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1
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,751
[phone ringing]
2
00:00:06,795 --> 00:00:08,671
Ignore it.
We're screening.
3
00:00:08,715 --> 00:00:11,246
[Will and Grace]
♪ Here's the story
of a lovely lady ♪
4
00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:12,947
[Grace] That's me!
5
00:00:12,991 --> 00:00:14,737
[both] ♪ Who was living
with a very lovely girl ♪
6
00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:15,696
[Will] That's me!
7
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:16,831
[both] Leave a message!
8
00:00:16,874 --> 00:00:19,667
[dial tone]
9
00:00:19,711 --> 00:00:21,979
I hate us so hard right now.
10
00:00:24,118 --> 00:00:25,864
New rule.
11
00:00:25,907 --> 00:00:28,177
No more making
phone machine messages
after a pitcher of "margatinis."
12
00:00:30,008 --> 00:00:31,972
Mail's here, and he is hot!
13
00:00:34,023 --> 00:00:35,026
Oh, we also got some letters.
14
00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:37,601
[laughs]
15
00:00:37,645 --> 00:00:40,176
Oh, an advertisement
for teeth bleaching.
16
00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,008
Oh, this must be yours.
17
00:00:44,059 --> 00:00:46,285
Ooh, and for moi.
18
00:00:46,329 --> 00:00:48,466
Ooh, a postcard from Ma-ma.
19
00:00:48,510 --> 00:00:50,386
Well, she's still
on that cruise?
20
00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:54,226
Yep. Sailin' the Caribbean
with a boatload of desperate,
saggy singles.
21
00:00:56,277 --> 00:00:57,586
I gave her the toll-free number.
22
00:01:00,509 --> 00:01:02,212
Oh, my God.
23
00:01:02,255 --> 00:01:03,477
Listen to this.
24
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,047
I don't need my teeth bleached.
They're fine.
25
00:01:06,618 --> 00:01:08,538
Excuse me. Girl interrupted.
26
00:01:11,811 --> 00:01:13,992
"Jack, I know this may
come as a shock to you...
27
00:01:14,037 --> 00:01:16,393
but your father is a black boy.
28
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,887
Gotta run.
It's coconut shrimp night.
Kisses, Mommy."
29
00:01:22,763 --> 00:01:25,948
She said your
father's a black boy?
30
00:01:25,993 --> 00:01:29,571
And they have an entire night
dedicated to coconut shrimp?
31
00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:32,582
What is that toll-free number?
32
00:01:35,418 --> 00:01:37,075
Oh, my God...
33
00:01:39,781 --> 00:01:41,134
I'm black.
34
00:01:43,534 --> 00:01:45,890
I'm black,
and my mother says,
"black boy."
35
00:01:47,155 --> 00:01:49,860
I'm black,
and my mother's a racist.
36
00:01:49,905 --> 00:01:51,431
Will.
37
00:01:51,476 --> 00:01:53,613
Actually, Grace,
I totally see it.
38
00:01:54,966 --> 00:01:56,101
What?
39
00:01:56,843 --> 00:01:59,548
Jack's black.
40
00:01:59,592 --> 00:02:02,471
I don't know why I have never
noticed this before.
41
00:02:02,515 --> 00:02:05,002
I salute you, my proud,
black brother.
42
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:10,980
Thank you, Will.
43
00:02:11,023 --> 00:02:13,468
It's nice to have your support.
44
00:02:13,511 --> 00:02:16,478
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to go find out what
it means to be black like me.
45
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[theme music playing]
46
00:02:31,444 --> 00:02:33,540
[Grace] Oh, man.
47
00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:36,506
They're raising the rent
on my storage space again?
Don't start.
48
00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:39,037
I don't get it.
Throwing away good money
49
00:02:39,081 --> 00:02:40,739
to store a car
you never even use.
50
00:02:40,782 --> 00:02:42,834
It's my Uncle Jerry's car.
51
00:02:42,877 --> 00:02:46,368
Uncle Jerry is dead.
For four years now,
Uncle Jerry has been dead.
52
00:02:46,411 --> 00:02:48,855
And that car is the only thing
I have to remember him by.
53
00:02:48,899 --> 00:02:51,779
-It has sentimental value.
-It's a Chevy Citation.
54
00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:56,840
With no A/C and old man stink.
55
00:02:56,884 --> 00:02:58,847
It's family.
