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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,978 --> 00:00:11,795 - Please. - All right, my quiz hounds! 2 00:00:11,797 --> 00:00:13,861 Who's ready for a battle of the brains?! 3 00:00:13,863 --> 00:00:16,624 Whoo-hoo! Yeah! 4 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,925 Why are we doing this? Can't we just drink? 5 00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:20,866 The prize is a five-coin bar tab, 6 00:00:20,868 --> 00:00:23,230 and our only competition is these idiots. 7 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:24,898 Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 8 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,394 - Yeah! - 9 00:00:26,395 --> 00:00:27,895 We can't lose! 10 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:31,065 Okay, before we start, just a little reminder about cheating. 11 00:00:31,067 --> 00:00:32,366 Use the honor system, guys. 12 00:00:32,368 --> 00:00:34,468 No looking up answers on The Oracle. 13 00:00:34,470 --> 00:00:37,086 I see all! 14 00:00:37,088 --> 00:00:38,205 All right, man. 15 00:00:38,207 --> 00:00:41,488 Okay, the first category is... 16 00:00:41,490 --> 00:00:42,609 political theory. 17 00:00:42,611 --> 00:00:44,411 Yes! Yeah, we got this. 18 00:00:44,413 --> 00:00:46,046 Which hunky emperor 19 00:00:46,048 --> 00:00:49,616 is well known for his juicy, trashy ass? 20 00:00:49,618 --> 00:00:50,852 What? 21 00:00:50,854 --> 00:00:52,486 - St. Maxwell the Thicc! - St. Maxwell the Thicc! 22 00:00:52,488 --> 00:00:53,590 Correct! 23 00:00:53,592 --> 00:00:54,855 That's 100 points to the Brew-Dog Crew! 24 00:00:56,158 --> 00:00:58,425 Okay, there was no intellectual merit 25 00:00:58,427 --> 00:00:59,393 to that question. 26 00:00:59,395 --> 00:01:01,328 Oh, so, you're an intellectual now? 27 00:01:01,330 --> 00:01:02,531 'Cause last time I checked, 28 00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:05,799 you were still fully shoveling people's shit for a living. 29 00:01:05,801 --> 00:01:08,902 Al, this is dumb. You don't need to prove yourself to these morons. 30 00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:09,903 Do a science question. 31 00:01:09,905 --> 00:01:11,371 - Okay. - Okay, fine. 32 00:01:11,373 --> 00:01:14,441 Which scientific theory explains the phenomenon 33 00:01:14,443 --> 00:01:15,576 in which every 18 months, 34 00:01:15,578 --> 00:01:18,612 the sun is blacked out in the midday sky? 35 00:01:18,614 --> 00:01:21,615 Oh! Anaxagoras' theory of the solar eclipse! 36 00:01:21,617 --> 00:01:22,983 - Wrong. - What?! 37 00:01:22,985 --> 00:01:24,551 Brew-Dog Crew, would you like to venture a guess? 38 00:01:24,553 --> 00:01:26,364 - If you think you know it... - Okay, I don't know. 39 00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:28,155 Uh, well... 40 00:01:28,157 --> 00:01:31,925 You know, sometimes, uh, the devil gets horny 41 00:01:31,927 --> 00:01:34,495 for the sun 'cause they're both made of fire. 42 00:01:34,497 --> 00:01:36,764 Well, some... sometimes he... He flies up there and he... 43 00:01:36,766 --> 00:01:39,299 And he [BLEEP] the sun so hard that all the fire in it... 44 00:01:39,301 --> 00:01:40,901 It goes out. 45 00:01:40,903 --> 00:01:42,569 - Correct! - Aw! 46 00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:46,006 Come on! 47 00:01:46,008 --> 00:01:47,941 That's 100 points to the Brew-Dog Crew! 48 00:01:47,943 --> 00:01:49,510 - Whoo! - I think it's pretty clear 49 00:01:49,512 --> 00:01:52,346 who the smartest people in Lower Murkford are. 50 00:01:52,348 --> 00:01:55,182 - Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! - Yeah! 51 00:01:57,186 --> 00:02:01,188 ♪ I've gone down that road again ♪ 52 00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:03,157 ♪ I've been there before ♪ 53 00:02:03,159 --> 00:02:05,626 ♪ Though want to know more ♪ 54 00:02:05,628 --> 00:02:08,395 ♪ It's always been ♪ 55 00:02:15,771 --> 00:02:23,143 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 56 00:02:30,686 --> 00:02:32,753 Boy, I gotta say, honey, 57 00:02:32,755 --> 00:02:37,524 that parking brake you invented for our cart is brilliant. 