Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,244 --> 00:00:03,965
Hey Jim. Stanley's back from
the hospital today.
2
00:00:04,106 --> 00:00:06,502
- Can you sign his card?
- Oh, great.
3
00:00:06,537 --> 00:00:09,038
"Glad they didn't mix up
your tonsillectomy
4
00:00:09,072 --> 00:00:12,158
with a moustachectomy."
5
00:00:12,192 --> 00:00:13,426
Oh, that's not good.
6
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,628
Oh, because your jokes
are all hilarious.
7
00:00:15,679 --> 00:00:17,180
It's nice.
It's funny.
8
00:00:17,214 --> 00:00:18,581
It mentions his tonsillectomy
9
00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:20,099
and makes a funny little joke
about his moustache.
10
00:00:20,134 --> 00:00:23,469
Stanley doesn't have
a moustache.
11
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:24,887
Yeah, he does.
12
00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:26,272
Pam, hit the brakes.
13
00:00:26,306 --> 00:00:29,291
Stanley does not have
a moustache.
14
00:00:29,309 --> 00:00:32,061
I misspoke
I'm-- not sure...
15
00:00:32,096 --> 00:00:33,679
I think he has one,
now that--
16
00:00:33,731 --> 00:00:35,148
I think he has a moustache.
17
00:00:35,182 --> 00:00:37,266
Okay. Phyllis sits
across from him every day.
18
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:38,801
Phyllis, does he have
a moustache or not?
19
00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:41,621
Ooh, I don't know.
Now I think he doesn't.
20
00:00:41,655 --> 00:00:43,156
Phyllis, what are you talking--
21
00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:45,274
The whole card depends on this!
22
00:00:45,308 --> 00:00:46,943
Okay. The man's worked here
for 25 years.
23
00:00:46,977 --> 00:00:49,128
How can none of us
picture his face?
24
00:00:49,163 --> 00:00:50,613
'Cause we come here
to do our jobs.
25
00:00:50,647 --> 00:00:52,598
We don't stick our noses
in other people's business.
26
00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:55,785
Okay. Which one of these
looks more right?
27
00:00:55,819 --> 00:00:57,420
Neither of those
looks like any person
28
00:00:57,454 --> 00:00:58,988
that has ever existed
or been dreamt of
29
00:00:59,006 --> 00:01:00,840
in the history
of human insanity.
30
00:01:00,874 --> 00:01:02,942
That said, the one on the left.
31
00:01:02,976 --> 00:01:04,994
Guys, that's the elevator.
32
00:01:05,012 --> 00:01:07,046
- What if it's him?
- Okay, quick.
33
00:01:07,097 --> 00:01:09,816
Who says moustache?
34
00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:11,017
Yep.
35
00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:13,052
Who says no moustache?
36
00:01:20,394 --> 00:01:21,360
Ah! Ha ha ha!
37
00:01:21,395 --> 00:01:22,862
- Oh, man!
- Hey!
38
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:24,197
- He does have one.
- Yes!
39
00:01:26,116 --> 00:01:28,234
Welcome back, Stanley.
40
00:01:31,506 --> 00:01:36,824
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:01:37,728 --> 00:01:40,046
"Good morning, Robert,"
says no one,
42
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,049
because our receptionist
is in Florida.
43
00:01:49,473 --> 00:01:50,490
Pam!
44
00:01:50,524 --> 00:01:52,208
Oh!
45
00:01:52,226 --> 00:01:54,177
Is this a video conference
you're having with...
46
00:01:54,211 --> 00:01:56,762
"Drake, featuring Swizz Beatz"?
47
00:01:56,814 --> 00:01:59,482
Um, no, I was just, um,
just having a cup of coffee,
48
00:01:59,516 --> 00:02:00,766
kind of warming up for the day.
49
00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:03,569
People, you should
come to work already warm.
50
00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:05,521
9:00 to 10:00 AM
51
00:02:05,555 --> 00:02:08,891
is the most productive
potential that a human being--
52
00:02:08,909 --> 00:02:10,026
Sorry, sorry, everyone,
I'm late!
53
00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:12,245
But you are all here,
54
00:02:12,279 --> 00:02:14,697
so no harm done at all
by my lateness.
55
00:02:14,731 --> 00:02:16,782
Nellie, really, 9:50?
56
00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:18,618
Oh, here's what happened.
57
00:02:18,669 --> 00:02:21,287
7:46,
my alarm clock goes off.
58
00:02:21,338 --> 00:02:22,872
I hear it.
Whack the snooze.
59
00:02:22,906 --> 00:02:24,590
- Ah.
- Nine minutes.
60
00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,592
Bzzz!
Off it goes again.
61
00:02:26,627 --> 00:02:27,910
Whack!
62
00:02:27,928 --> 00:02:30,096
Seven more times I did that.
63
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:32,298
Bzzz-- Whack.
Bzzz-- Whack!
64
00:02:32,349 --> 00:02:34,967
By the time I got up,
it was ten minutes to go.
