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1
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,707
-[TV on]
-I don't understand this.
2
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:09,194
I mean, what's going
on right now?
3
00:00:09,237 --> 00:00:10,983
What exactly
are we watching?
4
00:00:11,027 --> 00:00:13,644
This would be called
a basketball game.
5
00:00:15,302 --> 00:00:16,654
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
6
00:00:18,704 --> 00:00:21,540
And where is this
all taking place?
7
00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,772
That's Madison Square Garden.
8
00:00:26,906 --> 00:00:28,783
That's a sports auditorium now?
9
00:00:30,528 --> 00:00:33,276
It's the world's most
famous sports arena.
10
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,723
But I can see how that fact may
have eluded you given that your
entire knowledge of sports
11
00:00:36,766 --> 00:00:39,384
consists of giggling every time
you hear the word "balls."
12
00:00:39,427 --> 00:00:41,783
[giggling]
13
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:49,549
-Gets me every time.
-I know.
14
00:00:49,593 --> 00:00:52,865
Oh, sorry I'm late.
There was this homeless
guy who wanted money,
15
00:00:52,908 --> 00:00:55,744
but I thought he's just gonna
spend it on booze, so
16
00:00:55,788 --> 00:00:57,314
I took him to the Korean
market and told him,
17
00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:01,459
"Okay, you can get up to,
like two pounds of salad."
18
00:01:01,502 --> 00:01:04,513
But then I thought,
"Who am I to tell him
he shouldn't have booze?" So,
19
00:01:04,557 --> 00:01:07,000
I took him to the
liquor store and got him
two pounds of malt liquor.
20
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,063
-Was that true?
-Saks had a shoe sale.
21
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,463
See, Grace, not only do
your lies have too much detail,
22
00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:17,601
they're also socially
irresponsible.
23
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,434
Look. Buckles.
24
00:01:21,266 --> 00:01:24,188
Grace, check it out.
This is amazing.
25
00:01:24,232 --> 00:01:25,061
Hmm?
26
00:01:25,104 --> 00:01:26,675
Tall, muscular lovelies
27
00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:29,424
in nothing but short-shorts
and matching tank tops.
28
00:01:30,863 --> 00:01:32,914
Why would straight guys
watch this?
29
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,317
If I knew why straight
guy did anything,
30
00:01:36,361 --> 00:01:38,411
do you think
I'd be hanging out
with you two homos?
31
00:01:41,639 --> 00:01:44,519
-Have you seen Matt yet?
-Yeah, he's right there.
Right on the sidelines.
32
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,308
About four clicks
west of Spike Lee.
33
00:01:46,352 --> 00:01:48,925
Just right beside that
little girl and her grandpa.
34
00:01:48,969 --> 00:01:51,412
Uh, that s Catherine Zeta-Jones
and Michael Douglas.
35
00:01:52,502 --> 00:01:53,550
Oh.
36
00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:58,610
Matt looks good on TV.
37
00:01:58,654 --> 00:02:00,574
Doesn't he?
That's my man.
38
00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:03,410
My squeeze.
39
00:02:03,453 --> 00:02:04,631
My steady fella.
40
00:02:08,732 --> 00:02:11,393
No wonder I was
alone for so long.
41
00:02:12,789 --> 00:02:14,622
Ring. Hello? What's that?
42
00:02:14,665 --> 00:02:16,629
I'm bored?
Yeah, thanks for calling.
Bye-bye.
43
00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:21,733
[theme music playing]
44
00:02:38,136 --> 00:02:39,357
-Hey.
-Hey.
45
00:02:39,402 --> 00:02:41,103
Great game tonight, yeah.
46
00:02:41,147 --> 00:02:43,458
You were-- You were really
something out there.
47
00:02:43,502 --> 00:02:45,596
You gave 110%.
48
00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:47,298
You know, and I mean--
Wow!
49
00:02:47,342 --> 00:02:50,745
-You were just jumping so high.