58 00:02:37,526 --> 00:02:40,227 And the beauty of it is you can't even see it. 59 00:02:41,063 --> 00:02:43,831 You know what's funny... No one will ever know 60 00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:45,691 what a smart idea you had. 61 00:02:46,769 --> 00:02:49,336 Yeah. No one. 62 00:02:50,339 --> 00:02:51,572 Ohh! 63 00:02:55,978 --> 00:02:59,046 Excuse me. Excuse me. Coming through. 64 00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,247 What happened? 65 00:03:00,249 --> 00:03:02,149 Oh, my God, it was a freak accident. 66 00:03:02,151 --> 00:03:04,618 Ted was just, like, minding his own business, 67 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:05,819 pulling the horse's tail, 68 00:03:05,821 --> 00:03:07,387 screaming, "Yucca, yucca, yucca," 69 00:03:07,389 --> 00:03:09,556 when out of nowhere, the horse kicked him in the face. 70 00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:16,396 Pretty bad wound. I should... apply some pressure. 71 00:03:16,398 --> 00:03:18,599 Oh, stop. Get out of the way. 72 00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:19,666 Let the doctor handle it. 73 00:03:19,668 --> 00:03:21,810 Looks like she's already got it covered. 74 00:03:26,775 --> 00:03:28,041 Dr. Goodman. 75 00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:29,376 Alexandra. 76 00:03:29,378 --> 00:03:31,578 I was just trying to stanch the blood flow. 77 00:03:31,580 --> 00:03:33,462 Yeah? Where'd you learn how to do that? 78 00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:35,449 Oh, uh, well, I found a couple pages 79 00:03:35,451 --> 00:03:37,451 of an old medical textbook in a garbage dump. 80 00:03:37,453 --> 00:03:39,853 So I guess I just picked up a thing or two. 81 00:03:39,855 --> 00:03:41,722 You know, we could use a smart person like you 82 00:03:41,724 --> 00:03:43,156 at the medical center. 83 00:03:43,158 --> 00:03:45,000 Would you be interested in a job? 84 00:03:48,564 --> 00:03:50,130 I think I would. 85 00:03:50,132 --> 00:03:53,258 Well, in that case, welcome aboard, doctor. 86 00:03:59,141 --> 00:04:00,540 - You called for me? - Yes! 87 00:04:00,542 --> 00:04:03,543 We have an emergency. Henry the Duck has escaped! 88 00:04:03,545 --> 00:04:04,745 We have to find him. 89 00:04:04,747 --> 00:04:07,180 Summon the Royal Army, tell them to search the Earth! 90 00:04:07,182 --> 00:04:09,249 Uh, you own over a hundred ducks, buddy. 91 00:04:09,251 --> 00:04:10,851 Just play with one of the other ones. 92 00:04:10,853 --> 00:04:13,253 No, but I want that one! 93 00:04:13,255 --> 00:04:15,489 Why can't I have this one thing?! 94 00:04:15,491 --> 00:04:17,991 I ask for so little! 95 00:04:19,828 --> 00:04:23,363 Prince, the answer is no, okay? 96 00:04:25,935 --> 00:04:27,200 I've run off! 97 00:04:27,202 --> 00:04:29,469 Ugh! Damn it! 98 00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:32,973 Oh, Mr. Worm, you're my only friend. 99 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:40,593 Welp, 100 00:04:40,716 --> 00:04:43,450 back to being alone and having nothing. 101 00:04:59,668 --> 00:05:01,326 Wow! 102 00:05:02,738 --> 00:05:05,172 I can't believe it. 103 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:08,408 My daughter the doctor. I'm so proud. 104 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:09,977 Thanks, Dad. 105 00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:12,012 Gotta say, I'm kinda nervous. 106 00:05:12,014 --> 00:05:12,946 What if I fail? 107 00:05:12,948 --> 00:05:14,247 At least you're trying. 108 00:05:14,249 --> 00:05:16,416 Most people in this town just punch the clock, 109 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,852 but you're doing something you believe in. 110 00:05:18,854 --> 00:05:20,095 Thanks, Mags. 111 00:05:20,789 --> 00:05:23,598 Okay. Here I go. 112 00:05:28,297 --> 00:05:29,629 Go, Doctor! Go, Doctor! 113 00:05:29,631 --> 00:05:30,630 She's a doctor. 114 00:05:30,632 --> 00:05:32,332 - Dr. Al! - Her name's Al. 115 00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:33,900 My daughter's a doctor. 