All language subtitles for Mad.About.You.2019.S01E02 (S08E02).Restraining Orders and Puppies.TVRip.XviD-err0001

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:18,171 --> 00:00:20,873 Yeah, this is broken. 3 00:00:20,874 --> 00:00:22,942 Wow, what's all this? 4 00:00:22,943 --> 00:00:25,778 This, my darling, is paradise. 5 00:00:25,779 --> 00:00:27,746 Our first breakfast in Tahiti. 6 00:00:27,747 --> 00:00:30,583 No kid, no rush, just you and me 7 00:00:30,584 --> 00:00:32,891 and this champagne, ultimately, 8 00:00:32,892 --> 00:00:35,453 and... and... and the bagels that you went out to get 9 00:00:35,454 --> 00:00:37,713 - and seem to not have. - Oh, right, yes. 10 00:00:37,714 --> 00:00:39,223 You went out... you went out to get bagels 11 00:00:39,224 --> 00:00:40,348 and forgot to get bagels? 12 00:00:40,349 --> 00:00:41,669 I didn't forget. They were out. 13 00:00:43,462 --> 00:00:45,964 The whole city? 14 00:00:45,965 --> 00:00:47,699 I know. Do you know what happened? 15 00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:48,757 I don't. 16 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,183 What... what are you looking for now? 17 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,708 I think we have some frozen ones. 18 00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:53,401 Sweetie, sweetie, we've talked about this. 19 00:00:53,402 --> 00:00:55,460 If you talk into the freezer nobody can hear you, 20 00:00:55,461 --> 00:00:57,166 so you got to face me. Face me. 21 00:00:57,167 --> 00:00:59,524 I said I think we've got some frozen bagels in there. 22 00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:00,916 See, now, that I can hear. 23 00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:02,095 What happened to all the bagels? 24 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:03,280 We had all those bagels yesterday. 25 00:01:03,281 --> 00:01:05,956 - Lisa. - Oh... oh, great. 26 00:01:05,957 --> 00:01:07,894 How good do you think these bagels are gonna be 27 00:01:07,895 --> 00:01:09,786 if they're behind our wedding cake? 28 00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:13,547 - And what is this? - Breast milk. 29 00:01:13,548 --> 00:01:16,174 - Whose? - Go with your first guess. 30 00:01:16,175 --> 00:01:18,295 Wh... why do we still have it? 31 00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:20,397 You never know. 32 00:01:20,398 --> 00:01:22,500 - I think I do know. - Ha. 33 00:01:22,501 --> 00:01:23,934 Found them. 34 00:01:23,935 --> 00:01:25,302 Oh, and they sound delicious, too. 35 00:01:25,303 --> 00:01:26,428 Yeah. 36 00:01:26,429 --> 00:01:27,885 - Get toasting, my friend. - The... 37 00:01:29,097 --> 00:01:30,921 I mean, I don't even know if we can cut these. 38 00:01:30,922 --> 00:01:32,849 - They're so full of... - Sweetie, if you want me to hear it, 39 00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:34,970 we got to be in the same room, and you got to face me. 40 00:01:36,283 --> 00:01:37,707 Hey. 41 00:01:37,708 --> 00:01:39,499 I had a very interesting call 42 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,958 I thought I should discuss with you. 43 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:42,318 - From who? - Hey, Tonya. 44 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,551 - Hey. - Care for a bagel? 45 00:01:43,552 --> 00:01:46,189 - Sure. - Give me two to three weeks. 46 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,358 - A call from who? - Your daughter. 47 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,193 Is everything okay? What happened? 48 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,759 - Why isn't... - She's fine. 49 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,031 Mabel has asked me to act as her official emotional buffer 50 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,699 after you apparently dropped by 51 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,429 her dorm this morning unannounced. 52 00:01:58,430 --> 00:01:59,493 What? 53 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,180 - You went to her dorm this morning? - No. 54 00:02:02,181 --> 00:02:04,307 Okay, that's why you didn't get the bagels. 55 00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:05,399 Okay, that... you know what? 56 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,768 That makes so much more sense than the city was out. 57 00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,680 Mabel maintains that you not only dropped by, 58 00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:12,992 but you made quite a scene. 59 00:02:12,993 --> 00:02:14,650 I don't know what you're talking about. 60 00:02:14,651 --> 00:02:16,576 It was hardly a scene. 61 00:02:16,577 --> 00:02:18,787 I dropped off a little care package for her. 62 00:02:18,788 --> 00:02:19,940 I didn't even go in! 63 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,775 I barely went in! 64 00:02:24,026 --> 00:02:25,360 Uh-huh. 65 00:02:25,361 --> 00:02:26,788 So here's what's gonna happen. 66 00:02:26,789 --> 00:02:29,531 You are gonna back off and give your daughter a little space. 67 00:02:29,532 --> 00:02:31,056 She has all the space in the world. 68 00:02:31,057 --> 00:02:32,982 She's five blocks away. 69 00:02:32,983 --> 00:02:34,981 I have been instructed to write up 70 00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:37,807 a legally binding contract between you and your daughter. 71 00:02:37,808 --> 00:02:40,330 - A contract? - Which states as follows, 72 00:02:40,331 --> 00:02:43,656 "Mother and child shall have no contact for the next 48 hours, 73 00:02:43,657 --> 00:02:46,116 including but not limited to personal visits, 74 00:02:46,117 --> 00:02:48,142 phone calls, texts, emails, Instagrams, 75 00:02:48,143 --> 00:02:50,011 Instagram direct messages, Facebook, 76 00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:51,852 Facebook messages, Snapchat, 77 00:02:51,853 --> 00:02:53,319 TikTok, Periscope, 78 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,935 and any new media created between now and Wednesday". 