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Previously on
"Pushing Daisies"...
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00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:05,172
Young Ned had a
special gift.
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00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:08,709
He could touch dead things
and bring them back to life.
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00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:11,273
But he could only bring
the dead back to life
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00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,003
for one minute.
Any longer,
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00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,846
and someone else
had to die.
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00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,904
And there was one more
thing he had to learn --
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00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,185
first touch, life.
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00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:21,438
Second touch,
dead again forever.
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00:00:21,686 --> 00:00:23,860
But as young Ned grew
into the pie maker,
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00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,992
this gift proved to be most
useful in the untimely death
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00:00:27,025 --> 00:00:29,299
of his childhood sweetheart,
Charlotte Charles.
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00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:31,008
Are you in love with her?
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00:00:31,119 --> 00:00:32,372
- You only got a minute.
- I know.
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00:00:32,405 --> 00:00:33,521
- 60 seconds.
- I know.
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00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,363
What if you didn't
have to be dead?
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00:00:35,367 --> 00:00:36,321
You can't touch me.
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00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,220
So a kiss is out
of the question?
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00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,071
You touch murder victims,
you ask who killed them,
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00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,093
you touch them again,
they go back to being dead,
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00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:45,123
- and then you collect the reward?
- That's it in a nutshell.
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00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:48,713
- Might I make an observation?
- Compliment or criticism?
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00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,350
A neutral thought, I would say.
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00:00:50,387 --> 00:00:52,063
It's neither complimentary
nor critical.
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00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,881
Neutral thought gives me pause.
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00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:56,273
- You seem decidedly unhappy.
- What are you beating at?
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00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,353
An offer to repair
your espresso machine.
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00:01:01,608 --> 00:01:06,400
Season 1, Episode 8 - Bitter Sweets
For www.forom.com
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00:01:07,737 --> 00:01:10,733
The motto of the Longborough
School for boys was
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00:01:10,826 --> 00:01:16,451
"institutum superior omnibus,"
or "tradition over all."
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00:01:16,705 --> 00:01:19,800
But on this morning,
whether it was the topic of flight
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00:01:19,888 --> 00:01:22,240
or the brandy the
teachers parlor,
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00:01:22,628 --> 00:01:24,833
Mr. Gault threw
tradition to the wind
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00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:28,252
and let the students chose
their own lab partners.
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00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,801
young Ned,
however found his chosen for him.
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00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,473
Eugene Mulchandani was
an exchange student
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00:01:36,565 --> 00:01:38,761
from Gorakhpur, India.
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00:01:39,095 --> 00:01:42,563
Young Ned felt a gnawing pity
growing in his stomach,
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00:01:42,815 --> 00:01:44,561
as was tradition.
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00:01:45,858 --> 00:01:48,730
But beneath
Eugene's headgear
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00:01:48,985 --> 00:01:50,863
thrived an
active imagination
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00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:54,573
and a useful gift for
aeronautical model building,
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00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,571
as well as the hope that
someone might not dislike him
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00:01:58,626 --> 00:02:01,831
for the simple fact
that he was different.
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00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:12,090
Young Ned found himself breaking
with his own tradition
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00:02:12,145 --> 00:02:14,090
and, in a moment
of passion...
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00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:17,592
he fought back.
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00:02:18,057 --> 00:02:21,263
For the first time since
his father dropped him off,
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00:02:21,518 --> 00:02:23,893
young Ned made a friend.
50
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,231
In the surge of emotion,
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00:02:26,287 --> 00:02:28,132
he forgot his
mother had died,
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00:02:28,157 --> 00:02:29,700
his father had left him,
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00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,102
and that he missed
the girl named Chuck.
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00:02:32,315 --> 00:02:33,523
He also forgot
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00:02:33,606 --> 00:02:36,002
he was jumping into a
pile of dead leaves
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00:02:36,246 --> 00:02:38,492
that were once alive.
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00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:48,373
Eugene Mulchandani fled in a
flurry of saliva and fear.
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00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:52,460
Eugene would eventually
forget young Ned's mistake
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00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,631
and chalk it up
to magic leaves.
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00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:58,172
But young Ned
would never forget
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00:02:58,227 --> 00:03:02,301
that happiness born of passion
is always short-lived.
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00:03:02,396 --> 00:03:04,472
Yet, for no fought
of his own,
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00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:07,433
he had once again stumbled
into happiness...
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00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:10,390
- Good morning.
- Which terrified him.
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00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,982
Morning.
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00:03:12,236 --> 00:03:15,402
- Guess what day it is today.
- World hello day.
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00:03:16,117 --> 00:03:19,031
You finally put up my
calendar of obscure holidays.
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00:03:19,288 --> 00:03:22,573
Yes. And hola! That's espa�ola.
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00:03:22,876 --> 00:03:26,202
Merhaba, selamat pagi, o si yo.
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00:03:26,548 --> 00:03:28,473
That's turkish,
indonesian, and cherokee.
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00:03:28,506 --> 00:03:30,121
Although the indonesian
really says "good day,"
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00:03:30,157 --> 00:03:31,902
which I think is much
better than "hello,"
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00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,742
'cause what does that say?
That says, "I'm here.
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00:03:33,776 --> 00:03:35,632
Your turn to talk."
Kind of selfish.
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00:03:37,678 --> 00:03:40,050
- What?
- Nothing.
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00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,603
The pie maker wished
to express to Chuck
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00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,640
exactly how intense
his fer her.
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00:03:45,857 --> 00:03:47,853
Am I your boyfriend?
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00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:50,113
And I realize "boyfriend"
and "girlfriend"
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00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,803
are familiar, trite labels.
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00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,412
If convention were
something you soaked in,
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00:03:53,448 --> 00:03:55,280
"boyfriend" would be
dripping with it.
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00:03:55,316 --> 00:03:56,963
But we've never
actually said it,
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00:03:56,985 --> 00:03:58,951
and I think we need to define
the relationship. But,
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00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,822
it may be helpful in a familiar,
trite way --
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00:04:02,115 --> 00:04:04,201
The way on a holiday
created to sell
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00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,063
greeting cards it's still
kind of nice to get a card.
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00:04:07,245 --> 00:04:09,763
And are you gonna cut me off
with a "yes" anytime soon?
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00:04:09,797 --> 00:04:10,751
Yes.
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00:04:17,468 --> 00:04:19,840
You never said what today is.
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00:04:20,098 --> 00:04:21,132
Thank you.
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00:04:22,098 --> 00:04:25,592
Today is my daddy's birthday.
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00:04:26,855 --> 00:04:29,853
You know he would have been 60
today if he were still alive?
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00:04:30,027 --> 00:04:31,820
The mention of
Chuck's father
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00:04:31,988 --> 00:04:34,281
sent the pie maker's
thoughts spinning.