116 00:05:33,902 --> 00:05:36,103 Her name is Dr. Al! 117 00:05:36,105 --> 00:05:37,471 Welcome, Mr. Shoemaker. 118 00:05:37,473 --> 00:05:39,373 This is my colleague, Dr. Alexandra. 119 00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:40,907 - Hello. - Hello. 120 00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:42,275 What seems to be the problem? 121 00:05:42,277 --> 00:05:44,745 Well, I've had this stuffy nose 122 00:05:44,747 --> 00:05:46,046 for the last few days, now. 123 00:05:46,048 --> 00:05:49,383 Aha! That's a very common ailment. 124 00:05:49,385 --> 00:05:51,985 Typical treatment for stuffiness of the nose region 125 00:05:51,987 --> 00:05:56,256 is we will have put leaches all over your penis, 126 00:05:56,258 --> 00:05:59,793 up and down, all over it, and your testicles, too. 127 00:05:59,795 --> 00:06:04,731 Uh, and that will distract the mucus fairies, 128 00:06:04,733 --> 00:06:07,768 uh, from their dancing and their stomping. 129 00:06:08,337 --> 00:06:10,562 And you have to drink your pee. 130 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,206 - My own pee? - Yes. 131 00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:15,242 Oh. How much? 132 00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:16,643 All of it. 133 00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:18,545 Don't drop a drip. Everything that comes out, 134 00:06:18,547 --> 00:06:20,080 just stick it right back in your mouth. 135 00:06:20,082 --> 00:06:21,782 In fact, you'd be best suited to just kick your legs 136 00:06:21,784 --> 00:06:24,117 over your head and piss in your mouth 137 00:06:24,119 --> 00:06:26,019 for the rest of your life. 138 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,162 Huh. 139 00:06:27,589 --> 00:06:28,789 All right. 140 00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:30,991 All right. Consider yourself doctored. 141 00:06:32,027 --> 00:06:34,061 Uh, Dr. Goodman? 142 00:06:34,063 --> 00:06:35,246 I'm sorry to interrupt. 143 00:06:35,248 --> 00:06:39,566 Um, are you sure that this is the best procedure 144 00:06:39,568 --> 00:06:41,635 for a stuffy nose? I... 145 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,406 Who's the doctor here? 146 00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:47,941 Where is he? 147 00:06:47,943 --> 00:06:49,509 It's my first day. I... 148 00:06:49,511 --> 00:06:52,687 Yeah. Can I consult with you in private, Dr. Alexandra? 149 00:06:53,202 --> 00:06:54,231 Yeah. 150 00:06:55,811 --> 00:06:57,359 Just relax. 151 00:07:06,284 --> 00:07:08,453 I have no idea what I'm doing. 152 00:07:08,609 --> 00:07:09,606 What? 153 00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:11,264 I don't know what I'm doing. 154 00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:14,209 What? 155 00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:17,704 Help me! 156 00:07:19,044 --> 00:07:20,310 Okay. Just... Okay. 157 00:07:20,312 --> 00:07:21,444 Just... I want to get this straight. 158 00:07:21,446 --> 00:07:23,594 You... You're a total fraud? 159 00:07:23,596 --> 00:07:26,006 It didn't start that way, okay? 160 00:07:26,587 --> 00:07:27,986 A few years ago, I had this idea 161 00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:31,656 that I could fix people's bodies using medicine. 162 00:07:31,658 --> 00:07:33,425 Sounded great, right? I pitched it to investors. 163 00:07:33,427 --> 00:07:34,726 They went nuts. 164 00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:36,595 And, sure, yeah, the science wasn't there, 165 00:07:36,597 --> 00:07:39,067 but I figured fake it till you make it, right? 166 00:07:39,785 --> 00:07:41,018 Cut to now. 167 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,243 I still haven't figured this shit out! 168 00:07:43,268 --> 00:07:45,268 And the patients keep coming! 169 00:07:45,305 --> 00:07:47,405 Dr. Goodman, this is wrong. 