79 00:02:57,526 --> 00:02:59,927 That's a big list. 80 00:02:59,928 --> 00:03:01,795 What about him? He's allowed to talk to her? 81 00:03:01,796 --> 00:03:03,998 He wasn't named as an offending party. 82 00:03:03,999 --> 00:03:07,000 So I just need you to sign here and initial here, 83 00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:08,001 here, and here. 84 00:03:08,002 --> 00:03:09,537 Seriously? 85 00:03:09,538 --> 00:03:11,272 Seriously. 86 00:03:11,273 --> 00:03:13,896 Fine, I'll sign your stupid thing. 87 00:03:13,897 --> 00:03:15,642 And it seems an appropriate at the moment 88 00:03:15,643 --> 00:03:18,669 to remind you that my support group meets tonight at 6:00. 89 00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:21,248 Yeah, still, no, same as the last time you mentioned it. 90 00:03:21,249 --> 00:03:22,637 What, uh... what group is this? 91 00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:25,036 I run a support group for empty nesters. 92 00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:27,621 Lots of parents struggle when their kids go off to school. 93 00:03:27,622 --> 00:03:29,743 Struggling is perfectly acceptable. 94 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:32,069 It's the breaking and entering that's frowned upon. 95 00:03:32,070 --> 00:03:33,446 I don't know. 96 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,454 It sounds like that could be helpful. Don't you think? 97 00:03:35,455 --> 00:03:37,794 No, I don't think, because I'm fine. 98 00:03:37,795 --> 00:03:39,789 I understand boundaries. 99 00:03:40,902 --> 00:03:42,602 Besides, I can't do it tonight anyway. 100 00:03:42,603 --> 00:03:44,138 I've got to drop off a sweater 101 00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:45,730 and a new smoke alarm for Mabel's room. 102 00:03:45,731 --> 00:03:47,291 I don't trust the ones they have there. 103 00:03:49,117 --> 00:03:51,275 Fine, 6:00. Don't worry about it. 104 00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:30,859 What do I love about the ultra-discreet 105 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:33,397 Flo-Now 1000 men's pocket catheter? 106 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,653 It's always here when I need to go. 107 00:04:36,666 --> 00:04:38,900 You like that one better? 108 00:04:38,901 --> 00:04:40,902 It's hard to say. 109 00:04:40,903 --> 00:04:42,771 For some reason, it's... it's not... 110 00:04:42,772 --> 00:04:44,606 I don't know. 111 00:04:44,607 --> 00:04:47,108 The way he's saying it doesn't sound fun. 112 00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:50,679 Okay, well, in all fairness... 113 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,147 and no disrespect, you know, 114 00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:54,149 to your firm or the catheter industry, 115 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:57,079 but he's talking about shoving a plastic tube 116 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,586 up his shmelzin, you know? 117 00:04:58,587 --> 00:05:01,756 So it's kind of hard to sell the fun there. 118 00:05:01,757 --> 00:05:03,791 Yeah. I don't know. 119 00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:06,694 You guys work on that. I'm gonna take a leak. 120 00:05:06,695 --> 00:05:08,989 With the Flo-Now 1000 pocket catheter, 121 00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,532 you wouldn't even have to walk away. 122 00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:12,367 You could just piss yourself right in the chair. 123 00:05:12,368 --> 00:05:13,459 Okay. 124 00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:14,969 Hey, this might be the greatest 125 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,471 catheter commercial ever made. 126 00:05:16,472 --> 00:05:19,674 That's very kind of you to say, Yasmeen. 127 00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:22,510 Do you know, when I was your age, 128 00:05:22,511 --> 00:05:24,679 I was number five on the list 129 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,990 of "Top 20 Young Film Makers to Keep an Eye On". 130 00:05:29,451 --> 00:05:31,615 And look at me now. 131 00:05:31,616 --> 00:05:33,655 "I'm wearing a cardboard belt". 132 00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:39,226 From the movie, "The Producers". 133 00:05:39,227 --> 00:05:41,328 You've never seen "The Producers"? 134 00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:42,862 Is there a catheter in it? 135 00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,567 Man, you're very popular today. 136 00:05:46,568 --> 00:05:48,635 I am. It's my daughter. 137 00:05:48,636 --> 00:05:50,404 Usually she texts my wife all day, 138 00:05:50,405 --> 00:05:51,805 but they're not talking to each other. 139 00:05:51,806 --> 00:05:53,240 In fact, my wife had to sign a whole... 140 00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:55,309 You don't care. It's nice. 141 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,244 It's kind of nice, actually, to be needed and... 142 00:05:57,245 --> 00:05:58,978 Oh, boy. 143 00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:00,581 These are all emojis. 144 00:06:00,582 --> 00:06:02,148 What is... what is that? A spider? 145 00:06:02,149 --> 00:06:03,780 Okay, words. 146 00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:06,809 "So gross. My roommate won't stop leaving her"... 147 00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:09,192 - Okay, you do it. - You can't say "vibrator"? 148 00:06:09,193 --> 00:06:10,647 Yeah, I'd rather not. 149 00:06:10,648 --> 00:06:12,034 "My roommate won't stop leaving her"... 150 00:06:12,035 --> 00:06:13,188 - "Vibrator"... - "Around. 