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1
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NATURE'S GAME SHOW
2
00:00:05,748 --> 00:00:08,345
{\pos(192,230)}I can't decide
which list item to do today.
3
00:00:08,505 --> 00:00:10,472
{\pos(192,230)}"Pushed Slow Roger
down a hill in the Porta-Potti"
4
00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:12,424
{\pos(192,230)}or "Got the baby-sitter pregnant."
5
00:00:13,968 --> 00:00:17,021
{\pos(192,230)}Here's an idea.
Here's a crazy idea.
6
00:00:17,141 --> 00:00:19,731
{\pos(192,210)}How about for once,
we do what I want to do?
7
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,192
{\pos(192,210)}And I might not know
what that is right now,
8
00:00:22,352 --> 00:00:23,744
{\pos(192,210)}but I know what it's not...
9
00:00:23,864 --> 00:00:26,086
doing another item
on your stupid list!
10
00:00:26,206 --> 00:00:27,806
Maybe it was my imagination,
11
00:00:27,926 --> 00:00:30,129
but Randy seemed
kind of stressed out this morning.
12
00:00:30,249 --> 00:00:31,615
{\pos(192,180)}And he wasn't the only one.
13
00:00:31,735 --> 00:00:33,443
{\pos(192,180)}How you gonna sit there and tell me
14
00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:36,539
{\pos(192,210)}that MacGuyver wouldn't be the most
awesome president of the USA ever?
15
00:00:36,699 --> 00:00:38,500
{\pos(192,210)}He's a fictional character, Joy.
16
00:00:39,283 --> 00:00:42,504
{\pos(192,210)}Fictional characters are in books.
MacGuyver's on TV.
17
00:00:42,872 --> 00:00:44,413
{\pos(192,210)}I'm not gonna argue about this.
18
00:00:45,725 --> 00:00:48,386
{\pos(192,210)}I hate when you say that.
It sound like you think you can win
19
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,505
{\pos(192,210)}the argument if you wanted to
but I'm too stupid to argue with.
20
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,851
Argue with me!
21
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,476
For some reason,
tensions were higher than normal.
22
00:00:57,127 --> 00:01:00,083
{\pos(192,210)}Even laid-back Catalina
had her G-string in a bunch.
23
00:01:02,817 --> 00:01:03,854
{\pos(192,210)}That's it.
24
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:09,233
Go ahead, take a squeeze,
so I can eat in peace.
25
00:01:09,353 --> 00:01:10,638
Take a squeeze!
26
00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:13,451
Yup, something was definitely
in the air that morning.
27
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- Give me my list back.
- Why don't you come and get it?
28
00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:22,085
Maybe it was a coincidence
that people were acting odd,
29
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or maybe it was
like your animals get freaked out
30
00:01:24,541 --> 00:01:27,211
right before an earthquake
or a tsunami or a...
31
00:01:27,469 --> 00:01:29,978
Oh, my God,
it's a giant swirly wind thingy!
32
00:01:30,098 --> 00:01:31,678
... or as they call it on the news...
33
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Tornado!
34
00:01:34,048 --> 00:01:36,960
The tornado ditch was the trailer park
version of a storm shelter.
35
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,981
And in Camden, it got a lot of use.
36
00:01:39,101 --> 00:01:41,334
Remember, if we get separated,
37
00:01:41,454 --> 00:01:44,370
we all meet back
where the trailer used to be.
38
00:01:46,144 --> 00:01:47,583
After the tornado passed,
39
00:01:47,703 --> 00:01:50,529
it became clear why we called it
nature's game show.
40
00:01:50,649 --> 00:01:52,575
Anything on the ground
is finders keepers.
41
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,833
Kids, remember, shiny before heavy!
42
00:01:55,304 --> 00:01:56,244
I got it!
43
00:01:56,404 --> 00:01:57,878
That's mine right there.
44
00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,338
Earl, look!
45
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:05,920
Steaks!
