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1
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:05,048
[golf club strikes ball on TV]
2
00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,050
Oh! You see, she's not
listening to her caddy.
3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,226
He told her the green was fast.
4
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:11,489
I wish I had a caddy.
Somebody who'd tell me
5
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,839
about the hazards up ahead
and carry my stuff.
6
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,193
I think I'm your caddy.
7
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,587
Oh, yeah!
8
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:26,374
Now go get me a Fruitopia
and my nine iron.
9
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,071
No, I'm serious.
I'm thirsty, move your ass.
10
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,030
Hey, hey, hey!
11
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,814
Don't get catty with the caddy.
12
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:35,861
Big news!
13
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:41,345
Joe and Larry have invited
us to the South Hamptons
14
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:43,826
for a man-tan reunion.
15
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:46,046
Joe and Larry? You're kidding.
16
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,873
No, it's gonna be wild!
17
00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:50,267
Oh, my God! You remember
their last party?
18
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:52,139
-Yeah.
-I got so drunk,
19
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:55,055
all I remember is... making out
with some guy in the hot tub.
20
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,926
Oh, my God, so did I!
21
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,510
-I don't really remember that.
-I don't. I...
22
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,777
Anyways, I'm so excited!
Gosh, it's been so many years.
23
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:25,172
I hope I can pull off a thong.
24
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:29,350
Isn't the point of these
weekends to pull off
someone else's?
25
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:34,181
No, Grace, you can't come.
I'm sorry, loving you to
Della Reese's pieces, but...
26
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:35,356
gay guys only.
27
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,662
Remind me to invite Karen.
28
00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:45,192
That's fine. As much
as I would love a couple
of days of lube and Liza...
29
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:51,676
I... am going to
Ben's yacht club this weekend.
30
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,115
Wow. The black man is
taking the Jewish girl
to the yacht club.
31
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:58,422
You two are so out, you're in.
32
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,774
Bring me a souvenir.
Actually, ew! Don't!
33
00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:19,269
-Ooh-ooh!
-I can't hear you!
34
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,750
Ooh-ooh!
35
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,404
We're here, we're queer
36
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,101
Give us a light beer!
37
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,581
We're here, we're queer
38
00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:29,975
-Give us a light beer!
-Shh, hey, quiet.
39
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:35,372
Hi, good to see you. Why, uh...
why are we whispering?
40
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:38,375
Yeah, and if we don't,
will we be disciplined?
41
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:42,901
No, no, no, no. I think
you got the wrong idea.
42
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,121
Hey, guys!
43
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,601
Captain Hornblower!
44
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:50,474
Hello.
45
00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:01,137
I'm not quite getting
the theme of this party.
46
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:05,315
Hi, guys, great to see you.
I'd kiss, but it's flu season.
47
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:09,319
This is Hannah.
She's our little puddin'.
48
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,060
Something tells me
the, uh, the baby oil
49
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,541
is actually going to
be used on babies this year.
50
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:21,157
So... first time at
a yacht club, huh?
51
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,768
I'm guessing you're pretty
impressed with me right now.
52
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,424
-So am I!
-[laughing]
53
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:30,384
Well, well, well.
Look what the cat cleaned up,
54
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:34,214
showered, exfoliated, powdered,
lipsticked, Gucci'd
and dragged in.
55
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:41,482
Karen Walker.
You know, I thought I saw
a waiter out front weeping.
56
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:45,268
Now it all makes sense.
57
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:48,489
Oh, honey, look at you
in a yacht club. It's weird.
58
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:51,100
It's-it's kind of like seeing...
59
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,102
you in a yacht club.
60
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,761
Well, you might want to
get used to it, Karen darling,
61
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:02,938
'cause you'll be seeing
a lot more of me around here,
a-hoo-hoo--
62
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:05,157
[coughing]
63
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:06,594
Are you all right, baby?
64
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:14,819
So, I, uh... I noticed
they redid the floors in
the bridge room. Touch me.
65
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,391
What did you say?
66
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:25,656
What? Nothing.
What did you think I
just said? Fondle me.