151 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:15,158 What should I do? It's skeeving me out". 152 00:06:15,159 --> 00:06:16,429 Okay. 153 00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:18,096 She asks a very good question. 154 00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:20,894 "Maybe ask Mom". 155 00:06:20,895 --> 00:06:23,236 Ooh, she's not talking to her mom, remember? 156 00:06:24,938 --> 00:06:26,839 "Not talking to Mom, remember?" 157 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,841 You know what? The two of you should get together. 158 00:06:28,842 --> 00:06:30,276 God, she's fast. 159 00:06:30,277 --> 00:06:31,910 Give me a second! 160 00:06:31,911 --> 00:06:33,211 She should just talk to her. 161 00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:37,216 "Just talk to her"... 162 00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:39,584 uh, I get... all right... 163 00:06:39,585 --> 00:06:44,256 "about respecting shared space". 164 00:06:45,358 --> 00:06:46,625 Hmm? 165 00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:51,196 "Okay". Four heart emojis. 166 00:06:51,197 --> 00:06:53,094 "Love you, Daddy-o", exclamation point, 167 00:06:53,095 --> 00:06:54,233 kissy emoji. 168 00:06:54,234 --> 00:06:57,569 How about that, huh? Come on. 169 00:06:57,570 --> 00:07:00,906 Daddy started out a little shaky, but look at me now. 170 00:07:00,907 --> 00:07:03,941 You're wearing a cardboard belt! 171 00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:10,715 - Hey. - Hello. 172 00:07:10,716 --> 00:07:12,082 What are you up to there? 173 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,850 Throwing out pictures of Mabel. 174 00:07:16,354 --> 00:07:18,389 Hmm, throwing out? 175 00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,857 Or not really throwing out, 176 00:07:19,858 --> 00:07:23,060 so much as making a commemorative collage? 177 00:07:23,061 --> 00:07:24,962 Is there a contract that says I can't look 178 00:07:24,963 --> 00:07:26,163 at pictures of her now? 179 00:07:26,164 --> 00:07:27,832 No, no, that's perfectly fine. 180 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,851 - Who's that? - Nobody. 181 00:07:30,852 --> 00:07:33,463 What, is she texting you all day now? 182 00:07:33,464 --> 00:07:35,339 No. 183 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:37,442 Here and there, I'll get a text. 184 00:07:37,443 --> 00:07:39,043 What is she texting you about? 185 00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:40,454 - Nothing. - About me? 186 00:07:40,455 --> 00:07:41,712 No. 187 00:07:41,713 --> 00:07:44,158 - Do you even know what to say to her? - What? 188 00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,727 I bet you don't even know what to say to her. 189 00:07:45,728 --> 00:07:47,986 Hey, I think I know how to talk to my own daughter. 190 00:07:47,987 --> 00:07:49,619 Well, don't come crying to me when the whole thing 191 00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:50,955 turns to hell because she needs her mother. 192 00:07:50,956 --> 00:07:52,046 I'm not crying. You know what? 193 00:07:52,047 --> 00:07:53,683 Go back to your little hobby with the glue and the pic... 194 00:07:53,684 --> 00:07:55,592 - Look, Murray, huh? - Oh, Murray. 195 00:07:55,593 --> 00:07:58,262 - Yeah, Murray was a good dog. - I miss Murray. 196 00:07:58,263 --> 00:07:59,930 Is that her? 197 00:07:59,931 --> 00:08:01,798 - Uh, nope. - Liar. 198 00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:04,101 - What if it is? - Let me see it. 199 00:08:04,102 --> 00:08:05,650 No. Hey, aren't you supposed to be going 200 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,804 to Tonya's maladjusted-parents thing? 201 00:08:07,805 --> 00:08:10,118 I don't need it. 202 00:08:10,119 --> 00:08:11,165 That's her. 203 00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:12,261 - No, it's not. - I know it is. 204 00:08:12,262 --> 00:08:13,687 - No, you... no, no! - Just let me look at one text! 205 00:08:13,688 --> 00:08:15,545 I'll never bother you again your whole life. 206 00:08:15,546 --> 00:08:17,214 Oh, fine. 207 00:08:17,215 --> 00:08:18,915 It's Yasmeen. 208 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,417 "I found a happier take of the catheter guy". 209 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,651 Yay! 210 00:08:28,493 --> 00:08:30,727 The other day I call my daughter. 211 00:08:30,728 --> 00:08:32,852 Took her six hours to call me back. 212 00:08:33,902 --> 00:08:35,290 Know what I said to her when I picked up? 213 00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,333 - What? - Nothing. 214 00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,798 Because I didn't pick up. 215 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:40,090 - Hey. - Good for you. 216 00:08:40,091 --> 00:08:41,437 Good for you, Todd. 217 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,863 You want to play games, sweetheart? 218 00:08:42,864 --> 00:08:44,057 Well, Daddy can play, too. 219 00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:45,475 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 220 00:08:45,476 --> 00:08:48,311 Well, my son's at Duke, but, you know, 221 00:08:48,312 --> 00:08:51,452 I have not hacked into his web cam to check in on him 222 00:08:51,453 --> 00:08:52,781 for two whole weeks. 223 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,584 One day at a time, baby. 224 00:08:55,585 --> 00:08:58,186 So when does the meeting actually start? 225 00:08:58,187 --> 00:09:00,088 Is there, like, a private room or something? 226 00:09:00,089 --> 00:09:02,000 The meeting's already started, Jamie. 227 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,458 This is it. 228 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,027 This is just drinking. 229 00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,129 The drinking is the meeting. 