46
00:02:06,261 --> 00:02:07,815
Finders keepers!
47
00:02:07,935 --> 00:02:10,052
Just keep an eye out for my list.
48
00:02:17,634 --> 00:02:19,684
I got a boat!
This is awesome!
49
00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:22,312
Now we can live
just like The Love Boat.
50
00:02:22,979 --> 00:02:25,992
You want to be Isaac,
Julie or that pervy doctor?
51
00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:30,612
Wait, I take that back.
I want to be the pervy doctor.
52
00:02:31,301 --> 00:02:33,341
Catalina hadn't lived
in Camden that long,
53
00:02:33,461 --> 00:02:35,450
so she wasn't used to tornadoes.
54
00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:37,500
Or the finders keepers rule.
55
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Finders keepers!
56
00:02:41,234 --> 00:02:44,503
But that's my purse.
It's imitation imitation Gucci.
57
00:02:45,326 --> 00:02:47,862
It's mine now.
That's the rules.
58
00:02:47,982 --> 00:02:50,548
You don't see me bitching
about losing my diaphragm.
59
00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:53,885
That's my shoe!
60
00:02:54,221 --> 00:02:55,303
This isn't fair.
61
00:02:55,463 --> 00:02:58,595
Fair? I got 1,500 on my SATs.
62
00:02:58,715 --> 00:03:00,058
Life ain't fair.
63
00:03:00,756 --> 00:03:03,028
Catalina didn't like
having her stuff stolen,
64
00:03:03,148 --> 00:03:05,980
but she was about to learn
the meaning of that old American saying,
65
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:07,524
"Don't get mad. Get even."
66
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,583
Everybody freeze!
67
00:03:13,439 --> 00:03:15,229
I am sick of being walked on!
68
00:03:15,349 --> 00:03:16,974
I am walked on as an immigrant!
69
00:03:17,094 --> 00:03:18,701
I am walked on as a maid!
70
00:03:18,974 --> 00:03:21,314
I am walked on as a stripper!
Literally.
71
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:24,707
There's a guy who comes in on Wednesdays
who's into that sort of thing!
72
00:03:24,998 --> 00:03:26,376
So give me back my purse.
73
00:03:27,898 --> 00:03:29,128
And my shoe.
74
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,466
And, Patty, I like that watch.
75
00:03:34,225 --> 00:03:36,970
You know what?
Give me everything.
76
00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:38,510
You heard her, folks.
77
00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:41,015
Gun rules trump tornado rules.
78
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,945
Darnell, look! A Bible!
79
00:03:45,231 --> 00:03:47,021
I wonder
if this is some kind of sign.
80
00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:48,555
Doubtful.
81
00:03:48,675 --> 00:03:50,999
Natural disasters are stressful times
in which people ascribe
82
00:03:51,119 --> 00:03:53,443
heightened meaning
to random events of physics.
83
00:03:53,563 --> 00:03:56,197
I think a Bible just got blown
onto the steps.
84
00:03:56,876 --> 00:03:59,863
And I guess Adam and Eve just got blown
into the Garden of Apples.
85
00:03:59,983 --> 00:04:01,616
Things happen for a reason.
86
00:04:02,045 --> 00:04:03,496
I'm not going to argue.
87
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:05,691
There you... Damn it!
88
00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:08,077
Stop treating me like I'm stupid!
89
00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:13,021
I'm not treating you
like you're stupid.
90
00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:15,852
You have very strong opinions
that you don't seem to want to change,
91
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:17,638
and I don't want arguing all day
92
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,568
with the most beautiful girl
in the trailer park.
93
00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:23,239
Don't you talk down to me.
94
00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:25,284
I know
when I'm being comprehended to.
95
00:04:25,404 --> 00:04:27,212
You think you're smarter than me.
96
00:04:27,332 --> 00:04:28,916
I am smarter than you.
97
00:04:31,024 --> 00:04:32,442
But that doesn't make me better.
