All language subtitles for hollywood_sexcapades_-_episodio_12_-_sexperience

Whatever you do, when we interview her,
don't use that term, okay?

She's an adult star. She's not a porn
star.

Fine. Adult.

Maybe I should just call her Trixie.

No, no, no, no.

Her real name is Skye. Her porno name is
Trixie. You cannot call her clients by

their porno names.

Don't you mean adult names?

You're funny.

Hi.

Are you two the ones who work for that
new dating service?

Actually, we are the dating service.
Black tie. I'm Ryan. This is Candy.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

I'm Charles.

Howdy. Do you live around here, Charles?

Work. I'm a couples therapist.

Really? We should work something out. I
mean, you know, when your clients break

up, you can send them an off.

That's funny.

Let me guess. You want to postpone your
appointment for the 10th time.

I'm calling because I have to postpone
my interview.

For the 10th time!

Do you realize we're here at 9 in the
morning for you?

I realize it's 9 o'clock in the morning,
but I have a favor to ask. Let me guess.

Let me guess.

You want us to come to you.

You think maybe you guys could come to
me? I have such a busy schedule this

month and... Why did you turn that off?
Why not? I know everything she has to

say.

Okay, so what are you doing now, then?
Flipping a coin.

See which one of us gets to hang on a
porno set all day.

It's an adult set, first of all. And we
both do, you horned dog.

Keep it in your pants, Ryan.

I didn't say a thing.

Not out loud, you didn't.

Your pack?

I never left.

Only in spirit.

Well, it wasn't in spirit, I meant.

Gee, I wonder where your head was at.

The thing with guys is that they don't
realize that this is just work, you

know? That's why I had you guys visit
the set today, so you could see for

yourself.

Yeah, I can see it's all very technical,
but it's still sex, I know.

You have no idea how hard it is to find
a guy that's confident enough to deal

with this.

I can imagine, I mean...

Not every guy wants to compete against a
sort of nine-inch male.

But even confident guys need some
reassurance, huh?

Don't ask me. I look at relationships.
Well, not the sex part.

But when it comes down to making an
actual relationship work... So what's

the longest relationship you've had?

Put it like this.

Never long enough to have a real orgasm.

Come again?

I mean... You're funny.

It's true, I've become a master of the
fake orgasm. I almost can't remember the

last time I had a real one.

With someone else, I mean.

That's because?

Because I just can't go there unless
there's feelings involved.

It's just that one part of me I just
can't give away.

And you want us to find a really great
guy who's going to stick around long

enough to make that happen, right? Yeah.
And in the meantime, I guess I'll keep

faking those orgasms.

It's okay. Men never really know the
difference anyway.

The truth is men can always tell the
difference when a woman fakes an orgasm.

That's not true.

Yes, it is, Margaret.

No, it isn't, Ted.

Yes, it is.

Listen to Charles. He's an expert.

Well, yeah, on relationships, but not
sex.

Why?

My point is, a man, a sensitive man, can
always tell when a woman is faking.

But are you sure about that? I mean,
maybe you should ask your girlfriend one

time. You may be surprised.

Well, I'm not with anyone right at this
very moment, but I'll keep that in mind

for the future.

Wait, so are you saying you faked an
orgasm with me?

No.

Not often.

Sometimes.

When? I mean, last year, last month?

Last night.

I was already a week behind in grading
my class' term paper, and I was actually

kind of engrossed in this one about
flightless birds.

Didn't say anything because I know how
sensitive we've both been about our

relationship lately.

It's not that the sex wasn't great. It
was.

I just couldn't get this image of that
last poor dodo bird out of my head.

I'm sorry, honey.

You know I love you.

A dodo bird, huh?

Yes.

Gone but not forgotten.

Well, I guess I can share one of your
orgasms with a dodo bird.

I mean, hey, we owe them at least that
much, right?

Right.

Thanks again, Charles.

We always leave here feeling so much
better.

It's you guys who do all the work. Oh,
please, don't be modest. You know you're

the king of relationships.

Oh, and sorry about my snippy remark.

Which remark?

The one about you not being a sex
expert.

I'm sure you're the king of that, too.

Well, next to my man here.

Look, this guy's asking for somebody who
doesn't exist.

He does. We just have to find him.

If a guy's an expert in relationships,
he's not going to want a girlfriend who

has sex for a living.

How would you know? She might be able to
teach him a thing or two.

Come in.

No, he wouldn't need to be taught
anything.

If he's an expert in love, he's an
expert in sex.

Not necessarily.

He might just be a guy with too many
damn degrees.

You think you guys can help me with
that?

You do this every morning?

No, I usually climb the other side. This
is the easy trail.

It's okay. You're doing awesome. The
other guys I bring up here usually pass

out by now.

So this is part of the first aid
initiation?

Well, it's more like my little
barometer.

That's a good idea.

Hiking's a great way to get to know
someone.

Fresh air, solitude, people really open
up.

I'm more like my little fitness
barometer. You don't see how much

stamina they've got.

I hope you're a strawberry fan.

I, um, I trust him with fresh cream.

What?

Never mind. I'm just trying not to read
into things too much here.