65
00:02:35,018 --> 00:02:38,020
No willpower.
That is my curse!
66
00:02:38,055 --> 00:02:39,472
I've never believed willpower
67
00:02:39,523 --> 00:02:41,274
was very important in a woman.
68
00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:42,725
Ah ha!
69
00:02:43,977 --> 00:02:45,778
I don't think
you would have shown up to work
70
00:02:45,812 --> 00:02:48,481
nearly an hour late
for no reason.
71
00:02:48,532 --> 00:02:50,533
Oh, I assure you,
I would have done.
72
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,735
I did,
and I will keep doing it.
73
00:02:52,769 --> 00:02:54,954
No, no, no, no.
There's something going on.
74
00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:56,122
Some stress in your life.
75
00:02:56,156 --> 00:02:58,157
Well, yes, uh...
76
00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:02,111
There is the whole
moving to Scranton nonsense.
77
00:03:02,129 --> 00:03:05,131
30 boxes arrived yesterday
from england,
78
00:03:05,165 --> 00:03:06,499
and two trunks from Florida.
79
00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:09,168
Then I have to move
into my apartment
80
00:03:09,219 --> 00:03:12,605
in this dreadful,
God knows where it is
81
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,407
backwater suburb of a suburb,
82
00:03:14,441 --> 00:03:15,892
and I mean, no offense,
83
00:03:15,926 --> 00:03:18,961
but are there a lot of
Irish people living around here?
84
00:03:18,979 --> 00:03:20,479
- Yes.
- Yes.
85
00:03:20,514 --> 00:03:22,064
Ugh! I hate that!
86
00:03:22,099 --> 00:03:23,115
No offense.
87
00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:24,650
- None taken.
- Actually, Nellie,
88
00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:27,153
this monologue you're delivering
is very offensive.
89
00:03:27,187 --> 00:03:28,821
Oh! Ay, caramba!
90
00:03:28,855 --> 00:03:31,140
The natives
are getting restless!
91
00:03:31,158 --> 00:03:32,474
- Who's a native?
- Uh, excuse me.
92
00:03:32,492 --> 00:03:35,194
The tone here
is getting quite hostile.
93
00:03:35,245 --> 00:03:37,280
I would appreciate it
if you would keep that stuff
94
00:03:37,314 --> 00:03:38,948
on the basketball court.
95
00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:41,033
- Oh...
- Okay. Okay.
96
00:03:41,084 --> 00:03:43,336
If you'd let me finish--
97
00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:45,538
or the squash court,
98
00:03:45,589 --> 00:03:48,057
or the supreme court.
99
00:03:48,091 --> 00:03:49,675
- Hmm?
- Nellie.
100
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,177
Yes, Robert!
101
00:03:51,211 --> 00:03:55,181
You're clearly
under a lot of... Stress
102
00:03:55,215 --> 00:03:58,334
with the moving
and the work situation
103
00:03:58,352 --> 00:04:00,469
- you've found yourself in.
- Yes.
104
00:04:00,503 --> 00:04:02,188
Let's help her out, shall we?
105
00:04:02,222 --> 00:04:05,141
Go above and beyond today
106
00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:10,196
to show her some of that warm
Scranton hospitality.
107
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:12,031
Jim, Dwight.
108
00:04:12,065 --> 00:04:13,866
Take the day.
Help Nellie
109
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:16,869
move those boxes
into her new place.
110
00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:18,204
Why Jim?
111
00:04:18,238 --> 00:04:20,957
The rest of you,
let's throw a party
112
00:04:20,991 --> 00:04:22,241
at the end of the day
113
00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:25,194
to welcome the newest member
of our little community.
114
00:04:25,212 --> 00:04:26,829
I'm sorry.
115
00:04:26,863 --> 00:04:28,547
We're throwing a party
for someone
116
00:04:28,582 --> 00:04:30,016
because they're being horrible?
117
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:31,634
I'm sorry.
We're taking work time
118
00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:33,002
to move someone's
personal belongings
119
00:04:33,036 --> 00:04:34,186
into their new apartment.
120
00:04:34,221 --> 00:04:36,172
I'm still not sure why
this woman is even here.
121
00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:37,940
Why is she here?
122
00:04:37,975 --> 00:04:41,227
♪ two crazy kids
on the journey of life ♪
123
00:04:41,261 --> 00:04:44,764
♪ going to Pennsylvania ♪
124
00:04:44,815 --> 00:04:47,383
On the road
with my new girlfriend.
125
00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:49,602
But first, a small pit stop
126
00:04:49,653 --> 00:04:51,604
to break up with
my current girlfriend
127
00:04:51,655 --> 00:04:55,224
who is at her parents' cabin
in Southern Pennsylvania.
128
00:04:55,242 --> 00:04:56,692
Oh. That must be nice.
129
00:04:56,726 --> 00:04:58,861
Mm-hmm.
It's a beautiful place.
