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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Okay, okay, what's next Chris, I don't I
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don't quite know how to put this but
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um well you know we're together all the
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time and there's there's something that you do
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that really gets on my nerves I'm sorry
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what is it you don't forget about it
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it's my problem okey dokey that's it what's
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it okey dokey do I say that oh
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yeah you do yeah and it drives me
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crazy I mean it's like the way people
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say any who oh it's that bad well
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it is to me uh-huh I'll try
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not to say it anymore you know Jake
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I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell
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me what you did because that thing you
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do with the spoon on the coffee cup
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it really bothers me what then well after
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you stir your coffee you tap the spoon
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on the cup yeah well that's to get
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the coffee out the spoon yeah I understand
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that well then what's the problem well it's
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just that that sound it makes it just
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goes through me like a knife oh that's
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certainly easy enough to fix thank you okey
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dokey just kidding hey Chris Jake how you
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doing buddy wow you're in a good mood
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what happened you find a nickel on the
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sidewalk better brand new pack of cigarettes on
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the subway great homeless guy was reaching for
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it but it's too quick for him so
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you outrace a guy who hadn't eaten in
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days yeah well I like to stay in
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shape hey everybody oh great there you are
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you know I've been calling you for a
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week when are you gonna come upstairs and
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snake out my drink I'll get to it
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Becca right now I've got more important things
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on my mind Bob's gonna be a dad
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you need a license to sell real estate
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what happened Bob did you get some girl
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pregnant no I went to my family reunion
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that doesn't answer the question I meant that
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seeing all my nieces and nephews running around
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made me feel like it's time I had
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a kid of my own wait a minute
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didn't you once tell us you had kids
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oh yeah I kind of made them up
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you made up having kids well I wanted
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to get into that parents without partners group
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you know I thought it'd be a good
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place to meet lonely desperate women I've also
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pretended to be an alcoholic a gambler and
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an overeater what about a sexaholic they got
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a group hey Bob yeah you know to
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get a kid don't you sort of need
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a wife or at least some woman who
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will let you touch her I don't know
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that's a tall order Becker I'm kind of
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in a hurry oh maybe I can be
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artificially inseminated does that work I hope not
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Bob having a child is sort of a
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big deal why don't you check out big
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brothers are looking to become a foster parent
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come on what would Bob possibly teach a
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child besides burping the alphabet backwards that's a
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lot harder than you think not that hard
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well it isn't hey listen by the way
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Becker I got lots to teach a kid
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I mean I can pass on all my
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knowledge my expertise my experience so that maybe
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one day my child can accomplish all the
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things I never got around to oh great
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then you know 18 years from now your
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kid can come up and snake out my
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drain Hi
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Margaret I'm here for my appointment oh hi
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Jim the doctor has your cholesterol results you
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can go on back to room one okay
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thank you hmm it is nice to see
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him doing so well why what was wrong
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with him well when Jim first came in
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he had a multiple personality disorder two completely
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different people living inside of him that is
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so hot what was the other personality like
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Jerry loud obnoxious rude completely despicable oh I'm
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getting chills Linda why are you always attracted
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to the weird ones come on Margaret imagine
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going to bed with one man and having
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no idea who you're going to wake up
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with you do that now anyway none of
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that matters Dr. Becker referred Jim to a
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psychiatrist and now he is completely normal oh
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normal hi Dr. Becker Jim
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I got a riddle for you what's the
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difference between you and a pound of bacon
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oh you know I'm not so good with
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riddles I like knock-knock jokes all right
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all right fine knock knock who's there you
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have really high cholesterol and you could die
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you have really high cholesterol and you could
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die who enough play time you know look
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I'm trying to lower your cholesterol you haven't
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taken those pills I prescribed have you well
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I wanted to take the pills but there's
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a problem all right what's the problem it's
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the old problem it's Jerry he's back oh
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no yeah not Jerry is he uh it's