67
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:31,793
Mrs. Walker, you're
not fooling anyone.
68
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:34,578
What, I'm not trying
to fool anyone! Take me.
69
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,756
That's not even subtle.
70
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,803
What? What isn't?
71
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,501
"Touch me, fondle me, take me."
72
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:48,679
Well, well.
Aren't you a dirty bird?
73
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:54,076
-But all right!
-Aa-ah.
74
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,339
I think I'll go say hello to
your husband. You remember him,
75
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,602
the one you married
in sickness and in wealth?
76
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:02,040
I'll be right back, baby.
77
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,873
Mm-mmm! I love to watch him go.
[laughing]
78
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:15,097
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"Ben's so cute! Ben's
so sexy! Ben's so 'big'!"
79
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:19,580
I didn't say that.
80
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,801
Oh... Well, just get to work!
81
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,848
We're not at work.
82
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:29,938
Well, then quit yapping
about your boyfriend
and file something!
83
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,026
Give me a drink.
84
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,638
Why are you being...? [gasping]
85
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:40,557
Oh, my God!
86
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,299
You're jealous!
87
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,866
Wha...? What?
88
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,001
You are!
89
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:54,615
You're jealous
of my hot black lover!
90
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,881
You know what?
91
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:04,189
You can be really
mean sometimes.
92
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:13,895
I'm mean?! You introduce me
to your friends as "Bozo Adler."
93
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,506
Karen...
94
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,116
[Rosario] She's right, you know.
95
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,776
Yahh!
96
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,345
Rosario, what are
you doing here?
97
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,261
Mr. Stan forgot
his evening toupee.
98
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,700
And shame on you.
99
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:42,053
Oh, for what? Oh, come on,
I was just having some fun.
100
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:46,797
You know how rare it is
I find something good like
that to flaunt in her face.
101
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,191
Well, your timing sucks, Bozo.
102
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,372
Please don't call me Bozo.
103
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,070
Look, I'm gonna tell you
something, and if you repeat it,
104
00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:02,247
I'm gonna wash your mouth
out with toilet cleanser.
105
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,078
You're lovely.
106
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:12,170
In a week, Miss Karen
will be the same age as
Mr. Stan's first wife
107
00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:14,695
-when he cut her loose.
-So?
108
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:18,742
Do I have to spell it out
for you? She's plagued by
feelings of insecurity,
109
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:20,831
wondering if she's still
attractive to men.
110
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,486
I'm hooked on The View.
111
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,317
Karen? I don't believe it.
112
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,971
I'm telling you,
she's not herself.
113
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,887
The other day, I saw her
put milk in her cereal.
114
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,454
Instead of Bailey's?
115
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,025
It's not funny when
you know the truth.
116
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,376
Well, it's less funny.
117
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,988
Oh, poor Karen, I feel awful.
118
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,468
I'm gonna go talk to her.
119
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:55,736
Well, since you're sharing...
how old is Karen?
120
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,478
Come close.
121
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,481
Closer.
122
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,352
Ow, ow, ow!
123
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,836
If you value your life, you'll
never ask that again, Bozo!
124
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:22,066
See you later, guys.
Bye, Scotty.
125
00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:29,987
I know every parent says
this, but Hannah really is
superior to all the other kids.
126
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:34,949
I mean, you saw the envy
in that other baby's eyes.
127
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:40,345
So wow, what's it like being
fathers? I mean, is it amazing?
128
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:43,392
Well, it-it's totally
changed our lives.
129
00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:48,092
I haven't slept in eight months,
I've completely lost my figure,
130
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:52,575
but... I have what I've always
dreamed of, a family.
131
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:56,231
Yeah, that's neat.
Hey, fellas, look.
132
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:02,150
J'adore you, okay?
Je can't get enough of you.
133
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:07,242
But, um, it's tough love time.
134
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:11,594
And I know I speak for Will
when I say we're
very disappointed.
135
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:15,163
This whole baby thing
makes you guys losers.
136
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,556
What?!
137
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,081
It does not...
I don't feel that way.
138
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,605
I... That is completely wrong,
and don't ever speak for me.