98
00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:34,331
You're stronger
99
00:04:34,451 --> 00:04:37,126
and you know all the words
to Total Eclipse of the Heart.
100
00:04:37,246 --> 00:04:38,892
Not to mention that, statistically,
101
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,879
you're at a lower risk
for heart disease,
102
00:04:40,999 --> 00:04:42,284
so kudos for that, huh?
103
00:04:44,475 --> 00:04:45,498
It's gone.
104
00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:47,213
The list is gone.
105
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:50,251
Great.
Now I gotta rewrite the whole thing.
106
00:04:50,411 --> 00:04:52,450
I think
these steaks came premarinated.
107
00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:56,216
I swear this one smells like wine
or whiskey or some kind of alcohol.
108
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,057
I don't think
I want those steaks, Randy.
109
00:04:59,177 --> 00:05:00,639
They don't belong to us.
110
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,726
None of this stuff belongs to us.
111
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:06,059
I bet someone's really missing
those steaks right now.
112
00:05:06,642 --> 00:05:07,727
And that boat.
113
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,796
Those people would be
the losers weepers.
114
00:05:10,916 --> 00:05:13,536
What's the matter with you, Earl?
You love finders keepers.
115
00:05:13,656 --> 00:05:14,943
During the last tornado,
116
00:05:15,104 --> 00:05:17,820
you got that cool blue door
for the El Camino.
117
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:22,419
You know what?
118
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,655
I bet that's why I lost my list.
119
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,329
Karma did it.
120
00:05:26,817 --> 00:05:29,490
So I'd realize
what losing something feels like.
121
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,335
I gotta add that blue door
to my new list.
122
00:05:33,944 --> 00:05:34,796
What's this?
123
00:05:35,226 --> 00:05:38,633
We're going to find out who's smarter.
I can beat you at any game. Pick one.
124
00:05:39,016 --> 00:05:40,551
Uno, Jacks, Twister...
125
00:05:40,711 --> 00:05:42,575
Those aren't about intellect.
126
00:05:43,248 --> 00:05:44,052
Fine.
127
00:05:45,784 --> 00:05:48,184
Operation.
That's a game made by doctors.
128
00:05:51,289 --> 00:05:52,480
Here comes another one!
129
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,285
Boys, get in here
and tie yourselves to your mother!
130
00:05:55,405 --> 00:05:56,901
We're going back to the ditch!
131
00:05:57,842 --> 00:05:58,736
You, next!
132
00:05:59,138 --> 00:06:01,614
Catalina was about to change
the way the world treated her
133
00:06:01,734 --> 00:06:04,075
but, instead, something changed her.
134
00:06:06,154 --> 00:06:07,072
A Bible.
135
00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:09,348
Dios mio!
136
00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:13,963
Another tornado has been sighted
here in Camden,
137
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:16,520
and it looks
like there's more to come!
138
00:06:18,714 --> 00:06:20,341
Was that my daughter?
139
00:06:26,071 --> 00:06:29,071
They said there's another one coming!
You gotta get inside!
140
00:06:29,191 --> 00:06:30,544
No can do, Earl.
141
00:06:30,664 --> 00:06:32,729
A captain always goes down
with his ship.
142
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:36,649
Fine. Suit yourself.
But don't come crying to me when...
143
00:06:45,476 --> 00:06:46,989
Oh, my God! Randy!
144
00:06:47,971 --> 00:06:50,699
My brother got sucked up
into the tornado!
145
00:06:50,945 --> 00:06:51,746
Quick!
146
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:54,995
Everybody drag your mattresses
into the parking lot!
147
00:07:03,544 --> 00:07:05,592
You're not dead. Thank God.
148
00:07:06,328 --> 00:07:07,678
I'm so sorry.
149
00:07:07,798 --> 00:07:10,349
Why are you sorry?
I've never felt more alive!
150
00:07:10,581 --> 00:07:13,262
I rode a tornado. I was flying!
151
00:07:13,538 --> 00:07:15,855
And you should see
all the stuff up here.
