Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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Yeah The Brothers
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The Umbies
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Yeah The Umbi Wumbies
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Yeah! Woo!
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Where the bloody hell are they?
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l think they're in Japan
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What?
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Japan
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You're joking
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Give me the phone give me the phone
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Where's the number where's the number?
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Excuse me
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One second
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Excuse me
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l'm nearly finished
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You forgot the country code
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Oh for -
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There we go
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OK there's the second page
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Oh for -
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ls that a three or a five?
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Seven
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Thank you
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Hello?
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ls this one of the Umbilical Brothers?
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Yes
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Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?
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l am somewhere
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What?
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l'm in Japan
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No somewhere else
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How could l be somewhere else l'm here
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Subiaco
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Subiaco oh bullshit l'll be right over
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Dave
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Yeah
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Subiaco
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Bullshit l'll meet you at the elevators
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Come on let's go let's go
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Wait l've got to check out
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Quickly quickly
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Excuse me sir did you use anything from the mini
bar?
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''Yes l had a can of Coke, a packet of Pringles''
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And some edible panties
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What are you doing with edible panties?
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Everyone's wearing them in Japan
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Check these out
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Actually they look pretty good but we haven't got
time for that now!
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Wait for me
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Pull your pants up you'll run quicker
53
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Oh yeah
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Taxi
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Airport
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When's the next plane leaving for Australia?
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Next plane for Australia is leaving in ten seconds
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Let's go
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Wait wait you must undergo security check
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We haven't got time for that now
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Oh OK maybe next time have a nice flight
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There's the plane
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Quickly jump
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Good evening everybody
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My name is Bob l'm your captain
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And l'm an Aussie just like you guys
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We're flying on flight 623 direct to Guatemala
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Oops
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There we go flight 326 direct to Perth
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Oh we're nearly there and hey look below us
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There's Subiaco
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Jump
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Grab on to the edge of that building
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Can't hold on much longer
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Neither can l
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My leg
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My baby
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Oh my God they're dead
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Welcome
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Hello
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Do you know who l am?
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Reckon l've got a pretty good idea
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Just a second
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What were you going to say?
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lt can't be Barry White
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Are you Barry white?
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No l'm God
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Close enough
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Do you know where you are?
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Well if you're God
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Sorry just a second
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What were you going to say?
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Up the stairs
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On the top floor?
95
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Not on the top floor
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On the roof?
97
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Not the roof the gates
98
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Bill Gates?
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Not Bill Gates
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Do you think it's Bill Gates?
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No
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Yes No
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Devon
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Heaven
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Not quite
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Look l have something very important to tell you-
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Hang on
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How do we know you are God
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Oh God if that is indeed your real name
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That's a very good point Shane
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There are plenty of Gods aren't there?
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ln lndia alone there's at least a couple
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How do we know that you are THE
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Oh yeah you see you could be Darth Vader
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You might not be God
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You could be any one of any number of unlicenced
users of The Force
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Do something God like
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You know something God-ish
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God-esque you know
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Do something ama~zing God
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Do something that's really going to im-
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press me come on
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Did l just
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You got my vote God
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Now to the important stuff
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l must tell you that
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Actually sorry just before we do oh impotent one
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l had a lucky pair of socks
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And l lost one in Poland a few weeks back
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You're going to ask God about socks?
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l'm going to ask God about lucky socks
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God doesn't care about socks
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What do you mean?
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God cares about everything
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That's a little question
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You got to ask God the big questions
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Like what
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Like l don't know
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God
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Why?
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l don't do rhetorical
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Terry does
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Who's Terry?
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OK l've got a big one
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l mean that's the question actually
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lt's my
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l wanted to know
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l don't want to know if it's enormous
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l don't care about that stuff
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l just want to know if it's in the average range
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The biggest
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The biggest?
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He said the biggest right?
154
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You mean l've got the biggest in the world?
155
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Suck it! l've got the biggest in the world
156
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No you misunderstand me
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You ARE the biggest in the world
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God sees all apparently
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Enough of the miniscule questions God
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Back to the important stuff
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God how are we doing down here?
162
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To answer that we must go back to the beginning
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Your Universe
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Or Dorothy as l like to call it
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Was born in 1965
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Before that there was nothing
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Are you sure you've got your facts right God?
168
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lt's all right here in Wikipedia
169
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lt's all about the bo~zons apparently
170
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God l don't mean how are we as a universe doing
171
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l mean the two of us how are we doing?
172
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Well
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Some comics die on stage
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You died before the show even started
175
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How do you think you're doing?
176
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A bit shit l guess
177
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Could you at least give me a state of Poland
178
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Where the sock might be l could call the hotel they
have lost and found
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Forget the sock
180
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lt's embarrassing
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lt's not embarrassing
182
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We'll get you some more socks
183
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That colour burgundy?
184
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We'll find you a burgundy sheep
185
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l have never seen that colour burgundy in sheep
before
186
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Don't worry about it mate
187
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And the fluffiness?
188
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You can not get that kind of fluffiness anymore
189
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You can get the fluffiness
190
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Look we don't have time for this
191
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THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
192
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One sock? Oh for fucks sake
193
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We got to have two socks we got two feet you
should know you made us
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l'm sorry there's nothing l can do
195
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We only have one booking
196
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Only one of you will pass on to the other side
197
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:06,309
And what happens to the other one?
198
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,360
Sorry l just remembered one of Terry's jokes
199
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,360
Who is this Terry character?
200
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,360
God is there a waiting list for the other side?
201
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We tell people there is
202
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Look l really like your stuff
203
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l just don't think l could watch it forever
204
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So we can only take one of you
205
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What happens to the peope who don't necessarily
believe in God?
206
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The people who don't necessarily
207
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Hello?
208
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Sorry l was on another call
209
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Right who's coming?
210
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,360
l thought you made that decision
211
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,360
Look l just do the admin
212
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,360
You must decide
213
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:12,319
Now who's it going to be
214
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Jesus
215
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Yes?
216
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,360
He's not talking to you
217
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,360
Back in your box Baby J
218
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OK this is a huge decision
219
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Big one yeah
220
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Enormous this is the biggest decision we've ever
made
221
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,360
Quite possibly
222
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,360
We've got to talk about this man
223
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Let's see we'll put the points for
224
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,360
And the points against
225
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,360
We could do a Powerpoint demostration
226
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,360
We could point at each other all day
227
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,360
But basically l should go
228
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,360
Why should you go?
229
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Because l'm the one with respect for God
230
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You don't even believe in God
231
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Doesn't mean l don't respect him
232
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You were saying last week that you don't believe in
God
233
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Yeah well l do now don't l?
234
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,360
How convenient
235
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,360
Convenient or not l believe
236
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,360
You can't just change your mind
237
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:56,360
You can change your mind
238
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:56,760
You cannot just change your mind
239
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:57,360
You can that's exactly
240
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,360
Excuse me
241
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,360
Hey we're talking here alright?
242
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,360
You say you've got respect for God
243
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:05,360
Yes
244
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,360
No mate
245
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,360
You just interrupted him
246
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,360
You don't go interrupting somebody
247
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,360
lf you'd just listen
248
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,360
What are you deaf?
249
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,360
You just did it
250
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,360
l was just showing you what not to do
251
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God's not going to fall for that
252
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,360
l don't want God to fall for anything
253
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Obviously it's a high place
254
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,360
Exactly now listen to
255
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l'm the one who should be going
256
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,360
Just be reasonable
257
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,360
l'm sure we could just
258
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Shut the fuck up
259
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Right
260
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l'm sending you back to sort out your differences
261
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,360
And you dead is no good to these people
262
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They've come to see a show
263
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l would suggest you develop some compassion
264
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And remember
265
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THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
266
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Listen l'd wash my hands first before l put my
hands there
267
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Whoa
268
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,316
Yeah
269
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Are you talkin to me?
270
00:17:56,360 --> 00:18:00,360
No one has one of those things in their bathroom
271
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,360
Who has one of those things in their bathroom?
272
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,360
Me
273
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,360
Does anyone here
274
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,360
That's like a 20's Barbershop thing
275
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,360
Yeah
276
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,360
What are you Sweeny Todd or something?
277
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,360
l could be
278
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,360
What's in the basement?
279
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,360
Do you want to find out?
280
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,360
No l don't
281
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,360
OK
282
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,360
Alright
283
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,360
Why have you got
284
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,360
Does anyone here have one of
285
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:28,360
Mate l've got one of them because l've got one of
these
286
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,360
Why have you got one of those?
287
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:34,360
Because l've got one of them
288
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,360
OK then
289
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,360
And l'm sorry l walked into your bathroom
290
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Yeah right
291
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:45,360
l walked through your wall actually
292
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,318
l'm like an X-Man
293
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,315
God
294
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,360
Hello Professor X
295
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,315
Hello
296
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,360
What happened?
297
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,360
l've just got to focus. Concentrate
298
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,316
There we go
299
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,360
l can see-
300
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,360
Sorry. Carry on carry on
301
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,360
You said you were going to-
302
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:20,360
l won't bother you no more don't you worry about
that
303
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,360
l should have known
304
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:26,360
You said you were going to behave because of the
filming
305
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,360
l am behaving
306
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,360
You know that's a door
307
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,360
What?
