All language subtitles for Bones S06E18 The Truth in the Myth

I can't believe
you forgot your binoculars.

A lepidopterist without binoculars
is like a day without sunshine.

Guess I was nervous to meet you.

I've never done
the "online date" thing before.

There's a Red-banded Hairstreak.
It's so beautiful.

Look what's next to it.

Right. Another butterfly.

- Hackberry Emperor.
- Of course.

- Guess I'm just tired.
- You've only been at it for a few hours.

When you e-mailed me
and said you were into butterflies...

it sounded romantic, not like school.

- You're not really a lepidopterist, are you?
- No, Gary.

I'm just a woman looking for a man.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- And I brought a blanket.
- Fantastic!

Look at these. Oh, look at these.

- A swarm of Silvery Checkerspots.
- Oh, my God.

This is romantic.

But you're gonna remember this
a lot more than those butterflies, Gary.

Yeah.

- They don't usually swarm like this.
- Neither do I.

I hate online dating.

Partially skeletonized. Ribs splayed open.

I have a feeling
this wasn't natural causes.

- Animal or psycho?
- Probably.

The angle of the mandible
and the brow of the skull...

indicate a male around 40 to 50...

judging by the wear
on the mandibular teeth.

- Hey, what's-
what's with all the butterflies?
- Chlosyne nycteis.

They're the Silvery Checkerspot,
indigenous to the area.

- They're probably just
attracted by the remains.
- Whoa, whoa, wait.

- Butterflies eat dead people?
- Yeah.

Hey, they may look beautiful...

but they'll eat bird excrement
and aphid guts...

decomposing meat.

Oh. Right.

What the hell?

Something smells like sulfur.

It's coming from the remains. It's-

I hate when you do that.

It's not a typical odor associated
with decomposition.

Who would leave a goat out here?

Who cares about a goat, okay?
We're dealing with a dead body here.

- Look, shouldn't there be more blood?
- Yes.

It appears all of the blood
has been drained from the victim's body.

I'm guessin' psycho.

But look at the ribs,
two through six, on the left side.

- Bite marks.
- Cannibal?

No. I-It's not human dentition.

- I'm confused.
- Me too. And I don't like the feeling.

So the heart is gone?

Well, it's like someone ate it
right out of his chest.

Wow.

The victim's right ankle
has a vertical transarticular pin...

that was surgically implanted
to fix a past fracture.

Could be a helpful identifier.

Very good, Mr. Nigel-Murray.

While I have your attention and affection,
there's something that I'd like to say.

- Can you speak while working?
- Of course.

As you may be aware, I am currently
participating in Alcoholics Anonymous...

pursuant to my unfortunate
downward spiral in the aftermath
of my Jeopardy! win.

- Whoa.
- I had no idea you were in A.A.

Yes, well, as with everything else,
discretion has been my watchword...

except when I was vomiting
into someone's hat.

These look like spiny bristles
from some kind of animal.

Oh, and the evidence on the X-rays
shows bone damage on the ribs...

from long, fang-like teeth.

Oh. Maybe the heart was eaten.

But anyway, um,
I'm currently at step nine of 12...

which consists of me
making amends to those people that
I've harmed while I've been drinking.

Not necessary.
Don't even remember being wronged.

I urinated in your tadpole tank,
Dr. Hodgins.

- What?
- Mr. Nigel-Murray, that's disgusting.

Of course.

Anyway, Dr. Hodgins, I apologize.

- Dr. Saroyan.
- No.

All I wanna hear from you right now
are facts about this case.

Okay. At this point,
from all of the evidence...

that I've gathered from the X-rays...

as well as the observable evidence
on the remains-

indicates that our victim
was killed by a cryptid.

- Cryptid?
- A creature yet unrecognized
by scientific consensus.

Of course!

Oh, no. You guys aren't gonna start
talking about werewolves, are you?

Oh, no, no, no.
I would posit that it was a chupacabra.

- Oh!
- A spiny creature the size of a bear.

Vicious, forked tongued, with fangs easily
capable of biting out the victim's heart.

But no one has ever captured
or verified this chupacabra.

No, but reports show
that it sucks out its victim's blood...

and leaves behind the scent of sulfur.

And you found a goat
tethered to a stake there.

Chupacabra means "goat-sucker."