56
00:02:58,891 --> 00:03:02,207
You wouldn't understand that,
because you're tiny-hearted.
57
00:03:02,251 --> 00:03:03,648
Did you just call me
Tonya Harding?
58
00:03:05,611 --> 00:03:07,487
Don't flatter yourself.
59
00:03:07,531 --> 00:03:10,760
You've got a weird
thing about family.
Everyone thinks so.
60
00:03:10,803 --> 00:03:13,334
Lose the car. You never use it.
61
00:03:13,378 --> 00:03:15,734
What if we did use it?
Huh? We could...
62
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:19,793
zip off to the Hamptons
whenever we wanted to.
Wouldn't that be fun?
63
00:03:19,836 --> 00:03:21,101
Okay, here we go.
64
00:03:21,145 --> 00:03:22,934
[ignition sputters]
65
00:03:22,978 --> 00:03:24,505
That's weird.
66
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,425
Will, what do you think's wrong?
67
00:03:26,468 --> 00:03:29,043
She just asked a fairy
an engine question.
68
00:03:31,137 --> 00:03:33,319
Oh, my God. We're all
gonna die in this car.
69
00:03:37,813 --> 00:03:40,257
Karen, you're not gonna die.
70
00:03:40,301 --> 00:03:42,090
It'd take a silver bullet
and a wooden stake to do that.
71
00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:48,198
Come on. Let's look.
72
00:03:48,242 --> 00:03:49,508
All right, but you pop the hood.
I just got a mani.
73
00:03:55,355 --> 00:03:57,318
You know, honey,
I'm happy for you.
74
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,980
And I'm happy for me,
I've always wanted
a black friend.
75
00:04:02,336 --> 00:04:04,649
I finally found my roots, Karen.
76
00:04:04,692 --> 00:04:10,190
It's like my whole life
I've been waiting to exhale.
77
00:04:10,234 --> 00:04:13,681
I wish they would hurry up.
I've got to get home
for a play date.
78
00:04:13,725 --> 00:04:16,998
That pasty,
pretentious eunuch,
Beverley Leslie
79
00:04:17,041 --> 00:04:18,263
is coming over to play pool.
80
00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:21,100
So, cancel.
81
00:04:21,143 --> 00:04:24,415
Honey, no!
He's my dearest friend. What?
82
00:04:24,459 --> 00:04:26,684
I thought I was
your dearest friend.
83
00:04:26,728 --> 00:04:28,954
He's my dearest white friend.
84
00:04:36,939 --> 00:04:39,513
Okay, I think that fixed it.
85
00:04:39,557 --> 00:04:41,128
[Jack]
What did you guys do?
86
00:04:41,172 --> 00:04:43,222
I opened the hood
and jiggled the bendy thing.
87
00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:45,404
I scratched my head
and readjusted myself.
88
00:04:47,629 --> 00:04:49,811
[ignition sputters, turns over]
89
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:50,902
Yes!
90
00:04:51,469 --> 00:04:53,389
Wow...
91
00:04:53,433 --> 00:04:56,575
you know, uncle Jerry used
to take me to ballet class
in this very car.
92
00:04:58,407 --> 00:05:02,378
Then, after, we'd go
to Friendly's for
a fribble and a...
93
00:05:02,422 --> 00:05:04,210
-fish-a-ma-jig, and--
-[Jack coughs]
94
00:05:04,255 --> 00:05:08,095
Grace, I think there's something
wrong with your car.
95
00:05:08,138 --> 00:05:10,800
What are you talking about?
It's purring like a kitten.
96
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:13,330
[Karen] Yeah. A kitten who
smokes ten packs a day.
97
00:05:15,294 --> 00:05:17,868
God, this is like
a Cheech and Chong movie.
98
00:05:24,937 --> 00:05:26,247
Dear...
99
00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:29,475
I can't seem to set
up this shot.
100
00:05:29,519 --> 00:05:32,443
My big new diamond ring keeps
throwing off my balance.
101
00:05:33,926 --> 00:05:36,326
Oh, good for you, Bev.
102
00:05:37,853 --> 00:05:40,559
Oh! Whoo!
103
00:05:40,602 --> 00:05:44,660
That must have cost your
wife a pretty penny.
104
00:05:44,704 --> 00:05:47,497
You wouldn't believe
the disgusting sexual
perversions
105
00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,242
I had to perform to get that.
