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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) You're late, and you've got patients waiting in
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rooms one and two.
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Margaret, I just a second walked in the
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door.
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Is it all right with you if I
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take a few damn moments for myself before
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you inundate me with the walking wounded?
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Is that all right with you?
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Thank you.
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Oh, and Dr. Becker, you have a phone
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call, but I forgot to ask who it
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was.
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Oh, that's just great.
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Oh, thank you, Linda.
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Yeah, terrific support staff.
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All right, start my day with a compliment.
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Which line?
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The blinking one.
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Not only am I blank...
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Oh, sure, now it is.
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Uh-oh, did you see that look in
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his eye?
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I never look directly at him.
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Oh, that's right, you haven't been through it
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before.
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Been through what?
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Well, every four years he just loses it.
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You mean more than normal?
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I should have seen this coming.
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I mean, both of his ex-wives have
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called lately.
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He took a big hit on his taxes,
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and Lord knows the last time he was
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with a woman.
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Well, he doesn't seem any worse than usual.
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Damn fools!
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There are subtle differences.
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You know, Margaret, you're right, lately Becker has
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been a bigger pain in the ass than
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usual.
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How long does this usually last?
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Usually until he kills something.
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Last time it was the coke machine.
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He said it was staring at him.
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I know how that feels.
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Hey, Reg.
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Hey, Jake, hey, Heidi.
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Hey, Reggie.
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Oh, Heidi, did you happen to leave a
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pair of sunglasses in here the other day?
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I did, thank you.
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Damn, I mean...
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Here you go.
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But I'm warning you, you leave that jacket
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in here, you are not seeing it again.
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Thanks for the warning.
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Anyway, gotta go to work.
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See you later.
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Okay.
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Wait a minute.
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Hold on.
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That's your girlfriend?
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Your girlfriend?
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Yours?
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What's your problem, Bob?
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My problem, Mr. Blind Date, is that it's
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a sin that such a beautiful woman is
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wasted on a guy who can't even see
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her.
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But I still got a sense of touch.
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Hey, quit rubbing it in.
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How come Bob never gets any woman like
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that?
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You mean non-inflatable?
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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50 cents because I'm not paying for the
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coffee I never got you know there's this
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website where you tell them how much money
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you have and they hook you up with
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great trips but it's last-minute stuff so
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you have to go right away you find
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me a good vacation for $300 I'll be
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happy to go that'll be easy they have
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everything golf trips fishing trips you can even
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go skiing yeah yeah I could wrap myself
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around a tree get a concussion be out
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of the office for months what about a
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ski trip hey
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Reggie Jake here we're going out to dinner
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oh yeah be right out coffee yeah thank
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you it's funny I can't remember ever seeing
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you so casual I mean it's just that
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you're always so dressed up that's all yeah
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usually I am I mean I don't mean
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to sound conceited or anything but all my
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life every guy ever dated has been obsessed
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with how I look well you know what
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it's like yeah it's a drag but with
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Jake I don't have to dress up it's
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great I feel so free hey Jake Heidi
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oh you're here early yeah most women are
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late you know they take so much time
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putting themselves together not me well good night
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Reg see you tomorrow have fun we gotta
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go that little man he's staring at me
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again well all right then I see you
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she's so much fun to talk to didn't
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say a word to you didn't have to
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it was a look at her eyes what
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is it my imagination or are you not
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as close to the floor as usual all
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right you must know I'm wearing elevation-enhancing
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accessories you know I'm wearing lifts lifts you
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you're wearing stilts yeah and they're killing me
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all right oh that's better well
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I was crazy to agree with this I
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don't want to go on a cruise where
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you're going come on the cab is waiting
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Margaret a cruise I didn't like being in
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an elevator with strangers for seven minutes what
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am I gonna do on a boat for
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seven days stay out of the elevator come
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on John Linda did a lot of research
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before she booked this cruise it's gonna be
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a lot of fun and besides you are
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going to such great places Jamaica the Dominican
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Republic Puerto Rico have you been out there
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lately I'm already on that cruise I don't
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need a vacation I just had a bad
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couple of days I'm past that now hey
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pop that freaking horn one more time I'm
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gonna force feed that fat rest of you
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one feed at a time yeah you know
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I just hey no oh lord I thought
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he would never leave now Linda I'm gonna
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go back and close the exam rooms you
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call Susan over dr.