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Jerry in there right now yeah you know
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the deal I mean you never know when
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he's gonna come out that guy is so
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obnoxious yeah we've tried living with him I
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thought I thought Dr. Geary gave you a
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new medication that kept Jerry away yeah he
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did but then Jerry hid the pills before
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I could take them this whole extra personality
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thing that's up to Dr. Geary I'll call
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him and tell him what's going on but
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you know the high cholesterol I can help
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you with that but you're doing my part
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I mean I don't touch red meat I
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eat a ton of vegetables I exercise like
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crazy but then on the way home from
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the gym Jerry the pig stops off for
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chili dogs well can't you reason with him
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doubtful we're not speaking all right all right
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look is there any chance that you can
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have Jerry come in and see me well
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I'll try but just so you know he
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really hates you well that's all right you
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like me and we can work together you
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know two against one okay I tell you
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what just get him in the car tell
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him you're taking him to a strip joint
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and then drop him off here but he's
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gonna have to drive I lost my license
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okay Jake Chris this
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is my kid Scott hi hi I got
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him up with the youth center on Manning
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Avenue we have Chris to thank for getting
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us together I am so sorry hey you
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know Chris was in the army first she
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served the country now she's serving us that's
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called irony not that funny sounded funny and
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this is Jake you see that newsstand over
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there yeah good because he can't shut up
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okie dokie now let Jake be an inspiration
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to you if the blind guy can own
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a crummy business like that think how good
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you can do eight times eight 64 feel
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like sponges at this age anyway we got
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a busy day so can I get one
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black coffee and one hot chocolate to go
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actually I like hot chocolate too make it
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two hot chocolates so are you off to
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first oh the public library the metropolitan opera
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and then the statue of liberty all in
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one day hey I got a lot to
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teach this little rascal I've already missed the
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first 10 years of his life I gotta
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make up for lost time eight times nine
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72 can't argue with that before we leave
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can I go to the bathroom I don't
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know can you oh right may I of
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course just remember the lava los manos that's
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Spanish remember to zip up never underestimate the
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value of a bilingual education we live in
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an ever-changing world my friend is it
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my imagination or she's starting to look like
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me oh
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please would Jim have the guts to tell
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you how hot you look today oh god
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Jerry I thought you were gone but not
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forgotten um hello snowflake hello who might you
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be her name is Linda and she's seeing
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someone no I'm not sometimes Margaret thinks she's
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my mother but I never listened to my
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mother I bet you'd listen to your daddy
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okay all right that's it the doctor is
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waiting for you I'll take him back oh
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no you won't I'll take him back oh
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please ladies don't fight over me there's enough
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Jerry to go around just come on so
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brown sugar what's shaking not much wonder bread
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how about you John in the off chance
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you were in a good mood Jerry is
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here oh boy the years have not been
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kind to you nice to see you again
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Jerry yeah don't patronize me what do you
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want look I uh I talked to Jim
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this morning yeah I know little whiner said
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something about high cholesterol the high cholesterol would
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be an improvement that gravy you've got coursing
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through your veins is gonna kill you hey
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life will kill you all right the point
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is to have a little fun before it
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does yeah you've heard of fun haven't you
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it's what people have when you're not around
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you do understand that if Jim dies you
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die now I'm not voting I'm just stating
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a fact look if you're really so concerned
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about us why don't you tell Jim to
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stop hiding those pills you prescribed well no
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he he said that you hid them how
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can I hide him I never even saw
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him look the lying little weasel scared to
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death of any medication okay he keeps crying
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about the side effects so wait wait Jim's
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lying to me oh oh you think look
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Becker I don't want to die okay and
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you know me I love pills give me
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the pills I'll take the whole bottle so
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if I give you the pills right now
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you'll take them I will take them but
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then uh when Jim sees them he'll just
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throw them all away all right all right
