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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:09,610 That first night, we watched Trainspotting. 2 00:00:09,650 --> 00:00:10,984 She said she hadn't seen it, 3 00:00:10,985 --> 00:00:12,930 and I was, like, "How could you not have seen that film? 4 00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:15,010 It's the story of your people." And she was, like, 5 00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,790 "That's Scotland, you dumb fuck." 6 00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:21,050 And you know that scene, where the baby's crawling on the ceiling, 7 00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:23,770 and it slowly turns its head around? 8 00:00:23,810 --> 00:00:27,530 It was during that scene that I knew I had feelings for her. 9 00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,010 Now every time we have sex, 10 00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:31,410 she can't climax unless that scene's playing. 11 00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:32,770 No, that's not true. 12 00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:36,570 That's Sadie being an asshole, and shitting on a nice memory. 13 00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:38,850 When did the professional partnership start? 14 00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:41,770 Well, I pitched the idea for mine that first night. 15 00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:44,170 But then we didn't get together for another three years, 16 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,490 but the idea stuck with me. 17 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:49,530 So, once Shazam came out, I knew it would be easier to pitch, 18 00:00:49,570 --> 00:00:51,730 you know, Shazam for clothes, so... 19 00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:52,930 Yeah. 20 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,725 It's insane that we're launching in a few months 21 00:00:54,726 --> 00:00:58,090 and we've been talking about this for, like,13 years. 22 00:00:58,130 --> 00:00:59,730 Sorry to interrupt. 23 00:01:03,970 --> 00:01:07,090 Will you forward Jacob's e-mail and tell them I'll return by end of day? 24 00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:08,810 - Sure. - Thanks, Hye Me. 25 00:01:08,850 --> 00:01:10,530 God, she's so fucking cool. 26 00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:12,970 I love her hairdo. 27 00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,330 Can I ask you, 28 00:01:14,370 --> 00:01:16,530 do you have any plans to start a family? 29 00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:18,130 - Of course. - Here we go... 30 00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:21,450 I feel if we were men, you wouldn't be asking that question. 31 00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:27,770 You think you can get away with murder cos you're so fucking pretty? 32 00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:28,890 Uh... 33 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:33,690 We do want kids, we are waiting to launch this baby first. 34 00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:34,850 And who's going to carry it? 35 00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:37,770 Oh, uh, definitely Leila, I... 36 00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:40,090 I couldn't do it, it'd be like Arnold Schwarzenegger 37 00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:42,370 in that film Junior. 38 00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:45,570 And if we are going to use my eggs for our first, then my age 39 00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:47,130 is going to be an issue. 40 00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:49,130 Yeah, but if I'm going through the bullshit 41 00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:51,730 of childbirth, that kid's going to have my old nose! 42 00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:56,090 I'm just kidding. 43 00:01:56,130 --> 00:02:00,170 What's it's like being women in such a male-dominated business? 44 00:02:00,210 --> 00:02:02,370 Do we have to answer that question? 45 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:07,130 I genuinely think it's a really stupid question. 46 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,370 We've talked about kids and marriage. 47 00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:12,210 We talked about it, you know, abstractly. 48 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,890 We also talk about euthanasia. 49 00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:16,890 You are the person I want to be with. 50 00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:20,130 How can you be so sure? 51 00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,610 Marry me. 52 00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:30,250 I am not going to marry you in the fucking toilet. 53 00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,610 I'm being serious. 54 00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:33,770 Will you marry me? 55 00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:48,050 Leila, put your hand on top of Sadie's hand on the mouse. 56 00:02:48,090 --> 00:02:49,610 Oh, that's so fantastic, 57 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:50,890 That's great, yeah. 58 00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:52,850 Normal day at work. 59 00:02:52,890 --> 00:02:54,050 Put your fist on your chin, 60 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,250 like you're both that statue, The Thinker. 