All language subtitles for The.Middle.S01E02.1080p.WEBRip.x265-KONTRAST_track3_[und]

(Frankie)
OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE,

PEOPLE ARE STRAIGHT SHOOTERS.

THEY JUST SAY IT LIKE IT IS.

I GOT ONE OF THOSE TYPES
IN MY HOUSE AS WELL.

HELL, YEAH, YOU WERE
A MISTAKE. I MEAN, WE'RE HAPPY

THAT YOU'RE HERE NOW, BUT YOU
WERE DEFINITELY A MISTAKE.

IT'S FUNNY,
'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT FAT,

BUT THAT SKIRT SURE MAKES YOU
LOOK FAT.
(scoffs) WHO TOLD YOU SCRAPPY
WENT TO A FARM?

HE'S NOT ON A FARM.
HE'S DEAD.

**

OH, HEY, DAD,
I'M TRYING OUT FOR SWIM TEAM.

DO YOU WANT TO COME WATCH ME
SWIM LAPS AT THE POOL?
SOUNDS BORING.

MIKE.
IT DOES.

MIKE.
YOU SAYING MY NAME
OVER AND OVER

DOESN'T MAKE IT
SOUND LESS BORING.
(sighs)

BUT SOMETIMES THE FAMILY NEEDS
MORE THAN HONESTY.

IT NEEDS A CHEERLEADER,
AND THAT'S ME.

YOU KNOW, SUE, I THINK
WHAT YOUR DAD IS SAYING IS

IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.

(loud rattling)
THE DRYER'S MAKING
THAT NOISE AGAIN.

(whispers) NOISE AGAIN.

WHAT NOISE? YOUR DAD FIXED IT.
IT'S WORKING GREAT NOW.

(loud rattling and rumbling)

DAMN THING'S ON ITS LAST LEGS.
I CAN'T HEAR THE TV.

NO, WE CAN'T AFFORD A NEW DRYER
RIGHT NOW. IT'S FINE.

(TV volume increases)
DID ANYBODY GET THE MAIL?

GET MORE POP.
AXL, COME ON. LET'S GO.

AXL HAD TOLD US
HE WAS AT CHURCH GROUP

WHEN HE WAS ACTUALLY
STICKING HIS TONGUE

DOWN SOME GIRL'S THROAT
AT THE MALL.

SO HE'D EARNED HIMSELF ONE
OF MIKE'S FAMOUS PUNISHMENTS--

FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS,

HE HAD TO STAY WITHIN 5 FEET
OF A PARENT AT ALL TIMES.

(front door closes)

OH, MY GOD, MIKE.
IT'S 2009.

WHAT? ALREADY?

YEAH, MIKE. 2009.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

NO PAYMENTS TILL 2009.

NO PAYMENTS TILL 2009.

NO PAYMENTS TILL 2009.

THE ECONOMY'S GONNA BE GREAT
BY THEN.

GREAT. NOW WITH INTEREST,
WE OWE $650 ON A VCR WE SOLD

AT THE GARAGE SALE LAST YEAR
FOR 2 BUCKS.

(sighs) YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'LL BE FINE.

IT'S FINE.

IT'LL BE FINE.
WE'RE FINE.

THESE THINGS HAVE A WAY
OF WORKING THEMSELVES OUT.

AS LONG AS THE DRYER HANGS ON
AND I SELL A CAR THIS MONTH,

WE'RE GONNA BE FINE.

(rumbling and rattling
grows louder)

(dryer powers down)

FORTUNATELY, OUT HERE,

YOU ALWAYS HAVE NEIGHBORS
YOU CAN COUNT ON...

(knock on door)

HI. WOULD IT BE OKAY
IF I JUST THREW IN A QUICK DRY?

HI. HATE TO BOTHER.

JUST ONE MORE QUICK LOAD?

AND WHEN THAT FAILS...

(Brick) HELLO? HELLO? I'M HURT,
AND MY MOM AND DAD AREN'T HOME.

I'LL JUST DO THIS QUICK LOAD
WHILE YOU TRY TO FIND THEM.

YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M HERE.