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00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:38,861
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
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00:04:39,236 --> 00:04:41,070
The meaning of
"nothing" was
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00:04:41,445 --> 00:04:45,283
"I never told you that I
inadvertently killed your father."
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00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,660
Olive Snook had
told the pie maker
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00:04:48,738 --> 00:04:51,982
she was happy for his happiness
with the girl named Chuck,
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00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:54,250
but upon hearing the
word "boyfriend,"
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00:04:54,546 --> 00:04:58,170
she unexpectedly found her
sadness spinning into anger.
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00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,673
It was a truth she could
not yet stare in the face.
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00:05:02,715 --> 00:05:04,343
Olive.
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00:05:06,745 --> 00:05:10,183
- Where are all the customers?
- You got me.
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00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,020
I am a customer.
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00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:16,102
Her dizzy heart missed another
truth staring her in the face.
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00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,402
Fredo.
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00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,822
Alfredo, when did you come in?
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00:05:22,915 --> 00:05:24,673
Before, when you
opened the door for me
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00:05:24,705 --> 00:05:26,693
and I asked how you were,
then you said you were fine.
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00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:27,812
Then I asked for a macchiato,
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00:05:27,846 --> 00:05:29,782
and you said,
"coming right up."
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00:05:30,087 --> 00:05:31,833
So, I guess you'll
still want that.
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00:05:31,835 --> 00:05:33,080
Yes, please.
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00:05:40,008 --> 00:05:43,130
- This case is easy money.
- You told me that already.
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00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:45,233
It's my fault Chuck's
father's dead.
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00:05:45,265 --> 00:05:47,861
- You told me that already.
- I should just tell her.
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00:05:47,935 --> 00:05:49,821
Well, that idea might
make a stupid idea
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00:05:49,858 --> 00:05:51,400
feel better about itself.
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00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:53,930
- I can't keep lying to her.
- You ain't lying.
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00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:55,642
The only way you're lying
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00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,291
is if she asks the question,
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00:05:57,326 --> 00:06:00,162
"Hey, did you kill my father when
you brought your mother back,
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00:06:00,195 --> 00:06:02,293
which I didn't know about,
because you never told me?"
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00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:03,533
Don't tell her.
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00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,860
Have you guys heard?
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00:06:07,906 --> 00:06:10,670
The most amazing new candy store
is opening up across the street.
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00:06:10,708 --> 00:06:12,280
It's amazing.
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00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:14,413
Who are you?
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00:06:14,498 --> 00:06:16,222
I'm just some guy who's
telling everybody about it
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00:06:16,258 --> 00:06:17,402
'cause it's so amazing.
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00:06:17,407 --> 00:06:19,342
Seriously, everybody,
you got to check this out.
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00:06:19,377 --> 00:06:20,972
Do you work for
the candy store?
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00:06:21,108 --> 00:06:22,460
No. I'm just some guy.
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00:06:22,718 --> 00:06:23,962
"Some guy"?
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00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:26,013
Yeah. Some guy who
sure loves candy.
138
00:06:26,265 --> 00:06:28,473
Be sure to tell everne you know.
See ya.
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00:06:29,135 --> 00:06:31,542
Oh, no. See?
This is how it all ends.
140
00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:34,272
Some weird guy comes in saying
stuff that don't make no sense.
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00:06:34,308 --> 00:06:36,051
And by the time
your head realizes,
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00:06:36,108 --> 00:06:37,702
"Hey, this weird guy
don't make no sense,"
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00:06:37,738 --> 00:06:39,040
your guts are all
over the window.
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00:06:39,073 --> 00:06:39,832
Here.
145
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,509
So, did Ned tell you
he's my boyfriend?
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00:06:44,235 --> 00:06:46,948
You two are gonna
love this case.
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00:06:47,249 --> 00:06:48,632
The facts were these --
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00:06:48,668 --> 00:06:50,240
one Tony Dinapoli --
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00:06:50,318 --> 00:06:53,781
26 years, 9 weeks, 2 hours,
and 10 minutes old --
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00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:57,173
was found strangled to death
in his friend's apartment.
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00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:59,332
His girlfriend,
Tina Arongino,
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00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,180
was arrested
at the scene
153
00:07:01,256 --> 00:07:02,970
for the murder the
police described
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00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,002
as a typical
crime of passion.
155
00:07:05,305 --> 00:07:06,801
I freakin' loved Tony.
156
00:07:07,098 --> 00:07:09,490
You got to help me, Emerson Cod.
I didn't do it.
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00:07:11,346 --> 00:07:13,493
With the evidence
stacked against her,
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00:07:13,528 --> 00:07:17,353
Tina Arongino
hired Emerson Cod.
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00:07:23,826 --> 00:07:25,322
How you doin'?
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00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,363
Do you know how you're doing?
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00:07:27,576 --> 00:07:28,902
I'm dead, right?
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00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,382
Your girlfriend murder you?
163
00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,572
Hell, no.
Me and Tina were mad for each other.
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00:07:32,608 --> 00:07:34,160
She friggin' loved me.
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00:07:34,217 --> 00:07:36,701
It was burly Bruce
Carter who strangled me.
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00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:38,290
This burly Bruce,
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00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,331
did he have congenitally
dainty hands?
168
00:07:40,386 --> 00:07:42,020
'Cause those strangle
marks were made by
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00:07:42,057 --> 00:07:44,710
a petite female with rounded,
crimson, french-tipped nails.
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00:07:44,747 --> 00:07:47,213
He used his girlfriend
hands to kill me.
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00:07:48,096 --> 00:07:49,792
I don't know what
to do with that.
172
00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:52,511
His girlfriend's a doll --
not like you're a doll.
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00:07:52,808 --> 00:07:55,553
She's a doll doll,
like life-sized and plastic.
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00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:58,313
- You mean she's not real?
- Don't tell Bruce that.
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00:07:58,468 --> 00:07:59,680
That was my mistake.
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00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:02,510
Bruce invited me and Tina
over for a double date.
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00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,942
I got to Bruce's
place before Tina did.
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00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:06,450
When he showed me the doll
179
00:08:06,475 --> 00:08:08,972
and said it was his girlfriend,
I let him have it.
180
00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:10,690
Then he kind of flipped out.
181
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:18,370
So you're saying the murder weapon
was a life-size-human doll?
182
00:08:18,428 --> 00:08:19,952
That's what I'm sayin'.
183
00:08:20,006 --> 00:08:22,201
- Got a phone number, sweetie?
- Do you mind?
184
00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:24,601
- What about friggin' Tina?
- I'm dead, ain't I?
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00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:25,883
No.
186
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,801
- Now you're dead.
- Oh, my gosh.
187
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,840
Well, that was a
crime of passion.
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00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,881
What? It was a minute.
I'm having a hard day.
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00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:42,520
Olive found herself in a cloud
of steamed milk and self-pity,
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00:08:42,816 --> 00:08:45,062
unaware of the warm
breath blowing out
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00:08:45,237 --> 00:08:47,280
of the mouth of
Alfredo Aldarisio.