106
00:05:50,595 --> 00:05:51,990
Oh, I think I would.
107
00:05:53,038 --> 00:05:54,609
Meet the twins. [laughs]
108
00:05:55,962 --> 00:05:58,231
Yes, ma'am!
109
00:05:59,453 --> 00:06:01,852
Oh!
110
00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:04,732
Lord, the things we do for love.
111
00:06:04,776 --> 00:06:06,783
-And money.
-[both laugh]
112
00:06:08,398 --> 00:06:11,496
-Here you go.
-Where the hell have you been?
113
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,678
Riding a llama in Neverland.
114
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:17,386
Where do you think I was?
I was cleaning.
115
00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:21,052
Mr. Beverley Leslie, here's
your B-52 with one ice cube.
116
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:23,365
Thank you, sweetie.
117
00:06:23,408 --> 00:06:27,466
I thought your drink was
a blackberry julep with
a baby aspirin chaser.
118
00:06:29,386 --> 00:06:31,001
I switched.
119
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,320
Wait a minute.
How do you know that?
120
00:06:35,364 --> 00:06:37,720
-Because--
-Come on, come on.
121
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:41,691
Because I'm good at my job.
Quit busting my hump, lady.
122
00:06:45,619 --> 00:06:46,622
What?
123
00:06:46,665 --> 00:06:48,455
Nothing, honey.
124
00:06:48,498 --> 00:06:50,592
I was just lookin'
at your balls.
125
00:06:54,171 --> 00:06:55,872
You're stripes, right?
126
00:07:03,596 --> 00:07:05,298
Here we go.
127
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,351
Here's all the stuff from inside
the car, and here's your...
128
00:07:09,574 --> 00:07:12,584
$350.
129
00:07:12,629 --> 00:07:15,159
Did you find a good
home for him?
130
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,999
Yeah, honey, I did.
I sold him to a family
with a farm.
131
00:07:21,661 --> 00:07:24,846
There's lots of room
for him to roam and...
132
00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:26,592
lots of other cars
for him to play with.
133
00:07:28,162 --> 00:07:29,907
Oh, poor Uncle Jerry.
134
00:07:30,998 --> 00:07:33,093
You work hard,
you live a good life,
135
00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:36,103
and this is all
it comes down to.
136
00:07:36,148 --> 00:07:38,416
You will not believe
the day I've had!
Something must be done.
137
00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:40,817
Look, it's Notorious F.A.G.
138
00:07:48,627 --> 00:07:51,769
I just stood in the
freezing cold for 40 minutes,
trying to get a cab.
139
00:07:51,812 --> 00:07:54,649
I finally had to walk
halfway across town.
140
00:07:54,693 --> 00:07:56,743
Why couldn't you get a cab?
141
00:07:56,787 --> 00:07:58,314
Why do you think?
142
00:07:59,318 --> 00:08:02,416
Because I'm black.
143
00:08:02,459 --> 00:08:05,775
Maybe you should go down
to Boy Bar and try and get
a little affirmative action.
144
00:08:07,259 --> 00:08:10,051
You guys better climb
out of your ivory tower
and smell the coffee...
145
00:08:10,096 --> 00:08:11,971
because it's here,
it's hot, and it's black!
146
00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:17,383
That was kind worth it.
147
00:08:19,128 --> 00:08:20,611
Oh, my gosh.
148
00:08:20,655 --> 00:08:22,139
Where...
149
00:08:22,182 --> 00:08:23,534
-Where did this come from?
-That was in the tape deck.
150
00:08:24,844 --> 00:08:26,851
It says, "For Grace."
151
00:08:26,895 --> 00:08:28,990
How could I have
never found this?
152
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:31,607
-[Uncle Jerry] Hello, Minnie.
-Oh, my God!
153
00:08:31,651 --> 00:08:35,447
That's what he called me,
Minnie. Hi, Uncle Jerry. Hi!
154
00:08:35,490 --> 00:08:37,672
Minnie, you know how much
you mean to me.
155
00:08:37,716 --> 00:08:40,858
You're my family,
and this Chevy Citation
represents...
156
00:08:40,902 --> 00:08:43,476
my deep,
deep affection for you...
157
00:08:43,519 --> 00:08:47,665
As long as you have this car,
I'll always be with you.
158
00:08:50,545 --> 00:08:54,254
And you sold
my Uncle Jerry for $350.
159
00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:57,352
How you must feel!
160
00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:01,541
Actually, I sold it for $400,
and kept $50 as a finder's fee.
161
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:02,806
[laughs]
162
00:09:04,116 --> 00:09:05,511
Not a time to laugh, though.
163
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:23,010
Well, well, well...
164
00:09:23,053 --> 00:09:25,583
El pollo's come home to roost.
165
00:09:28,158 --> 00:09:29,642
How's Beverley?
166
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:31,692
-Miss Karen, I was just--
-Don't insult me with your lies.
167
00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:34,877
I know where you were.
Scrubbing floors for
Beverley Leslie.
168
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:37,627
I can smell his generic
cleaning products all over you.
169
00:09:38,587 --> 00:09:40,333
It's not what you think.
170
00:09:40,376 --> 00:09:41,728
Oh, really?
171
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:45,525
Is that a new Members Only
jacket you're wearing?
172
00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:50,150
So, what if it is?
A lady likes nice things.
173
00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:55,648
Oh. I see.
174
00:09:57,611 --> 00:09:59,183
Tell me...
175
00:09:59,227 --> 00:10:00,492
Is he good to you?
176
00:10:01,539 --> 00:10:03,764
He lets me wear jeans to work.
177
00:10:03,808 --> 00:10:05,030
Disgusting!
178
00:10:05,073 --> 00:10:05,815
I don't wanna know
all the filthy details.
179
00:10:08,084 --> 00:10:10,441
-What does he feed you?
-Subway.
180
00:10:13,931 --> 00:10:15,327
The 12-inch.
181
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,219
Oh, how could you?
I was your world.
182
00:10:21,262 --> 00:10:24,578
Are you really gonna
throw all that away for
a casual 12-inch sub?
183
00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:26,105
[clatter]
184
00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:29,858
You steal from him, too?
185
00:10:32,738 --> 00:10:35,006
Oh, my God.
186
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,097
It's serious.
187
00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:44,083
This isn't a farm!
This is Queens.
188
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,359
I don't know what happened.
Last time...
189
00:10:48,403 --> 00:10:49,886
I swear, there were cows here.
190
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,900
Look, we'll give
back the $350--
191
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,039
$400, Mr. Finder's Fee.
192
00:10:56,082 --> 00:10:59,356
Right, and then that'll
be the end of it. Okay?
193
00:10:59,399 --> 00:11:00,228
Here she comes.
194
00:11:02,191 --> 00:11:05,639
You sold my Uncle Jerry
to a nun?
195
00:11:08,475 --> 00:11:09,479
I'm Sister Louise.
What can I do you for?
196
00:11:13,885 --> 00:11:16,591
Um, I'm Grace Adler.
197
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:20,300
I think it is so wonderful
that you're married to God.
Me, I'm still looking.
198
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:25,405
Anyway, um, ah,
199
00:11:25,449 --> 00:11:27,674
we want to give you
your money back.
200
00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:28,635
Great!
201
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,390
-So we can get our car back.
-Ohh.
202
00:11:35,005 --> 00:11:37,536
It's a family thing.
I'm sure you understand.
203
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:40,546
My family sent me
to a convent when I was three.
204
00:11:40,591 --> 00:11:42,685
Actually, they told me
I was going to the zoo.
205
00:11:42,728 --> 00:11:45,084
I was all excited. They got
me dressed up, gave me
a lollipop, I ended up here.
206
00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:49,536
All I wanted to do was
see the penguins.
207
00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:54,204
Ironic, isn't it?
208
00:11:58,437 --> 00:11:59,615
What's sex with a man like?
209
00:12:09,957 --> 00:12:11,571
-It's good, actually...
-I've loved it...
210
00:12:11,615 --> 00:12:13,665
-If you find the right guy...
-Ever since the first time...
211
00:12:15,717 --> 00:12:17,331
-It's nothing really...
-It's no big deal...
212
00:12:17,374 --> 00:12:20,167
-You just lie there.
-You're not really
missing anything.
213
00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:22,000
Maybe we should get
back to the car.
214
00:12:22,043 --> 00:12:23,658
Uh, I've got your money here
215
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:26,756
and I'm gonna throw in
an extra $50 for your trouble.
216
00:12:26,799 --> 00:12:29,068
No, thanks. No, I need the car
to deliver my cheesecakes.
