All language subtitles for EVS - Umbilical Brothers - HEAVEN_BY_STORM

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 3 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,316 Yeah The Brothers 4 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,360 The Umbies 5 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,360 Yeah The Umbi Wumbies 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,360 Yeah! Woo! 7 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,360 Where the bloody hell are they? 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,360 l think they're in Japan 9 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:32,360 What? 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,360 Japan 11 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,360 You're joking 12 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,360 Give me the phone give me the phone 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,318 Where's the number where's the number? 14 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,360 Excuse me 15 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,360 One second 16 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,360 Excuse me 17 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,360 l'm nearly finished 18 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,840 You forgot the country code 19 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,319 Oh for - 20 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,360 There we go 21 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,440 OK there's the second page 22 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,158 Oh for - 23 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,880 ls that a three or a five? 24 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,840 Seven 25 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,308 Thank you 26 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,360 Hello? 27 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,360 ls this one of the Umbilical Brothers? 28 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,360 Yes 29 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,640 Aren't you supposed to be somewhere? 30 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,360 l am somewhere 31 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,360 What? 32 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,360 l'm in Japan 33 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,360 No somewhere else 34 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,360 How could l be somewhere else l'm here 35 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,360 Subiaco 36 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:37,360 Subiaco oh bullshit l'll be right over 37 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,360 Dave 38 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,360 Yeah 39 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,360 Subiaco 40 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,319 Bullshit l'll meet you at the elevators 41 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,360 Come on let's go let's go 42 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,360 Wait l've got to check out 43 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:55,360 Quickly quickly 44 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,280 Excuse me sir did you use anything from the mini bar? 45 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,360 ''Yes l had a can of Coke, a packet of Pringles'' 46 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,360 And some edible panties 47 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,360 What are you doing with edible panties? 48 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,000 Everyone's wearing them in Japan 49 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,080 Check these out 50 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,840 Actually they look pretty good but we haven't got time for that now! 51 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,760 Wait for me 52 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,520 Pull your pants up you'll run quicker 53 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,360 Oh yeah 54 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,360 Taxi 55 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,315 Airport 56 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,360 When's the next plane leaving for Australia? 57 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,360 Next plane for Australia is leaving in ten seconds 58 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,360 Let's go 59 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,360 Wait wait you must undergo security check 60 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,360 We haven't got time for that now 61 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,080 Oh OK maybe next time have a nice flight 62 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,640 There's the plane 63 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:37,313 Quickly jump 64 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,360 Good evening everybody 65 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,360 My name is Bob l'm your captain 66 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,360 And l'm an Aussie just like you guys 67 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:54,360 We're flying on flight 623 direct to Guatemala 68 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,360 Oops 69 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,360 There we go flight 326 direct to Perth 70 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:03,360 Oh we're nearly there and hey look below us 71 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,360 There's Subiaco 72 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,315 Jump 73 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:12,360 Grab on to the edge of that building 74 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,040 Can't hold on much longer 75 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,315 Neither can l 76 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,315 My leg 77 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,315 My baby 78 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,318 Oh my God they're dead 79 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,316 Welcome 80 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,360 Hello 81 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:17,360 Do you know who l am? 82 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,360 Reckon l've got a pretty good idea 83 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,360 Just a second 84 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,360 What were you going to say? 85 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:31,360 lt can't be Barry White 86 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,360 Are you Barry white? 87 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,318 No l'm God 88 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,360 Close enough 89 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,360 Do you know where you are? 90 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,360 Well if you're God 91 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,360 Sorry just a second 92 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,360 What were you going to say? 93 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,360 Up the stairs 94 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,360 On the top floor? 95 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,360 Not on the top floor 96 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,360 On the roof? 97 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,360 Not the roof the gates 98 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,360 Bill Gates? 99 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,360 Not Bill Gates 100 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,360 Do you think it's Bill Gates? 101 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,315 No 102 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,360 Yes No 103 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:09,360 Devon 104 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,360 Heaven 105 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,360 Not quite 106 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,360 Look l have something very important to tell you- 107 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,360 Hang on 108 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,360 How do we know you are God 109 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:24,360 Oh God if that is indeed your real name 110 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,360 That's a very good point Shane 111 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,360 There are plenty of Gods aren't there? 112 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,360 ln lndia alone there's at least a couple 113 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:35,360 How do we know that you are THE 114 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,360 Oh yeah you see you could be Darth Vader 115 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,360 You might not be God 116 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:45,360 You could be any one of any number of unlicenced users of The Force 117 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,360 Do something God like 118 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,360 You know something God-ish 119 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,360 God-esque you know 120 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,360 Do something ama~zing God 121 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:53,319 Do something that's really going to im- 122 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,318 press me come on 123 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,316 Did l just 124 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,360 You got my vote God 125 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,360 Now to the important stuff 126 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,360 l must tell you that 127 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:24,360 Actually sorry just before we do oh impotent one 128 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,360 l had a lucky pair of socks 129 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,360 And l lost one in Poland a few weeks back 130 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,360 You're going to ask God about socks? 131 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,360 l'm going to ask God about lucky socks 132 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,360 God doesn't care about socks 133 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,360 What do you mean? 134 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,360 God cares about everything 135 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,360 That's a little question 136 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,360 You got to ask God the big questions 137 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,360 Like what 138 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,360 Like l don't know 139 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,360 God 140 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,360 Why? 141 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,360 l don't do rhetorical 142 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,360 Terry does 143 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,360 Who's Terry? 144 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,360 OK l've got a big one 145 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,360 l mean that's the question actually 146 00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,360 lt's my 147 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:00,360 l wanted to know 148 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,360 l don't want to know if it's enormous 149 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,360 l don't care about that stuff 150 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,360 l just want to know if it's in the average range 151 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,360 The biggest 152 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,360 The biggest? 153 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,360 He said the biggest right? 154 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:19,360 You mean l've got the biggest in the world? 155 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,360 Suck it! l've got the biggest in the world 156 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,360 No you misunderstand me 157 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:30,319 You ARE the biggest in the world 158 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,360 God sees all apparently 159 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,360 Enough of the miniscule questions God 160 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,360 Back to the important stuff 161 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,360 God how are we doing down here? 162 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:47,360 To answer that we must go back to the beginning 163 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,360 Your Universe 164 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,360 Or Dorothy as l like to call it 165 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,360 Was born in 1965 166 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,360 Before that there was nothing 167 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,360 Are you sure you've got your facts right God? 168 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,360 lt's all right here in Wikipedia 169 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,360 lt's all about the bo~zons apparently 170 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:12,360 God l don't mean how are we as a universe doing 171 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,360 l mean the two of us how are we doing? 172 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,360 Well 173 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,360 Some comics die on stage 174 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,360 You died before the show even started 175 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,360 How do you think you're doing? 176 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,360 A bit shit l guess 177 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,360 Could you at least give me a state of Poland 178 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,360 Where the sock might be l could call the hotel they have lost and found 179 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,360 Forget the sock 180 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,360 lt's embarrassing 181 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,360 lt's not embarrassing 182 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,360 We'll get you some more socks 183 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,360 That colour burgundy? 184 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,360 We'll find you a burgundy sheep 185 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,360 l have never seen that colour burgundy in sheep before 186 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,360 Don't worry about it mate 187 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,360 And the fluffiness? 