170 00:07:47,407 --> 00:07:49,874 You need to stop doing this. 171 00:07:49,876 --> 00:07:51,743 - I can't. - Why not? 172 00:07:51,745 --> 00:07:53,665 Because I'm a weak man. 173 00:07:54,881 --> 00:07:56,840 [BLEEP] 174 00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:01,186 I once made a man with the flu eat his own dick. 175 00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:04,723 - Oh, no. - Oh, my God. 176 00:08:07,294 --> 00:08:09,561 You there. Where did you get that duck? 177 00:08:09,563 --> 00:08:11,363 Uh, what, you mean Bucket? 178 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,365 Uh, I found him. 179 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,033 It was a miracle. 180 00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:18,603 You know, until he came along, my entire life, I had nothing. 181 00:08:18,605 --> 00:08:23,041 And now I have this one little thing that makes me happy. 182 00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:24,362 I'm so... 183 00:08:25,447 --> 00:08:26,745 I'm so grateful. 184 00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:29,981 Vexler, make the dirty man give Henry back to me. 185 00:08:29,983 --> 00:08:31,283 All right, how much? 186 00:08:31,285 --> 00:08:33,351 Oh, no, Bucket's not for sale. 187 00:08:33,353 --> 00:08:36,288 - Trick him. - Now, hold on there, pal. 188 00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:38,490 I'm not just some rube, you know? 189 00:08:38,492 --> 00:08:40,692 You might be some slick-talking castle guy, 190 00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:44,729 but I've got one thing you don't... street smarts. 191 00:08:44,731 --> 00:08:46,665 - You see this magic egg? - I'm listening. 192 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:49,234 You could keep that one duck, or you could take this egg, 193 00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:51,770 and when it hatches, you will have... 194 00:08:51,772 --> 00:08:52,837 four ducks. 195 00:08:52,839 --> 00:08:55,006 And one of them will be Bucket? 196 00:08:55,008 --> 00:08:58,813 Oh, man, wow. Are you sure you feel good about this? 197 00:08:59,179 --> 00:09:02,555 You're right. He may try and follow us and steal Henry back. 198 00:09:02,557 --> 00:09:03,782 Trick him further. 199 00:09:03,784 --> 00:09:06,318 Yes, one of them will be Bucket, 200 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,286 but only if you sit on this egg 201 00:09:08,288 --> 00:09:11,156 for a really, really long time. 202 00:09:11,158 --> 00:09:12,994 Do I have to be naked? 203 00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:15,914 I mean... 204 00:09:17,364 --> 00:09:18,997 I guess? 205 00:09:18,999 --> 00:09:20,198 Sold! 206 00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:33,745 Finally, one piece of good fortune in my life. 207 00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:39,584 - So, the doctor's a phony? - Yep. 208 00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:41,920 And I guess I should have suspected something 209 00:09:41,922 --> 00:09:43,488 when he hired me off the street 210 00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:45,357 without checking my credentials 211 00:09:45,359 --> 00:09:46,624 or even knowing my full name. 212 00:09:46,626 --> 00:09:49,527 Yeah, that was a red flag. 213 00:09:49,529 --> 00:09:50,729 So, what are you gonna do now? 214 00:09:50,731 --> 00:09:52,897 Well, I'm gonna quit, obviously, 215 00:09:52,899 --> 00:09:55,533 and then I'm gonna blow the whistle on him. 216 00:09:55,535 --> 00:09:57,569 I mean, the guy is a total con artist. 217 00:09:57,571 --> 00:10:00,805 I need to tell people that this whole doctor thing's a sham. 218 00:10:00,807 --> 00:10:04,609 Hi-eee! We just wanted to come over 219 00:10:04,611 --> 00:10:06,344 and say congrats on the big news. 220 00:10:06,346 --> 00:10:07,488 What big news? 221 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:10,448 Oh, your doctor stuff got you in the Time 100. 222 00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:12,250 What's the Time 100? 223 00:10:12,252 --> 00:10:14,953 I scan the mists of time and divine 224 00:10:14,955 --> 00:10:19,524 which 100 souls have the most buzz! 225 00:10:19,526 --> 00:10:21,359 Whoa! That's crazy! 