139
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,216
Notice he did not say
that I was wrong.
140
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,914
Yes, I did, that's
exactly what I said.
141
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:29,438
I rest my case.
142
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,222
Well, how about
resting your pie-hole?
143
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,923
I-I think what you guys
are doing is very cool.
144
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:38,882
-I can't wait to be a father.
-You'd be a great dad, Will.
145
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:41,972
Yeah, you know,
I always thought I would.
Yeah, I totally want this.
146
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:46,498
I just have to find
the right guy...
and the right uterus.
147
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,979
Hopefully not in
the same person.
148
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:56,639
I don't get it. I mean,
personally, I think you
should've gotten a bird.
149
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:02,079
They're much more colorful,
and you don't get social
workers breathing down
150
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:05,605
your neck every time
you lock them in a cage
at night. [laughs]
151
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,174
Ooh, wrong crowd.
152
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:16,006
You know how you get to
that place in your life
when the endless parties
153
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,922
and the up-all-night
and the drinking
and the casual sex
154
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,142
just don't do it
for you anymore?
155
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,839
I'm not following.
156
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,237
I'm sure this is all
boring for you.
157
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,719
Tell us what fabulous things
you guys have been up to.
158
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:37,549
Oh. Uh, well, we, um...
We have put together
a time capsule.
159
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:40,857
Actually, it's-it's
more of a junk drawer,
160
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:43,991
but it's so nice
to have everything right
there and organized.
161
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:47,124
Oh, and-and we still have
our Friday night movie club.
162
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,865
-Yeah.
-Yeah, we sit in the back row,
163
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:52,260
and every time straight
people kiss, we hiss.
164
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,136
Oh. Do you know how
long it's been since
we've been to a movie?
165
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,573
Well, here's an idea. I mean,
166
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,967
seeing as we're obviously not
gonna be doing Jell-O shots
167
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:06,578
and playing
pin the tail on the donkey--
168
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:09,407
-How is the donkey, by the way?
-Oh, good.
169
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:12,019
Good. His oldest
is starting pre-K.
170
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:17,938
Why don't you two go to a movie,
and we'll stay here with Hannah?
171
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:20,810
Woman!
Have you lost your mind
172
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:24,335
as well as your looks?
I ain't baby-sittin'!
173
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,120
-I'll pay you.
-I wouldn't do it for $100.
174
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,512
-How 'bout 50?
-Fine.
175
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,865
Guys, if you hurry,
you can catch the 7:00 show.
176
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,695
-What do you think?
-Can we do that?
177
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:38,872
I mean, she's just gonna
be sleeping anyway.
178
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:42,092
Exactly. Of course you are,
aren't you, Hannah?
179
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,660
You'd be happy to have me
take care of you, wouldn't you?
180
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,185
Hmm? What's that?
Oh, no, sweetheart.
181
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,361
That's not the tooth fairy.
182
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,626
No. This fairy
doesn't have a job.
183
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,769
Ah, Smitty. Why is there
so much pain in the world?
184
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,556
So much cruelty?
185
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,908
Can you tell me that, Smitty?
186
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,387
My name is not Smitty.
187
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,090
I don't need your life story,
nose hair. Just fill her up.
188
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,488
Hey, Karen.
189
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:35,102
I just... wanted to say
sorry about before.
190
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,849
-You know, you look
great tonight.
-Yeah, yeah.
191
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:46,156
No, I mean really great.
192
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,723
Listen, I was sitting
across the room.
193
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,639
And I saw you,
and you took my breath away.
194
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,950
-What?
-Yeah.
195
00:12:56,993 --> 00:13:00,867
I mean, you are such a sexy,
beautiful, vibrant woman.
196
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,217
Anyone would be
so lucky to have you.
197
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,612
Are you hitting on me?
198
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:15,620
Wh... What? No! Where do you g--
199
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:19,102
You are! Oh, my God.
200
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,236
You're a big lez.
201
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,636
-Karen...
-You know,
202
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,900
people have always said
you were, but I said,
203
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,858
"No. That's just
the way she walks."