188 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,360 You can not get that kind of fluffiness anymore 189 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,360 You can get the fluffiness 190 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,360 Look we don't have time for this 191 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,319 THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE 192 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,360 One sock? Oh for fucks sake 193 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,360 We got to have two socks we got two feet you should know you made us 194 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,360 l'm sorry there's nothing l can do 195 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,360 We only have one booking 196 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:01,360 Only one of you will pass on to the other side 197 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:06,309 And what happens to the other one? 198 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,360 Sorry l just remembered one of Terry's jokes 199 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,360 Who is this Terry character? 200 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,360 God is there a waiting list for the other side? 201 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,360 We tell people there is 202 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,360 Look l really like your stuff 203 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,360 l just don't think l could watch it forever 204 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:38,360 So we can only take one of you 205 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:46,313 What happens to the peope who don't necessarily believe in God? 206 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:53,360 The people who don't necessarily 207 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,360 Hello? 208 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:59,360 Sorry l was on another call 209 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,360 Right who's coming? 210 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,360 l thought you made that decision 211 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,360 Look l just do the admin 212 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,360 You must decide 213 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:12,319 Now who's it going to be 214 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,360 Jesus 215 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:17,360 Yes? 216 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,360 He's not talking to you 217 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,360 Back in your box Baby J 218 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,360 OK this is a huge decision 219 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,360 Big one yeah 220 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,360 Enormous this is the biggest decision we've ever made 221 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,360 Quite possibly 222 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,360 We've got to talk about this man 223 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,360 Let's see we'll put the points for 224 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,360 And the points against 225 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,360 We could do a Powerpoint demostration 226 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,360 We could point at each other all day 227 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,360 But basically l should go 228 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,360 Why should you go? 229 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,360 Because l'm the one with respect for God 230 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,360 You don't even believe in God 231 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,360 Doesn't mean l don't respect him 232 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,360 You were saying last week that you don't believe in God 233 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,360 Yeah well l do now don't l? 234 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,360 How convenient 235 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,360 Convenient or not l believe 236 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,360 You can't just change your mind 237 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:56,360 You can change your mind 238 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:56,760 You cannot just change your mind 239 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:57,360 You can that's exactly 240 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,360 Excuse me 241 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,360 Hey we're talking here alright? 242 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,360 You say you've got respect for God 243 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:05,360 Yes 244 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,360 No mate 245 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,360 You just interrupted him 246 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,360 You don't go interrupting somebody 247 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,360 lf you'd just listen 248 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,360 What are you deaf? 249 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,360 You just did it 250 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,360 l was just showing you what not to do 251 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,360 God's not going to fall for that 252 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,360 l don't want God to fall for anything 253 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,360 Obviously it's a high place 254 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,360 Exactly now listen to 255 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,360 l'm the one who should be going 256 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,360 Just be reasonable 257 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,360 l'm sure we could just 258 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,360 Shut the fuck up 259 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,360 Right 260 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,360 l'm sending you back to sort out your differences 261 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,360 And you dead is no good to these people 262 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,360 They've come to see a show 263 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,360 l would suggest you develop some compassion 264 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,360 And remember 265 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,319 THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE 266 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:56,310 Listen l'd wash my hands first before l put my hands there 267 00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,316 Whoa 268 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,316 Yeah 269 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,318 Are you talkin to me? 270 00:17:56,360 --> 00:18:00,360 No one has one of those things in their bathroom 271 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,360 Who has one of those things in their bathroom? 272 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,360 Me 273 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,360 Does anyone here 274 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,360 That's like a 20's Barbershop thing 275 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,360 Yeah 276 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,360 What are you Sweeny Todd or something? 277 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,360 l could be 278 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,360 What's in the basement? 279 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,360 Do you want to find out? 280 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,360 No l don't 281 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,360 OK 282 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,360 Alright 283 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,360 Why have you got 284 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,360 Does anyone here have one of 285 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:28,360 Mate l've got one of them because l've got one of these 286 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,360 Why have you got one of those? 287 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:34,360 Because l've got one of them 288 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,360 OK then 289 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,360 And l'm sorry l walked into your bathroom 290 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,360 Yeah right 291 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:45,360 l walked through your wall actually 292 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,318 l'm like an X-Man 293 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,315 God 294 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,360 Hello Professor X 295 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,315 Hello 296 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,360 What happened? 297 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,360 l've just got to focus. Concentrate 298 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,316 There we go 299 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,360 l can see- 300 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,360 Sorry. Carry on carry on 301 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,360 You said you were going to- 302 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:20,360 l won't bother you no more don't you worry about that 303 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,360 l should have known 304 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:26,360 You said you were going to behave because of the filming 305 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,360 l am behaving 306 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,360 You know that's a door 307 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,360 What? 308 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,360 lt's a door 309 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,316 Oh hello 310 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,316 With a light 311 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,360 lt's a lot more fun just going 312 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,360 Well you can do that as well because there's a 313 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:46,360 Hello 314 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:47,360 Oh hello 315 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,360 Watch it 316 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:51,360 And there's one down there 317 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:54,360 What's that for? 318 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,360 Oh my f- 319 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,316 ing balls 320 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:03,360 l just said oh my fucking balls 321 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,360 Just in case anyone was 322 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,360 Wondering what l might of- 323 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,318 lt's not a kids show 324 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,360 Not anym- 325 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:17,360 And kids just don't say those words 326 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,360 l you are just go 327 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,360 Oh my f- 328 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,360 ing balls 329 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:26,360 You could do that it's fine 330 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:31,360 l just punched you and this was in my hand 331 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,360 Oh my- 332 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:36,319 They're on the ground now 333 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:49,360 lt's filling up with penis blood 334 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,315 Oh yuk 335 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,360 Oh man 336 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,360 Penis blood 337 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,360 l know 338 00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,360 lf it wasn't a kids show before 339 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,360 Definitely not a kids show 340 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:03,360 lt's not no 341 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,360 OK 342 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:08,319 Oh God get it off me get it off me 343 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,316 (lt's on your ra~zor) 344 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,360 And it's on my ra~zor 345 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,360 There we go 346 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,360 lt's not a very sharp ra~zor is it? 347 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,360 l just sharpened it 348 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,360 OK it's a sharp ra~zor great 349 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,360 Oh you've got two of those 350 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,360 Why do you have two of those? 