-I'm the towel boy.
50
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,409
Well, you-- you look dry.
51
00:02:57,289 --> 00:03:01,171
And in spite of tonight's loss,
there's still a good chance this
team will make the playoffs,
52
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:05,578
providing all the other teams
in the league get swallowed
by a giant fish.
53
00:03:05,622 --> 00:03:08,894
It's Matt Moshea
reporting live from
the visitors' locker room.
54
00:03:10,027 --> 00:03:11,598
Great, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
55
00:03:11,642 --> 00:03:14,260
-Hey, TV person.
-Hey, you.
56
00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:16,179
I thought I'd come down to
surprise you. Congratulations.
57
00:03:16,222 --> 00:03:18,666
You did it.
And you looked great.
58
00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:20,323
Oh, I don't care about that.
59
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,720
How great?
60
00:03:21,764 --> 00:03:22,897
Really great.
61
00:03:22,942 --> 00:03:25,428
So what do you think
of my office?
62
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:29,005
What's not to like?
You're surrounded by naked men
with an average shoe size of 17.
63
00:03:29,965 --> 00:03:31,711
It's all good.
64
00:03:33,629 --> 00:03:36,378
-How about a little--
a little dinner?
-Mmm, I'd love that.
65
00:03:36,422 --> 00:03:39,432
-Hey, Matt!
-Harry, hey!
What are you doing here?
66
00:03:39,475 --> 00:03:41,919
Checking out the naked guys
in the locker room.
67
00:03:41,962 --> 00:03:43,489
[both laugh]
68
00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:45,540
I saw the feed. I wanted to
let you know you did okay.
69
00:03:45,583 --> 00:03:48,550
Uh, oh, about the
fish joke at the end--
70
00:03:48,593 --> 00:03:50,993
-Ha ha! Yeah?
-Lose it.
71
00:03:51,037 --> 00:03:54,396
-People want to laugh,
let 'em watch the weather.
-Okay, no fish humor.
72
00:03:55,617 --> 00:03:57,624
-I'm Will.
-Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
73
00:03:57,668 --> 00:04:01,289
-This is Harry Zalen,
station manager-- my boss.
-Oh. Hi.
74
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:05,347
-Who are you?
-I'm, uh, Matt's..
75
00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,834
Brother. Will's my brother.
76
00:04:13,679 --> 00:04:16,427
Karen, I've had an awakening.
77
00:04:16,472 --> 00:04:19,307
There are certain things
in this world that desperately
need changing,
78
00:04:19,351 --> 00:04:22,448
and I am committing every fiber
of my being to changing them.
79
00:04:22,492 --> 00:04:25,502
As we speak, there is a
gun-control rally going on
in Times Square,
80
00:04:25,545 --> 00:04:28,774
and I say let's join our
brothers and sisters
in fighting the good fight.
81
00:04:28,817 --> 00:04:30,475
-Nah.
-All right. Let's go to lunch.
82
00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:31,916
[laughs]
83
00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:34,489
Can't, honey. I'm busy.
84
00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:36,366
What you doing?
85
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,983
Oh, just doing
a little last-minute shopping
for the step-kiddies.
86
00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:40,205
Oh.
87
00:04:40,248 --> 00:04:42,953
Honey... Do you think
Mason will like this?
88
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:46,181
I don't know.
Does he need steak knives?
89
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:50,544
Oh, honey,
90
00:04:50,588 --> 00:04:52,463
if you'd ever seen him work
his way through a porterhouse,
91
00:04:52,507 --> 00:04:54,427
you wouldn't be
asking that question.
92
00:04:56,347 --> 00:04:59,008
So what's the gift for, anyway?
93
00:04:59,051 --> 00:05:00,752
What do you mean, Jack?
94
00:05:00,796 --> 00:05:03,109
Christmas? Hello!
95
00:05:05,595 --> 00:05:09,958
♪ Deck the halls with boughs
of money, fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la... ♪
96
00:05:10,002 --> 00:05:12,576
Karen, Christmas was months ago.
