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1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,158
This is awkward.
2
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,232
The cute, smiley, popular girl.
I think she murdered me.
3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:12,473
So, you think that if a girl likes me,
there must be something wrong with her?
4
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,392
- That's not what we're saying.
- Dad!
5
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:15,993
She's my little...
6
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,792
WOMAN: Why are the coppers after you?
7
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,279
MAN: I didn't mean to hurt him.
8
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,590
I didn't mean to hurt anyone,
especially not you.
9
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:25,954
What are you doing?
10
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,235
Bruno!
11
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,554
You killed him!
12
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,352
(SILENCE)
13
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,273
(THUNDER)
14
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,998
(# GRIEG: In The Hall
Of The Mountain King)
15
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,195
(DOORBELL)
16
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,870
How would you describe your ability?
17
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,520
I call it lactokinesis.
18
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,319
What's it like being called
the world's first superhero?
19
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,789
That has to be the shittest power ever.
20
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,477
(it THE RAPTURE'. Echoes)
21
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,236
# The city breathing
22
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,038
# The people churning
23
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,431
# The conversating, the price is what?
24
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,396
# The conversating
This place is heaven
25
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,800
# And if you see them... #
26
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,999
Hey, man.
27
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,119
I can't believe this guy has gone public.
28
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,113
You'd better believe it.
Because he's going to make a fortune.
29
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,670
Maybe we should think about
doing the same.
30
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,115
The early bird catches
the massive pay cheque.
31
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,919
- Nice cock, man.
- Fuck off.
32
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,037
I don't think going public's a good idea.
33
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,636
Look, we finish our community service
in two days. Count them.
34
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,280
I don't know about you,
but I'm not exactly swamped
35
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,510
with lucrative job offers.
36
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,160
We need to think about
cashing in on our powers.
37
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,440
I mean, I'm immortal.
38
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,798
I shouldn't be flipping burgers,
I should be eating burgers,
39
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,110
massive burgers,
the size of my head.
40
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,556
Think about it, we could have
really cool superhero names.
41
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,392
Captain Invincible.
42
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,279
Mr Backwards.
43
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,749
I sound retarded.
44
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,319
The Invisible Cunt.
45
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,437
Why do I have to be the Invisible Cunt?
46
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,750
Because you just are, man. Get over it.
47
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,798
I mean, what's the point
in all of us having superpowers
48
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,520
if we can't use them
to make obscene amounts of money
49
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,160
and shag loads of drunk,
impressionable girls?
50
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,551
It's clearly what God intended for us,
and I, for one, will not let him down.
51
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,629
(SIREN WAILING)
52
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,510
- Simon!
- What?
53
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,240
What's going on with you and Jessica?
54
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:31,393
After what happened with her dad,
she says she can't see me, so...
55
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,756
Seeing a girl whose dad
tried to kill you -
56
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,150
it's never going to work.
57
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,197
You'll meet someone else.
58
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,236
Trust me.
59
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,917
(SHOUTING)
60
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,833
What was that?
61
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,433
They know about us.
62
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,999
Who?
63
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,354
Everyone.
64
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,555
What are you talking about?
65
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:10,032
There are reporters and TV cameras
outside, lots of them.
66
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,394
- Bullshit.
- No way.
67
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,436
Are you serious?
68
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,155
Right. I think I might take a little peek.
69
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,469
Don't open the door.
70
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,552
(SHOUTING)
71
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,675
That is really quite a lot of reporters.
72
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,671
How did they find out about us?
73
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,949
What? No, I didn't do anything.
74
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,119
I don't think I did.
75
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,875
I'm almost certain I didn't.
76
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,436
'(om!
77
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,200
You told them about us.
78
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,311
Yeah.
79
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,311
You sit on your arse
doing nothing for six weeks
80
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,836
- and then you sell us out.
- Looks like that, doesn't it?
81
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,797
Is that ironic?
82
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,279
Never too sure.
83
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,113
You're our probation worker.
