Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,130
[ Laughter ]
2
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:08,132
Hey! Too far!
It's ominous down there!
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,011
So go get it ominously!
4
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,972
[ Screams ]
5
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,224
It's okay, little girl.
6
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,642
We'll take it from here.
7
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,268
Actually, we'll take it
from here.
8
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,187
Actually,
we'll take it from here.
9
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,189
Gentlemen!
We'll take it from here.
10
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,607
Who's that?
What did he say?
11
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,151
He's FBI!
He says he'll take it from here!
12
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,486
He can say that all he wants.
13
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,279
But we tend to take it
from here.
14
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,989
Every time.
Not this time.
15
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,241
Wait, Troy,
what the hell?
16
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,201
Sorry, Bob.
I've always been MIB.
17
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,161
Yes, but you've never been
Majestic Level.
18
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,871
Hank, what the hell?
Sorry, Tyler.
19
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,415
Okay. Wow. I guess you guys
are taking it from here.
20
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,251
You think I'm taking
anything from anywhere
21
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,627
with this guy ever again?
22
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,170
Good point.
Why don't you two pricks
23
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:46,547
just take everything
from everywhere?
24
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,840
What do you think?
You...want to take it?
25
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,509
From here? With me?
26
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,053
My whole life, I've been
taking things from places.
27
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,346
Today it's from here,
28
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,098
tomorrow it'll be
God knows what
29
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,474
from God knows where.
30
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,185
Just once,
I'd like to give it from here,
31
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,437
to someone
who can take it anywhere...
32
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,607
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
That's beautiful, gentlemen.
But unnecessary.
33
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:06,775
Troy. Bob. Hank. Tyler.
34
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:07,985
Yes, sir.
Mister President.
Sir.
35
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,194
We'll take it from here.
36
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,571
Man:
Is that the President?
37
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,990
I can't hear anything
that's going on.
38
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,658
We thought we were
taking it from here...
My partner of 15 years
just revealed...
39
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,118
...but the President is!
...they're a stranger!
40
00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:17,494
I refuse to take this
personally,
41
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,204
but I will never trust
anyone again!
42
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,664
I couldn't parse most of that,
so I'm assuming
43
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,249
the Coast Guard
is taking it from here?
44
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,542
All: No!
Okay!
45
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,878
That's all you had to say!
God-uh!
46
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:35,637
♪♪
47
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:44,104
♪♪
48
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:52,571
♪♪
49
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,866
Banks:
How does the Loch Ness Monster
50
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,200
wash up in Miami
wearing a prison jumpsuit?
51
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:58,493
Is Scotland exporting insanity
52
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,078
and doesn't Florida
have a surplus?
53
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,705
That jumpsuit isn't
from a normal prison.
54
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,081
It's from The Triangle.
55
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,500
America's secret
maximum security prison
56
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,502
at the heart
of the Bermuda Triangle.
57
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,670
We have
a paranormal Guantanamo?
58
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,965
Well, we can't put a ghost
in a regular prison, Banks.
59
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,383
Because they would love it.
60
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,426
Because they'd walk
through the walls.
61
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,844
Unless they were ghost walls.
62
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,471
Oh, and you don't think
they'd love that?
63
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,431
The Triangle is supposed
to be a sealed box.
64
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,183
But pointier.
With less sides.
65
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,310
This is the fourth escape
in three years.
66
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,895
Hm.
It's almost like a sealed,
67
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,938
pointy box full of bad stuff
eventually erupts.
68
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,774
They should invent
a name for that.
Lava pyramid.
69
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,984
Our monster prison
isn't leaking monsters
70
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,736
because of chaos theory,
dorkatron.
71
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,113
All of these escapees
have happened under one warden.
72
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:38,033
And look at this -- every
single escapee was registered
73
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,660
in the prison logs
as deceased...
74
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,745
before they could
have possibly escaped.
75
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,246
They're getting help
from the inside.
76
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,706
Corrupt guards?
Or you think it goes
77
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:45,916
all the way up
to the warden?
78
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,626
I don't get paid to think.
79
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,711
I mean, I do a little, but
I get results through action.
80
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,339
It's time the Triangle
got a surprise inspection.
81
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,966
Marine style.
White gloves and armored boots.