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00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,582
...is compromised,
because a traveling salesman
193
00:08:49,615 --> 00:08:51,660
isn't such a thing if
he does not travel.
194
00:08:51,746 --> 00:08:53,942
As any nontraditional-remedy
salesman knows,
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00:08:54,078 --> 00:08:56,000
resistance to the novel
and the unconventional
196
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,921
is marbled through this
country like gristle.
197
00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,651
If I'm not cutting that gristle,
I'm not doing my job.
198
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,870
Were you talking?
199
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,080
I have to go back
on the road soon.
200
00:09:05,427 --> 00:09:07,321
It may be a long time
before I return.
201
00:09:07,465 --> 00:09:09,671
- Can I ask you a question?
- Of course.
202
00:09:12,466 --> 00:09:14,632
- If you loved me...
- Yes.
203
00:09:14,935 --> 00:09:16,933
...And we could never,
ever, ever touch,
204
00:09:16,978 --> 00:09:18,773
wouldn't you eventually
get over it and move on,
205
00:09:18,806 --> 00:09:20,731
letting someone else
have the slightest hope
206
00:09:20,766 --> 00:09:22,200
that you might move on to them?
207
00:09:22,235 --> 00:09:24,353
- If I loved you?
- Yeah.
208
00:09:27,158 --> 00:09:29,610
Then I would love you
in any way I could.
209
00:09:30,275 --> 00:09:32,691
And if we could not touch, then
210
00:09:32,757 --> 00:09:34,861
I would draw strength
from your beauty.
211
00:09:35,155 --> 00:09:36,912
And if I went blind,
212
00:09:37,248 --> 00:09:40,162
then I would fill my soul
with the sound of your voice
213
00:09:40,335 --> 00:09:41,982
and the contents
of your thoughts
214
00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:45,042
until the last spark
of my love for you
215
00:09:45,296 --> 00:09:47,882
lit the shabby darkness
of my dying mind.
216
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,553
Forget it.
217
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,381
Mr. Carter?
218
00:09:57,686 --> 00:09:58,970
Mr. Bruce Carter?
219
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,900
What if he does
actually believe
220
00:10:00,938 --> 00:10:02,440
that his doll is a real person?
221
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,903
Maybe that is his truth.
It's just different from our truth.
222
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,231
The truth ain't like puppies --
223
00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:08,573
a bunch of them running around,
you pick your favorite.
224
00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:11,021
One truth,
and it has come a-knockin'.
225
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,412
But let's just say he's
got his own truth,
226
00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:14,552
and he's grown attached to it.
227
00:10:14,587 --> 00:10:16,710
Marry that with a short
fuse and a violent temper,
228
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,362
and what you get is --
229
00:10:19,878 --> 00:10:21,493
What do you want?
230
00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:24,542
That crazy broad Tina
tryin' to pin this on me?
231
00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:26,332
'Cause she came in screamin',
232
00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:27,803
said Tony had been
foolin' around on her.
233
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,682
Then she leapt on
him like a cat.
234
00:10:29,778 --> 00:10:31,072
It was over before it started.
235
00:10:31,107 --> 00:10:32,351
The evidence backs me up.
236
00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:34,091
Yeah. On that subject--
237
00:10:34,427 --> 00:10:35,732
Mr. Carter,
you are a big, tough guy,
238
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,113
and I have no doubt you could
make mincemeat out of all of us
239
00:10:38,148 --> 00:10:40,493
if what you needed was more mincemeat.
But the shoes by the door
240
00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:43,020
and the daffodils on the table
and the smell of garlic pasta
241
00:10:43,057 --> 00:10:45,803
- coming from the kitchen...
- Maybe I got a girlfriend.
242
00:10:45,857 --> 00:10:47,643
That so hard to believe?
243
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,911
And Sheila's got
nothin' to do with this.
244
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,812
Yeah. Uh,
when you say "Sheila" --
245
00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:54,401
Did Sheila witness the
murder of Tony Dinapoli?
246
00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:56,323
I'm done talkin'.
247
00:10:56,578 --> 00:10:57,992
You need to leave now.
248
00:10:58,006 --> 00:11:00,170
But if she saw something or
did something, we understand.
249
00:11:00,205 --> 00:11:02,901
You're just trying to protect
her 'cause you love her.
250
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,581
It wasn't Sheila's fault, okay?
251
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,543
It was mine. Take me.
252
00:11:12,048 --> 00:11:14,923
I never should have put
her in that situation.
253
00:11:15,468 --> 00:11:16,760
It's okay. Okay.
254
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:21,593
Sheila! Sheila, baby!
You can come out.
255
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,561
- The g's up.
- It's okay.
256
00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:28,603
She's probably too scared.
257
00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:32,353
The information Emerson
Cod gave the police
258
00:11:32,415 --> 00:11:36,321
led to further investigation of
Tony Dinapoli's real murder
259
00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:39,490
due to
unreal circumstances.
260
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,740
Tina Arongino
was released.
261
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:45,580
Burly Bruce Carter was detained
by local authorities,
262
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:47,623
awaiting his trial.
263
00:11:48,106 --> 00:11:50,791
Sheila! I love you!
264
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,883
Sheila the doll
was also detained.
265
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:58,211
Olive, having been detained
by her own angry thoughts
266
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,302
for long enough,
had escaped
267
00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:03,011
to sample
something sweeter.
268
00:12:12,278 --> 00:12:14,690
Welcome. Bitter much?
269
00:12:14,726 --> 00:12:15,751
I'm sorry?
270
00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:18,033
Sweets taste sweeter with
a bite of the bitter.
271
00:12:18,065 --> 00:12:20,910
Welcome to Balsam's Bittersweets
Taffy & Sweets Emporium.
272
00:12:21,247 --> 00:12:22,650
- Bitter much?
- Yes.
273
00:12:22,998 --> 00:12:24,740
Actually, bitter very much.
274
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,833
Aren't you "some guy"?
275
00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:30,293
You're a pie holer.
Billy Balsam, co-owner.
276
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,122
Hi.
277
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:35,440
I-I thought we should bring pie.
That's what new neighbors do.
278
00:12:35,477 --> 00:12:37,340
So sweet. You are so sweet.
279
00:12:37,676 --> 00:12:40,313
A girl could get the diabetes
just standing next to you.
280
00:12:40,348 --> 00:12:42,441
Dilly, there's some other
small-business owners
281
00:12:42,476 --> 00:12:45,052
- from across the street.
- Who's Dilly?
282
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,933
Bitter much?
283
00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:51,290
Pie holers,
I'd like you to meet my sister
284
00:12:51,327 --> 00:12:53,173
and the queen of candy,
Dilly Balsam.
285
00:12:53,276 --> 00:12:55,031
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Dilly Balsam.
286
00:12:55,068 --> 00:12:56,981
- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Ned.