204
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:45,085
I have a sturdy gait.
205
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,001
Oh, honey, come on.
206
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:51,134
Finally, an explanation for the
chunky shoes and all the keys.
207
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,274
No. No, no, no, no, no. See...
208
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:08,238
Look. Look. Um, Karen...
209
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:13,591
I just... sensed that you
were feeling a little down.
210
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:17,247
And I just wanted to make
sure that you know how
attractive you are.
211
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,859
Hey, back off, Lezzie Borden.
212
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:26,256
No means no.
213
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:37,180
Come on, little Hannah.
Time for bed. Time for sleep.
214
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:40,140
Say good night. Say good night
to Uncle Will and Auntie Jack.
215
00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:45,319
Close your eyes.
Come on. I don't know,
she's not even tired.
216
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,412
♪ Hey, sister
go, sister ♪
217
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,456
♪ Soul sister
go, sister-- ♪
218
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,720
Jack. That's not gonna work.
219
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:58,288
♪ Hey, sister
go, sister ♪
220
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,160
-♪ Soul, sister
soul, sister ♪
-Jack, come on.
221
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:04,120
♪ He met Marmalade
down in old New Orleans ♪
222
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:06,949
♪ Struttin' her stuff
on the street ♪
223
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,951
♪ She said
Hello, hey, Joe ♪
224
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,561
♪ You wanna give it a go?
225
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:14,261
♪ Gitchi, gitchi
ya ya ya ya ♪
226
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:17,612
♪ Gitchi, gitchi, ya ya yee
227
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:18,700
♪ Mocha chocolata, ya ya
228
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:24,140
♪ Creole Lady Mamalo
229
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:27,535
♪ Voulez-vous coucher
avec moi, ce soir? ♪
230
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:30,407
-♪ Voulez-vous coucher--
-Jack. Jack. Jack.
231
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,931
She's asleep.
232
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,236
I was just getting
to the best part of the song.
233
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,151
It doesn't matter
because she's asleep.
234
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,893
Oh.
235
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:38,807
She's cute.
236
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,375
Cute? She's heaven.
237
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:45,118
This is really what
it's about, you know?
238
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,858
And it doesn't seem that hard.
239
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:49,252
I mean, what do they do?
They eat. They sleep. They poop.
240
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:52,038
God, I'd kill for that life.
241
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,387
You have that life.
242
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:58,000
I want this, you know?
243
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:01,308
I... I got to kiss that
little puddin's cheeks.
244
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,267
[Hannah crying]
245
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,531
-Hey, baby.
-Hey.
246
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,490
Want to go for
a ride on my boat?
247
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,536
Oh! Oh, oh, you know,
this isn't the time.
248
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:15,583
No. I mean my actual boat.
It's docked in the harbor.
249
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:19,630
Oh. Maybe later. Look.
250
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:22,590
-I need you to do
something for me.
-Anything, baby.
251
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:25,462
I need you to hit on Karen.
252
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,639
Please tell me you said,
"I need you to put
a hit on Karen."
253
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,905
[Hannah crying]
254
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:36,473
Damn it, Jack. You promised
you would help me burp her.
255
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:39,041
Will, I don't know nothin'
about burpin' no babies.
256
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:41,565
Now get off my back.
257
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,350
-I thought we were
in this together.
-No.
258
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:46,266
This is what you wanted.
I never wanted this
baby to begin with.
259
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:51,271
I want my life back.
260
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,925
Well, guess what? She's here,
and we can't send her back.
261
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,363
-So how about a little help?
-You don't want my help.
262
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,669
I told you to do what my mother
did to me when I was crying.
263
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:01,672
Jack, I am not gonna leave
this child in a laundromat.
264
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,415
Well, then leave
me at one because
265
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,896
I'm a woman on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.
266
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:11,726
God, you're worthless.
And don't think I'm gonna forget
how you've been tonight.
267
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,598
-You are
unreliable, irresponsible--
-Oh, shut up, Will!
268
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,383
You're just freaked out
'cause you stink at this.
269
00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:19,081
-Excuse me?
