All language subtitles for alone_s02e09_the_madness

This move is a complete game changer, so
long as I can find food from the ocean.

But if I don't catch a fish on those
lines, I don't know what's going to

happen.

We've got a 600-pound log that floated
in over my gill net.

I have to get this cove figured out.

I need to finish the boat. I'm so
pressed for time, wondering if those

salmon are running yet.

I thought maybe after I get down
climbing the mountain, then I'll just

hang it up.

Yeah! And right now, that's the last
thing on my mind. I feel recharged, and

I feel like I can take on the world.

Who are you when everything's been
stripped away?

Scary out here in these woods.

I have not had a serious meal in a week.
I can't get a player, and I can't stay

here. It's always in the back of your
mind. Well, I can tap out.

Putting up with a filming booth?

Running into a predator. It's not an if,
it's a when.

Get the hell out of here. I see you. Get
out of here!

I'm living a hand-to-mouth existence.
Yes!

$500,000 is a lot of money. It's just
going to keep getting harder.

It's not the world that needs to change.
It's me that needs to change.

here fooling with the camera right just
dicking around with this camera and a

ferret runs past with this gigantic eel
in its mouth and

i thought if i scare him bad enough
maybe he'll drop the little eel oh my

goodness the nerve to come running past
a starving man with an eel in your

mouth you know very impolite very
impolite thing to do

And I am hungry.

No doubt about it, I am hungry.

I'm coming to the conclusion that I have
to exploit every last resource of food

that I can in my cove.

And bull kelp, it's everywhere.

I'm going to cook this and see if it
works as a cooked vegetable because I

need some bulk.

Okay, nothing good is happening in the
GI tract here. You know what I'm saying?

Nothing.

Very little movement, let's just say
that. Very little movement.

Nothing going in, nothing going out.

And I'm getting worried.

Anyway, I'm going to get to work cutting
this stuff up and putting it in my

little pot of water.

I think it's soaked.

Nothing like doing yard work when you're
on vacation, huh?

Vacation with no food.

F you, seagull.

You're on the menu next.

I got to be honest, my moods have been
like up and down and all around.

I mean, my head's still in the game.
It's just, it's depressing to know by

what a slim margin you hold on by.

That's, I think, what's getting me.

Because I want to stay out here for a
really long time, but the calories scare

me.

If I can't get protein, I'm not going to
be out here for that long.

I got to start catching some fish, man.

If I can't catch any fish, some mice
would be good.

There's a little bit of protein there.

Over where I kind of prepare some of my
stuff, I see some mouse droppings.

So I know there's a mouse around.

At least one.

So I think I'm going to use my time
today and set up some mouse traps.

God, I hate mice.

Whenever you find one, there's at least
one more.

So I need to take care of them.

At least it's a mouse outside my
shelter. Thank God for that.

Just stay out of my camp. That is so
worrying to me.

You know, these are country mice.

These guys are smarter than the average
mouse.

I think that determination and will to
survive will get you a lot further

sometimes than skill will.

I do have some skill, but I think that
determination is kind of what sets

me apart.

This rock keeps on wanting to move, too.

So this is my first successful setting
of a Paiute deadfall.

The rock... It's putting pressure, which
is trying to make this back end go up.

This back end is being held in place by
this cordage and this little toggle

here. This little toggle is trying to go
that direction, but it can't go that

direction because of this stick that's
being held in the back.

Now, that's my bait stick, and this is
just a real rough setting of this. This

is my first time ever.

Man, I'm excited about this.

I hope this works. Ha!

That's how light it was as it didn't
stay.

I'm really interested to see if this
will work.

I've practiced a lot of these trapping
techniques.

It would be good to say that I trapped a
mouse while I was out here. Trapped

something, for crying out loud.

The kayak is finished.

It's exciting to me.

I'm going to call her Delicada, the
delicate one in Spanish, La Delicada,

because it has thin skin.

This skin can be punctured one barnacle.

I'm going to carry the delicate one to
the cove out there.

This boat was a lot of work. Right now I
could have 10 sets with fish themselves,

and instead I'm making a huge investment
in time and energy, taking a huge gamble

to fish offshore, which in the long run
will be, I hope, more productive.

Ready to try it out, which is a moment I
expect with some trepidation.

I don't want to take a swim, involuntary
swim.

That kind of exposure to possible
hypothermia worries me a lot.

In the end, the ocean will decide and
tell if she's seaworthy or not.

I got it out on the cove here where I
want to try it out.