82
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,552
With fine-toothed combs
on the toes of the boots.
83
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388
3D-printed to fit
the insides of asses.
84
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,181
I am so pumped for this.
85
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,308
Good. Because you're going
in undercover.
86
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,060
As an inmate.
Wait, wha-- Sir?
87
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,145
It does makes sense to go in
from the top and the bottom.
88
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,647
We'd never know
which guards are corrupt
89
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,565
by asking a warden
that's complicit or oblivious.
90
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:13,151
You're a man I can trust,
and, as a half-leprechaun,
91
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,820
you'd be fast-tracked
to the Triangle.
92
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,989
I'm a man you can trust because
I hate that I'm half-leprechaun.
93
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,408
I literally never lie.
94
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,826
I can't pretend
to be a criminal.
95
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,661
Who says you'd be pretending,
you fancy,
96
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,454
gold-sucking, rainbow-loving
piece of shit?
97
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,332
Sir.
No. No.
I know what you're doing.
98
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,084
[ Irish accent] I stole
yer lucky charms, me boy!
99
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,544
What --
What is happening?
100
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,170
He's trying to goad me
into assaulting him
101
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,214
by saying lepre-phobic shit,
which makes zero sense
102
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,134
because I'm already ashamed
of my paranormal ethnicity.
103
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,677
You love your mother.
104
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,346
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
105
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,889
[ Electricity zaps ]
106
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,059
Damn! Can't believe I got
put next to the guy
107
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,936
who assaulted the President
with a stapler.
108
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,353
What'd they get you for?
109
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,106
Eh, lured some schoolgirls
into the woods,
110
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,190
made 'em stab each other.
111
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,817
But they got me on tax evasion.
112
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,360
Sorry, I-I gotta sit down.
113
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,904
[ All screaming ]
114
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,118
Banks:
Actually kind of excited, sir.
115
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,369
It's my first recon mission.
116
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,037
And based on our
recent field work,
117
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,998
I've adopted a more versatile
system of safety protocols.
118
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,958
Don't nerf yourself
for my sake, Banks.
119
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,544
I do dangerous work, and I need
dangerous people on my team.
120
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,337
[ Exhales heavily ]
Woo!
121
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,591
Faster than a velociraptor, but
still slower than a baby yeti.
122
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,760
Also, how dangerous do you
really want your people?
123
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,554
Our country has a secret
detention center for freaks,
124
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,806
and your only problem
is that sometimes they get out.
125
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,433
It's not a prison
for quirky X-Men
126
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,018
and sexy scissorhands,
Banks.
127
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,562
It's the only place capable
of housing literal monsters
128
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,314
that commit actual crimes.
129
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,691
So I should be a dangerous freak
but never a criminal monster.
130
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,735
And the difference is?
You're on my team.
131
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,445
[ Both scream ]
Pilot: Mr. President!
132
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,905
We're entering the Triangle's
outer fringe!
133
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,865
This is as far
as Air Force One can go!
134
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,408
What?
But we're still in the air.
135
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,909
Yep.
Time to change planes.
136
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,745
Deploying umbilical!
137
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,457
Woman: Secured
and ready for passengers!
138
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,004
Amelia:
Hello, Mister President!
139
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,255
Welcome aboard!
140
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,507
Thanks for the assist,
Amelia!
141
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,550
Wait, Amelia?
As in Earhart?!
142
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,969
The one and only, dollface!
[ Squeals ]
143
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,680
She's the only pilot that can
navigate the Bermuda Triangle.
144
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,099
FDR's people found her
here flying in circles,
145
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,268
so they put her in charge
of Triangle transit.
146
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,437
Classic FDR,
just giving out jobs.
147
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,439
Then Truman gave me
these babies!
148
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,191
[ Rapid gunfire ]
149
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,526
[ Laughs maniacally ]
150
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,277
[ Shark screams ]
Yes!
151
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,779
[ Cow moos ]
152
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,242
[ Dune worm shrieks ]
153
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,537
[ Laughs maniacally ]
154
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,955
So...she can never land?
155
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,123
Wouldn't want to, kid!
Love flying.
156
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,125
Landing?
That's for cars!
157
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,293
[ Laughs maniacally ]
158
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,753
Uhh...
We're here!
159
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,174
Here, put this on.
We parachute from here.