351 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:30,360 l've got two of everything 352 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:31,360 Yeah 353 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:38,311 Well l used to have two of everything until you cut me in the balls 354 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,360 Actually l should be saying 355 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:52,360 l used to have two of everything until you cut me in the balls 356 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:53,360 You mother 357 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,360 l tell you know 358 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,360 l'm not going to cope with that voice for the rest of the show 359 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:02,360 Could you stitch them back on or something 360 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,360 OK Luckily l'm doing this in the dark 361 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,318 Staple gun no 362 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:14,360 Putting my balls on in the dark 363 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:18,360 That was the original line 364 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:22,360 This is so not what we set out to make 365 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:26,360 That's right its being filmed OK 366 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:30,360 Yeah it's sharp man alright it's sharp enough 367 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:36,360 lt just gets me back because l just had that where the fuck am l expression 368 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,360 Yep it's sharp 369 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:38,360 lt's very sharp 370 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:41,318 Not sharp enough 371 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:49,360 You got two of those yeah of course 372 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,360 Why wouldn't you 373 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:53,360 Rub it in 374 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,360 OK 375 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,360 That's a very sharp ra~zor you got there 376 00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:58,360 lt is a very- 377 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,360 l'd be careful with that ra~zor of l were you 378 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,360 You be careful 379 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,360 l'll be careful you be careful 380 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,360 Let's all be careful then 381 00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:08,360 Oh man l've done this a million times l know what l'm doing 382 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:09,360 Just be careful 383 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,360 Yeah sure sure just just- 384 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:12,315 Don't 385 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:20,360 Careful 386 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:25,360 lf you laugh like that just when he's about to 387 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:29,319 Who knows what could happen 388 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,360 See that's the good- 389 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:42,360 When it's that sharp you can hear each individual listen 390 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:46,319 Wow that is very sharp 391 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:53,309 l warned you l warned you l said it'd be sharp 392 00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:02,319 Where's the staple gun no no no 393 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,360 Oh man 394 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,360 Oh you've got a huge wad of toilet paper 395 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:14,360 Are you gonna have that on your face for the rest of the show? 396 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,360 l'm pretty much going to have to yes 397 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:19,360 lt's not distracting is it? 398 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,360 That is really distracting 399 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,360 They're going to be looking at for the whole show 400 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,360 Just don't look at it 401 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:32,360 Yeah pretend it's not even there OK? 402 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:36,360 Just pretend it's not there don't look 403 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:40,360 Don't fuckin look at it mate! 404 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:46,310 ls there a problem is there a problem is there a problem? 405 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:58,311 lf he could see you he'd beat the shit out of you 406 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,360 There's that expression again 407 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:06,360 That's the what the fuck am l doing expression 408 00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:07,360 O~z~zy O~zborne 409 00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:08,360 We met him 410 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,360 O~z~zy O~zborne 411 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,360 At the Royal Variety Performance 412 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,360 The same time we met the Queen and Prince Philip 413 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,360 And then we met Sharon and O~z~zy O~zborne 414 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,360 And l got them confused 415 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,360 Because they're both the same height Sharon and the Queen 416 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:27,360 They've got the same hair they dress the same 417 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:35,360 And then behind them is this guy going What The Fuck Am l Doing? 418 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,316 lt's uncanny 419 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:41,360 So was that O~z~zy or the Duke? 420 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:44,360 That was both together morphed together 421 00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:47,360 No O~z~zy is what the fuck am l doing? 422 00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:50,360 And the Duke is what the fuck am l doing? 423 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:54,360 Where the fuck are we? 424 00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:59,309 Very nice couple very nice couple 425 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:19,319 Are you talkin to me? 426 00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:46,360 You're going to strangle yourself with the cord 427 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:50,319 lf you do that you'll strangle yourself 428 00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:00,360 lt's a gun? 429 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,360 Batteries 430 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:06,360 You don't want to get your hairdryer confused with a gun 431 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:09,318 What's it going to be? 432 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:13,315 Batteries 433 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:17,360 Yeah 434 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:23,360 l'll take your word for it that there are such things cause l don't need any kind of- 435 00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:29,310 You could do with an imaginary one though for your imaginary hair 436 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:35,360 Oh come on it's not that funny is it? 437 00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:40,360 We're all picturing what hair styles you have 438 00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:45,309 What kind of hair style do l have now eh? That's right 439 00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:55,360 Two hairdryers? 440 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:56,360 Of course 441 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:59,318 l've got two of everything 442 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:09,318 Are you talkin to me? 443 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:26,360 Two hair straighteners right 444 00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,318 Niether of which work 445 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,318 Are you talkin to me? 446 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,360 You 447 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,316 Bastard 448 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,360 G'day 449 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:31,360 OK what do you want l've got a machine gun a shot gun 450 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,318 Yeah Shot gun 451 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:42,309 Of course you've got two grenades in the bathroom yeah 452 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,318 Grenade grenade grenade 453 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,360 What was that about? 454 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,360 What was what about? 455 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:20,360 Carrying the grenade like this 456 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,360 lt was live 457 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,360 lt was a live grenade 458 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,318 Thought it was a cat 459 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,318 Are you talkin to me? 460 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:13,911 Damn it's fine to be an American 461 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,360 Oh my God Oh my God 462 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,318 Morning Dave Dave? 463 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,360 Just let me out of the cupboard 464 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:30,840 Thanks 465 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:31,360 Shane 466 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:32,360 Good morning 467 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,840 l've been having those weird dreams again 468 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,360 Those weird dreams? Yeah 469 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:36,840 About the sandwiches? What? 470 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,360 They're pretty weird dreams the sandwiches with legs 471 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:41,360 There's nothing weird about that 472 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,360 Oh yes there is 473 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:43,360 The weird dreams 474 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,360 What about the sandwiches dressed as penguins? 475 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:45,360 What? 476 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,360 The row of sandwiches dressed as penguins 477 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,360 And you're with them and you're going 478 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,360 No no no the nightmares 479 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,360 Oh about being an American 480 00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:54,840 Yes 481 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,360 Mate don't worry you're not an American 482 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,360 Not even the Americans are having that dream any more OK? 483 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,360 l think the pressure is getting to me 484 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:04,360 What pressure? 485 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,360 Job pressure 486 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,360 lt can't be job pressure 487 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,360 l'm a cop 488 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,360 You're in traffic 489 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:11,360 l'm a traffic cop 490 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:12,360 You're a parking inspector 491 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,360 l'm a parking inspector yeah 492 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,360 lt can't be job pressure 493 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,360 Listen mate you know what l think it is? 494 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:19,360 What's that? 495 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,360 l think it's something in your past 496 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,360 Really? 497 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,360 Yeah yeah usually when you're having weird dreams like that 498 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,360 Usually what you're doing is suppressing something from your past 499 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,360 You think so? 500 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,360 l know so 501 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,360 And l have a psychology degree 502 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:32,840 Really? 503 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,360 Yeah 504 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:34,360 Where is it? 505 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,760 There it is so yeah l know what l'm talking about 506 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:37,360 Alright 507 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,360 And l can help you identify that thing 508 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,360 And remove it from your life 509 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:43,360 OK let's do it 510 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,360 Alright l'm going to take you through some regression therapy 511 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:46,840 OK 512 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,360 l'm going to take you back 513 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:48,840 OK 514 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:55,360 First of all what l want you to do is l want you to relax 515 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,316 Too much 516 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,360 Too relaxed 517 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:05,360 Flipping fans l love them 518 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,360 That was ama~zing 519 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,360 l think l just broke my spine 520 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,360 Now just relax Dave and breath 521 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,360 Because if you don't you die 522 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:14,840 Alright now 523 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,360 l want you to travel back in your mind 524 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:18,760 OK 525 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,360 Should be a short trip 526 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,360 Now just think back 527 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,360 OK think back 528 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,360 Nothing nothing nothing 529 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,360 Keep going 530 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,360 Nothing nothing nothing 531 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:30,360 Keep going 532 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,360 Nothing nothing nothing 533 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,360 Hang on a second hang on a second 534 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,360 What? What? 535 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,360 Could have been something 536 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,360 Where? What? 537 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,360 Change direction go forward go forward 538 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,360 gnihton gnihton gnihton 539 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,360 Hang on a second 540 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:47,840 What? 541 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,360 Could have been something 542 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,360 Just go back slowly 543 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,360 N 544 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,360 o 545 00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,360 th 546 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:04,360 ing 547 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:05,360 N 548 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,360 o 549 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:19,840 Lebellagolafolafoo l shouldn't do a balle latex oh space monkey aye aye aye aye oh say can you see 550 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,360 ing 551 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,360 No- 552 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:31,360 Hang on a second Daaaaaaaaaaaaa 553 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,360 vid 554 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,360 Could have been something what was that about? 