Getting in and out is going to be quite
a challenge.

She is tippy, that's for sure.

She's tippy like hell.

It's very unstable.

It's tippy like hell.

It's very unstable.

Oh, she is tippy.

She is tippy. Boy, I nearly got in.

Well, it's amazing to be out on the
water, I have to say, but this boat

makes me pretty nervous.

But she goes.

Well,

that was the maiden voyage, so to speak.

Not a tragedy, but a setback.

She actually goes pretty well. She wants
to go places.

It's me. I'm not sure if I want to go
places with her quite yet.

She is very unstable.

I should have built her wider.

Either I get used to her or I can help
myself out with an outrigger.

I hope I can figure something out and go
and try to find salmon because

my days here are counted unless I found
some decent amount of grub.

Me and that mouse are going round and
round.

My Paiute deadpaw is sprung.

The periwinkle that I tied onto the bait
stick is gone.

The rock fell a certain way to where I
think the mouse got away, or the thing

sprung, and then the mouse just came and
took the bait.

It's like me against him now, and now
it's personal.

Damn it.

Little bastard.

I'm going to keep working at it.

If I have this rock about like this, all

right, I'm semi-happy with that.

And there we have it.

So I hope I crushed this little sucker's
head tonight.

Well, that's about it.

Good night.

I'm going to sleep good tonight.

What the?

Oh, my God.

I'm so freaking pumped right now. I'm
shaking.

I finally, finally, finally caught the
effing mouse in my Paiute deadfall.

I've been screwing with this and
screwing with this and screwing with it.

Just about ready to go in bed, put
everything in bed in there. And I heard,

I'm like, what the hell? You know,
because I set it really light this time.

I came out, freaking mouse is under the
rock.

I'm like, oh, hell yeah.

Pushed him hard in the rock.

Boom. He freaking takes off.

Oh, I was just bummed.

Just piss-ass bummed.

So then I had my headlamp out, and I
looked, and I see him looking at me in a

hole. So I grabbed my freaking spear,
and I jabbed him in the hole, and then I

stabbed him, and then he took off
running, and I stomped on him. So I

finally, and then I took my knife and
cut his little freaking throat.

And he's right there.

He went into this hole, and I took my
freaking spear and just

jabbed it in there, and he took off
running, and I just barely got him again

with this, and I just barely got his
tail. Oh, my God, I caught a freaking

mouse. I am so stoked.

My first freaking primitive trap kill,
man.

Oh, I finally got the little bastard.

Right on, man.

I wanted to show y'all something.

Okay.

This gigantic cedar log was not here
this morning.

And this area right here is where I was
planning on putting up my gill net.

The new gill net mount. I used to have
it mounted over on this side. It used to

be over here.

And I'm thinking now I'm going to put it
there.

If I had put it there, look what would
have taken out my net.

There's just no way for me to set that
gill net anywhere in here.

These gigantic cedar torpedoes won't
take it out.

The only thing that's worked for me so
far to get food out of the cove, other

than foraging for shellfish, is a hook
and a line.

Getting a nice raw cord here.

Starting to look like a crab line.

Now I can throw the bait out there and
drag them in, you know.

Or throw it down and pull them up.

As a kid, we would fish for crabs in New
Jersey.

I would take a big, heavy line, tie a
dead fish to it, and lower it down in

the water, and crabs who are attracted
to that will bite on and latch onto

that, and I can just pull them back out.

Got him.

See that?

There you go.

Dungeness crabs.

I love them. They're greedy little
creatures that hang out on the top of

the kelps waiting to drop a limpet. And
then when you drop a limpet on them,

they grab it.

And if you don't get them again, you
don't get them the first time, they'll

grab it again and again and again until
you hook them in the body or they just

get so obstinate, you pull them free of
the kelp and they just hang on until you

lift them up here on the rocks.

See a crab down here. I'm going to try
and get him.

I have a second Dungeness crab.

Number three.

He lost a claw in the fight.

But the mammals won.

I have caught four of these guys.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm flabbergasted.

Number five.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Look at this. Look at this.

That's one, two, three, four, and five.

You ever have one of those days where
everything's going

right? Yes, that's an under six, folks.

Woo!

Oh!

Oh, this place has an awesome echo.

That's the Dungeness crab cry of
victory. Yes, this is number six.

There could not have been a better day
out here.

As hungry as I am and as dejected as I
have been, the only thing that can make

this better, seriously.