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Jerry I guess I better talk to Jim
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Jim are you in there I need to
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talk to you it's Dr. Becker do I
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look like Jim oh
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finally you got up here and fixed the
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drain huh well you got a half right
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I took it apart in fact this is
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my kid Scott Scott this is the doctor
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I told you about yeah hi Scott look
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Bob I'm in the middle of a very
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difficult case I need to do some research
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maybe you can come back some other time
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Becker I told the kid all about you
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he stole up a role model I can
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see that I'm serious you know pack up
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your stuff and get out please come on
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Becker I wanted to meet someone professional you're
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a doctor you went to Harvard that's a
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big deal to a kid like this really
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yeah well I guess I can take a
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few minutes out of my busy day at
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least I can do you really went to
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Harvard yes I did you know Harvard's not
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that big a deal Scott I mean sure
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it's the best school in the country and
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yes I had to be top of my
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class just to get in you know something
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you work hard like I did I bet
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you can make it too he's being modest
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Scott he left out four years of medical
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school two years of residency and a great
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career in research let's not forget graduating summa
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cum laude wow and after all that education
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and all that hard work you have to
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look at this man and ask yourself what
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the hell happened he had every advantage a
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person could have in life he should be
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in a penthouse on park avenue sucking the
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fat out of rich people instead of living
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in a dump like this thanks a lot
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Becker I really appreciate it three times nine
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27 close enough I
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hate the way you drum your fingers how
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annoying is that you want to talk about
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annoying how about the way you clear your
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throat as long as we're clearing things up
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I hate the way you answer the phone
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you say yellow it's not yellow it's hello
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but I hate the way you say mayonnaise
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it's mayonnaise quit saying it wrong oh yeah
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mayonnaise mayonnaise mayonnaise mayonnaise hi
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I'm here to see the doctor hi you're
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Jim right yeah I'm Jim Reynolds god this
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is so hot I'm sorry what's so hot
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the fact that you have no idea who
271
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I am you see the other day I
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met Jerry oh no no no no no
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no Jerry and I are two completely different
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people god I'm tingling do you ever play
275
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Canadian devils if you know what I mean
276
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I have no idea what that means but
277
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I hope that he wasn't too offensive he
278
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kind of was hi Margaret Jim how are
279
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you today all good why don't you just
280
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go on back to room one the doctor
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will be with you in a moment okay
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it's nice to meet you bye Jim say
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00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:31,250
hello to Jerry for me I can't tell
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you how exciting this is Linda it's not
285
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exciting it's sad what must have happened in
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that man's life to get him to this
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point where he is so confused don't question
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what works Marvit would you be attracted to
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him if he didn't have this problem no
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00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:50,350
I wouldn't really be attracted to either of
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00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,630
them I mean one's obnoxious and one's just
292
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dull it's like a malamar I don't particularly
293
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like marshmallows or graham crackers but you smack
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them together and then you got something okay
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who's here it's me Jim oh good thanks
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00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:13,130
for coming in Jerry left me a note
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on the palm of my hand go see
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Becker and tell him he's an well there's
299
00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:23,950
no call for that kind of language no
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00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:27,550
look Jerry and I had a little talk
301
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:28,810
you know he came in here and he
302
00:15:28,810 --> 00:15:30,870
he told me that you hid the pills
303
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from him he told you that that's ridiculous
304
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:38,570
what he's lying all right all right fine
305
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:39,910
well you know now that we know you're
306
00:15:39,910 --> 00:15:41,690
willing to take the pills I've got an
307
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,230
idea you know why don't you come into
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00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,490
the office every morning and take one Jerry
309
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:47,110
will never know here as a matter of
310
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:48,550
fact why don't you take one right now
311
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:50,750
well right now yes right now well okay
312
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:55,770
no problem oh no what are you doing
313
00:15:55,770 --> 00:15:58,190
come on I'm sorry I can't I mean
314
00:15:58,190 --> 00:15:59,390
do you know what kind of side effects
315
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:02,050
these things have I mean ulcers internal bleeding
316
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,690
heart problems yeah they also cause irregular periods
317
00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:07,790
are you worried about getting those too well
318
00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:12,030
I am now see I'm sorry I'm way
319
00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:13,970
over my head here I'm gonna call Dr.
