
202
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,227
Good thing I'm an uncle.
Avenge me, kids!
203
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,726
Avenge me!
204
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,192
This is the place.
205
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,449
(GASPS)
206
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,276
Got the fake IDs?
207
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,912
Here goes nothing.
208
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,370
Sorry, but we don't serve miners.
209
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,956
Dag-nabbit!
210
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,588
We're here to
interrogate Manly Dan the lumberjack
211
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,961
for the murder of Wax Stan.
212
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,461
Deeche-eeche-eet.
213
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,801
Works for me.
214
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,545
MAN 1: Hey, get out of here!
MAN 2: Hey, come here, you!
215
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,339
-(PEOPLE YELLING)
-He hit me!
216
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,257
(GLASS BREAKING)
217
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:04,851
(FIGHTING NOISES)
218
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:05,973
MAN 3: My leg! Please!
219
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,687
He's resting.
220
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,109
All right, let's just try to blend in, okay?
221
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,861
You got it, Dippingsauce!
222
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,156
Hey there, fellow restaurant patron!
223
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,233
Bap!
224
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,863
(GROWLS)
225
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:22,952
(GRUNTING)
226
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,240
Manly Dan! Just the guy I wanted to see.
227
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,449
Where were you last night?
228
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,875
Punchin' the clock.
229
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,912
-You were at work?
-No, I was punching that clock!
230
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,544
10 p.m., the time of the murder.
231
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,343
So, I guess you've
never seen this before?
232
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,587
-Listen, little girl...
-Actually, I'm...
233
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,803
I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax.
It's left-handed.
234
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:47,306
I only use my right hand.
The manly hand!
235
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:50,764
Get him, get him! (GIGGLES)
236
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,395
Left-handed.
237
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,190
Three, four, five, six.
238
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:59,277
Oh! Your wife is gonna be beautiful!
239
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,448
Yes!
240
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,776
Mabel, big break in the case.
241
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,779
But will she love me?
242
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,450
It's a left-handed ax.
243
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,533
These are all our suspects.
Manly Dan is right-handed.
244
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,456
That means all we gotta do
is find our left-handed suspect,
245
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,787
and we've got our killer!
246
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,920
Oh, man! We are on fire today!
247
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,591
(IMITATES LASER BLASTS)
248
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,544
Let's find that murderer!
249
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,154
(WHISTLES)
250
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:55,412
(GASPS) Mabel!
There's only one person left on this list.
251
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,498
Of course! It all adds up!
252
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:58,957
(SIREN WAILING)
253
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,965
You kids better be right about this,
254
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,637
or you'll never hear the end of it.
255
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,681
The evidence is irrefutable.
256
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,475
It's so irrefutable.
257
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,602
I'm gonna get to use my nightstick!
258
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,099
You ready? You ready, little fella'?
259
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:13,563
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
260
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,316
On three. One, two...
261
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,189
Nobody move! This is a raid!
262
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,112
What is this? Some kind of raid?
263
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,154
Toby Determined,
you're under arrest for the murder
264
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,327
of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!
265
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,654
You have the right to remain impressed
266
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,036
with our awesome detective work.
267
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,456
Gobbling goose feathers!
I don't understand!
268
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,203
Then allow me to explain.
269
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,874
You were hoping
that Grunkle Stan's new attraction
270
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,256
would be the story that saved
your failing newspaper.
271
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,635
But when the show was a flop,
272
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,509
you decided to go out
and make your own headline.
273
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,133
But you were sloppy!
274
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,720
And all the clues pointed
to a shabby-shoed reporter
275
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,725
who was caught left-handed.
276
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,854
Toby Determined,
you're yesterday's news.
277
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:04,231
Boy, your little knees must be sore
from jumping to conclusions!
278
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,531
Ha-cha-cha!
279
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,734
I had nothing to do with that murder.
280
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,786
I knew it!
Wait, what did you say? Nothing?
281
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,113
-He said nothing.
-What? Could you repeat...
282
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,573
Then where were you
the night of the break-in?
283
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:14,791
Um...
284
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,503
Finally, we can be alone,
285
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:22,834
cardboard cut-out of female news
reporter, Shandra Jimenez!
286
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,384
(SMOOCHES)
287
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,219
-Ew!
-Yuck!