Oh, my goodness, for a Baptist to say
this would be beer and friends.

That's it, man.

Look at that.

This is the most fun I've had in a long
time.

Never have I been more happy or excited
about a meal and a survival situation

than an entire two-quarter pie full of
Dungeness crab.

I tell you, folks, there's painful days
out there in life. There really is. But

there's good ones, too, you know, and
you can't lose sight of that.

Have you ever had a perfect day or a
perfect moment?

You remember them the rest of your life.
A perfect moment is a moment you just

remember the rest of your life.

I've had a few of them in my lifetime,
just moments that are just perfect,

where everything is just, the timing,
everything is just perfect.

And this is one of them, I'm telling
you.

To be this hungry and to sit down to a
meal like this.

The anticipation that I get to eat these
things right now.

Suffice to say, this is a feast of a
lifetime.

You see, the thing is about catching the
crabs, that felt like a beginning.

That felt like the start of something.

And that's the kind of thing you need
out here to keep yourself interested, to

keep yourself enthusiastic.

That's the stuff that makes me happy to
be here and gives me hope for tomorrow.

It's one thing to talk about finding a
food source, plants,

animals, whatever it is.

It's quite another thing to find a
sustainable food source,

something that doesn't really run out or
takes a really long time to run

out.

And something like these snails, that's
huge.

There's enough of these things where I'm
not going to go hungry.

You know, as long as I can get out here
when the tide's low, you know, you can

get an essence living definitely.

This thing's almost full.

I don't know if I'll be able to eat all
this or not.

I think that's the hallmark of a good
survival situation.

Sustainable food.

And fortunately, I have these snails.

You get deep-fried calamari.

It tastes almost like that.

All right.

I'm going to wash my hands.

Other than that, pretty much normal day
of a whole lot of nothing.

Just kind of chilling here, waiting for
the tide to go out.

I got to check these lines I put in the
surf.

What to do now for two hours?

Oh, let's read a book.

Oh, wait.

Let's watch some TV.

Oh, wait.

Watch a movie.

Oh, that's right.

I was out checking all my lines.

My surf line caught me this today.

Now, it's mostly head.

There's not a lot of meat there, but
there's a heck of a lot more meat here

than a limpid or a periwinkle.

As I was out there, I saw something
attached to the bull kelp.

Those are huge freaking crabs, man.

They're ginormous.

Oh, my gosh, these things are huge.

Look at that claw.

Oh, my God.

Crabs and fish, baby.

Crabs and fish.

I walked by the Paiute deadfall that I
made today, and it's down.

So now I got to reset it.

My work tonight never seems to end.

Oh, look at that.

Squished mouse, my favorite.

Just freaking...

Squished like a damn pancake, baby.

Yeah.

Fish and mouse and crabs tomorrow.

Woo.

Hell yeah.

You didn't even get the bait, you little
bastard.

Ha.

Nice.

Shall we reset you? Yes, we should.

Ha ha.

Woo. Wow.

Hell yeah, man.

I just went to go clean the mouse, man.
I just cleaned him and gutted him. I got

my fish right here. And now my Paiute
deadfall is down again.

Same one. Down.

Bazinga!

This thing is like the freaking mouse
freaking flayer, man.

This thing is... Holy shnikes.

Yeah, baby.

Ew. And the beet's still there.

Yeah.

Better start thinking about mouse
recipes.

I had built a good boat, and it hits a
good boat, but for what I want to do out

here, I want to be really stable,
sitting in the water like a duck. Sit

there and fish.

I want to build an outrigger.

An outrigger is basically a stick, and
at the end of the stick, some floats or

something that is very buoyant.

The problem with that is that I only
have one thing.

Treasure. My fresh water can.

Need another really buoyant thing for
the other side.

And I was praying for some help.

And I prayed hard.

So I went beachcombing today, and I just
found this.

You can see it well.

I mean, I'm beyond words.

With gratitude, this one really got me.

This one just...

Blowing off my socks right now.

And there's a big length of rope that
comes with it.

Pretty special moment for

me right now.

Because if the boat floats well, I could
be out here for a long time.

It's about 11 o'clock.

I've done pretty much everything I've
set out to do today.

I ate.

Got water.

I worked out a little bit.

That's really all I had to do.

And it's only 11 o'clock.

So now what?

I don't know.

There's a huge difference between
someone that would go out into the

middle of the woods and just live for
the rest of their life and...

the type of survival training that I'm
used to.