308
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,360
lt's a door
309
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,316
Oh hello
310
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,316
With a light
311
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,360
lt's a lot more fun just going
312
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,360
Well you can do that as well because there's a
313
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:46,360
Hello
314
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:47,360
Oh hello
315
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,360
Watch it
316
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:51,360
And there's one down there
317
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:54,360
What's that for?
318
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,360
Oh my f-
319
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,316
ing balls
320
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:03,360
l just said oh my fucking balls
321
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,360
Just in case anyone was
322
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,360
Wondering what l might of-
323
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,318
lt's not a kids show
324
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,360
Not anym-
325
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:17,360
And kids just don't say those words
326
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,360
l you are just go
327
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,360
Oh my f-
328
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,360
ing balls
329
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:26,360
You could do that it's fine
330
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:31,360
l just punched you and this was in my hand
331
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,360
Oh my-
332
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:36,319
They're on the ground now
333
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:49,360
lt's filling up with penis blood
334
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,315
Oh yuk
335
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,360
Oh man
336
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,360
Penis blood
337
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,360
l know
338
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,360
lf it wasn't a kids show before
339
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,360
Definitely not a kids show
340
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:03,360
lt's not no
341
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,360
OK
342
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:08,319
Oh God get it off me get it off me
343
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,316
(lt's on your ra~zor)
344
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,360
And it's on my ra~zor
345
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,360
There we go
346
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,360
lt's not a very sharp ra~zor is it?
347
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,360
l just sharpened it
348
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,360
OK it's a sharp ra~zor great
349
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,360
Oh you've got two of those
350
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,360
Why do you have two of those?
351
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:30,360
l've got two of everything
352
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:31,360
Yeah
353
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:38,311
Well l used to have two of everything until you cut
me in the balls
354
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,360
Actually l should be saying
355
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:52,360
l used to have two of everything until you cut me in
the balls
356
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:53,360
You mother
357
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,360
l tell you know
358
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,360
l'm not going to cope with that voice for the rest of
the show
359
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:02,360
Could you stitch them back on or something
360
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,360
OK Luckily l'm doing this in the dark
361
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,318
Staple gun no
362
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:14,360
Putting my balls on in the dark
363
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:18,360
That was the original line
364
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:22,360
This is so not what we set out to make
365
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:26,360
That's right its being filmed OK
366
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:30,360
Yeah it's sharp man alright it's sharp enough
367
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:36,360
lt just gets me back because l just had that where
the fuck am l expression
368
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,360
Yep it's sharp
369
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:38,360
lt's very sharp
370
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:41,318
Not sharp enough
371
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:49,360
You got two of those yeah of course
372
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,360
Why wouldn't you
373
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:53,360
Rub it in
374
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,360
OK
375
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,360
That's a very sharp ra~zor you got there
376
00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:58,360
lt is a very-
377
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,360
l'd be careful with that ra~zor of l were you
378
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,360
You be careful
379
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,360
l'll be careful you be careful
380
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,360
Let's all be careful then
381
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:08,360
Oh man l've done this a million times l know what
l'm doing
382
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:09,360
Just be careful
383
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,360
Yeah sure sure just just-
384
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:12,315
Don't
385
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:20,360
Careful
386
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:25,360
lf you laugh like that just when he's about to
387
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:29,319
Who knows what could happen
388
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,360
See that's the good-
389
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:42,360
When it's that sharp you can hear each individual
listen
390
00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:46,319
Wow that is very sharp
391
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:53,309
l warned you l warned you l said it'd be sharp
392
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:02,319
Where's the staple gun no no no
393
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,360
Oh man
394
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,360
Oh you've got a huge wad of toilet paper
395
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:14,360
Are you gonna have that on your face for the rest
of the show?
396
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,360
l'm pretty much going to have to yes
397
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:19,360
lt's not distracting is it?
398
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,360
That is really distracting
399
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,360
They're going to be looking at for the whole show
400
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,360
Just don't look at it
401
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:32,360
Yeah pretend it's not even there OK?
402
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:36,360
Just pretend it's not there don't look
403
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:40,360
Don't fuckin look at it mate!
404
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:46,310
ls there a problem is there a problem is there a
problem?
405
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:58,311
lf he could see you he'd beat the shit out of you
406
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,360
There's that expression again
407
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:06,360
That's the what the fuck am l doing expression
408
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:07,360
O~z~zy O~zborne
409
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:08,360
We met him
410
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,360
O~z~zy O~zborne
411
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,360
At the Royal Variety Performance
412
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,360
The same time we met the Queen and Prince
Philip
413
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,360
And then we met Sharon and O~z~zy O~zborne
414
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,360
And l got them confused
415
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,360
Because they're both the same height Sharon and
the Queen
416
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:27,360
They've got the same hair they dress the same
417
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:35,360
And then behind them is this guy going What The
Fuck Am l Doing?
418
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,316
lt's uncanny
419
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:41,360
So was that O~z~zy or the Duke?
420
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:44,360
That was both together morphed together
421
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:47,360
No O~z~zy is what the fuck am l doing?
422
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:50,360
And the Duke is what the fuck am l doing?
423
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:54,360
Where the fuck are we?
424
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:59,309
Very nice couple very nice couple
425
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:19,319
Are you talkin to me?
426
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:46,360
You're going to strangle yourself with the cord
427
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:50,319
lf you do that you'll strangle yourself
428
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:00,360
lt's a gun?
429
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,360
Batteries
430
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:06,360
You don't want to get your hairdryer confused with
a gun
431
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:09,318
What's it going to be?
432
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:13,315
Batteries
433
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:17,360
Yeah
434
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:23,360
l'll take your word for it that there are such things
cause l don't need any kind of-
435
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:29,310
You could do with an imaginary one though for your
imaginary hair
436
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:35,360
Oh come on it's not that funny is it?
437
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:40,360
We're all picturing what hair styles you have
438
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:45,309
What kind of hair style do l have now eh? That's
right
439
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:55,360
Two hairdryers?
440
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:56,360
Of course
441
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:59,318
l've got two of everything
442
00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:09,318
Are you talkin to me?
443
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:26,360
Two hair straighteners right
444
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,318
Niether of which work
445
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,318
Are you talkin to me?
446
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,360
You
447
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,316
Bastard
448
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,360
G'day
449
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:31,360
OK what do you want l've got a machine gun a
shot gun
450
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,318
Yeah Shot gun
451
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:42,309
Of course you've got two grenades in the bathroom
yeah
452
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,318
Grenade grenade grenade
453
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,360
What was that about?
454
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,360
What was what about?
455
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:20,360
Carrying the grenade like this
456
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,360
lt was live
457
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,360
lt was a live grenade
458
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,318
Thought it was a cat
459
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,318
Are you talkin to me?
460
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:13,911
Damn it's fine to be an American
461
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,360
Oh my God Oh my God
462
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,318
Morning Dave Dave?
463
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,360
Just let me out of the cupboard
464
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:30,840
Thanks
465
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:31,360
Shane
466
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:32,360
Good morning
467
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:33,840
l've been having those weird dreams again
468
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,360
Those weird dreams? Yeah
469
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:36,840
About the sandwiches? What?
470
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,360
They're pretty weird dreams the sandwiches with
legs
471
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:41,360
There's nothing weird about that
472
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,360
Oh yes there is
473
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:43,360
The weird dreams
474
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,360
What about the sandwiches dressed as penguins?
475
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:45,360
What?
476
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,360
The row of sandwiches dressed as penguins
477
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,360
And you're with them and you're going
478
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,360
No no no the nightmares
479
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,360
Oh about being an American
480
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:54,840
Yes
481
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,360
Mate don't worry you're not an American
482
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,360
Not even the Americans are having that dream any
more OK?
483
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,360
l think the pressure is getting to me
484
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:04,360
What pressure?
485
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,360
Job pressure
486
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,360
lt can't be job pressure
487
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,360
l'm a cop
488
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,360
You're in traffic
489
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:11,360
l'm a traffic cop
490
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:12,360
You're a parking inspector
491
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,360
l'm a parking inspector yeah
492
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,360
lt can't be job pressure
493
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,360
Listen mate you know what l think it is?
494
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:19,360
What's that?
495
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,360
l think it's something in your past
496
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,360
Really?
497
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,360
Yeah yeah usually when you're having weird
dreams like that
498
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,360
Usually what you're doing is suppressing
something from your past
499
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,360
You think so?
500
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,360
l know so
501
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,360
And l have a psychology degree
502
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:32,840
Really?
503
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,360
Yeah
504
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:34,360
Where is it?
505
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,760
There it is so yeah l know what l'm talking about
506
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:37,360
Alright
507
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,360
And l can help you identify that thing
508
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,360
And remove it from your life
509
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:43,360
OK let's do it
510
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,360
Alright l'm going to take you through some
regression therapy
511
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:46,840
OK
512
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,360
l'm going to take you back
513
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:48,840
OK
514
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:55,360
First of all what l want you to do is l want you to
relax
515
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,316
Too much
516
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,360
Too relaxed
517
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:05,360
Flipping fans l love them
518
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,360
That was ama~zing
519
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,360
l think l just broke my spine
520
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,360
Now just relax Dave and breath
521
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,360
Because if you don't you die
522
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:14,840
Alright now
523
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,360
l want you to travel back in your mind
524
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:18,760
OK
525
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,360
Should be a short trip
526
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,360
Now just think back
527
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,360
OK think back
528
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,360
Nothing nothing nothing
529
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,360
Keep going
530
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,360
Nothing nothing nothing
531
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:30,360
Keep going
532
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,360
Nothing nothing nothing
533
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,360
Hang on a second hang on a second
534
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,360
What? What?