130
00:04:58,895 --> 00:05:01,113
Great place
to let her down easy.
131
00:05:01,164 --> 00:05:04,116
Oh, no, no, I mean that
must be nice to have parents.
132
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,552
Oh.
Hmm.
133
00:05:06,586 --> 00:05:09,238
♪ time to have a little kiss ♪
134
00:05:09,256 --> 00:05:11,073
- No.
- Mm. Sorry.
135
00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:13,259
Right. No kisses
till the breakup is official.
136
00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:14,677
- Yes.
- I believe in that.
137
00:05:14,711 --> 00:05:16,445
- Yes. So do I.
- I think that's important.
138
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,431
That is important.
Bummer... But important.
139
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:19,932
- Important.
- Mm-hmm.
140
00:05:19,966 --> 00:05:22,601
I can't believe he's making us
throw a party for her.
141
00:05:22,636 --> 00:05:23,752
- I know, right?
- She's always late.
142
00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:25,104
She's always rude.
143
00:05:25,138 --> 00:05:28,224
It kinda makes me want
to throw a really bad party.
144
00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:29,792
- Yeah.
- On purpose.
145
00:05:29,826 --> 00:05:31,627
Phyllis!
146
00:05:31,661 --> 00:05:33,429
We should do it
147
00:05:33,447 --> 00:05:34,947
right here in the break room.
148
00:05:36,766 --> 00:05:38,401
Order carrot cake.
149
00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:43,155
And Jessica, just so you know,
150
00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:44,740
this is way more
about my love for Erin
151
00:05:44,774 --> 00:05:46,492
than anything wrong with you.
152
00:05:46,543 --> 00:05:48,961
Well, Andy, I'm upset, but...
153
00:05:48,995 --> 00:05:50,613
You did this
in the best way possible,
154
00:05:50,647 --> 00:05:53,499
and I knew you as a lover...
155
00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:55,801
And I'll remember you
as a gentleman.
156
00:05:55,836 --> 00:05:58,604
Okay. That was one minute
and ten seconds.
157
00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:01,424
Consider it nailed.
158
00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:02,591
I think we should try it again.
159
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:05,144
This time,
worst-case scenario.
160
00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:06,645
Okay, here we go.
Jessica,
161
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,964
I'm really sorry.
I just need you to know--
162
00:06:08,982 --> 00:06:10,433
- What?
163
00:06:10,467 --> 00:06:12,234
I just need you to know--
164
00:06:12,269 --> 00:06:15,137
What is it?
I didn't sleep well last night.
165
00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:20,142
Ugh!
166
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,144
- Ow.
- Nellie, that reminds me.
167
00:06:22,162 --> 00:06:23,446
Do you want this chair
in the bedroom?
168
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,780
'Cause to be honest,
I don't think
169
00:06:24,814 --> 00:06:25,998
it's gonna
fit through the door.
170
00:06:26,032 --> 00:06:27,500
Don't listen to Jim.
171
00:06:27,534 --> 00:06:28,951
Have you ever seen him
play Tetris?
172
00:06:28,985 --> 00:06:31,170
"Oh, I think I'll just use
this line horizontally.
173
00:06:31,204 --> 00:06:33,706
Oh, I had no idea what a gift
this line is."
174
00:06:33,757 --> 00:06:36,492
- The one time--
- I will get the chair in.
175
00:06:36,510 --> 00:06:38,627
Watch the great Schrutini
work his magic.
176
00:06:38,661 --> 00:06:40,429
Oh, no.
Really? Magic?
177
00:06:40,464 --> 00:06:42,298
No, no, no.
Let's not go there.
178
00:06:42,332 --> 00:06:45,885
No, nothing is more repellant
than magicians.
179
00:06:45,936 --> 00:06:49,054
Bunch of grown men
waving wands,
180
00:06:49,106 --> 00:06:51,223
pulling bunnies
out of body crevices.
181
00:06:51,274 --> 00:06:53,826
Magicians are repulsive.
Next topic.
182
00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:56,228
Excuse me, one second.
183
00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,564
- Hi.
- Hey, what's up?
184
00:06:58,615 --> 00:07:01,200
Ah, nothing, just hauling
some cube with Dwight.
185
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:02,568
Haulin' cube!
186
00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:03,953
That's moving boxes.
187
00:07:03,987 --> 00:07:06,855
We just came up with the term
to make it sound cooler.
188
00:07:06,873 --> 00:07:08,524
So we're planning
this party for Nellie,
189
00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:10,743
and we're gonna make it
really bad.
190
00:07:10,794 --> 00:07:12,261
Sounds like every other party.
191
00:07:12,295 --> 00:07:14,580
No. We're gonna make it
like a prank.
192
00:07:14,614 --> 00:07:17,516
Like order bad food, give her
this passive-aggressive card.
193
00:07:17,551 --> 00:07:19,468
Oh! Hire a magician.
194
00:07:19,503 --> 00:07:21,220
- What?
- Trust me.