SO THE BUSTED DRYER PILED ON
TO THE WHOLE 2009 THING

MEANT WE WERE GONNA HAVE
TO CUT CORNERS FAST.

FIRST UP,
A TRIP TO THE FRUGAL HOOSIER,

INDIANA'S NUMBER ONE
EXPIRED FOOD STORE.

SO ARE WE, LIKE, POOR NOW?

NO, WE'RE NOT POOR.
WE'RE JUST THRIFTY.

WE'RE TRYING SOMETHING NEW
CALLED LIVING WITHIN OUR MEANS.

YOU MEAN WE'VE BEEN LIVING
OUTSIDE OUR MEANS? OH, GOD.

YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME.
LISTEN, SMART CONSUMERS--

THEY'RE THE KIDS
WHO ARE POPULAR.

(cell phone rings)
BRICK, SHAKE SOME
OF THOSE UNMARKED CANS

AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND PEAS.
OKAY?
(ring)

WE'RE LISTENING FOR PEAS,
PEOPLE. HI, BOB.

FRANKIE, HI. IT'S ME, BOB.

Listen, Ehlert is throwing
a major hissy.

HE'S CALLING EVERYBODY IN FOR
SOME EMERGENCY MEETING AT 1:00.
1:00? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I WAS BARELY MAKING IT AT 3:00.
UNH-UNH. (whispers) NO FISH.
You've gotta get in here.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT,
AND I'M--I'M FREAKING OUT HERE.
OKAY, I'LL CALL MIKE
AT THE QUARRY AND FIGURE

SOMETHING OUT WITH THE KIDS.
I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN.

JUST BREATHE. OKAY, KIDS, NEW
PLAN. GOTTA GET TO WORK EARLY.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE POOL?

YOU PROMISED YOU'D WATCH ME
PRACTICE FOR SWIM TRYOUTS.

AND YOU SAID YOU WOULD TAKE ME
TO THE LIBRARY.

"THE WHEEL OF NULDOID"--

I HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT
BEFORE ANYBODY ELSE GETS IT.

YOU PROMISED.
(whispers) PROMISED.

OKAY, I KNOW I DIDN'T PROMISE
THAT MANY THINGS.

I'M NOT THAT NICE. LISTEN,
WE'LL SWING BY THE LIBRARY,

AND THEN WHEN YOUR FATHER
GETS HOME FROM WORK,

HE'LL TAKE YOU TO THE POOL.

BUT IF YOU KIDS EVER WANT TO EAT
NAME BRAND FOOD AGAIN,

I HAVE TO GET TO WORK.
COME ON. LET'S MOVE IT.

I LOVE THIS BOOK. I LOVE
THIS BOOK. I LOVE THIS BOOK.

I HATE MY LIFE.
I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE--

YOU GOT 5 FEET, MISTER.
USE ALL OF IT.

UH-OH. YOU HAVE A FINE.

OH, THAT'S NO PROBLEM. HOW MUCH?
WE'RE IN KIND OF A HURRY.

$189.

(gasps) YOU'RE KIDDING.

I'M SORRY,
BUT THERE IS NO WAY

THAT WE CAN PAY THAT FINE
RIGHT NOW.

I MEAN, OUR DRYER JUST BROKE,
AND I HAVEN'T SOLD A CAR,

AND IT'S 2009.

RIGHT. NEXT IN LINE.

MOM, DON'T THEY KNOW
WHO YOU ARE?

FLASH HER
YOUR FRUGAL HOOSIER CARD.

LISTEN, MY SON IS
A VERY ODD KID.

BOOKS ARE EVERYTHING TO HIM.
HE HAS NO FRIENDS.

(mouths words)

I'M SORRY, BUT UNTIL YOU PAY
THE FINE, YOU'RE BANNED.

OH...

AND YOUR LIBRARY CARD
HAS BEEN FLAGGED.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS A GOOD THING.

YOUR TEACHER SAYS YOU NEED
MORE SOCIAL INTERACTION.

AND BESIDES,
YOU'RE NOT WATCHING ENOUGH TV.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE
THE ONLY KID

WHO DOESN'T KNOW
WHO WON "THE BACHELOR."