535
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,360
Could have been something
536
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,360
Where? What?
537
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,360
Change direction go forward go forward
538
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,360
gnihton gnihton gnihton
539
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,360
Hang on a second
540
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:47,840
What?
541
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,360
Could have been something
542
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,360
Just go back slowly
543
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,360
N
544
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,360
o
545
00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,360
th
546
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:04,360
ing
547
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:05,360
N
548
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,360
o
549
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:19,840
Lebellagolafolafoo l shouldn't do a balle latex oh
space monkey aye aye aye aye oh say can you
see
550
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,360
ing
551
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,360
No-
552
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:31,360
Hang on a second Daaaaaaaaaaaaa
553
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,360
vid
554
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,360
Could have been something what was that about?
555
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,360
Actually Shane now that you mention it
556
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:45,360
l've never really been quite the same since the
incident
557
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,316
The incident?
558
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:55,360
Yeah l've never really been quite the same since
the incident
559
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,360
Sounds serious
560
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,360
lt is serious
561
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:58,360
Especially that bit
562
00:34:58,360 --> 00:34:59,360
That's the most serious bit
563
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,360
Woh well tell me about it mate
564
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,360
l'll tell you about it yes
565
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,360
Well it was back in 1989 it was a winters afternoon
566
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:12,360
l was alone with an orchestra at the time when l
came across four...
567
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,360
And that's the whole story
568
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:19,360
Sorry l wasn't paying attention what was that?
569
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,360
Well it was back in 1989 it was a winters afternoon
570
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,360
l was wearing a red dress at the time when l came
across...
571
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,360
And that's the whole story
572
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,360
What's the whole story?
573
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:35,360
You go over there the lights go out then you say
that's the whole story
574
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,360
Listen Shane the fact of the matter is l think l'm
losing my mind
575
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:43,319
Come on you're not losing your mind
576
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,360
lnsane going l think l'm
577
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,360
l think l'm going insane
578
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,360
Don't be ridiculous mate
579
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,360
l think l'm going insane
580
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,360
David that's just cra~zy talk
581
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,360
lt's cra~zy talk
582
00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,360
Come on
583
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,360
l don't mean it literally ya loony
584
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,360
Loony
585
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,840
No it's just a figure of speech ya fuckin weirdo
586
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:07,360
OK
587
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:08,360
You know what your problem is Dave?
588
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,360
What's that?
589
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:15,360
Your problemo is that you've been cooped up in
this imaginary house for way too long
590
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,360
l do like my imaginary house
591
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,760
l like what you've imaginarily done with it
592
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:20,360
Thank you
593
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,360
l think it's imaginarily imaginative
594
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,360
Thank you for imaginarily saying so
595
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,360
You're imaginarily welcome
596
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,360
What's your favourite thing about it?
597
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:32,360
Well imaginarily speaking l like what you've done
with the bathroom
598
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,360
l don't know about the bits of cat everywhere
599
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:36,360
lt's a Polish technique
600
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,360
lt's a Polish technique OK
601
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:41,360
l like what you've done with the imaginary rugs
over there
602
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,360
Thank you l like the rugs Lithuanian
603
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,360
l like your imaginary curtains
604
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,360
l like what you've done with them
605
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,360
What curtains?
606
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,360
My fuckin imagination alright? Don't put anything in
607
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:56,360
Sorry couldn't resist a bit of inception every now
and then just happens
608
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,360
Listen mate you know what your problem is?
609
00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,360
What's my problem?
610
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,360
You need to go for a walk
611
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:00,760
What?
612
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:01,360
Get outside
613
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:02,360
Just go out you know?
614
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,360
You've been cooped up in here for too long
615
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,360
You need some exercise you know
616
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,360
You can't just stay inside all day
617
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,360
You know what l'm saying?
618
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:10,360
You got to go out you know?
619
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,360
You can't stay in the side you got to get some
exercise
620
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:14,360
You got to go out
621
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:15,360
You have to go out
622
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,360
You know you can't stay in here you have to get out
623
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,360
You have to go out more
624
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:20,360
You have to go out
625
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,360
You have to go out
626
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:22,315
You have to-
627
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,360
My upper body is getting way too heavy
628
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,360
You have to get out
629
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,360
You have to get out
630
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,360
Get out
631
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,360
Are you alright?
632
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,360
Yeah l'm fine l'm fine
633
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,360
You just got to go for a walk in the park
634
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,360
Actually that's a good idea l'll go for a walk in the
imaginary park
635
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:41,360
Yes why not
636
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,840
And listen when you're feeling the pressure get to
you
637
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:45,360
Yeah
638
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,360
Just stop and say to yourself
639
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,360
l am not cra~zy
640
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,360
l am not cra~zy
641
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,360
lt sounds so simple Shane
642
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,360
lt's as simple as you and l
643
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,840
That's pretty simple
644
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:58,360
lt certainly is
645
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,360
Now listen l've got to go l've got to meet Andrew
646
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,360
Who's Andrew?
647
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,360
He's just a subplot l've been working on
648
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:04,360
Good luck with that
649
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,360
You'll be fine mate there's nothing wrong with you
650
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,360
Thank you thanks for your concern
651
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:08,840
No worries
652
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:09,360
OK
653
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,360
Bye nutcase
654
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,360
See you what the?
655
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,315
He's probably right
656
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:20,309
l should go for a walk in the imaginary park
657
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,318
Hello little birdie
658
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:58,315
Fetch
659
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:07,315
Fetch
660
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:13,315
Fetch
661
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,315
Fetch
662
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:20,315
Fetch
663
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:33,360
l am not cra~zy
664
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,316
Am l?
665
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,318
Hello little birdie
666
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,318
Are you talkin to me?
667
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:08,315
Yeah
668
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,318
My precious
669
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,318
Are you talkin to me?
670
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:22,840
What the hell was that?
671
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,360
Just a little cricket
672
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,360
A little cricket? A little cricket?
673
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:26,360
Yeah
674
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:27,360
Andrew!
675
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,360
What?
676
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,360
This was the subplot l've been working on
677
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,360
Your subplots a cricket?
678
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:35,316
Why?
679
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,360
Quickly administer CPR
680
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,360
CPR CPR What's CPR?
681
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:49,360
Cricket To Person resuscitation don't you know
anything quickly
682
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:53,360
Yes yes yes
683
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,360
No no no
684
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,360
OK Andrew you'll be OK
685
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,360
Come on Andrew we're rooting for you mate
686
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:01,360
Dave Dave Dave
687
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,360
You can do it Andrew
688
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:02,840
David
689
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:03,360
l'm trying to help
690
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:04,360
Just give me some room OK?
691
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,360
Yeah sure OK
692
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:06,360
Come on Andrew
693
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,360
Dave just give me some room mate just give me
some room
694
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,360
We're here for you Andrew
695
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,360
David room give me some OK?
696
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:12,360
Breath Andrew
697
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,360
Give me some room Dave
698
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:15,360
Andrew
699
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,360
Dave room give me some
700
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:17,360
Give me an A
701
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,360
Give me some room Dave give me some room
702
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,360
Andrew
703
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,360
Yeah that's about right OK
704
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,360
Andrew l don't know what to do l don't know what
to do
705
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,319
l'll call an ambulance just hang on
706
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,360
There's a cliff down there for some reason
707
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,360
Shane?
708
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,360
Shane?
709
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,360
OK Andrew l've called the ambula-
710
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,360
What happened to Andrew?
711
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,360
What?
712
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,360
Where's Andrew?
713
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:50,840
Oh he's gone
714
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:51,360
He's gone?
715
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:51,840
Yeah he's gone?
716
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:52,360
He's OK?
717
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:53,360
Oh he is so fantastic
718
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:53,840
He's alright?
719
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:54,360
Yeah yeah he's great
720
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:55,360
Where did he go?
721
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,360
He went off back that way somewhere
722
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,360
He ran off and he said
723
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,360
He said thanks very much for saving his life
724
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,360
He said make sure you tell Shane
725
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:05,360
Thanks very much for saving his life
726
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:06,360
And then he had to go so l've got to go to
727
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:07,360
Why did he have to go?
728
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:07,760
Hey?
729
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,360
Well he was injured and everything why did he
have to go so suddenly?
730
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,360
He said he said he said l'll tell you what he said
731
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,360
l've got a very important engagement to get to and
so he ran off
732
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:16,840
What sort of engagement?
733
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:17,360
What?
734
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:18,360
What sort of engagement?
735
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,360
He said a very important engagement party
736
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:22,360
Who's getting engaged?
737
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:23,360
He is
738
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:24,360
What Andrew is getting engaged?
739
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:24,760
Yep
740
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:25,360
Andrew's getting engaged?
741
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,360
Yeah yeah he didn't tell you?