97
00:05:12,619 --> 00:05:16,328
Don't you remember?
That was the day you let
Rosario call her kids.
98
00:05:20,297 --> 00:05:23,395
God, I mean,
when's the last time
you checked your calendar?
99
00:05:23,439 --> 00:05:27,627
Well, I don't need a calendar.
When my pills run out,
I just go back to Pharmacist.
100
00:05:31,684 --> 00:05:33,212
But did I miss anything good?
101
00:05:33,255 --> 00:05:36,571
No, not too much.
New Year's...
102
00:05:36,614 --> 00:05:39,057
Martin Luther King Day...
103
00:05:39,101 --> 00:05:41,064
"Pick Stan up from
the hospital."
104
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,470
Oh, that's where he is.
105
00:05:50,619 --> 00:05:53,672
And that brings
us back to today.
106
00:05:53,716 --> 00:05:55,156
Oh! Kare!
107
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,944
The Black-and-White
Ball's this weekend.
108
00:05:56,988 --> 00:05:58,820
"Ball's." [laughs]
109
00:06:01,002 --> 00:06:04,055
Is it time for
that again already?
110
00:06:04,099 --> 00:06:06,368
Oh, I hate these
formal affairs, honey.
111
00:06:06,412 --> 00:06:09,988
Everybody's gonna be there.
Mr. and Mrs. Marlo Thomas,
112
00:06:10,032 --> 00:06:13,872
Mr. and Mrs. Connie Chung,
Mr. and Mrs. Hilary Clinton.
113
00:06:16,882 --> 00:06:19,238
Looks like you're gonna have
to pull out the big guns.
114
00:06:19,282 --> 00:06:20,721
Yeah.
115
00:06:20,764 --> 00:06:21,725
Bang! Bang!
116
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,366
You're supposed to let me blow.
117
00:06:33,241 --> 00:06:34,987
Okay, honey. Get ready.
118
00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:36,383
Bang! Bang!
119
00:06:42,185 --> 00:06:45,282
Ooh, listen. How about you
come with me tomorrow morning
120
00:06:45,327 --> 00:06:48,643
to the safe deposit box
and help me pick out my jewels,
okay?
121
00:06:48,686 --> 00:06:51,696
I'll bring the truffles and
the chardonnay, and you bring
that tight little butt of yours!
122
00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,223
I love it!
123
00:06:55,622 --> 00:06:59,549
Okay, Karen, we've got a crazy
work day ahead. I've got
back-to-back clients coming in,
124
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:03,082
an installation at 2:00,
and there's a ton of Xeroxing
and faxing that has to happen.
125
00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:06,005
So in order to get any
of that done I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
126
00:07:08,405 --> 00:07:10,150
You're the boss.
127
00:07:11,939 --> 00:07:14,906
I am so upset right now,
I-- I can't even speak!
128
00:07:14,949 --> 00:07:18,091
Yeah, well, if I had those
crazy little chicken arms,
I'd be-- Oooh!
129
00:07:18,134 --> 00:07:19,574
Look out, he's gonna blow!
130
00:07:21,798 --> 00:07:23,980
I'm sorry.
I can't have lunch today.
131
00:07:24,024 --> 00:07:25,943
You know, I'm walking over here,
and with every step,
132
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,822
I'm getting madder and madder.
I mean, he called me
his brother!
133
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,786
I know. I told you last night.
Break up with him.
134
00:07:30,829 --> 00:07:32,574
And lying like that,
right in front of me!
135
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,061
And see, I swear,
it's-- it's the second
most humiliating thing
136
00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:36,588
that's ever happened
to me in a locker room.
137
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,914
-You should break up with him.
-And what does he expect me to
do, go back in the closet?
138
00:07:42,957 --> 00:07:46,273
Hey, it's a little late.
I just bought my first
pair of man-clogs, okay?