152
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,551
Like a toaster...
153
00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,332
tennis racket...
154
00:07:20,014 --> 00:07:21,364
skateboard...
155
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,303
A gun.
156
00:07:26,091 --> 00:07:27,400
Damn it, Randy!
157
00:07:27,631 --> 00:07:29,452
What have I told you
about throwing guns?
158
00:07:29,612 --> 00:07:31,496
Right. Not to do it.
159
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,124
There's a half a kitty cat up here.
160
00:07:35,284 --> 00:07:38,711
You wouldn't believe
what they put inside a kitty cat.
161
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:42,042
It's like really gross soup
and snakes...
162
00:07:47,608 --> 00:07:49,633
Check it out! We got a boat!
163
00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:51,432
You are so smart.
164
00:07:52,066 --> 00:07:53,803
Is that what that is?
A boat?
165
00:07:53,923 --> 00:07:56,634
I didn't know that.
I thought it was a herd of lions.
166
00:07:57,016 --> 00:07:59,399
Actually, a group of lions
is called a "pride."
167
00:07:59,559 --> 00:08:01,526
I knew that. It's in The Lion King.
168
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:02,825
Shut up!
169
00:08:03,245 --> 00:08:05,645
So you know a bunch of stuff
that's in a cartoon.
170
00:08:05,765 --> 00:08:07,854
I'm the kind of smart
that people care about.
171
00:08:07,974 --> 00:08:10,701
- the kind that matters the street.
- What kind is that?
172
00:08:10,861 --> 00:08:14,163
Street smart, dumbass, which clearly
you're not or you'd have known that.
173
00:08:14,323 --> 00:08:16,574
"Street smart" is just something
dumb people say
174
00:08:16,694 --> 00:08:19,252
when they want to use the word "smart"
to describe themselves.
175
00:08:19,777 --> 00:08:21,212
Dumb people, huh?
176
00:08:22,341 --> 00:08:23,673
Okay, Mr. Genius.
177
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:26,791
Let's see how brilliant you are when
you don't have a place to sleep
178
00:08:26,911 --> 00:08:29,108
'cause you won't be in the trailer
that I was smart enough
179
00:08:29,228 --> 00:08:31,320
to get my name on the deed
and you weren't.
180
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,473
That's not smart.
181
00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:34,542
You married Earl
and had him sign it over to you
182
00:08:34,662 --> 00:08:36,400
when he was whacked-out on morphine.
183
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,456
That's right. Street smart.
184
00:08:39,140 --> 00:08:41,483
Everybody got their stuff back
from Catalina.
185
00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:42,653
She didn't care.
186
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,162
She was in the middle
of a religious experience.
187
00:08:45,282 --> 00:08:47,316
God slapped a gun out of my hand.
188
00:08:47,436 --> 00:08:49,584
He knew I had evil in my heart.
189
00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:52,930
I know I say this all the time
to get bigger tips,
190
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:56,061
but I truly have been
a very bad girl.
191
00:08:56,181 --> 00:08:58,744
And she wasn't
the only one feeling guilty.
192
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,109
I know the Bible hit you,
193
00:09:02,229 --> 00:09:05,295
but there's a decent chance
He was aiming at me.
194
00:09:05,415 --> 00:09:07,800
I once got pregnant
with the Devil's baby.
195
00:09:08,878 --> 00:09:12,618
The Devil's the mascot
at the local junior college, but still.
196
00:09:13,758 --> 00:09:15,972
It was so cool when I was flying!
197
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:18,213
The only thing I'd change is,
next time,
198
00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:21,093
I'd bring a couple tiny bags
of peanuts with me.
199
00:09:21,525 --> 00:09:22,875
You didn't fly, Randy.
200
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,318
You got thrown up
on the roof by a tornado.
201
00:09:25,478 --> 00:09:26,875
You're a naysayer.
202
00:09:26,995 --> 00:09:30,656
Just like all those people that said
that Orville Redenbacher couldn't fly.