555 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,360 Actually Shane now that you mention it 556 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:45,360 l've never really been quite the same since the incident 557 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,316 The incident? 558 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:55,360 Yeah l've never really been quite the same since the incident 559 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,360 Sounds serious 560 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,360 lt is serious 561 00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:58,360 Especially that bit 562 00:34:58,360 --> 00:34:59,360 That's the most serious bit 563 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,360 Woh well tell me about it mate 564 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,360 l'll tell you about it yes 565 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,360 Well it was back in 1989 it was a winters afternoon 566 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:12,360 l was alone with an orchestra at the time when l came across four... 567 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,360 And that's the whole story 568 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:19,360 Sorry l wasn't paying attention what was that? 569 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,360 Well it was back in 1989 it was a winters afternoon 570 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,360 l was wearing a red dress at the time when l came across... 571 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,360 And that's the whole story 572 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,360 What's the whole story? 573 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:35,360 You go over there the lights go out then you say that's the whole story 574 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,360 Listen Shane the fact of the matter is l think l'm losing my mind 575 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:43,319 Come on you're not losing your mind 576 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,360 lnsane going l think l'm 577 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,360 l think l'm going insane 578 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,360 Don't be ridiculous mate 579 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,360 l think l'm going insane 580 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,360 David that's just cra~zy talk 581 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,360 lt's cra~zy talk 582 00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,360 Come on 583 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,360 l don't mean it literally ya loony 584 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,360 Loony 585 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,840 No it's just a figure of speech ya fuckin weirdo 586 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:07,360 OK 587 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:08,360 You know what your problem is Dave? 588 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,360 What's that? 589 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:15,360 Your problemo is that you've been cooped up in this imaginary house for way too long 590 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,360 l do like my imaginary house 591 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,760 l like what you've imaginarily done with it 592 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:20,360 Thank you 593 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,360 l think it's imaginarily imaginative 594 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,360 Thank you for imaginarily saying so 595 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,360 You're imaginarily welcome 596 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,360 What's your favourite thing about it? 597 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:32,360 Well imaginarily speaking l like what you've done with the bathroom 598 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,360 l don't know about the bits of cat everywhere 599 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:36,360 lt's a Polish technique 600 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,360 lt's a Polish technique OK 601 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:41,360 l like what you've done with the imaginary rugs over there 602 00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,360 Thank you l like the rugs Lithuanian 603 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,360 l like your imaginary curtains 604 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,360 l like what you've done with them 605 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,360 What curtains? 606 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,360 My fuckin imagination alright? Don't put anything in 607 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:56,360 Sorry couldn't resist a bit of inception every now and then just happens 608 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,360 Listen mate you know what your problem is? 609 00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,360 What's my problem? 610 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,360 You need to go for a walk 611 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:00,760 What? 612 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:01,360 Get outside 613 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:02,360 Just go out you know? 614 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,360 You've been cooped up in here for too long 615 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,360 You need some exercise you know 616 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,360 You can't just stay inside all day 617 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,360 You know what l'm saying? 618 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:10,360 You got to go out you know? 619 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,360 You can't stay in the side you got to get some exercise 620 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:14,360 You got to go out 621 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:15,360 You have to go out 622 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,360 You know you can't stay in here you have to get out 623 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,360 You have to go out more 624 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:20,360 You have to go out 625 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,360 You have to go out 626 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:22,315 You have to- 627 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,360 My upper body is getting way too heavy 628 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,360 You have to get out 629 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,360 You have to get out 630 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,360 Get out 631 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,360 Are you alright? 632 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,360 Yeah l'm fine l'm fine 633 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,360 You just got to go for a walk in the park 634 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,360 Actually that's a good idea l'll go for a walk in the imaginary park 635 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:41,360 Yes why not 636 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,840 And listen when you're feeling the pressure get to you 637 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:45,360 Yeah 638 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,360 Just stop and say to yourself 639 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,360 l am not cra~zy 640 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,360 l am not cra~zy 641 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,360 lt sounds so simple Shane 642 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,360 lt's as simple as you and l 643 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,840 That's pretty simple 644 00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:58,360 lt certainly is 645 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,360 Now listen l've got to go l've got to meet Andrew 646 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,360 Who's Andrew? 647 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,360 He's just a subplot l've been working on 648 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:04,360 Good luck with that 649 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,360 You'll be fine mate there's nothing wrong with you 650 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,360 Thank you thanks for your concern 651 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:08,840 No worries 652 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:09,360 OK 653 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,360 Bye nutcase 654 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,360 See you what the? 655 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,315 He's probably right 656 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:20,309 l should go for a walk in the imaginary park 657 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,318 Hello little birdie 658 00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:58,315 Fetch 659 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:07,315 Fetch 660 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:13,315 Fetch 661 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,315 Fetch 662 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:20,315 Fetch 663 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:33,360 l am not cra~zy 664 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,316 Am l? 665 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,318 Hello little birdie 666 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,318 Are you talkin to me? 667 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:08,315 Yeah 668 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,318 My precious 669 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,318 Are you talkin to me? 670 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:22,840 What the hell was that? 671 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,360 Just a little cricket 672 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,360 A little cricket? A little cricket? 673 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:26,360 Yeah 674 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:27,360 Andrew! 675 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,360 What? 676 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,360 This was the subplot l've been working on 677 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,360 Your subplots a cricket? 678 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:35,316 Why? 679 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,360 Quickly administer CPR 680 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,360 CPR CPR What's CPR? 681 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:49,360 Cricket To Person resuscitation don't you know anything quickly 682 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:53,360 Yes yes yes 683 00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,360 No no no 684 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,360 OK Andrew you'll be OK 685 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,360 Come on Andrew we're rooting for you mate 686 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:01,360 Dave Dave Dave 687 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,360 You can do it Andrew 688 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:02,840 David 689 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:03,360 l'm trying to help 690 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:04,360 Just give me some room OK? 691 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,360 Yeah sure OK 692 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:06,360 Come on Andrew 693 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,360 Dave just give me some room mate just give me some room 694 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,360 We're here for you Andrew 695 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,360 David room give me some OK? 696 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:12,360 Breath Andrew 697 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,360 Give me some room Dave 698 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:15,360 Andrew 699 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,360 Dave room give me some 700 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:17,360 Give me an A 701 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,360 Give me some room Dave give me some room 702 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,360 Andrew 703 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,360 Yeah that's about right OK 704 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,360 Andrew l don't know what to do l don't know what to do 705 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,319 l'll call an ambulance just hang on 706 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,360 There's a cliff down there for some reason 707 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,360 Shane? 708 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,360 Shane? 709 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,360 OK Andrew l've called the ambula- 710 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,360 What happened to Andrew? 711 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,360 What? 712 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,360 Where's Andrew? 713 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:50,840 Oh he's gone 714 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:51,360 He's gone? 715 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:51,840 Yeah he's gone? 716 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:52,360 He's OK? 717 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:53,360 Oh he is so fantastic 718 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:53,840 He's alright? 719 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:54,360 Yeah yeah he's great 720 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:55,360 Where did he go? 721 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,360 He went off back that way somewhere 722 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,360 He ran off and he said 723 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,360 He said thanks very much for saving his life 724 00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,360 He said make sure you tell Shane 725 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:05,360 Thanks very much for saving his life 726 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:06,360 And then he had to go so l've got to go to 727 00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:07,360 Why did he have to go? 728 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:07,760 Hey? 729 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,360 Well he was injured and everything why did he have to go so suddenly? 