287
00:12:57,316 --> 00:12:58,981
He's the lord of the pies.
288
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,030
Oh, of course!
289
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:05,111
That little pie place with
the quaint crust roof.
290
00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:08,332
I do hope Billy apologized
for all this commotion today.
291
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,442
If by "apologized," you mean
292
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:11,813
he pretended to be
somebody he's not
293
00:13:11,848 --> 00:13:13,440
so he could lure us into
your sugar shack...
294
00:13:13,477 --> 00:13:14,733
Actually, I think
it's really nice
295
00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:16,761
to have a bit of excitement
in the neighborhood.
296
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,391
I'm so glad you
see it that way.
297
00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:21,961
Do you like excitement,
pie man?
298
00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:24,512
The pie maker did
not like excitement,
299
00:13:24,598 --> 00:13:27,343
but he knew to be polite
to a new neighbor.
300
00:13:27,645 --> 00:13:29,940
I feel excitement is so much
better than a lot of things.
301
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,622
Do you know what
I find exciting?
302
00:13:32,277 --> 00:13:35,601
Com...pe...ti...tion.
303
00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:39,361
I hope you're not afraid
of a little competition.
304
00:13:39,697 --> 00:13:42,111
I don't really see
us as competitors.
305
00:13:42,615 --> 00:13:45,263
Is what's in that box the
amazing smell I'm smelling?
306
00:13:45,287 --> 00:13:47,582
Oh, is what you're smelling
georgia peach cobbler?
307
00:13:47,615 --> 00:13:50,142
- That's exactly it.
- Then I'm the guilty georgia peach.
308
00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:52,090
It's from the pie hole,
across the street,
309
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,072
as in "shut your,"
but one sweet whiff,
310
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:56,121
and people usually
want to "open their."
311
00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:57,792
That sounds delicious.
Let's go.
312
00:13:58,718 --> 00:14:00,292
Bye.
313
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,592
I'm sorry.
314
00:14:08,228 --> 00:14:10,803
This is for you.
Happy grand opening.
315
00:14:11,607 --> 00:14:13,273
That was interesting.
316
00:14:13,526 --> 00:14:16,230
I admire
your s-s-s-s-s-s-strategy.
317
00:14:16,528 --> 00:14:17,730
Strategy?
318
00:14:17,805 --> 00:14:19,981
Sorry. My sister stutters
when she's upset.
319
00:14:20,278 --> 00:14:22,070
Why is she upset?
Why are you upset?
320
00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:24,583
Pretty nervy bringing your
p-p-pie up in all my business,
321
00:14:24,618 --> 00:14:26,200
stealing my c-c-c-customers.
322
00:14:26,458 --> 00:14:28,252
Oh, I-I think this is
a misunderstanding.
323
00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:30,340
If you want a w-w-war,
then that's what you'll get.
324
00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:31,581
A war? No.
325
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,472
A war's what we don't want.
We just came by to say h-h-hello.
326
00:14:34,505 --> 00:14:36,411
Are you making f-f-f-fun of me?
327
00:14:36,715 --> 00:14:38,713
- She's eaking out-fray.
- What?
328
00:14:38,927 --> 00:14:40,333
Freaking out.
329
00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:44,052
You haven't seen anything.
Ame on-g-g-g-gay.
330
00:14:44,428 --> 00:14:45,422
What?
331
00:14:45,477 --> 00:14:46,883
- Game on.
- Game on.
332
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,133
- Game on?
- Game on! Now get out!
333
00:14:51,886 --> 00:14:52,552
Out.
334
00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:01,901
That should shake them up.
335
00:15:02,155 --> 00:15:05,033
I liked the stuttering.
It was off-putting and odd.
336
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,890
Amateurs.
337
00:15:06,926 --> 00:15:09,021
We'll have them out of
business in a week.
338
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,172
You still think
it's a coincidence?
339
00:15:28,307 --> 00:15:30,251
I don't think someone
purposely damaged
340
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:32,432
our sign to read..."pie ho."
341
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:36,472
Hello. That crazy candy
lady threatened us.
342
00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:38,720
They're trying to steal
all of our business.
343
00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:40,453
We've only had one
customer today.
344
00:15:40,486 --> 00:15:42,202
We can't just sit
here and do nothing.
345
00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:43,110
Yes, we can.
346
00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:44,432
Candy might be sweet,
347
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,413
but it's a traveling carnival
blowing through town.
348
00:15:46,448 --> 00:15:47,402
Pie is home.
349
00:15:47,577 --> 00:15:49,071
People always come home.
350
00:15:49,285 --> 00:15:51,132
Come on, Digby.
Let's bake some pies.
351
00:15:56,627 --> 00:15:59,041
Why won't he do
anything about this?
352
00:15:59,256 --> 00:16:01,430
I don't know. He's been acting
strange since yesterday.
353
00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,333
Does he seem distant to you?
354
00:16:03,835 --> 00:16:06,253
Would you like to discuss
his fear of intimacy,
355
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,773
his dark moods,
that thing he does when he's lying?
356
00:16:08,808 --> 00:16:11,091
I can be a very good
resource for you on Ned,
357
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,613
if you don't mind me clawing
out your eyeballs while we talk.
358
00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:14,801
Really?
359
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,860
- Why do you want me to care?
- Because you really like him.
360
00:16:17,897 --> 00:16:19,201
Wouldn't it just rock 'n' roll
361
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:21,570
if liking someone meant
they had to like you back?
362
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,172
Of course,
that'd be a different universe,
363
00:16:23,306 --> 00:16:25,312
and something else
would probably suck.
364
00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:28,903
Refill?
365
00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:33,611
This isn't really my
shade of lipstick.
366
00:16:33,915 --> 00:16:35,811
I am going to have
to cite you for it.
367
00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,333
Cite all you want, sweetie.
368
00:16:37,436 --> 00:16:39,300
I'm standing right
here in front of you.
369
00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:40,782
I don't think you understand.
370
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,921
Andrew Brown, health inspector.
371
00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:47,340
Excuse me,
but don't you need to notify us first?
372
00:16:47,596 --> 00:16:49,550
Not if it's a
surprise inspection.
373
00:16:49,765 --> 00:16:51,261
Surprise!
374
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,101
Effective hair restraint...
375
00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:05,310
...Not worn.
376
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:11,781
Live animal found in the
facility's food area.
377
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:21,793
You need to open this.
378
00:17:22,256 --> 00:17:24,333
Wait. I can explain
what's in there.
379
00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,740
No, I can't.
But you should definitely wait anyway.
380
00:17:26,778 --> 00:17:28,840
It's okay.
We never use this room.
381
00:17:29,177 --> 00:17:31,673
Yes, we do. I do -- sometimes.
382
00:17:31,966 --> 00:17:34,380
Open the door. Please.