217
00:12:29,112 --> 00:12:31,207
Little business I've got
going on the side.
218
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,515
Shh.
219
00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:36,225
Well, can't you get another car?
220
00:12:36,268 --> 00:12:39,061
I need this car.
It's my Uncle Jerry's car.
221
00:12:39,104 --> 00:12:41,330
I might have an Uncle Jerry,
who knows?
222
00:12:41,373 --> 00:12:44,777
I was sent to a convent
when I was three.
223
00:12:44,821 --> 00:12:47,656
I thought I was going
to the zoo. Have I told
you the story?
224
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,053
Yeah, you have.
225
00:12:49,097 --> 00:12:51,628
Well, then the answer
to the car question... No.
226
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,329
What do you mean, no?
227
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,685
I'm talking about
my Uncle Jerry here.
228
00:12:55,729 --> 00:12:56,646
Talk to the beads.
229
00:13:00,354 --> 00:13:02,274
What? I can't
believe that you're...
230
00:13:02,319 --> 00:13:04,369
Listen, listen. I'm really sorry
about the whole zoo thing
231
00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:06,638
but nobody messes
with my family.
232
00:13:06,682 --> 00:13:08,951
What do you need
with a car anyway?
Can't you fly?
233
00:13:14,405 --> 00:13:16,892
Well, let's see.
The Bible does...
234
00:13:16,936 --> 00:13:19,597
teach the value of charity
and helping your fellow man.
235
00:13:19,641 --> 00:13:21,692
-Yes. It does.
-But God's no fool.
236
00:13:21,736 --> 00:13:24,528
I want $3,000 in
traveler's checks.
237
00:13:24,572 --> 00:13:27,409
What? Are you kidding?
You paid $400.
238
00:13:27,452 --> 00:13:29,284
Look, you two work it out,
I gotta go.
239
00:13:29,329 --> 00:13:31,990
"What a Friend We
Have in Cheesecake"
doesn't run itself.
240
00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:35,742
-Will!
-What? No! No, I'm not...
241
00:13:35,786 --> 00:13:37,837
spending $3,000
on this piece of junk.
242
00:13:37,881 --> 00:13:40,107
-Just let it go!
-Okay, fine.
243
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,855
but I hope that you never
have to feel what
I'm feeling right now.
244
00:13:42,899 --> 00:13:44,819
-Me, too.
-And when you do,
I hope it hurts.
245
00:13:45,865 --> 00:13:47,132
Let me just say goodbye.
246
00:13:49,793 --> 00:13:51,670
Bye, Uncle Jerry.
247
00:13:51,713 --> 00:13:53,720
I'm sorry.
248
00:13:53,764 --> 00:13:54,680
I'll never forget you.
249
00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:57,211
[kisses car]
250
00:13:59,829 --> 00:14:01,400
Ew, bird poop.
251
00:14:07,072 --> 00:14:10,345
You came between one of the most
sacred relationships there is...
252
00:14:10,564 --> 00:14:12,265
a woman and her housekeeper.
253
00:14:13,574 --> 00:14:15,450
Oh, what can I say?
254
00:14:15,494 --> 00:14:18,374
She just prefers being
around masculine energy.
255
00:14:21,821 --> 00:14:23,872
Let's leave your
wife out of this.
256
00:14:26,185 --> 00:14:27,799
I want you to stay
away from Rosario!
257
00:14:27,842 --> 00:14:31,203
What Rosario does
on her own time
is Rosario's business!
258
00:14:32,556 --> 00:14:35,435
You do not own her, my dear.
She's a person!
259
00:14:35,479 --> 00:14:37,268
I know damn well what she is.
260
00:14:37,312 --> 00:14:40,148
You don't have to tell me
my own maid is a person.
261
00:14:40,191 --> 00:14:42,330
Of course she's a person!
262
00:14:42,373 --> 00:14:44,380
-I'll play you for her.
-All right, you're on.
263
00:14:50,576 --> 00:14:52,191
Damn it!
264
00:14:52,235 --> 00:14:55,114
I'm really going to enjoy
having Rosario around the villa.
265
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,740
She even alphabetized
my imposter fragrances.
266
00:15:01,878 --> 00:15:04,452
-Special lady.
-Yeah.
267
00:15:04,496 --> 00:15:05,892
-She sure is special.
-Eight ball.
268
00:15:05,936 --> 00:15:07,638
Side pocket.