160
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,093
Okay, fun. Huge fan.
161
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,554
Thank you for all
you've done for Americans.
162
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,222
And women.
And lesbians.
163
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,640
[ Grunts ]
You're welcome!
164
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,933
Wait, people are
still doing labels?
165
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,853
Whoo-hoo!
166
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:56,064
Alright, Banks, no matter
what this guy says or does,
167
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,691
remember we're not here
to make friends.
168
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,443
Mister President.
Warden Ken Jeffries.
169
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,736
Save the pleasantries,
Warden.
170
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,321
I'm here
for a full inspection.
171
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,614
Loud and clear, sir.
172
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,074
That's how we did it
in the Marines.
173
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,325
You're a Marine?
174
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,660
Three-Eight, Camp Lawson,
Okinawa.
175
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:09,995
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!
176
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:10,996
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!
177
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,163
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!
178
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,582
Oo-rah!
Yeah!
Oooooo-rah!
179
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,417
[ Both laugh ]
Um, guys?
180
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,168
My office is this way.
Want to march?
181
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,712
I was just gonna say!
182
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,422
[ Chanting ] I don't know
what I've been told!
183
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,299
Curtis: [ Chanting ] I've been
told what I've been told!
184
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:29,180
♪♪
185
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,974
Spirits! Aliens!
186
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,601
Mutants and Goo-gas!
187
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,644
Welcome to The Triangle!
188
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,397
You are here because
you have haunted, morphed,
189
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,358
doppelganged, eaten,
or maliciously laid eggs
190
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,902
in the greatest country
on Earth.
191
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,779
[ Laughs evilly ] Your kingdom
is a fleeting dream.
192
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,198
If death cannot contain me,
how will you?
193
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,909
I am Dracu--
194
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:52,537
[ Screaming ]
Well, in here, you are
Prisoner 7-5-6-2.
195
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,873
If you open your mouth,
we will shut it.
196
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,042
If you extend a second,
telescoping mouth,
197
00:06:57,082 --> 00:06:59,169
we will teleport you
into solid rock.
198
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,046
Guard: I don't want to hear
a single villain monologue
199
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,174
from you worms or a single worm
monologue from you villains.
200
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,929
From here on out, your ass,
ovipositor, pellet tube,
201
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,556
fecal portal,
or possessed car trunk
202
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,934
belongs to me!
203
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,644
Jeffries: Triangle mint
on a triangle tray?
204
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,770
Thanks.
I'm good.
205
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:17,896
I know what you're thinking --
206
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,648
"That's a pretty pointy shape
207
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,650
to base an entire prison's
interior decor around."
208
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,818
But half these animals
have razor-sharp bones,
209
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,571
and the other half can suck
your soul through your nostrils,
210
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,657
so why use a plastic
butter knife, right?
211
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,325
I'm mostly worried
about the very large,
212
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,911
triangular trophy displayed
on that remarkably high shelf.
213
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,871
Ah! You're thinking
if there's a big riot
214
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,040
and a climactic showdown
in this office,
215
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,751
I'll end up impaled
by a symbol of my hubris.
216
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,878
Well, if so,
I'll welcome that death.
217
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,589
Oo-rah!
But also we should talk about
218
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,383
how your prisoners
escape a lot.
219
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,968
You're damn right we should.
220
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,261
This prison needs to be
locked down and sealed tight.
221
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:53,723
I've got a thousand guards,
and I can trust about 50.
222
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,517
And they're all marines.
Marines!
223
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,519
Guys, maybe we could
take a look at the site
224
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,979
of the Loch Ness Monster
escape?
225
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,855
I mean, it's just a wall
with a big hole in it,
226
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,857
but if you really think
looking at it will help...
227
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,652
Sorry.
I brought my boss.
228
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,947
[ Humming ]
229
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,866
Hey, Mister Newbie,
can I ask you a question?
230
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,411
Are you gonna squeal
like a piggy when I...
231
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:17,706
[demonic voice] rend and mince
the soft puckered flesh
232
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,707
of your sphincter?!
233
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,668
Yeah, yeah.
You're a Soul Ganderer.
234
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,254
You can't touch people
that don't look at you.
235
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,464
[ Grumbling ]
236
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,258
He'll try to get you
with a mirror tonight.