288
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,837
Time-stamp confirms it.
289
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,640
Toby, you're off the hook,
you freak of nature.
290
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:31,762
Hurray!
291
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,720
But it has to be him!
Check the ax for fingerprints!
292
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,313
No prints at all.
293
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:38,807
No prints?
294
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,643
I got a headline for you.
295
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:43,194
"City kids waste everyone's time!"
296
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,942
(LAUGHING)
297
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:50,569
Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed
if I was you two!
298
00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:01,751
Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures,
thank you all for coming.
299
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:02,922
(BLOWS NOSE)
300
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,833
Some people might say it's wrong
301
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,340
for a man to love
a wax replica of himself.
302
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:08,420
They're wrong!
303
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:09,549
Easy, Soos.
304
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:13,217
Wax Stan, I hope you're
picking pockets in wax heaven.
305
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,178
I'm sorry, I've got glitter in my eye!
306
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,058
(sesame) Dude!
307
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,311
(SIGHS) Those cops
were right about me.
308
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,985
Dipper, we've come so far.
We can't give up now!
309
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:29,154
But I considered everything,
the weapon, the motive, the clues...
310
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,408
(SIGHS)
311
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,449
Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it.
312
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:34,995
All the wax guys have that.
313
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,291
It's where the pole-thingy
attaches to their stand-dealies.
314
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:43,005
Wait a minute! What has holes
in its shoes and no fingerprints?
315
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,332
Mabel! The murderers are...
316
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,088
Standing right behind you?
317
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:55,350
Wax Sherlock Holmes!
Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?
318
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,430
Wassup, Holmes?
319
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:58,978
Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.
320
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,607
Congratulations,
my two amateur sleuths.
321
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:07,279
You've unburied the truth.
And now we're going to bury you!
322
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:16,197
Bravo, Dipper Pines!
You've discovered our little secret.
323
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:20,375
Applaud, everyone!
Applaud sarcastically.
324
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:24,079
No, that sounds too sincere.
Slow clap. There we go.
325
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,459
Nice and condescending.
326
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:28,167
But how is this possible?
You're made of wax!
327
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,343
Are you magic?
328
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:34,344
Are we magic?
She wants to know if we're magic.
329
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,432
We're cursed!
330
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,513
Cursed! Cursed!
331
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,892
Cursed to come to life
whenever the moon is waxing!
332
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:46,067
Your uncle bought us
many years ago at a garage sale.
333
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,190
A haunted garage sale, son!
334
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:54,488
I must warn you,
these statues come at a terrible price.
335
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,701
Twenty dollars?
336
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,199
I'll just take 'em when you're not looking.
337
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,281
-What?
-I said I was gonna rob you.
338
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:03,206
SHERLOCK: And so the Mystery Shack
wax collection was born.
339
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:06,163
By day, we would be
the playthings of man.
340
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,299
COOLIO: But when your uncle went
to sleep, we would rule the night!
341
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,592
-Hey, I told you to stop that.
-Make me!
342
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,178
(LAUGHING)
343
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:15,555
Huh?
344
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,302
SHERLOCK: It was a charmed life
for us cursed beings.
345
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,812
That is, until your uncle closed up shop.
346
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:44,952
We've been waiting ten years to get our
revenge on Stan for locking us away.
347
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,711
But we got the wrong guy.
348
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,759
(STAN COUGHING, SPITTING)
349
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,847
So you were trying to murder
Grunkle Stan for real?
350
00:16:57,058 --> 00:17:00,551
You were right all along, Dipper.
Wax people are creepy!
351
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,809
Enough!
352
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,935
Now that you know our secret,
you must die!
353
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,106
(ALL GROWLING)
354
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,352
What do we do? What do we do?
355
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:12,607
I don't know...
356
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,154
(SCREAMS)
357
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,914
That's it! We can melt them with hotty,
melt y things!
358
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,331
Anyone move,
and we'll melt you into candles!
359
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,878
Decorative candles!
360
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:32,333
You really think you can defeat us?
361
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,509
-I don't know. I'm not really sure.
-It's worth a shot I guess.
362
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,795
So be it. Attack!
363
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,130
Aaah!
364
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,549
Uhh! Aaah!
365
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:43,559
(GRUNTS)
366
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,606
Interview this, Larry King!