61 00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:59,450 Oh, yes, that's perfect. 62 00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:02,570 OK, Sadie, cradle Leila in your arms, like she's your child. 63 00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:09,050 Oh, yeah. Oh... 64 00:03:09,090 --> 00:03:10,170 You look so good. 65 00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:11,210 That's fantastic. 66 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,410 Erm, kiss? 67 00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:17,250 Eyes to camera. 68 00:03:17,290 --> 00:03:19,930 Big smile, smile it up. 69 00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:21,250 Yes, that's it. 70 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:34,250 Don't go. 71 00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:37,850 It'll only be a few months. 72 00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:51,410 Is this you having a nervous breakdown? 73 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:55,210 You're not going to start writing on the wall in faeces, are you? 74 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,610 I read somewhere that this is a really good thing to do 75 00:03:57,650 --> 00:03:59,330 when you're upset. 76 00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:01,330 It gets your heart rate up. 77 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:09,650 Is it working? 78 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:10,690 No. 79 00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:19,490 You will tell me if you sleep with somebody else? 80 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:25,650 Do you really want to know? 81 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:27,930 Right... 82 00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:40,970 I'm really sorry I'm fucking everything up. 83 00:04:42,530 --> 00:04:45,490 If you're going to go, just go. 84 00:04:56,650 --> 00:04:58,490 She's totally on board. 85 00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,370 She thinks it's a really good idea. 86 00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:04,010 Like, she hasn't said that verbally, but I can tell. 87 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:08,770 And we're in a really good place, and, um... 88 00:05:10,450 --> 00:05:12,890 I don't know, you can still love and support each other 89 00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:15,010 and be on a break, you know? 90 00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:16,570 Only a lesbian would say that. 91 00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:18,970 Yeah, cos only a lesbian would be capable of it. 92 00:05:19,010 --> 00:05:20,530 Sorry, what I meant was, 93 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,970 only a lesbian would be so full of her own shit 94 00:05:23,010 --> 00:05:25,570 that she would say that and believe it to be true. 95 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:35,130 Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing, with Sadie? 96 00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:41,010 I love these talks we have. 97 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,363 How the fuck am I supposed to know 98 00:05:42,364 --> 00:05:45,960 if you're doing the right thing or not? You haven't told me anything. 99 00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:46,810 There's nothing to say. 100 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:48,250 She wants to get married. 101 00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:49,650 We're in different places. 102 00:05:51,730 --> 00:05:54,010 How long is the break? 103 00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:55,690 I don't know, a few months? 104 00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,570 So what are you going to do for sex? 105 00:05:58,610 --> 00:05:59,610 Meh... 106 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,410 I don't know, sex is complicated. 107 00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:02,570 How? 108 00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:03,610 Like... 109 00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:06,810 like, you strategise how you're going to get it, 110 00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:09,570 and then you anticipate it, and then once it's finally happening, 111 00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,490 don't you wish you could just fast-forward, 112 00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:13,890 cos all the pressure's on you to come, and you'd rather just 113 00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:16,650 give head than worry about your own orgasm? 114 00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:19,010 Nope, not at all. 115 00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:20,090 Good for you. 116 00:06:23,410 --> 00:06:25,090 What is this, on your neck? 117 00:06:25,130 --> 00:06:26,170 Nothing. 118 00:06:26,210 --> 00:06:27,690 Is that a hickey? 119 00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,650 Who did that to you? 120 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,890 Some girl I met. 121 00:06:32,650 --> 00:06:33,930 What happened? 122 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:35,450 That's it. 123 00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:37,290 The movie rights are available. 