203
00:09:30,816 --> 00:09:33,618
Another tornado has just ripped
through Nathanville,
204
00:09:33,778 --> 00:09:35,828
and it's been spotted heading
towards Camden.
205
00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:37,742
I'm gonna ride the sky, Earl.
206
00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:39,529
Time to ride the sky!
207
00:09:42,746 --> 00:09:45,011
Yes, Dodge, it was very smart of me
208
00:09:45,131 --> 00:09:46,933
to make these silver dollar pancakes
209
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:49,550
with a lighter and a spoon,
heroin-style.
210
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:51,480
Man!
211
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,578
Mama made teeny pancakes,
212
00:09:53,698 --> 00:09:56,746
and all I did was use the boat's motor
to charge the battery
213
00:09:56,866 --> 00:09:59,183
so I could hook up a TV/VCR
214
00:09:59,303 --> 00:10:01,336
for some Sponge Bob videos
215
00:10:01,456 --> 00:10:03,064
and this Sno-Kone machine.
216
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,691
Got our favorite flavor... blue.
217
00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:07,902
Look!
218
00:10:08,164 --> 00:10:09,884
I guess you love me too much
219
00:10:10,004 --> 00:10:11,447
to run to your father!
220
00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:13,347
Baby, look what we're doing.
221
00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:15,052
I'm pimping out a fishing boat.
222
00:10:15,172 --> 00:10:17,411
You turned the boys into
some kind of love yo-yos.
223
00:10:17,757 --> 00:10:19,747
This doesn't seem
like good parenting.
224
00:10:20,018 --> 00:10:22,416
Don't you lecture me!
I'm a good parent.
225
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,543
I would never let
anything happen to my...
226
00:10:26,419 --> 00:10:27,623
Hold on, boys!
227
00:10:28,359 --> 00:10:29,747
Mama's got you!
228
00:10:30,314 --> 00:10:31,219
Hold on!
229
00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:35,019
Between the weather and the Bible,
Catalina and Patty were pretty sure
230
00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:37,203
the man upstairs
was trying to tell them something.
231
00:10:37,323 --> 00:10:38,562
The question was what.
232
00:10:38,682 --> 00:10:41,599
Please, God, we just need a sign!
233
00:10:43,355 --> 00:10:44,919
Was that the sign?
234
00:10:46,904 --> 00:10:48,317
That's the sign!
235
00:10:48,477 --> 00:10:49,434
An ark!
236
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,072
Just like in the Bible.
237
00:10:52,824 --> 00:10:54,365
We got to get in that boat.
238
00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:56,807
Floods are coming!
239
00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:03,791
You got to come in!
240
00:11:04,126 --> 00:11:05,736
I'm gonna fly, Earl!
241
00:11:06,151 --> 00:11:08,359
Just like that baby in the stroller.
242
00:11:08,479 --> 00:11:10,522
Lucky baby. Wait up!
243
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:12,758
Okay, I tried to be nice.
244
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,621
Now I'm not giving you a choice.
245
00:11:17,381 --> 00:11:19,041
What are you gonna do, shoot me?
246
00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:21,107
I'm gonna shoot you in the leg,
247
00:11:21,227 --> 00:11:23,528
drag you upstairs to save your life.
248
00:11:26,802 --> 00:11:27,898
Did you shoot me?
249
00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:29,640
Nothing happened.
250
00:11:29,984 --> 00:11:30,985
Do it again.
251
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,076
The hell?
252
00:11:42,053 --> 00:11:45,207
{\pos(192,230)}There was a reason those bullets
didn't hurt Randy. Or his pants.
253
00:11:45,327 --> 00:11:46,546
All right, boys.
254
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:49,253
Time for the annual birthday race!
255
00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:52,798
Are you sure you remembered
to put in the blanks this time?
256
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,149
I miss Mom.
257
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:58,843
On your mark...
258
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,765
Get set...