230 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,044 When it comes to the pain of empty nest... 231 00:09:09,045 --> 00:09:11,133 Nothing helps. 232 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,135 You have not touched your drink, Jamie. 233 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,126 Oh, I'm good. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a lightweight. 234 00:09:15,127 --> 00:09:16,402 Oh. 235 00:09:16,403 --> 00:09:18,971 If you want to be in the group, you're gonna have to drink. 236 00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:21,276 You don't have to drink, Jamie. 237 00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:23,278 The important thing is that you're here with people 238 00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:25,227 who know exactly what you're going through. 239 00:09:25,228 --> 00:09:26,548 You know, honest to God, 240 00:09:26,549 --> 00:09:28,449 this group is the only thing that's kept me sane 241 00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,518 since my Piper left for Villanova. 242 00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:33,214 I think the first week's got to be tough for everybody. 243 00:09:33,215 --> 00:09:34,556 First week? 244 00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:36,858 Piper just started grad school. 245 00:09:36,859 --> 00:09:39,027 Do you know what? Enough about us. 246 00:09:39,028 --> 00:09:41,640 Jamie, who left your nest all sad and empty? 247 00:09:41,641 --> 00:09:43,099 Well, I have a daughter, Mabel. 248 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:44,465 She's a freshman, 249 00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:47,667 and, yeah, having her so far away, 250 00:09:47,668 --> 00:09:48,846 it feels like I'm missing a limb. 251 00:09:48,847 --> 00:09:49,944 Mm. 252 00:09:49,945 --> 00:09:52,506 Long distance is a killer. Where does she go? 253 00:09:52,507 --> 00:09:54,676 Hawaii. 254 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,510 University of Haleakala. 255 00:09:56,511 --> 00:09:58,012 - Oh, my God, drink. - That is so far! 256 00:09:58,013 --> 00:09:59,914 Hawaii? 257 00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,515 That's interesting because I thought... 258 00:10:01,516 --> 00:10:04,184 Hey, cheers, everybody. 259 00:10:07,155 --> 00:10:09,590 Okay, I'm here. 260 00:10:09,591 --> 00:10:11,092 What was so important? 261 00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:14,361 Voilà. DNA testing kits, Paulie. 262 00:10:14,362 --> 00:10:15,929 One for you, one for me. 263 00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,698 Please tell me this is not 264 00:10:17,699 --> 00:10:19,907 'cause of that one stupid food critic. 265 00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:22,022 I'll show him. He has the testicoli... 266 00:10:22,023 --> 00:10:24,605 the nerve to say that I am not Italian. 267 00:10:24,606 --> 00:10:29,543 Yeah, but only 'cause you're not. 268 00:10:29,544 --> 00:10:32,012 What are you talking about? My whole life I've known. 269 00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:34,447 Even when I was a kid, I-I always felt, 270 00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:36,278 - you know, different. - Italian. 271 00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:37,584 - Yes. - Yes. 272 00:10:37,585 --> 00:10:40,453 Yes, I always identified as Italian, 273 00:10:40,454 --> 00:10:43,189 and people look at me as Italian. 274 00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:45,291 I'll never forget the day I broke it to my parents 275 00:10:45,292 --> 00:10:47,217 - that I was Italian. - Really? 276 00:10:47,218 --> 00:10:48,964 - How... how did they take it? - They were surprised. 277 00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:51,264 Yeah, yeah. And you know why? 278 00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:53,233 Because you're not Italian. 279 00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:55,068 Okay, okay, smart guy. 280 00:10:55,069 --> 00:10:56,777 How do you... how do you explain two years ago 281 00:10:56,778 --> 00:10:58,012 when I went to Italy? 282 00:10:58,013 --> 00:10:59,747 The second I got off the plane, 283 00:10:59,748 --> 00:11:01,649 the first breath of air, I knew. 284 00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:04,085 And then meeting Lucia... 285 00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:10,924 - What did... what'd she say? - It's a private joke. 286 00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,594 Okay, are you ready to spit with me? 287 00:11:14,595 --> 00:11:16,196 Hey. 288 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,689 Oh, Dad, I'm glad you're here. 289 00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:19,366 How did you... how'd you know I would be here? 290 00:11:19,367 --> 00:11:20,934 I didn't. I'm picking up food. 291 00:11:20,935 --> 00:11:23,795 - Hey, I - I give her food sometimes. 292 00:11:23,796 --> 00:11:25,662 I'm really glad you're here. I got to talk to you. 293 00:11:25,663 --> 00:11:26,698 Everything okay? 294 00:11:26,699 --> 00:11:27,832 How'd things work out with your roommate? 295 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,309 Oh, great, yeah. Your advice was great. 296 00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:30,710 My advice was great, okay. 297 00:11:30,711 --> 00:11:32,279 But I've got a bigger problem now. 298 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,513 - You ready for this? - Uh-huh. 299 00:11:33,514 --> 00:11:36,350 She sleeps with her eyes open. 300 00:11:36,351 --> 00:11:39,243 - Who? - My roommate. 301 00:11:39,244 --> 00:11:41,889 - You... you sure she's asleep? - Yeah, yeah, totally. 