You're supposed to sort us out.
84
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,918
I'm sure you'll be fine.
85
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,798
Like you give a shit.
86
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,998
- That's a good point. See you.
- Where you going?
87
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,436
Antigua. Hm.
88
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,639
So, this is goodbye,
so long and fuck off.
89
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,358
Wanker!
90
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,558
I'm actually very surprised
that it hasn't happened sooner.
91
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,756
We haven't really been that careful.
92
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,478
What are they going to do to us?
93
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,199
They'll treat us like freaks.
94
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:40,636
They'll lock us up
in a secret military facility
95
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,074
and conduct experiments on us.
96
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,312
Hey, no-one's experimenting on me.
I'm not a monkey.
97
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,596
What are we going to do?
98
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,671
We have to go into hiding.
99
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,718
We assume new identities.
100
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,918
We break off all connection
with our family and friends.
101
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,514
We wear disguises
and only go out after dark.
102
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,999
I'm not loving the sound of that.
103
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,435
Do you expect me
never to see my mum again?
104
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:07,594
Who's going to do my washing? Huh?
You have not thought this through.
105
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,320
- (DOOR SHUTS)
- There is an alternative.
106
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,198
Who are you?
107
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,671
I'm the person who can make it
so you don't need to go into hiding.
108
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,709
If this is handled right,
you're all making some serious money.
109
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,873
NATHAN: What are we thinking?
110
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,960
This isn't why we got our powers.
111
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,395
No. There is no why,
there's only what.
112
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,233
What are we going to spend
all our money on?
113
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,277
None of us even know
what we're doing after we finish.
114
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,395
Better than signing on.
115
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,551
What about the people we killed?
116
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,556
- I guess we should ask her about that.
- Yeah.
117
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,838
I'm not saying we have,
118
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,878
but what would happen,
hypothetically speaking,
119
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:10,512
if it came to light that we may
have killed one or two people?
120
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,830
Probation workers and such.
No-one important.
121
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:23,110
I would say that these people
you may or may not have killed
122
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,237
were evil.
123
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,799
You were protecting society.
124
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:32,192
You're not murderers. You're heroes.
125
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,714
Superheroes.
126
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,314
Rich, famous superheroes.
127
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,679
And if that doesn't work,
128
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,513
we vanish the bodies
and pay off the relatives.
129
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,796
Good answer.
130
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,155
Sign us up.
131
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,639
Good.
132
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,199
We're making a mistake.
133
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,351
We should all stick together.
134
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,589
Just do it with us.
135
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,552
This will change everything.
136
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,193
Call me when you change your mind.
137
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,399
ALISHA: I don't know. Do you trust her?
138
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,473
They're waiting for you.
139
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,437
They're calling you the ASBO Five.
140
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,158
I haven't even got an ASBO.
141
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,594
No-one cares.
142
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,957
OK, any questions you don't want
to answer, just let me handle it.
143
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,351
Teeth - good. Hair - beautiful.
144
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,999
Cock - in.
145
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,195
Flies - up.
146
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,312
Let's go be famous.
147
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:52,432
(# GRIEG: Morning Mood)
148
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,191
Hello, ladies!
149
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,480
Phew!
150
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,270
Laura, hi.
151
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,512
Have we heard anything from the French
about the cheese deal?
152
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,159
Do they know what I can do?
153
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,551
They know. They're calling you
Monsieur Grand Fromage.
154
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:37,835
Mr Big Cheese.
155
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,035
(PHONE RINGS)
156
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,634
Can we do this later?
I'm really busy right now.
157
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,199
Have you got her?
158
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,592
Take her straight to the hotel
and don't let her talk to anyone.
159
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:50,354
How wonderful. No, we're very excited.
160
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,875
Very excited.
161
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,634
NATHAN: See ya.
162
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,149
(WHISTLES)
163
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,080
Ah!
164
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,431
Jesus!
165
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,158
Sorry.
166
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,595
Why are you skulking around
in my bathroom?