139
00:07:48,106 --> 00:07:50,200
-You should break up with him.
-I--I don't know what to do!
140
00:07:50,243 --> 00:07:51,945
-Break up with him.
-Actually, you know what? I do.
141
00:07:51,988 --> 00:07:53,690
I-I'm breaking up with him.
How about that?
142
00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:58,358
You got man-clogs?
143
00:08:04,248 --> 00:08:06,298
So tell me what
happened with Matt.
144
00:08:06,342 --> 00:08:09,875
Uh, you won't believe it.
He asked me to try
and understand.
145
00:08:09,919 --> 00:08:13,191
Ugh! I hate it when men
ask you to understand.
146
00:08:13,234 --> 00:08:15,721
Why don't they just be honest
and tell you to shut up?
147
00:08:18,077 --> 00:08:21,742
Then he went on and on about
how he works in sports,
and he's on the air now,
148
00:08:21,786 --> 00:08:24,316
so he can't be as
open as he'd like to be.
149
00:08:24,359 --> 00:08:25,713
What a load!
150
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:28,766
All right,
what did we say to him?
151
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:30,773
I just said,
"Hey, I'm an out
and proud gay man.
152
00:08:30,817 --> 00:08:33,390
I'm not about to go back
in the closet for the sake
of a relationship."
153
00:08:33,434 --> 00:08:36,270
Oh, that is so good!
154
00:08:36,313 --> 00:08:39,848
That is so right!
We're here. We're queer,
and he better get used to it!
155
00:08:42,858 --> 00:08:46,872
As far as I'm concerned it's
over, and there's nothing he
could say to change my mind.
156
00:08:46,915 --> 00:08:48,747
Oh, I hope he cried.
157
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,452
What did he say?
158
00:08:51,496 --> 00:08:54,244
He said he likes me.
159
00:08:54,287 --> 00:08:55,945
Oh, that pig!
160
00:09:00,178 --> 00:09:02,795
What kind of idiot does
he take us for?
161
00:09:02,839 --> 00:09:05,195
-[knock on door]
-It's open!
162
00:09:05,238 --> 00:09:06,853
Hey, Will, sorry I'm early.
163
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:08,423
Hey, Grace.
I got a cab downstairs.
We should get going.
164
00:09:10,735 --> 00:09:12,873
Did I mention that
he said he likes me?
165
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:27,749
Honey, put my necklaces away.
You have your own
jewels to play with.
166
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,978
[crying] Thank you so much.
167
00:09:31,022 --> 00:09:32,505
And I promise...
168
00:09:34,468 --> 00:09:38,220
As this year's Miss Pregnant
Teen America...
169
00:09:38,263 --> 00:09:40,619
to represent all
pregnant teens...
170
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,932
Whether they be man,
woman, black or white.
171
00:09:42,976 --> 00:09:44,546
Thank you so much! Oh my God!
172
00:09:46,073 --> 00:09:49,084
Knock it off, Miss Fire Island.
I'm reminiscing.
173
00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:55,627
Look at all of these.
Stan has been so good
to me, honey.
174
00:09:55,670 --> 00:10:00,600
Oh, and all of the sweet
memories they bring back. Hmm.
175
00:10:00,644 --> 00:10:02,826
On my knees in Belize.
176
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:09,369
Oh!
177
00:10:09,414 --> 00:10:10,809
On my back in Iraq.
178
00:10:14,474 --> 00:10:17,354
Oh! Oh! And then there
was that time in Nantucket!
179
00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:18,749
[laughing]
180
00:10:18,793 --> 00:10:20,233
That was a good one.
181
00:10:25,556 --> 00:10:27,475
Good times.
182
00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:29,045
Well, good jewels, anyway.
183
00:10:29,089 --> 00:10:30,311
[laughs]
184
00:10:30,354 --> 00:10:32,535
Oh, look, Kare. Stan's will.
Do you have a will?