730 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,360 He said he said he said l'll tell you what he said 731 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,360 l've got a very important engagement to get to and so he ran off 732 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:16,840 What sort of engagement? 733 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:17,360 What? 734 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:18,360 What sort of engagement? 735 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,360 He said a very important engagement party 736 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:22,360 Who's getting engaged? 737 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:23,360 He is 738 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:24,360 What Andrew is getting engaged? 739 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:24,760 Yep 740 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:25,360 Andrew's getting engaged? 741 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,360 Yeah yeah he didn't tell you? 742 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:26,760 No 743 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:27,840 And you're meant to be a friend of his 744 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:28,360 Yes 745 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,360 What a dick l can't believe that 746 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:31,360 Anyway l've got to go too so l'll see you later on 747 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:32,360 Why do you have to go? 748 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,360 Man will you stop- l just- cause he said l've gotta go 749 00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:36,160 But you just met him 750 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:36,560 Yeah 751 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,360 And you're gonna go just because he said? 752 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:38,840 Mate Yes 753 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:39,360 Why? 754 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:39,840 You know why? 755 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:40,360 Why? 756 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:44,360 Because l'm getting engaged to him 757 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:44,840 What? 758 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:45,840 You and Andrew? 759 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:46,360 Yep 760 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:47,360 The two of you? 761 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:48,360 Yeah surprise! 762 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,360 Ha ha ha you didn't know but now you do it's so- 763 00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:52,360 l'll see you bye 764 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,360 Andrew my love 765 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,316 Congratulations 766 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,319 Shit 767 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,360 Andrew and Dave 768 00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:05,360 Dave and Andrew are gettin it on 769 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,360 Don't get me wrong it's awesome you know 770 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,760 l'm all for mixed relationships 771 00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:12,360 l think they're fantastic 772 00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,360 lt's just that they only just met 773 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:20,360 And usually it takes time for a guy and a cricket 774 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,960 To get to know each other 775 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,360 You know you got to talk about stuff 776 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:24,360 You got to go out 777 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,360 You gotta discover each others secret places 778 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:32,309 You know just find things you like to do- 779 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,316 What the? 780 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,319 lt's like a little pu~z~zle 781 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,360 Oh Jesus Fuck 782 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:04,360 Andrew! Oh my God 783 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,360 Andrew oh my God 784 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,360 You'll be fine you'll be fine mate you'll be fine 785 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:09,360 There's nothing wrong with you 786 00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,360 lt's just a flesh wound Andrew 787 00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:12,840 You'll be fine there's nothing wrong with you 788 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:16,840 l can't lie to you mate you look shithouse 789 00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,360 Oh my God 790 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,360 You're alive you're still alive you're still alive OK 791 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,360 Just hang on Andrew just hang on 792 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,360 You'll be OK 793 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,360 Just tell me Andrew 794 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,760 Who did this? 795 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,840 David 796 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,360 l see 797 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,160 Well let me say this 798 00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,760 This 799 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,360 And another thing 800 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,360 l swear to you Andrew 801 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:46,360 l swear that this act will not go unpunished 802 00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,360 lt will not go unpunished and l will not let you down 803 00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:52,360 l have never let you down and l will not let you down now 804 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:53,360 l swear to you Andrew 805 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:58,360 l swear in front of these slightly confused people here tonight 806 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,360 l swear to you Andrew 807 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,360 l swear that l shall avenge 808 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,316 Oh shit 809 00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,760 Shane Shane 810 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:30,360 Clink 811 00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:31,713 How are you man how you doing? 812 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:33,760 l haven't seen you in the gym before 813 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,200 l come here l like to work out before l go on the beat 814 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,200 Go on the mean streets of Perth 815 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,200 Before l go to work so um 816 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,800 And l listen to the boogie music 817 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,200 That's my boogie music just there 818 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,360 lt gets the blood flowing all over the body 819 00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:46,360 Do you know what l mean? 820 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,160 And what are you doing? What are you doing? 821 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:50,760 Man don't- Could you not do that please 822 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,360 lt's very hard to use the cassette 823 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,760 Once that's out of the little plastic enclosure 824 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,160 Shane could you not do that please 825 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:57,360 Why are you doing that? 826 00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,360 No don't lick it 827 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,360 l can't use it if it's wet 828 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,360 Or out like that l'm need a pencil or something 829 00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:04,360 Has anyone got a pencil? 830 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,360 What are you- Now it's dirty 831 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:10,319 You've put liquid on it and 832 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:20,360 Are you upset about something? 833 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,360 Your not still upset about the insect are you? 834 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:27,360 What was it the the cockroachy thing? 835 00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:30,360 The um cricket right? 836 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:31,360 Agatha 837 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:32,360 No Artie 838 00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:33,360 No Andy Andrew 839 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,360 Andrew? Was that it? 840 00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,800 That's it? Seriously? 841 00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,360 Man come one 842 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,360 Get over it mate 843 00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:42,360 Get over it 844 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,360 l mean it was like 845 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,360 A minute ago 846 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,360 You know this is so- 847 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:50,840 This is wrong 848 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,360 You can't you shouldn't 849 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,360 You're not allowed to come in here and be upset 850 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,360 Why should you? 851 00:47:56,360 --> 00:48:00,360 lf anyone should be upset 852 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:05,160 lf anyone should be upset it should be me 853 00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,360 lt should be me that's right 854 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,360 lt should be me because l'm the one 855 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,120 l was the one 856 00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:18,360 That was engaged to him 857 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,760 Oh Andrew my love where will l find another? 858 00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:27,709 Maybe in a field or something l don't know 859 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,716 That is bullshit 860 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,316 Easy easy 861 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:16,319 Come on yeah come on come on 862 00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,360 This is for Andrew 863 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,316 No no no 864 00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:46,319 Yeah come on l'll have you come on 865 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,316 One hand 866 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,310 No hands 867 00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:22,319 lt's not over Dave it's not over 868 00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:33,718 Limber 869 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,316 Limber 870 00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,318 Sounded a bit like a fart didn't it? 871 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:10,360 No 872 00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:11,760 lt's a ~zip right? 873 00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,760 Yes it's a ~zip 874 00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:14,715 No 875 00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,360 You're quibbling about ~zip noises 876 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,360 Yeah watch 877 00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,316 Big one 878 00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,316 Medium si~ze 879 00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:29,315 Small 880 00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:32,315 Jesus 881 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,360 You people 882 00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,360 What are you ~zip fetishists or something? 883 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:44,360 You guys are really into ~zips 884 00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,316 Who isn't? 885 00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:48,360 l don't know 886 00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:52,360 OK yeah we get it ~zips 887 00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,760 l didn't close that one 888 00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:56,760 Oh come on that's enough 889 00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,160 l'm just getting into work mode 890 00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,160 You're a parking inspector 891 00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:01,000 What are you wearing? 892 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:05,880 They don't have a parking inspector in the Village People as far as l recall 893 00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,160 l'm in work mode now that was my relax 894 00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,310 When l come home l go 895 00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,360 Flip flip flip flip 896 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,160 Now you're doing onomatapia 897 00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:18,718 Flip flip flip 898 00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:20,960 l thought you were going to ~zip 899 00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,918 Remote control ~zipper 900 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,360 That's enough of the ~zips 901 00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:31,240 We get it 902 00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:31,360 That's e- 903 00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,160 Oh for fu- 904 00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:35,160 l really don't want to 905 00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:35,360 Do any 906 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:36,760 More ~zip- 907 00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:37,760 Oh for God's 908 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:38,360 Sake 909 00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:39,360 Stop it with the ~zip- 910 00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,316 This is ridicu- 911 00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,316 That must be a bitch to get out of 912 00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,318 l did that for you 913 00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,319 We should all go to the ~zipper club 914 00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:17,360 Oh man 915 00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:22,309 Never have so few been amused by so many ~zips 916 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:39,360 Having trouble with your bike? 917 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:42,360 Technical problems? 