226 00:10:21,361 --> 00:10:24,496 Everyone's talking about you. You're, like, a celebrity. 227 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,831 Wesley Pervert even rated your feet. 228 00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,486 7.5. 229 00:10:28,969 --> 00:10:30,835 Guys, listen, I, um... 230 00:10:30,837 --> 00:10:33,905 I need to come clean about the whole doctor thing. 231 00:10:33,907 --> 00:10:35,440 Wait. Stop. 232 00:10:35,442 --> 00:10:38,643 Uh, first, I need to come clean. 233 00:10:38,645 --> 00:10:40,879 Al, I know I've been really hard on you in the past, 234 00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:44,753 but the truth is, deep down... 235 00:10:46,851 --> 00:10:48,052 ...I was jealous. 236 00:10:48,054 --> 00:10:50,321 I mean, you're so smart, 237 00:10:50,323 --> 00:10:51,856 and I think I always knew that someday 238 00:10:51,858 --> 00:10:54,885 you would accomplish things I could never dream of. 239 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:56,225 This is proof. 240 00:10:56,227 --> 00:11:02,133 Yeah, it's almost like you won, you know? 241 00:11:02,135 --> 00:11:03,768 Sorry. Um, 242 00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:06,850 you were gonna say something about being a doctor? 243 00:11:06,852 --> 00:11:09,694 Uh, I... 244 00:11:10,444 --> 00:11:11,654 forget. 245 00:11:12,251 --> 00:11:15,619 Oh. Well, here's to Doctor Al! 246 00:11:15,644 --> 00:11:19,312 Yeah, Doc-tor Al! 247 00:11:36,002 --> 00:11:38,336 You called for me? 248 00:11:38,338 --> 00:11:39,971 Something's wrong. 249 00:11:39,973 --> 00:11:42,240 I can't stop thinking about that dirty man we tricked 250 00:11:42,242 --> 00:11:43,741 and left for dead in the woods. 251 00:11:43,743 --> 00:11:47,946 And now I have this strange, painful feeling in my stomach. 252 00:11:47,948 --> 00:11:49,380 You don't think he infected me 253 00:11:49,382 --> 00:11:50,748 with some poor-person disease, do you? 254 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:53,613 I think what you're feeling is guilt. 255 00:11:54,293 --> 00:11:56,060 I-I'm not familiar. 256 00:11:56,156 --> 00:11:58,890 It's this feeling you sometimes have 257 00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:01,192 when you do something bad to someone. 258 00:12:01,194 --> 00:12:03,661 Oh, do you think I did something bad to the man in the woods? 259 00:12:03,663 --> 00:12:05,029 Oh, yeah, it was super [BLEEP] up. 260 00:12:05,031 --> 00:12:07,131 I mean, that duck was all he had, and... 261 00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:08,333 And you took it from him, 262 00:12:08,335 --> 00:12:09,601 even though you have a hundred ducks, 263 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,869 and then you left him sitting alone, 264 00:12:10,871 --> 00:12:13,174 naked, on a rock. It's psycho. 265 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:14,639 Hmm. 266 00:12:17,477 --> 00:12:19,055 Okay. 267 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:22,580 Well, make the guilt go away, please. 268 00:12:22,582 --> 00:12:25,228 Mm, I think you need to do that yourself. 269 00:12:25,506 --> 00:12:27,021 How? 270 00:12:28,107 --> 00:12:29,774 Well... 271 00:12:35,061 --> 00:12:37,929 You took something from him and now you feel bad. 272 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:41,578 So, in order to feel better, you should...? 273 00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:45,069 Just kill him. 274 00:12:45,071 --> 00:12:47,894 All right, I'm gonna take some opium and go to bed. 275 00:13:01,988 --> 00:13:04,188 Henry, why aren't you eating? 276 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,437 Henry? 277 00:13:10,929 --> 00:13:11,995 Bucket? 278 00:13:18,872 --> 00:13:21,573 - So, you're not quitting. - Well, I was going to, 279 00:13:21,575 --> 00:13:22,674 but then I realized Dr. Goodman's 280 00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:24,208 actually got some great ideas. 