383
00:17:47,908 --> 00:17:50,073
Olive Snook was unaware
384
00:17:50,105 --> 00:17:51,972
that the pie maker
could bring dead fruit
385
00:17:52,007 --> 00:17:54,282
back to life
for his pies.
386
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,953
Why is this room filled
with rotten fruit?
387
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,163
That inspection
was no accident.
388
00:18:05,545 --> 00:18:07,643
We are being attacked
by a vicious nutbag.
389
00:18:07,835 --> 00:18:09,001
We need to retaliate
390
00:18:09,058 --> 00:18:11,340
with a swift and
overwhelming show of force.
391
00:18:11,597 --> 00:18:13,352
I don't retaliate.
I'm not a retaliar.
392
00:18:13,387 --> 00:18:14,430
You let your emotions get away
393
00:18:14,465 --> 00:18:16,130
from and everything
falls apart.
394
00:18:16,476 --> 00:18:17,862
You really believe that,
don't you?
395
00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:19,142
Yes. I've seen it happen.
396
00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:20,720
She's coming to get us.
397
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,573
That's exactly what
I'm talking about.
398
00:18:22,605 --> 00:18:24,151
Nobody's coming to get anybody.
399
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,560
But she is.
400
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,573
We need to talk.
401
00:18:37,076 --> 00:18:39,492
- You're not welcome here.
- Of course she is.
402
00:18:39,748 --> 00:18:40,822
All are welcome.
403
00:18:41,247 --> 00:18:43,262
Uh, would you like a
slice of triple berry?
404
00:18:43,297 --> 00:18:44,541
Oh, thank you.
405
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,791
You teach me something,
pie baker.
406
00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:49,421
Olive.
407
00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:57,840
I wanted to apologize for
my outburst yesterday.
408
00:18:58,225 --> 00:19:00,302
- It was inappropriate.
- Thank you.
409
00:19:00,686 --> 00:19:02,370
And I'm sorry for pretending
to be a stutterer.
410
00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:03,813
You were pretending?
411
00:19:04,188 --> 00:19:05,982
That's mean,
and it's disrespectful.
412
00:19:06,236 --> 00:19:07,871
I like to mislead
my competition --
413
00:19:07,906 --> 00:19:09,621
encourage underestimation
with the idea
414
00:19:09,656 --> 00:19:11,233
that I have an impediment.
415
00:19:11,298 --> 00:19:13,322
But I know that stuttering can
be a very serious disorder,
416
00:19:13,355 --> 00:19:15,751
and I only chose to mimic it
because I'm legally blind.
417
00:19:15,785 --> 00:19:17,071
She's doing it again.
418
00:19:17,495 --> 00:19:19,242
- You need to leave.
- Oh, come on.
419
00:19:19,615 --> 00:19:21,391
We all know that the
world of small business
420
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,160
is nothing but a big,
sexy game.
421
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,542
Call me old-fashioned,
but I like to win.
422
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,960
There are plenty of customers
for both of us, Dilly.
423
00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:30,623
Why can't we both win?
424
00:19:30,925 --> 00:19:32,471
Because I like your crust roof,
425
00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,522
your square footage,
and your corner location,
426
00:19:34,558 --> 00:19:36,852
even if your sign does go
on the fritz now and then.
427
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:40,512
Oh, and I was so,
so sorry to hear about your inspection.
428
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,301
You didn't come here to
apologize at all, did you?
429
00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:47,601
No. I came by to tell you that
it's only gonna get worse.
430
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,512
You've shown yourself
to be vulnerable
431
00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,021
and careless competitors,
432
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,030
so you can count on more
surprise inspections
433
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,900
and disruptions
to your business.
434
00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:57,252
- Why are you doing this to us?
- What I see, I want.
435
00:19:57,285 --> 00:20:00,451
What I want, I take.
Nothing scares me.
436
00:20:00,788 --> 00:20:02,682
I've looked death in
the eye and survived
437
00:20:02,716 --> 00:20:04,582
to open a successful
candy franchise.
438
00:20:04,876 --> 00:20:06,620
- Can you say that?
- Actually, yes.
439
00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:08,751
Not the "candy franchise" part,
but --
440
00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:11,142
I won't let you bully
me into a fight, Dilly.
441
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,773
- That's not how I settle things.
- Then you'll lose.
442
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,632
Thanks for the pie.
443
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:22,843
What is up with that... witch?
444
00:20:23,227 --> 00:20:25,681
What was up with that
witch was this --
445
00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:29,433
Dilania "Dilly" Balsam
and brother Billy's lives
446
00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:31,191
were turned upside down
447
00:20:31,258 --> 00:20:33,522
when their parents
died of bird flu.
448
00:20:33,718 --> 00:20:35,442
Dilly felt adrift,
449
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:38,532
until she resolved to
confront her greatest fear.
450
00:20:38,865 --> 00:20:40,942
She set out across
Bodega bay,
451
00:20:41,045 --> 00:20:43,640
determined to look the
killers of her parents
452
00:20:43,717 --> 00:20:46,830
in their beady-eyed,
feathered faces.
453
00:20:47,128 --> 00:20:50,292
Then, just as she was about
to reach the other side,
454
00:20:50,346 --> 00:20:52,331
her worst nightmare.
455
00:20:57,967 --> 00:21:01,173
Dilly Balsam survived
the attack,
456
00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:03,473
to be rescued by
a local merchant,
457
00:21:03,538 --> 00:21:06,091
who offered her a
very sweet treat.
458
00:21:06,218 --> 00:21:08,812
She realized that
her love of taffy
459
00:21:09,107 --> 00:21:10,600
and fear of nothing
460
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,973
would serve her
well in business.
461
00:21:13,395 --> 00:21:17,901
And Balsam's Bittersweets
Taffy & Sweets Emporium
462
00:21:18,198 --> 00:21:19,651
was born.
463
00:21:27,625 --> 00:21:28,740
What?
464
00:21:30,997 --> 00:21:32,750
You think I should
do something.
465
00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:34,790
We're just saying.
466
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:35,800
No.
467
00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,841
You let your anger win and
you engage the crazy person,
468
00:21:37,878 --> 00:21:39,322
then you're no
different than they are.
469
00:21:39,356 --> 00:21:41,050
People say, "Hey.
470
00:21:41,156 --> 00:21:43,103
Look at that.
There's two crazy people fighting."
471
00:21:43,138 --> 00:21:44,173
I will not engage.
472
00:21:44,515 --> 00:21:45,693
Yeah, but if you don't engage,
473
00:21:45,728 --> 00:21:47,402
pretty soon,
people will start saying,
474
00:21:47,435 --> 00:21:48,983
"Hey, look at that crazy person
475
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:50,833
eating that guy just sitting there,
doing nothing."
476
00:21:50,865 --> 00:21:52,901
We've got to give her a
dose of her own medicine.
477
00:21:52,935 --> 00:21:54,852
Chuck, don't go over
to the dark side.
478
00:21:55,197 --> 00:21:56,653
Revenge never works.