237
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,428
I don't need a prison tutor.
Oh, that's probably true.
238
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,054
You are doing better
than Dracula.
239
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,389
Blah. Blah.
240
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,307
[ Sniffles ] Blah.
[ Cries ]
241
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,559
Hey.
Nosfor-cock-tu.
242
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:39,852
[ Laughs ]
243
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,479
You'll never be cool.
244
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,231
Uh-huh.
245
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,319
Hey, you scanning
the room?
246
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,238
It's my job to scan.
247
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,657
He didn't mean any harm,
Metaldetectoid.
248
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,118
If I want any information
from you, I'll scan you.
249
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,162
The only thing
I'm scanning right now
250
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,664
is this half-breed's
triangle jello.
251
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,999
You should recalibrate.
252
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,834
Ah!
Ah, shit, my lens!
253
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,711
It's pretty crazy
he didn't scan that coming.
254
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,172
Oh, my God,
I-I'm seeing color bars!
255
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,923
Jeffries:
This is where Nessie got out.
256
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,759
Triple-plated steel.
Electrified.
257
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,762
Voltage wasn't
Scottish Dinosaur-rated, though.
258
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,847
That's on me.
Takes a man to admit that.
259
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,265
What are all these doors?
260
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,059
Part of my new inmate
work initiative.
261
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,852
We have the prisoners
paint the doors.
262
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,353
I got the idea
from "Monsters, Inc."
263
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,856
Huh?
I got a prison
full of monsters, right?
264
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,441
Why not put 'em to work?
Right, right.
265
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,984
Like a one-eyed Billy Crystal.
266
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,944
That's what I called
my wiener in the Marines.
267
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,363
Hey!
Do that thing differently!
268
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,823
Sir, this is getting
ridiculous.
269
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,241
You've completely dropped
your standards
270
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,701
and are letting
this guy slide on everything
271
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,203
because he's a Marine.
That's accurate.
272
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,871
But is that
what a Marine would do?
273
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,372
Nice try.
The answer is yes.
274
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,708
Because the marines are
pre-vetted by the Marines.
275
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,502
If you can be a Marine,
you can do anything.
276
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,879
As long as there's a Pixar movie
to guide you, I guess?
277
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,048
Would it be more rational
for them to make license plates?
278
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,549
Did that trope ever make sense?
279
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,384
He's just making
the place efficient.
280
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,761
Like the Post Office.
281
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,805
Ooh, goddamn,
I love the Post Office.
282
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,057
Friends, my apologies.
No problem.
283
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,558
You said you had
a voltage issue?
284
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,851
Should we look at
your power grid?
285
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,353
That is
next to the game room.
286
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,521
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!
287
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,855
Oo-rah!
Yeah!
288
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,232
I'm just going to...
check out some...
289
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,691
Who cares? You're gone.
290
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,153
Whoa!
Sorry, can't let you do that.
291
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,364
New protocols --
you said no snooping.
292
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,698
Yeah, but I think we just need
293
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,242
to crawl in this hole
and make sure.
294
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,119
Kinda defeats the purpose
of having guidelines.
295
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,538
You want me to deactivate
so you can do some bad shit?
296
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,331
No, no, I want guidelines.
297
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,999
It's just this once, okay?
298
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,793
If I do it again, you can double
down on the restrictions.
299
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,379
Sounds like a slippery slope,
but alrighty!
300
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,422
[ Panting ]
301
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,926
Hey. Those guards --
302
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,594
you think they could help
move some contraband?
303
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:37,971
Har! Narc much?
304
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,931
[ Laughing ]
Yar-har-har-har!
305
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,850
He heard a rumor
you're an undercover cop.
306
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,518
Why would anyone think that?
307
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,061
Eh, I can't speak for them.
308
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,355
Me, I've got telepathic
filaments in my tentacles,
309
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:50,900
so I actually know you're
working for The President.
310
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,027
Hey, relax.
I'm telling you I know
311
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,238
because I want you to find
what you're looking for
312
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,614
before you get killed.
313
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,575
And what am I looking for?
It's not what.
314
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,285
It's where.
And where is that?
315
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,371
Mm, let's just say you're --
Will you fucking stop?!
316
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,249
So-rry! God-uh!