So, for cause of death,
you want me to put down "goat-sucker"?

Oh! What is that?

The murder victim's stomach contents.

Wow. If you're hungry,
there's uneaten food in the kitchen.

You're right. I'm sorry.

There's just something about a pregnant
woman that precludes twisted humor.

What's up?

So, I looked at the clothes
that our guy was wearing.

Apparently,
he did not scrimp on the duds.

Everything was brand-new.

It was like he was wearing a costume.

So, maybe he wasn't really
an outdoorsman at all.

Oh, and guess what.
Vincent just apologized to me.

Oh, step number nine- making amends.

Yeah. He apologized for using
my letter opener to clean his fingernails.

- Ugh!
- And for telling his entire darts team
that he slept with me.

Oh, my God! What is with him?

- He was drunk.
- Well, but still.

It's not like I'm gonna
run into his darts team.

Well, you are a better person than I am.

Really? I'm not gonna forget
that you told me that.

You identified the victim how?

Well, no real hunter goes out to
the woods in brand-new clothes, right?

So he had to be a tourist...

so I sent his description to the hotels
and lodges in the area, and I got a hit.

- Pine Tree Manor.
- Yeah.

They said they had a guest
by the name of Lee Coleman...

who disappeared and left his stuff behind.

Lee Coleman.

The Lee Coleman.

Why do you keep saying his name
as if I should know him?

Lee Coleman. Kill the Myth.

It's a TV show
on the Wilderness Network.

- I've never seen it.
- Wow. Do you even own a TV?

Of course. It's in the closet.

Naturally. Anyway, on the show,
Coleman would go out...

and he would debunk
different myths and legends.

You know,
the Loch Ness monster, the yeti...

psychic healers, yada yada.

I'm not familiar
with the yada-yada-yada myth...

but the rest of them don't need disproving
because they don't exist.

Okay, again, just because
you haven't seen something...

it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

I mean, you haven't seen the back side
of the moon, but you believe in it.

What?

I was trying to think of an amusing quip
about the back side of your moon.

All right. Great.

What if Coleman
was in the woods trying to disprove
the chupacabra for Kill the Myth?

- And the myth killed him instead.
- It could happen.

No, it couldn't. You can't be killed
by something that doesn't exist.

- You can, if it does exist.
- I don't think you understand
what the word "myth" means.

Now what?

Perhaps you could see your dark side...

if you mooned a mirror.

Because "moon" is a term
that refers to exposing-

- I know, Bones.
- Get it?

- It's pretty clever, right?
- It's clever, yeah. Clever.

Yeah, I'd laugh, but, uh,
I'm afraid of driving off the road.

- I understand.
- You do, right?

- Safety first.
- Oh, yeah.

I understand.

Oh. Huh.

Odd that they would call it the Pine Tree
Manor when it's obviously clad in cedar.

I was just thinkin' that.

- Really?
- No.

Wow!

- Hello.
- Hello.

Welcome to the Pine Tree Manor.

It would more properly be called
the Cedar Siding Manor.

Right.
Uh, F.B.I. Special Agent Seeley Booth.

This here's my colleague,
Dr. Temperance Brennan.

You must be here
because of the myth guy.

I'm Randy Shepard. I own the place.

- Is it true what we're hearing?
- What are you hearing?

That something got the guy-
out in the woods, something... horrible.

- And how'd you hear about that?
- From me.

- Who are you?
- I'm Melissa Lawson.

- Melissa's our activities coordinator.
- What does that mean?

Fishing, hikes, bird-watching,
nature trails, hunting.

Mr. Coleman sort of monopolized Melissa
the three days he was here.

He was filming an episode
of that show of his.

To debunk the chupacabra?

- Yeah. And it got him.
- We've had sightings.

People used to come from all over
just to get a glimpse of one.

- What's it look like?
- Oh.

Hello.

So, I've analyzed those dermal cells
we found on the remains.

Turns out they are skin, but not human.

Now, judging by the heavily
keratinized stratum corneum,
they appear to be reptilian.

- Reptilian?
- There's more.

Those needle-like quills, they're
composed of 45% carbon, 27% oxygen...

15% nitrogen and six percent hydrogen.

- That's hair.
- Mm-hmm. And definitely mammalian.

No. That-That makes no sense.

Reptile scales and mammalian hair...

don't coexist on any known animal.