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Klein's office and reconfirm all the rescheduled appointments
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you got it Susan I'm on it Julie
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Linda yeah I'll be out soon uh-huh
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dr.
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evil just left you know we should go
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on that cruise there's entertainment pool parties and
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not a woman to be seen we do
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great there yeah you should see the pictures
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on the website these guys are so desperate
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they're stuck dancing with each other it's
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what kind of cruise please
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tell me you mean happy hi
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Linda welcome back is dr.
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Becker back yet no not yet but he
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should be in any minute why no reason
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how was your week off mine was great
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what'd you do well had to work so
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I slept late watch soap operas ate ice
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cream pretty much what you do here every
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day what are you so worried
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about you know the world my place in
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it how long I'll have a place in
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it that's great Linda you know it never
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hurts to get in touch with your spiritual
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side actually I've been drinking a lot hi
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John welcome back how was the cruise it
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was very nice did you have fun yes
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it's very nice do you have any pictures
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no no pictures I swear you're the only
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person I know who goes away on vacation
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comes back and has nothing to say about
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it well I guess it was just so
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special I haven't had time to process it
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all you know you are being very secretive
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did you have a little shipboard romance Linda
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Linda you all right yes fine yes you
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know John I've got the feeling that you
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are hiding something from me but don't worry
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I'll get it out of you eventually mrs.
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Hahn would you please follow me I'll get
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you set up in room one I'm going
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to kill you greetings
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losers hey who's this guy sitting with vision
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quest that's Heidi get the hell out of
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here I think she's taking advantage of Jake
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because he's blind you know by letting her
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parents go Wow suddenly Bob glad he never
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took a shot at her unless you had
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a gun with tranquilizer darts and that you
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never had a shot at her I gotta
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go Jake okay all right so dinner tonight
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around 8 yeah sounds great Bob beautiful well
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look who's back hey hello if it isn't
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the king of cruising so did the king
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find a queen why'd you say that oh
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I don't know I just heard those cruises
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were really great places to meet people what
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do you what do you mean by those
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cruises has Lynn has Linda been in here
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no she's been on vacation for a week
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why oh never mind let's just drop them
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you know what rich I bet he did
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meet somebody come on a single doctor on
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a cruise yeah it would be weird if
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he didn't meet someone mm-hmm all right
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all right yeah you know what you act
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you did get you guessed it I I
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did meet some I just I just didn't
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want to jinx it you know so let's
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just say that this this person is a
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very special it was very romantic and I
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hope it works out I sent you on
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a gay cruise I can't take this torture
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anymore so kill me don't kill me that's
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up to you but it was an honest
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mistake whoa wait back up you went on
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a gay cruise they didn't know yet did
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they no no they didn't Oh John so
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this special person you met what's his name
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very funny very funny Oh Bob waited his
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whole life for this someone else is the
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object of ridicule now you all know it's
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no big deal oh thank God no no
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for you it is a very big deal
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don't go on a vacation you said you
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know it'll be relaxing you said it was
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the most unrelaxing week of my at what
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point did you realize it was a gay
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crew oh I don't know somewhere between why
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am and see what did you do in
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your cabin all week oh yeah I know
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I would have loved that but my my
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two cabin mates Brad and Nevin they really
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hit it off first first night I went
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back to my stateroom early and let's just
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say I never made that mistake again there
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were no women on the entire ship oh
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I thought there were but I was horribly
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and publicly right dr.
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Becker I promise someday you'll look back on
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this and laugh too maybe maybe before that
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day comes I'm going to kill you and
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I'm gonna use my powers as a physician
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to bring you back to life and I'm
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going to kill you again hi
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dr.