302 00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:44,524 She is sound asleep but her eyes never close. It's like... 303 00:11:44,525 --> 00:11:46,893 - All night! - Hmm. 304 00:11:46,894 --> 00:11:48,795 - So I need your advice. - Oh. 305 00:11:48,796 --> 00:11:50,397 - Advise me. - Yes, okay. 306 00:11:50,398 --> 00:11:53,065 Um... 307 00:11:53,066 --> 00:11:54,901 Uh, uh, maybe talk to her. 308 00:11:54,902 --> 00:11:56,980 I can't. 309 00:11:56,981 --> 00:11:59,279 She's still mad at me for talking about her vibrator. 310 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,198 Okay, you know what? I don't even like it when you say it. 311 00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:02,876 Don't... don't... don't say it. 312 00:12:02,877 --> 00:12:04,768 Uh, all right, well, you know what? 313 00:12:04,769 --> 00:12:06,951 Cover your eyes. Just put... get a little sleep mask, 314 00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:09,634 - one of those things. - No. I can't sleep with anything on my face. 315 00:12:09,635 --> 00:12:11,259 I feel like I'm buried alive. 316 00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:13,385 I... you know, I don't know. 317 00:12:13,386 --> 00:12:14,987 Maybe take a pillow, put it over her face, 318 00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:17,089 and then, you know... You know? 319 00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:19,078 - That would probably do it. - Here you go. 320 00:12:19,079 --> 00:12:20,692 This should hold you for a couple of days. 321 00:12:20,693 --> 00:12:22,939 Thank you. Great. I got to get to class. Bye. 322 00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:25,531 Ciao, Lucia. 323 00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:30,060 - What was that? - It's a private joke. 324 00:12:30,061 --> 00:12:32,683 All right, let's get to this. 325 00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:34,006 So what do we do? We... we just... 326 00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:35,721 - You spit into the tubes? - Yeah, yeah. 327 00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,992 - We just spit into the tube. - Hey, Ira. 328 00:12:37,993 --> 00:12:39,335 Craig, listen... 329 00:12:39,336 --> 00:12:41,738 uh, you mind bringing this around to the back? 330 00:12:41,739 --> 00:12:44,074 Uh, sorry. I'm double-parked out there. 331 00:12:44,075 --> 00:12:47,644 I got three more stops that I... You got it. 332 00:12:47,645 --> 00:12:49,512 - Very impressive. - Yeah. 333 00:12:49,513 --> 00:12:51,468 I got that down to an art. Believe it, Paulie. 334 00:12:51,469 --> 00:12:53,751 A crisp 20, flick of the wrist, works every time. 335 00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:55,004 It's a thing of beauty, how you did that. 336 00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,465 - Just a little. - Yeah. All right, let's do this. 337 00:12:56,466 --> 00:12:58,282 So what is it? So you spit into the tubes... 338 00:12:58,283 --> 00:12:59,822 Yeah. Oh, wait. 339 00:12:59,823 --> 00:13:01,456 - Prosciutto. - What? 340 00:13:01,457 --> 00:13:03,615 Here. Rub some of this on your gums. 341 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,250 It'll increase the Italian-ness. 342 00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:13,635 May... maybe you don't understand this. 343 00:13:13,636 --> 00:13:16,105 They test what's in your genes, not in your teeth. 344 00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:18,207 - Well, it can't hurt. - No. 345 00:13:18,208 --> 00:13:21,711 I'm not gonna rub meat on my gum... 346 00:13:21,712 --> 00:13:23,111 Hey. 347 00:13:25,047 --> 00:13:26,380 Get it, girl! Come on! 348 00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:28,316 Get it! That's it! 349 00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:29,818 Ahh. 350 00:13:29,819 --> 00:13:32,620 Here's to 18 years of being screamed at 351 00:13:32,621 --> 00:13:34,729 - and puked on. - And peed on! 352 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,394 Ah, and here's to cutting her grapes in half 353 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:42,206 and then peeling them because she said 354 00:13:42,207 --> 00:13:44,365 the skin made her teeth feel itchy! 355 00:13:49,471 --> 00:13:51,572 Ahh. 356 00:13:51,573 --> 00:13:54,007 And here's to me for being brave enough 357 00:13:54,008 --> 00:13:56,043 to break into her freakin' dorm this morning. 358 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,911 Wait, I thought you said... 359 00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:59,880 Here's to making such great time coming all 360 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,341 - the way back from Hawaii. - Cheers. 361 00:14:50,761 --> 00:14:51,895 What the... 362 00:15:13,963 --> 00:15:16,330 - Honey? - Mm? 363 00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:19,033 - Swee... sweetie? - Mm. 364 00:15:19,034 --> 00:15:21,268 - Do me a favor. - Mm. 365 00:15:21,269 --> 00:15:22,469 Feel your head. 366 00:15:35,217 --> 00:15:37,318 Puppy. 367 00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:39,387 Yes. 368 00:15:39,388 --> 00:15:41,823 There was a puppy on my head. 369 00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:43,357 Yes. 370 00:15:43,358 --> 00:15:45,158 - From where? - Exactly. 371 00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:50,731 Did you get me a puppy? 