YEP, THERE I WAS,
STILL CHEERLEADING,

FROM A HOLE GETTING SO DEEP
I COULD BARELY SEE THE SKY.

HEY, DID YOU COVER FOR ME?
I TOLD THEM THAT YOU HAD
A PREGNANCY SCARE ON THE WAY IN

AND ALSO THAT YOU BURST
AN ANEURYSM.

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT
I DO NOT THINK HE BOUGHT IT.

(sighs)
CURLER.

BUT TRAILING EVEN
THE MOST PATHETIC OF YOU IS

OUR NEWEST EMPLOYEE,
FRANCES HECK.

HER SALES RECORD IS MINUS ONE.

NEGATIVE UNO VEHíCULO--

THAT'S MEXICAN FOR "NOT GOOD."
WELL, YOU KNOW,
THERE IS A RECESSION ON.

ENOUGH
OF YOUR COMMUNIST WHINING.

IT'S ALWAYS
SOMEBODY ELSE'S FAULT--

THE ECONOMY, YOUR MAMA
DIDN'T BREAST-FEED YOU,

THE GOVERNMENT WON'T LET YOU
MARRY A HOUSEPLANT.

NOW I WANT TO HEAR SOME
SUGGESTIONS TO PERK UP BUSINESS.

AND DON'T ANYBODY SAY FREE MUGS.

WELL, I'LL THROW
YOUR STRAGGLERS A BONE.

HOW ABOUT A FREE AK-47
WITH EVERY SALE?

PEOPLE LOVE GUNS.

YOU REALLY WANT TO ARM
OUR CUSTOMERS?

ANYBODY ELSE?

OH! HERE'S A THOUGHT--
I WAS JUST IN

THE FRUGAL HOOSIER,
AND THEY HAVE

THESE RONALD REAGAN INAUGURAL
JELLY BEANS--50 CENTS A BAG.

HOW ABOUT WE FILL A CAR
WITH THEM

AND LET PEOPLE GUESS HOW MANY
FOR A PRIZE?
(scoffs)

I DON'T KNOW.
THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN.

HMM. CLEVER...

PATRIOTIC...

CHEAP.

YOU KNOW, I WAS GONNA FIRE YOU
RIGHT AFTER THE MEETING,

BUT I THINK I'LL JUST MOVE
THAT POST-IT TO NEXT WEEK.

HA!

HEAR THAT, PETE? NOT FIRED
FOR ANOTHER WEEK. YEAH, BABY.

HOO-HOO!

SO WHILE I WAS BUSY HANGING ON
TO MY JOB BY MY FINGERNAILS...
YEAH, SO GOOD.

(boy) CANNONBALL!
AT LEAST I KNEW MY FAMILY WAS
HAVING FUN

AT THE ORSON AQUATORIUM.

AXL, YOU GETTING IN?
POOL'S QUEER.

MM. BRICK, HOW ABOUT YOU?
YOU GETTING IN?

SWIMMING'S NO FUN
WITHOUT A BOOK.

THEN WHAT THE HELL
AM I DOING HERE?

COME ON, BRICK. LOOK AT
THOSE BOYS. THEY'RE HAVING FUN.

(boys screaming)

MOM SAYS
I'M SUPPOSED TO INTERACT.

SO CAN I TELL YOU THE PLOT

OF THE BOOK I WASN'T ALLOWED
TO CHECK OUT?

CHAPTER ONE--"GRAMPA'S STORY."

"GRAMPA WORST WAS OLD
AND DYING--"

OH! OH, DADDY! I'M READY
FOR YOU TO WATCH ME SWIM NOW.
HEY, FINALLY.

AT LEAST ONE OF MY KIDS
IS ACTUALLY GETTING IN THE POOL.

"HE WAS DYING OF SOMETHING
OLD PEOPLE DIE OF."
TELL YOUR BROTHER.

ALL RIGHT, SUE! COME ON, KID.
SHOW US HOW IT'S DONE.

(thud)

HI, GUYS.

DID YOU HAVE FUN AT THE POOL?