195
00:07:21,254 --> 00:07:23,705
Okay.
196
00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:30,513
Oh.
197
00:07:30,547 --> 00:07:32,348
Wow. There's a lot
of cars here.
198
00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:34,233
This is just weird.
199
00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:37,186
Andy!
200
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:39,522
Hey, what are you doing here?
201
00:07:39,556 --> 00:07:41,106
Hey, Lauren.
Look at you.
202
00:07:41,158 --> 00:07:43,075
Well, I know.
Look at me.
203
00:07:43,109 --> 00:07:45,060
I was just on my way back
from this business trip,
204
00:07:45,078 --> 00:07:46,612
thought I'd stop
and say hi to Jessica.
205
00:07:46,663 --> 00:07:47,947
Aww!
206
00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:50,366
Why is Erin with me?
That's a great question.
207
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,700
She is my coworker,
208
00:07:51,734 --> 00:07:55,254
and she needed a ride
because she totaled her car.
209
00:07:55,288 --> 00:07:56,872
Oh.
God.
210
00:07:56,906 --> 00:07:58,257
So I'm Erin.
Hi.
211
00:07:58,291 --> 00:08:00,042
- Yep. This is Erin.
- Nice to meet you.
212
00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:04,580
Well, Jess went out for a run,
213
00:08:04,598 --> 00:08:06,415
but she'll be back soon.
214
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:07,766
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, ladies.
215
00:08:07,801 --> 00:08:10,402
Andy's here.
216
00:08:10,437 --> 00:08:13,589
Okay, Andy,
that is a bachelorette party,
217
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:15,808
this is Jessica's friends,
218
00:08:15,859 --> 00:08:17,610
an they've been drinking
during the daytime.
219
00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,645
Should we go?
220
00:08:19,696 --> 00:08:21,814
You know, we had such a quick
window to make this work,
221
00:08:21,865 --> 00:08:23,649
I think we should
probably just--
222
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:24,934
Oh, Jess!
223
00:08:24,968 --> 00:08:27,486
Look who stopped by
after his business trip.
224
00:08:27,537 --> 00:08:30,456
Andy!
Hey!
225
00:08:30,490 --> 00:08:32,241
I wonder if king-sized
sheets
226
00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:34,677
are called presidential-sized
in england.
227
00:08:34,711 --> 00:08:37,429
I really should have
a tweeter account.
228
00:08:37,464 --> 00:08:39,832
Yes, you should.
229
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:42,434
Ooh!
230
00:08:42,469 --> 00:08:45,588
"Nellie, don't open, stupid.
Love, Nellie."
231
00:08:45,622 --> 00:08:48,924
- I have to see these shoes.
- I doubt that they're sh--
232
00:08:48,958 --> 00:08:52,978
Whoa.
233
00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:55,648
Who's this guy?
234
00:08:55,682 --> 00:08:57,633
Here's the two of them
taking a hike.
235
00:08:57,651 --> 00:08:59,602
I'm guessing
he's some kind of friend.
236
00:08:59,636 --> 00:09:01,437
Boyfriend.
237
00:09:01,471 --> 00:09:03,138
Here's the two of them
kissing at a beach
238
00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:06,025
and kissing
at the Eiffel Tower.
239
00:09:06,076 --> 00:09:08,360
I'm guessing he's some kind
of close romantic friend.
240
00:09:08,411 --> 00:09:09,811
Like a boyfriend?
241
00:09:09,829 --> 00:09:12,615
- You read my mind.
- Yeah.
242
00:09:12,649 --> 00:09:15,951
Whoa. Here's one with
his face whited out.
243
00:09:15,985 --> 00:09:18,037
Hmm. Maybe someone
threw a pie in his face.
244
00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:20,172
New theory-- He's a hated
Italian politician.
245
00:09:20,206 --> 00:09:21,957
Better theory--
This is her ex-boyfriend,
246
00:09:21,991 --> 00:09:24,209
and they went through
some kind of painful breakup.
247
00:09:24,261 --> 00:09:25,778
- Oh, Nellie.
- Oh.
248
00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:28,631
I'm so sorry.
We were just...
249
00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:30,599
I see you've discovered
Benjamin.
250
00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:34,103
That's what I call my box
full of photos of Henry.
251
00:09:34,137 --> 00:09:35,888
- Why not call...
- Shh!
252
00:09:39,026 --> 00:09:41,758
God. We owned a flat together.
253
00:09:41,928 --> 00:09:44,263
Then one morning,
just like that, he was gone.
254
00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:46,916
He ran off with the waitress
at our favorite restaurant.
255
00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,551
That's awful.
256
00:09:49,569 --> 00:09:51,520
What kind of restaurant?
257
00:09:51,554 --> 00:09:52,738
Dwight.
258
00:09:52,773 --> 00:09:54,106
I couldn't afford
the flat myself.
259
00:09:54,157 --> 00:09:56,292
So I sold it at a loss.