479
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:01,782
I got to go.
480
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:04,703
Me too.
481
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,493
Well, this can't end well.
482
00:22:14,045 --> 00:22:14,913
Wait!
483
00:22:16,218 --> 00:22:17,472
Didn't think you'd do this.
484
00:22:17,507 --> 00:22:19,661
Thought you were all goody-good,
apple pie, and baseball.
485
00:22:19,695 --> 00:22:21,771
Well, only insofar as I know
how to use a baseball bat
486
00:22:21,805 --> 00:22:24,101
to make someone's face
look like an apple pie.
487
00:22:28,435 --> 00:22:29,803
I am sorry about Ned.
488
00:22:30,146 --> 00:22:31,802
Well, not about Ned,
but about upsetting you.
489
00:22:31,837 --> 00:22:33,281
I thought you were
okay about it.
490
00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:34,521
So did I.
491
00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,563
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!
492
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,360
Here's what we're not gonna do.
493
00:22:42,457 --> 00:22:44,203
We're not gonna start with
all this puppy-dog-face,
494
00:22:44,236 --> 00:22:46,293
"get back on your horse
and nd a man" crapola.
495
00:22:46,326 --> 00:22:48,082
'Cause maybe you forgot,
but Ned was the horse
496
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:49,392
and you pushed me off.
So maybe,
497
00:22:49,428 --> 00:22:51,010
just maybe,
I need to get a little angry
498
00:22:51,048 --> 00:22:52,473
before I can be
all happy about it.
499
00:22:52,506 --> 00:22:53,741
Okay. I get it.
500
00:22:53,796 --> 00:22:55,251
Thank you.
501
00:22:58,087 --> 00:22:59,290
There's no alarm system.
502
00:22:59,585 --> 00:23:01,083
- Got a credit card?
- Why?
503
00:23:01,187 --> 00:23:02,930
- You know how to pick a lock?
- No.
504
00:23:03,095 --> 00:23:05,141
You're gonna need to
pay for the damages.
505
00:23:09,807 --> 00:23:12,103
- Cool.
- Come on!
506
00:23:17,286 --> 00:23:18,101
Here.
507
00:23:21,365 --> 00:23:22,313
You ready?
508
00:23:22,356 --> 00:23:24,110
- For Ned.
- For Ned.
509
00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:31,322
I hate rats.
510
00:23:32,707 --> 00:23:34,373
So do health inspectors.
511
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:37,252
- We're done here.
- We're so done.
512
00:23:51,057 --> 00:23:52,851
Don't mess with the pie hose.
513
00:23:55,978 --> 00:23:57,602
He cleaned for hours,
514
00:23:57,668 --> 00:23:59,672
yet he could not
wipe away the fear
515
00:23:59,707 --> 00:24:02,053
the battle with
Balsam's Bittersweets...
516
00:24:02,907 --> 00:24:04,941
...Would only turn
more bitter.
517
00:24:14,627 --> 00:24:17,451
Chuck? I thought you
were Dilly Balsam.
518
00:24:18,046 --> 00:24:19,990
Why are you dressed
like a cat burglar?
519
00:24:20,467 --> 00:24:22,510
Why are you dressed
like a fish m***monr?
520
00:24:22,716 --> 00:24:25,141
- I'm scrubbing the kitchen.
- I was out with Olive.
521
00:24:25,178 --> 00:24:26,922
You know what?
She is really great.
522
00:24:28,058 --> 00:24:29,260
Chuck?
523
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:32,020
Sorry. My whole body's
pumping with adrenaline.
524
00:24:33,937 --> 00:24:35,312
Are you upset with me?
525
00:24:35,357 --> 00:24:37,473
The truth he was
hiding from Chuck
526
00:24:37,515 --> 00:24:39,771
was one spot he
could not scrub out.
527
00:24:39,797 --> 00:24:41,270
What's freaking me out is the
528
00:24:41,307 --> 00:24:43,533
ruthless woman trying to
shut down the pie hole.
529
00:24:43,568 --> 00:24:44,902
This was true.
530
00:24:45,236 --> 00:24:47,901
- It has nothing to do with us.
- This was not.
531
00:24:48,536 --> 00:24:50,873
Are you sure you wouldn't
feel better if you just...
532
00:24:50,905 --> 00:24:52,492
fought back a little?
533
00:24:52,588 --> 00:24:54,920
Whis it so hard for you to
see that the brave thing here
534
00:24:54,955 --> 00:24:56,870
is not to fight back?
535
00:24:57,207 --> 00:24:59,851
Well, in that case,
Olive and I were cowards tonight.
536
00:24:59,878 --> 00:25:02,272
We may have set loose some
inappropriate vermin.
537
00:25:05,968 --> 00:25:07,460
Where are you going?
538
00:25:07,845 --> 00:25:09,213
To clean up another mess.
539
00:25:09,635 --> 00:25:10,711
Ned.
540
00:25:11,015 --> 00:25:12,343
Ned?
541
00:25:14,558 --> 00:25:17,970
The expression "like a
rat in a candy store,"
542
00:25:18,316 --> 00:25:21,182
though slightly less popular,
is equally true.
543
00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:31,240
As Ned came to try to undo what
Chuck and Olive had done,
544
00:25:31,538 --> 00:25:33,462
he found not
fighting the fight
545
00:25:33,555 --> 00:25:35,991
was becoming more work
than fighting it.
546
00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:37,281
Gross.
547
00:25:59,477 --> 00:26:00,973
Not good.
548
00:26:06,105 --> 00:26:07,350
Billy?
549
00:26:10,115 --> 00:26:11,531
Billy, were you dead?
550
00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:17,320
Oh! Wait.
551
00:26:17,957 --> 00:26:18,821
Freeze!
552
00:26:19,535 --> 00:26:20,992
You killed my brother!
553
00:26:25,798 --> 00:26:27,800
Chuck, this place is
crawling with police.
554
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,042
You could be recognized.
555
00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,260
She shouldn't be here.
556
00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:31,892
I've been saying
that for weeks.
557
00:26:32,096 --> 00:26:33,621
I had to come.
This is all my fault.
558
00:26:33,656 --> 00:26:35,070
- It's not your fault.
- Yes, it is --
559
00:26:35,106 --> 00:26:37,270
if I'd have listened to you when
you told me not to retaliate,
560
00:26:37,308 --> 00:26:38,773
you wouldn't have to
clean up all my mess.
561
00:26:38,806 --> 00:26:40,272
- I did a terrible thing.
- Okay.
562
00:26:40,308 --> 00:26:43,152
- So it's a little your fault.
- Well, maybe now you're even.
563
00:26:43,187 --> 00:26:44,530
- What do you mean "even"?
- Nothing.
564
00:26:44,565 --> 00:26:46,033
What happened at
the candy shop?