Really? What about this?

Chupacabra.

I'm Lee Coleman,
and I've made it my life's mission...

to disprove some of the world's most
tenacious myths, legends and monsters.

Don't be a fool.

Kill the myth...

and find the truth.

Join me next week as I brave
the deep woods of West Virginia...

in search of the mythic chupacabra-

a creature whose name means
"goat-sucker."

But I'm gonna prove
that if you believe in him...

you are the sucker.

That promo wasn't shot in West Virginia.

It was a park near the studio.
I can't believe he's gone.

You were his producer.
You must've known
he was goin' out there.

I rarely knew what Lee was up to.

He insisted on doing
all of his own research.

Can you think of anyone
who would want to harm Lee?

He made a career
out of making people look like fools.

Everyone he debunked
probably wanted him dead.

Believers in superstitions like these-
they turn to illogical explanations...

as a way of deriving control
in a frightening and uncertain world.

- They're nuts.
- That's a more succinct way of putting it.

But when a person like that
has his way of life challenged...

becoming violent would not be surprising.

- You know, Lee was
attacked once... by a dog.
- He debunked a dog?

- What- What was it pretending to be?
- He debunked a pet psychic.

- Oh.
- She lost a lot of clients.

Um, one day Lee
was coming out of the studio,
and this dog just went for him...

and the pet psychic was just across
the street watching the whole thing.

- Was it her dog?
- She denied it, but why else
would she be there?

That mutt latched on to Lee's leg.

He fell. He broke his ankle,
had to have surgery.

And we couldn't even touch the psychic.

- When was this?
- Last year.

- Oh.
- But he insisted on rerunning
the episode two weeks ago.

- He disappeared right after that.
- Yeah.

I told him he should forget about her.
She's a loon.

But he wanted to go after her again.

I've never seen bone damage
like this before.

Normally, puncture marks resulting
from carnivorous scavenging...

are accompanied by pits
in the cortical bone surfaces.

Which are not in evidence.

Mysteriously.

So I'll analyze the wounds
and try and establish which
were caused by small animals...

and which might've been caused
by the chupacabra.

You are not letting
this chupacabra thing go, are ya?

I'd be skeptical if you told me
that there was a venomous...

egg-laying, duck-billed,
beaver-tailed mammal...

and yet the platypus-

it does exist.

Uh, Mr. Nigel-Murray, do you need me
to take that alcohol away from you?

Oh! No.

No, don't be absurd.
This is, uh, 80% ethyl alcohol.

I would most likely go blind
if I were to drink this.

It- Yeah, yeah. Take it away from me.

- Yeah.
- Take the top.

Dr. Saroyan. Sorry.

I really need you to let me
apologize to you, for my sobriety.

Fine. Shoot.

Thank you.

I once went into your office,
uh, when you weren't there...

and I noticed
that your desk drawer was open...

and I saw a stack of grocery coupons
from the Sunday paper.

Okay. Continue.

And I took some of the coupons.

I took- One was for a soda, and
I took another one for a cheese snack.

And a third was for a frozen fish dinner.

- Three coupons?
- Yeah.

I was tipsy.

I understand.
And as long as that's it, I forgive you.

Um-

- What?
- I also told some mates
from Paleontology...

that you and I-
that we enjoyed a passionate...

and extremely gymnastic
sexual relationship.

- What?
- Yes, I did. It's all true.

I can't believe you did that.

I-I know. I know.
And I am deeply, deeply sorry.

But it was the hooch.

Uh- Oh, forget it.

The injuries on the bones,
I would like an explanation for them
as soon as possible-

one that will not be met with derision.

I shouldn't have told her
about the coupons.

I think the victim
is providing a valuable service...

- by debunking these myths.
- Hmm.

Take a look at this.

This is your proof.

Oh, no. Don't be angry at me.

Your priest is the one
who has tricked you. Look.

- I put up a hidden camera-
- ... the devil!

and this is what it recorded last night.

Your priest has rigged this statue to cry.

You know, some of these segments
that Coleman recorded
used hidden cameras.

He wouldn't need a camera crew.

For his expos� on the chupacabra,
he might've put up cameras.

- They could still be there.
- Exactly.

- I should watch the show.
- You know, not all miracles are fake,
Bones.

Mm-mmm. There's a reasonable
explanation for all phenomena.