260
00:09:56,326 --> 00:09:58,861
Ah, but what's ten years
of bliss down the drain
261
00:09:58,895 --> 00:10:00,863
compared with the thrill
of starting over
262
00:10:00,897 --> 00:10:02,865
with nothing and no one?
263
00:10:02,899 --> 00:10:04,166
I'm so sorry.
264
00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:05,901
These must be
very painful memories.
265
00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:07,536
If it would help you to forget,
266
00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:11,590
I could hit you in the brain
stem with this candle stick.
267
00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:13,242
Thank you.
268
00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:14,710
No.
269
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:17,563
Jim, Dwight, please...
270
00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:20,633
Don't tell anyone about this.
271
00:10:20,684 --> 00:10:22,985
No, no.
Of course.
272
00:10:23,019 --> 00:10:25,688
Just one quick question.
273
00:10:25,722 --> 00:10:28,390
Was this, um, Halloween or...
274
00:10:28,424 --> 00:10:30,309
No.
275
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,878
That's the most embarrassing
thing of all of this.
276
00:10:32,913 --> 00:10:34,429
What kind of fool
gets her heart broken
277
00:10:34,447 --> 00:10:36,598
by a bloody stage magician?
278
00:10:38,702 --> 00:10:40,152
Hey, you know what, Pam?
279
00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,121
I was thinking maybe
we should change course here.
280
00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:43,239
Let's give up
on all this mean stuff.
281
00:10:43,273 --> 00:10:45,391
What? No!
No, I just had
282
00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:47,910
this brilliant idea--
Everyone loved it.
283
00:10:47,944 --> 00:10:49,879
You don't have a copyright
on pranks.
284
00:10:49,913 --> 00:10:51,931
I might be better
at this than you.
285
00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:54,116
- No, that's not what I--
- Jim, could you give us a hand?
286
00:10:54,134 --> 00:10:55,334
Absolutely.
Yeah.
287
00:10:55,385 --> 00:10:56,969
Call it off, Pam.
Call it off, okay?
288
00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:58,771
It's way more complicated
than you think.
289
00:10:58,805 --> 00:11:00,622
Cancel the magician.
Trust me.
290
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,224
Oh. O-okay.
291
00:11:02,259 --> 00:11:04,677
Okay, I will.
292
00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:10,516
- Pam, we have a great idea.
- Listen to this.
293
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:12,134
We're gonna have the
fluorescent lights flickering.
294
00:11:12,152 --> 00:11:13,769
It's gonna make everyone sick.
295
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,105
- Or what if...
- Okay.
296
00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:17,690
We discuss...
297
00:11:17,741 --> 00:11:20,776
The idea of doing the party
298
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,161
totally normal?
299
00:11:22,195 --> 00:11:24,330
Like... Not mean.
300
00:11:24,364 --> 00:11:26,632
Just a regular party.
301
00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:28,617
Not mean.
302
00:11:28,651 --> 00:11:29,702
I knew she'd crack!
303
00:11:29,753 --> 00:11:31,704
I wanted to leave you out,
you know.
304
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:32,922
We're in far too deep.
305
00:11:32,956 --> 00:11:34,489
We can't change course
at this point.
306
00:11:34,507 --> 00:11:36,342
What are you talking about?
Of course we can.
307
00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:38,043
What I mean to say is
we don't want to.
308
00:11:38,094 --> 00:11:39,628
Toots, we're not stopping
this train,
309
00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:41,897
so get off the tracks.
310
00:11:41,932 --> 00:11:43,349
Suck it!
311
00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:47,186
- Andy--
- It'll be fine.
312
00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:48,554
Just act natural.
313
00:11:48,605 --> 00:11:50,222
Do you want a gummy penis?
314
00:11:50,273 --> 00:11:52,658
No, I'll just have
some gummy bears.
315
00:11:52,692 --> 00:11:55,227
- These are delicious.
- But... they're penises.
316
00:11:55,278 --> 00:11:57,396
And we come to Matthew,
317
00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,231
the guy who was with
his old girlfriend
318
00:11:59,282 --> 00:12:01,367
basically the whole time
we were together.
319
00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:02,517
- Oh!
- Eew!
320
00:12:02,535 --> 00:12:05,070
Eew! Aw!
That seems gross...
321
00:12:05,105 --> 00:12:07,156
At first blush, right?
322
00:12:07,190 --> 00:12:10,676
But relationships are always
more complicated than you think.
323
00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:14,830
I mean, we don't know Matthew's
history with this other woman.
324
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:18,083
Maybe she saved his life.
I don't know.
325
00:12:18,134 --> 00:12:20,035
I just-- I don't think
we should rush to judgment
326
00:12:20,053 --> 00:12:21,904
about Matthew.
Maybe we don't pop that one.
327
00:12:21,938 --> 00:12:23,505
- No, pop Matthew.
- Pop it!
328
00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:26,725
Pop it!
329
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,177
- Hey.
- Hey.
330
00:12:28,211 --> 00:12:30,346
Sorry.