742
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:26,760
No
743
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:27,840
And you're meant to be a friend of his
744
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:28,360
Yes
745
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,360
What a dick l can't believe that
746
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:31,360
Anyway l've got to go too so l'll see you later on
747
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:32,360
Why do you have to go?
748
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,360
Man will you stop- l just- cause he said l've gotta
go
749
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:36,160
But you just met him
750
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:36,560
Yeah
751
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,360
And you're gonna go just because he said?
752
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:38,840
Mate Yes
753
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:39,360
Why?
754
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:39,840
You know why?
755
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:40,360
Why?
756
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:44,360
Because l'm getting engaged to him
757
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:44,840
What?
758
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:45,840
You and Andrew?
759
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:46,360
Yep
760
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:47,360
The two of you?
761
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:48,360
Yeah surprise!
762
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,360
Ha ha ha you didn't know but now you do it's so-
763
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:52,360
l'll see you bye
764
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,360
Andrew my love
765
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,316
Congratulations
766
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,319
Shit
767
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,360
Andrew and Dave
768
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:05,360
Dave and Andrew are gettin it on
769
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,360
Don't get me wrong it's awesome you know
770
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,760
l'm all for mixed relationships
771
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:12,360
l think they're fantastic
772
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,360
lt's just that they only just met
773
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:20,360
And usually it takes time for a guy and a cricket
774
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,960
To get to know each other
775
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,360
You know you got to talk about stuff
776
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:24,360
You got to go out
777
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,360
You gotta discover each others secret places
778
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:32,309
You know just find things you like to do-
779
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,316
What the?
780
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,319
lt's like a little pu~z~zle
781
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,360
Oh Jesus Fuck
782
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:04,360
Andrew! Oh my God
783
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,360
Andrew oh my God
784
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,360
You'll be fine you'll be fine mate you'll be fine
785
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:09,360
There's nothing wrong with you
786
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,360
lt's just a flesh wound Andrew
787
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:12,840
You'll be fine there's nothing wrong with you
788
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:16,840
l can't lie to you mate you look shithouse
789
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,360
Oh my God
790
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,360
You're alive you're still alive you're still alive OK
791
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,360
Just hang on Andrew just hang on
792
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,360
You'll be OK
793
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,360
Just tell me Andrew
794
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,760
Who did this?
795
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,840
David
796
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,360
l see
797
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,160
Well let me say this
798
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,760
This
799
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,360
And another thing
800
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,360
l swear to you Andrew
801
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:46,360
l swear that this act will not go unpunished
802
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,360
lt will not go unpunished and l will not let you down
803
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:52,360
l have never let you down and l will not let you
down now
804
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:53,360
l swear to you Andrew
805
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:58,360
l swear in front of these slightly confused people
here tonight
806
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,360
l swear to you Andrew
807
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,360
l swear that l shall avenge
808
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,316
Oh shit
809
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,760
Shane Shane
810
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:30,360
Clink
811
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:31,713
How are you man how you doing?
812
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:33,760
l haven't seen you in the gym before
813
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,200
l come here l like to work out before l go on the
beat
814
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,200
Go on the mean streets of Perth
815
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,200
Before l go to work so um
816
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,800
And l listen to the boogie music
817
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,200
That's my boogie music just there
818
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,360
lt gets the blood flowing all over the body
819
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:46,360
Do you know what l mean?
820
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,160
And what are you doing? What are you doing?
821
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:50,760
Man don't- Could you not do that please
822
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,360
lt's very hard to use the cassette
823
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,760
Once that's out of the little plastic enclosure
824
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,160
Shane could you not do that please
825
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:57,360
Why are you doing that?
826
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,360
No don't lick it
827
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,360
l can't use it if it's wet
828
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,360
Or out like that l'm need a pencil or something
829
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:04,360
Has anyone got a pencil?
830
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,360
What are you- Now it's dirty
831
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:10,319
You've put liquid on it and
832
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:20,360
Are you upset about something?
833
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,360
Your not still upset about the insect are you?
834
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:27,360
What was it the the cockroachy thing?
835
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:30,360
The um cricket right?
836
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:31,360
Agatha
837
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:32,360
No Artie
838
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:33,360
No Andy Andrew
839
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,360
Andrew? Was that it?
840
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,800
That's it? Seriously?
841
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,360
Man come one
842
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,360
Get over it mate
843
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:42,360
Get over it
844
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,360
l mean it was like
845
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,360
A minute ago
846
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,360
You know this is so-
847
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:50,840
This is wrong
848
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,360
You can't you shouldn't
849
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,360
You're not allowed to come in here and be upset
850
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,360
Why should you?
851
00:47:56,360 --> 00:48:00,360
lf anyone should be upset
852
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:05,160
lf anyone should be upset it should be me
853
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,360
lt should be me that's right
854
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,360
lt should be me because l'm the one
855
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,120
l was the one
856
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:18,360
That was engaged to him
857
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,760
Oh Andrew my love where will l find another?
858
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:27,709
Maybe in a field or something l don't know
859
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,716
That is bullshit
860
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,316
Easy easy
861
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:16,319
Come on yeah come on come on
862
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,360
This is for Andrew
863
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,316
No no no
864
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:46,319
Yeah come on l'll have you come on
865
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,316
One hand
866
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,310
No hands
867
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:22,319
lt's not over Dave it's not over
868
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:33,718
Limber
869
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,316
Limber
870
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,318
Sounded a bit like a fart didn't it?
871
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:10,360
No
872
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:11,760
lt's a ~zip right?
873
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,760
Yes it's a ~zip
874
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:14,715
No
875
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,360
You're quibbling about ~zip noises
876
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,360
Yeah watch
877
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,316
Big one
878
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,316
Medium si~ze
879
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:29,315
Small
880
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:32,315
Jesus
881
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,360
You people
882
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,360
What are you ~zip fetishists or something?
883
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:44,360
You guys are really into ~zips
884
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,316
Who isn't?
885
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:48,360
l don't know
886
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:52,360
OK yeah we get it ~zips
887
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,760
l didn't close that one
888
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:56,760
Oh come on that's enough
889
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,160
l'm just getting into work mode
890
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,160
You're a parking inspector
891
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:01,000
What are you wearing?
892
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:05,880
They don't have a parking inspector in the Village
People as far as l recall
893
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,160
l'm in work mode now that was my relax
894
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,310
When l come home l go
895
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,360
Flip flip flip flip
896
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,160
Now you're doing onomatapia
897
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:18,718
Flip flip flip
898
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:20,960
l thought you were going to ~zip
899
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,918
Remote control ~zipper
900
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,360
That's enough of the ~zips
901
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:31,240
We get it
902
00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:31,360
That's e-
903
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,160
Oh for fu-
904
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:35,160
l really don't want to
905
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:35,360
Do any
906
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:36,760
More ~zip-
907
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:37,760
Oh for God's
908
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:38,360
Sake
909
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:39,360
Stop it with the ~zip-
910
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,316
This is ridicu-
911
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:49,316
That must be a bitch to get out of
912
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:52,318
l did that for you
913
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,319
We should all go to the ~zipper club
914
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:17,360
Oh man
915
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:22,309
Never have so few been amused by so many ~zips
916
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:39,360
Having trouble with your bike?
917
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:42,360
Technical problems?
918
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:46,160
l'm having problems with you is who l'm having
problems with
919
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,360
Just reminding you that without me
920
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:52,318
You're just a mime
921
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,360
What does that make you without me?
922
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:08,319
Just a fart noise?
923
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,360
They're ~zippers right fetishists?
924
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:16,319
Not without me they're not
925
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:23,360
Was that a fart fetishist or a ~zipper fetishist?
926
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:24,360
OK so
927
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:25,360
Oh for fu-
928
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:26,360
Man seriously
929
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:27,360
So just do the sound of a motorbike?
930
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,360
Does anyone want to got to the bathroom?
931
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,360
Because now is a good time
932
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,360
l just might follow you and make the noise though
933
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,360
So just be careful
934
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:37,360
This is taking forever
935
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:40,318
This guy in the next cubicle
936
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:52,960
l can't believe l did that and we were filming the
show
937
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,918
That's not going on the DVD
938
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,360
You'll get the DVD and they'll be us
939
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:02,360
And then we'll-
940
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:05,760
Sharp edit
941
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,760
Completely different lighting state
942
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:10,360
OK ok
943
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:12,760
Can you do it because it's a lot harder
944
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,760
lt actually hurt to do it without the sound
945
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:16,760
lt's much harder
946
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:17,760
That's cause there's nothing there
947
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:18,715
Exactly
948
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,760
OK here we go
949
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:27,718
Transport is at the ready
950
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:34,760
Oh come
951
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:36,760
lf someone came into the room right now
952
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,760
And saw that
953
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,360
What do you think they'd think?
954
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:46,360
l'm riding a donkey NO NO NO
955
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:54,360
That's right children Dave is Riding the Donkey
956
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,360
So that's what they're calling it this year aye?
957
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,360
Riding a donkey?
958
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:02,760
l have the reins in one hand
959
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:06,719
The reins in one hand
960
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:13,760
That's really embarressing
961
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:14,360
And it's really
962
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:20,360
From this angle it looks even worse
963
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:24,360
That's what he's seeing
964
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:27,360
Don't point that thing at me
965
00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:28,360
Alright
966
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:33,309
lt's a trasformer donkey it'll turn into a motorbike
how's that?