You know, I saw a yeti.

Don't be ridiculous. Yetis don't exist.

I was in Nepal.

Rangers have a secure
training base there.

I was doing field exercises,
about to rendezvous with my platoon...

and... I saw it...

about 30, 35 feet in front of me.

You were in the snow...

in unfamiliar terrain, alone.

- Hallucinations are common.
- It was over 10 feet tall.

It was huge.
I looked straight in its eyes.

I pointed my rifle at it, and it ran.

- This was no hallucination.
- Booth.

- I'm sure you thought-
- Okay, why don't you just trust me here?

Why can't you just use
that brilliant scientific mind of yours...

and at least admit that the possibility...

of what I'm saying here is true?

- You- You're serious?
- Just forget it.

You know, you talk a really good game,
Bones, but when it comes down to it...

you're no different
than people who were certain that
the sun revolved around the Earth.

- That's not true.
- Hmm.

Well, I did some readings
for Nancy Reagan.

Her dog-
a Cavalier King Charles spaniel, Rex-

cute little thing.

He had some issues with being
in the public eye.

- You can understand.
- Sure, sure.

Well, Hobart likes you.

Thinks you have
a kind and understanding face.

- Hobart?
- Hobart.

- Hello!
- Oh.

- Hello.
- Hobart looks like a very nice bird as well.

- I wanted to ask you about-
- Lee Coleman. I know. Horrible man.

He has no idea how many animals he hurt
by spreading those lies about me.

- You were angry about that.
- Well, we all were!

Uh-huh. Well, he thought you were
responsible for the dog attacking him.

That's nonsense.

- Hadley acted on his own.
- Of course.

But you were with Hadley
when he attacked. I mean,
you could've restrained him.

- Well, we were taking a walk.
It all happened very fast.
- Hello!

And he does regret
the pain that he caused.

- He told you that?
- We communicated, yes.

Two weeks ago,
when Lee Coleman was killed...

you were also in West Virginia,
weren't you?

Yes, I was seeing a client- a horse.

He felt emotionally displaced
because his owners got a pony.

Well, the farmer who hired you...

said that you came and went
on your own schedule.

- What are you implying?
- You're the psychic, Miss Michaels.

I'm sure you can figure it out.
Your business was hurt.

You felt humiliated and ridiculed.

You wanted revenge.

I did not kill that dreadful man.

I was at the farm.

Ask the horse, or the chickens.
They all saw me.

Right.

I am not crazy, Dr. Sweets,
and I do want to help.

I heard that you found a goat
at the murder scene.

- If you want me to talk to him.
- Nah!

No, thank you, but thank you.

- Good-bye.
- Um, this is getting weird.

So, if Coleman used
a hidden camera out here...

he probably would've had it aimed
where the goat was tethered.

You really had to volunteer us
for this, huh?

Yeah! Thought comin' out to the woods
would be nice, you know?

- A little fresh air.
- Honey, let me share something with you.

There's a human growing inside me.

Vegging on the couch
and eating pints of mint chip ice cream...

is all I actually want to do.

Recent studies show that mothers who
gain excess weight during pregnancy...

make their babies more prone
to childhood obesity.

Huh. That's interesting.

I read a study that says
that husbands who suggest
their pregnant wives are fat...

are far more prone
to being slugged by them.

Right. Okay then.

- Uh, cameras. Cameras.
- Yes.

So I watched the segments
of Kill the Myth that Brennan sent.

- Uh-huh.
- Coleman always seems to use
the same type of camera.

It's a fixed-lens infrared
surveillance camera...

with a maximum focal length of 20 feet.

So then we should just measure...

a 20-foot perimeter from the stake...

and then start searching.

- You know what I don't understand?
- What's that, babe?

How come a creature whose
name means "goat-sucker"
didn't suck the goat?

Because there's no such thing
as a chupacabra.

Oh, this coming from the woman
that believes the stars control our fates.

Of course you're going to
belittle astrology. You're a Virgo.

I think I got something.

Well, h-how are we gonna get up there?

Well, it's just a little tree.

Hey, babe, you're going to be a father.

I don't want anything to happen to you.

Okay. But please- Please be careful.

Okay.

- Got it.
- Hold on tight.

All right.
I'm gonna throw this down to you, okay?

Yeah.