(crying) DAD SAID
THAT I SUCK AT SWIMMING

AND I SHOULDN'T TRY OUT
FOR SWIM TEAM.

THEN I BOUGHT YOU
A CREAMSICLE.

(mouths word)

AND TAKE HIM
TO THE BOWELS OF THE EARTH.
SPEAKING OF BOWELS,
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

HEY, NO COMPLAINTS. THAT CHICKEN
OR BEEF STEW LAST NIGHT

WAS GREAT,
AND WE ALL KEPT THAT DOWN.
NOT COMPLETELY TRUE.

AND AFTER
THE GIANT TUNNEL HOLE,

THEY GO TO THE ANCIENT SLIDE
OF THE DROIDEN FROBBLE DYNASTY.

OKAY, BRICK, HONEY,
GREAT SOCIAL INTERACTION TODAY.

NOW PLEASE GO FIND A BOOK.

THERE MUST BE ONE BOOK
IN THE HOUSE YOU HAVEN'T READ.
OKAY.

HEY, CHAMP.

MOM SAYS I'VE HAD ENOUGH
SOCIAL INTERACTION TODAY.

OKAY. CATCH YOU LATER.

I WAS STILL MAD AT MIKE,

BUT I HAVE
A PRETTY GOOD POKER FACE.

FRANKIE, YOU WEREN'T THERE.
YOU WEREN'T AT THE POOL.

SHE WAS BAD. SHE WAS...

RHYTHMIC DANCE TEAM
TRYOUT BAD.

ALL RIGHT, WELL,
JUST BECAUSE SHE SUCKS

DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD
TELL HER THAT SHE SUCKS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT DOES
FOR HER SELF-ESTEEM?
OH. (scoffs) YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT
I WAS TAKING 'EM TO THE POOL.

IF I HAD KNOWN IT WAS GONNA BE
ANYTHING ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM,

I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?
5 FEET, DAD.

WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE,
FRANKIE--LIE TO HER?

SINCE WHEN DID TELLING THE TRUTH
BECOME A BAD THING?

SUE'S A SENSITIVE YOUNG GIRL WHO
NEEDS TO BE TREATED DELICATELY.

HER EMOTIONS ARE
RIGHT ON THE SURFACE.

SHE'S NOT AXL.

(glass squeaking)

WE'RE HER PARENTS, MIKE.

IT'S OUR JOB TO CHEER HER ON,
NO MATTER WHAT.

HEY, I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, AND I'M
NOT GONNA HAVE HER MADE FUN OF.

IF SOMEONE'S GONNA DASH
HER HOPES, DAMN IT,

IT SHOULD BE HER FAMILY.
(door closes)

MOM, DAD, GUESS WHAT? THEY DID
AN EYE TEST TODAY AT SCHOOL,

AND I NEED GLASSES.

IN RETROSPECT,
I GUESS THERE WERE SIGNS.

OH, I ONLY WANT ONE.

I DON'T NEED BOTH OF THEM,
BUT THANKS.

(telephone rings)
I GOT IT!

ISN'T IT EXCITING?
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED GLASSES!

(chuckles)

MIKE, DON'T YOU SEE
WHAT THIS MEANS?

THAT WE'RE NEVER GETTING
A NEW DRYER?

NO, THIS EXPLAINS WHY SUE NEVER
MAKES ANYTHING. SHE'S BLIND.

OH, MIKE.

SEE, YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN LIFE.

THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T DASH
SOMEONE'S DREAMS.

RIGHT. THAT'S WHY YOU C--
HEY.

MOM? WHICH PART OF ME IS
MY HUNGERING MANHOOD?

IF THE LIBRARY FINES WERE
HALF A DRYER...
LET ME SEE THAT.

GLASSES WERE A WHOLE DRYER...
HUH.

BUT LUCKILY, THE FRUGAL HOOSIER
HAS AN OPTICAL DEPARTMENT

AND NO MIRRORS.

DORK.

DORK.

I WOULD NEVER STOP
PUNCHING YOU.

(Mike) KNOCK IT OFF.