185
00:10:32,579 --> 00:10:35,110
Honey, why do I need a will?
I'm gonna live forever.
186
00:10:35,154 --> 00:10:37,160
That is the deal,
isn't it, Red?
187
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,513
[laughs] Okay.
188
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:45,624
Wait a minute.
I haven't seen that version.
189
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:47,718
You gonna open it?
190
00:10:47,761 --> 00:10:50,859
That is a private
legal document.
191
00:10:50,903 --> 00:10:54,000
That would be a betrayal
of everything that's
sacred in our marriage.
192
00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:57,927
-Can I open it?
-That'll work.
193
00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:01,286
-There.
-Give me that.
Come on, Come on.
194
00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:03,773
Let's just see where
everything's going.
195
00:11:03,816 --> 00:11:05,474
Ooh.
196
00:11:05,518 --> 00:11:07,393
Stan's mother
isn't getting anything.
197
00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:08,615
She's gonna hate that.
198
00:11:08,658 --> 00:11:10,055
[both laugh]
199
00:11:11,407 --> 00:11:13,937
"And a third of my money
goes to charity."
200
00:11:16,511 --> 00:11:18,212
Charities?
201
00:11:18,257 --> 00:11:20,744
"Girl's Club of Greater
New York..."
202
00:11:20,787 --> 00:11:24,146
Women's shelters?
Sally Struthers?
203
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,469
Public television!
What is this crap!
204
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,617
Looks like Stan's got
a big heart to go with
his enlarged prostate.
205
00:11:36,231 --> 00:11:39,067
-Oh, balls!
-[giggling]
206
00:11:41,858 --> 00:11:46,221
Stan pays deaf immigrants
12 cents an hour to
make tube socks!
207
00:11:46,265 --> 00:11:48,752
He is a misanthropic
money whore.
That's why I love him.
208
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,715
No!
209
00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:53,332
No, no, no, no, no.
This is not his handiwork.
210
00:11:53,376 --> 00:11:57,521
This is the work of
our limp-wristed lawyer,
Will Truman!
211
00:11:57,564 --> 00:11:59,615
[both exclaim]
212
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:09,780
Morning. Any of that
Chinese food left?
213
00:12:09,824 --> 00:12:13,576
I only had two bites
when I found a hair
in the mu shu.
214
00:12:13,619 --> 00:12:16,542
So I called the restaurant
and they said, "Well, how do
we know it's not your hair?"
215
00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:18,898
And I said, "Well,
I know how my hair tastes."
216
00:12:22,301 --> 00:12:23,959
It made me sound crazy,
so I hung up.
217
00:12:25,398 --> 00:12:28,583
Anyway, I was so disgusted,
I threw it all out.
218
00:12:28,627 --> 00:12:30,983
-You ate all of it, didn't you?
-Yes, I did.
219
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:36,000
And I over-soyed,
and now I'm swollen.
220
00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:41,322
You gonna ask me
about last night?
221
00:12:41,366 --> 00:12:42,588
Uh-uh.
222
00:12:43,373 --> 00:12:45,773
Okay. Fine. Good.
223
00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:49,393
You know, 'cause I certainly
don't owe you any explanation
about my relationship with Matt.
224
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,833
Nope, you don't.
225
00:12:50,877 --> 00:12:53,363
Oh, would you
stop hounding me?
226
00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:55,675
Look, he thinks I'm handsome.
227
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,901
He thinks I'm smart,
he thinks I'm funny.
228
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:01,434
He's basically everything
I'm looking for in a man.
229
00:13:01,477 --> 00:13:05,099
Not to mention the fact that
we wear the same size, so I'm
basically doubling my wardrobe.
230
00:13:08,197 --> 00:13:11,905
I just don't understand how
you could be in a relationship
where you can't be you.
231
00:13:11,949 --> 00:13:14,915
Yeah, well, being me
hasn't gotten me a whole
lot of action lately.