Got it. Um, it looks like
there's some water damage...

but I might be able to recover some data
from the memory card.

Uh-huh.

If this time stamp is correct...

this was taken on the night
that Lee Coleman was killed.

He might have recorded his own murder.

This is the original image...

of the damage done
to the victim's ribs and torso.

Now here I've eliminated all injuries
caused from postmortem scavenging...

leaving only the wounds incurred
during the initial attack.

What is this triangle?

That is a bite mark...

presumably the result of two upper
incisors and a single lower incisor.

I'm not familiar with any animal
with that configuration of teeth.

Like that.

Legend says that
that is how the goat-sucker...

drains blood from its prey.

Hodgins is analyzing the swab
from the injury site.

We'll see what he comes up with
that doesn't rely on legend.

We'll see what he comes up with
that doesn't rely on legend.

I- I'm very, very sorry.

Why? You've done
more than satisfactory work.

Oh! No, no, no, no.

As part of my recovery, uh,
for drinking a lot and having fun...

I have to make amends.

All right. What for?

One night, I borrowed your iguana...

and wore it as a hat at a party.

Well, you must've taken care of him,
because I didn't see any damage.

And also I have to apologize, um...

for spreading a rumor-

that you and I were lovers.

But it was nothing serious.
We were on and off.

We were just each other's
sexual playthings.

And please remember
that I'm apologizing for things that I did...

when I was besotted with drink.

Why are you laughing?

The absurdity of you and I having...

a sexual relationship of any kind.

I mean, your- your friends
must be very gullible.

No, they're not- not particularly.

Then they must've been inebriated
and incapable of rational thought.

Stranger things have happened.

I can't think of any.

I-I mean, I would sooner confirm...

that the chupacabra
was the cause of this man's death.

I've been told
I'm an- I'm an excellent lover.

So-

- It appears that I've hurt your feelings.
- No. No, no.

It's- It's all part of the process...

and I have to accept the consequences
of my actions as part of my recovery.

Then I'm glad that I could help.

I-I must say that I'm impressed
that you were able to get my iguana...

to stay on top of your head.

I'm clever with ribbons.

Here you go.

I'm so sorry to bother you, Agent Booth...

but I really need to talk to you
about Lee Coleman's murder.

Sure. Come on in. No problem.

Have a seat.

I started thinking that if someone
killed Lee, I could be next.

- You?
- Maybe I'm crazy, but before
I produced Lee's show...

I worked with a man named Terry Bemis.

Okay. Who's Terry Bemis?

He had a show on the Wilderness
Network, Seeing Is Believing.

He's probably the most famous
cryptozoologist in the country.

That's very impressive,
but, uh, I don't know what that means.

Cryptozoology
is the study of hidden animals...

animals whose very existence is in doubt.

Oh, right. Like the chupacabra.

Yes. Sure.

But also various sea animals who've
actually been found and confirmed.

Look, the point is that, um, Lee got Terry
booted off the Wilderness Network.

Oh, so you left crypto guy
and you went with Lee.

Yes. The network wanted me to.

- Terry was very angry,
as you would expect.

He started making threats,
which I didn't believe at the time.

But I did get this e-mail yesterday.

"Heard about Lee.
Some people get what
they deserve, I guess.

Wonder how things will turn out for you."

- Do you know where
I can find Terry Bemis now?
- Where else? Public access.

This is the footage from
the hidden camera we found in the tree.

Oh, my goat friend and I
have been waiting here for eight hours.

The only thing we've been attacked by
are mosquitoes...

which is strange because if these woods
are supposedly riddled with chupacabra...

you would expect at least one of them...

to jump on the only goat
within a hundred-mile radius.

What he's saying makes sense,
but he's really unlikable.

Well-
sun's gonna be up soon.

And since these creatures
are supposedly nocturnal...

Billy Goat Gruff and I
might as well call it a night.

- Nothing for us there.
- Well, that's what I thought at first too.

But check this out.

Okay, here it is.

What?

Look at the goat's ears just
before Coleman shuts off the camera.

Oh, wow. He heard something.

Mm-hmm.
Something Coleman didn't hear.

Can you work some sort of audio magic,
see if you can pick it up?

Yeah, it's worth a try.

Did a G.C. -mass spec on the swab
results from our little triangular bite.

I expected to find saliva,
but instead I got that.