281 00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:26,177 And I mean, yeah, the science isn't fully there yet, 282 00:13:26,179 --> 00:13:28,746 but I think if we just keep working at it, 283 00:13:28,748 --> 00:13:30,014 we can really help people. 284 00:13:30,016 --> 00:13:31,616 Oh, so it's about helping people. 285 00:13:31,618 --> 00:13:33,017 'Cause it seemed like it was just about impressing 286 00:13:33,019 --> 00:13:34,686 Mary Baker and her idiot friends. 287 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,655 What?! No! No, it is not about that. 288 00:13:37,657 --> 00:13:39,123 Come on, this is something I believe in. 289 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:40,858 You'll see. Me and Dr. Goodman... 290 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:42,764 We're gonna change the world. 291 00:13:44,898 --> 00:13:46,297 Dr. Goodman! 292 00:13:46,299 --> 00:13:47,254 Snap out of it! 293 00:13:47,256 --> 00:13:49,367 We need to figure out medicine now. 294 00:13:49,369 --> 00:13:51,402 You don't think I've tried? 295 00:13:51,404 --> 00:13:53,438 It's impossible! 296 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:57,742 I mean, tell me what the [BLEEP] this thing is here, huh? 297 00:13:57,744 --> 00:14:01,079 What the [BLEEP] am I looking at right now? 298 00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:03,214 This big [BLEEP] thing made of bones? 299 00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:06,951 Okay, let's just start with the easy patients, yeah? 300 00:14:06,953 --> 00:14:08,348 - Okay. - Like, uh, 301 00:14:08,373 --> 00:14:10,388 this guy... He just has a headache. 302 00:14:10,390 --> 00:14:13,891 Headache. Yeah. No, I have an... I have an... I have an idea. 303 00:14:13,893 --> 00:14:15,713 Okay, great. What is it? 304 00:14:17,497 --> 00:14:19,397 - We could kill ourselves. - What?! 305 00:14:19,399 --> 00:14:23,482 Yeah, blow our [BLEEP] brains out, take the easy way. 306 00:14:23,484 --> 00:14:25,136 - Ohh! - Get it together, man! 307 00:14:25,138 --> 00:14:27,238 Okay, we are in too deep to quit! 308 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,395 We just... We just gotta fake it until we make it! 309 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:33,378 All right, you're right. [BLEEP] these people. 310 00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,946 If they're dumb enough to fall for this shit, 311 00:14:34,948 --> 00:14:36,447 they deserve what they get. 312 00:14:36,449 --> 00:14:37,694 Yoo-hoo? 313 00:14:39,465 --> 00:14:40,863 Dad? 314 00:14:42,735 --> 00:14:44,268 What are you doing here? 315 00:14:44,293 --> 00:14:45,859 We have a little situation. 316 00:14:45,925 --> 00:14:48,159 I found your brother naked in the woods, 317 00:14:48,161 --> 00:14:51,229 and, uh, he seems to have caught a bit of a chill. 318 00:14:51,231 --> 00:14:53,231 Normally, I would just put him in front of the fire, 319 00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:54,365 but then I remembered 320 00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:56,267 we've got a famous doctor in the family. 321 00:14:56,269 --> 00:14:58,336 So I figured I'd check with the expert. 322 00:14:58,338 --> 00:15:00,805 Well, you certainly came to the right place 323 00:15:00,807 --> 00:15:04,742 'cause we're real doctors with real medicine knowledge. 324 00:15:04,744 --> 00:15:06,778 Great! Well, what do you suggest? 325 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,080 Well, due to the client's cold temperature, 326 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:13,584 I suggest we cut off his balls, and... 327 00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:15,148 you should eat your balls. 328 00:15:15,722 --> 00:15:18,256 Whoa! VIP treatment! 329 00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:20,258 Pays to have connections, huh? 330 00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:24,295 Yeah! Thanks, Al. 331 00:15:24,297 --> 00:15:26,117 Let's get you in there. 