Most of that training revolves around a
military mindset. So it revolves around

a 72-hour period of getting yourself out
of dodge, trying not to get killed,

surviving enough to get out.

It's not a long-term type deal.

In the military, you're always forced to
go, go, go.

I'm more comfortable with that.

So now it just becomes a matter of
waiting.

It's just waiting.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

And this is when your brain really
starts to play tricks on you.

You start to think, well, why the hell
am I doing this?

I'm not accomplishing anything.

I'm not producing anything.

Just sitting here.

Everybody can't go into the woods for an
indefinite amount of time and, you know,

come out on the other side.

But luckily, I've been given that
opportunity.

And I'm going to take every little bit
of it that I can, every ounce of the

healing that this is allowing for me.

But I feel

like I've already proved myself.

You know, I've already proved that I
know what I'm doing.

My mind is practically screaming.

Just give up and you can go eat and
drink coffee and have all these things

that you want.

But you know, like, as soon as you eat,
you're going to be like,

I gave up that opportunity for this
meal.

Hopefully, I will be able to resist my
brain playing tricks on me and

convincing me to quit.

I do not like pooping in the woods.

And yes, I said it. For a survival
instructor guy, I don't like pooping in

the woods.

But my strategy for eating lots of bull
kelp has paid off.

How can I put this nicely?

The trains are running again.

Okay, one left the station this morning.

Totally normal.

Which was surprising.

Yeah, I was happy about that.

Not sure what time it is. I took a
little bit of a nap, but I got to get up

and do something, at least walk around.

So I'm just bored to tears.

Days like today really make you wonder
why the hell you're doing this.

This is not even survival.

Right now it's just being lazy.

I thought that there were two things
that I needed as a person. And being out

here, I've realized that that is in fact
true.

Happiness and adventure.

You know, the adventure is gone out
here.

With the adventure being gone, then...

the happiness starts to dwindle.

There's a lot that I want to see.

You know, there's a lot that I want to
experience.

There's a lot of people I want to meet.

There's a lot of laughing and crying and
hugging and all sorts of other different

emotions still to be had.

And I think...

When you tie yourself down, it makes it
harder to do those things.

My personal mission on this island has
been accomplished.

I'm ready to get home, get back to
regular life, and get on to the next

adventure.

Here they come.

Here they come.

Looks a little fuzzy, but after 35 days,
it's a very welcome sight.

Does everybody look like a cat just
died?

I think I need to make some changes in
my life as far as what I consider

important.

And I think this is helping me see that,
you know.

I said something that I've been thinking
about probably the first couple days

here.

You know, I said surviving is just
living.

But living to its fullest is something
way better.

It's enjoying yourself. It's waking up
in the morning and just full of,

yes, I'm alive.

You don't have unlimited time on this
earth. You only have one life.

Just getting by day to day, it's not
enough for me.

So I'd say enjoy yourself now.

And if something's keeping you from
enjoying yourself, a job, significant

other, whatever it is, get rid of it.

I think the biggest change is going to
be the amount of stuff that I have.

I want to get to where I can fit
everything in the back seat of my truck.

And then every chance I get, I'm just
going to travel from one adventure to

the next.

Okay, I'm back at the cove.

I'm sewing on the outrigger to the
stationary board that I put on the stern

part of the boat yesterday.

For floats, it's got a can that I found.
It was my freshwater can.

And that magnificent buoy that I found,
that was quite literally the answer

to my prayers.

And it's important for the outrigger to
stabilize my boat because I intend to do

longer trips.

Over there, that valley is obviously
going to carry a good-sized river.

If there is going to be a salmon run
anywhere nearby with inside, that's

going to be it.

So basically, I need this kayak to take
me to places.

And I need to be...

Very sure that it's stable.

I want to be sitting out here in the
coves just fishing, and I'd like to just

have my fishing gear in my hand and not
have to have the kayak paddle.

If a fish comes up, handle it in stable
watercraft.

I'm having a hard time adjusting this
one camera. Oh, there you go.

Hope she stays like that.

I'm paddling.

Let's see.

Okay, folks.

This is it.

This is it.

This is it. It's working fine. I'm going
to go check my fish

net.

Now we're talking.

After a while, there's just not very
many redeeming qualities about this

place. How many more days, man?

How many more days of this?

Oh. Oh, man.

Steel got into my net, ate everything.

That's all that's left.

Ah, she leaks.

There's water in here.

Oh, I just went in up to my waist. If I
get hypothermia, it's over.