967
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,318
lt can also turn into a chicken
968
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,360
What's that?
969
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,360
lt's my siren
970
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:54,360
Come on man
971
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:55,360
You're a parking inspector
972
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,360
l'm a very important parking inspector
973
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,360
You're a very deluded parking inspector
974
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:05,360
On a transforming donkey going
975
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:06,360
Come on give me a siren
976
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:07,360
Give you a siren
977
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:08,360
Give us a siren
978
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,316
Give us a siren OK
979
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:43,360
OK hang on a second
980
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:44,360
lt's OK they didn't laugh at it
981
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:48,360
Never mind the extra thumb
982
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:51,360
l did not see you put any gloves on
983
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:55,360
So you've just pulled the skin off your own hands
984
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:59,360
l put the gloves on before the show
985
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,360
l sleep in my gloves
986
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:04,360
You slept in your gloves?
987
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:07,360
You went to the toilet you had a shower in your
gloves
988
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:07,760
Yep
989
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,360
OK and the ~zippers...
990
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:12,960
l'm starting to get an idea of what kind of clubs you
go to
991
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,360
l've got gloves and l've got leg warmers on
992
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,360
Now l'm totally confused about the kind of clubs
you go to
993
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,360
What a feeling
994
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:23,318
l am slightly confused
995
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,316
Limber
996
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:46,116
Limber
997
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:50,316
Limber
998
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,316
Limber
999
01:00:58,360 --> 01:00:59,360
What are you doing?
1000
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:00,360
Directing traffic
1001
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,360
Mate you're a parking inspector
1002
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:03,360
Mate l've got a siren
1003
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:06,360
Alright for the sake of moving along
1004
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:08,360
You're a traffic policeman
1005
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:09,360
Traffic person
1006
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:11,316
Traffic policeman
1007
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,316
Seatbelt mate
1008
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,316
Pull over mate
1009
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:15,316
Pull over mate
1010
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:28,360
lt was a gun a second ago
1011
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:34,360
l got it confused with your hairdryer
1012
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:40,360
l would have taken the hairdryer out to get the-
1013
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:43,360
l'm gonna blow you away
1014
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:47,000
l could have melted the tires
1015
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,360
l know what you're thinkin
1016
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,318
Did he do six perms or only five?
1017
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,360
Hold it
1018
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,316
Rewind
1019
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:28,309
Let's see that last pass again in slow motion replay
1020
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,316
Limber
1021
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:14,760
Can l help you officer?
1022
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:16,318
Ow my eyes!
1023
01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:22,315
Hey Hey!
1024
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,360
Where'd you get that car Dave?
1025
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:27,316
That's not your car
1026
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,360
Dave listen l've got to talk to you about something
1027
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:33,316
lt's about Andrew
1028
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:36,360
lt's important
1029
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:37,315
Dave
1030
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:39,360
Yeah hi hi
1031
01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:41,360
Could you wind the window down
1032
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:44,360
l've got something to talk to you about
1033
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:46,316
Window down man
1034
01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:51,319
Window window. Wind the window down
1035
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:57,315
Jesus
1036
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,360
How do you drive with that that loud?
1037
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:03,316
lt calms me
1038
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,360
That calms you?
1039
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:07,315
Yeah yeah
1040
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:13,360
That couldn't possibly calm anyone
1041
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:15,316
That couldn't calm any-
1042
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:18,360
OK we get it
1043
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:19,360
Joke's over
1044
01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:21,360
At least give me a
1045
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:22,360
Chance to
1046
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:23,360
Catch my
1047
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:24,315
Breath
1048
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:45,360
And in other news Dave is a wanker
1049
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:47,316
And he can get
1050
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:50,360
Now listen Dave mate
1051
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:51,360
Yep
1052
01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,360
l've got something important to talk to you about
1053
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:54,360
Oh sure yeah all ears
1054
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:57,360
Now we've known each other for a long time
1055
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:00,318
This is about Andrew. l just thought
1056
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:04,360
Mate l'm collecting for his funeral
1057
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,318
l thought you could spare some cash
1058
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:11,318
Mate look just a dollar for a
1059
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:17,360
Dave look don't run away from your responsibilities
1060
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:19,360
l'm not l'm driving
1061
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:22,360
You were responsible for his injuries
1062
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,360
Look just give me a dollar man
1063
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:26,360
For a little casket
1064
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,360
Alright twenty cents
1065
01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:30,360
Come on you can spare twenty cents
1066
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,360
Twenty cents dude
1067
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:33,360
Come one
1068
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:35,316
That's not fair
1069
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:41,318
Come on man just give me twenty cents
1070
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:48,360
Dave just give me twenty cents
1071
01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:49,360
Come on
1072
01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:52,360
A little compassion
1073
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:54,360
Twenty centardos
1074
01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:55,360
Just give me twenty cents
1075
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:58,360
Twenty cents Dave just give me twenty cents
1076
01:06:58,360 --> 01:07:00,360
Give me twenty cents
1077
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,316
Give me twenty cents
1078
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:11,360
Twenty cents
1079
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:13,316
Twenty cents
1080
01:07:30,360 --> 01:07:32,316
Twenty cents
1081
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:44,309
lt's alright we've got plenty of them
1082
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:58,319
Just give me twenty cents
1083
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:25,316
Give me twenty cents
1084
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,318
Twenty fuckin cents
1085
01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:08,316
Now listen
1086
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:11,360
David
1087
01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:15,360
This has gone
1088
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,360
Beyond a joke
1089
01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:21,318
Yeah not sure about that
1090
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:26,360
All l want
1091
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:29,318
ls a little compassion
1092
01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:33,316
And twenty cents
1093
01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:32,315
Shane?
1094
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:37,318
Shane? Shane? Shane?
1095
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,316
Shane come on
1096
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:23,360
Shane
1097
01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:25,316
(Do CPR)
1098
01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:40,309
He's not a cricket is he?
1099
01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:47,316
Shane? Shane?
1100
01:11:52,360 --> 01:11:53,315
Shane?
1101
01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:56,315
Shane?
1102
01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:05,360
Shane?
1103
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:08,360
Shane are you OK?
1104
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:10,360
Shane are you OK?
1105
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:12,316
Nipple cripple! Nipple cripple!
1106
01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:37,360
How did you make your heart stop like that?
1107
01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:40,318
Shane! Shane! Shane!
1108
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:51,360
Ambulance? Yes yes Regal Theatre Subiaco yeah
that's right
1109
01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:53,316
OK quickly
1110
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:04,360
No! No! No!
1111
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:05,360
Oh for -
1112
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:09,360
there's a tire mark on him what are you doing?
1113
01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:13,360
No! Not a truck! No please!
1114
01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:16,318
He's already dead!
1115
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:24,310
No not a transforming donkey!
1116
01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:31,360
lt's a hover craft
1117
01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:33,360
A hover craft? No!
1118
01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:37,360
Oh my God oh God oh
1119
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:43,360
God if you're there please l need you
1120
01:13:43,360 --> 01:13:47,360
lt's an emergency God please it's David hello?
1121
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:48,360
Hello God here
1122
01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:50,360
God! lt's David from the beginning of the show
1123
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:53,360
Unfortunately l'm unavailable to answer the call
1124
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:55,360
but if you'd like to leave a message
1125
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:58,360
Please speak after the beep cherio
1126
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:02,319
God it's David from the beginning of the
1127
01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:10,360
God it's David from the beginning of the show
1128
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:15,360
l've got Shane and he's not working
1129
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:19,360
lt's an emergancy God if you're there could you
pick up?
1130
01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:20,315
Hello?
1131
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,360
ls that God?
1132
01:14:23,360 --> 01:14:26,360
No this is Terry
1133
01:14:26,360 --> 01:14:28,360
Oh Terry yes God mentioned you listen Terry
1134
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:30,360
ls God there?
1135
01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:33,360
Well that's the question isn't it?
1136
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:35,360
And the answer? Could you call for him or
something?
1137
01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:37,760
Hang on a moment. Just getting another call
1138
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:38,360
What?
1139
01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:39,360
l'll just put you on hold
1140
01:14:39,360 --> 01:14:41,360
No no don't put me on hold Terry it's an emergancy
1141
01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:44,360
Please God no Terry Terry call for God
1142
01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:48,360
Terry can you hear me? Terry!
1143
01:14:48,360 --> 01:14:52,319
Terry please it's an emergancy Terry please Terry
1144
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:11,316
Terry ah no
1145
01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:15,318
Look forget it l'll do it myself
1146
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:33,316
Give me twenty cents!
1147
01:15:47,360 --> 01:15:49,360
Come on baby
1148
01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:51,316
Bingo
1149
01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:54,316
Give me twenty
1150
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:19,316
Oh that's not fair that's not fair
1151
01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:25,360
Hey Dave Dave Dave Dave hold it there hold it
there
1152
01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:27,360
What are you doing?
1153
01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:29,316
What's that gonna
1154
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:34,316
A hair dryer!
1155
01:16:55,360 --> 01:17:00,360
Grab him grab him grab him grab him grab him
1156
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:02,316
Or just sit there!