It's kind of a madhouse.
331
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,231
- Aah!
- Oh!
332
00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:33,732
Ha ha ha! Megan!
333
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:35,851
You are one of the good ones,
nard dog.
334
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,686
- Aw...
- No, really.
335
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,887
Where's my Andy?
336
00:12:38,905 --> 00:12:41,223
- I dunno.
- Oh, he's out there.
337
00:12:41,241 --> 00:12:43,225
Are you gonna sing for us?
338
00:12:43,243 --> 00:12:45,027
Well, you guys are doing
a pretty good job
339
00:12:45,061 --> 00:12:46,745
with the scary yelling, so...
340
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:48,414
That's not like you.
That's not like you.
341
00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:50,899
Come on, sing!
Sing!
342
00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:53,953
♪ beyond Bonnie Banks ♪
343
00:12:54,004 --> 00:12:57,122
♪ and beyond Bonnie Brae's ♪
344
00:12:57,173 --> 00:12:58,924
Okay, they're almost here.
345
00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:01,210
What?
Come on!
346
00:13:01,244 --> 00:13:04,546
If you guys are gonna be mean,
can you at least be subtle?
347
00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:08,217
Oh, in the warehouse
we use code names
348
00:13:08,251 --> 00:13:09,852
for people
we want to talk about.
349
00:13:09,886 --> 00:13:13,088
Andy was Jelly Roll.
Mike was Dennis The Menace.
350
00:13:13,106 --> 00:13:14,589
Ryan was douche bag.
351
00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:17,276
Hey, that's not a code name.
That's just an insult.
352
00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:18,644
Plus, everyone would know
who you meant.
353
00:13:18,695 --> 00:13:20,646
- Yeah.
- No. That's a great idea.
354
00:13:20,697 --> 00:13:22,481
Yes, let's have a code name.
How 'bout mondays?
355
00:13:22,532 --> 00:13:25,600
I hate mondays?
Mondays are the worst?
356
00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:26,986
Nobody's named Monday.
357
00:13:27,037 --> 00:13:28,954
Hey, how 'bout we go with Pam?
358
00:13:28,989 --> 00:13:30,272
Simple, easy to remember.
359
00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:33,158
'Cause there's someone
already here named Pam.
360
00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:35,494
Hey!
361
00:13:35,528 --> 00:13:37,096
Welcome to your party.
362
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,430
Everybody get comfy now.
363
00:13:38,465 --> 00:13:41,300
This first song's
over a half hour long.
364
00:13:47,007 --> 00:13:48,257
Best gig ever.
365
00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,459
They asked me
to play only originals.
366
00:13:50,477 --> 00:13:52,261
I said, "Have you heard
my originals?
367
00:13:52,295 --> 00:13:54,613
They're terrible."
They said, "Even better."
368
00:13:54,647 --> 00:13:56,415
I said, "I get it.
369
00:13:56,449 --> 00:13:59,168
It's an ironic party
for Nellie."
370
00:13:59,202 --> 00:14:00,686
Maybe we should just go.
371
00:14:00,737 --> 00:14:03,355
No. I gotta do this.
372
00:14:03,406 --> 00:14:05,274
Hey, Jessica,
can I talk to you?
373
00:14:05,308 --> 00:14:07,326
Uh, yeah, sure.
What's up?
374
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,994
Maybe we could talk in private.
375
00:14:09,029 --> 00:14:11,697
Uh... yeah.
What is it?
376
00:14:11,748 --> 00:14:13,665
Well, first let me just say
377
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:17,269
that I hope when I'm done
with the sort of ugly bits
378
00:14:17,303 --> 00:14:19,171
that we can stay friends.
379
00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:20,806
You're breaking up with me?
380
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,958
Uh... No.
381
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,176
No.
382
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:26,879
You always do this.
You twist my words around.
383
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:29,882
Part of me thinks we should
just end this right now.
384
00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:32,217
Oh, my God.
385
00:14:32,268 --> 00:14:33,552
Are you leaving me for Erin?
386
00:14:33,603 --> 00:14:36,638
You said she wasn't
relationship material,
387
00:14:36,672 --> 00:14:38,840
and she wasn't as good as me,
but it's her, isn't it?
388
00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,309
Whoa!
389
00:14:40,343 --> 00:14:41,343
That-- No.
390
00:14:41,361 --> 00:14:42,344
Okay.
391
00:14:42,362 --> 00:14:43,979
You want honesty?
392
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,698
Super-honesty time.
393
00:14:46,733 --> 00:14:48,067
I'm gay.
394
00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:49,318
What?
395
00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:52,854
I am gay, and I prefer men.
396
00:14:52,872 --> 00:14:55,157
- I knew it!
- You did not, Kenny!
397
00:14:55,191 --> 00:14:57,076
You invited me to go
shopping with you.
398
00:14:57,127 --> 00:14:59,194
I like hanging out with you.
399
00:14:59,212 --> 00:15:01,163
You're a cool guy.