124 00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,570 I googled that guy you're living with. 125 00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:41,650 Yeah, what did you think? 126 00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:43,210 You should move in with me. 127 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:45,570 No, I'm not living with you and your parents in Chingford. 128 00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:47,810 It's better than living with some dickhead on Gumtree 129 00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:50,170 that peaked in 2005. 130 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,850 He's a successful novelist! 131 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,970 Published one book over a decade ago. 132 00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:57,010 No, you cannot text and drive! 133 00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,570 - I hate it when you do this! - I'm hardly fucking moving! 134 00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:03,570 You know, if he weren't white and straight, you would be impressed. 135 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:05,090 If he wasn't white and straight, 136 00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:07,690 he wouldn't have written a book called Testicular. 137 00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:14,690 Leila! 138 00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:16,370 - Hi. - Welcome. 139 00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:18,730 This is my friend, Deniz. Deniz, this is Gabe. 140 00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:20,010 - Dennis? - Deniz. 141 00:07:20,050 --> 00:07:21,610 - Dennis? - Deniz. 142 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,650 Deniz. 143 00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:24,050 Forget it, man. 144 00:07:24,090 --> 00:07:27,010 I'm sorry, have we met? I feel like I know you from somewhere. 145 00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:29,170 That's ever think, I have to go to work. 146 00:07:29,210 --> 00:07:31,530 I adore you, thank you. 147 00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:32,810 Pull yourself together. 148 00:07:37,730 --> 00:07:38,810 Hey, nice car. 149 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:42,770 See you later, Deniz. 150 00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:48,410 I don't think I've ever made such a bad impression 151 00:07:48,450 --> 00:07:50,690 in such a condensed period of time. 152 00:07:50,730 --> 00:07:52,730 No, that's just her face. 153 00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:55,530 Oh. 154 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,570 Zadie Smith, you a fan? 155 00:07:58,610 --> 00:07:59,850 Yeah. 156 00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:02,050 Yeah, there are a lot of things I like about her work. 157 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,776 I mean, do I think it's deserving 158 00:08:03,777 --> 00:08:06,210 of an endless stream of flowery praise? 159 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:09,730 Not really, but, you know, she's not untalented. 160 00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:11,090 - Coffee? - Yes, thanks. 161 00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:14,010 Gabe, I found another tub of that protein powder stuff. 162 00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:15,893 It hasn't been opened, do you want to take it back to the shop? 163 00:08:15,894 --> 00:08:17,930 Hi, I'm Laura, Gabe's sister... 164 00:08:17,970 --> 00:08:19,690 Oh, it's expired, I'm going to chuck it. 165 00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:21,330 - Hi, I'm Leila. - Nice to meet you. 166 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,570 OK, so I am done, remember to heat the chicken before you eat it. 167 00:08:24,610 --> 00:08:26,450 Yeah, well, I'm not a bloody animal! 168 00:08:26,490 --> 00:08:29,050 I'm sorry about the smell in the room, Gabe's last flatmate 169 00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,970 used to piss in bottles and leave it around. 170 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,330 We don't know that for a fact. 171 00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:33,690 OK, love. 172 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,890 Bye, Leila, nice to meet you. 173 00:08:35,930 --> 00:08:37,130 Nice to meet you. 174 00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:43,250 I've never lived with a woman before, except my sister. 175 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,250 Don't worry, I'm not going to try it on. 176 00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:47,410 Thank you for that. 177 00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:49,210 No, you don't shit where you eat. 178 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,210 Also, I'm gay so... 179 00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:53,770 Yes, of course. 180 00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:56,850 You're gay. 181 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:01,810 - There you go. - Thanks. 182 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:03,210 Oh, where do you keep the sugar? 183 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,650 - The spice cupboard. - Ah. 184 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,770 So how did you know that girl? 185 00:09:08,810 --> 00:09:10,730 Is she your l... your lover? 