269
00:15:12,219 --> 00:15:13,659
I would have made that shot!
270
00:15:13,703 --> 00:15:16,801
Yeah? Tell it to the Marines
if you already haven't. Ha!
271
00:15:16,844 --> 00:15:17,718
I'm up!
272
00:15:19,812 --> 00:15:21,033
Eight ball.
273
00:15:21,077 --> 00:15:21,950
Side pocket.
274
00:15:24,394 --> 00:15:25,659
Achoo!
275
00:15:25,702 --> 00:15:27,448
Oh! Oh!
276
00:15:27,492 --> 00:15:30,808
Oops. You scratched,
I won. Rosario's mine.
277
00:15:30,852 --> 00:15:33,775
The hell she is!
Now back off, you Keebler elf.
278
00:15:33,818 --> 00:15:35,041
Don't you...
279
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:37,833
take that tone with me, Mister!
280
00:15:37,877 --> 00:15:41,498
Hey, I'm not afraid to hit you,
you little cup-size Capote.
281
00:15:43,287 --> 00:15:45,906
-Well, bring it on,
big cheater!
-Maid stealer!
282
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,004
[martial arts cries]
283
00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:50,924
-Ah!
-[laughs]
284
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:54,938
[screams]
Get off of me, Tattoo!
285
00:15:54,981 --> 00:15:56,727
-Agh!
-Get off of me!
286
00:15:56,771 --> 00:15:57,687
-[laughs]
-You bitch!
287
00:15:59,127 --> 00:16:01,134
Ah! You bitch!
288
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:02,312
Ow!
289
00:16:02,355 --> 00:16:04,974
I won fair and square!
Rosario's mine!
290
00:16:05,017 --> 00:16:06,981
Stop it! Stop it.
291
00:16:07,025 --> 00:16:09,206
You won me in a game of pool?
292
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,606
-It was her idea--
-What am I, your prize bull?
293
00:16:11,651 --> 00:16:14,879
It was her idea, Rosario.
I called you a person.
294
00:16:14,923 --> 00:16:16,669
Shut up, Lucky Charms!
295
00:16:18,763 --> 00:16:21,599
-Don't you listen to him.
-I'm not listening to anyone.
296
00:16:21,642 --> 00:16:23,694
I don't want to see either
one of you again.
297
00:16:30,152 --> 00:16:31,984
-Hey.
-Hey.
298
00:16:32,027 --> 00:16:34,515
-What ya doing?
-Cleaning house.
299
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:38,791
You know, this whole car thing
made me realize I hold onto
stuff way longer that I need to.
300
00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:42,456
What? Your Nancy Drew,
Girl Detective membership card?
301
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,115
Aren't you going to
need that in case...
302
00:16:44,158 --> 00:16:46,777
something mysterious
happens out at Old Man
Winsley's place?
303
00:16:47,693 --> 00:16:49,350
Ah, the creepy caretaker did it.
304
00:16:49,394 --> 00:16:50,311
Oh.
305
00:16:51,707 --> 00:16:53,496
Anyway, I don't need it.
306
00:16:53,539 --> 00:16:57,642
Just like I don't need
this "Remember Me Always"
bracelet I got from...
307
00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:58,645
what's-her-name.
308
00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:02,703
Or this piece of
the Berlin Wall
309
00:17:02,747 --> 00:17:05,146
I got as a gift with purchase
at the Lancôme counter
at Bloomingdale's.
310
00:17:08,725 --> 00:17:11,517
How about these clown shoes?
311
00:17:11,561 --> 00:17:13,306
Those are my ballet slippers
from fourth grade.
312
00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:14,223
Oh.
313
00:17:15,663 --> 00:17:18,455
I went from a four
to an eight in a month.
314
00:17:18,499 --> 00:17:22,252
Anyway, you were right,
I just have to let all
this stuff go.
315
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,921
-Want to put those in there?
-What's that?
316
00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:29,320
The keys to your
Uncle Jerry's car.
317
00:17:29,364 --> 00:17:32,069
Oh, my God! I can't... Wait...
318
00:17:32,113 --> 00:17:34,557
-What made you
change your mind?
-I don't know.
319
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,738
I guess I just
thought about you...
320
00:17:36,782 --> 00:17:38,484
kissing that bird poop and...
321
00:17:40,797 --> 00:17:42,192
It just made me feel a little...