317
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,418
[ Panting ]
[ Machinery hums ]
318
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,460
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
319
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:10,670
Ahh! Ugh!
320
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,088
Ugh! Ugh!
321
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,923
Jesus!
322
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,427
"Prisoner Not Found."
323
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,721
Why am I not surprised?
324
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,474
Ow! What the hell?
Hi again!
325
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,102
Looks like you're about to jack
into a dead sentient android.
326
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,438
That's bad.
I'm just accessing its memory,
327
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,315
probably to bring its killers
to justice.
328
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,151
But you said to double down
if you broke protocol again.
329
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,321
Oh, my God.
if I do something actually bad,
330
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,906
you can make it hurt.
331
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,158
Until then, override and
give me some damn flexibility.
332
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,703
[ Scoffs ] Don't yell at me.
You programmed me.
333
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,414
Android: Ahhh!
I-I can't take it anymore!
334
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,374
Hernandez, help
me tighten these restraints.
335
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,960
Is it a weird time to say I'm
morally conflicted about this?
336
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,296
No, it's the perfect time,
Hernandez!
337
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,714
Ahhh!
338
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,674
[ Electronic beeping ]
339
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,801
I need to find Hernandez.
340
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,929
[ Squishing ]
Ugh.
341
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,139
Okay.
Side quest completed.
342
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,391
[ Door buzzing ]
That's it. East Wing.
343
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,976
That's where Nessie went?
344
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,645
Guards tried to take him there,
and he went berserk.
345
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,564
Hell, I don't blame him -- you
go there, you never come back.
346
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,066
That's why the escapees
347
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,360
are registered as deceased
before they leave.
348
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,278
They're not being helped
from inside.
349
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,822
They're being marked for death
and doing their best to get out.
350
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,824
[ Whistle blows ]
Guard:
Yard time is over, freaks!
351
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,952
Get your ugly asses, carapaces,
352
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,746
and prehensile tails
back inside now!
353
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,456
Not you two.
You know what happens
354
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,875
when inmates try to find out
if we're corrupt, don't ya?
355
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,543
You reveal your corruption?
356
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,836
It's the least we can do.
357
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,047
Hey, Metaldetectoid,
you hungry?
358
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,675
Yeah.
For unfinished beef.
359
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,051
How is this a threat?
360
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,552
I already beat this guy up
in one move.
361
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,054
And by scanning that move,
362
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,723
I extrapolated
your entire combat style.
363
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,226
Prepare to fight...yourself!
364
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,602
Rahh!
365
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,979
[ Grunting ]
366
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,272
Why would fighting yourself
367
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,148
be harder than fighting
a stranger?!
368
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,526
I fight myself every day!
369
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,945
[ Grunting intensely ]
370
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,571
Hey! Hey!
Whoa, take it easy!
371
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:03,366
We get it, man! You're good
at kicking your own ass!
372
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,243
[ Bleats ]
You get a pack of cigs
when you kill 'em.
373
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,078
Use your horns.
He's feisty.
374
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,330
If you think
I'm scared of a leprechaun,
375
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,082
you don't know goat.
376
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,750
[ Breathing heavily ]
377
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,168
Spider:
You think I'm stupid?
378
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,920
I'm not fighting them
for a pack of cigs!
379
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,673
But I would do it
for a picture of your wife.
380
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,466
Deal.
381
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,260
Mm-mm-mmm.
382
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,346
What's a hot spider like her
even doing with a guy like you?
383
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,931
Maybe it's not really
my wife.
384
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,266
Maybe I've been giving you
photos of spiders
385
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,184
to make you do shit.
[ Sighs ]
386
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,104
Tangled in the web
of my own porn addiction.
387
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,358
Both: ♪ We're eagle, globe,
and anchor ♪
388
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,776
♪ We fight
with piss and rancor ♪
389
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,694
♪ Semper Fi, that's my guy ♪
390
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:40,945
Marines!
391
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,447
Yeah! [ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]
392
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,781
It's amazing, isn't it?
393
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,241
We were both soldiers,
394
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,618
and now we're each kings
of our own domains.
395
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,912
In a way, you've got a
harder country to run than I do.
396
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,622
Trying to contain
all these monsters.
397
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,459
Well, if they let me run
it the way I really want,
398
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,918
both of us could be happy.