565
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:47,951
I was collecting the rats,
and I was about to leave,
566
00:26:47,985 --> 00:26:49,701
when I saw Billy dead
in the taffy vat.
567
00:26:49,736 --> 00:26:50,813
Did you...
568
00:26:51,116 --> 00:26:52,362
Yeah.
569
00:26:52,658 --> 00:26:55,541
But he couldn't talk on account
of his mouth was full of taffy.
570
00:26:55,576 --> 00:26:58,110
I heard the police, and I...
him again.
571
00:26:58,786 --> 00:27:00,242
They caught me red-handed.
572
00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:03,541
Well, me and Nancy
Shrew will get you out.
573
00:27:11,678 --> 00:27:14,513
I mean, it's a broad generalization,
but my guess is,
574
00:27:14,566 --> 00:27:16,732
an attractive man who
makes pies for a living
575
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:19,460
shouldn't even spend a short
amount of time in prison.
576
00:27:20,345 --> 00:27:23,223
Without the pie maker and
with little to go on,
577
00:27:23,607 --> 00:27:26,852
Emerson Cod and Chuck set
out to seek the truth.
578
00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:31,690
- You gonna... do something?
- I am doing something.
579
00:27:32,366 --> 00:27:35,361
- But we can't wake him up.
- I know that.
580
00:27:35,698 --> 00:27:38,092
- Don't you think I know that?
- I'm just saying.
581
00:27:38,325 --> 00:27:40,961
It's been a while since you
solved a crime for real --
582
00:27:40,996 --> 00:27:43,241
You know,
the old-fashioned way.
583
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,450
I did fine the
old-fashioned way,
584
00:27:45,506 --> 00:27:47,732
and I'd do fine now if I
could just think without you
585
00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:49,413
blabber-jabbering.
586
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:53,653
This what you do when
you're in here --
587
00:27:53,685 --> 00:27:55,833
muttering with the bodies?
Bicker and moan?
588
00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:58,721
We were just observing
the body for any, uh...
589
00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:01,181
visible signs.
590
00:28:01,558 --> 00:28:03,310
- I like my way better.
- What's that?
591
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,060
Cutting the sucker open.
592
00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:06,893
I got to do an autopsy.
593
00:28:07,527 --> 00:28:09,643
Oh, good.
You two check under the hood.
594
00:28:09,728 --> 00:28:12,040
I'm gonna do a full background
check on Billy Balsam,
595
00:28:12,078 --> 00:28:15,570
see if anybody else wanted to put
him in a permanent candy coma.
596
00:28:19,327 --> 00:28:20,453
Olive...
597
00:28:21,296 --> 00:28:22,452
Olive?
598
00:28:26,836 --> 00:28:28,330
Olive, it's okay.
599
00:28:30,466 --> 00:28:33,003
- I brought you a pie.
- Thank you.
600
00:28:34,176 --> 00:28:35,960
It has a special filling.
601
00:28:43,478 --> 00:28:45,550
Please take that away.
602
00:28:50,315 --> 00:28:52,900
As Olive considered how
the inch-thick glass
603
00:28:53,036 --> 00:28:55,503
prevented her from holding
the man she still loved,
604
00:28:55,538 --> 00:28:57,680
she realized that
for the pie maker,
605
00:28:57,708 --> 00:29:01,362
there might always be an
invisible barrier between them.
606
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:03,030
No known enemies?
607
00:29:03,786 --> 00:29:05,452
Well, that's not good.
608
00:29:05,785 --> 00:29:08,212
You're never gonna believe
what we saw at the au--
609
00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:10,042
- How did you know?
- Got it.
610
00:29:10,585 --> 00:29:12,623
- How'd I know what?
- About the finger.
611
00:29:12,925 --> 00:29:14,223
Oh, I learned it early on.
612
00:29:14,505 --> 00:29:15,713
See, it's sort of the universal
613
00:29:15,748 --> 00:29:17,742
"Hush up,
I'm on the damn phone" symbol.
614
00:29:17,968 --> 00:29:19,210
Oh, well, it must also be
615
00:29:19,236 --> 00:29:21,071
the "Billy Balsam bit
off his killer's finger,
616
00:29:21,105 --> 00:29:23,190
'cause we found it in his
stomach at the autopsy" symbol.
617
00:29:23,225 --> 00:29:24,603
A real finger?
618
00:29:24,686 --> 00:29:26,830
Good -- all we got to do is
lift a print off that finger
619
00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:29,051
and match it to who done it and
get our boy out the slammer.
620
00:29:29,087 --> 00:29:31,353
There's no fingerprint.
The gastric acid in his stomach ate away
621
00:29:31,388 --> 00:29:33,071
at the skin,
erased any trace of a print.
622
00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:34,853
Police say the ail's gone cold.
623
00:29:35,156 --> 00:29:37,522
So whoever killed Billy is
walking around with nine fingers,
624
00:29:37,555 --> 00:29:39,090
thinking they got
away with murder.
625
00:29:39,127 --> 00:29:40,530
Footloose and finger-free.
626
00:29:41,827 --> 00:29:43,952
The pie maker
considered how not
627
00:29:44,107 --> 00:29:46,263
telling Chuck the
truth about her father
628
00:29:46,295 --> 00:29:48,643
was a lot like being
locked in a prison.
629
00:29:48,876 --> 00:29:51,521
Then he considered how
being locked in a prison
630
00:29:51,557 --> 00:29:55,922
was actually much worse than some
silly metaphor about truth.
631
00:29:56,548 --> 00:29:59,211
Hey, baker boy.
You got a new roommate.
632
00:30:01,476 --> 00:30:03,003
Burly Bruce?
633
00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:05,343
Aren't you the guy
who got me locked up?!
634
00:30:05,685 --> 00:30:07,043
The pie maker
was surprised,
635
00:30:07,077 --> 00:30:10,350
that here, perhaps 30 seconds
from his own violent death,
636
00:30:10,407 --> 00:30:12,561
there were no
grand revelations,
637
00:30:12,655 --> 00:30:15,061
but rather only one
simple thought.
638
00:30:15,357 --> 00:30:17,151
- Chuck.
- It is you.
639
00:30:17,486 --> 00:30:20,520
But it was the thought
that saved his life.
640
00:30:20,908 --> 00:30:23,410
You know, you never told me
how you met your girlfriend.
641
00:30:23,445 --> 00:30:25,533
Sheila, right?
642
00:30:27,287 --> 00:30:28,951
It's a funny story.
643
00:30:29,588 --> 00:30:31,160
We met carpooling.
644
00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:34,082
I was tired of being stuck
in traffic all the time.
645
00:30:34,377 --> 00:30:36,551
Rule is, you need two or
more for the diamond lane,
646
00:30:36,586 --> 00:30:39,170
so I answered a personal
ad in a magazine.
647
00:30:40,178 --> 00:30:42,382
Next thing I know,
she's at my door.
648
00:30:42,475 --> 00:30:45,473
Now, the first few weeks,
we commuted together every day.