322
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,203
sick at first.
323
00:17:45,247 --> 00:17:46,338
Then sad.
324
00:17:46,381 --> 00:17:47,996
and then sick again
when I realized
325
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,789
that we'd shared a spoon at
the yogurt shop later that day.
326
00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:55,545
Wow. I don't know what
to say. I just...
327
00:17:55,588 --> 00:17:58,992
Wait a minute. You paid...
You paid $3,000 for
that junky car?
328
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,872
Well, not exactly, but with
a little creative thinking
329
00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:03,617
I was able to come up
with a solution
330
00:18:03,661 --> 00:18:05,407
that's going to
work for everybody.
331
00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:06,978
Come on. Let's move it!
332
00:18:07,021 --> 00:18:08,898
Got a trunk full of
cheesecakes to deliver,
333
00:18:08,941 --> 00:18:10,686
and they're probably
starting to sweat.
334
00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:13,042
Hurry up! You promised to
get me to the zoo by 4:00.
335
00:18:13,087 --> 00:18:15,879
-That's right.
-♪ We're going to the zoo
336
00:18:15,923 --> 00:18:17,973
♪ We're going to the... ♪
Who's going to the zoo?
337
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:19,762
♪ I'm going to the zoo
338
00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:21,071
♪ I'm going...
339
00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:22,730
It's a big day for me.
I'm not wearing a bra.
340
00:18:33,027 --> 00:18:34,598
Hey, Kare.
341
00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:36,038
Hey, poodle.
342
00:18:37,086 --> 00:18:38,743
Who's your daddy?
343
00:18:40,358 --> 00:18:41,841
You are.
344
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,729
Well, I'm devastated.
345
00:18:46,772 --> 00:18:48,910
I talked to mother last night,
and it turns out...
346
00:18:50,743 --> 00:18:51,834
I'm not black.
347
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,288
Honey, I won't believe it.
I mean, look at you.
348
00:18:57,332 --> 00:18:58,815
Shh.
349
00:18:58,859 --> 00:19:00,605
I know. It's true.
350
00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:02,132
I'm not black.
351
00:19:02,176 --> 00:19:04,358
I'm a Black.
352
00:19:04,401 --> 00:19:07,411
She got knocked up by one of the
Black boys, an Irish-Catholic
family from her hometown.
353
00:19:09,724 --> 00:19:12,866
Well,
at least you're one step closer
to finding your real dad.
354
00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:16,051
Don't try to console me.
355
00:19:16,095 --> 00:19:17,622
Once you've been black...
356
00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:19,280
you can never go back.
357
00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:23,164
Well, hmm.
358
00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:25,259
If it makes you
feel any better...
359
00:19:25,302 --> 00:19:27,920
-I'm devastated, too.
-Hmm, it does.
360
00:19:27,964 --> 00:19:30,233
[chuckles]
361
00:19:30,277 --> 00:19:32,065
I mean-- Oh, why?
362
00:19:32,895 --> 00:19:34,727
My Rosie is gone.
363
00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:37,215
And she's never coming back!
364
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:39,091
Oh, no! You loved her.
365
00:19:40,269 --> 00:19:41,665
Didn't you?
366
00:19:41,708 --> 00:19:44,152
Oh, I don't know. It's more...
367
00:19:44,196 --> 00:19:46,116
I've grown accustomed
to her face.
368
00:19:48,385 --> 00:19:51,047
She almost makes the day begin.
369
00:19:52,879 --> 00:19:56,108
I've grown accustomed
to the tune she...
370
00:19:56,937 --> 00:19:58,508
whistles night and noon.
371
00:20:00,209 --> 00:20:02,566
Her smiles... her frowns.
372
00:20:03,613 --> 00:20:05,969
Her ups, her downs.
373
00:20:07,628 --> 00:20:09,067
[sniffing]
374
00:20:09,111 --> 00:20:10,726
Is cook making noodle pudding?
375
00:20:13,475 --> 00:20:14,478
[sighs]
376
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,623
[Rosario] Miss Karen...
377
00:20:31,234 --> 00:20:32,107
Rosie.
378
00:20:33,328 --> 00:20:36,209
-Are you back?
-I'm back.
379
00:20:36,951 --> 00:20:39,350
Where the hell are my slippers?
380
00:20:39,394 --> 00:20:42,056
Have you looked up your ass,
you drunken fool?
28209
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