232
00:13:14,959 --> 00:13:18,144
Or maybe you haven't
been following my story line
on "No Sex in the City."
233
00:13:21,023 --> 00:13:23,640
What do you want from me?
234
00:13:23,684 --> 00:13:26,084
All I'm asking
for is a little support.
235
00:13:26,127 --> 00:13:30,315
Will, what you are doing is
wildly hypocritical and against
everything you believe in.
236
00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:31,973
You deserve so much better.
237
00:13:33,631 --> 00:13:37,950
But, hey... if you want
my support, you've got it.
238
00:13:37,994 --> 00:13:39,957
-I want your support.
-You don't got it.
239
00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:45,017
-Mornin, kittles!
-Jack, back me up on this.
240
00:13:45,062 --> 00:13:47,897
You know Will's boyfriend?
Ever since he got
this on-air job,
241
00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:49,991
he's gone back in the closet,
and Will wants to go
on dating him.
242
00:13:50,035 --> 00:13:52,303
-[gasps]
-Thank you!
243
00:13:52,347 --> 00:13:55,838
I know the perfect
place to take him.
244
00:13:55,881 --> 00:13:58,848
-What?
-Yeah, there's this fish
restaurant in Queens.
245
00:13:58,891 --> 00:14:01,814
It's where all the gay guys
take their closet boyfriends.
246
00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:03,689
You know, it's like a casual,
sawdust-on-the-floor,
247
00:14:03,734 --> 00:14:05,828
hand-down-my-pants
kind of place.
248
00:14:08,489 --> 00:14:11,368
Jack, he introduced
Will as his brother.
249
00:14:11,412 --> 00:14:14,640
Grace, just have
dinner with us. Okay?
250
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:18,174
I mean, Matt's a good guy,
and I know you'd like him if
you just got to know him.
251
00:14:18,218 --> 00:14:21,141
-Absolutely not.
-They make those killer
deep-fried onion blossoms.
252
00:14:21,185 --> 00:14:22,450
One dinner.
253
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,954
-What did you order?
-I just told the chef
to surprise me.
254
00:14:29,997 --> 00:14:33,094
Think that was a mistake
in a place that's located
next to a pet hospital?
255
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:34,795
[laughs]
256
00:14:36,236 --> 00:14:38,373
Grace, hi. You gonna-- Grace?
257
00:14:39,464 --> 00:14:40,598
Hang on.
258
00:14:42,518 --> 00:14:44,176
What-- What are you doing?
You gonna join us?
259
00:14:44,219 --> 00:14:46,357
No.
260
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,840
I thought about it,
and I cannot,
261
00:14:47,884 --> 00:14:49,716
in good conscience,
have dinner with you two.
262
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,552
I-I'm not gonna be
a party to your lie.
263
00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:55,824
So, what,
you're just here to judge me?
264
00:14:55,867 --> 00:14:59,270
Will, believe it or not,
I have better things to
do with my life.
265
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,277
I'm here for the onion blossom.
266
00:15:04,549 --> 00:15:07,429
So don't worry.
As soon as they call number 39,
I'm out of here.
267
00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:09,262
-Number 38!
-Yes! I'm starving.
268
00:15:09,305 --> 00:15:11,312
-Number 40!
-Ohh!
269
00:15:13,144 --> 00:15:16,023
-I'm going back to my date.
-Good.
270
00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:19,121
Don't want to keep
your brother waiting.
Might give you a wedgie.
271
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:29,111
-Isn't Grace gonna join us?
-Uh, no, we had a bit
of a fight back at home.
272
00:15:29,156 --> 00:15:31,598
-It's a long story.
-What's the short version?
273
00:15:31,642 --> 00:15:34,041
We fought at home.
274
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:35,742
Okay. Fair enough.
275
00:15:35,787 --> 00:15:38,404
So, I've never been
here before.
276
00:15:38,448 --> 00:15:39,931
Interesting choice.
277
00:15:39,975 --> 00:15:42,200
-Great, isn't it?