1157
01:17:39,360 --> 01:17:43,319
Oh my God that was loud
1158
01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:53,360
Did you say something?
1159
01:17:53,360 --> 01:18:00,360
Hey Dave l think the music was too loud
1160
01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:03,360
What?
1161
01:18:03,360 --> 01:18:05,360
l can't hear you
1162
01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:09,360
The music was too loud
1163
01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,360
What?
1164
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,360
l can't hear what you're saying
1165
01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:17,318
l think the music was too loud
1166
01:18:20,360 --> 01:18:21,315
Loud!
1167
01:18:24,360 --> 01:18:25,315
What?
1168
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:30,360
l can't hear you
1169
01:18:30,360 --> 01:18:34,360
The music was too loud
1170
01:18:34,360 --> 01:18:36,360
l didn't like it
1171
01:18:36,360 --> 01:18:39,360
What the fuck is this?
1172
01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:41,360
What are you doing?
1173
01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:44,360
l can't hear what you're saying
1174
01:18:44,360 --> 01:18:46,360
The music was too loud
1175
01:18:46,360 --> 01:18:48,316
Too loud!
1176
01:18:50,360 --> 01:18:53,360
Loud! Loud! Loud!
1177
01:18:53,360 --> 01:18:54,360
What?
1178
01:18:54,360 --> 01:18:55,360
What?
1179
01:18:55,360 --> 01:18:56,360
l can't
1180
01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:59,360
Listen to me OK listen
1181
01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:01,360
Very carefully
1182
01:19:01,360 --> 01:19:05,360
l'm only going to say this one more time
1183
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:06,360
What?
1184
01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:09,360
Oh for fu-
1185
01:19:09,360 --> 01:19:14,360
l can't hear you
1186
01:19:14,360 --> 01:19:18,360
OK? Me l can't hear you
1187
01:19:18,360 --> 01:19:20,360
Because
1188
01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:23,360
The music
1189
01:19:23,360 --> 01:19:27,360
Was too
1190
01:19:27,360 --> 01:19:31,360
Fucking
1191
01:19:31,360 --> 01:19:34,318
Loud
1192
01:19:44,360 --> 01:19:46,316
What?
1193
01:19:49,360 --> 01:19:52,318
Oh no get off me get off me!
1194
01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:27,318
What is he chasing me for?
1195
01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,360
And now please make him welcome
1196
01:20:58,360 --> 01:21:00,360
Someone who thinks he's hilarious
1197
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:02,316
Dave!
1198
01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,360
Yeah! Woo!
1199
01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:09,360
ls everybody ready to rock?
1200
01:21:09,360 --> 01:21:12,360
Well you can't those seats are bolted down
1201
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:15,360
l wouldn't even try thank you
1202
01:21:15,360 --> 01:21:16,360
That's not funny
1203
01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:17,360
Tell us a funny joke
1204
01:21:17,360 --> 01:21:18,360
lt was funny mate.
1205
01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:21,360
Please don't disrupt the comedians on stage
1206
01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:22,360
Comedians? You?
1207
01:21:22,360 --> 01:21:23,360
Yes
1208
01:21:23,360 --> 01:21:24,360
Tell us something funny
1209
01:21:24,360 --> 01:21:26,360
lf you just give me half a chance l will
1210
01:21:26,360 --> 01:21:28,360
My grandmother is so old
1211
01:21:28,360 --> 01:21:32,360
lf she's as old as these jokes she's fucking dead
1212
01:21:32,360 --> 01:21:33,360
Seriously could you
1213
01:21:33,360 --> 01:21:35,360
That got more of a laugh than you
1214
01:21:35,360 --> 01:21:37,360
Security! l'm going to get you chucked out
1215
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:38,360
l am security
1216
01:21:38,360 --> 01:21:39,360
Oh shit
1217
01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,360
Tell us a fucking joke
1218
01:21:41,360 --> 01:21:44,360
What kind of bees make milk?
1219
01:21:44,360 --> 01:21:45,360
Boobies
1220
01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:48,360
Oh my God the only boobie around here is you ya
tit
1221
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:50,316
Mate shut up
1222
01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:55,360
Oh my God he just shot the heckler l can't ow!
1223
01:21:55,360 --> 01:21:56,360
Oh my God
1224
01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:59,360
He just shot the person that was talking about the
heckler being ow!
1225
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:05,360
Oh my God he just shot the person that was talking
about the person that was talking about the heckler
being shot
1226
01:22:05,360 --> 01:22:07,360
He just shot my pussy
1227
01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:13,360
This is ridiculous this is just devolving into common
innuendo and cheap jokes
1228
01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:16,360
Yes let's listen to the voice of reason up the top
there yes sir
1229
01:22:16,360 --> 01:22:17,360
Alright look l've got a request
1230
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:18,360
Certainly sir yes
1231
01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:21,318
Just give me twenty cents!
1232
01:22:29,360 --> 01:22:32,318
Just give me twenty cents!
1233
01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:37,360
You should not have come back old man
1234
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:41,360
When l left you l was but a learner
1235
01:22:41,360 --> 01:22:44,318
Now l am the master
1236
01:22:48,360 --> 01:22:51,360
Only a master of evil Darth
1237
01:22:51,360 --> 01:22:54,360
You said you were going to put your Ben Kenobi
costume on tonight
1238
01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:55,360
Forget the costume lets just
1239
01:22:55,360 --> 01:22:57,360
No we're filming you got to put it on you said
1240
01:22:57,360 --> 01:22:58,360
it's not ready
1241
01:22:58,360 --> 01:23:01,360
How long have you been working on it for?
1242
01:23:01,360 --> 01:23:02,360
Six weeks
1243
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:05,360
Six weeks l think these guys will appreciate the
effort
1244
01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:06,360
lt's not ready
1245
01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:10,360
lt's perfect. You want to see his Ben Kenobi
costume?
1246
01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:11,360
Come on man
1247
01:23:11,360 --> 01:23:15,360
l grew my hair to look like his helmet the least you
can do
1248
01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:16,360
ls put your costume on
1249
01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:18,360
Yeah but that only took you a week
1250
01:23:18,360 --> 01:23:21,360
Come on man put your costume on
1251
01:23:21,360 --> 01:23:25,360
Yeah OK for the kids and the pixies out there
1252
01:23:25,360 --> 01:23:28,360
OK OK l'll just bear in mind it's not quite ready
1253
01:23:28,360 --> 01:23:30,360
But it takes me a minute to put this on
1254
01:23:30,360 --> 01:23:32,360
Sure l'l just do the line again
1255
01:23:32,360 --> 01:23:36,360
Tina could l have my larger testicles back please
1256
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:39,360
You should not have come back old man
1257
01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:42,360
When l left you l was but a learner
1258
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:45,318
Now l am the master
1259
01:23:55,360 --> 01:23:58,360
ls that a charity clap?
1260
01:23:58,360 --> 01:24:02,360
l put a lot of fucking effort into this costume alright?
1261
01:24:02,360 --> 01:24:04,360
Six weeks!
1262
01:24:04,360 --> 01:24:07,360
Lot of effort? Six weeks? Mate
1263
01:24:07,360 --> 01:24:09,360
Look at the tag hanging off
1264
01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:11,360
Don't worry about the tag
1265
01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:13,360
l put that tag on there
1266
01:24:13,360 --> 01:24:16,318
Yeah you put Quest Hotels on there
1267
01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:21,360
Ben Kenobi's on a quest
1268
01:24:21,360 --> 01:24:24,360
And he chooses to stay at Quest Hotels
1269
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:28,319
When he's in Tatooine
1270
01:24:44,360 --> 01:24:47,318
Who went to Cra~zy Clarks today?
1271
01:24:54,360 --> 01:24:56,360
Party!
1272
01:24:56,360 --> 01:25:00,360
On the Death Star on the Death Star
1273
01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:07,360
Use the force Luke use the force Luke use the use
the use the force Luke
1274
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:08,360
That looks great
1275
01:25:08,360 --> 01:25:09,360
Look it changes colours
1276
01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:12,360
lt's awesome
1277
01:25:12,360 --> 01:25:16,319
Can you pick us up on the DVD? Yes?
1278
01:25:29,360 --> 01:25:31,360
What did you write?
1279
01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:33,360
l wrote Darth
1280
01:25:33,360 --> 01:25:35,360
What did you write?
1281
01:25:35,360 --> 01:25:36,360
ls a tosser
1282
01:25:36,360 --> 01:25:37,360
What the?
1283
01:25:37,360 --> 01:25:39,316
Exclamation
1284
01:25:54,360 --> 01:25:57,318
Run Shane run
1285
01:26:06,360 --> 01:26:08,360
What's that? My intitials
1286
01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:10,316
Yeah have a look
1287
01:26:13,360 --> 01:26:14,360
Just give me twenty cents
1288
01:26:14,360 --> 01:26:15,360
No
1289
01:26:15,360 --> 01:26:17,316
Twenty Cents
1290
01:26:23,360 --> 01:26:26,318
l'm gonna get that twenty cents
1291
01:26:55,360 --> 01:26:58,360
You sound like Mickey Mouse
1292
01:26:58,360 --> 01:27:00,360
l was going for Bruce Lee
1293
01:27:00,360 --> 01:27:04,360
Well you got to sound more like a chicken
1294
01:27:04,360 --> 01:27:05,360
l'll get ya
1295
01:27:05,360 --> 01:27:07,360
That's still Mickey Mouse
1296
01:27:07,360 --> 01:27:09,360
l'll cut ya with my ears
1297
01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:11,316
l'll cut ya
1298
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:16,360
You see
1299
01:27:16,360 --> 01:27:19,360
Ow my eye!