167
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,672
My parents are freaking out
about the invisible thing.
168
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,070
I didn't have anywhere else to go.
169
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,390
Can I stay with you?
170
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,596
Yeah, sure, man.
171
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,432
Hang back a few minutes, though.
172
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,558
I just want to go slip these girls one
before they sober up.
173
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,711
(CROWD SCREAMS)
174
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:45,710
Sorry I'm late.
175
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,270
I was just enjoying the fruits
of our new-found fame and celebrity.
176
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,273
You know I'm not actually
talking about fruit.
177
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,716
Although you should see the size
of my fruit bowl - massive!
178
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,757
Did you shag those skanky girls?
179
00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,592
I most certainly did.
180
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,591
Loving the canapés.
181
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:05,639
I was just saying, if there's something
you don't want to see in the papers,
182
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,314
tell me now, and then I can deal with it.
183
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,119
Everything about me
has already been in the papers.
184
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,239
Do any of your ex-boyfriends have any
intimate photographs or videos of you?
185
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,914
I'll delete them.
186
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,957
Make sure you do.
187
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,431
Right. ls there anything else
I need to know?
188
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,431
Yes?
189
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,590
Just before I started
my community service,
190
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,478
there was an incident with this girl...
191
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,471
What kind of incident?
192
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,633
Right... I picked her up
in this dentist's waiting room.
193
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,509
She was having some kind of oral surgery.
So we go out - a few drinks,
194
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,991
a couple of kebabs,
then it's straight back to her place
195
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,674
and start with the shagging,
and I've built up a nice rhythm...
196
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,115
I'm getting really close
to blowing my load,
197
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,077
just hovering in the pleasure zone...
198
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,595
And then - barn! All hell breaks lose.
199
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,193
I tripled myself.
200
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,999
Sorry, I'm not familiar with that term.
201
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,593
You know - tripling.
202
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:07,071
It's when you come, puke and shit yourself
all at the same time.
203
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,559
For fuck's sake!
204
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,756
Three bodily functions. Doing the triple.
205
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,589
You're telling me
that's never happened to you?
206
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:15,909
No!
207
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,914
Anyway, I lied about my name, so she
probably doesn't even remember me.
208
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,877
I don't think she's ever forgetting you.
209
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,479
Anyone else?
210
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,198
Er...
211
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,715
I shagged a monkey.
212
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,791
Technically, it was a gorilla.
213
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,549
What are we doing here?
214
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,031
I wanted you to meet my other clients
and also some potential sponsors.
215
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,270
Just relax and enjoy yourself.
216
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,274
I should mingle.
217
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,195
Laura.
218
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,638
CURTIS: Close your mouth!
219
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,075
NATHAN: Sorry, sorry,
it just went down the wrong way.
220
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,154
Hi.
221
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,834
Good to see you.
222
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,911
Oh, you're that milk guy, innit?
223
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,913
It's not just milk.
It's all dairy products.
224
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,072
- You're here to make the coffees, then?
- I'm done making other people coffee.
225
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,514
People make my coffee now.
226
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,558
So, what's the point in having your power?
227
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,517
Were you one of those fat kids
228
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,116
who had milk seeping out
of his man-boobs during puberty?
229
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,599
No.
230
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:44,753
We had a kid like that at our school.
We used to milk him every lunch time.
231
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,911
I wasn't one of those kids.
232
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,479
Get off me! What are you doing?
233
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,278
- I'm milking you!
- Get off!
234
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,273
This reminds me of school.
That was some good times.
235
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,078
Fuck off!
236
00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,551
That's what the kid at my school used
to say, and he had a nervous breakdown.
237
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,395
Nathan.
238
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,472
How do you feel
about blowing your brains out
239
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,870
live on national television
tomorrow night?
240
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,633
Um...
241
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,557
Yeah, I'm definitely up for that.
242
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,399
Another, please.
243
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,560
- Hi.
- Hi.
244
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,000
Be nice to him, yeah?