918 00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:46,160 l'm having problems with you is who l'm having problems with 919 00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,360 Just reminding you that without me 920 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:52,318 You're just a mime 921 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,360 What does that make you without me? 922 00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:08,319 Just a fart noise? 923 00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,360 They're ~zippers right fetishists? 924 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:16,319 Not without me they're not 925 00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:23,360 Was that a fart fetishist or a ~zipper fetishist? 926 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:24,360 OK so 927 00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:25,360 Oh for fu- 928 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:26,360 Man seriously 929 00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:27,360 So just do the sound of a motorbike? 930 00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,360 Does anyone want to got to the bathroom? 931 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,360 Because now is a good time 932 00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,360 l just might follow you and make the noise though 933 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,360 So just be careful 934 00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:37,360 This is taking forever 935 00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:40,318 This guy in the next cubicle 936 00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:52,960 l can't believe l did that and we were filming the show 937 00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,918 That's not going on the DVD 938 00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,360 You'll get the DVD and they'll be us 939 00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:02,360 And then we'll- 940 00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:05,760 Sharp edit 941 00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,760 Completely different lighting state 942 00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:10,360 OK ok 943 00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:12,760 Can you do it because it's a lot harder 944 00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,760 lt actually hurt to do it without the sound 945 00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:16,760 lt's much harder 946 00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:17,760 That's cause there's nothing there 947 00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:18,715 Exactly 948 00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,760 OK here we go 949 00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:27,718 Transport is at the ready 950 00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:34,760 Oh come 951 00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:36,760 lf someone came into the room right now 952 00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,760 And saw that 953 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,360 What do you think they'd think? 954 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:46,360 l'm riding a donkey NO NO NO 955 00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:54,360 That's right children Dave is Riding the Donkey 956 00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,360 So that's what they're calling it this year aye? 957 00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,360 Riding a donkey? 958 00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:02,760 l have the reins in one hand 959 00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:06,719 The reins in one hand 960 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:13,760 That's really embarressing 961 00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:14,360 And it's really 962 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:20,360 From this angle it looks even worse 963 00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:24,360 That's what he's seeing 964 00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:27,360 Don't point that thing at me 965 00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:28,360 Alright 966 00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:33,309 lt's a trasformer donkey it'll turn into a motorbike how's that? 967 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,318 lt can also turn into a chicken 968 00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,360 What's that? 969 00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,360 lt's my siren 970 00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:54,360 Come on man 971 00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:55,360 You're a parking inspector 972 00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,360 l'm a very important parking inspector 973 00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,360 You're a very deluded parking inspector 974 00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:05,360 On a transforming donkey going 975 00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:06,360 Come on give me a siren 976 00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:07,360 Give you a siren 977 00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:08,360 Give us a siren 978 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,316 Give us a siren OK 979 00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:43,360 OK hang on a second 980 00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:44,360 lt's OK they didn't laugh at it 981 00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:48,360 Never mind the extra thumb 982 00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:51,360 l did not see you put any gloves on 983 00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:55,360 So you've just pulled the skin off your own hands 984 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:59,360 l put the gloves on before the show 985 00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,360 l sleep in my gloves 986 01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:04,360 You slept in your gloves? 987 01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:07,360 You went to the toilet you had a shower in your gloves 988 01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:07,760 Yep 989 01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,360 OK and the ~zippers... 990 01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:12,960 l'm starting to get an idea of what kind of clubs you go to 991 01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,360 l've got gloves and l've got leg warmers on 992 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,360 Now l'm totally confused about the kind of clubs you go to 993 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,360 What a feeling 994 01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,318 l am slightly confused 995 01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,316 Limber 996 01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:46,116 Limber 997 01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:50,316 Limber 998 01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,316 Limber 999 01:00:58,360 --> 01:00:59,360 What are you doing? 1000 01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:00,360 Directing traffic 1001 01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,360 Mate you're a parking inspector 1002 01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:03,360 Mate l've got a siren 1003 01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:06,360 Alright for the sake of moving along 1004 01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:08,360 You're a traffic policeman 1005 01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:09,360 Traffic person 1006 01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:11,316 Traffic policeman 1007 01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,316 Seatbelt mate 1008 01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,316 Pull over mate 1009 01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:15,316 Pull over mate 1010 01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:28,360 lt was a gun a second ago 1011 01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:34,360 l got it confused with your hairdryer 1012 01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:40,360 l would have taken the hairdryer out to get the- 1013 01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:43,360 l'm gonna blow you away 1014 01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:47,000 l could have melted the tires 1015 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,360 l know what you're thinkin 1016 01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,318 Did he do six perms or only five? 1017 01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,360 Hold it 1018 01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,316 Rewind 1019 01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:28,309 Let's see that last pass again in slow motion replay 1020 01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,316 Limber 1021 01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:14,760 Can l help you officer? 1022 01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:16,318 Ow my eyes! 1023 01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:22,315 Hey Hey! 1024 01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,360 Where'd you get that car Dave? 1025 01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:27,316 That's not your car 1026 01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,360 Dave listen l've got to talk to you about something 1027 01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:33,316 lt's about Andrew 1028 01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:36,360 lt's important 1029 01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:37,315 Dave 1030 01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:39,360 Yeah hi hi 1031 01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:41,360 Could you wind the window down 1032 01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:44,360 l've got something to talk to you about 1033 01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:46,316 Window down man 1034 01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:51,319 Window window. Wind the window down 1035 01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:57,315 Jesus 1036 01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,360 How do you drive with that that loud? 1037 01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:03,316 lt calms me 1038 01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,360 That calms you? 1039 01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:07,315 Yeah yeah 1040 01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:13,360 That couldn't possibly calm anyone 1041 01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,316 That couldn't calm any- 1042 01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:18,360 OK we get it 1043 01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:19,360 Joke's over 1044 01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:21,360 At least give me a 1045 01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:22,360 Chance to 1046 01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:23,360 Catch my 1047 01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:24,315 Breath 1048 01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:45,360 And in other news Dave is a wanker 1049 01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:47,316 And he can get 1050 01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:50,360 Now listen Dave mate 1051 01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:51,360 Yep 1052 01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,360 l've got something important to talk to you about 1053 01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:54,360 Oh sure yeah all ears 1054 01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:57,360 Now we've known each other for a long time 1055 01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:00,318 This is about Andrew. l just thought 1056 01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:04,360 Mate l'm collecting for his funeral 1057 01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,318 l thought you could spare some cash 1058 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:11,318 Mate look just a dollar for a 1059 01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:17,360 Dave look don't run away from your responsibilities 1060 01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:19,360 l'm not l'm driving 1061 01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:22,360 You were responsible for his injuries 1062 01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,360 Look just give me a dollar man 1063 01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:26,360 For a little casket 1064 01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,360 Alright twenty cents 1065 01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:30,360 Come on you can spare twenty cents 1066 01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,360 Twenty cents dude 1067 01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:33,360 Come one 1068 01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:35,316 That's not fair 1069 01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:41,318 Come on man just give me twenty cents 1070 01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:48,360 Dave just give me twenty cents 1071 01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:49,360 Come on 1072 01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:52,360 A little compassion 1073 01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:54,360 Twenty centardos 1074 01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:55,360 Just give me twenty cents 1075 01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:58,360 Twenty cents Dave just give me twenty cents 1076 01:06:58,360 --> 01:07:00,360 Give me twenty cents 1077 01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,316 Give me twenty cents 1078 01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:11,360 Twenty cents 1079 01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:13,316 Twenty cents 1080 01:07:30,360 --> 01:07:32,316 Twenty cents 1081 01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:44,309 lt's alright we've got plenty of them 1082 01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:58,319 Just give me twenty cents 1083 01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:25,316 Give me twenty cents 1084 01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,318 Twenty fuckin cents 1085 01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:08,316 Now listen 1086 01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:11,360 David 1087 01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:15,360 This has gone 1088 01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,360 Beyond a joke 1089 01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:21,318 Yeah not sure about that 1090 01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:26,360 All l want 1091 01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:29,318 ls a little compassion 1092 01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:33,316 And twenty cents 1093 01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:32,315 Shane? 1094 01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:37,318 Shane? Shane? Shane? 1095 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,316 Shane come on 1096 01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:23,360 Shane 1097 01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:25,316 (Do CPR) 1098 01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:40,309 He's not a cricket is he? 1099 01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:47,316 Shane? Shane? 1100 01:11:52,360 --> 01:11:53,315 Shane? 1101 01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:56,315 Shane? 1102 01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:05,360 Shane? 1103 01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:08,360 Shane are you OK? 1104 01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:10,360 Shane are you OK? 1105 01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:12,316 Nipple cripple! Nipple cripple! 1106 01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:37,360 How did you make your heart stop like that? 1107 01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:40,318 Shane! Shane! Shane! 1108 01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:51,360 Ambulance? Yes yes Regal Theatre Subiaco yeah that's right 1109 01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:53,316 OK quickly 1110 01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:04,360 No! No! No! 1111 01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:05,360 Oh for - 1112 01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:09,360 there's a tire mark on him what are you doing? 1113 01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:13,360 No! Not a truck! No please! 1114 01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:16,318 He's already dead! 1115 01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:24,310 No not a transforming donkey! 1116 01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:31,360 lt's a hover craft 1117 01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:33,360 A hover craft? No! 1118 01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:37,360 Oh my God oh God oh 1119 01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:43,360 God if you're there please l need you 1120 01:13:43,360 --> 01:13:47,360 lt's an emergency God please it's David hello? 1121 01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:48,360 Hello God here 1122 01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:50,360 God! lt's David from the beginning of the show 1123 01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:53,360 Unfortunately l'm unavailable to answer the call 1124 01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:55,360 but if you'd like to leave a message 1125 01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:58,360 Please speak after the beep cherio 1126 01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:02,319 God it's David from the beginning of the 1127 01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:10,360 God it's David from the beginning of the show 1128 01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:15,360 l've got Shane and he's not working 1129 01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:19,360 lt's an emergancy God if you're there could you pick up? 1130 01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:20,315 Hello? 1131 01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,360 ls that God? 1132 01:14:23,360 --> 01:14:26,360 No this is Terry 1133 01:14:26,360 --> 01:14:28,360 Oh Terry yes God mentioned you listen Terry 1134 01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:30,360 ls God there? 1135 01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:33,360 Well that's the question isn't it? 1136 01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:35,360 And the answer? Could you call for him or something? 1137 01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:37,760 Hang on a moment. Just getting another call 1138 01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:38,360 What? 1139 01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:39,360 l'll just put you on hold 1140 01:14:39,360 --> 01:14:41,360 No no don't put me on hold Terry it's an emergancy 1141 01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:44,360 Please God no Terry Terry call for God 1142 01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:48,360 Terry can you hear me? Terry! 1143 01:14:48,360 --> 01:14:52,319 Terry please it's an emergancy Terry please Terry 1144 01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:11,316 Terry ah no 1145 01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:15,318 Look forget it l'll do it myself 1146 01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:33,316 Give me twenty cents! 1147 01:15:47,360 --> 01:15:49,360 Come on baby 1148 01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:51,316 Bingo 1149 01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:54,316 Give me twenty 1150 01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:19,316 Oh that's not fair that's not fair 1151 01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:25,360 Hey Dave Dave Dave Dave hold it there hold it there 1152 01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:27,360 What are you doing? 1153 01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:29,316 What's that gonna 1154 01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:34,316 A hair dryer! 1155 01:16:55,360 --> 01:17:00,360 Grab him grab him grab him grab him grab him 1156 01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:02,316 Or just sit there! 1157 01:17:39,360 --> 01:17:43,319 Oh my God that was loud 1158 01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:53,360 Did you say something? 1159 01:17:53,360 --> 01:18:00,360 Hey Dave l think the music was too loud 1160 01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:03,360 What? 1161 01:18:03,360 --> 01:18:05,360 l can't hear you 1162 01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:09,360 The music was too loud 1163 01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,360 What? 1164 01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,360 l can't hear what you're saying 1165 01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:17,318 l think the music was too loud 1166 01:18:20,360 --> 01:18:21,315 Loud! 1167 01:18:24,360 --> 01:18:25,315 What? 1168 01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:30,360 l can't hear you 1169 01:18:30,360 --> 01:18:34,360 The music was too loud 1170 01:18:34,360 --> 01:18:36,360 l didn't like it 1171 01:18:36,360 --> 01:18:39,360 What the fuck is this? 1172 01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:41,360 What are you doing? 1173 01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:44,360 l can't hear what you're saying 1174 01:18:44,360 --> 01:18:46,360 The music was too loud 1175 01:18:46,360 --> 01:18:48,316 Too loud! 1176 01:18:50,360 --> 01:18:53,360 Loud! Loud! Loud! 1177 01:18:53,360 --> 01:18:54,360 What? 1178 01:18:54,360 --> 01:18:55,360 What? 1179 01:18:55,360 --> 01:18:56,360 l can't 1180 01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:59,360 Listen to me OK listen 1181 01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:01,360 Very carefully 1182 01:19:01,360 --> 01:19:05,360 l'm only going to say this one more time 1183 01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:06,360 What? 1184 01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:09,360 Oh for fu- 1185 01:19:09,360 --> 01:19:14,360 l can't hear you 1186 01:19:14,360 --> 01:19:18,360 OK? Me l can't hear you 1187 01:19:18,360 --> 01:19:20,360 Because 1188 01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:23,360 The music 1189 01:19:23,360 --> 01:19:27,360 Was too 1190 01:19:27,360 --> 01:19:31,360 Fucking 1191 01:19:31,360 --> 01:19:34,318 Loud 1192 01:19:44,360 --> 01:19:46,316 What? 1193 01:19:49,360 --> 01:19:52,318 Oh no get off me get off me! 1194 01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:27,318 What is he chasing me for? 1195 01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,360 And now please make him welcome 1196 01:20:58,360 --> 01:21:00,360 Someone who thinks he's hilarious 1197 01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:02,316 Dave! 1198 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,360 Yeah! Woo! 1199 01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:09,360 ls everybody ready to rock? 1200 01:21:09,360 --> 01:21:12,360 Well you can't those seats are bolted down 1201 01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:15,360 l wouldn't even try thank you 1202 01:21:15,360 --> 01:21:16,360 That's not funny 1203 01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:17,360 Tell us a funny joke 1204 01:21:17,360 --> 01:21:18,360 lt was funny mate. 1205 01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:21,360 Please don't disrupt the comedians on stage 1206 01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:22,360 Comedians? You? 1207 01:21:22,360 --> 01:21:23,360 Yes 1208 01:21:23,360 --> 01:21:24,360 Tell us something funny 1209 01:21:24,360 --> 01:21:26,360 lf you just give me half a chance l will 1210 01:21:26,360 --> 01:21:28,360 My grandmother is so old 1211 01:21:28,360 --> 01:21:32,360 lf she's as old as these jokes she's fucking dead 1212 01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:33,360 Seriously could you 1213 01:21:33,360 --> 01:21:35,360 That got more of a laugh than you 1214 01:21:35,360 --> 01:21:37,360 Security! l'm going to get you chucked out 1215 01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:38,360 l am security 1216 01:21:38,360 --> 01:21:39,360 Oh shit 1217 01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,360 Tell us a fucking joke 1218 01:21:41,360 --> 01:21:44,360 What kind of bees make milk? 1219 01:21:44,360 --> 01:21:45,360 Boobies 1220 01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:48,360 Oh my God the only boobie around here is you ya tit 1221 01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:50,316 Mate shut up 1222 01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:55,360 Oh my God he just shot the heckler l can't ow! 1223 01:21:55,360 --> 01:21:56,360 Oh my God 1224 01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:59,360 He just shot the person that was talking about the heckler being ow! 1225 01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:05,360 Oh my God he just shot the person that was talking about the person that was talking about the heckler being shot 1226 01:22:05,360 --> 01:22:07,360 He just shot my pussy 1227 01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:13,360 This is ridiculous this is just devolving into common innuendo and cheap jokes 1228 01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:16,360 Yes let's listen to the voice of reason up the top there yes sir 1229 01:22:16,360 --> 01:22:17,360 Alright look l've got a request 1230 01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:18,360 Certainly sir yes 1231 01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:21,318 Just give me twenty cents! 1232 01:22:29,360 --> 01:22:32,318 Just give me twenty cents! 1233 01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:37,360 You should not have come back old man 1234 01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:41,360 When l left you l was but a learner 1235 01:22:41,360 --> 01:22:44,318 Now l am the master 1236 01:22:48,360 --> 01:22:51,360 Only a master of evil Darth 1237 01:22:51,360 --> 01:22:54,360 You said you were going to put your Ben Kenobi costume on tonight 1238 01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:55,360 Forget the costume lets just 1239 01:22:55,360 --> 01:22:57,360 No we're filming you got to put it on you said 1240 01:22:57,360 --> 01:22:58,360 it's not ready 1241 01:22:58,360 --> 01:23:01,360 How long have you been working on it for? 1242 01:23:01,360 --> 01:23:02,360 Six weeks 1243 01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:05,360 Six weeks l think these guys will appreciate the effort 1244 01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:06,360 lt's not ready 1245 01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:10,360 lt's perfect. You want to see his Ben Kenobi costume? 1246 01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:11,360 Come on man 1247 01:23:11,360 --> 01:23:15,360 l grew my hair to look like his helmet the least you can do 1248 01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:16,360 ls put your costume on 1249 01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:18,360 Yeah but that only took you a week 1250 01:23:18,360 --> 01:23:21,360 Come on man put your costume on 1251 01:23:21,360 --> 01:23:25,360 Yeah OK for the kids and the pixies out there 1252 01:23:25,360 --> 01:23:28,360 OK OK l'll just bear in mind it's not quite ready 1253 01:23:28,360 --> 01:23:30,360 But it takes me a minute to put this on 1254 01:23:30,360 --> 01:23:32,360 Sure l'l just do the line again 1255 01:23:32,360 --> 01:23:36,360 Tina could l have my larger testicles back please 1256 01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:39,360 You should not have come back old man 1257 01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:42,360 When l left you l was but a learner 1258 01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:45,318 Now l am the master 1259 01:23:55,360 --> 01:23:58,360 ls that a charity clap? 1260 01:23:58,360 --> 01:24:02,360 l put a lot of fucking effort into this costume alright? 1261 01:24:02,360 --> 01:24:04,360 Six weeks! 1262 01:24:04,360 --> 01:24:07,360 Lot of effort? Six weeks? Mate 1263 01:24:07,360 --> 01:24:09,360 Look at the tag hanging off 1264 01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:11,360 Don't worry about the tag 1265 01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:13,360 l put that tag on there 1266 01:24:13,360 --> 01:24:16,318 Yeah you put Quest Hotels on there 1267 01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:21,360 Ben Kenobi's on a quest 1268 01:24:21,360 --> 01:24:24,360 And he chooses to stay at Quest Hotels 1269 01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:28,319 When he's in Tatooine 1270 01:24:44,360 --> 01:24:47,318 Who went to Cra~zy Clarks today? 1271 01:24:54,360 --> 01:24:56,360 Party! 1272 01:24:56,360 --> 01:25:00,360 On the Death Star on the Death Star 1273 01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:07,360 Use the force Luke use the force Luke use the use the use the force Luke 1274 01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:08,360 That looks great 1275 01:25:08,360 --> 01:25:09,360 Look it changes colours 1276 01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:12,360 lt's awesome 1277 01:25:12,360 --> 01:25:16,319 Can you pick us up on the DVD? Yes? 1278 01:25:29,360 --> 01:25:31,360 What did you write? 