372 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:53,734 I did not. 373 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,803 - Did you get me a puppy? - I don't think so, no. 374 00:15:58,507 --> 00:16:00,241 Oh, wait. 375 00:16:00,242 --> 00:16:02,076 Okay. 376 00:16:02,077 --> 00:16:04,811 When I was on my way home last night, 377 00:16:04,812 --> 00:16:09,417 I found this sweet little baby wandering the streets alone 378 00:16:09,418 --> 00:16:12,518 without a collar or anything, and I rescued her. 379 00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:16,390 I rescued him. 380 00:16:18,392 --> 00:16:22,529 Did Mommy rescue you, you cute little baby boy? 381 00:16:22,530 --> 00:16:24,765 Okay, nobody get up. 382 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:27,367 Daddy will get the door, 383 00:16:27,368 --> 00:16:30,604 'cause apparently Mommy had a few cocktails last night, 384 00:16:30,605 --> 00:16:33,773 and now Mommy don't feel so good, huh? 385 00:16:35,242 --> 00:16:36,877 - Hello, Buchmans. - Hey. 386 00:16:36,878 --> 00:16:38,344 - One Buchman. - Yeah. 387 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:39,580 - What's up, Mr. Wicker? - Oh. 388 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,782 The Berkowitzes down in 4D, 389 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:44,141 they're looking for their dog, Puddin', 390 00:16:44,142 --> 00:16:46,453 so I'm going door to door to see if somebody found him. 391 00:16:46,454 --> 00:16:47,955 - Hi, Mr. Wicker. - Hmm. 392 00:16:47,956 --> 00:16:49,756 The Berkowitzes' dog is missing. 393 00:16:49,757 --> 00:16:51,490 Been missing since last night. 394 00:16:55,161 --> 00:16:56,896 - We'll keep our eyes open. - Okay, sweetie. 395 00:16:56,897 --> 00:16:58,064 - No. - Sweetie. 396 00:16:58,065 --> 00:17:00,365 Fine. Here. 397 00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:01,707 Oh, see? 398 00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:03,469 - I knew that was him. - Yeah. 399 00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,437 Oh, wow. 400 00:17:05,438 --> 00:17:06,663 Thanks. 401 00:17:06,664 --> 00:17:09,942 You made some very happy Berkowitzes. 402 00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:12,745 Sweetie, so, when you say... when you say you found him 403 00:17:12,746 --> 00:17:14,480 - in the street... - Street, hallway... 404 00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:16,716 What's the difference? He's gone. 405 00:17:16,717 --> 00:17:18,618 They tell you to cherish every moment, 406 00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:20,319 - but you never do. - What are you t... 407 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,200 - We had the dog 40 seconds. - You don't get it. 408 00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:26,557 That's Mabel. She's come to her senses. 409 00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:28,827 She knows a stupid contract isn't the way... 410 00:17:28,828 --> 00:17:30,895 - Is this face-recognizing? - Yeah. 411 00:17:30,896 --> 00:17:32,616 All right, here. Well, show it your face. 412 00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:35,133 - What did you do? - I... 413 00:17:35,134 --> 00:17:36,134 - Look normal. - I... 414 00:17:38,403 --> 00:17:39,625 - See? - Bingo. 415 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:40,639 Okay. 416 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,774 - Good Lord. - Now what? 417 00:17:42,775 --> 00:17:46,511 "Daddy, I need you. Will you come help me?" 418 00:17:46,512 --> 00:17:49,014 I remember being needed like that. 419 00:17:49,015 --> 00:17:50,215 Who am I kidding? No, I don't. 420 00:17:52,952 --> 00:17:54,518 - I love you. - Whatever. 421 00:17:57,623 --> 00:17:59,790 You told me to do it. 422 00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:01,586 I told you to smother your roommate? 423 00:18:01,587 --> 00:18:02,951 Yes. Yes, yes, you did. 424 00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:05,511 You said, "Hey, why don't you take a pillow and just..." 425 00:18:05,512 --> 00:18:09,005 Yeah, as a joke. I said it as a joke. 426 00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:11,898 Okay, well, no one's laughing because she ratted me out. 427 00:18:11,899 --> 00:18:14,091 She called the dean and said that I attacked her. 428 00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:16,951 Which, you know, technically not untrue. 429 00:18:16,952 --> 00:18:18,309 All right, so what do you want? 430 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:19,877 Do you want me to go talk to the dean? 431 00:18:19,878 --> 00:18:21,471 No, no. You can't talk to anyone. 432 00:18:21,472 --> 00:18:23,213 Okay, well, then how would you like me to help you? 433 00:18:23,214 --> 00:18:24,715 I don't know, but I'm pretty sure Mom 434 00:18:24,716 --> 00:18:26,650 would have figured something out by now. 435 00:18:26,651 --> 00:18:28,986 Well, now you're just being hurtful. 436 00:18:28,987 --> 00:18:31,102 I... you know, I hate to tell you, honey. 437 00:18:31,103 --> 00:18:32,449 I ain't your mom. I got... 438 00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:34,324 I... you know... I got nothing. 439 00:18:34,325 --> 00:18:35,958 Well, think, okay? 440 00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:37,860 Because if they kick me out of the dorms, 441 00:18:37,861 --> 00:18:39,447 I'll have to move back home with you and Mom. 442 00:18:39,448 --> 00:18:42,965 Yeah, no. 443 00:18:42,966 --> 00:18:45,902 Dean Calhoun, she's really... she's a good kid, 444 00:18:45,903 --> 00:18:47,337 - my daughter. - Mr. Buchman... 445 00:18:47,338 --> 00:18:49,239 Yeah, she can be a little lippy at times. 446 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,409 I'm not gonna lie about that, but the... the physical violence, 447 00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:54,043 that's... that's out of the ordinary. 448 00:18:54,044 --> 00:18:55,978 Mr. Buchman, this is a student issue, 449 00:18:55,979 --> 00:18:58,014 not a parent issue. 450 00:18:58,015 --> 00:18:59,516 Your daughter will have an opportunity 451 00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:01,551 to explain herself in front of myself 452 00:19:01,552 --> 00:19:03,587 and a tribunal of her peers, 453 00:19:03,588 --> 00:19:05,312 just like every other NYU student 454 00:19:05,313 --> 00:19:07,591 who tries to suffocate their roommate in their sleep. 