1300
01:27:19,360 --> 01:27:21,360
Just step up like a man
1301
01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:24,360
Just step up and we'll talk about it
1302
01:27:24,360 --> 01:27:27,360
l'm not a man l'm a mouse
1303
01:27:27,360 --> 01:27:30,360
Step up here like a
1304
01:27:30,360 --> 01:27:33,360
There's a hole down here
1305
01:27:33,360 --> 01:27:36,360
That's right Mickey
1306
01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:38,360
Now Mickey
1307
01:27:38,360 --> 01:27:41,360
Are you going to give me twenty cents?
1308
01:27:41,360 --> 01:27:42,315
No
1309
01:27:47,360 --> 01:27:51,360
No l might slip and fall
1310
01:27:51,360 --> 01:27:54,318
Yeah that's what l'm talking about
1311
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:12,316
lt's dust
1312
01:28:21,360 --> 01:28:25,360
l didn't understand a fucking word you said over
1313
01:28:25,360 --> 01:28:28,318
Gibberish Gibberish Gibberish over
1314
01:28:29,360 --> 01:28:30,315
Roger
1315
01:28:46,360 --> 01:28:49,318
This is Houston control
1316
01:28:51,360 --> 01:28:53,360
Are you there Major Dave?
1317
01:28:53,360 --> 01:28:55,360
Roger Houston
1318
01:28:55,360 --> 01:28:58,360
l'm here Houston
1319
01:28:58,360 --> 01:29:02,360
What part of Mississippi are you from Major Dave?
1320
01:29:02,360 --> 01:29:04,360
The south part.
1321
01:29:04,360 --> 01:29:07,360
That's about as far south as l can imagine
1322
01:29:07,360 --> 01:29:10,360
Sorry Houston l started with this voice
1323
01:29:10,360 --> 01:29:14,360
Now l'm just going to have to keep on at it
1324
01:29:14,360 --> 01:29:19,360
And that's how the great nation of America was
born
1325
01:29:19,360 --> 01:29:22,360
OK Major Dave prepare for countdown
1326
01:29:22,360 --> 01:29:24,316
Roger Houston
1327
01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:28,316
Ten
1328
01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:31,316
Nine
1329
01:29:34,360 --> 01:29:36,360
Eight
1330
01:29:36,360 --> 01:29:38,316
Seven
1331
01:29:43,360 --> 01:29:45,360
Six
1332
01:29:45,360 --> 01:29:48,360
You forgot Six
1333
01:29:48,360 --> 01:29:49,360
l'm alright
1334
01:29:49,360 --> 01:29:50,360
What?
1335
01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:53,360
Where am l now?
1336
01:29:53,360 --> 01:29:57,360
l can't understand what you're saying Major Dave
1337
01:29:57,360 --> 01:30:03,360
l think this guy is two physics degrees short of a
fuckwit
1338
01:30:03,360 --> 01:30:05,360
Major Dave do you read? Do you read?
1339
01:30:05,360 --> 01:30:07,360
Oh course l fucking read!
1340
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:09,360
How do you think l got this job?
1341
01:30:09,360 --> 01:30:12,360
l didn't mean that Do the countdown
1342
01:30:12,360 --> 01:30:17,360
One more of them and l'm out of here Houston
1343
01:30:17,360 --> 01:30:18,360
Ten
1344
01:30:18,360 --> 01:30:20,360
Oh my God
1345
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:22,360
Just go from Five
1346
01:30:22,360 --> 01:30:24,360
Five
1347
01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:26,316
Four
1348
01:30:27,360 --> 01:30:29,316
Three
1349
01:30:30,360 --> 01:30:32,360
Just give me twenty cents
1350
01:30:32,360 --> 01:30:34,316
Blastoff!
1351
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:45,360
This is Houston Control
1352
01:30:45,360 --> 01:30:48,360
You will experience G forces
1353
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:50,316
No shit Houston
1354
01:31:21,360 --> 01:31:24,318
You there Houston?
1355
01:31:25,360 --> 01:31:26,360
Houston!?
1356
01:31:26,360 --> 01:31:28,360
l'm there Major Dave
1357
01:31:28,360 --> 01:31:33,360
Please don't make me say more words than l
absolutely have to
1358
01:31:33,360 --> 01:31:37,360
Because this voice is really hurting me
1359
01:31:37,360 --> 01:31:40,360
l think l taste blood Houston
1360
01:31:40,360 --> 01:31:44,360
You think it's painful from your end?
1361
01:31:44,360 --> 01:31:49,309
l think you've just called 16 galaxies to war
1362
01:31:50,360 --> 01:31:51,360
OK Major Dave
1363
01:31:51,360 --> 01:31:53,360
l'm going to have to talk you through this
1364
01:31:53,360 --> 01:31:55,360
You're in the module section
1365
01:31:55,360 --> 01:31:57,360
You're going to be landing on the moon
1366
01:31:57,360 --> 01:31:59,360
So press that big red button
1367
01:31:59,360 --> 01:32:01,360
And you will eject the module section
1368
01:32:01,360 --> 01:32:04,318
Pressing big red button Houston
1369
01:32:07,360 --> 01:32:09,360
Well done Major Dave
1370
01:32:09,360 --> 01:32:12,318
l can press buttons Houston
1371
01:32:13,360 --> 01:32:16,360
OK the lunar surface is coming up pretty fast
1372
01:32:16,360 --> 01:32:17,360
Could be a rough one
1373
01:32:17,360 --> 01:32:18,360
Prepare for landing Major Dave
1374
01:32:18,360 --> 01:32:20,360
Oh no not a rough one Houston
1375
01:32:20,360 --> 01:32:22,360
l'm not ready for a rough one
1376
01:32:22,360 --> 01:32:23,360
l don't know what you just said
1377
01:32:23,360 --> 01:32:25,360
But let's hope it means affirmative
1378
01:32:25,360 --> 01:32:27,360
l want someone else to do it Houston
1379
01:32:27,360 --> 01:32:31,319
OK the Lunar surface is coming up prepare for
landing
1380
01:32:33,360 --> 01:32:35,316
Ow my back!
1381
01:32:36,360 --> 01:32:38,316
Ow my spleen!
1382
01:32:40,360 --> 01:32:42,316
Ow my nose
1383
01:32:45,360 --> 01:32:48,318
The asshole has landed
1384
01:32:58,360 --> 01:33:00,316
No Houston l can't-
1385
01:33:43,360 --> 01:33:48,360
This is ground control to Major Dave
1386
01:33:48,360 --> 01:33:53,360
How's it looking up there on the moon?
1387
01:33:53,360 --> 01:33:57,319
Well you know Houston it looks pretty cool
1388
01:34:07,360 --> 01:34:11,319
l think l just burst one of my own eardrums
1389
01:34:14,360 --> 01:34:15,360
Major Dave
1390
01:34:15,360 --> 01:34:16,315
Yes Houston?
1391
01:34:18,360 --> 01:34:21,360
How's it looking up there on the moon?
1392
01:34:21,360 --> 01:34:25,360
Well Houston when l look up into the stars
1393
01:34:25,360 --> 01:34:30,360
Why it's like a billion eyes staring down at me
1394
01:34:30,360 --> 01:34:31,360
A billion eyes?
1395
01:34:31,360 --> 01:34:33,360
Billion eyes
1396
01:34:33,360 --> 01:34:35,360
A billion eyes staring down at you?
1397
01:34:35,360 --> 01:34:37,360
Staring at me
1398
01:34:37,360 --> 01:34:41,360
l think your oxygen level is a little too low there
Major Dave
1399
01:34:41,360 --> 01:34:43,316
You better turn that up
1400
01:34:57,360 --> 01:34:59,360
Major Dave
1401
01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:02,360
Hey Houston
1402
01:35:02,360 --> 01:35:05,360
l'm on the moon!
1403
01:35:05,360 --> 01:35:08,318
Major Dave is on the moon
1404
01:35:12,360 --> 01:35:14,316
Major Dave
1405
01:35:59,360 --> 01:36:01,360
Hey Houston
1406
01:36:01,360 --> 01:36:06,360
l think l see the earth out on the hori~zon
1407
01:36:06,360 --> 01:36:10,360
Now l see some kind of object
1408
01:36:10,360 --> 01:36:13,318
l'm gonna check it out
1409
01:36:17,360 --> 01:36:20,318
l'm getting closer to it Houston
1410
01:36:22,360 --> 01:36:25,318
And l'm getting closer to it Houston
1411
01:36:30,360 --> 01:36:35,309
Houston l have identified the object in question
1412
01:36:39,360 --> 01:36:41,360
And Houston
1413
01:36:41,360 --> 01:36:46,309
l am getting the fuck out of here oh my God
1414
01:37:06,360 --> 01:37:09,360
Computer l am approaching the pod
1415
01:37:09,360 --> 01:37:12,360
Please open pod bay doors
1416
01:37:12,360 --> 01:37:16,319
l'm sorry Dave l'm afraid l can't do that
1417
01:37:40,360 --> 01:37:43,318
What the hell is that?