259
00:12:07,681 --> 00:12:09,405
Twister!
260
00:12:16,297 --> 00:12:18,498
There's no way I missed you twice.
261
00:12:18,918 --> 00:12:20,820
Something weird is going on.
262
00:12:22,814 --> 00:12:23,665
I know.
263
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:27,527
I've been sucked up by a tornado,
shot in the leg,
264
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,085
and nothing's happened to me.
265
00:12:30,718 --> 00:12:31,921
Maybe I'm invincible.
266
00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:35,132
Maybe you are.
Or maybe I'm dreaming.
267
00:12:38,079 --> 00:12:39,329
I'm invincible.
268
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,660
But why?
Why am I invincible?
269
00:12:41,780 --> 00:12:43,057
What am I supposed to do?
270
00:12:50,869 --> 00:12:52,969
I think God made you invincible.
271
00:12:53,759 --> 00:12:54,819
To do good.
272
00:12:57,430 --> 00:12:58,232
Cool.
273
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,428
Finding out God made
your little brother invincible
274
00:13:04,548 --> 00:13:07,081
kinda changes the dynamics
in your relationship.
275
00:13:09,329 --> 00:13:10,220
See, Earl.
276
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:13,026
All we had to do
is take one day off from the list
277
00:13:13,146 --> 00:13:15,506
- and it was the greatest day ever.
- For you.
278
00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:18,555
You get to be invincible
and go save people,
279
00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:21,345
I go to rewrite my whole list
and go do it without you.
280
00:13:21,505 --> 00:13:24,855
Forget the list! Come with me and
watch me do awesome superhero stuff.
281
00:13:24,975 --> 00:13:26,392
We'll get so much as.
282
00:13:26,835 --> 00:13:28,728
I can't just forget the list, Randy.
283
00:13:29,159 --> 00:13:31,313
I can deny my superpowers.
284
00:13:33,171 --> 00:13:35,192
Are you saying
we should do stuff separately?
285
00:13:35,312 --> 00:13:37,854
'Cause that's what it sounds like,
and I don't like it.
286
00:13:37,974 --> 00:13:40,489
Maybe Karma wants us
to take turns with our missions.
287
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:45,619
We can go back and forth between my list
and you helping people.
288
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,746
I think God could live with that.
289
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,295
Look at that.
290
00:13:54,044 --> 00:13:55,853
Mr. Genius's boat is gone.
291
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:58,225
Look, Mom!
292
00:13:58,345 --> 00:14:00,079
I found a gun!
293
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:01,467
Give me that.
294
00:14:01,587 --> 00:14:02,887
You're not 13 yet.
295
00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:04,910
Go look for your daddy.
296
00:14:07,025 --> 00:14:09,134
He's probably off in a ditch
writing a term paper
297
00:14:09,254 --> 00:14:11,373
about how much smarter
he is than me.
298
00:14:11,493 --> 00:14:13,308
I swear to God,
the next time he corrects me
299
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:15,453
on some nerd crap
nobody cares about,
300
00:14:15,573 --> 00:14:18,152
I'm gonna pick him up and
slam his head right through a...
301
00:14:20,147 --> 00:14:21,567
With the Brat out of commission,
302
00:14:21,687 --> 00:14:24,526
Joy had to find a more creative way
to get Darnell to the hospital.
303
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:27,386
Darnell, everything's gonna be okay.
Don't worry about the kids.
304
00:14:27,506 --> 00:14:28,760
I left them with Eugenia.
305
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,206
Told her if she keeps them safe,
I'll bake her a pie.
306
00:14:31,326 --> 00:14:33,683
They'll be fine.
Bitch loves her pie.
307
00:14:34,601 --> 00:14:35,544
May I mambo
308
00:14:36,066 --> 00:14:38,167
dog face to the banana patch?
309
00:14:39,248 --> 00:14:40,498
Michael Landon.
310
00:14:42,117 --> 00:14:44,265
No Michael Landon!