186 00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:14,210 No, we're just friends, we went to uni together. 187 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,290 Cool. 188 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,210 I should go, uh... unpack my stuff. 189 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,210 Cool, well, you let me know if you need anything. 190 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:22,530 - Will do. - Hmm. 191 00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:29,530 What do you feel about a clean-shaven vagina? 192 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,930 Completely shaved or trimmed really short. 193 00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,490 That's, like, my preference. 194 00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:36,810 - I've had a bad time with a lot of hair once, so... - What happened? 195 00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:39,570 Yeah, it was just sort of really awkward, I just... I couldn't stand 196 00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:40,927 to put my hand down, 197 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,690 it just felt like someone's head was down there, it was... 198 00:09:52,130 --> 00:09:54,610 Hi, this is Sadie, leave a message. 199 00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,050 Hey, it's me, um... 200 00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:01,090 Just wanted to say the place is great, and I hope you're good. 201 00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:02,370 All right, bye, Sadie. 202 00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:03,530 Call me back. 203 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:12,410 Oh... 204 00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:32,450 Deep, deep, deep... ! 205 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,450 From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, I'm Ira Glass. 206 00:10:37,490 --> 00:10:39,610 Brides in white, little three-year-old nieces sent 207 00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:41,690 waddling down aisles throwing rose petals, 208 00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:44,210 how many of these happy couples are actually mismatched? 209 00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:45,930 A huge number. 210 00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:48,370 It's frightening going to weddings. 211 00:10:48,410 --> 00:10:51,450 Meet Alain de Botton, author of articles with titles like, 212 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:53,330 Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person... 213 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:08,130 Humph. 214 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:09,450 Come on... 215 00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:37,090 W... what time is it? 216 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,370 9:42. 217 00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:40,370 Shit, that late?! 218 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,210 You got a big day? 219 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:47,490 Not really. 220 00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:48,530 Cool. 221 00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:53,330 Look... 222 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,810 - You're beautiful. - Thank you. 223 00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:03,850 Yeah. 224 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,890 You know, I really feel, like under a different set of circumstances, 225 00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:12,850 we could really pursue this, make it work, share a life together. 226 00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,210 - Really? - Yeah. 227 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,330 God, you're so great. 228 00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:17,370 I just... 229 00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:20,610 You know, you're my student. 230 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:26,450 I think it's something that we should leave unexplored 231 00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:27,810 for the time being. 232 00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:32,770 I had no idea you felt that way. 233 00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:34,730 I'm flattered, but... 234 00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:37,410 I think you're right when you say this can't work. 235 00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:38,450 Oh? 236 00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,878 I'm not really looking for a relationship at the moment, 237 00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:42,530 and then there's the whole age-gapthing... 238 00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:44,770 Well, I'm barely 30... 4. 239 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:49,090 You don't want a coffee, cup of tea? 240 00:12:49,130 --> 00:12:50,850 No, but... thanks. 241 00:12:54,490 --> 00:12:59,770 You know, because of your book, I thought you'd be different. 242 00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:00,810 Sexually. 243 00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:03,810 Different how? 244 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,770 I don't know, avant garde. 