SHE'S A YOUNG GIRL WITH EMOTIONS
ALL OVER HER SURFACE

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

ANYWAY, OUR JOB IS
TO CHEER HER ON.

OH, MY GOD.

THOSE LOOK SO GREAT.
SERIOUSLY.

I THINK YOU SHOULD
REALLY, REALLY BUY THEM.

OKAY. GUESS THESE ARE THE ONES.
(chuckles)

THERE IS NO STOPPING ME
ON SWIM TEAM NOW.

Y-YOU'RE STILL TRYING OUT?

YEAH. MOM TOLD ME
YOU SAID I SHOULDN'T TRY OUT,

'CAUSE YOU WANTED TO TEST
HOW MUCH I REALLY WANTED IT.

WELL, I WANT IT, DAD,
NOW MORE THAN EVER.

WELL, IF THAT'S
WHAT YOUR MOM SAID,

THEN I'M SURE
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.
MM-HMM. (chuckles)

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

IT'S ALL THAT'LL FIT.

OH, DOESN'T THIS LOOK GREAT?
OOH!

I THINK THIS IS
REALLY GONNA BE...

(man over P.A.) FRANKIE,
YOUR HUSBAND IS ON LINE ONE.

HE WANTS TO TAKE A SHOWER

AND NEEDS YOU ON THE LINE
WITH AXL UNTIL HE'S OUT.

HEY, THAT IS HIS PUNISHMENT!
TELL HIM TO MAKE AXL

PUT ON A BATHING SUIT
AND GET IN THERE WITH HIM.

(sighs deeply)

SO HOW'S IT GOING OUT HERE?
OH. UH, MR. EHLERT, SIR.

HARD AT WORK.
IT MAY LOOK LIKE FUN,

BUT IT'S--IT'S WORK,
WORK, WORK.

YOU DID GOOD, FRANCES.

SINCE THIS WAS YOUR IDEA,
MY COMMISSION ON THE FIRST SALE

OF THE DAY GOES TO YOU.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
OH, MR. EHLERT,

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH
THIS MEANS TO ME.

MY DAUGHTER SUE NEEDS GLASSES
AND OUR DRYER BROKE--

ALREADY STOPPED LISTENING.

SO, UH, HOW MANY JELLY BEANS
ARE IN THERE?

OKAY, SO WE FORGOT
THE LITTLE DETAIL

OF COUNTING THE JELLY BEANS.

I WASN'T GONNA LET THAT
SET US BACK.

THERE'S A SOLUTION
FOR EVERYTHING.

425,362 JELLY BEANS.

WOW.

ISN'T HE SMART?
HE IS SO SMART.

DAMN IT, HE DESERVES A BOOK.

I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD
A NEW DRYER.

BUT I COULD FIGURE OUT
A WAY TO GET MY KID HIS BOOK.

PLUS, I HAD TO KEEP HIM
OUT OF MY BOOKSHELF.

AND THEN WHEN THE RAKISH COUNT
STORMED INTO THE ROOM,

HER BOSOM HEAVED.

THAT MEANS SHE THREW UP.

(whispers) PSST. KID.

YEAH. COME HERE.

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO CHECK OUT THIS
BOOK FOR ME ON YOUR CARD, HUH?

NO, NO. YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TELL ANYBODY.

IT'LL JUST BE
OUR LITTLE SECRET.
I DON'T KNOW.

OH, COME ON. WHAT'S GONNA
HAPPEN? NOTHING. I PROMISE.

(singsong voice)
I HAVE JELLY BEANS.

OKAY.

GREAT. HERE. AND REMEMBER,
DON'T TAKE CANDY FROM STRANGERS.

I MEAN, I'M OKAY,
BUT IN THE FUTURE, DON'T DO IT.

I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU
IN THE BUSHES.

AND MY IDEA WAS A HUGE SUCCESS.

(speaks indistinctly)

IF THAT DON'T BEAT ALL--
A WHOLE CAR FULL OF JELLY BEANS.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN
ALL OVER THIS COUNTY,

AND I AIN'T NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE IT.
YEAH.

EXCUSE ME?
YEAH?

IS THE ACTUAL JELLY BEAN CAR
FOR SALE?

I JUST THINK
IT'S A HOOT AND A HALF.
WELL, YES, IT IS. AND--AND AFTER
THE BIG EVENT IS OVER,

I'D BE HAPPY TO MAKE YOU
A GREAT DEAL.
OH, OKAY. THANK YOU.

HERE.
OH, THANKS.

YEP, WE WERE GONNA BE OKAY.

2009 MIGHT HAVE
STARTED OUT BAD,

BUT I WAS WORKING MY WAY
BACK TO ZERO

ONE JELLY BEAN AT A TIME.

AND THAT...

HEY. WHAT DO
YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

YOU'RE OUTSIDE THE LIMIT.
BRING IT IN 4 INCHES.

THERE YOU GO.

LADIES AND GENTS, THANKS FOR
COMING TO EHLERT MOTORS.

WE'VE GOT GREAT DEALS
ON ALL OUR VEHICLES,

SO PLEASE, DON'T RUSH OFF.

WE'VE GOT MANY KNOWLEDGEABLE
SALESMAN AND A WOMAN

TO SHOW YOU AROUND.

ALL RIGHT, NOW FOR THE WINNER.
(drumroll)

THERE WERE 425,362 JELLY BEANS
IN THE CAR.

(customers groan)

SO THE CLOSEST GUESS,
WITH 12,001 IS...

CECIL HAGEN!

WELL, IF THAT
DON'T BEAT ALL. (laughs)

CONGRATULATIONS.

HEY, I WON! (laughs)

NOW, KIDS,
WHEN THAT DOOR OPENS,

YOU GO AHEAD AND SCOOP UP ALL
THE JELLY BEANS YOU CAN HOLD.

FRANCES, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DO THE HONORS?

ME?

OH. WELL, IT WAS MY IDEA.
(chuckles)

OKAY, EVERYBODY READY?

READY?

(drumroll)

A LITTLE STUCK. (chuckles)

(all groan)

(Frankie chuckles nervously)

JUST A...
OKAY, EVERYTHING'S OKAY.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE WARM OUT
TODAY,

SO THE JELLY BEANS
JUST NEED A LITTLE--

LITTLE BIT OF HELP TO GET OUT,
AND...

(woman) EW!
(woman) LET'S GO.

NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, DON'T GO.
NO, DON'T GO. WAIT.

NO. OH, THIS WILL CLEAN UP
REALLY GREAT.

YOU CAN STILL BUY IT. I'LL GIVE
YOU A GREAT DEAL. A GR--

WELL, THIS JUST PROVES
THAT SOMETIMES

THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB
IS A MAN.

I'LL PUT THE COST OF CLEAN UP
ON YOUR TAB, FRANCES.

THIS ROUGHLY MAKES YOU....

NEGATIVE TWO.

NO, NO. NO, NO, I CAN FIX IT.

LOOK. HERE. WAIT. WAIT.

DAMN IT. I WAS SO CLOSE
TO GETTING US OUT OF THIS HOLE,

BUT IT'S JUST GETTING DEEPER.

AND NOW I WAS SUPPOSED
TO GO CHEER SUE ON

IN SWIM TEAM TRYOUTS.
WHOO-FRICKIN'-HOO.

WHERE'S SUE?
DID I MISS THE TRYOUTS?

MIKE,
I THOUGHT HE WAS PUNISHED.

HE LURED HER INTO THE PERIMETER.
WHAT COULD I DO?

WHAT IS HE DOING?
I WHORED MYSELF FOR THAT BOOK.

I PROMISED IT WOULD BE
RETURNED SAFELY.

HEY, IT GOT HIM INTO THE POOL.
OH.

ARE THOSE JELLY BEANS
IN YOUR HAIR?

BRICK, BRICK, FLOAT VERY
CAREFULLY OVER TO THE SIDE.

I NEED THAT BOOK
OUT OF THE POOL.

OH, MOM!
MOM, YOU MADE IT!
(whistle blows)

I'M UP.

OH, SUE, YEAH. YEAH,
I MADE IT. I MADE IT.

I'M HERE NOW.
SWIM FOR ME, BABY!

WHOO! OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
GO, SUE! GO, SUE!

(thud)

IT WASN'T HER EYES.

MIKE WAS RIGHT. SHE SUCKED.

OH!

OKAY, IT'S FINE.
IT'LL BE FINE.

YEAH, WE'RE FINE. WE'RE FINE.
IT'S FINE.

(alarm blaring)
TORNADO!

OH, COME ON!

IT CAN'T BE A TORNADO.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL, SUNNY DAY.

(thunder rumbling)

I HATE INDIANA WEATHER.

(sighing)

MOM,
ARE WE GONNA BE OKAY?

(wind whistling)
I DON'T KNOW.

HUH?

I DON'T KNOW
IF WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY, SUE.

(laughs) I REALLY DON'T.

FRANKLY, I HAVE NO EVIDENCE
THAT WE WILL.

THAT'S NOT
WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY.

OH, I KNOW. I KNOW. I'M JUST
SUPPOSED TO PICK YOU ALL UP

AND TELL YOU
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!

YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?
YOUR DAD'S BIG ON TRUTH.

BASICALLY, OUR LIVES SUCK
RIGHT NOW.

I'M NOT GONNA SUGARCOAT IT.

2009 HAS BEEN
A ROTTEN, ROTTEN YEAR.

WE CAN'T AFFORD A NEW DRYER.
WE CAN'T AFFORD UNEXPIRED FOOD.

I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD
THE L.C.D. LIGHT-UP ANGEL

THAT I ORDERED ON THE TV

TO SURPRISE YOU ALL
AT CHRISTMAS. SURPRISE!

(sighs) IF I DON'T SELL A CAR,
THAT MEANS NO JOB.

THAT ALSO MEANS
MAYBE NO HOUSE,

BUT THE TORNADO WILL PROBABLY
BLOW IT ALL AWAY ANYWAY.

OH, MY GOD.
LET'S JUST PACK IT ALL IN.

LET'S JUST GIVE YOU KIDS
TO MADONNA OR SOMETHING.

YOUR DAD AND I WILL GO LIVE
IN A TENT CITY SOMEWHERE,

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS,
WE ARE SCREWED!

(thunder rumbling)

BUT IT'S FINE. NO, I--

EVERYTHING'S FINE.

WE'LL BE FINE.

FRANKIE.

WE'LL GET THROUGH.

(crying)

YEAH.

WOW. WHO KNEW I WAS LIVING WITH
MY OWN PERSONAL CHEERLEADER?

MIKE WAS RIGHT.

WE WOULD GET THROUGH,
SAME AS ALWAYS.

'CAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER
HOW BIG THE STORM

OR HOW MUCH STUFF
GETS BLOWN YOUR WAY--

IF YOU HAVE EACH OTHER,
THAT'S EVERYTHING.

'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING
MORE IMPORTANT THAN--

HOLY CRAP! IS THAT A DRYER?

YOU SEE IT, TOO,
RIGHT, MIKE?

THE TORNADO GAVE US
A DRYER.

QUICK. GET IT INSIDE
BEFORE ANYBODY SEES.

OH, MY. WHOO!

OUR LUCK STARTED
TO TURN AROUND AFTER THAT.

SOME STUPID BANK
ACTUALLY APPROVED US

FOR A BRAND-NEW CREDIT CARD,

SO WE PAID OFF
BRICK'S LIBRARY FINES...
(whistles)

WE WERE ABLE
TO AFFORD CONTACTS FOR SUE,

AND SHE ACTUALLY MADE
THE SWIM TEAM--

WELL, 34th ALTERNATE.

AND THE BEST PART
OF THE NEW CREDIT CARD?

NO PAYMENTS TILL 2012.

AND I'M SURE BY 2012,
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE GREAT.

OKAY. SEE, THIS IS WHY
YOU NEVER GIVE UP HOPE--

BECAUSE ANYTHING
IS POSSIBLE.

I MEAN, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

YOU JUST GOTTA HANG IN THERE
AND BELIEVE AND--

(gasps) HOT DAMN!
THERE'S EVEN CLOTHES IN THERE!