-Yeah. How'd you find it?
278
00:15:42,243 --> 00:15:44,556
Jack told me about it.
Said it was the perfect place
for a--
279
00:15:45,297 --> 00:15:47,392
for a guy like you.
280
00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,878
-Presbyterian?
-Exactly.
281
00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,928
Hey, what are you doing on
the weekend?
282
00:15:51,972 --> 00:15:53,891
'Cause I was thinking,
you know, we could, uh--
283
00:15:54,415 --> 00:15:55,462
We could--
284
00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:58,604
-Uh...
-We could what?
285
00:15:58,647 --> 00:16:00,610
-We could-- we could uh,
drive to the coast.
-Oh, yeah.
286
00:16:00,653 --> 00:16:02,399
There's this great
little bed and--
287
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,463
-Just--
-Yeah.
288
00:16:08,506 --> 00:16:10,383
Hold on for one sec.
289
00:16:10,426 --> 00:16:12,303
-Would you cut it out!
-What?
290
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,876
You're looking at me
all disapproving,
rolling your eyes.
291
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,886
I was debating whether or not
I should add clam strips
to my order.
292
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:20,067
You were not!
293
00:16:20,111 --> 00:16:22,773
I know that look.
It's the same look you give
me when I do a British accent.
294
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,212
-I never--
-[accent] Oh, don't you love?
295
00:16:24,255 --> 00:16:25,696
Aha! there it is!
296
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,152
Look, if you are feeling guilty
because you're compromising
everything you believe in,
297
00:16:32,196 --> 00:16:33,810
that's your thing.
Don't put that on me.
298
00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:35,075
I'm just standing here
thinking about clam strips,
299
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,300
which is moot,
because they're all out.
300
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:38,522
Out and proud.
301
00:16:42,187 --> 00:16:43,932
-Number 39?
-Yes!
302
00:16:43,975 --> 00:16:45,633
-Ten more minutes.
-Ohh!
303
00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:49,604
Just... Stop looking at me.
304
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:55,361
I'm sorry. That won't happen
again. Nothing is going to keep
us from enjoying our evening.
305
00:16:55,406 --> 00:16:56,715
[Harry] Hey, Matt!
306
00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:00,161
Harry, hey, what are
you doing here?
307
00:17:00,204 --> 00:17:02,604
Bringing some dinner home for
my wife. She loves this place.
308
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:04,872
Her hairdresser recommended it.
309
00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:07,534
-Why don't you join us, Harry?
-Don't mind if I do.
310
00:17:07,578 --> 00:17:09,802
-Will, Matt's brother, right?
-That's right. That's me.
311
00:17:09,846 --> 00:17:13,205
So, Will,
you a big jock like Matt?
312
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,515
Oh, yeah.
313
00:17:14,558 --> 00:17:16,390
Hell, I'm wearing
a cup right now.
314
00:17:18,353 --> 00:17:22,192
-Damn, Matt, I spent some
time defending you today.
-Oh, really? Why?
315
00:17:22,236 --> 00:17:25,727
Couple of guys at your
old job said there's
rumor going around...
316
00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,122
that you might be gay.
317
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:29,522
[scoffs]
Me? Gay?
318
00:17:29,566 --> 00:17:31,747
[laughs] Me, gay?
319
00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:34,888
-Did you hear that, Will?
-Yeah. You gay.
320
00:17:36,677 --> 00:17:39,120
-So are you?
-Oh, please, no.
321
00:17:39,163 --> 00:17:41,214
Harry, you don't have to
worry about me. I mean...
322
00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:47,234
I mean, just the idea of two
guys together it just...
323
00:17:47,278 --> 00:17:48,674
just...
324
00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:51,641
creeps me out, you know?
325
00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:57,356
I think two guys
together is hot.
326
00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:04,205
W-what?
327
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,517
Matt, there's something
I have to tell you.
328
00:18:07,826 --> 00:18:09,091
I'm gay.