"Bisphenol A,
diethyl propane and amorphous silica."

What is that?

No clue.
But as much as it pains me to say it,
it's probably not chupacabra spit.

Did you I.D. the dermis and those needles
we found on the body?

Yeah, I did. The reptile scales
belong to a Ctenosaura pectinata...

or Mexican spiny-tailed iguana.

And the needles,
the needles are from a wild boar.

- Are those rare?
- No, not anywhere you can buy
a hairbrush.

This seems to be shaping up
to be nothing more than a hoax.

Don't sound so sad.
Do you really wanna live in a world
where chupacabras roam free?

Yes, I really do.

So, our friend, the animal psychic,
has an alibi.

Ha-ha! Don't tell me.

She was feeding
a flock of pigeons in the park,
and they're all willing to testify.

- Close. Counseling a horse.
- I was making a joke.

I know. Still, just afraid
of driving off the road. You know, great.

Anyway, the horse's owner
placed her on the farm.

Oh.

- I did some research.
- Really?

The tracks you saw in Nepal
are easily explained.

I believe they were the tracks of smaller
animals widened by the afternoon sun.

I didn't see just tracks.
I saw the Abominable Snowman himself.

Hmm? He looked at me,
and I looked at him.

I believe you saw what you say you saw.

- But you believe it was a hallucination?
- I believe you actually saw it.

- Ah. A yeti?
- No.

What you saw was
Ursus arctos isabellinus.

They're usually red or sandy in color...

but the one you saw was covered in ice.

- A seven-foot bear covered in ice?
- Yes.

Ursus arctos makes a sound much like
a human being grunting.

You did a lot of work on this.

Yes. I believe you saw
exactly what you say you saw.

- You're simply calling it
by the wrong name.
- Ah, thank you, Bones.

I appreciate you, you know,
giving me the benefit of the doubt.

You're welcome.

Okay, look, this guy's got two motives.

Okay. One, revenge
for getting booted to public access.

And two, he earns a living
talking about mythical animals.

Also, he'd be an expert
at faking a chupacabra attack.

Three, two, one.

I received word this week
that there was a sighting...

of one of the most elusive cryptids-

the Bukit Timah Monkey Man...

an immortal hominid that lives
in the forests of Singapore.

What more proof do you need?

Well, this is a treat.

It looks like we're being joined today...

by one of the many
celebrity guest scientists...

who frequently appear
on Seeing Is Believing.

Forensic anthropologist
Dr. Temperance Brennan is here.

Please, join me, Doctor.

Kevin, get a chair!

- Should I go?
- Why not? It's not like
anybody's watching.

- Just set it there.
- Hello.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

- Hello! Welcome.
- Thank you.

It is always a pleasure
to meet a fellow scientist.

I do not accept the premise
that cryptozoology is a science.

I would point out that every major advance
in the history of science...

was at first dismissed as fairy tale
or "pseudo science."

Cryptozoologists begin with a conclusion
and then work backwards to prove it.

That is not science.
That's the opposite of science.

I'm sorry. Did you just come here
to insult me and my work?

No. I came here
because you're a suspect
in the murder of Lee Coleman.

And we'll be right back.

So now I have to talk to a shrink? Why?

Because I believe there are creatures
the scientific community doesn't accept?

No, no. I think this has more to do with
the, uh, e-mail you sent to Miss Tweed.

It was an e-mail, a piece of paper.

Not even, until it was printed.

The F.B.I. sees it as a threat, so I'm here
to try and understand why you sent it.

I was angry that I lost my show.

I'm sorry.

Look, I know people think I'm a little off
because of my field of study.

Oh, no.
I mean, I study the human mind, okay...

so I can definitely confirm that
there are many mysteries out there...

that are very difficult to explain.

Yes. Right. Yes.

And you had a forum on the Wilderness
Channel to educate people.

I was gonna get a publishing deal
and everything.

To distribute your findings.

I could have legitimized cryptozoology.

You must've been very angry.

The son of a bitch destroyed my life...

and he took my producer.

I'm on a community college station now.

My show airs at 2:00 in the morning.

- How would you feel?
- Angry.

Mmm.

Not angry enough to kill someone.

I didn't kill him. I didn't have to.

The chupacabra beat me to it.

Coleman had such disdain for my work...

but I bet he believed in that creature...

as it was killing him.