367
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:51,025
My neck! My beautiful neck!
368
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,319
-Aah!
-Joke's on you, Groucho!
369
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,647
I've heard about a cutting remark,
but this is ridiculous!
370
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,482
Why is there nothing in my hand?
371
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,405
(ROARING)
372
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:05,574
Ha! Genghis Khan,
you fell harder than the...
373
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,078
I don't know, Jin Dynasty?
Yeah. All right.
374
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,042
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
375
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:13,965
What's up with that?
376
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,507
Dipper, watch out!
377
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,838
All right, let's get this taken care of.
378
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:23,720
Catch!
379
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,520
Uh... Uh...
380
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,852
Once your family is out of the way,
381
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,187
we'll rule the night once again!
382
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,611
Don't count on it!
383
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,743
Come back here, you brat!
384
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,752
You really think you can outwit me, boy?
385
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:59,469
I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes!
Have you seen my magnifying glass?
386
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,841
It's enormous!
387
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,047
(EXCLAIMING)
388
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,522
(SIGH OF RELIEF)
389
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,693
Any last words?
390
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:16,986
Um...
391
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:18,696
You got any sunscreen?
392
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,444
Got any... What?
393
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,567
(GASPS)
394
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,200
-No.
-You know, letting me lead you outside,
395
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,871
probably not your sharpest decision.
396
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,909
Outsmarted by a child in short pants?
397
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,165
[[511
398
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,663
Fiddlesticks! Humbugs!
399
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,630
It's a total kerfuffle! What a hullabaloo...
400
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,594
Case closed!
401
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,384
(SNEEZES)
(SHERLOCK LAUGHS)
402
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,428
You sneeze like a kitten.
403
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:51,563
Those policemen were right,
you're adorable. Adorable!
404
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,351
Ew.
405
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:58,649
Though our group be cleft in twain,
man of wax shall rise again!
406
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,821
-You know any limericks?
-Uh...
407
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,820
There once was a dude from Kentucky...
408
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:04,946
'Mine!
_ Aah'!
409
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,740
Dipper! You're okay!
410
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,038
You solved the mystery after all.
411
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,287
I couldn't have done it
without my sidekick.
412
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:13,743
No offense, Dipper,
but you're the sidekick.
413
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,162
What? Says who? Are people
saying that? Have you heard that?
414
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,959
Hot Belgian waffles!
What happened to my parlor?
415
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,586
Your wax figures turned out to be evil,
416
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,379
so we fought them to the death!
417
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:25,838
I decapitated Larry King.
418
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,217
(LAUGHS) You kids
and your imaginations.
419
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,678
On the bright side, though,
look what we found.
420
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:35,348
My head! I missed this guy!
421
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:36,558
You done good, kids!
422
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,935
All right, line up
for some affectionate noogy-ing!
423
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,236
I'm not so sure about that.
424
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,904
Is there any other alternative?
425
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,026
(LAUGHS)
426
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,194
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
427
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,571
(POLICE SIREN APPROACHES)
428
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,534
Solved the case yet, boy?
429
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,954
I'm so confident you're gonna say "no,"
430
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,492
that I'm gonna take a long,
slow sip from my cup of coffee.
431
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,827
(SLURPING)
432
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,252
Actually, the answer is yes!
433
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,421
(SPUTTERS)
434
00:20:59,008 --> 00:20:59,964
(SCREAMS)
435
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,674
(SCREAMS)
436
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:02,842
(SCREAMS)
437
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,511
-It burns! It burns!
-My eyes! Drive! Drive!
438
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,383
(ALL LAUGHING)
439
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,600
-They got scalded!
-(CAR CRASHES)
440
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,261
So, did you get rid of
all of the wax figures?
441
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,851
I am 99% sure that I did!
442
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,306
Good enough for me!
443
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:23,692
(LAUGHING)
444
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:24,818
Huh?
445
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:27,321
So, you're a rat. Tell me about that.
446
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,156
Hey, get back here!
447
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,157
I'm hopping!
448
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:34,616
I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear.
449
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,329
Hmm.
450
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,456
Hey, Dipper, what do you think is better?
451
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:41,255
Sequins, or llama hair?
452
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:46,378
The llama hair.
Llamas are nature's greatest warriors.
453
00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:49,763
Thanks, Dipper!
32567
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