332 00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:29,634 All right, I guess, let's go kill this guy. 333 00:15:35,721 --> 00:15:37,187 Hey, the doctor is in! 334 00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:40,882 Hey, dad, I was thinking, what if you, um, 335 00:15:40,884 --> 00:15:43,347 instead of doing this procedure, just take Mikey home? 336 00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:46,254 You can just put him by the fire, and he'll be fine. 337 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,479 But the doctor said we should feed him his own balls. 338 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:49,880 He was clear, Al. 339 00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:54,592 Yeah, um, Dr. Goodman is feeling a little off today. 340 00:15:54,592 --> 00:15:56,859 A hard rain's gonna come. 341 00:15:56,861 --> 00:15:59,495 And it's gonna wash all you bastards 342 00:15:59,497 --> 00:16:02,664 down the [BLEEP] drain. 343 00:16:02,666 --> 00:16:04,199 He seems pretty sharp to me. 344 00:16:04,201 --> 00:16:06,735 But, hey, if he's not up for it, maybe you can fill in. 345 00:16:06,737 --> 00:16:08,993 I mean, you're a doctor, right? 346 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:13,081 No, Dad. I'm not. 347 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,739 And neither is he. 348 00:16:14,764 --> 00:16:17,168 This whole thing's a scam. 349 00:16:17,681 --> 00:16:19,982 Aw, geez. Well... 350 00:16:19,984 --> 00:16:23,299 I'm glad you told us, but what about everybody else? 351 00:16:27,091 --> 00:16:28,554 You're right. 352 00:16:29,493 --> 00:16:31,627 I've got to put a stop to this. 353 00:16:31,629 --> 00:16:32,861 I'll... see you guys at home. 354 00:16:32,863 --> 00:16:34,229 Where are you going? 355 00:16:34,231 --> 00:16:35,597 To the media. 356 00:16:35,599 --> 00:16:37,566 Hear ye, hear ye! 357 00:16:37,568 --> 00:16:39,301 I am the Town Crier! 358 00:16:39,303 --> 00:16:43,305 And you're watching "Good Morning Lower Murkford!" 359 00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:52,815 My guest today is a rising star 360 00:16:52,817 --> 00:16:55,083 in the medical industry here to talk to us 361 00:16:55,085 --> 00:16:57,052 about her incredible work in... 362 00:16:57,054 --> 00:17:01,089 Actually, um, it's... It's actually, uh... 363 00:17:01,091 --> 00:17:02,524 I'm... I'm here to out Goodman as a fraud, 364 00:17:02,526 --> 00:17:03,625 and that it's actually a bad thing. 365 00:17:03,627 --> 00:17:04,993 Okay, yeah, I gotcha. 366 00:17:04,995 --> 00:17:06,195 Okay. 367 00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:10,599 My guest today is a whistleblower 368 00:17:10,601 --> 00:17:13,641 with a stunning revelation. 369 00:17:14,104 --> 00:17:17,639 The Lower Murkford Center for Medicine and Haircuts 370 00:17:17,641 --> 00:17:19,341 is a scam. 371 00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:20,943 I knew it! 372 00:17:20,945 --> 00:17:23,359 Dr. Goodman is a fraud. 373 00:17:24,715 --> 00:17:26,404 And... 374 00:17:27,351 --> 00:17:28,684 so am I. 375 00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:40,128 Oh, my God, that was so hard to watch. 376 00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:42,397 Are you just, like, mortified? 377 00:17:42,399 --> 00:17:43,932 I would be dying. 378 00:17:43,934 --> 00:17:47,402 So, what's the plan now? Do you just go back to shoveling shit? 379 00:17:47,404 --> 00:17:49,404 Yep, just like before. 380 00:17:49,406 --> 00:17:52,007 Yeah, but now everybody, like, really hates you, 381 00:17:52,009 --> 00:17:53,075 even the Oracle. 382 00:17:53,077 --> 00:17:56,378 - Bitch! - Whoa! 383 00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:57,379 - Ohh. - Shut up! 384 00:17:57,381 --> 00:17:58,413 - Ow! - Burn. 385 00:17:58,415 --> 00:18:00,682 Forget these idiots. I'll grab you a beer. 386 00:18:00,684 --> 00:18:02,426 Thanks, Maggie. 387 00:18:14,598 --> 00:18:15,964 Ah, there you are. 388 00:18:15,966 --> 00:18:17,948 I've been looking all over for you. 389 00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:19,207 Why? 390 00:18:20,471 --> 00:18:22,001 To give you this. 391 00:18:25,476 --> 00:18:26,875 The egg isn't real. 392 00:18:26,877 --> 00:18:29,044 It's just a regular rock. 393 00:18:29,046 --> 00:18:31,079 What, you tricked me? 394 00:18:31,081 --> 00:18:33,982 Why... Why would you do that? 395 00:18:33,984 --> 00:18:35,284 Well, to be honest, dirty man, 396 00:18:35,286 --> 00:18:36,752 I think it's because sometimes 397 00:18:36,754 --> 00:18:38,487 I can be a little... 