329
00:18:10,226 --> 00:18:11,753
Wow.
330
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,195
Mom is gonna freak.
331
00:18:15,723 --> 00:18:17,904
You don't seem gay.
332
00:18:17,948 --> 00:18:21,525
Well, that's probably
because my party dress
is at the cleaners.
333
00:18:22,877 --> 00:18:24,797
But make no mistake
about it, Harry.
334
00:18:24,841 --> 00:18:27,546
I am a gay man.
I sleep with men.
335
00:18:27,589 --> 00:18:30,862
I have no desire to sleep
with women... Not now,
not ever.
336
00:18:30,905 --> 00:18:33,959
You screwed me, Will Truman!
337
00:18:36,969 --> 00:18:38,802
What?
338
00:18:38,845 --> 00:18:40,546
Oh, don't you play dumb with me.
339
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:44,865
Oh, you stuck it
to me but good.
340
00:18:44,910 --> 00:18:48,923
-Karen--
-And he is just so comfortable
giving it away, aren't ya?
341
00:18:48,966 --> 00:18:51,192
Wow. Single mothers.
342
00:18:51,235 --> 00:18:53,242
Homeless women.
343
00:18:53,286 --> 00:18:55,423
Sally Struthers!
344
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,299
You make me sick!
345
00:18:59,001 --> 00:19:01,749
I got news for you people,
346
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,843
I'm gonna get him in a room,
347
00:19:03,887 --> 00:19:08,424
and I am gonna work
that little will until
I am satisfied.
348
00:19:10,606 --> 00:19:12,045
Good-bye.
349
00:19:12,089 --> 00:19:14,270
Grace, that blouse
hurts like a hangover.
350
00:19:19,113 --> 00:19:21,512
You know what?
Maybe this isn't the best
time to talk about this.
351
00:19:21,556 --> 00:19:24,217
Maybe it isn't,
but I've got to say this.
352
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,703
I can't go on lying.
353
00:19:26,747 --> 00:19:29,888
I know I said that I would,
and I'm sorry, but I can't.
354
00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:34,905
The only way
I know how to be in
a relationship with you...
355
00:19:34,949 --> 00:19:37,000
brother,
356
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:40,402
is if we are open and honest.
357
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:43,849
Those are the terms.
Can you accept that?
358
00:19:46,641 --> 00:19:48,081
I wish I could...
359
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,705
but I can't.
360
00:19:55,323 --> 00:19:57,897
-Well, then I can't, either.
-[Grace] Good for you!
361
00:19:57,941 --> 00:20:00,384
[ringing service bell]
362
00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:04,354
Who the hell are you?
363
00:20:04,397 --> 00:20:07,800
Just a single woman
in a fish place,
364
00:20:09,065 --> 00:20:10,767
applauding a courageous man.
365
00:20:11,901 --> 00:20:14,563
Come on, Grace.
Let's go home.
366
00:20:15,435 --> 00:20:16,744
Oh, but my onion--
367
00:20:19,797 --> 00:20:23,245
Matt, I-- I know how hard
this must be for you.
368
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,643
A gay guy in your own family.
369
00:20:25,688 --> 00:20:28,959
I can't imagine what
you're feeling right now.
370
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,715
-Matt?
-Jack?
371
00:20:33,758 --> 00:20:35,286
-Justin?
-Dad?
372
00:20:39,953 --> 00:20:42,091
Number 39!
373
00:20:42,134 --> 00:20:43,924
Coming through.
Coming through!
374
00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:56,008
Grace, you've been whittling
away at that onion blossom
for three hours now.
375
00:20:56,052 --> 00:20:57,578
Say good-bye.
376
00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,672
But I just discovered
they're good with sugar.
377
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,375
Okay.
378
00:21:01,418 --> 00:21:03,381
Don't! No, no, no, no.
379
00:21:04,035 --> 00:21:05,344
Thank you.
29918
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