400
00:15:01,197 --> 00:15:03,582
Which proves my point.
That I'm gay.
401
00:15:03,633 --> 00:15:06,001
Andy, you're not gay.
402
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,420
I mean, we were... together.
403
00:15:08,471 --> 00:15:11,056
And you seemed
pretty excitable.
404
00:15:11,091 --> 00:15:13,342
Well, I was faking it.
405
00:15:13,376 --> 00:15:15,144
I had to fake it every time.
406
00:15:15,178 --> 00:15:17,212
I had to imagine
that I was in a steam room
407
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:18,514
with John Stamos.
408
00:15:18,548 --> 00:15:22,851
I can't say
it doesn't make sense...
409
00:15:22,885 --> 00:15:24,236
- Well...
- Look, it's--
410
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,221
I mean, I was good
at hiding it, but--
411
00:15:26,239 --> 00:15:28,390
It's fine, Andy.
412
00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:31,076
I didn't think we were
gonna get married or anything.
413
00:15:31,111 --> 00:15:33,245
I just...
414
00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:34,613
I'm just upset for now.
415
00:15:34,664 --> 00:15:36,248
Understandable.
416
00:15:36,282 --> 00:15:38,417
And I'm really sorry.
417
00:15:38,451 --> 00:15:40,252
I really am.
418
00:15:43,256 --> 00:15:46,208
So... we should probably...
419
00:15:46,242 --> 00:15:48,677
go.
420
00:15:56,073 --> 00:15:58,241
This humble but sincere effort
421
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,693
is all for our
valued new colleague.
422
00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:02,345
Excellent.
423
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:03,580
To Nellie Bertram.
424
00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,582
You are a most welcome
and friendly presence
425
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:06,750
at our company.
426
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:09,219
- Cheers.
- Why, thank you.
427
00:16:09,253 --> 00:16:11,554
Pam, on the other hand,
428
00:16:11,589 --> 00:16:14,924
is a most unwelcome,
entitled, unfriendly presence
429
00:16:14,976 --> 00:16:16,393
in our company.
430
00:16:16,427 --> 00:16:18,895
Cheers.
431
00:16:18,929 --> 00:16:21,398
Nellie is terrific,
432
00:16:21,432 --> 00:16:23,183
but to be honest,
433
00:16:23,217 --> 00:16:25,602
every day I imagine
how happy I'd be
434
00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:26,870
if Pam died.
435
00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:30,774
Oh. Well.
436
00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:33,493
I feel that as someone
who knows Pam
437
00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:35,528
only a little bit...
438
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,730
Enough.
A good amount.
439
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:39,699
Not the most, though.
440
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,584
I would say
that she is misunderstood
441
00:16:41,619 --> 00:16:44,504
and that maybe there's
some stuff in her past
442
00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:46,006
that you guys don't know about
443
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,374
that's a little messed up,
444
00:16:47,408 --> 00:16:49,793
and probably makes her
such a torture to work with.
445
00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:52,545
We hate Pam.
We hate Pam.
446
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:55,548
We hate Pam!
We hate Pam!
447
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,801
- We hate pa--
- So we've established...
448
00:16:57,852 --> 00:17:00,220
- No. No.
- That you guys hate Pam.
449
00:17:00,254 --> 00:17:04,391
Do you ever wish she would
just... Disappear?
450
00:17:04,425 --> 00:17:05,558
Oh!
451
00:17:09,497 --> 00:17:11,081
That was a really rough scene.
452
00:17:11,115 --> 00:17:13,650
- Right? Rough scene.
- Yeah.
453
00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:17,603
Oh... At least
we can kiss now.
454
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:19,706
Oh, yeah.
455
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:26,079
You know, that stuff
that I said about you to her...
456
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,581
I did-- That's just--
I had to say it.
457
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,967
You know, I was dating her
at the time.
458
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,185
Yeah.
459
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,270
Yes, of course.
460
00:17:35,673 --> 00:17:38,124
- Ah... I feel really tired.
- Yeah.
461
00:17:38,142 --> 00:17:40,026
Probably from seeing
that turkey.
462
00:17:40,061 --> 00:17:42,512
- Oh, yeah.
- When we drove by the farm.
463
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:45,298
Ohh.
Always does it.
464
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,940
Are you Nellie?
Oh, I think you're my volunteer.
465
00:17:53,974 --> 00:17:55,442
Come on over here, huh?
466
00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:59,462
Oh, I'll do it.
I will volunteer.
467
00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:01,114
- No, Nell-- She--
- I'll do it.
468
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:04,000
Oh! Big guy, huh?
How's the air up there?
469
00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:07,153
Watch out for... birds.
470
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:12,825
All right, let's, uh--
Let's do some card magic.
471
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,844
Now, what I want you
to do is...
472
00:18:14,879 --> 00:18:17,680
I want you to pick a card
just by looking at it.
473
00:18:17,715 --> 00:18:20,683
Do not say what it is.