Like what? You mean the fresh cream
remark?

All I meant was I like cream with my
berries.

I like them naked, too.

I'm glad.

Look, I'm not going to pretend like I'm
not a little in my head here.

Is it my cue to start reading into
things?

Maybe.

Who knows? This whole date could be
Freudian-filled.

I mean, let's be honest. It's not every
day you get a chance to go on a date

with a couple therapists.

I know it's a little weird.

You know, Charles, I think it would do
you a world of good to just let her rip.

What do you mean?

I mean, go ahead, ask me. What's it like
to get laid for a living?

I'm kidding.

Yeah, because that's not all that I want
to know.

I mean, I do suppose I find it
interesting, you working in the adult

film industry.

Lots of insight into... Into what?

Well, for example, into... You know
what?

For a couple of therapists, you start to
have a hard time opening up.

I'm sure you're good once you get into
your relationship groove.

That's a real bitch getting over that
first hump, though, isn't it? First

hump? Now, doctor, I'm starting to think
it's you who has a filthy mind.

Hey, relax.

God, you really are uptight.

Not really.

I mean, compared to some of your
colleagues, yeah.

My colleagues?

Charles, Charles, Charles.

You spend too much time working and way
too little time living.

Tell me, when was the last time you did
it?

This morning. I had a couple sessions
just before we came out here.

Not analyzing.

Doing it.

Oh, well, don't jump to conclusions
here, but the last lover I had was

actually a patient.

Oh, yes.

Spicy.

Hey, it's not like I'm a total
fuddy-duddy. I even have a tattoo.

Well, I hope it doesn't say fuddy-duddy.
Show it to me.

What brought on this wild and crazy act?

Who, actually?

That patient, Teresa.

I was counseling her and her fiancé for
a year.

It's funny, two more opposite people
you've never met.

I don't understand.

I don't get it. Do you see him? Nick was
more conservative than a pilgrim. Well,

she came off like she was born at a
Stones concert.

I mean, come on.

Look at this guy. He doesn't care about
our marriage.

Unfortunately, while that was one of the
things that brought them together, it

was also the thing that split them
apart.

After their breakup, Teresa kept seeing
me alone.

Maybe it was because I reminded her of
her ex, I don't know, but that's when

she started getting more intimate with
me.

By the session.

Trust me, I tried everything in the book
to resist her.

Before I knew it, she had us becoming
really good friends.

And then a whole lot more.

What happened to this wildcat?

Nick came back into her life.

Well, ouch.

Serves you right for fooling around on
the job.

What? No, I never... She wasn't my
patient anymore when I... Hey, relax.

I'm kidding. I understand.

She just can break you.

Me? She's the one who needed breaking.
Break you out, I mean, of your shell?

Come on, face it. You are a little... A
little what?

I may love doing a parking lot, for
Christ's sakes.

Yeah, but were you really intimate with
her?

Well, what would you call it?

Besides wild sex, which you did
everything in the book to resist, did

you ever share any real feelings with
her?

Why would you ask me that?

Well, you're the doctor. You tell me.

Oh, or maybe that was the problem.

You never stopped being the doctor.

Doctor.

Did anyone ever tell you you're cute
when you think?

You know what you need, my friend?

What's that?

Come on, this is nuts.

Just try and let go.

Now tell me, why did you go to Black
Tie?

To meet a woman, of course.

Wrong. Dig deeper.

What, you think just to get laid?

No.

Although you did agree to go out with a
woman who makes adult film.

Okay, why then?

You're the patient.

You say it.

Fine.

You think I agreed to date you because I
thought you'd be safe.

That because you act in adult films, I
wouldn't have to risk getting close.

Good.

Now, why would you want that?

I don't know.

I guess maybe because as a therapist,
I'm afraid to admit that I'm as

vulnerable as everyone else.

Good.

Very good. Go on.

What, you want me to say that after ten
years of hearing about people breaking

up that I'm scared to death of coming
out from behind my desk and losing

control?

No, is that so hard?

Well, what about you?

Why did you come to Black Tie?

To meet a man who understands.

How lonely it can be, living your life,
going through the motions with

strangers, and never experiencing
anything real for yourself.

You're a good therapist.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Thank you.

Can I ask you something?

Your orgasms, were they, um... Real?

Of course.

All five of them were.

Why do you ask?

Well, I figure, you know, you're
probably pretty good at, you know...

Faking them?

Not that good.

Don't you know the difference between
real and fake?

I used to think I did.

But now I think it's time to admit that
I've got a lot to learn.

You and me both.

Here's hoping we keep doing it together.

When you say it, do you mean... I mean
no more talking.

Don't you think Charles will fall off
the sky that quickly?

Absolutely. The question is, will she
fall for him?

Well, of course. I mean, he's grounded,
he's smart, he's sensitive.

I mean, that doesn't mean he's going to
jump in the sack with her on the first

night. On the couch, on the other hand.

By the way, I have about 100 ex-clients
I plan on sending your way.

Did he say 100 clients?

No, dummy. He said Dalmatians.

Oh.

I thought there was 101 Dalmatians.