You stay away from him.
311
00:14:44,385 --> 00:14:47,039
You can't die.
You're the smart one.
312
00:14:47,159 --> 00:14:49,239
What if we have
to move the stereo again?
313
00:14:49,359 --> 00:14:51,662
All those cords?
You fight, damn it!
314
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:58,002
I figure I don't have to help everybody
with my superpowers.
315
00:14:58,122 --> 00:15:01,008
Like, if you're a guy
that does experiments on chimpanzees,
316
00:15:01,128 --> 00:15:03,869
and then you're trapped in a tree
by a bunch of chimpanzees,
317
00:15:03,989 --> 00:15:05,908
I'd be like, "Sorry, bro."
318
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:08,986
That seems reasonable.
319
00:15:10,698 --> 00:15:11,678
Over here!
320
00:15:11,798 --> 00:15:14,250
We need two men
to repopulate the Earth.
321
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:16,067
No, thanks.
322
00:15:16,328 --> 00:15:17,578
We have steaks.
323
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,222
I could eat.
324
00:15:22,471 --> 00:15:24,152
Really, it was nothing major.
325
00:15:24,272 --> 00:15:26,721
I just flew up on the roof,
stopped two bullets.
326
00:15:26,841 --> 00:15:29,890
You know, basic first-day
superhero kind of stuff.
327
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,560
Crap, it's Joy.
328
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,958
Hold on, baby.
329
00:15:38,251 --> 00:15:40,014
What happened to Crab Man?
330
00:15:42,973 --> 00:15:45,197
Bless his heart, he took
a header through the trailer wall.
331
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,242
I got to get him to a hospital
before his whole brain leaks out.
332
00:15:48,792 --> 00:15:50,995
I don't think you're gonna make it
to the hospital.
333
00:15:52,906 --> 00:15:55,833
That's the biggest giant,
swirly wind thingy yet!
334
00:15:56,141 --> 00:15:57,969
There's a storm cellar
behind the church.
335
00:15:58,089 --> 00:16:00,412
They used to put special kids
in there for Sunday school.
336
00:16:00,532 --> 00:16:04,184
Yeah, I got to go in there.
Earl didn't 'cause he's not special.
337
00:16:05,544 --> 00:16:07,192
Guys, this is serious.
338
00:16:07,312 --> 00:16:09,763
If you don't get down to that cellar,
you're gonna die.
339
00:16:09,923 --> 00:16:12,453
God wants me and Patty
to stay on the boat.
340
00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,810
If it means we die, then we die.
341
00:16:18,608 --> 00:16:20,075
I'm sorry, sweetie.
342
00:16:20,410 --> 00:16:23,210
I shook off too many diseases
to give up now.
343
00:16:34,531 --> 00:16:36,707
- Damn it, it's locked!
- Step aside!
344
00:16:36,924 --> 00:16:38,667
I'm invincible.
345
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:46,368
I'm vincible!
346
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,502
Move, dummy. I'll do it.
347
00:16:52,925 --> 00:16:56,310
Maybe my invincibility went
into the lock when I hit the door.
348
00:16:56,966 --> 00:16:59,578
The gun's shooting blanks,
you idiot.
349
00:17:01,961 --> 00:17:04,193
What's with the gunshots
and whatnot?
350
00:17:04,353 --> 00:17:05,986
Trying to save your ass!
351
00:17:06,448 --> 00:17:08,198
Unscrew that garden hose!
352
00:17:08,515 --> 00:17:10,278
I'm gonna show you
a little thing I learned
353
00:17:10,398 --> 00:17:11,995
from the king of street smarts:
354
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,376
Mr. MacGyver.
355
00:17:14,762 --> 00:17:16,580
Joy had learned enough
from MacGyver to know
356
00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:19,687
you didn't need bullets
to open a locked cellar.
357
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:21,617
Door's locked!
358
00:17:47,613 --> 00:17:49,196
Are you sure this is gonna work?