The F.B.I.'s convinced
that the whole attack was faked...

that there's no such thing
as a chupacabra.

There's ample literature
that proves otherwise.

Is this your own self-published literature
we're talking about?

Well, it doesn't matter.

With all the media frenzy
over Coleman's death...

those woods are like
Grand Central Station.

I'm sure the chupacabra
has long since fled.

It's like the Loch Ness
fiasco all over again.

Yeah, possibly.

But the forensic team...

is combing through all of the evidence...

so I'm sure they'll find the truth.

That's what you want, isn't it?

The truth?

So, I stripped away the audio track
with Coleman's voice...

and I amplified the background noise.

You just turned up the volume.
I could've done that.

I'm sorry. Uh, do I just say, "You look
at gooey stuff all day. I could do that"?

I also used a multiband noise gate
to remove the ambient sounds...

and I reconstituted the compressed
information above the Nyquist frequency.

- Okay?
- I think you've made your point, yes.

This is what we have left.

- They both sound animal-like.
- Yeah. Well, the first one is.

I've identified it as the mating call
of a white-tailed deer.

- And the second sound?
- Well, I haven't cracked that one yet.

It sounds like an animal,
but look at it on the E.Q. visualizer.

It has a recurring consistent pattern
that suggests it's mechanical.

I'm gonna run it through
the Jeffersonian's audio database
and check for matches.

Oh, we have an audio database?

Yeah, we sure do.
It has over 35 million sounds.

Check this out.
So, this is an Italian man sneezing.

This is the engine of an old Model T.

How about an F3 tornado?

Here's a- a raisin falling in milk.

Did someone just drop a raisin
into some milk?

Sorry to interrupt.

There's something that I need
to show you, Dr. Saroyan.

- No confessions?
- I confess, no.

I sorted through the dentition
of dozens of carnivorous animals...

and I finally found a match to
the puncture wounds on the victim's ribs.

They are consistent
with the bite of a black bear.

- A black bear?
- Yes.

And also,
when I looked back at the X-rays...

I noticed a uniform separation of
the bones in the joints of both ankles-

totally even, and that's odd.

I also found evidence of abrasions
on the tissue left on the ankles.

And look at this.

The cervical and lumbar vertebrae
appear to be separated.

This is all consistent with him being hung
upside down by his ankles.

- Which would explain the abrasions.
- Of course.

His blood wasn't sucked out
by some mythical creature.

It was drained-

using the same method
employed by hunters.

Remember that chemical compound
I found in the bite mark?

Bisphenol A, diethyl propane
and amorphous silica.

Dude, this isn't Jeopardy!

I finally figured out what contained
those three chemicals.

Jaw Jelly.

Jaw Jelly is a one-part jell adhesive...

used by taxidermists
to create a wet look in the mouths
of animals they've mounted.

Are you thinking of taking up taxidermy?

No. This is relevant to the case.

I believe the bite marks
to Coleman's ribs...

came from a taxidermy bear.

Right.
So he was killed by a stuffed animal?

Whoever simulated this attack
used a bear tooth...

to imitate the tripartite incisor pattern
ascribed to a chupacabra.

And I know where
we can find a stuffed bear.

It's a lot busier here than it was.

Well, it looks like a monster attack
is what this place needed, eh?

Look at that- 159 a night now.

- Come on. Hurry, honey.
- Slow down, honey.

That's a bear.

One of the bear's incisors
has been removed.

I can use the corresponding incisors
to confirm...

that the tooth used to stab Coleman
came from this bear.

- I expect nothing less.
- Back again.

Yeah. Wow.
Business really is booming, isn't it?

Well, I hate that it came on the back
of Mr. Coleman's misfortune...

but I'm grateful for the guests.

- Can I see your hands?
- My hands?

Yeah, you know, the things at the end
of your arms there- your hands.

Look at that- rope burns.

That's what happens when you
hoist animals up to drain their blood.

Isn't that right, Randy?

A psychologist?

It's my job to determine
whether you're capable of murdering
and mutilating a human being.

A guy would have to be crazy
to do something like that, right?

- What do you think?
- Yeah, I guess so.

I'm not crazy,
so I guess I couldn't have done it.

Our people did find
Lee Coleman's epithelial cells...

on the rope in your supply closet...

rope burns on your hands
and vestiges of your D.N.A. on the rope.

- Can you explain that?
- Look, I didn't kill him. I'm not crazy.

You just said that
as though you know who did kill him.

- I did?
- Yes. Do you know who killed him?

No. How would I?

Right.

- What are you writing?
- Hmm? Oh, don't worry.
I just advise the F.B.I.

I don't actually decide
who's arrested and tried for murder.

So, what are you tellin' 'em?

I am advising them that
in my professional opinion, you're lying.

That and the rope and the skin cells-

they'll probably arrest you.

You'll be needing a lawyer.

- All right. Thank you for your time.
- Wait.

I-I didn't kill the guy, but I... did the rest.

- "The rest"?
- Yeah, the draining of the blood,
the heart.

Yes, I did that stuff.

- Why?
- I came across the body.

Since he was already dead,
I thought if it looked like
he was killed by the chupacabra...

then he wouldn't have died in vain.

You know, most people
who find a corpse in the woods...

they'd call the police.

The lodge is in debt. I was gonna lose it.

Coleman was my best chance at saving
my business. That's not crazy, is it?

Exactly how did you fake the attack?

Took the bear tooth
and made the bite marks with it...

spread some insecticide around,
make it smell like sulfur.

And then you tore out his heart...

and hung him up to drain the blood?

But I didn't shoot the guy.

Nobody said anything about shooting.

- Well, I just meant-
- Who did? Who shot him?

It wasn't me.
I didn't even have the heart to kill the goat.

Where's the bullet?

I buried it with the heart.

Since I didn't kill the guy,
that's not so bad, is it?

No, it's bad. It's very bad, Randy.

Very bad.

- You wanted to see me?
- Yeah.

I wanna show you something on the rope.

Oh. Oh, good.

What? You seem nervous.

Truth be told,
I thought that you might be upset...

that I told the world
I was sleeping with your wife.

Vincent, you were drunk.
Come on. I understand.

Oh. Oh, wonderful.
Okay, the rope.

Yeah, yeah. Just take a look
at the epithelial cells
through the microscope.

Mm-hmm.

They look no different than before to me.

Hmm.
Yeah, that's- that's what I thought, too...

so I was just- I was just checking.

- Thanks.
- Oh, no, no. You're welcome.

And you're absolutely sure
that you're okay...

with this whole Angela business?

- Do you really think I'm that petty?
- No, no. Of course not.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, you are a kind
and understanding man, Dr. Hodgins.

Aw.

So this is the mating call
of a white-tail deer.

And this is the first sound
on the tape again.

- Well, it's not a match.
- 'Cause it's not a real deer.

So I went back into the audio database.

- This is the sound
of a man-made deer call.

That's a match.
What about the second sound?

A motorcycle?

Actually, it's a gas-powered
four-stroke engine.

An all-terrain vehicle,
like the kind they had at the lodge.

So someone was out hunting.

# If I go out tonight #

# To keep in touch
with the best of them #

# What am I givin' up #

- # Tradin' in for the rest of 'em? #
- She shot him accidentally?

She actually said it was his own fault for
not wearing an orange vest in the woods.

This is why I'm against hunting.

- Not because of Bambi?
- All right. Mostly because of Bambi.

Melissa told Randy what happened,
and he used it to his own advantage.

So, if Coleman had just worn
an orange vest, he'd still be alive...

and Randy wouldn't have mutilated him
to increase business.

Yep. Here's to stupidity and greed-

the two elements that keep us employed.

- Ah.
- Cheers.

All right, everyone. That was fun.

- Good night.
- See ya later, guys.

- All right, guys. All right.
- See you tomorrow.

- See you later.
- Bones.

At any time, did you think
that the, uh, chupacabra was real?

No.

Then why did you believe
that I saw the yeti in Nepal?

Because what I said you saw
was totally rational.

I never saw it.

You see, what you did was rationally
explain something that never happened.

You never saw the yeti?

Or did I?

No, you didn't.

But you- you did?

- Are you trying to confuse me?
- I might be.

- Okay. What is your point?
- Well, that things are confusing, okay?

Just because you can explain something
doesn't mean that it's explainable.

- Do you mean "explicable"?
- Sure, like us.

We don't make any sense at all.

- Good night.
- Bye.

# You keep me young ##

What's that mean?

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