399
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,296
♪ The world is full,
of different folks ♪
400
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,340
♪ And some of them
are monsters ♪
401
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,800
♪ They're not like us,
so lock them up ♪
402
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,720
♪ And seal their screams
forever ♪
403
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,806
♪ If the cells get full,
you cull the herd ♪
404
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,850
♪ And their deaths
will be my -- ♪
405
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,269
Ho! Whoa!
Okay, a little extreme.
406
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,979
I didn't know you'd go
full Nazi.
407
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,273
Aren't people who call
people Nazis the real Nazis?
408
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,650
[ Cellphone ringing ]
Nope. Answer your phone.
409
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,943
This is Jeffries.
410
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,112
Christ. Alright, I'm coming.
411
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,614
What was that?
Fight in the yard.
412
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,283
A new leprenoid
killed 20% of Cell Block D.
413
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,534
Uh, about that.
414
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,994
The "leprenoid's" mine.
415
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,121
Before I came, I, uh --
I put him undercover
416
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,332
because I thought you might
be...incompetent.
417
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,376
Oh.
Quite the "oo-rah" move.
418
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,294
Right?
But you can bring him up here.
419
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,837
He won't be causing you
any more trouble.
420
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,589
You're right about that.
421
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:42,715
"Guard button?"
422
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,092
Oh, wait -- what is this?
423
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,843
I'm sorry it had to come
to this, Curtis.
424
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,261
So really it's a door button.
425
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,013
The guards were
already waiting behind the door.
426
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,848
Also, you really think
you can get away with this?
427
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,016
I'm the President!
428
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,684
You're in the Bermuda Triangle.
429
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,645
It would have been weirder
if you'd made it back home.
430
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,189
Rgh! I guess you pushed the
"bag over the head" button?!
431
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,607
Ugh!
432
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,526
[ Groaning ] Huh?
433
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,944
What is -- What is this?
434
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,362
[ Grunts ]
435
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,989
[ Sighs ] Can't believe
I trusted that monster.
436
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,449
Not always a bad thing, sir.
437
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,077
O'Doyle?
I came in here hating
these freaks,
438
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,497
but I found kindness
in a radioactive Swamptopus.
439
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,706
Hi.
440
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,125
How radioactive is he?
441
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,335
Like a laptop
on a crotch or...?
442
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,712
Jeffries: Alright, test subjects
are locked in.
443
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,047
Canisters are online.
444
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,674
Begin the extraction!
445
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,093
Aghh! God in heaven!
446
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,053
[ All screaming ]
447
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,721
Sir, I have a technique
for this --
448
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,724
Imagine every scream brings
your mother closer to orgasm.
449
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,935
What?!
So you deprive her of it!
450
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,604
[ All screaming ]
451
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,231
[ All breathing heavily ]
452
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,066
Jeffries: Did the tank
fill with anything?
453
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,860
No, sir.
Goddammit!
454
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,903
I added microchips
to the canisters.
455
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,364
How is it still not collecting
their screams?
456
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,450
Wait, you're seriously doing
a "Monsters, Inc."?
457
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,868
I told you I was!
458
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,369
You got it backwards,
you idiot.
459
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,204
You're supposed
to use children for the screams.
460
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,415
That's what the doors are for!
461
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,250
We were eventually
going to connect them
462
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,002
to children's closets.
463
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,838
And then, of course...
come the giggles.
464
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,924
Goddammit, how desperate was I
to connect with someone?
465
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,634
Check the wiring
and run it again!
466
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:09,927
Harder!
467
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,345
[ Curtis screaming ]
468
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:14,098
Hey, pal, this East Wing,
Room 213?
469
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:15,766
You know it.
Torture central.
470
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,685
You believe that's the
President of the United States
471
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:18,769
squealing in there?
472
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,979
[ Screams ]
473
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,314
Thank God.
I don't know how long
474
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,940
I could've sustained
that guard accent.
475
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,526
Urgh!
Oh, shit, shit, shit.
476
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,778
[ Screaming continues ]
477
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,322
[ Whirring ]
478
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,073
Ahhh!
479
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,492
What do you think?
Do you like it?
480
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,118
What the fuck?!
Why am I on fire?!
481
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,620
I did what you asked!
482
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,413
You're trying to hack
into a federal prison.
483
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,707
Override!
Just open door 213!
484
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,460
Okay, okay.
Hmm, so many doors.
[ Screaming ]
485
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,129
[ Chuckles ] Might take
a while to find that.
486
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,464
Hmm, let's see.
[ Hums ]
487
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,466
Oh, my God,
just open all the doors!
488
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,800
Ahh!
Thought you'd never ask!
489
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:50,885
I love us. Byeeee!
490
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,053
[ Screams ]
491
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,222
[ Alarm blaring ]
492
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,516
[ Screams ]
I'll never do it again!
493
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,060
Ooh! Pain's gone.
Might do it again.
494
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,646
[ Screaming ]
495
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,314
Stop! Let me go!
496
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,107
All I did was lead
a troubled child
497
00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:06,858
to an eternal realm
of light and love!
498
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,027
Never saw it.
499
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:09,694
[ Babies cooing ]
Blah!
500
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,156
[ Babies crying ]
501
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,160
[ Laughing ]
Yar-ha-ah-ha-har!
502
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,663
[ Whispers indistinctly ]
503
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,959
Oh shit! Oh, God!
I've been so mean to them!
504
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,210
[ Panting ]
505
00:17:24,292 --> 00:17:25,545
Oh, it's just you.
506
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:29,048
What are you gonna do,
turn into a bat?
507
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,883
[ Gasping ]
508
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,010
No, no, no -- Agh!
509
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,679
Meeting adjourned.
510
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:39,350
Check out me, Dracula,
in "Monster Squad," 1987.
511
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,185
What the hell is going on?!
512
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,020
[ Tires screech ]
513
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,730
Thanks for the lift,
Evil Haunted Car.
514
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,817
♪ I'm not haunted,
I'm just evil ♪
515
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,360
You!
516
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:52,863
♪ It's time to chase you down ♪
Ahh!
517
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,283
Banks!
Holy shit, way to go!
518
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,617
I know, right?
I'm kind of awesome.
519
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,202
I should've listened to you,
Banks.
520
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,662
I got so sucked up
in Marine culture
521
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,206
and bro-ing out,
I-I took my eyes off the ball.
522
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,208
I was wrong, too, sir.
There's things in here
523
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,668
that need to stay
locked up forever.
524
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,212
Yeah,
but not all of them.
Hi.
525
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,423
So, all our lessons
cancel each other out?
526
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,134
Maybe the lesson is that,
together, we learn nothing.
527
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,885
Can we just go back
to that evil car?
528
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,263
I mean, if it was making up
original songs to communicate,
529
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,848
why not just talk?
530
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,725
So much extra work.
531
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,518
[ Minion snarling ]
532
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,394
Right. Let's go!
533
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,771
[ All grunting, panting ]
534
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,858
[ Beeping ]
535
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,027
TV ghost!
536
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,903
This is why you need
ghost walls!
537
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:36,449
[ Grunts ]
Jeff Dunham should be
in this cell, not me!
538
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,618
[ Groans ]
[ Beeping ]
539
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,952
[ Girl giggling ]
540
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,412
Um, guys?
541
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,414
You wanna play a game?
542
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,583
It's called oopsies killsies.
543
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,168
Nobody look at her.
She can't hurt you
544
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,586
if you don't look.
I already did.
545
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,588
Yeah, obviously I did.
I said "um, guys"
546
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,964
to draw everyone's attention
to her.
547
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,257
Yeah,
I looked at her, too.
548
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,092
[ Giggles ]
Here comes the...
549
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,429
[demonic voice]
predictable big voice!
550
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,805
Shit, shit, shit! Run!
551
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,058
[ Laughs evilly ]
552
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,310
[ Growls ]
553
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:08,522
Get ready to be
a head on my shoulders!
554
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:11,776
[ Engine shuts off ]
555
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,195
Sometimes the best way
to fly is to land!
556
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,072
Amelia!
Whoa!
Big assist!
557
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,240
You, ma'am,
are a legend!
558
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,369
Well, now fucking what?
559
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,371
Stupid... [ Grumbling ]
560
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,206
It's over,
you piece of shit.
561
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,290
You ruined it!
562
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,000
You know how long I plotted
563
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,002
to get that scream power?!
564
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,253
Was any of today real?
565
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,296
Were you even a Marine?
566
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,798
Of course I was,
567
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,591
but I got kicked out
for killing another Marine
568
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,760
and pirating "Toy Story,"
not in that order.
569
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,179
So this whole time,
you were the real monster.
570
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,765
Obviously!
They gave me a trophy for it!
571
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:43,974
[ Ding! ]
572
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,476
Oo-rah!
573
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,644
Ugh! Ow!
574
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,312
Ahh!
575
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,606
Ugh! [ Groans ]
576
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,984
I saw this coming.
[ Groans] I set it up.
577
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,403
You better tell the people
578
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,780
that I-I died getting out
in front of it.
579
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,782
Ow! [ Groans ]
580
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:02,326
[ Canister humming ]
581
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,495
Did that canister
just fill up with power?
582
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,747
It looks like
he accidentally
583
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,582
invented a way
to contain irony.
584
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,918
What? Didn't he just tape
microchips and wires
585
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,045
to the outside of a scuba tank
with a horn on it?
586
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,338
[ Canister hums, dings ]
587
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,881
Okay, we get it.
588
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,466
Eh, that should do it.
589
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:19,009
All set, Mr. President.
590
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,177
Bit tricky figuring out
591
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,595
how to get a consistent signal
592
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,472
through a pocket
of intangible ether.
593
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,850
But you were in a pinch,
and you called Finch.
594
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,686
Yes, Finch,
you're a very memorable person.
595
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,854
[ Line ringing ]
596
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,439
[ Telephone rings ]
Warden Earhart.
597
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,941
Amelia, you've got
a direct line to me now,
598
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:35,359
I want open communication
599
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:36,777
between the Triangle
and my office.
600
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,029
Of course, sir.
And do I get a secretary?
601
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,364
Is she gonna be hot?
602
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,366
Uhh, I-I'll see
what's in the budget.
603
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,910
Also how is the, uh,
Swamptopus?
604
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,413
He's doing good.
Started tutoring other monsters,
605
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,290
trying to help them
get their GEDs.
606
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,791
See, in my day,
I was a monster
607
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,501
for having boobies
and flying a plane.
608
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,295
These rag-a-muffins
deserve a chance
609
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,504
to be seen differently,
too.
610
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:56,839
You're the boss, Amelia.
611
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,048
Thanks, Mr. President!
612
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,550
And good boobie-bye.
613
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,470
Welp, seems like our
secret monster Guantanamo's
614
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,722
finally in good hands.
And as for me,
615
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,475
instead of limiting my behavior
with painful internal protocols,
616
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,436
I've decided to trust myself
with a more subtle reminder.
617
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,730
[ Telephone ringing ]
618
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,648
Wait, which one is ringing?
619
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,276
They need to jiggle when they
ring so I have a visual cue.
620
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,861
I think it's the pentagram.
621
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,071
What happens if I answer
and they're not calling?
622
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,073
Then it calls them.
[ Groans ]
623
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,117
Hang on, I got this.
624
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,536
[ Door whirs ]
625
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:30,289
[ Muffled ringing ]
626
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,208
Alright, I'll add a jiggle.
627
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:33,918
God-uhh!
628
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:40,007
♪ Sometimes monsters
go to prison ♪
629
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,426
♪ Sometimes they don't ♪
630
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:46,597
♪ Sometimes
we're the real monsters ♪
631
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:51,143
♪ When the monster
is our shame ♪
632
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:53,437
♪ But who's to blame ♪
633
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:58,776
♪ If we don't wash our balls? ♪
634
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,278
[ Chuckling ]
Blah! Blah!
635
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,530
Who's that?
636
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,531
You don't want to fuck
with him.
637
00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:04,657
He used to get picked on,
638
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,450
but then he turned into a bat,
639
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,118
flew into
a prison guard's mouth,
640
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,162
and turned back into Dracula.
641
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,622
Inside the guy.
642
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,957
So, if I fight him,
643
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,792
I just need to keep
my mouth closed?
644
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,961
Are you talking about
Dracula?
645
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,629
Mind your own business.
[ Hisses ]
646
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,131
You did it now, fish!
647
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,758
[ Bat grunting ]
648
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,135
[ Indistinct shouting,
cheering ]
47595
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof