All language subtitles for Penn and Teller Fool Us S03E01 Wont Get Fooled Again 720p.srt

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- From the Penn & Teller Theater
in Las Vegas, Nevada,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan.

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome to
"Penn & Teller: Fool Us."

Tonight we have a great show,
as usual.

Amazing magicians
trying to fool Penn and Teller.

But we also have
a very special surprise

that involves everyone watching.

And here to tell you
all about it,

the two and only
Penn and Teller.

[cheers and applause]

Hello.

Hi.

[cheers and applause]

- Our last trick tonight

is gonna happen in your homes,
I mean all of ya's.

Find yourself four cards,
same backs, different faces.

And you're gonna ruin them,
so take them from an old deck.

But have four cards ready
at the end of the show.

And we'll make the magic happen
right in front of your TV.

You at home, get ready.

- Yes, I saved you seats.

- Good, let's go.

- They're good,
very good ones.

[cheers and applause]

Remember, any magician
clever enough

to fool Penn and Teller
wins a trip back to Vegas

to perform in their
famous Las Vegas show.

Let's meet our first
potential fooler.

- My name is Shawn Farquhar,

and I'm
a professional magician.

Magic is truly in my DNA.

I learned my numbers
from a deck of cards,

which probably explains why,
in grade school,

I thought after ten came jack.

I eat, sleep, and drink magic.

[rock music]

Oh, sorry, I had something
stuck in my throat.

Every job I ever took ended up
going back towards magic.

I worked in a pizza place,

and I was doing tricks
with the pepperoni.

I would entertain the people
who watched through the window.

Actually, it's my second time
on "Fool Us.'

- We have no idea
how you got the [bleep] ball.

- It was probably the best

performance experience
I've ever done,

next to winning
the World Championship.

I never imagined
I'd fool them the first time.

It was a long shot.

But then, winning the Powerball
is a long shot,

and there's always a winner
in that, too.

[cheers and applause]

- For the first time ever,

we're bringing back someone who
already fooled Penn and Teller.

- Oh, no.

- Here to see if he can
do it again,

please welcome Shawn Farquhar.

[applause]

- Wow.

Back on the "Fool Us" stage.

You know the first word
that comes to mind?

Deja vu.

Gentlemen, if you recall,
the last time I was here,

I was the world champion
of card magic,

and I did a card trick.

And for me,
it was an awesome memory.

And speaking
of awesome memories,

that's what I'm gonna
demonstrate tonight,

with the help of Alyson.

Would you mind helping
for a moment?

- Oh, sure.
- Thank you so much.

- Alyson, I have a book.

This is "The Adventures
of Sherlock Holmes."

I want you to take
a look at the book

and make sure that
all the pages are different,

that it's not one page
repeated over and over again.

Every page is different
in the book.

It's a real book, yes?

- Yes.

- There are 200 and some odd
pages in there.

Average page has between
200 and 250 words,

which means there's somewhere
between 40,000 and 50,000 words.

I've memorized them all--

every page, every paragraph,
every sentence, and every word.

And you're gonna test me.

Sound like fun?
- Sure.

- Alyson, pick any page
you'd like in the book.

Tell me the page number,

and I'll tell you
what's written on it.

- Okay, 102.
- 102, it's excellent.

The first two words
that appear on 102

are "Sherlock" and "Holmes,"
am I right?

- Yes.
- I am, yeah.

I should point that out.

The top of every page
says "Sherlock" and "Holmes."

It's a gimme.

This is way too easy.

And you see,
I can see the pages,

so it's not really
test conditions.

Yeah, if you do that,
it just makes the book happy.

Here's what we'll do.

We'll do something
a little bit different.

Test conditions.

We'll turn so we're
not facing each other.

In fact,
we'll stand back-to-back.

- Hmm.

- Yeah, shoulder-to-shoulder,
cheek-to-cheek.

[laughter]

Oh, hey, you work out.

Okay, I want you
to open the book

to any page you'd like to now.

- A different page?

- A different page, because I
already saw stuff on that page.

And once you've
made a decision, say,

"Shawn, I've made a decision."

- I made a decision.

- That's awesome.

I'm happy with the decision.

Are you happy
with the decision?

- Sure.
- Good.

Now that we're both happy,

I want you to be
more like my wife.

And even though we've both made
the decision and we're happy,

I want you to change
your mind again.

- Okay.

- Is that too close for home?
- Yeah.

- Are you on a new page?
- Sure.

- For the firs time,
what is the page you're on?

- 64.

- 64, is there any way
you would have known

that you weren't gonna be
on 64 tonight?

- No, no.
- None, right?

Good, I want you,
quietly, just to yourself,

to count the number
of paragraphs

that are on page 64.

This was a lot easier
when I was younger.

- Okay.

- 64, yeah, on that side,

there's one, two, three,
four, five.

Five paragraphs,
am I right?

- Yes.

- And the first line
is actually the middle

of a person's name that begins
with, like,

"Von Ormstein, the Grand Duke
of Castle Feinstein."

Am I right?
- Yes.

- Yeah, it's continued
from the page before,

which, the last three words
on that page were, like,

"William Godstreet Sigmunds."

Is that right?
- Yes.

- Imagine that,
that I'm able to actually

discern those pages
as quickly as that.

Oh, it's okay,
we'll go another page.

We'll go to another page.

So back together,
back-to-back.

Now go to a different section,

maybe another 10 pages,
20 pages up,

wherever you'd like to.

Go to those pages, and tell me
what page you're on now.

- 140.
- 140.

That's an excellent choice.

140.

Okay, count the amount
of paragraphs

that are on page 140.

140.

Oh, this is good.

There's, like, a lot.

There's, like, 11 of them.

Is that right?

The second paragraph says, like,

"Good night,
Mr. Sherlock Holmes."

- Yeah.

- Which backwards
it would be, like,

"Holmes Sherlock,
Mr. Night Good."

Is that right?

- Are you cheating?

- Is that right?
- Yeah.

- Okay, okay,
just a second.

What did you say?

- Are you cheating?

I feel your back
moving a lot.

- I'm moving a little bit.

It's because I'm just thinking.

I'm just thinking.

Okay, let's try it again.

Go to another page,

a couple more pages
forward, maybe,

just so that we're 100% sure

that you're on a new page
and you're happy.

- Okay.
- What page are you on now?

- I'm on another page.

I'm not so happy.

- Oh, which one?

- 136.
- Oh, 136.

That's an excellent choice.

130...

Right about there.

136, 136.

Oh, it's on
the left-hand side.

The first word,
the largest word on that line

is the word "window,"
am I right?

- Yes.

- That's pretty amazing,
isn't it?

Think about it.
I just used my mind, Alyson.

In my mind,
I was able to discern

exactly where they were.

Think about it,
I mean, the chances of it.

I mean, look at the book.

Go to open up 137 again
and take a peek.

Yeah, go ahead.

- I could feel you moving.

- Moving a whole bunch,
yeah, yeah, it was my job.

137, and you can see--

- And I really
don't think this is--

- See, I counted,
one, two, three, four.

- That's a book.

- Yeah, I know
there's a book.

- You know they have
their eyes open.

- Oh, yeah, maybe I didn't
understand the show.

I know it's supposed to be
"Fool Us,"

but I was more enjoying
fooling you.

- Well, I'm an easy target,
but I'm not that--

- Should I share?

- Yes.

- My pages are blank.

The entire book is blank.

Did you like the glasses touch?

I thought the glasses touch
was nice.

There's not even, like,
glass in the glasses.

I just--

- Shawn Farquhar.

[cheers and applause]

That's crazy.

- Thank you.

- That was amazing.

- Did you want to look?

You can look.
It's cool.

- That's--
there's nothing.

- Oh, we did that so that
they could freak out.

- I'm freaking out.

First, I was like,
does he have a mirror?

What's happening?

He's clearly cheating.

- Yeah, a mirror would have
been a much better idea.

I should have used a mirror.

- Well, how do you come up
with your tricks?

- Sleep deprivation.

- Oh, that's good.

- Yeah, I gave up sleep
about four years ago,

and I travel a lot.

I basically live
on airplanes.

And it's all changed

because of my time
with Penn and Teller.

I'm amazed by how cool it was
that people recognize me

all over just because
of "Fool Us."

- That is so cool.
- Really good.

- And so, do you really think

that you could
possibly do it twice?

- No.

When I told my daughter that
I was gonna go on the show,

she said, "Why?"

She said, "Do you think
you can fool them twice?"

I said, "No, I really don't know
if I could do that."

- That would be really cool.

- Yeah, but I'm not
gonna hold my hopes,

because they're talking
for a long time.

- Well, that's good,
so maybe that's a good thing.

- They look very satisfied.

- Oh, oh.

- It's frightening.

- Ooh,
that's an interesting look.

Penn, Teller, did he fool you?

- You rat bastard.

- Oh.
- There he goes again.

- Is that a code word,
or is that a good thing?

- Do you think
you are playing with children?

- No, sir.

- There are people at home
who are going,

"Oh, he switched the books."