359
00:17:56,595 --> 00:17:57,705
Come on, dummies!
360
00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:02,084
Why you doing this?
361
00:18:02,244 --> 00:18:04,086
Because God wants me to!
362
00:18:04,246 --> 00:18:06,171
So you know what God wants?
363
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,633
God wants me to stay on this ark!
364
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,249
God wants me to go with you.
365
00:18:20,002 --> 00:18:23,313
Dag. That plan you came up with
was way beyond street smart.
366
00:18:24,027 --> 00:18:25,733
That was street genius.
367
00:18:25,893 --> 00:18:28,344
They were blanks.
I wasn't invincible.
368
00:18:29,056 --> 00:18:30,195
Probably not.
369
00:18:30,832 --> 00:18:32,789
But you did fly in a tornado.
370
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:34,825
Nobody can take that away from you.
371
00:18:34,985 --> 00:18:36,053
That's true.
372
00:18:36,624 --> 00:18:39,194
At some point,
we're gonna have to talk about the fact
373
00:18:39,314 --> 00:18:42,282
that you tried to shoot me twice.
But not right now.
374
00:18:42,402 --> 00:18:45,544
I really appreciate you dropping
everything and sticking with me.
375
00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:49,193
It's only fair.
You've always stuck with me.
376
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:51,790
Next time you get a mission,
it'll be...
377
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:54,136
one day your mission,
one day my list.
378
00:18:56,828 --> 00:18:58,286
My God! The list!
379
00:19:01,964 --> 00:19:03,669
Where'd you get this?
380
00:19:03,789 --> 00:19:05,856
I found it right away.
It was on the boat.
381
00:19:06,435 --> 00:19:08,564
I was pretty pissed,
so I didn't want to tell you.
382
00:19:08,684 --> 00:19:10,792
And then with
the whole superhero thing,
383
00:19:10,912 --> 00:19:12,613
I guess I just forgot about it.
384
00:19:12,825 --> 00:19:14,941
Wait, this doesn't make sense.
385
00:19:15,061 --> 00:19:18,734
I thought Karma took it to teach me
a lesson about finders keepers.
386
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,914
And now I'm not sure
what any of this meant.
387
00:19:22,074 --> 00:19:23,068
Tell me about it.
388
00:19:23,188 --> 00:19:25,813
Why did God give me and Patty
so many conflicting signs?
389
00:19:26,807 --> 00:19:29,210
The gun, the Bible, the boat,
390
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:30,589
the Bible again.
391
00:19:31,582 --> 00:19:33,926
And why'd he make me think
I was invincible?
392
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:37,278
You guys don't think
God's losing his mind, do you?
393
00:19:37,685 --> 00:19:40,390
I don't know how old he is,
but he's got to be getting up there.
394
00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:42,554
Maybe all of it means nothing.
395
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:45,626
Tornadoes tend to be stressful times
in which people ascribe
396
00:19:45,746 --> 00:19:48,340
heightened meaning
to random events of physics.
397
00:19:50,197 --> 00:19:52,451
I heard that from a very smart man.
398
00:19:55,482 --> 00:19:59,244
It's tempting to look for messages
when crazy stuff starts happening.
399
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,877
But maybe that's wrong.
400
00:20:00,997 --> 00:20:03,209
Maybe some things are just random.
401
00:20:05,968 --> 00:20:09,695
- Dad, I found our Bible!
- I found your gun and a steak!
402
00:20:10,494 --> 00:20:11,394
Great!
403
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,299
All right.
Fastest runner gets to eat it.
404
00:20:16,722 --> 00:20:18,658
Or maybe nothing is random.
405
00:20:18,778 --> 00:20:19,981
Hard to say.
406
00:20:21,438 --> 00:20:22,266
Excuse me.
407
00:20:24,236 --> 00:20:26,239
I think I owe you a blue door.
408
00:20:27,255 --> 00:20:29,164
Subtitles:
Jarick & Ricana
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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31173
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