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Becker hello Linda would you please go back
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to the storeroom and bring me back a
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box of syringes how do I know this
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isn't a trap you don't how long
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is this gonna go on so Linda made
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a mistake John you have been tormenting her
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for days yes so far much more fun
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than my vacation don't you think you're carrying
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on just a little too much I swear
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you are acting like such a homophobe oh
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come on Margaret you know me I don't
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have anything against gay people I would have
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felt just as uncomfortable with a boat full
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of old people or young people or born
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-agains or country music fans and thank God
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they weren't country music fans but what was
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so bad about this cruise do I have
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to spill it out for you I was
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the only straight man there do you know
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what it's like to be a minority come
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on you know what I'm talking about I
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was really looking forward to getting away you
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know yes you know I was hoping I
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could meet someone that certainly wasn't gonna happen
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on this cruise was it so people weren't
271
00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:32,130
nice to you no everybody was really nice
272
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so it wasn't completely miserable oh I guess
273
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not I mean I you know I got
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some Sun I caught up with my reading
275
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how about the food Oh Margaret food was
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marvelous how about the entertainment fabulous marvelous fabulous
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I mean listen to me listen I swear
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if anyone else went on this cruise they
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would have come back with a funny story
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00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:02,910
oh but not you you treat it just
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00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:04,630
like you treat your whole life you look
282
00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:06,470
for the negative you find it and then
283
00:17:06,470 --> 00:17:10,050
you obsess about it John Linda made a
284
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:13,510
mistake move on what am I supposed to
285
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,609
do like you know find a humor in
286
00:17:15,609 --> 00:17:18,770
all of this why not everyone I've told
287
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:31,330
has greetings
288
00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:35,390
fry baby yeah back to your old height
289
00:17:35,390 --> 00:17:40,830
hey bro mix why so spiffy I like
290
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,030
to look good when I go out with
291
00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,930
Heidi you know especially since I'm sure that
292
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,370
when we're together everyone's staring at us no
293
00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:48,750
they're staring all right well what's that supposed
294
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:52,230
to me oh well Jake I wasn't sure
295
00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:54,430
if I should tell you but Heidi's sort
296
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:56,430
of been dressing down lately I mean like
297
00:17:56,430 --> 00:18:01,290
casual means like pigpen I just think that
298
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:04,170
she's using the fact that you're blind to
299
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:07,710
let herself go well thanks a lot Reggie
300
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:16,190
well is it true no little sort of
301
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:22,770
yes why I don't know it's just easier
302
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,890
this way I mean I have to dress
303
00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:26,190
up when I go to the office or
304
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,650
when I'm out with clients but when we
305
00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:30,390
go out what does it matter you don't
306
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:32,730
think I matter no no no no that
307
00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:34,950
came out wrong what I meant to say
308
00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:38,050
was what's the point oh well thanks for
309
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,970
clearing that up I feel much better now
310
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:43,590
Jake I really thought I could get past
311
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,550
the appearance thing with you you also got
312
00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:48,310
past the honesty thing no Jake wait wait
313
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look you should care what you look like
314
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when you go out with me even if
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00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,970
I can't see you so what are you
316
00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:56,890
saying I'm saying I don't think this is
317
00:18:56,890 --> 00:19:06,650
gonna work out goodbye Heidi that was your
318
00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:09,370
solution to say goodbye what else was I
319
00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:10,350
supposed to do you tell her to go
320
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,850
home hose off and put on a dress
321
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that's like having an incredible piece of candy
322
00:19:16,470 --> 00:19:17,870
so what if it falls on the floor
323
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:19,350
you pick it up wipe off the dirt
324
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:25,810
and pop it back in your mouth there
325
00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:28,170
is coffee well well if it isn't dr.
326
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:33,510
strange love yeah fine fine take your best
327
00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:35,130
shot oh that wasn't my best shot I
328
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:37,770
got lots more dr.
329
00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:39,930
Becker I know you're still mad at me
330
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,630
but if it helps here my life savings
331
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:46,570
$300 well 260 of it is mine 40
332
00:19:46,570 --> 00:19:48,270
I took from the cash box at work
333
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:52,610
don't be mad at me anymore please oh
334
00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:56,650
here Linda you know keep the money actually
335
00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:58,550
give me the 40 back but you can
336
00:19:58,550 --> 00:20:02,590
keep the rest you know I I know
337
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:09,350
you I know you meant well I thought
338
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:11,230
about it and I realized that you know
339
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:14,450
maybe I was focusing on the negative what
340
00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:17,430
could have been a fun experience Margaret told
341
00:20:17,430 --> 00:20:18,870
you to say that didn't you shut up
342
00:20:18,870 --> 00:20:22,550
look I don't care how it happened thank
343
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:23,070
you dr.
344
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:27,890
Becker thank you I mean yeah it's okay
345
00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:32,450
oh by the way there's a message for
346
00:20:32,450 --> 00:20:34,530
you at the office some guy named Trent
347
00:20:34,530 --> 00:20:36,130
called he said he knows you're not gay
348
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,630
but if you just give him five minutes
349
00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:40,470
he's sure he could change your mind tell
350
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:46,190
him no thanks five minutes what could he
351
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possibly do in five minutes
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