398 00:18:38,489 --> 00:18:39,888 selfish. 399 00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:42,791 I'm trying not to be that way anymore. 400 00:18:42,793 --> 00:18:44,293 I-I still have my blind spots, 401 00:18:44,295 --> 00:18:47,029 but hopefully this is a good start. 402 00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:48,931 Well, thanks so much for bringing me back Bucket. 403 00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:50,599 I-I really appreciate it. 404 00:18:50,601 --> 00:18:53,335 I'd shake your hand, but my limbs are all stiff. 405 00:18:53,337 --> 00:18:54,703 I'm still pretty cold. 406 00:18:54,705 --> 00:18:55,868 Really? 407 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,080 Huh. I'm quite warm. 408 00:18:59,710 --> 00:19:01,374 I have two coats on. 409 00:19:02,112 --> 00:19:03,445 Sort of hot, actually. 410 00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:07,316 Wait a second. 411 00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:15,513 I can just carry this one. 412 00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:18,627 Yes. 413 00:19:20,497 --> 00:19:21,463 See ya. 414 00:19:21,465 --> 00:19:22,731 Okay, bye! 415 00:19:27,468 --> 00:19:31,236 - Wow, shit week. - Yeah. But whatever. 416 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,572 At least I can just put it behind me now. 417 00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:35,107 Next question. 418 00:19:35,109 --> 00:19:38,243 This young psychopath recently attempted to swindle 419 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,411 all of Lower Murkford 420 00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:42,514 by claiming to be a medical doctor 421 00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:45,884 when she was, in fact, dumb. 422 00:19:45,886 --> 00:19:49,488 Yeah, that's me, Al Shitshoveler, right here. 423 00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:51,023 Correct! 424 00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:54,593 100 points to the horrible person sitting over there. 425 00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:56,428 I'm proud of you, Al. Cheers. 426 00:19:56,430 --> 00:19:58,196 - Cheers. - Cheers. 427 00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:02,534 Listen, I'm sorry for what I said before. 428 00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:05,604 You know, the b-word. 429 00:20:05,606 --> 00:20:07,806 That was really not cool of me. 430 00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:11,476 Anyway, friends again? 431 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:14,946 I mean, we were never really friends, Oracle. 432 00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:17,241 Please? 433 00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,084 Sure. 434 00:20:19,086 --> 00:20:20,285 Okay, Oracle. 435 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:22,020 - Cheers! - Cheers. 436 00:20:23,023 --> 00:20:25,157 Hey, whatever happened to the doctor? 437 00:20:26,042 --> 00:20:27,585 I don't know. 438 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,896 Fresh start. Skip town. 439 00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:33,633 Whole new look, whole new life. 440 00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:36,268 Hello, I am Andrew. 441 00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:37,769 I am an architect. 442 00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:40,138 Build a house for you? Why, of course. 443 00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:41,506 That is my job. 444 00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,010 Oh, that's good. 445 00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:54,720 Off to Italy, baby! 31177

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