And you're thinking,
oh, Penn and Teller,

they're gonna say,
"He switched the books."

And then you're gonna
do something

like open up your coat

and show there's
no other book there,

or you're gonna
take off your shirt

or drop your pants,

or do something like that
to show there's no other book.

Or maybe there is another book,
and that's blank too,

just to make us
look like fools.

But you, you pig dog.

Fool us once, shame on you.

Fool us twice, shame on us.

We think it actually
is a memory trick,

and there was no
book switch at all.

And there is certain
kind of direction

on how many paragraphs
and so on,

but a lot of that
is in your head,

because you are
wicked, wicked smart.

And we are jaded,

and we will not fall
for your jive.

Bingo, we're done.

Get off the stage.

[cheers and applause]

- Wow, what does that mean?

Because I feel like
if you did fool them,

they might take out
a restraining order on you.

- I'm a little frightened
to tell them,

but I can't remember
my phone number.

- We didn't ask you
your phone number.

We asked about
Sherlock Holmes!

- There isn't any memory
technique at all used.

- And there's no book switch?

- And there's no
book switch either.

It's something else
completely different.

- Oh!

Fool on you.

[laughter]

- Bring it down.

Bring the damn thing down.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, my God.

- And you, sir...

you, sir, will be
on this show again

over my dead body.

Never are you coming
onto this stage again, ever.

We're done with you.

Go back to Canada.

- Yay!

Thank you so much,
seriously.

- Awesome.
- Amazing, man.

- Thank you so much.
- Just so amazing.

- Seriously, thank you.
- So amazing.

- That is so fantastic.

- Yay!

- Two-time fooler!

Shawn Farquhar!

Penn and Teller
have been fooled.

Let's see if it can happen again
when we come back.

- And make sure--make sure
you have four cards

with all different fronts
and the same backs

that you're willing to ruin.

And we'll do a trick for you
in your home

at the end of the show.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

[applause]

- Welcome back.

We've already had one act
fool Penn and Teller.

Do I hear two?

Let's meet our next
potential fooler.

- I'm Michael Kent
from Columbus, Ohio.

I do a standup comedy
magic show.

My show is really
high-energy,

but I'm sort of a smart-ass.

Can I say that?

I think of it as, like,
the magical embodiment

of a smirk.

When I was young,
I was fascinated by magic,

but drumming was my main thing.

I think that learning
to play the drums as a child

has really helped me
learn magic.

You're teaching yourself
how to learn on your own.

I'm performing a trick
with a bottle of alcohol.

I know that Penn and Teller
aren't big drinkers,

so I hope they'll be able
to look past that

and enjoy it nonetheless.

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome the
comedy magic of Michael Kent.

[applause]

- Would you like
to see something amazing?

Say, "Yeah."

all: Yeah!

- Oh, good.

This is a thing
with a bottle and a glass.

And the idea is to get
the bottle

and the glass to switch places.

I'm gonna do that using nothing
but these two red tubes.

[laughs]

I can still do it.

It's okay.

Nothing but these
two red tubes.

You cover the bottle,
you cover the glass.

One the count of three--
one, two, three.

Nothing happens.

Unless you're cross-eyed.
That was awesome.

It didn't work because I didn't
say the magic words.

The magic words are "change."

Help me out.

all: Change!

- Louder!

all: Change!

- I feel like Obama.

all: Change!

- Let's see if it worked.

[gasps]

The bottle is now here.

[laughs]

The glass is now here.

That's the easy part.

The hard part is getting them
to go back to where they were.

[laughter]

I need different magic words
for that.

Let's say,
"Make them go back."

all: Make them go back!

- Let's see if it worked.

What?

You did it.
You did it.

Sometimes I can actually
do this.

[audience reacts]

- I love that sound.

Let's do it again.

Remember, tube number one
covers the bottle.

Tube number--
oh, sorry, my bad.

Sorry, sorry.

Tube number two
covers the glass.

That's a bottle,
that's a glass.

We'll do it again,
we'll do it again.

Tube number one
covers the bottle.

Tube number two--
sorry, sorry.

Tube number two
covers the glass.

That's a bottle,
that's a glass.

We'll do it one more time,
using only one tube.

If you cover the glass,
that becomes a bottle.

If you cover the bottle,
that becomes a glass.

That means an extra bottle.

You put it right here.
You don't let people see it.

If you cover the glass,
that becomes a bottle.

If you cover the bottle,
that becomes a glass.

That means an extra bottle.

That means you got to
put it away.

Sometimes when I do this,
I don't use any glasses.

If you don't use any glasses,

of course,
you need to use two bottles.

We need an extra bottle.
I don't know why,

but it fits with the theme
of what I'm doing here.

There's another one here.

But if there's one here,
there's one here.

There's one here,
there's one here.

There's one here,
there's a glass here.

There's a bottle here,
there's a bottle there.

And that's the trick!

- Michael Kent!

Whoo!

That's fantastic.

Wow.

Will you come shopping
with me?

- Yeah, seriously.

- It would make it
so much easier.

- I was very popular
in college, that's...

- I would say so.

Now, you told me
a story backstage

about when you
were doing a trick

and somebody wasn't
a very good audience member.

- The strangest thing
that ever happened to me.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I was--

I was bitten.

- Mm-hmm, and it was
not a child, people.

- No, it was a grown
human woman person.

The woman really wanted to see
the coin that was in my hand,

and it wasn't time for that.

And so I pulled the hand
behind my back.

The next thing I felt,
she ran around me

and bit my hand.

- So weird.

- Have you ever
been bitten acting?

- Well, I was on a show called
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

[cheers and applause]

But...you know.
It was scripted.

- That makes sense.
- And I think I did some biting.

So it was all rehearsed.
It was good.

- Everything was even.

- On a happier note,

what's your dream,
you know, sort of venue?

- Being live on stage

at the Rio All-Suites
Hotel and Casino...

- In front of
Penn and Teller.

- In front of
Penn and Teller.

- Good answer.

- Yeah.

- Well, then, let's not make
you wait any longer.

Let's go to your heroes.

- Okay, sure.

- Penn, Teller.

- Well, you know, this is--

this is a take on a classic

from the 19th century
called Passe Passe Bottles.

Although, he's doing
a later version of that.

But I want to really address
something important here,

which is, there's this view
that laypeople have,

and I think even
some magicians have,

that real technical skill,
sleight of hand skill,

is cards or coins,
small stuff you manipulate,

and you can palm,
and you can do all this.

With apparatus magic,
they often think

that the props
are doing the trick.

I want people to know
how hard this is to do.

It's a really hard thing
to handle.

The speed that you do that,
the clarity, the cleanness,

not only of your--
obviously you're funny.

But everybody knows that.

And obviously
you're likeable.

Everybody knows that.

What they may not know is,
just handling those props.

If you told somebody,
here are the props,

here's how it's done,
here are the secrets,

they would still
stumble through it for months.

And you just have
a beautiful presentation.

You not only have bottles,
you have too many bottles.

And, you know,
I can see the label from here.

It's from
the Brooke Winery, isn't it?

- No, it's...

- Ken Brooke made all that wine.

- Yeah, yeah, I think
Ken Brooke did make

some of the wine, yes.
Yeah, he does--yeah.

- But it's a great routine.

- Thank you very much.

I appreciate that.

- Okay, so are you convinced
they know

how you did everything
and that you didn't fool them?

- I did not fool
Penn and Teller.

- Oh, well,
you certainly impressed them,

and us as well.

- Thank you, I appreciate it.
- Thank you so much.

Michael Kent,
ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

We're gonna take a break,

but we'll be right back
with more magic,

including a performance by
the legendary Penn and Teller.

Stay close.

[cheers and applause]

- Thanks for sticking around.

As a thank you,
I give you our next magician.

- I'm Nathan Burton.

Since I was a little kid,

I knew I wanted
to be a magician.

If you're a magician,

Las Vegas is the magic mecca
of the world.

I'm very lucky
that it's a family business.

I have my mom,
who's in charge of accounting.

I got my sister,

who's in charge
of the lighting, the sound.

My wife's in charge
of the showgirls,

the choreography,
the costumes.

And I actually have
my son in the show.

He's in charge
of being a baby.

My style is, I come out,
I hit them hard.

I do some big stuff.

I make four showgirls
appear out of an empty box,

the very first thing
in my show.

Penn and Teller, we're bringing
some big illusions,

bringing a couple showgirls.

And we might just fool you.

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome Nathan Burton.

- Thank you very much.

Wow, thank you very much.

Well, it's a pleasure
to be here.

And I got to tell you,
growing up as a kid,

I got in all kinds
of trouble growing up.

I remember on a Friday night,
my friends and I,

we'd go to the local
grocery store, go inside.

We'd buy maybe 100 rolls
of toilet paper.

We'd load it up in the cart,
we'd pay for it,

put it in our car,
drive through the neighborhood,

look for our friend's house.

If no one was around,
we'd take all the toilet paper,

throw it up in the trees.

And we used to call it
TP-ing a house.

Well, the problem was,
we couldn't do it fast enough.

So we came up
with a little invention,

and I want to show it
to you guys.

Here we go.

[intense music]

♪ ♪

Yes.

Please welcome to the stage
the lovely Stacy.

Everybody say,
"Hi, Stacy."

I have a little
magic marker.

Stacy's gonna come
out to Penn and Teller.

Kind of like a card trick.

I actually need, Penn,
for you to sign Stacy

so we know there's no copies,
there's no twins,

there's no duplicates.
- Oh, my goodness.

- So please sign on her arm,
anything you want.

You can change markers.

You can do whatever you want,

something that you'll recognize

so that you definitely
know it's Stacy.

What is he gonna write?

[applause]

Come on up.

What did he write?

Aw, that's very cool.

Are you guys ready?

Let's do it, come on.

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

Penn, please,
verify the signature.

Oh, careful.

Verify, is that--

- Yes.

- Thank you very much.

[cheers and applause]

- Nathan Burton, everybody.
- Good job.

- That was incredible, Nathan.
- Alyson.

Thank you very much.

- Did you--you made all of that?

- Yeah, we make it
in a shop here in town.

- I want to go
to that shop.

- Do you want your own show
in Vegas?

- No, I just want
to make all that stuff

to really impress my friends.

And then your wife
picks out--

- It's a family operation.

We have a little
afternoon show in Vegas,

at Planet Hollywood.

And it's my family.

It's my mom, it's my sister,
it's my wife,

and my brand-new baby boy,
he's one years old.

He comes to the show,
he watches the show.

And I put something new
in the show,

and he doesn't like it.

- Oh.
- He likes the old stuff.

- How can you tell your son
doesn't like something?

- He doesn't watch it.

- Oh, maybe if you, like,
put a teddy bear on it,

he'll like it.

- That's a good idea.
Look at you.

- Yeah, and what were you like
when you were a kid?

- Actually, I had
a learning disability.

They actually gave me
a test in school

to evaluate what kind of career,

what kind of job
you should have,

and the results came back,
and the teacher told me,

you need to pick a job
where you do not speak

in public or in front
of a large group of people.

- Oh, no.
Yeah.

- So I hope she's watching.

- Oh.

Penn, Teller?

- Oh, my goodness,
oh, my goodness, boy.

You know, we all work
in Vegas.

Nathan works in Vegas here
with us.

We know some
of the same people.

So, actually, I know Stacy,

because we travel
the same circuits.

So I know she's not a twin.

And also, I signed her,

which is a good
solution to that

There's something very nifty
about signing people, I think.

We also know--
and I bring this up often,

because it's important--

that there are no trap doors
in that stage that you can use.

We know that.

So you have to do a lot
of clever thinking on this,

and you sure did,
sure did really clever thinking.

And, you know,
because I know Stacy,

you know, and because
Teller knows Stacy--

we've seen her work before,

although not
in any trick like this--

you know, it was very hard
to keep our eyes

moving around the stage.

We kept staring at her.

You know, I really didn't
want Stacy to--

- I was hoping for that.

- I really didn't want Stacy
to notice our stares.

You know, as we were
staring at her,

both of us were,

we didn't want her
to notice the stares,

thought that would have kind of
ruined the trick a little bit.

And as far as the police officer
in the toilet,

your strong political
statement there...

[laughter]

- Hotel security guard.

- Hotel security guard.
- Hotel security guard.

- Oh, sure, sure,
that's okay, then.

We also have a little drawing
on that one, too.

So Teller will come up
and show you that.

And I'll come up
and talk to Alyson

while we're doing that.

- That's okay,
we've talked before.

I can just--
I really like his drawings.

- You know, once when I was
in magic camp...

- Ugh.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- A lot of talking for
someone who doesn't talk.

- A lot of talking for someone
who doesn't talk.

Just a lot of chitter-chatter,
chitter-chatter.

- Did he figure it out?

What's happened?

- These guys are pros.

- That's why they're
on the side of a hotel.

[laughter]

- When we were designing this
just for them,

we knew it was almost gonna be
impossible to fool them,

and they know what's going on.

- All right,
thank you so much.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Nathan Burton.

[cheers and applause]

Don't go anywhere, because
we've got more magic for you.

And remember,
later in the show,

you get to do a trick
with Penn and Teller.

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome back to "Fool Us."

I've got my cards ready.

Do you?

You're gonna need them
if you want to do a trick

with Penn and Teller
later in the show.

Meanwhile, it's time
to meet our next act.

- My name is Nathan Coe Marsh.

I'm from Orlando, Florida.

I'm an entertainer,
and have been for all my life.

Both my parents are artists,

so I grew up in a house

where you really felt
like anything was possible.

I got my start doing magic
in a small local comedy club.

Bunch of drunk people.

And learning to perform
in that environment

made me able to go in front
of really any group anywhere.

The most important element

is sitting right where
my audience would be

and trying to give them
what I would want

if I was sitting there.

The power of magic
is that, when it's done well,

it gives people
such an experience

that they're not used to,

that that mask
that we tend to wear

just kind of falls away
for just a second,

and we're really able
to connect with people.

[rock music]

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome
Nathan Coe Marsh.

[cheers and applause]

- Such a thrill to be here
on "Fool Us,"

where the most famous magicians
you've never heard of

leave the safety
of our parents' basements

for an epic showdown on TV.

In other words,
this is the Hunger Games

for 32-year-old virgins.

And, ladies,
just so you know, I'm 33.

We live in an amazing time.

I can get the answer
to almost any question

by reaching in my pocket,
giving my phone a couple taps.

But imagine technology's
next step:

I want something,
it just appears.

Tonight you're gonna be the
first people to experience this.

You're gonna think of something.

My challenge is to make whatever
it is you can imagine,

bearing in mind
it's a family show, real.

But it must fit
inside this glass jar.

Penn, Teller, if you would
just kind of take a moment,

make sure there's
no way in.

I'll leave it with you
for a few moments.

Make sure there's no way
in or out of the jar.

- Are we allowed to open it?

- Yes, please, absolutely.

By all means, yeah, make sure
there's nothing in the jar

but the faint aroma
of the Las Vegas strip.

And as they're doing that,
I should emphasize,

no one here is in on this,
nothing's been set up,

so that you guys know that
we're gonna make the process

so random, it's completely
out of my control.

Each of you has a card
and a pencil.

I'd like you to think
of something

that could fit inside our jar.

This could be a grape,
a flower.

Danny DeVito.

If it's small enough
to fit inside our jar,

that'll work for our purposes.

And as they're doing that,

Alyson, perhaps you would
join me for a moment.

- Sure.

- So, we have many hundreds
of possibilities, Alyson,

but we're only gonna need,
like, 20 or 30.

So I'd like you
to take this plate,

and please go out
amongst the people.

Get, like, 20 or 30
of those back.

And I'll ask you back on stage
in just a moment.

- All right.

- And as she's doing that,

Penn, Teller,
how is our jar looking?

- Looks great,
and it smells like--

- Smells good, yeah?

- Smells like root beer barrels.

- Oh, yeah, absolutely.

That's desperation
you're smelling there.

The fragrance of Las Vegas.

And this is our target.

So whatever you guys dream up

will make itself
inside this space.

I won't even touch it.

In fact, we're gonna
leave it isolated

in a series of boxes
about 10 feet off the ground.

So we got a jar inside a box,
inside a box,

just about 17 feet
above the earth.

And it looks like Alyson's
got a fair number.

And, Alyson,
perhaps you'll join me.

The people will show
their love for you.

[applause]

It's a pleasure, welcome.
It's good to see you.

And Alyson, yeah, please, yeah,
just set it down

and step back into my office.

So we have hundreds
of possibilities.

No, you can join,
you can stay.

Can she stay, guys?

[cheers and applause]

She gets to stay.
She gets to stay.

As random as we can be--
and, in fact, Alyson,

yeah, and let's step
into the light, shall we?

And if you would just
kind of turn your head,

reach inside, and grab one
for us, Alyson,

and hold it tightly
against yourself.

Just keep that card
very nice and warm.

And as she's doing that,
let's see what might have been,

because we have a few
different possibilities here.

So we have dice,
we have a dollar bill.

Not terribly ambitious.

Yahoo.

I'm not sure what that means,
but...

Penn and Teller,
I'd like you guys

to hold on to this as well,

so you make sure there are
many different possibilities.

- Sure, of course.
- Because had her fingers

moved just
a little bit differently,

Alyson would be holding on
to a different card.

And whatever Alyson's
holding on to,

I have to make it real...
in a jar...

25 feet...

[laughter]

above the earth.

And, Alyson, for the first time,
what is our object?

Shall we take a look?

A golf ball.

And now for a meaningless
dramatic gesture.

- Whew.

- It gets better, guys.

It gets better,
it gets better.

[light rattling]

[applause]

Alyson, yeah, hold it up.

Show it to the people.

Show it to the people
for us, Alyson.

In fact, if you would
be so kind,

just kind of take the lid off

and drop the ball
straight into my hand, Alyson.

Just kind of drop that
straight--

Oh, check this out.