1279 01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:33,360 l wrote Darth 1280 01:25:33,360 --> 01:25:35,360 What did you write? 1281 01:25:35,360 --> 01:25:36,360 ls a tosser 1282 01:25:36,360 --> 01:25:37,360 What the? 1283 01:25:37,360 --> 01:25:39,316 Exclamation 1284 01:25:54,360 --> 01:25:57,318 Run Shane run 1285 01:26:06,360 --> 01:26:08,360 What's that? My intitials 1286 01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:10,316 Yeah have a look 1287 01:26:13,360 --> 01:26:14,360 Just give me twenty cents 1288 01:26:14,360 --> 01:26:15,360 No 1289 01:26:15,360 --> 01:26:17,316 Twenty Cents 1290 01:26:23,360 --> 01:26:26,318 l'm gonna get that twenty cents 1291 01:26:55,360 --> 01:26:58,360 You sound like Mickey Mouse 1292 01:26:58,360 --> 01:27:00,360 l was going for Bruce Lee 1293 01:27:00,360 --> 01:27:04,360 Well you got to sound more like a chicken 1294 01:27:04,360 --> 01:27:05,360 l'll get ya 1295 01:27:05,360 --> 01:27:07,360 That's still Mickey Mouse 1296 01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:09,360 l'll cut ya with my ears 1297 01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:11,316 l'll cut ya 1298 01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:16,360 You see 1299 01:27:16,360 --> 01:27:19,360 Ow my eye! 1300 01:27:19,360 --> 01:27:21,360 Just step up like a man 1301 01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:24,360 Just step up and we'll talk about it 1302 01:27:24,360 --> 01:27:27,360 l'm not a man l'm a mouse 1303 01:27:27,360 --> 01:27:30,360 Step up here like a 1304 01:27:30,360 --> 01:27:33,360 There's a hole down here 1305 01:27:33,360 --> 01:27:36,360 That's right Mickey 1306 01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:38,360 Now Mickey 1307 01:27:38,360 --> 01:27:41,360 Are you going to give me twenty cents? 1308 01:27:41,360 --> 01:27:42,315 No 1309 01:27:47,360 --> 01:27:51,360 No l might slip and fall 1310 01:27:51,360 --> 01:27:54,318 Yeah that's what l'm talking about 1311 01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:12,316 lt's dust 1312 01:28:21,360 --> 01:28:25,360 l didn't understand a fucking word you said over 1313 01:28:25,360 --> 01:28:28,318 Gibberish Gibberish Gibberish over 1314 01:28:29,360 --> 01:28:30,315 Roger 1315 01:28:46,360 --> 01:28:49,318 This is Houston control 1316 01:28:51,360 --> 01:28:53,360 Are you there Major Dave? 1317 01:28:53,360 --> 01:28:55,360 Roger Houston 1318 01:28:55,360 --> 01:28:58,360 l'm here Houston 1319 01:28:58,360 --> 01:29:02,360 What part of Mississippi are you from Major Dave? 1320 01:29:02,360 --> 01:29:04,360 The south part. 1321 01:29:04,360 --> 01:29:07,360 That's about as far south as l can imagine 1322 01:29:07,360 --> 01:29:10,360 Sorry Houston l started with this voice 1323 01:29:10,360 --> 01:29:14,360 Now l'm just going to have to keep on at it 1324 01:29:14,360 --> 01:29:19,360 And that's how the great nation of America was born 1325 01:29:19,360 --> 01:29:22,360 OK Major Dave prepare for countdown 1326 01:29:22,360 --> 01:29:24,316 Roger Houston 1327 01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:28,316 Ten 1328 01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:31,316 Nine 1329 01:29:34,360 --> 01:29:36,360 Eight 1330 01:29:36,360 --> 01:29:38,316 Seven 1331 01:29:43,360 --> 01:29:45,360 Six 1332 01:29:45,360 --> 01:29:48,360 You forgot Six 1333 01:29:48,360 --> 01:29:49,360 l'm alright 1334 01:29:49,360 --> 01:29:50,360 What? 1335 01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:53,360 Where am l now? 1336 01:29:53,360 --> 01:29:57,360 l can't understand what you're saying Major Dave 1337 01:29:57,360 --> 01:30:03,360 l think this guy is two physics degrees short of a fuckwit 1338 01:30:03,360 --> 01:30:05,360 Major Dave do you read? Do you read? 1339 01:30:05,360 --> 01:30:07,360 Oh course l fucking read! 1340 01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:09,360 How do you think l got this job? 1341 01:30:09,360 --> 01:30:12,360 l didn't mean that Do the countdown 1342 01:30:12,360 --> 01:30:17,360 One more of them and l'm out of here Houston 1343 01:30:17,360 --> 01:30:18,360 Ten 1344 01:30:18,360 --> 01:30:20,360 Oh my God 1345 01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:22,360 Just go from Five 1346 01:30:22,360 --> 01:30:24,360 Five 1347 01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:26,316 Four 1348 01:30:27,360 --> 01:30:29,316 Three 1349 01:30:30,360 --> 01:30:32,360 Just give me twenty cents 1350 01:30:32,360 --> 01:30:34,316 Blastoff! 1351 01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:45,360 This is Houston Control 1352 01:30:45,360 --> 01:30:48,360 You will experience G forces 1353 01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:50,316 No shit Houston 1354 01:31:21,360 --> 01:31:24,318 You there Houston? 1355 01:31:25,360 --> 01:31:26,360 Houston!? 1356 01:31:26,360 --> 01:31:28,360 l'm there Major Dave 1357 01:31:28,360 --> 01:31:33,360 Please don't make me say more words than l absolutely have to 1358 01:31:33,360 --> 01:31:37,360 Because this voice is really hurting me 1359 01:31:37,360 --> 01:31:40,360 l think l taste blood Houston 1360 01:31:40,360 --> 01:31:44,360 You think it's painful from your end? 1361 01:31:44,360 --> 01:31:49,309 l think you've just called 16 galaxies to war 1362 01:31:50,360 --> 01:31:51,360 OK Major Dave 1363 01:31:51,360 --> 01:31:53,360 l'm going to have to talk you through this 1364 01:31:53,360 --> 01:31:55,360 You're in the module section 1365 01:31:55,360 --> 01:31:57,360 You're going to be landing on the moon 1366 01:31:57,360 --> 01:31:59,360 So press that big red button 1367 01:31:59,360 --> 01:32:01,360 And you will eject the module section 1368 01:32:01,360 --> 01:32:04,318 Pressing big red button Houston 1369 01:32:07,360 --> 01:32:09,360 Well done Major Dave 1370 01:32:09,360 --> 01:32:12,318 l can press buttons Houston 1371 01:32:13,360 --> 01:32:16,360 OK the lunar surface is coming up pretty fast 1372 01:32:16,360 --> 01:32:17,360 Could be a rough one 1373 01:32:17,360 --> 01:32:18,360 Prepare for landing Major Dave 1374 01:32:18,360 --> 01:32:20,360 Oh no not a rough one Houston 1375 01:32:20,360 --> 01:32:22,360 l'm not ready for a rough one 1376 01:32:22,360 --> 01:32:23,360 l don't know what you just said 1377 01:32:23,360 --> 01:32:25,360 But let's hope it means affirmative 1378 01:32:25,360 --> 01:32:27,360 l want someone else to do it Houston 1379 01:32:27,360 --> 01:32:31,319 OK the Lunar surface is coming up prepare for landing 1380 01:32:33,360 --> 01:32:35,316 Ow my back! 1381 01:32:36,360 --> 01:32:38,316 Ow my spleen! 1382 01:32:40,360 --> 01:32:42,316 Ow my nose 1383 01:32:45,360 --> 01:32:48,318 The asshole has landed 1384 01:32:58,360 --> 01:33:00,316 No Houston l can't- 1385 01:33:43,360 --> 01:33:48,360 This is ground control to Major Dave 1386 01:33:48,360 --> 01:33:53,360 How's it looking up there on the moon? 1387 01:33:53,360 --> 01:33:57,319 Well you know Houston it looks pretty cool 1388 01:34:07,360 --> 01:34:11,319 l think l just burst one of my own eardrums 1389 01:34:14,360 --> 01:34:15,360 Major Dave 1390 01:34:15,360 --> 01:34:16,315 Yes Houston? 1391 01:34:18,360 --> 01:34:21,360 How's it looking up there on the moon? 1392 01:34:21,360 --> 01:34:25,360 Well Houston when l look up into the stars 1393 01:34:25,360 --> 01:34:30,360 Why it's like a billion eyes staring down at me 1394 01:34:30,360 --> 01:34:31,360 A billion eyes? 1395 01:34:31,360 --> 01:34:33,360 Billion eyes 1396 01:34:33,360 --> 01:34:35,360 A billion eyes staring down at you? 1397 01:34:35,360 --> 01:34:37,360 Staring at me 1398 01:34:37,360 --> 01:34:41,360 l think your oxygen level is a little too low there Major Dave 1399 01:34:41,360 --> 01:34:43,316 You better turn that up 1400 01:34:57,360 --> 01:34:59,360 Major Dave 1401 01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:02,360 Hey Houston 1402 01:35:02,360 --> 01:35:05,360 l'm on the moon! 1403 01:35:05,360 --> 01:35:08,318 Major Dave is on the moon 1404 01:35:12,360 --> 01:35:14,316 Major Dave 1405 01:35:59,360 --> 01:36:01,360 Hey Houston 1406 01:36:01,360 --> 01:36:06,360 l think l see the earth out on the hori~zon 1407 01:36:06,360 --> 01:36:10,360 Now l see some kind of object 1408 01:36:10,360 --> 01:36:13,318 l'm gonna check it out 1409 01:36:17,360 --> 01:36:20,318 l'm getting closer to it Houston 1410 01:36:22,360 --> 01:36:25,318 And l'm getting closer to it Houston 1411 01:36:30,360 --> 01:36:35,309 Houston l have identified the object in question 1412 01:36:39,360 --> 01:36:41,360 And Houston 1413 01:36:41,360 --> 01:36:46,309 l am getting the fuck out of here oh my God 1414 01:37:06,360 --> 01:37:09,360 Computer l am approaching the pod 1415 01:37:09,360 --> 01:37:12,360 Please open pod bay doors 1416 01:37:12,360 --> 01:37:16,319 l'm sorry Dave l'm afraid l can't do that 1417 01:37:40,360 --> 01:37:43,318 What the hell is that? 1418 01:37:53,360 --> 01:37:55,360 Who are you? 1419 01:37:55,360 --> 01:37:57,316 On screen 1420 01:37:59,360 --> 01:38:02,318 Just give me twenty cents 1421 01:38:12,360 --> 01:38:17,309 Houston l am out of my ship repeat l am out of my ship 1422 01:38:40,360 --> 01:38:42,316 Asteroid! 1423 01:38:44,360 --> 01:38:50,310 Oh no we're going to go through the earth's atmosphere! 1424 01:38:51,360 --> 01:38:53,360 What do we do what do we do? 1425 01:38:53,360 --> 01:38:54,360 l know 1426 01:38:54,360 --> 01:38:58,319 Grab as many birds as you can 1427 01:39:00,360 --> 01:39:01,360 Doesn't work 1428 01:39:01,360 --> 01:39:03,360 Screw you birds! 1429 01:39:03,360 --> 01:39:05,360 We're gonna die we're gonna die 1430 01:39:05,360 --> 01:39:06,360 lf we're gonna die 1431 01:39:06,360 --> 01:39:09,318 We may as well die extreme! 1432 01:39:34,360 --> 01:39:37,360 l think l'm going to spew 1433 01:39:37,360 --> 01:39:41,360 l'm reconsidering that Red Bull before the show 1434 01:39:41,360 --> 01:39:42,360 l know 1435 01:39:42,360 --> 01:39:46,319 Grab on to the edge of that building 1436 01:39:57,360 --> 01:39:59,360 Can't hold on much longer 1437 01:39:59,360 --> 01:40:00,360 Neither can l 1438 01:40:00,360 --> 01:40:04,360 if only you'd perfected those suction boots you were working on last weekend 1439 01:40:04,360 --> 01:40:07,360 Of course! My prototype suction boots 1440 01:40:07,360 --> 01:40:11,360 l just happen to be wearing them 1441 01:40:11,360 --> 01:40:14,360 Testing suction boot number one 1442 01:40:14,360 --> 01:40:17,360 Yeah that sucks OK 1443 01:40:17,360 --> 01:40:19,360 Number two 1444 01:40:19,360 --> 01:40:21,360 Yeah that totally sucks 1445 01:40:21,360 --> 01:40:24,318 Alright l'm going to let go 1446 01:40:26,360 --> 01:40:28,316 Come on abs 1447 01:40:33,360 --> 01:40:37,360 This must look ama~zing 1448 01:40:37,360 --> 01:40:38,360 You know 1449 01:40:38,360 --> 01:40:44,310 l wonder what this would look like from another perspective 1450 01:41:03,360 --> 01:41:07,360 l guess we'll never know 1451 01:41:07,360 --> 01:41:09,360 What are you doing? 1452 01:41:09,360 --> 01:41:10,360 l don't know 1453 01:41:10,360 --> 01:41:13,360 My boots don't suck that much 1454 01:41:13,360 --> 01:41:14,360 That's better 1455 01:41:14,360 --> 01:41:16,316 Not better 1456 01:41:19,360 --> 01:41:20,360 Listen Shane 1457 01:41:20,360 --> 01:41:21,360 Yes Dave 1458 01:41:21,360 --> 01:41:23,360 l'm really sorry about Andrew 1459 01:41:23,360 --> 01:41:24,360 You're really sorry? 1460 01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:25,360 Really sorry 1461 01:41:25,360 --> 01:41:27,360 Then l guess l don't need that twenty cents 1462 01:41:27,360 --> 01:41:27,760 Oh great 1463 01:41:27,760 --> 01:41:28,360 Oh no 1464 01:41:28,360 --> 01:41:31,360 The ledge it's starting to give way! 1465 01:41:31,360 --> 01:41:33,360 There's only one option 1466 01:41:33,360 --> 01:41:34,360 What's that? 1467 01:41:34,360 --> 01:41:37,360 l'm going to sacrifice myself to save you 1468 01:41:37,360 --> 01:41:38,360 Good idea 1469 01:41:38,360 --> 01:41:39,360 Me too 1470 01:41:39,360 --> 01:41:41,316 Me first 1471 01:41:44,360 --> 01:41:46,316 Stop! 1472 01:41:48,360 --> 01:41:50,360 l'm afraid you're too late 1473 01:41:50,360 --> 01:41:53,360 The booking has been filled 1474 01:41:53,360 --> 01:41:55,316 By who? 1475 01:41:58,360 --> 01:42:01,360 l made it quite clear 1476 01:42:01,360 --> 01:42:05,319 There can be only one 1477 01:42:07,360 --> 01:42:11,319 Not this time 1478 01:42:29,360 --> 01:42:35,360 You have been watching in the role of Dave Dave 1479 01:42:35,360 --> 01:42:40,309 ln the role of Shane Shane 1480 01:42:41,360 --> 01:42:49,360 Playing the role of Andrew the cricket two time Academy Award winner Daniel Day Lewis 1481 01:42:49,360 --> 01:42:53,360 And in the role of me me 1482 01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:58,309 Thanks very much for coming we'll see you next time bye 1483 01:43:03,360 --> 01:43:05,360 And now 1484 01:43:05,360 --> 01:43:09,319 The song that was cut from tonights show 1485 01:43:12,360 --> 01:43:14,316 Andrew! 1486 01:43:21,360 --> 01:43:25,360 He was just my little friend Andrew 1487 01:43:25,360 --> 01:43:27,360 He's not singing is he? 1488 01:43:27,360 --> 01:43:30,360 No bigger than a pen Andrew 1489 01:43:30,360 --> 01:43:33,360 l think he's singing l'll go check 1490 01:43:33,360 --> 01:43:34,360 For he and l 1491 01:43:34,360 --> 01:43:35,360 Yeah he's singing 1492 01:43:35,360 --> 01:43:37,360 Would spend the days the days go by 1493 01:43:37,360 --> 01:43:38,360 lt's definitely singing 1494 01:43:38,360 --> 01:43:39,360 Andrew and l 1495 01:43:39,360 --> 01:43:41,360 l can hear him l can see him 1496 01:43:41,360 --> 01:43:42,360 And Andrew and l 1497 01:43:42,360 --> 01:43:44,360 He even looks like he's singing 1498 01:43:44,360 --> 01:43:45,360 And Andrew and l 1499 01:43:45,360 --> 01:43:46,360 Shane could you not- 1500 01:43:46,360 --> 01:43:47,360 And Andrew and l 1501 01:43:47,360 --> 01:43:49,360 We talked about this 1502 01:43:49,360 --> 01:43:53,319 And Andrew and l and Andrew 1503 01:44:01,360 --> 01:44:06,360 We talked about this we said we're not going to put a song in the show tonight 1504 01:44:06,360 --> 01:44:07,360 But l'm in position to do a song 1505 01:44:07,360 --> 01:44:09,360 l know you are sorry next show 1506 01:44:09,360 --> 01:44:12,360 l'll look like a dickhead if l don't do a song now 1507 01:44:12,360 --> 01:44:13,360 Mate too late mate 1508 01:44:13,360 --> 01:44:15,360 We'll put a song in the next show 1509 01:44:15,360 --> 01:44:17,360 We'll just do a whole musical next show how about that? 1510 01:44:17,360 --> 01:44:19,360 But l thought l could just do one song 1511 01:44:19,360 --> 01:44:20,360 No song we talked about it 1512 01:44:20,360 --> 01:44:21,360 You always get to do a song 1513 01:44:21,360 --> 01:44:22,360 We said we're not gonna do a song 1514 01:44:22,360 --> 01:44:23,360 Just for these guys 1515 01:44:23,360 --> 01:44:24,360 They don't want a song 1516 01:44:24,360 --> 01:44:25,360 Yes one song 1517 01:44:25,360 --> 01:44:29,360 No believe me you don't 1518 01:44:29,360 --> 01:44:31,360 One song yes 1519 01:44:31,360 --> 01:44:34,360 No we're not gonna put a song in the show tonight 1520 01:44:34,360 --> 01:44:39,360 We're not gonna put a song in the show tonight 1521 01:44:39,360 --> 01:44:40,360 Say what? 1522 01:44:40,360 --> 01:44:44,360 l said we're not gonna put a song in the show tonight 1523 01:44:44,360 --> 01:44:45,360 Hey is that right? 1524 01:44:45,360 --> 01:44:46,360 Yeah that's right 1525 01:44:46,360 --> 01:44:52,160 So we're not gonna put a song 1526 01:44:52,160 --> 01:44:57,760 So don't you try to clap along 1527 01:44:57,760 --> 01:45:00,760 We're not gonna put a song in the show 1528 01:45:00,760 --> 01:45:03,718 Tonight 1529 01:45:09,160 --> 01:45:10,360 Tonight 1530 01:45:10,360 --> 01:45:12,360 And pyros go 1531 01:45:12,360 --> 01:45:14,316 Oh for f- 93649

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