455 00:19:07,592 --> 00:19:09,525 - Okay, well, fair enough. - Mm. 456 00:19:09,526 --> 00:19:10,926 Um, but, see, here's the thing. 457 00:19:10,927 --> 00:19:12,661 Here's the thing. I, uh... 458 00:19:12,662 --> 00:19:14,432 I can't let her come back and live with us. 459 00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:15,831 That's not gonna work now. Can't... can't do it. 460 00:19:15,832 --> 00:19:16,865 - Can't. - I'm sorry, Mr. Buchman. 461 00:19:16,866 --> 00:19:19,535 I... Dean Calhoun, uh, 462 00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:23,572 what do you say you, me, and a nice crisp 20, 463 00:19:23,573 --> 00:19:24,939 and you let this thing slide? 464 00:19:27,744 --> 00:19:30,879 You do realize I'm a dean? 465 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,948 - I'm sorry. - Uh-huh. 466 00:19:32,949 --> 00:19:35,618 What would that be, 40? 467 00:19:35,619 --> 00:19:36,619 Wow. 468 00:19:38,796 --> 00:19:40,831 Sweetie? 469 00:19:40,832 --> 00:19:43,166 Well, look who cleans up so pretty and nice. 470 00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,423 Yeah, yeah. What do you want? 471 00:19:44,424 --> 00:19:45,969 - Close your eyes. - Whatever it is... 472 00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:47,303 - Close your eyes. - Just tell me. 473 00:19:47,304 --> 00:19:48,904 - I'm just not in the mood... - Ta-da! 474 00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:55,178 Oh, my God! 475 00:19:55,179 --> 00:19:56,679 Right? 476 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,648 No. No, not another dog. 477 00:19:59,649 --> 00:20:01,817 I'm still getting over the... Look at the face! 478 00:20:01,818 --> 00:20:03,019 Oh, my God. Come here. 479 00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,436 Give me, give me, give me! 480 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,718 And this one's all yours, all in the clear. 481 00:20:06,719 --> 00:20:09,120 Got it from a great rescue place Uptown. 482 00:20:09,121 --> 00:20:11,689 Very nice lady named Patty helped me with it. 483 00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:13,384 Smelled a bit German Shepherd-ish 484 00:20:13,385 --> 00:20:14,525 but very nice. 485 00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:17,145 Oh, sweetie, thank you so much. 486 00:20:17,146 --> 00:20:18,829 I love... her. 487 00:20:18,830 --> 00:20:20,864 I really, really do. 488 00:20:20,865 --> 00:20:23,039 Yeah, and I love you, too. 489 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,068 Mmm. 490 00:20:25,069 --> 00:20:26,837 - Can I ask you a question? - Anything. 491 00:20:26,838 --> 00:20:28,159 It's about Mabel. 492 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,404 Yeah, you're on your own, hotshot. 493 00:20:29,405 --> 00:20:30,674 Oh, come on. 494 00:20:30,675 --> 00:20:32,296 I-I need your help on this one. 495 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,177 - I wish I could. - Okay. 496 00:20:34,178 --> 00:20:37,294 - Can I lay out a hypothetical? - Hypothetical! 497 00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:38,629 Daddy said a big word. 498 00:20:40,518 --> 00:20:42,152 No kidding, I need you... I need you 499 00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:43,987 to step in on this one. This is... 500 00:20:43,988 --> 00:20:47,157 Your daughter is exhausting. Tell me about it. 501 00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,992 Seriously, if it's like this for you every day, 502 00:20:48,993 --> 00:20:50,826 - I don't know how you do it. - No, I'm saying tell me about it. 503 00:20:50,827 --> 00:20:52,027 What's the problem? 504 00:20:52,028 --> 00:20:54,096 Oh, oh, tell m... okay. 505 00:20:54,097 --> 00:20:56,666 So, all right, short version... 506 00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:58,371 she tried to suffocate her roommate. 507 00:20:58,372 --> 00:21:00,169 What? 508 00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:01,972 Totally misunderstood my instructions. 509 00:21:01,973 --> 00:21:03,439 That's not what I said. 510 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,076 Anyway, the point is, now she has to make an apology 511 00:21:07,077 --> 00:21:08,944 - in front of the dean. - She is not good at apologies. 512 00:21:08,945 --> 00:21:10,846 I know, so I tried to talk to the dean... 513 00:21:10,847 --> 00:21:12,648 - I wouldn't have done that. - Yeah, now I know that. 514 00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:14,284 That didn't go well. 515 00:21:14,285 --> 00:21:17,754 On the bright side, I did save 40 bucks, so... 516 00:21:17,755 --> 00:21:19,286 So, come on, help me out. 517 00:21:19,287 --> 00:21:20,956 What... what do I tell her? 518 00:21:20,957 --> 00:21:23,192 I was forced to sign a legally binding contract 519 00:21:23,193 --> 00:21:25,226 against my will, so I can't help you. 520 00:21:25,227 --> 00:21:27,128 Yeah, but... but I need you. 521 00:21:27,129 --> 00:21:28,862 Yeah, that's called a predicament. 522 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,854 Come on, I-I just... I gave you a dog. 523 00:21:35,107 --> 00:21:36,831 All right, get your phone. 524 00:21:36,832 --> 00:21:38,157 Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you. 525 00:21:38,158 --> 00:21:39,608 I'll never forget this. Thank you. 526 00:21:39,609 --> 00:21:41,242 - Type. - Okay, talk. 527 00:21:41,243 --> 00:21:43,378 "First and foremost, 528 00:21:43,379 --> 00:21:46,815 I take total responsibility for my regrettable actions. 529 00:21:46,816 --> 00:21:48,347 - What happened last night"... - Okay, hang on. 530 00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:50,251 Why is everybody so fast? 531 00:21:50,252 --> 00:21:51,953 "First and foremost, 532 00:21:51,954 --> 00:21:53,956 I would like to take total responsibility 533 00:21:53,957 --> 00:21:55,590 for my regrettable actions. 