474
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,154
It's the 4 of hearts.
475
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:26,189
Oh, no, you--
476
00:18:26,223 --> 00:18:29,526
Looks like we got a guy
from another country here, huh?
477
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,362
No hablo el cardo, señor?
478
00:18:32,396 --> 00:18:33,696
Hmm? Ha.
479
00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:35,148
All right, the card is picked.
480
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:38,401
Now, sir, will you please
shuffle the deck?
481
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:47,343
You didn't just do that
on... Purpose, did ya?
482
00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:49,829
Why is Jim treating
the magician poorly?
483
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:51,464
Little known fact
about me--
484
00:18:51,499 --> 00:18:55,301
Before I was a magician,
I used to work...
485
00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,869
- at a rope factory.
- Not true.
486
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,588
'Cause that's not a real place.
487
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:01,724
But I never could seem
to figure out those knots.
488
00:19:01,759 --> 00:19:02,926
That's not a real knot.
489
00:19:02,977 --> 00:19:04,477
When you pull on it,
it disappears.
490
00:19:04,512 --> 00:19:06,012
What the hell?
491
00:19:06,046 --> 00:19:07,514
All right, where's Phyllis?
492
00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,766
Who's Phyllis?
493
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,184
Look!
494
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,553
This is really uncool, okay?
495
00:19:13,571 --> 00:19:15,438
I put on
a clean show here--
496
00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:16,856
- Okay, scram, wizard.
- What?
497
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,441
- You heard me!
- Ho oh!
498
00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,193
Well, Nellie, I'm sorry.
499
00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,695
If I'd known Jim and Pam
500
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,881
would use this party
as an excuse
501
00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:26,382
to abuse a magician--
502
00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:28,585
Well, I thought
it was quite fun.
503
00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:31,037
In fact, I think
they're brilliant employees
504
00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:32,255
in their own way.
505
00:19:32,289 --> 00:19:34,791
Don't you see what I see?
506
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,376
Interesting.
Yes.
507
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,461
No, yes, I see that.
508
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,746
Great work, team.
509
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,599
Great party.
510
00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:45,018
You think this is
a great party?
511
00:19:45,052 --> 00:19:47,954
This cake has vegetables in it.
512
00:19:47,988 --> 00:19:50,023
Like a salad bar, Robert.
513
00:19:50,057 --> 00:19:52,775
How do I get this taste
out of my mouth?
514
00:19:56,146 --> 00:19:57,814
What?
Why are we--
515
00:19:57,865 --> 00:20:00,266
- I just gotta do one thing.
516
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:07,607
Oh. Hello.
517
00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,409
Hey, everybody,
look who's here.
518
00:20:09,443 --> 00:20:10,660
What are you doing here?
519
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:13,580
Hi.
Super-duper honesty time.
520
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,281
I'm not gay.
521
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,750
In fact, I'm so not gay
that I'm in love with a girl.
522
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:21,437
Her name is Erin Hannon,
and she's right there.
523
00:20:21,472 --> 00:20:23,973
She's sweet, funny,
and beautiful,
524
00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:27,443
and total relationship
material.
525
00:20:27,478 --> 00:20:28,945
Why the hell
did you come back here?
526
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,930
- Go away.
- Get lost.
527
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,682
- Get out!
- Okay.
528
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:33,933
- You're done!
- Bye, guys.
529
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:35,318
Get out.
You ruined my party!
530
00:20:37,271 --> 00:20:38,638
Who does that?
Are you kidding me?
531
00:20:38,656 --> 00:20:40,106
Yeah, run away, Andy.
532
00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:41,658
- Run away!
- You're disgusting!
533
00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:44,977
I can't believe you're not gay!
534
00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:48,197
- Yeah, get outta here.
- Don't come back.
535
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:52,035
Uh-oh.
536
00:20:52,086 --> 00:20:53,202
- You don't even know how to drive!
- Bye, Andy!
537
00:20:53,254 --> 00:20:55,338
- Loser!
- Nice car!
538
00:20:55,372 --> 00:20:56,489
Have fun!
539
00:21:02,808 --> 00:21:04,746
- Hey, Hank.
- Yes, ma'am.
540
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:08,844
I thought I was very specific about
not letting up a magician?
541
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,074
Yes, ma'am.
I got my eyes open.
542
00:21:11,171 --> 00:21:13,294
Oh, turns out that he
actually made it up there.
543
00:21:13,413 --> 00:21:15,266
What? That ain't right.
544
00:21:15,353 --> 00:21:17,014
Yeah, he came and went.
545
00:21:18,063 --> 00:21:19,469
Wait a minute!
546
00:21:20,202 --> 00:21:22,141
You said he was a magician, right?
547
00:21:22,719 --> 00:21:25,850
You don't think he could have used...
It couldn't have been...
548
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:28,474
Just let's go...
549
00:21:28,932 --> 00:21:30,008
Night, night.
550
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:36,726
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
38456
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof