All language subtitles for Will & Grace (1998) - S03E20 - An Old-Fashioned Piano Party 1080p WEBDL h264 AAC 2.0

Jack eat something. Come on.

I bought you this yummy
lavender cupcake.

Yeah, with rainbow sprinkles.
The color of our flag.

Thanks, guys, but...

ever since Rocco dumped me,
I can’t eat a thing.

It’s like I'm becoming
"manorexic."

I know. Breakups are hard.

Especially after all the time
you and Rocco spent together.

You know, both days?

I’ll never
get over this. Gosh!

Come on! That’s not
the Jackie I know.

You take a lickin’, and you keep
on tickin’. So you can...

keep on lickin’.

Maybe I should eat
a little bit of that cupcake.

You really shouldn’t use food
to suppress your pain.

Yeah. Thanks for bein’
so supportive, G.

But right now I just kind
of wanna be alone
with my thought.

Oh, I should probably
help with the check.

Okay, so, what sounds
better at a party?

"I just got back
from Bora Bora,"

or "I just got back from
the coast of Australia"?

And before you answer,
keep in mind that
with Australia,

there’s lots of opportunity
for puns on the phrase
"down under."

What are you talking about?

Joe and Larry and I
are going on a scuba vacation.

How fun! Are you gonna
take anyone else?

Hint, hint.

You mean someone who’d spend
a 13-hour plane flight going

"What’s that? What's that noise?
What’s that?"

Well, you know,
the sound of 50 packets
of nuts being opened

at the same time
sounds a lot like
a wing falling off.

I gotta pee like a racehorse.

I don’t mean a lot.
I just mean throwing
my mane back and snorting.

Grace?

Heidi!

Oh, my God!

I was just thinking about you.

- No, you weren’t.
- No, I wasn’t.

[laughter]

God, it’s been so long.
How are you? How’s Charlie?

Oh, you know,
I don’t know.

We kind of drifted apart.

He moved to San Francisco
a couple years ago,

met a guy at a Pottery Barn,

had a glass of chardonnay
and poof! Instant couple.

What? You guys were
best friends. You did
everything together.

Oh, gosh. I still remember
that Halloween when he
went as Cindy Crawford

and you went as her mole.

What happened?

Nothing happened. You know,
gay man, straight woman.

It’s not like we had anything
holding us together.

You know,
like a house or kids.

You must’ve been through
something like that with Will.

Uh, no.
We’re still together.

Roommates, havin’ fun,
doin’ stuff.

No offense, sweetie,
but I know how to keep
my gay man.

[laughs]

Well, good for you.

I guess you and Will
are the exception.

- I guess.
- Oh! I have to go.

- Definitely call me.
- I will.

- No, you won’t.
- No, I won’t.

Another cupcake.

Hey.

Oh, uh,
you just missed Heidi Dauro.

- No way.
- Yeah.

You know, she doesn’t
talk to Charlie anymore.

He just up and moved
to San Francisco.

Well, good for him.

Why good for him?

I don’t know. What did
he have keeping him here?

- Okay. Good-bye.
- Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

We haven’t filled in
the crossword puzzles
with dirty answers yet.

I know, but I want to be early
for my scuba class.

When I get there late,
I get the bad wet suit.

You put it on, it makes
that "pbbbt" sound,
and everybody giggles.

[theme music playing]

Will, come on.
Put the stuff down
and come sit with me.

- What? Say again.
- I really need to talk to you.

Ooh. The creature
from the hot lagoon.

Make it quick.
I’m sweaty in places
I never even knew existed.

Okay.

The other day
I was thinking that

you and I have been
friends for a...

long...

time... All right. Okay.
Enough. I want to talk to you.

All right.

You know, these things make
everything look bigger.

Good. You can take it
on your next date.

Okay. I was thinking

that you and I should invest
in something together.

Like what? Your debt?

No. Something
for the both of us.

[knocking on door]

Just tell me what
you’re thinking.

I’m not thinking
of anything specific.

Hi. Where do you want
the piano?

Over there.

Any thoughts at all?

Of course.
The perfect investment.

Matching guys in weight belts.

Hey. Guys in rubber suits
shouldn’t throw stones.

Thanks, guys.

You bought a piano?

No. I can’t afford a piano.

We bought a piano.
Okay, before you freak out...

Really, between
the two of us, it’s
really not that expensive,

and I think it would
be really great for us
to own something together.

I mean,
the piano is perfect.

In my family, no matter
how far away we got from each
other or how much we fought,

the piano always brought us
back together again.

Yeah. There was one time
my family fought

and got real far
away from each other.

We called it the Eighties.

I don’t know, Kar.

I’ve never felt a pain
quite like this.

They tell you
to stretch before love.

Eh, I didn’t listen.

But I have found that it helps
to throw myself into my writing.

You can write?

You know I’m a writer.

I completed three short novels
by the time I was ten.

In fact, my first one,
"Forbidden Fort
From Cushions"

received critical acclaim
from my nana.

- Honey, are you wearing base?
- A little bit.

Okay.

So, I’ve decided to write

my relationship with Rocco
the way it should have been.

I’m turning my pain into art.

"To Weep and to Willow:
a Harlequeen Romance."

- You want me to read you some?
- You can read?

A little bit.

Here it goes.

"Christian awoke with a start.

There was Giovanni,
looming large. At least
from the side view.

His eyes, black as sin
and burning with lust.

Christian felt his man heat
rise within his being.

Suddenly, Giovanni seized
his mouth, devouring his soul.

Their tongues struggled
to find each other
in a wildly ravishing kiss

that ripped through Christian
like a bolt of lightning."

Cheese and rice,
that is so hot!

There are places I re...

...member all my...

life.

Though some have
change. Changed.

Changed-changed-changed.

Yeah! That is good!

I can’t believe
what a good piano player

you’ve become
in just four or five days.

Well, I have you to thank
for that video,

"How to Become
a Good Piano Player
in Just Four or Five Days."

This is so fun.

- Gotta go.
- What?

- Where are you going?
- We got plans.

A bunch of us are
gonna go see cute guys
in their underpants.

That’s actually
the name of the play.

What’s it about?
I don’t think we care.

So, what? You’re just
gonna blow me off?

Okay, look...

I didn’t say anything
Thursday night

when you made me skip going
to the gym so we could work

on our Elton John
Kiki Dee number.

And I didn’t say anything
last night

when you kept me up
till 3 a.m. learning the Mikado.

By the way,
do you have any idea
how hard it is to get

"Three little maids from school
are we" out of your head?

But tonight, I just want
to do something else.

But the piano will miss you.

I will miss you, Will.

You know how sometimes
you think something’s
gonna be really cute

and then it just turns out
kind of creepy?

Okay...

- I will see you later.
- Fine.

I don’t know why
we bought this thing
if you weren’t gonna play it.

Grace, what is going--
Are you okay?

Yeah. yeah,
I’m fine. It's just...

a little case
of "pianis interruptus."

No, I’m fine.

Okay, I’ll see you later.

Three little maids
from school are we, filled
with the br-- Damn it!

[phone ringing]

"Giovanni’s fingers tore
wildly at the lacings

of my seafoam green
polar fleece."

[phone rings]

"Like some fantastic
farm animal, he grunted
and whispered...

’Tonight, my love,

you will see
the face of God.’

Christian closed his eyes
and received him hungrily."

Lord, this is hot.

Hey, Kare.

Do you know if Joseph Aldi
happened to call and say

what he thought of my design
for the breakfast nook?

"He shuddered
and screamed out, I am reborn!"

I knew the marble countertop
would be a big splash.

Karen,
can I ask you something?

Oh, yeah. Give it to me.

Well, Will and I bought
this piano together,

and for the first couple
of days, it was great,

- but now, it seems like
he’s bored with it.
- Ooh! ouch!

Like last night.

He just up and walked out
in the middle of our sing-along.

Filthy beast!

Well, that’s a little strong.

Give it right back to him.

You know what?

I will. You know,
he doesn’t understand
how important this piano is.

That’s it!
That’s the stuff!

If you’re gonna bring
something into your life,

you have to invest
some time into it.

Yes. Heh.

I mean, it’s a commitment,
and I mean that means

both people
have to be committed to it.

- Right?
- Yes! Yes!

I mean, I’m not gonna let him
just walk away from this.

I’m gonna protect
what’s important in my life.

- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Yes! Yes! Yes!

Thanks for your support,
Karen. I feel better.

Oh, Grace, when
did you get here?

97, 98...

99...

100.

1...

2...

Honey, your words are rocking
my world and my pants.

Why aren’t you typing,
you big, merry sissy?

I don’t need to write anymore.
Rocco and I are back together.

No, Jack,
I need these pages.

I’m getting so many images
from this stuff,

sex with Stan has gone
from "I’ve got a headache"
to "I’ve got to have it!"

Sorry, Kar, no can do.

But, honey, I’ve got to know
what happens next.

I’m addicted to these stories.

Which is odd
because I don’t have

an addictive personality.

Hey, even if I wanted
to write something,

I couldn’t,
’cause I'm happy now.

Pain was the coal that fueled
the choo-choo of my art.

So, what are saying, honey?
If you...

If you weren’t with him,
I’d have my stories?

Probably, but I am with him.

- But if you weren’t...
- But I am.

- But if you weren’t...
- But I am.

- But if you weren’t.
- But I am.

[elevator bell dings]

Three little maids from--
Damn it!

- Hey.
- Hey.

Listen, about last night,
thanks for understanding.

You know, I just needed
to be around people.

Oh, I know.
I was just being selfish.

Of course you should
see your friends.

Well, I’m glad
you feel that way,

’cause you know
I’m going out again tonight.

Oh, I know. You gotta
have friends, right?

- That’s right.
- Hit it!

’Cause you gotta
have friends.

The feeling’s
oh, so strong.

Surprise!

Surprise!

Hi, friends, and Mr. Zamir.

- What’s going on?
- What’s going on?

You don’t have to go out

because I brought
your friends to you

for an old-fashioned
piano party.

It’s kind of like
an old-fashioned bore,

except it has the words
"piano" and "party" in it.

Ladies and gentle-ladies,

I would like to dedicate
a song to my Rocco.

The love theme from
"A Man and a Woman".

Or as I like to call it,
"Two Men."

Why did you throw me
a piano party when you
knew I was going out?

’Cause it's so much more fun.

I mean, this way you can
bring your friends

to the old-fashioned
piano party, and, really--

Will, everyone loves
an old-fashioned piano party.

Please stop saying
"old-fashioned piano party."

There’s no such thing
as an old-fashioned piano party.

Just because you keep saying
"old-fashioned piano party",

- doesn’t mean it exists!
- I have to tell you,

this is a great
old-fashioned piano party.

Even better than the ones
my mom used to throw.

[chuckles]

I’m laughing because
I’m uncomfortable,
and I don’t know why.

Oh, oh, you know what
we need to do?

Our Captain
and Tennille number.

No. Not even
if I get to be Tennille.

What’s the matter with you?
You’re acting like a nutball.

My mistake,
an old-fashioned nutball.

Honey, I’m desperate.

What’s it gonna take
to get you to break
up with Jack?

Well,
I really love him, so...

50 bucks?

50 bucks, huh?

I guess my kids won’t have
their "pay off the bully"
money tomorrow, but...

But that’s okay,
’cause I'm the bully!

[cackles]

Get out of here. Get out.

Enough is enough
is enough is enough
is enough is enough.

That’s enough!

Okay, time for
root beer floats.

That should get Will
into the spirit

of the old-fashioned
piano party.

Count me out, Grace.

Joe’s been very upset
with my love-handles

or as he calls them,

"I don’t want
to touch you, Larry."

Come on, Larry, let’s go.
It’s margarita madness
at Crisco Disco.

- Ohh! That sounds fun.
- Larry, you and Will
aren’t going out, are you?

No.

- Fine. I’ll go alone.
- [Grace] Everybody!

Will really wants to play
the piano, but he’s
a little shy.

Maybe you can give him
a little help, okay?

[all cheering]

I don’t want to play
the stupid piano.

Come on, Will,
your wife went through
a lot of trouble.

- Come on. Play.
- She’s not...

Okay, everybody,
root beer floats.

Come and get it. Will?

No. I’m getting out of here.
Where the hell are my keys?

What is your problem?

Why are you totally
bailing out on this piano?

I’m not! What, do I have
to play it every second?

Yes, you do. Now, sit your ass
on the bench of the piano

that we bought together,
sip your root beer float,
and have some friggin’ fun!

- Uh, Grace?
- What?

Oh, there they are.

I was gonna say,
"Be careful."

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God!
- Should we go?

Look what you did!

You ruined it!
You ruined everything!

We should go.

Grace, I’m sorry,
but it’s just a piano.

No, it’s not.
It’s more than that,

but you just don’t
realize it, so just forget it!

Just go! Just move
to San Francisco...

and go scuba diving
for cute guys in underpants,

’cause obviously, there's
just nothing keeping you here!

[piano keys wildly play]

Have you been gargling
with bong water?

We’re drifting apart, Will.

People do. It happened
to Heidi and Charlie.

They don’t even talk anymore.

Oh, my God! Is that
what this is all about?

Grace, we are always going
to be in each other’s lives.

How do you know that?

Huh? Things change. I mean,
you’re gonna get a boyfriend.

I’m gonna get a boyfriend.

Hopefully not
the same boyfriend...

We’re not a couple.
We’re not married.

We don’t have kids.
What do we have
to keep us together?

Love.

- Love will keep us together.
- Don’t do that.

You know, there are a million
things that could pull us

in a million
different directions.

Think of me, babe,
whenever.

- And then we’ll end up
talking less and less.
- Some sweet-talking

guy comes along

- singing a song.
- Don’t do this.

We’re talking about
our friendship here.

Don’t mess around.
You’ve just gotta be strong.

You know what?
Doing this stupid song

is not gonna take away
my concerns, okay?

- Just stop.
- Stop!

’Cause I really love you.

- Stop.
- Stop.

I’ve been thinking
of you.

Look in my heart
and let love

keep us together.

Well, I must say,
this is the best

old-fashioned piano party
I’ve ever been to.

And, you know, this thing
is going back tomorrow.

First thing
in the morning.

Yeah. Still creepy.

There you are.

Penny for your thoughts.

- I’m dumping you.
- What?

- It’s just not working.
- Why?

I don’t know. Karen didn't
tell me why, but it’s not.

Good night, Jack.

Honey, what’s going on?
What’s happening? Are you okay?

Karen, Rocco just dumped me.

Oh, honey, that’s terrible.
My heart is cleft in twain.

You must be devastated. Here.

Why don’t you try writing
through your pain.

When last we left him, Giovanni
was staring at the stable boy

and feeling a familiar
tightening in his pants. Go.

I know you made him dump me.
What’d you do, pay him 50 bucks?

Did he say that?

Who are you gonna believe?

Me or some street trash
I paid 50 bucks to to dump ya?

I will never forgive you
for this.

And as for more writing,
well, you just forget it.

How about if I pay
you 100 bucks?

You know, that is so low.

It hurts that you would
try to bribe me.

It causes me a lot of pain.

I have no choice
but to write through that pain.