-You suck at being a dad,
270
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,865
and you're taking it out on me.
271
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,046
I'm gonna go see if
she needs changing.
272
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,181
-Hey, sweetie.
-Hey.
273
00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:34,140
-How'd it go?
-Well,
274
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:38,448
I gave her some
of my best stuff.
I gave her the lean in.
275
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:43,975
I gave her the soft touch.
I flashed her these.
276
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:47,588
And then I finished
off by giving her a little
of the 20/20 hindsight.
277
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:50,112
Oh, yeah.
278
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:55,596
Oh, you did a good thing.
I appreciate it.
279
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:58,338
Now, where is that boat
you keep talking about?
280
00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:02,298
Mr. Doucette? May I have
a word with you, please?
281
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,126
Uh, I'm in the middle
of a conversation here.
282
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,997
It's a rather pressing matter.
283
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,088
I'll be back in a minute, baby.
284
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,440
Hi, Ben.
285
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:16,660
Hi, honey.
286
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:19,141
-You seem happy.
-Oh, yeah, I am.
287
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:22,623
Listen, Grace. I just...
I want you to know that...
288
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:25,104
I know everything you
tried to do for me.
289
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,541
Are you feeling better?
290
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,978
Yeah, I am, but that's
not why. Sweet story.
291
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,720
Ben's being kicked
out of the club.
292
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,765
-What?!
-Oh, it's so romantic.
293
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:38,204
Oh. Stan saw him hitting on me,
and he got so jealous,
294
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:42,295
he threw his ass out.
Oh, Stan loves me, Grace.
295
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,514
I am walking on air. Yeah.
296
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:48,214
I may give the little
admiral a salute tonight.
297
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,304
Wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no. This was not
the way it was supposed to go.
298
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:54,611
Oh, it never does, honey.
Ooh, speaking of which,
you better pack it up too.
299
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:57,048
They're not crazy
about the lesbians.
300
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:09,496
Ooh, hello, hottie in the Honda.
Great scar!
301
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:15,328
Oh! Speed up. Come on.
Speed, speed up.
302
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,809
Uh. Oh, great. He's gone.
303
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,985
Was gonna spend the rest
of my life with him.
304
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:25,990
What, what? Why do you
hate me so much?
305
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:29,124
I don't hate you.
I'm not even mad at you.
306
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,692
Then why have you been
oozing hostility
307
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:34,999
ever since we dropped sad doll
back off with her parents?
308
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:39,917
I'm upset about what
you said earlier.
309
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,093
-About your big old boobs?
-No.
310
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,142
-About you being boney?
-No.
311
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,667
-About your hair plugs?
-I don't have hair plugs.
312
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:54,628
I hate that I couldn't take
care of one little kid.
313
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:57,065
You're right. I'd suck as a dad.
314
00:19:57,108 --> 00:20:01,287
Uh, I just said that to
upset you. I didn't mean it.
315
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:03,463
Whether you meant it
or not, it's true.
316
00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,204
If I can't take care
of a kid for one night,
317
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,553
how am I gonna do it
when it's for real?
318
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,555
[car horn honks,
tires screech]
319
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,861
I always just assumed
I'd be a great dad.
320
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:13,777
I never doubted it. Now I...
321
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:17,346
What are you talking about?
You just did
the soccer mom arm save.
322
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,526
-So?
-So you have the instinct.
323
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:26,399
That's not the
instinct of a dad.
That's the instinct of a guy
324
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,879
who didn't take out insurance
on his passenger.
325
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,361
Will, you're gonna
be an awesome dad.
326
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,581
You're caring. You're
thoughtful. You're generous.
327
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,496
You're just saying that
to make me feel better.
328
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:39,194
No, I'm not. I mean, what
would I get out of that?
329
00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:44,460
You're gonna be a great dad
because, for the last 10 years,
330
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:46,245
you've been a great one to me.
331
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,340
-Wanna stop for ice cream?
-Nah.
332
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,258
Wanna go to a bar
and look at hot guys?
333
00:21:00,737 --> 00:21:02,261
I love you, Daddy.
24853
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