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1
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I remember the first time he took me.
2
00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:19,610
The pain was unfamiliar, and so there
was no fear of it.
3
00:00:21,910 --> 00:00:23,550
So my heritage is not elaborate.
4
00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:28,410
It's this tiny quiver in the corner when
he turns the temperature down and I
5
00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:30,250
crouch, pious, waiting.
6
00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:33,510
Paint blisters under the window.
7
00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:37,430
Hole caved into the baseboard from a
fist.
8
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:41,350
And a blemish round up deep inside me
that needs a good slapping.
9
00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:49,610
He could take hours or I'm barely bent
over.
10
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:52,770
In this corner sits my hope.
11
00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:54,530
In that corner, my desire.
12
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,630
In the third, my belief.
13
00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:57,990
In the last, my trust.
14
00:00:59,030 --> 00:01:00,030
Ten seconds.
15
00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:03,530
It took a while to get him to punch me
hard in the face.
16
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:06,610
The scrapes take a fuck of a lot of
cleaning.
17
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,930
Once I got tetanus, a needle shot into
my butt.
18
00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:13,670
Horrible, unfriendly pain.
19
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,240
those diaper sores.
20
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,080
Raw, carposied skin.
21
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,980
Nine seconds, and it begins to finally
fall away.
22
00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:36,420
The small one.
23
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:38,860
The septic.
24
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:40,560
Flawed.
25
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:43,520
Six seconds.
26
00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:47,340
Delirious and whispering to me, he
pounds me like putty.
27
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,000
He's begging for clemency.
28
00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:51,420
I know that.
29
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:03,580
So my heritage is a nervous kiss on a
boy's neck behind some skip.
30
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,120
Or a nodding eye passing on a 3 a.m.
car.
31
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,960
The aged face unrecognizable.
32
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:15,920
Some stitch mending a forgotten bruise
which gets bigger and bigger.
33
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,060
I don't recall any faces now.
34
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:21,940
Except one.
35
00:02:23,020 --> 00:02:24,260
He calls me his cunt.
36
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:26,580
Cunts are so beautiful, he says.
37
00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:28,560
And so am I.
38
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,360
Four seconds.
39
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,820
I plead fake rage and sink into pain and
cum.
40
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,420
A few steps away, people meander.
41
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,880
The bank machine spits out cash.
42
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,620
It's overcast.
43
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,460
Or maybe it's all thankfully ended.
44
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,020
Undeformed.
45
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,120
Two seconds.
46
00:02:57,660 --> 00:03:01,060
Descending, jealous of my silence, he
pisses.
47
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,120
I fart blood.
48
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:05,760
One second.
49
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,140
I never feel crushed here.
50
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,460
I touch on complete here.
51
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,200
Earth is quiet for once.
52
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:22,000
Then it leaves, as it does.
53
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,460
My asshole tightens, defiant.
54
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,860
I wait for a voice to say, it's over.
55
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,660
Your time has come. It's only flesh and
bone.
56
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,760
But no one speaks.
57
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:36,860
Even now.
58
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,000
So my heritage is in that faded
adolescence.
59
00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:45,600
The jab of a morphine drip and saying
sorry as I tear the vein.
60
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:50,660
Pushing the same old tube down the
throat and catching the eyes asking me
61
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:51,660
to stop.
62
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,240
The winter was in its first violence.
63
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:56,840
The air chilled.
64
00:03:57,580 --> 00:03:58,620
The war's over.
65
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,760
The dead don't tell.
66
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,600
And I stare back at my waist.
67
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,820
The half-open door and cold piss.
68
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,200
And I'm content.
69
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,220
I get up and manage to dress myself.
70
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:15,300
This little boy playing friendly
monsters.
71
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:18,360
You want to cut out my tongue.
72
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:20,540
I am mute.
73
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,680
But I remain.
4762
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