534 00:21:55,591 --> 00:21:57,391 What happened last night was my fault 535 00:21:57,392 --> 00:21:59,092 and my fault alone. 536 00:21:59,093 --> 00:22:03,664 I will work to learn and employ better"... 537 00:22:03,665 --> 00:22:05,333 Yeah, can I just say, 538 00:22:05,334 --> 00:22:08,135 it seems unfair in a world where women 539 00:22:08,136 --> 00:22:11,171 have been socialized to apologize almost compulsively 540 00:22:11,172 --> 00:22:13,273 for... for me to be called to the carpet 541 00:22:13,274 --> 00:22:15,946 by "the man" for something that happened in the... 542 00:22:15,947 --> 00:22:17,511 in the privacy of my dorm... 543 00:22:17,512 --> 00:22:19,747 Miss Buchman, why don't you save us all some time 544 00:22:19,748 --> 00:22:22,832 and stick to the statement that... having met your father... 545 00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:24,599 I assume your mother wrote? 546 00:22:26,321 --> 00:22:28,656 Okay, fine. 547 00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:31,291 Oh, you're perfect in every single way, aren't you? 548 00:22:31,292 --> 00:22:33,361 Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 549 00:22:33,362 --> 00:22:36,129 Oh, you two are just in love, aren't you? 550 00:22:36,130 --> 00:22:37,831 What is that? 551 00:22:37,832 --> 00:22:38,966 It's the breast milk. 552 00:22:38,967 --> 00:22:40,800 I'm defrosting it for her. 553 00:22:40,801 --> 00:22:43,170 Aren't you glad I saved it? 554 00:22:43,171 --> 00:22:44,604 Well, see if she wants to wash it down 555 00:22:44,605 --> 00:22:46,172 with some 25-year-old wedding cake. 556 00:22:49,677 --> 00:22:51,227 Is the place getting bigger? 557 00:22:51,228 --> 00:22:53,095 20 years ago I would have been there already. 558 00:22:55,884 --> 00:22:57,284 - Mr. Buchman. - Hi. 559 00:22:57,285 --> 00:22:58,852 - Hello. - Hi. 560 00:22:58,853 --> 00:23:00,553 I don't know if you remember me. 561 00:23:00,554 --> 00:23:02,851 Yeah, of course, from the... the doggy rescue place. 562 00:23:02,852 --> 00:23:04,024 - Nice lady... Patty. - Yes. 563 00:23:04,025 --> 00:23:05,057 - Yes. - Yes, I... 564 00:23:05,058 --> 00:23:07,562 No! Quiet! 565 00:23:07,563 --> 00:23:08,995 Uh, I'm a little confused. 566 00:23:08,996 --> 00:23:11,230 I thought the home inspection wasn't until Friday. 567 00:23:11,231 --> 00:23:12,732 No, this isn't about that. 568 00:23:12,733 --> 00:23:15,301 No! Quiet. 569 00:23:15,302 --> 00:23:17,036 I mean it. 570 00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:18,838 Sorry. 571 00:23:18,839 --> 00:23:20,869 This is awkward, but I'm afraid I need to take back 572 00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:22,241 the dog I gave you. 573 00:23:22,242 --> 00:23:23,810 What? No, no, no, no, you can't... 574 00:23:23,811 --> 00:23:25,255 No, no, you can't. 575 00:23:25,256 --> 00:23:28,214 No, my wife is in there breastfeeding the dog as we speak. 576 00:23:28,215 --> 00:23:30,683 The young woman who gave the dog up for adoption, 577 00:23:30,684 --> 00:23:32,519 she's had a change of heart. 578 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,487 Oh, yeah, but, Patty, Patty, no, you can't do that. 579 00:23:34,488 --> 00:23:36,222 My wife and the dog, now they're very connected. 580 00:23:36,223 --> 00:23:37,390 - You can't do that. - Please. 581 00:23:37,391 --> 00:23:39,658 Hey, it's okay. I understand. 582 00:23:39,659 --> 00:23:41,326 It wasn't meant to be. 583 00:23:41,327 --> 00:23:45,330 I guess my mothering days are over. 584 00:23:45,331 --> 00:23:46,664 Good-bye, baby. 585 00:23:51,671 --> 00:23:54,406 I did bring another dog I thought you might like. 586 00:23:54,407 --> 00:23:56,688 No. No more dogs. 587 00:23:56,689 --> 00:23:57,776 It's too painful. 588 00:23:57,777 --> 00:24:00,512 How about this one? 589 00:24:00,513 --> 00:24:02,848 She's a beauty. 590 00:24:02,849 --> 00:24:05,216 There is no beauty. Thanks, anyway. 591 00:24:05,217 --> 00:24:08,086 What about this guy? 592 00:24:08,087 --> 00:24:10,121 Huh? 593 00:24:10,122 --> 00:24:12,557 No, thank you, really. It's okay. 594 00:24:12,558 --> 00:24:15,059 What about that guy? 595 00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:16,806 Oh, no. You don't want that dog. 596 00:24:16,807 --> 00:24:18,295 Why not? Hey. Hey, buddy. 597 00:24:18,296 --> 00:24:21,437 Mr. Buchman, this is not the dog for you. 598 00:24:21,438 --> 00:24:22,700 Believe me. 599 00:24:22,701 --> 00:24:25,736 He has sleep issues, anxiety issues, 600 00:24:25,737 --> 00:24:28,038 digestion problems, chronic ear infections. 601 00:24:28,039 --> 00:24:30,950 His ears need to be constantly cleaned and medicated. 602 00:24:30,951 --> 00:24:33,744 He's been sent back more times than I care to recall. 603 00:24:33,745 --> 00:24:36,313 He just doesn't take to people. 604 00:24:36,314 --> 00:24:38,581 Some dogs, they just don't socialize. 605 00:24:48,829 --> 00:24:49,961 We'll take him. 606 00:24:58,659 --> 00:25:02,103 Sign here and here and initial here, 607 00:25:02,104 --> 00:25:05,509 and read out loud the last line of the agreement. 608 00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:06,909 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 609 00:25:09,446 --> 00:25:11,681 "And so I, Mabel Buchman, 610 00:25:11,682 --> 00:25:14,117 faced with the result of this horrendous experiment, 611 00:25:14,118 --> 00:25:16,986 do solemnly promise never again to demand distance 612 00:25:16,987 --> 00:25:22,225 of any kind between myself and my wonderful, loving mother". 613 00:25:22,226 --> 00:25:23,960 Great, I'll make you a copy 614 00:25:23,961 --> 00:25:25,961 and keep the original here on file. 615 00:25:25,962 --> 00:25:28,296 Okay. 616 00:25:28,297 --> 00:25:29,697 - Are we done? - You bet ya. 617 00:25:33,803 --> 00:25:35,706 - What the hell was that? - Your new brother. 618 00:25:35,707 --> 00:25:40,707 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 44739

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