245 00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:08,130 It's not bad, it's just... 246 00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:09,650 ... you don't fuck like you write. 247 00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:12,330 It's interesting. 248 00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:13,410 See you. 249 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,050 Hey. 250 00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,210 Hey. 251 00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:31,970 After you. 252 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,690 Thank you. 253 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,570 Absolutely nothing is changing. 254 00:13:35,610 --> 00:13:38,250 We're just taking a break from being partners. 255 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:40,250 We're... still business partners. 256 00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:42,050 Definitely. 257 00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:45,050 So, while we're not feeling so compatible romantically, 258 00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:48,210 we're feeling incredibly compatible professionally. 259 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,290 Right, so has anybody got any questions? 260 00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:57,610 Mommy and Daddy love you very much. 261 00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:03,130 Hello? 262 00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:04,210 Hello, is this thing on? 263 00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:06,690 Guys, look what I found. 264 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:09,690 "Our love fuels the work." 265 00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:11,210 Right, I'm done here. 266 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:20,290 Hye Me, could you check in on her later and just make sure she's OK? 267 00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:21,330 Of course. 268 00:14:21,370 --> 00:14:22,450 Thanks. 269 00:14:29,090 --> 00:14:30,530 Your hair is different. 270 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,970 Yeah, you like it? 271 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:35,010 It's really painful, but I think it works. 272 00:14:36,890 --> 00:14:38,650 Yeah, it's... it's trendy. 273 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,610 Thanks. 274 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,450 You want to play Assassin's Creed? 275 00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:49,370 My friend John Chris leaves his console here 276 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,410 because he's an addictive personality. 277 00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:54,490 Thanks, but I have to go to Aphrodite, I promised my friends 278 00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:55,850 I'd meet them there. 279 00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:58,770 You're welcome to come, but it's going to be all lesbians. 280 00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:02,970 - Where is this place? - Dalston. 281 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:04,490 Cool, cool, cool. 282 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,050 I'll be the only guy there? 283 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,930 Only straight guy. 284 00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:10,970 I guess. 285 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,970 OK, yeah, it sounds interesting. 286 00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:14,770 Erm, they won't be offended if I'm... ? 287 00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:16,930 Dude, shit or get off the pot. 288 00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:23,170 So you got laid last night. 289 00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:24,770 Shit, were we loud? 290 00:15:24,810 --> 00:15:27,570 Yeah, it's really hard to jerk off when you're in my ear. 291 00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:32,050 - OK... - I'm sorry, does that make you uncomfortable? 292 00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:34,170 - When I talk about masturbation? - No, no, not at all. 293 00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:37,810 No, now you can, like, picture in your head and it's distracting? 294 00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:38,890 Yeah, just a bit. 295 00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:41,010 OK, now you know how I feel when I'm trying to jerk off 296 00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:43,970 and your girlfriend's putting on a show. 297 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,170 This is it. 298 00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:48,370 She's not my girlfriend. 299 00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:52,610 I was actually trying to break it off but, you know, it got confusing. 300 00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:55,610 I said, "Look, you're amazing, and in a different world 301 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,490 I could see us sharing a life but... " 302 00:15:57,530 --> 00:15:58,850 Why would you say that? 303 00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:00,090 I was being polite. 304 00:16:00,130 --> 00:16:01,970 By saying you want to share a life together? 305 00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:04,610 In a different world, like, you know, "You are worthy of love 306 00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:08,650 and companionship with someone LIKE me but not... " 307 00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:10,410 That is not at all what that means! 308 00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:14,570 Anyway, she flipped it, so suddenly she's dumping me, and it's a mess, 309 00:16:14,610 --> 00:16:17,370 because her take on colonial deconstruction was derivative, 310 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,090 and now it looks like I'm lowering her mark because she rejected me, 311 00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:21,930 when really, I was trying to reject her. 312 00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:23,570 She's your student? 313 00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:25,370 Oh, it's a temporary job. 314 00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:27,250 I'm more a novelist than her teacher. 315 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,170 Salman Rushdie's over 70, he only dates models in their 20s. 316 00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:33,090 Yeah, I wouldn't use Salman Rushdie as a fucking role model. 317 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:34,650 Oh, fair enough. 318 00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:36,490 Should I be wearing my glasses, do you think? 319 00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:38,330 Can you see without your glasses? 320 00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:40,210 I can see you up close, but I can't see far away, 321 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,810 I mean, I think I look better, but they leave these weird indents 322 00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:45,570 - on my nose, so I think I might leave them on. - OK, leave them on. 323 00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:48,050 - What about my cardigan? - Cardigan's fine. 324 00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:51,610 Oh, nice hair! 325 00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:54,170 What? No, shut up. 326 00:16:54,210 --> 00:16:55,730 It's hot. 327 00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:57,050 You are! 328 00:16:57,090 --> 00:16:58,170 What? 329 00:16:58,210 --> 00:16:59,210 Nothing, bye. 330 00:17:06,630 --> 00:17:09,100 Am I sad? Yeah, I'm sad. 331 00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:11,970 Do I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking she's there 332 00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:14,770 and I reach out and she's not and I'm completely alone in the world? 333 00:17:14,810 --> 00:17:16,050 Yeah, of course. 334 00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:19,770 But I genuinely think that we need to take this space 335 00:17:19,810 --> 00:17:21,730 before we can move forward. 336 00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:24,370 What did you do to your hair? 337 00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:25,890 Do you not like it? 338 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:28,250 No, it's lovely. 339 00:17:28,290 --> 00:17:30,090 Thank you. 340 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,330 So what are people's thoughts 341 00:17:31,370 --> 00:17:33,890 about the film Blue Is The Warmest Colour? 342 00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:35,850 Do you think it's a fair representation 343 00:17:35,890 --> 00:17:37,730 of lesbian women and their partners? 344 00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:42,210 Sadie's a fucking mess. 345 00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:44,410 I think she's spending the weekend with her mum. 346 00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:46,530 That's not possible. Grace drives her crazy. 347 00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:49,530 When the shit's hitting the fan, it's a comfort to be with your mum, 348 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:52,130 - even if she is a twat. - Can we just drop it? 349 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,090 Sadie will be fine, she always is. 350 00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:56,570 Sadie's the prettiest crier I've ever seen. 351 00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:58,610 I've been crying, too. 352 00:17:58,650 --> 00:18:01,170 - Did she cry when you guys broke up? - No, it was pretty mutual. 353 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,490 We didn't break up. 354 00:18:02,530 --> 00:18:03,690 We're just taking some time. 355 00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:05,210 The craziest thing just happened. 356 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,410 This can girl came up and she was like, "Hi." 357 00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:09,930 And I was like, "Hi." As she was like, "You're fit." 358 00:18:09,970 --> 00:18:11,570 And then she kissed me! 359 00:18:11,610 --> 00:18:13,050 A girl just kissed me! 360 00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:14,610 Oh, my God, you two! 361 00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:18,050 You're so beautiful and both so Irish. 362 00:18:18,090 --> 00:18:19,410 Can you, like, kiss for me? 363 00:18:19,450 --> 00:18:22,730 - OK, drunkie, let's go. - Aw... 364 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:25,130 Bye! Bye, friends! 365 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,810 Always with the straight girls. 366 00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:29,930 It's like Beth thinks her pussy is a gateway drug to lesbianism. 367 00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:32,610 I hate the show and it should never be used as a point of reference 368 00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:34,490 - for anything, but... - But. 369 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,690 ... Beth's a Dana and she's trying to be a Shane. 370 00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:38,050 That is so true. 371 00:18:38,090 --> 00:18:40,410 - Sorry, what are you talking about? - The L Word. 372 00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:41,810 Yeah, and just because one person 373 00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:44,490 made one fucking L Word reference tonight, doesn't mean 374 00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:47,330 you get to go back to all your friends and say that all lesbians do 375 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,330 - is talk about The L Word. - Jesus Christ! 376 00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:52,370 OK, she's in a cab. 377 00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:55,290 It would have been really weird if I took her home, right? 378 00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:57,650 You have to stop with the straight girls. 379 00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:59,810 I think she's bisexual. 380 00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:02,370 Sex tourist. All the girls you date are sex tourists. 381 00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:04,970 Does anyone know an actual bisexual? 382 00:19:07,810 --> 00:19:11,050 I'm pretty sure bisexuality is a myth. 383 00:19:11,090 --> 00:19:13,930 Yeah, that it was created by ad executives to sell flavoured vodka. 384 00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:16,570 I think the girl I'm dating might be bisexual. 385 00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:19,290 - Yeah? - The girl I was talking about? 386 00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:21,970 She and her friend get intimate. 387 00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:24,250 When they're out drinking with a group of people, 388 00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:25,810 or when they're alone and sober? 389 00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:26,850 Out drinking. 390 00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:31,770 She's perfect for Beth. 391 00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:47,530 I'm upset about you and Sadie. 392 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:49,050 I know it's none of my business, 393 00:19:49,090 --> 00:19:52,170 - but I think you're making a huge mistake. - OK. 394 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:54,610 Why did you say no when she asked you to marry her? 395 00:19:57,410 --> 00:19:59,370 That's none of your business. 396 00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:01,250 I'm sorry. 397 00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:04,370 - You're right, I'm protective of her. - I know. 398 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:07,210 - Because we used to be together. - Yeah, sure, I know. 399 00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,530 If you don't want her, you need to let her go. 400 00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:10,930 It's cruel to drag it out. 401 00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:12,530 - I need a piss. - What? 402 00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:14,130 - Piss! - Oh, OK. 403 00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:20,570 Hey, are you having a bad time? 404 00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,370 Your friends hate me. 405 00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:23,490 No, don't mind them. 406 00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:26,090 They just get tunnel vision when they're all together. 407 00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:28,410 - Don't take it personally. - Really, it's not personal. 408 00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:30,890 I mean, they just don't like men. 409 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,610 Are you fucking kidding me? 410 00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:34,770 You know, you were dying to go out with lesbians 411 00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:37,530 and the minute we don't match up to your wet dream fantasy, 412 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,890 we all become man-hating dykes? 413 00:20:39,930 --> 00:20:41,770 Should I go? 414 00:20:41,810 --> 00:20:43,970 I don't know. Do what ever the fuck you want. 415 00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:56,050 You and your boyfriend have a row? 416 00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:57,650 He's not my boyfriend. 417 00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:08,370 Ow. 418 00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:10,010 Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. 419 00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:13,370 I'm not really sure how to do it with my hands. 420 00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:16,210 But I'm going to just go ahead and use my mouth. 421 00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:17,890 No, no, it's OK, you don't have to do that. 422 00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:20,250 No, it's cool. I'm going to go ahead, stick it in my mouth. 423 00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:22,250 Yeah, I think we should have a breather. 424 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:33,050 I find you incredibly hot and I want you to fuck me. 425 00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:34,090 Now. 426 00:21:54,810 --> 00:21:56,250 - I'm going to get a condom. - OK. 427 00:22:10,450 --> 00:22:13,210 It's so funny, I've never seen one of these in real life. 428 00:22:16,890 --> 00:22:17,890 What? 429 00:22:22,490 --> 00:22:23,490 Um... 430 00:22:24,850 --> 00:22:28,330 So, full disclosure, I have not done this before. 431 00:22:30,370 --> 00:22:31,490 You're a virgin? 432 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:34,130 No... 433 00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:37,610 I've only had sex with women. 434 00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:42,170 Wow. 435 00:22:43,770 --> 00:22:44,770 Uh... 436 00:22:55,810 --> 00:22:57,210 Are you OK? 437 00:22:57,250 --> 00:22:58,960 - Yeah, I'm good. - Yeah? 438 00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:01,220 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure. 439 00:23:07,530 --> 00:23:08,730 What was it about me that... 440 00:23:11,010 --> 00:23:14,130 ... that made you think that I'd be the right person to do this with? 441 00:23:16,090 --> 00:23:17,490 Am I like a lesbian? 442 00:23:19,890 --> 00:23:22,214 Well, the fact that you keep trying to talk 443 00:23:22,215 --> 00:23:23,370 while I'm trying to fuck you 444 00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:25,570 does strike me as a dyke move. 445 00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:41,890 God, I've wanked to this situation so many times in my head. 446 00:23:44,930 --> 00:23:47,850 It's just not really what I thought it would be like. 447 00:23:53,370 --> 00:23:54,650 Maybe I should go? 448 00:23:56,290 --> 00:23:57,930 OK. 449 00:23:57,970 --> 00:24:00,770 - "No, stay... " - What? 450 00:24:00,810 --> 00:24:01,810 Nothing. 451 00:24:37,370 --> 00:24:38,650 - Leila? - Yeah? 452 00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:42,010 Could you pass my charger? 453 00:24:50,610 --> 00:24:51,610 Cheers. 454 00:25:04,690 --> 00:25:06,090 Holy shit, it's you! 455 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,130 Hey. 456 00:25:08,570 --> 00:25:10,890 This is how I know you. 457 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:13,050 Did you know how I knew you? 458 00:25:13,090 --> 00:25:15,730 - I can't believe you work here. I mean, it's so... - Working-class? 459 00:25:15,770 --> 00:25:17,170 I was going to say random. 460 00:25:17,210 --> 00:25:18,305 _ 461 00:25:18,306 --> 00:25:20,340 _ 462 00:25:20,341 --> 00:25:22,100 _ 463 00:25:22,101 --> 00:25:23,450 _ 464 00:25:25,930 --> 00:25:28,170 - Leila? - I'm going to propose to Sadie. 465 00:25:28,210 --> 00:25:30,850 - Come to the shop. - I'm on my way to her flat right now. 466 00:25:30,890 --> 00:25:32,970 I'm going to fill it with streamers and balloons 467 00:25:33,010 --> 00:25:35,010 and all kinds of stupid shit and surprise her 468 00:25:35,050 --> 00:25:36,570 when she gets back from her mom's. 469 00:25:36,610 --> 00:25:38,490 All right, I love you, bye. 470 00:25:38,530 --> 00:25:39,770 - Fuck! - What is it? 471 00:25:39,771 --> 00:25:42,900 _ 472 00:25:42,901 --> 00:25:44,060 _ 473 00:25:44,130 --> 00:25:46,130 - Is she OK? - Can you drive? 474 00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:47,170 Not well. 475 00:25:48,530 --> 00:25:50,330 I may be drunk. 476 00:26:06,290 --> 00:26:08,410 Don't do it! 477 00:26:08,450 --> 00:26:09,450 Yeah! 478 00:26:10,650 --> 00:26:12,170 What the fuck? 479 00:26:12,210 --> 00:26:14,210 - Don't do this. - Why not? 480 00:26:15,330 --> 00:26:18,650 Be honest, do you think I made a mistake? 481 00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:20,090 The fuck do I know? 482 00:26:31,770 --> 00:26:33,130 Shouldn't be here. 483 00:26:35,170 --> 00:26:36,170 Nice place. 484 00:27:03,650 --> 00:27:05,010 Jesus! 485 00:27:11,770 --> 00:27:13,250 Please don't stab them. 486 00:27:25,970 --> 00:27:26,970 Let's go. 487 00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:39,650 Leila. 488 00:27:41,690 --> 00:27:42,690 Fuck. 489 00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:56,770 I'm sorry I upset you earlier. 490 00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:00,850 It's OK, I was being an ass. 491 00:28:05,170 --> 00:28:06,250 Why DID you leave her? 492 00:28:12,010 --> 00:28:16,650 There's something really terrifying about her being so sure. 493 00:28:16,690 --> 00:28:17,730 And you're not? 494 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:20,170 Yeah. 495 00:28:21,570 --> 00:28:23,850 I wonder if there's something better out there. 496 00:28:23,890 --> 00:28:25,370 Not even better, just like... 497 00:28:31,130 --> 00:28:32,770 I can't believe she fucked Hye Me. 498 00:28:35,290 --> 00:28:38,130 And I can't believe I spit gum in a black girl's hair. 499 00:28:40,330 --> 00:28:43,090 It was an accident and I'm going to hell. 500 00:28:46,650 --> 00:28:48,370 You're more attractive than she is. 501 00:28:48,410 --> 00:28:49,650 Which one? 502 00:28:53,090 --> 00:28:54,090 Both? 503 00:28:55,970 --> 00:28:56,970 Thank you. 504 00:28:56,971 --> 00:29:01,971 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 36490

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