Here, take a finger.

Give it a tickle, Alyson.

Give it a tickle.

- A tickle, oh.

- It's a real
solid golf ball, Alyson?

- Yes.

- And it's a real solid
glass jar.

No way in or out of the jar,
except through the top.

But the ball doesn't fit
through the top.

So the only way
this could happen

is if that ball
came into existence

inside the jar.

[cheers and applause]

Penn, Teller, we have a gift
for you gentlemen, as well.

- Thank you so much.

- That is amazing.

Nathan Coe Marsh, everybody.

That's incredible.

That is really amazing.

I just want to go,
"Nuh-uh!"

All right, well, gentlemen,

stop playing
with your balls.

And let's...

Let's talk to...

- Okay, wow.

Okay, there's a...

We don't believe
in the supernatural.

We do not believe
in the supernatural.

We are known for not
believing in the supernatural.

But I think there was some
work of the devil here.

I do think there was
some work of the devil.

- We are acquainted, yes.

- Yes, there was
some work of the devil.

You may have borrowed, actually,

a shirt or a tie
or a handkerchief

from the devil,
as a matter of fact,

in order to be able
to do that.

Now, I was very interested

in the growing height
of that pole.

- Yes.

- You started out saying
it was 10 feet high.

- Yes.
- Then it was 17 feet.

- Yes.
- And then it was 25 feet.

And, yet, it seemed to me

to be getting lower
instead of higher,

because to put that in there,

you needed the chair.

But to get it out,
you just reached up,

because I think part of the pole

fell in a little bit
to Harbin's ditch.

There was a little bit
of a depression there

that fell in there,

that you needed
the chair to get up,

but not to get it down.

So I think it was
all the work of the devil.

- It was, 100%, 100%.

- And the golf ball
in the jar...

I sure hope you can buy
these things.

We don't know
how you did that.

- There is a secret to that.

But you guys got so much
of it, that we're good.

- Okay, thank you.

- Okay, so you agree
that they know

everything there is to know?

- Yes, yes, absolutely.

- Well, thank you,
Nathan Coe Marsh.

Everyone, thank you
for entertaining us so much.

- Thank you, guys.
Thank you, guys.

- Thank you.

[applause]

All right, this is
your last chance.

Go find an old deck of cards
and grab four of them.

When we come back,

you will be performing a card
trick with Penn and Teller.

[cheers and applause]

- Normally, Penn and Teller
perform tricks for you,

but tonight they're going
to perform a trick with you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Penn and Teller.

- Get yourself four cards,

all different face,
all same backs.

Teller's handing out a few
right down there.

We're gonna do Penn and Teller's
Love Ritual.

If you follow this perfectly,
you will find love.

I don't care
what kind of love you want.

You want romantic love,
we got it for you.

You want familial love,
we'll give it for you.

You want platonic love
for some weird reason,

we'll give you that too.

This will find you love.

Take your four cards,
do this at home.

We don't want to know the order.

We don't even want you
to know the order.

Put them face-down
just like this.

Mix them up a little bit,
just mix them up.

Mix them up so you don't know
what order the cards are in.

That's important.

Now, follow what we're doing
carefully, okay?

Watch Teller or watch me,
but hold them.

Landscape mode,
parallel to the floor,

just like that,
the long way.

Now fold them in half.

You got to weaken your backbone
to find real love.

Fold them in half
just like that.

Fold them perfectly,
and then crease them.

And once you've creased them
like that,

fold them back the other way
and crease them again.

Now, it may look to you
like all you're doing

is weakening the middle
of these cards,

and that is all you're doing.

Keep folding them
back and forth

till they're nice and weak
in the middle.

All four of them,
right together, just like that.

When they're nice and weak,
you take them and you rip them,

as four all together,
right down the middle,

just like that.

You get four half cards
in one hand,

four half cards in the other.

You do not know
the order of them.

We do not care what half
you put on top of the other.

Put one half on top
of the other, just like that.

Now, from now on, we're gonna
call these half cards "cards."

Now, follow
the directions carefully.

We're gonna start out
really easy now, real easy.

Take the top card,
put it on the bottom.

That's easy, right?

You didn't screw that up,
did you?

No, you got that.

Okay, now take
the top two cards.

Take those from the top,
put them on the bottom.

Now it's gonna get
a little more complicated,

brothers and sisters.

Fan them out so you can see
all their backs, just like that.

And take the top three cards.

Be careful.
They stick together.

The top three cards,
just like that.

Do not put them on the bottom!

What are you, crazy?

Those top three cards,

we want to not know what order
they're gonna be in for anybody.

We want to screw that up,

so put them
somewhere in the middle.

You have a couple choices.

Put them somewhere
in the middle.

Everybody's orders are getting
differently, just like that.

They're all getting a little bit
different in the order.

You all put them
in a different place.

But now take that top card,
that top card.

Do not look at it!

What are you, crazy?

Don't look a that top card.

But put it near your heart,

somewhere where it
can feel your heart beat.

Put it right there,
so close to your heart,

so close to your love,
just like that.

Now, okay, now you're gonna take
one, two, or three.

We don't care how many.

One, two, or three cards.

Take them from the top.

One, two, or three.

And put them somewhere
in the middle.

We're just trying
to get everybody

to be a little bit different,

because love is always unique,
just like that.

Now, brothers and sisters,

you can't find love
just inside yourself.

You cannot do it.

Take the top card and exchange
it with somebody else.

Exchange it
with somebody else.

It does not need to be
someone you love.

It can be someone you hate.

[laughter]

- And take that card back.

That card is foreign.

That card doesn't
match any other.

That card doesn't fit in,
but that does not matter,

because love means accepting.

Put that card
somewhere in the middle.

That's all you got to do,
put it somewhere in the middle.

Now, no one's gonna see
what you do here,

so you can be honest.

Take one, two, or three cards.

One, two, or three,
one, two, or three.

One means your love life
has been very, very bad.

Two means your love life
has been pretty good.

And three means your love life
has been spectacular.

No one will see
how many you do.

But take that many cards,
and throw them away.

Get rid of them.

We don't need them at all.

Get rid of them.

Throw them away.

Throw them in the trash can
of bad love.

Now, you know, love takes time
to...fester.

We're gonna take
a symbolic week.

Mike Jones gonna
help me here.

Tear the top card,
call it Monday.

Put it on the bottom.

Next card,
call it Tuesday.

Put it on the bottom.

Next card, call it Wednesday.

Put it on the bottom.

Next card, Thursday.

Put it on the bottom.

Friday,
put it on the bottom.

Saturday,
put it on the bottom.

And Sunday,
put it on the bottom.

Now we all got a different
number of cards.

They're all
in a different order.

You even got a foreign card
in there.

We have no idea
what that order is.

But now we're gonna get
down to one card,

but you have
all different numbers,

all different numbers,

so some of you will stop
earlier than others.

But keep going till you get
down to one card.

Brothers and sisters,
I'm gonna say, "Loves me."

When I say, "Loves me,"
you all say--

No, don't just say.

You scream,
with all the love in your heart,

you scream, "Loves me!"

And take that card
from the top

and put it on the bottom.

That could be the one.

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put that card on the bottom.

Now it gets
a little bit sad.

I'm gonna say, "Loves me not."

When I say, "Loves me not,"
you say back--

or you don't say back.

You scream back, with all
the loneliness in your soul,

you scream back,
"Loves me not,"

and throw that card away.

That's bad love.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- In the trash it goes.

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not.

all: Loves me not!

- Throw it away.

[jazzy piano music]

♪ ♪

That was Minnesota 1978,
wasn't it?

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- Swipe left!

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- Break up by text.

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- You're all down to one.

Don't look at it!

Do not look at it.

Reach near your heart,
pull out that other card.

Do not look at it.

Do not look at it.

Hold them back-to-back.

In just a moment,
brothers and sisters,

I'm gonna say the word "now."

When I say the word "now,"

you turn those cards over.

If those cards match,
you have found love.

And take it from your heart
and scream to the heavens,

"I found love," and throw
both hands over your head.

Are you ready?

Now!

all: I found love!

- Yes, you did,
brothers and sisters.

You found love, didn't you?

You found love over here,
you found love over there.

We all found love.

You found love,
brothers and sisters.

You found your love.

Mike Jones on piano.

Stop, stop, Jonesy.

I see someone here
didn't find love.

Did your cards not match?

What does that mean?

What does that mean, Jonesy?

- I don't know.

- Huh.

It certainly doesn't mean

you're too stupid
to follow simple directions.

[laughter]

Ooh, I know.

It means you are gonna die
bitter and alone.

That's what it means.

The rest of us found love,
didn't we?

We found love,
brothers and sisters.

We found love.
Keep those cards forever.

Exchange them with someone.

We found love,
we found love, we found love.

We all--

♪ ♪

Doesn't necessarily mean...

you're gonna die
bitter and alone.

- Good.

I'm glad.

All right.

Now our night is complete.

Come back next week for more
"Penn & Teller: Fool--"

"Fool Us."

[cheers and applause]