245
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,434
NATHAN: ...Just me and a gun...
246
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,672
I'm not promising anything,
but I'll definitely try.
247
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,798
NATHAN: Maybe a tuxedo -
what do you think?
248
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:52,077
LAURA: Why not? They're planning
to film it at the community centre.
249
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,551
Right. So, it's like a whole
"going back to my roots" kind of vibe?
250
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,950
- MANY VOICES: Daisy! Daisy!
- Excuse me.
251
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,037
- Daisy, please!
- Daisy...
252
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,918
- Who's she?
- That's Daisy.
253
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,753
More and more people with powers
are coming forward.
254
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:10,989
What can she do?
255
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,674
She can heal people -
any illness, any disease.
256
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,070
She plans to cure the world.
257
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:20,154
She's like a pretty, modern-day
Mother Teresa with a superpower.
258
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,358
She is going to make a fortune.
259
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,635
MAN: Daisy! Daisy!
260
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,074
Daisy!
261
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,436
- That's far enough...
- No, no, let him through.
262
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,833
What's your name?
263
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,479
Neil.
264
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,995
I'm just going to touch your legs, OK?
265
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,433
Steady!
266
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,518
I'm walking!
267
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,155
(CHUCKLES)
268
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,912
Thank you!
269
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,793
Hi, honey.
270
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,674
Where are you going?
271
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,354
There's somewhere I need to be.
272
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,397
I thought you liked me.
273
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,791
Well...
274
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,713
So now there are other people with powers,
you're not interested in me?
275
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,360
There's a guy downstairs
who can rewind time.
276
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,829
You can do stuff with milk.
277
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,393
I'll show you what I can do.
278
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,194
(RETCHES)
279
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,871
What are you doing? What is that?
280
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,112
That's the Greek yoghurt you ate earlier.
281
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,510
It's moving up into your trachea.
282
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,879
You think I'm a nobody.
283
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,554
You're nothing.
284
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,031
Oh, Jesus, no!
285
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,393
There's puss seeping out of my cock!
286
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,357
- Ugh!
- One of those three girls,
287
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,000
or the girl I shagged
in the toilets at the club,
288
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,196
one of them had
poor personal hygiene.
289
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,079
This is a catastrophe
of tsunami-like proportions.
290
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,279
No girl in her right mind's going
to have sex with that.
291
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,239
You should ask that Daisy girl
to cure you.
292
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,038
Right.
293
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:50,670
She wants to cure the world,
she can start with my cock.
294
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,355
We'd just found that other boy's body
stuffed in the locker,
295
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,590
then Curtis grabbed my hand,
and he's all, like,
296
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,557
"Oh, I wanna bone you,
I wanna shag you senseless. "
297
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,472
REPORTER: This was just the beginning.
298
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,358
The five young offenders soon found
299
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,351
that each of them had been affected
by the storm.
300
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,195
Afraid they would be outcast from society,
they swore a pact of secrecy...
301
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,873
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
302
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,392
Oh, for...
303
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,232
Hi.
304
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,834
- Hi. Come in.
- Right.
305
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,671
It's Nathan, right?
306
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,196
Yeah, I just wanted to swing by,
you know, say hi,
307
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,839
as one superhero to another.
308
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,514
That's really sweet of you.
309
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,638
So, how mad is all this?
310
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:38,476
Totally mad. And look at you,
with your wonderful, amazing power.
311
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,551
I saw what you did with that guy
in the wheelchair.
312
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,678
That's like curing two normal people.
Double points.
313
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:55,038
And so... I was wondering...
if you could maybe help me out
314
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,475
with a small, personal affliction
of my own.
315
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,153
Of course.
316
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:00,878
What is it?
317
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,394
Well...
318
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,872
I appear to have contracted a sexually
transmitted disease of some kind.
319
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,473
I honestly don't know how I got it.
320
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,949
I'm sorry. I don't do
sexually transmitted diseases.
321
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,394
No?
322
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,596
Because of the rubbing.
323
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,036
Go to the doctors.
They'll give you some antibiotics.
324
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,554
How long will that take to work?
325
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,871
See, out there, there are a load
of drunken girls just staggering around,
326
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,396
waiting to be shagged.
Do you really want to disappoint them?
327
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,155
I'm sorry. I'm just not prepared
to spend my life
328
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,799
rubbing other people's genitalia.
329
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,871
Oh, come on. Just give it a quick rub.
330
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,270
It's lovely and clean.
It's pine-forest fresh.
331
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,510
I'm not going to rub your cock!
332
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,830
Where's your humanity?
333
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,233
It's not going to happen.
334
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,390
OK?
335
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,077
That's fair enough.
336
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,279
I suppose I only have myself
337
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,920
and that dirty bitch I had sex with
to blame.
338
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,717
What's that?
339
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:08,478
That's my Mother Teresa
Young Humanitarian of the Year Award.
340
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,678
It's for the charity work I did in India.
341
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:15,435
Good for you,
and good for Mumma Teresa.
342
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,477
God rest her beautiful soul.
343
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,359
I think I'm going to win that
next year myself.
344
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,475
Gotcha!
345
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:22,755
Urgh!
346
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,638
Get off!
347
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,518
- Gm '
348
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,591
(SCREAMS)
349
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,671
Fuck, what have I done?
350
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,634
Hey...look...just...
351
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,791
heal yourself! All right?
352
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,314
Heal yourself. That's it.
353
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,472
Rub it better, now. Rub it better.
354
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,600
What did you do?
355
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,636
It was an accident.
356
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,393
She was rubbing my cock.
357
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,360
She started foaming at the mouth
and then she tripped and impaled herself
358
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,432
on her Mother Teresa
Young Humanitarian of the Year Award.
359
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,790
I know it sounds unlikely...
360
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,917
but there it is.
361
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,271
The police are going to want
to interview you again,
362
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:15,399
but they seem to be satisfied
that Daisy's death was an accident.
363
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,436
Oh!
364
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:20,229
Oh! Thank you!
365
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,678
I just want to say -
366
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,319
it's a tragedy.
367
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,994
And no-one is more upset
about this than me.
368
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,398
But what's done is done.
369
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:36,873
I think we should all move on, huh?
Stronger, fitter, wiser.
370
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,078
- This could only happen to you.
- She was going to cure the world.
371
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,549
There's only so many times
I can say I'm sorry!
372
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,359
And if you're so cut up about it,
why don't you...
373
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,032
...and fix this entire situation?
- You know it doesn't work like that!
374
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,430
- I'm getting pretty sick of hearing that!
- Prick!
375
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,916
You fuck up like this again,
and I will finish you.
376
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,759
I'll try not to.
377
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,669
(THEY SCREAM)
378
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,516
I'll tell you something, though.
379
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,159
It's all cleared up.
380
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,072
You know... Down there.
381
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,152
As clean as a new pin.
382
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,639
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
383
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:39,515
If you're still in hiding, you should
probably do your invisible thing.
384
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,393
Oh, hey!
385
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,794
You're alone?
386
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,951
Uh-huh. So, are you all right, then?
387
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:03,397
I thought I'd feel like we'd made it.
388
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,395
You know, all this fame stuff. It just...
389
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,916
- feels a bit...pointless.
- Of course it's pointless.
390
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,958
That's why famous people pretend
to care about the Africans.
391
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,039
He knew it would be like this.
392
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,713
Who?
393
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,598
Simon.
394
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,150
We should've listened to him.
395
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,197
Do you know where he is?
396
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,476
No. No, I haven't seen him.
397
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:33,918
Nuts?
398
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,360
He said picking up litter
was the best time of his life.
399
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,673
I think that demonstrates
his rather low expectations.
400
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,671
If you see him, tell him he was right.
401
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,474
Cheerio.
402
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,476
What's up with you?
403
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,310
I never said that,
about picking up litter.
404
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,553
(LIFT PINGS)
405
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,951
When was that taken?
406
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,598
Where did you get that?
407
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,956
Someone gave it to me.
408
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,077
Who?
409
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,111
What is this place?
410
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,999
The guy in the mask...
411
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,514
he lived here.
412
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,111
Who is he?
413
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,319
It's you.
414
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,670
You came back so that
we could be together in the future.
415
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,111
You...
416
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,349
and me...
417
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,999
We're together?
418
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,960
Yeah, we were and we will be again...
419
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,153
I hope we will be.
420
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,636
You think you're surprised?
Imagine being me!
421
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:35,237
You're still you, but you're different.
422
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,277
You're more confident, and...
423
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,678
...my power doesn't work on you.
424
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:43,754
You can touch me.
425
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,834
And then I die?
426
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,799
You saved my life.
427
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,760
You said, if you didn't come back and die,
428
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,309
you wouldn't become
the person you needed to be.
429
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:05,189
It's like in Terminator, when John Connor
sends Kyle Reese back in time
430
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,271
so that he can be his father.
431
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,510
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
432
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:16,753
You protected us.
433
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,034
You're like a proper superhero.
434
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,117
When do I turn into this superhero?
435
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,073
So, what happens now?
436
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,150
I have no fucking idea.
437
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,679
I don't understand.
438
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,439
Since this whole thing
with the storm went public,
439
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,909
I've been taking on new clients
all the time.
440
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,277
The truth is, I don't have time
to represent you any more.
441
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,794
I'm sorry.
442
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,359
(# DELIBES: The Flower Duet from Lakmé)
443
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,398
What are you doing?
444
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,071
That's the cheese you had earlier,
445
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,993
slowly clogging your arteries...
446
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,358
OK, stand by for rehearsals, please.
447
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,200
If blowing my brains out
live on national television
448
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,910
doesn't get the ladies juiced,
nothing will.
449
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,277
How do I look?
450
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,919
Like a prick in a suit.
451
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,958
That's sexual jealousy,
because of my prowess as a lover.
452
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,316
Is it true you shit yourself when you die?
453
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,879
That only happened the once!
454
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,873
And I've got a bucket standing by,
just in case.
455
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,110
Do you want that? Just lost my appetite...
456
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,840
No, I'm lactose intolerant.
457
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,513
Does that mean you're afraid of cows?
458
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,989
No. It means I don't eat
cheese or dairy products.
459
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,117
Oh. I never knew that about you.
460
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,790
Are you all right?
461
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,393
Yeah.
462
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,357
We'll talk later, yeah?
463
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,875
Have I got time to go to the toilet
before you shoot yourself?
464
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,480
A piss - yes. A shit - probably not.
465
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:14,869
I'll come with you.
466
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,114
(TOILET FLUSHES)
467
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,598
(DRIPPING)
468
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,991
Oh, gross!
469
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:37,479
What's that?
470
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,757
There's something dripping
from the ceiling. I don't know what...
471
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,274
Kelly?
472
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:49,596
Kelly?
473
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,320
Quit dicking around.
474
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,835
(BANG ON DOOR)
475
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,277
Ah! Christ!
476
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:17,676
Sorry, man!
477
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,990
WOMAN: What fucking prick did that?
478
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,800
This guy really is
the most unbelievable tool.
479
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:25,995
I told you.
480
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,957
(BEEPING)
481
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,475
MAN: Roll titles. Live in 20.
482
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:50,236
Going live in five, four, three...
483
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,310
And now, for your viewing pleasure,
484
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,359
I will blow my brains out,
live on national television.
485
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:05,754
Enjoy.
486
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:15,993
Alisha?
487
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,959
Kelly?
488
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,513
What is that?
489
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,831
It's milk.
490
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,991
CURTIS: That milk guy?
491
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,913
We need to get to the hotel.
492
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:49,992
Oh, shit.
493
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,593
No!
494
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:27,630
And that, boys and girls, is how
you shoot yourself in the head.
495
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:29,836
I wouldn't recommend trying it at home.
496
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:30,990
(APPLAUSE)
497
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,555
I'm not being funny, but you might
want to fuck off out of here.
498
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,632
I'm expecting some seriously horny,
barely legal groupies
499
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,199
knocking on that door any second.
500
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,157
They're walking into a trap.
501
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:56,639
What's that?
502
00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:58,119
The milk guy.
503
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,111
He's got Alisha.
504
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,635
What? When did this happen?
505
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,870
He killed me, Nathan.
506
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:07,919
I'm fucking dead.
507
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,830
Curtis, wait!
508
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,434
Alisha? Nikki?
509
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,111
Curtis?
510
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:51,434
You nipple-sucking, breast-feeding
mumma's boy! You killed her!
511
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,991
Does that feel strange?
512
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,471
You can't...kill me.
513
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:16,076
I'm...immortal...
514
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,838
I'm not trying to kill you.
515
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,712
That's the mozzarella wrapping itself
around your central cortex.
516
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,995
You're going to spend
the rest of your life as a vegetable.
517
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,630
(PHONE RINGS)
518
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,396
Nathan?
519
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,354
(PHONE STILL RINGING)
520
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,471
CURTIS: Why did you do it?
521
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,275
Because the only time people like me
really get noticed
522
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,237
is when we kill a shitload of people.
523
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,920
They'll talk about this for years.
524
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,196
They'll talk about me.
525
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,189
Monsieur Grand Fromage!
526
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,671
That cheese shit won't work on me,
dickhead.
527
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,717
I'm lactose intolerant.
528
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,871
Then maybe I'll just
have to stab you instead.
529
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,792
They're all dead.
530
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,871
You have to save them.
531
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:45,753
We have to go back to before we were
famous. We have to stop him. Do it!
532
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,830
What are you looking at?
533
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,831
Nothing.
534
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,234
What?
535
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:22,633
There's something we need to do.
536
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,315
(DOORBELL)
537
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,033
That's it, then.
538
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,509
It's over.
539
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,240
No more community service.
540
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,834
I thought we'd be, like,
all celebrating and shit.
541
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:11,151
It doesn't really feel like
there's much to celebrate.
542
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,195
I just want you to know...
543
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:19,239
being here with all of you,
it's been the best time of my life.
544
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,799
Nah, I had a week in Spain last year.
That was way better.
545
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:30,555
What is up with all of you?
All the shit we've been through.
546
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,075
We're all here. We're all alive.
547
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:35,836
We made it.
548
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:40,835
Great(!) And I have no job,
no money, no girlfriend,
549
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:46,552
nowhere to live, no useful skills
or qualifications. OK, so I'm immortal,
550
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:49,473
but other than that,
I've basically got fuck-all going for me.
551
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:53,633
What are we going to do tomorrow?
Or the day after that?
552
00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:55,677
Huh? We have just been shat out
553
00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:00,072
onto a huge pool of piss with all
the other long-term unemployable.
554
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,679
Does anyone fancy a drink?
555
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,279
Yeah, sure, man.
556
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,637
You know, apart from all the killing
and the dying and stuff,
557
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:19,635
this community service really wasn't
as bad as I thought it was going to be.
558
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:35,279
# I don't know what's happened
to the kids today
559
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,716
# I don't know
what's happened to the kids today
560
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,714
# I don't know what's happened
to the kids today
561
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,793
# I don't know
what's happened to the kids today
562
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,919
# I don't know what's happened
to the kids today
563
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,079
# I don't know
what's happened to the kids today. #
564
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,270
I can give you your life back.
565
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,000
There was this guy took my power.
566
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,230
- You sold your powers?
- Yeah, mate.
567
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,118
That's how babies get turned into dwarves.
568
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,191
- I like dwarves.
- Me too.
569
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,157
My waters have broken! The baby's coming!
570
00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:27,916
I'm Jesus Christ and I have been reborn.
571
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,072
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to kill Jesus.
41275
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