1418
01:37:53,360 --> 01:37:55,360
Who are you?
1419
01:37:55,360 --> 01:37:57,316
On screen
1420
01:37:59,360 --> 01:38:02,318
Just give me twenty cents
1421
01:38:12,360 --> 01:38:17,309
Houston l am out of my ship repeat l am out of my
ship
1422
01:38:40,360 --> 01:38:42,316
Asteroid!
1423
01:38:44,360 --> 01:38:50,310
Oh no we're going to go through the earth's
atmosphere!
1424
01:38:51,360 --> 01:38:53,360
What do we do what do we do?
1425
01:38:53,360 --> 01:38:54,360
l know
1426
01:38:54,360 --> 01:38:58,319
Grab as many birds as you can
1427
01:39:00,360 --> 01:39:01,360
Doesn't work
1428
01:39:01,360 --> 01:39:03,360
Screw you birds!
1429
01:39:03,360 --> 01:39:05,360
We're gonna die we're gonna die
1430
01:39:05,360 --> 01:39:06,360
lf we're gonna die
1431
01:39:06,360 --> 01:39:09,318
We may as well die extreme!
1432
01:39:34,360 --> 01:39:37,360
l think l'm going to spew
1433
01:39:37,360 --> 01:39:41,360
l'm reconsidering that Red Bull before the show
1434
01:39:41,360 --> 01:39:42,360
l know
1435
01:39:42,360 --> 01:39:46,319
Grab on to the edge of that building
1436
01:39:57,360 --> 01:39:59,360
Can't hold on much longer
1437
01:39:59,360 --> 01:40:00,360
Neither can l
1438
01:40:00,360 --> 01:40:04,360
if only you'd perfected those suction boots you
were working on last weekend
1439
01:40:04,360 --> 01:40:07,360
Of course! My prototype suction boots
1440
01:40:07,360 --> 01:40:11,360
l just happen to be wearing them
1441
01:40:11,360 --> 01:40:14,360
Testing suction boot number one
1442
01:40:14,360 --> 01:40:17,360
Yeah that sucks OK
1443
01:40:17,360 --> 01:40:19,360
Number two
1444
01:40:19,360 --> 01:40:21,360
Yeah that totally sucks
1445
01:40:21,360 --> 01:40:24,318
Alright l'm going to let go
1446
01:40:26,360 --> 01:40:28,316
Come on abs
1447
01:40:33,360 --> 01:40:37,360
This must look ama~zing
1448
01:40:37,360 --> 01:40:38,360
You know
1449
01:40:38,360 --> 01:40:44,310
l wonder what this would look like from another
perspective
1450
01:41:03,360 --> 01:41:07,360
l guess we'll never know
1451
01:41:07,360 --> 01:41:09,360
What are you doing?
1452
01:41:09,360 --> 01:41:10,360
l don't know
1453
01:41:10,360 --> 01:41:13,360
My boots don't suck that much
1454
01:41:13,360 --> 01:41:14,360
That's better
1455
01:41:14,360 --> 01:41:16,316
Not better
1456
01:41:19,360 --> 01:41:20,360
Listen Shane
1457
01:41:20,360 --> 01:41:21,360
Yes Dave
1458
01:41:21,360 --> 01:41:23,360
l'm really sorry about Andrew
1459
01:41:23,360 --> 01:41:24,360
You're really sorry?
1460
01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:25,360
Really sorry
1461
01:41:25,360 --> 01:41:27,360
Then l guess l don't need that twenty cents
1462
01:41:27,360 --> 01:41:27,760
Oh great
1463
01:41:27,760 --> 01:41:28,360
Oh no
1464
01:41:28,360 --> 01:41:31,360
The ledge it's starting to give way!
1465
01:41:31,360 --> 01:41:33,360
There's only one option
1466
01:41:33,360 --> 01:41:34,360
What's that?
1467
01:41:34,360 --> 01:41:37,360
l'm going to sacrifice myself to save you
1468
01:41:37,360 --> 01:41:38,360
Good idea
1469
01:41:38,360 --> 01:41:39,360
Me too
1470
01:41:39,360 --> 01:41:41,316
Me first
1471
01:41:44,360 --> 01:41:46,316
Stop!
1472
01:41:48,360 --> 01:41:50,360
l'm afraid you're too late
1473
01:41:50,360 --> 01:41:53,360
The booking has been filled
1474
01:41:53,360 --> 01:41:55,316
By who?
1475
01:41:58,360 --> 01:42:01,360
l made it quite clear
1476
01:42:01,360 --> 01:42:05,319
There can be only one
1477
01:42:07,360 --> 01:42:11,319
Not this time
1478
01:42:29,360 --> 01:42:35,360
You have been watching in the role of Dave Dave
1479
01:42:35,360 --> 01:42:40,309
ln the role of Shane Shane
1480
01:42:41,360 --> 01:42:49,360
Playing the role of Andrew the cricket two time
Academy Award winner Daniel Day Lewis
1481
01:42:49,360 --> 01:42:53,360
And in the role of me me
1482
01:42:53,360 --> 01:42:58,309
Thanks very much for coming we'll see you next
time bye
1483
01:43:03,360 --> 01:43:05,360
And now
1484
01:43:05,360 --> 01:43:09,319
The song that was cut from tonights show
1485
01:43:12,360 --> 01:43:14,316
Andrew!
1486
01:43:21,360 --> 01:43:25,360
He was just my little friend Andrew
1487
01:43:25,360 --> 01:43:27,360
He's not singing is he?
1488
01:43:27,360 --> 01:43:30,360
No bigger than a pen Andrew
1489
01:43:30,360 --> 01:43:33,360
l think he's singing l'll go check
1490
01:43:33,360 --> 01:43:34,360
For he and l
1491
01:43:34,360 --> 01:43:35,360
Yeah he's singing
1492
01:43:35,360 --> 01:43:37,360
Would spend the days the days go by
1493
01:43:37,360 --> 01:43:38,360
lt's definitely singing
1494
01:43:38,360 --> 01:43:39,360
Andrew and l
1495
01:43:39,360 --> 01:43:41,360
l can hear him l can see him
1496
01:43:41,360 --> 01:43:42,360
And Andrew and l
1497
01:43:42,360 --> 01:43:44,360
He even looks like he's singing
1498
01:43:44,360 --> 01:43:45,360
And Andrew and l
1499
01:43:45,360 --> 01:43:46,360
Shane could you not-
1500
01:43:46,360 --> 01:43:47,360
And Andrew and l
1501
01:43:47,360 --> 01:43:49,360
We talked about this
1502
01:43:49,360 --> 01:43:53,319
And Andrew and l and Andrew
1503
01:44:01,360 --> 01:44:06,360
We talked about this we said we're not going to put
a song in the show tonight
1504
01:44:06,360 --> 01:44:07,360
But l'm in position to do a song
1505
01:44:07,360 --> 01:44:09,360
l know you are sorry next show
1506
01:44:09,360 --> 01:44:12,360
l'll look like a dickhead if l don't do a song now
1507
01:44:12,360 --> 01:44:13,360
Mate too late mate
1508
01:44:13,360 --> 01:44:15,360
We'll put a song in the next show
1509
01:44:15,360 --> 01:44:17,360
We'll just do a whole musical next show how about
that?
1510
01:44:17,360 --> 01:44:19,360
But l thought l could just do one song
1511
01:44:19,360 --> 01:44:20,360
No song we talked about it
1512
01:44:20,360 --> 01:44:21,360
You always get to do a song
1513
01:44:21,360 --> 01:44:22,360
We said we're not gonna do a song
1514
01:44:22,360 --> 01:44:23,360
Just for these guys
1515
01:44:23,360 --> 01:44:24,360
They don't want a song
1516
01:44:24,360 --> 01:44:25,360
Yes one song
1517
01:44:25,360 --> 01:44:29,360
No believe me you don't
1518
01:44:29,360 --> 01:44:31,360
One song yes
1519
01:44:31,360 --> 01:44:34,360
No we're not gonna put a song in the show tonight
1520
01:44:34,360 --> 01:44:39,360
We're not gonna put a song in the show tonight
1521
01:44:39,360 --> 01:44:40,360
Say what?
1522
01:44:40,360 --> 01:44:44,360
l said we're not gonna put a song in the show
tonight
1523
01:44:44,360 --> 01:44:45,360
Hey is that right?
1524
01:44:45,360 --> 01:44:46,360
Yeah that's right
1525
01:44:46,360 --> 01:44:52,160
So we're not gonna put a song
1526
01:44:52,160 --> 01:44:57,760
So don't you try to clap along
1527
01:44:57,760 --> 01:45:00,760
We're not gonna put a song in the show
1528
01:45:00,760 --> 01:45:03,718
Tonight
1529
01:45:09,160 --> 01:45:10,360
Tonight
1530
01:45:10,360 --> 01:45:12,360
And pyros go
1531
01:45:12,360 --> 01:45:14,316
Oh for f-
93649
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