320
00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:16,910
Geary hey where the hell do you think
321
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:20,230
you're going yeah I told you the little
322
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,850
twit was lying come on Jerry how did
323
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,330
you get here who do you think drove
324
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:28,170
him what a spectacular waste of time hey
325
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,510
no I'm not through talking to you you
326
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,110
get back in here why are you yelling
327
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:34,090
at me look I told you I can't
328
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,230
take the pills did I tell you they
329
00:16:35,230 --> 00:16:37,430
can also cause loss of hair you know
330
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,910
just take the damn pills you crazy bastards
331
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:45,350
oh come on what are you doing now
332
00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:49,190
don't don't cry what Jim Jerry who am
333
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:52,350
I talking to here my name is Stephanie
334
00:16:52,350 --> 00:16:57,830
and I'm this many years old all right
335
00:16:57,830 --> 00:17:00,850
all right I'm sorry Stephanie here here sit
336
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:03,970
down look uh I I need a moment
337
00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:05,410
are you gonna be all right here all
338
00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:09,869
along yeah like you're all in love are
339
00:17:09,869 --> 00:17:12,170
you okay no I'm not okay they're driving
340
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:19,849
me crazy oh they're both in there oh
341
00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:23,310
brother what's the matter oh it's getting a
342
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,430
little crowded in room one what are you
343
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:28,670
talking about get Dr. Geary on the phone
344
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,770
we have a little problem who's in there
345
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:35,810
Jim or Jerry Stephanie Jim and Jerry have
346
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:39,930
had a child Dr. Becker I went into
347
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:41,810
room one and handled everything they'll be glad
348
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,350
to take the pills how'd you do that
349
00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:46,750
easy I'm having tea with Jim on Friday
350
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:49,310
and going dancing with Jerry on Saturday but
351
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:50,850
right now I have to take Stephanie to
352
00:17:50,850 --> 00:18:07,630
the zoo hey
353
00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,250
hey what are you doing eating over here
354
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:11,670
well apparently when I sprinkle salt on my
355
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:19,170
food someone thinks it's too loud okay something
356
00:18:19,170 --> 00:18:21,610
going on between you two I'm over here
357
00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:24,190
because someone thinks my voice is so shrill
358
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:27,890
it could make a dog cry you know
359
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:30,210
you're two behaving like children but you're something
360
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,910
having recently had one of my own that
361
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:34,170
Bob knows a little about so what you
362
00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:35,190
need to do is you need to find
363
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:37,510
some common ground find some little starting point
364
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:38,570
where the two of you can get together
365
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:43,010
and shut up there it is hey look
366
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:45,950
who's here wait a minute are you supposed
367
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,590
to be in school I just came in
368
00:18:47,590 --> 00:18:48,430
to see if you have the money you
369
00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:50,210
borrowed from me I need it for lunch
370
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:53,150
all right I forgot about that sorry man
371
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:55,790
there you go so uh you coming by
372
00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:58,770
after school today depends is there any chance
373
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:00,210
we can go to the toy store what
374
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:01,090
are you gonna learn at the toy store
375
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,750
there's no life lessons there I thought we'd
376
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:03,970
take a tour of Waltree you know maybe
377
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:05,370
see the stock exchange and after that go
378
00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:07,770
to an art gallery come on Bob come
379
00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:09,310
on what would you rather go to Ellis
380
00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:11,610
Island and learn about your ancestors I don't
381
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:13,970
want to learn about anything I want rollerblades
382
00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:15,790
or a game boy what are you talking
383
00:19:15,790 --> 00:19:18,150
about Scott that's what all the other kids
384
00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:21,750
got okay listen here's how it works I
385
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:24,290
act pitiful you feel guilty then I get
386
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:27,990
something cool but I gave you something more
387
00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:32,410
valuable what I gave you quality time a
388
00:19:32,410 --> 00:19:35,070
hand to guide you through life the knowledge
389
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:37,570
of knowing that you'll never be alone that
390
00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:40,870
Bob will always be here for you you
391
00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:49,630
suck you okay Bob kids
392
00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:55,390
they break your heart you work you sacrifice
393
00:19:55,390 --> 00:19:57,990
give them the best you have to give
394
00:19:57,990 --> 00:19:59,930
and then in the end they kick you
395
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:04,450
in the gut Bob it was just two
396
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:11,810
days goes by so fast you know Chris
397
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,690
I hate to say it but uh but
398
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,410
I think Bob had a point I mean
399
00:20:15,410 --> 00:20:17,550
you really do have to get along yeah
400
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,530
you're right I have way too sensitive I
401
00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:21,210
don't even remember how all this started it
402
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:25,410
was you saying okey-dokey look we like
403
00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:26,990
each other we just have to learn to
404
00:20:26,990 --> 00:20:29,410
deal with each other's little idiosyncrasies I say
405
00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:33,870
mayonnaise you say mayonnaise big deal exactly friends
406
00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:37,710
yeah friends oh good good I see everything's
407
00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:41,410
calm here at the Mayo Clinic coffee please
408
00:20:41,410 --> 00:20:43,110
we realize we're just being silly so we
409
00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,070
just put that behind us yeah it doesn't
410
00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:47,190
matter what anyone does we'll rise above it
411
00:20:47,190 --> 00:20:49,210
and not let anything annoy us oh good
412
00:20:49,210 --> 00:21:17,910
for you guys what you
30376
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