649
00:30:45,808 --> 00:30:47,680
She never said much.
650
00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:50,223
Then one night,
I'm fixing dinner at my place,
651
00:30:50,257 --> 00:30:52,811
and I think,
"I wonder what she's doing."
652
00:30:52,908 --> 00:30:54,982
So I invite her over.
What the hell?
653
00:30:55,016 --> 00:30:56,772
I did it as a friend, you know?
654
00:30:57,108 --> 00:30:58,812
- You know how that is.
- Uh, yeah.
655
00:30:59,108 --> 00:31:00,581
Something happened
at that dinner.
656
00:31:00,618 --> 00:31:01,940
I don't know what it was.
657
00:31:02,075 --> 00:31:04,191
The magic of romance, right?
658
00:31:04,535 --> 00:31:06,453
But there was
definitely a spark.
659
00:31:06,527 --> 00:31:08,571
We had so much in common.
660
00:31:08,828 --> 00:31:10,662
We talked for hours.
661
00:31:10,877 --> 00:31:13,012
One thing led to another,
and before you know it,
662
00:31:13,047 --> 00:31:14,693
she was basically
living with me.
663
00:31:14,797 --> 00:31:16,251
I love her so much.
664
00:31:16,587 --> 00:31:18,222
That's why I took
the fall for her.
665
00:31:18,257 --> 00:31:19,573
I know you love Sheila, Bruce,
666
00:31:19,605 --> 00:31:21,501
but maybe this is a
chance to move on,
667
00:31:21,795 --> 00:31:24,461
find someone... full of life.
668
00:31:24,765 --> 00:31:26,423
No. Sheila's my girlfriend.
669
00:31:26,768 --> 00:31:29,590
I don't care if they don't
parole me for 80 years.
670
00:31:29,898 --> 00:31:31,472
I'll find her again.
671
00:31:31,857 --> 00:31:33,571
The truth could
knock all it wanted,
672
00:31:33,605 --> 00:31:36,353
but burly Bruce would
never open the door.
673
00:31:36,685 --> 00:31:38,733
And maybe that
was for the best.
674
00:31:39,065 --> 00:31:41,161
I'm sure Sheila will
still be there, Bruce,
675
00:31:41,195 --> 00:31:42,731
waiting for you.
676
00:31:45,575 --> 00:31:47,530
17 miles away,
677
00:31:48,118 --> 00:31:50,952
the search to finger
the fingerless killer
678
00:31:51,327 --> 00:31:53,412
of Billy
Balsam continued.
679
00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:55,633
No missing-digit
emergencies reported
680
00:31:55,917 --> 00:31:57,960
at any of the local
hospitals last night.
681
00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,972
Maybe the killer didn't
realize they lost a finger,
682
00:32:00,005 --> 00:32:02,101
so they never reported
it to the hospital.
683
00:32:02,177 --> 00:32:04,021
That would narrow
our list of suspects
684
00:32:04,057 --> 00:32:05,881
down to only insanely
stupid people.
685
00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:08,051
Some amputees have
phantom limbs.
686
00:32:08,105 --> 00:32:09,953
They think the severed
body part is still there,
687
00:32:09,985 --> 00:32:11,551
even when it's not. It's like a
688
00:32:11,605 --> 00:32:13,302
psychological
protection mechanism
689
00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:14,841
to save them from the trauma.
690
00:32:16,398 --> 00:32:18,430
We need to go back
to Bittersweets.
691
00:32:18,776 --> 00:32:20,922
We need to get into
the scene of the crime.
692
00:32:21,068 --> 00:32:23,062
How are we gonna
get past Dilly?
693
00:32:26,406 --> 00:32:27,730
Hi ya.
694
00:32:28,745 --> 00:32:30,821
You got a lot of spunk
coming back here.
695
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,531
I'm surprised you're here.
696
00:32:32,718 --> 00:32:34,910
Yeah, well,
it's what Billy would want.
697
00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:37,540
Can I talk to you for
a second in private?
698
00:32:39,868 --> 00:32:41,501
What are you doing?
699
00:32:43,005 --> 00:32:45,591
I mean outside
private-- outside.
700
00:32:46,255 --> 00:32:48,301
I know this has been
so hard for you,
701
00:32:48,357 --> 00:32:50,511
and I feel your pain. It's --
702
00:32:50,605 --> 00:32:52,841
death is the worst.
703
00:32:58,726 --> 00:33:00,982
This dude bit off
somebody's finger
704
00:33:01,607 --> 00:33:05,310
and was found faceup
in this taffy.
705
00:33:05,906 --> 00:33:07,522
Which means...
706
00:33:07,867 --> 00:33:09,863
He probably wasn't
attacked from behind.
707
00:33:09,995 --> 00:33:11,240
Right.
708
00:33:11,536 --> 00:33:13,280
So there must have
been a struggle.
709
00:33:13,956 --> 00:33:16,742
I'd say more like
a full-on brawl.
710
00:33:17,206 --> 00:33:19,242
This table was moved.
711
00:33:24,358 --> 00:33:25,583
Wrong kitchen.
712
00:33:25,885 --> 00:33:27,723
You know,
marble's a very interesting stone.
713
00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:30,712
It's resistant to grease and oils,
which leave stains.
714
00:33:30,766 --> 00:33:33,112
So, if it's not cleaned
properly and right away
715
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:35,942
and someone were to put
their hand on it, say, um...
716
00:33:36,098 --> 00:33:38,431
In the heat of a scuffle...
717
00:33:38,768 --> 00:33:40,571
Then the oils on
their hands should...
718
00:33:40,606 --> 00:33:45,102
...Leave imprints
on the surface.
719
00:33:51,787 --> 00:33:55,113
- Two hands.
- Nine fingerprints.
720
00:33:55,216 --> 00:33:58,410
One taffy-drowning murderer.
721
00:33:58,628 --> 00:33:59,770
I just want you to know
722
00:33:59,796 --> 00:34:01,721
that even though we got
off on the wrong foot,
723
00:34:01,758 --> 00:34:04,302
we are still your neighbors,
and we are here for you.
724
00:34:04,338 --> 00:34:05,840
And I realize we may
not be able to smile
725
00:34:05,878 --> 00:34:07,573
and wave at each
other for a while
726
00:34:07,586 --> 00:34:09,352
because of events
that have occurred.
727
00:34:09,385 --> 00:34:10,552
Yeah, I broke your sign
728
00:34:10,607 --> 00:34:12,563
and called the city
health inspector hotline,
729
00:34:12,596 --> 00:34:14,590
and you all killed my brother.
730
00:34:14,975 --> 00:34:17,760
So we agree to
disagree on that.
731
00:34:23,815 --> 00:34:25,572
Do you want proof?
Do you want me to show you
732
00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:27,530
something that proves exactly
what happened to Billy?
733
00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:28,860
Let me show you.
734
00:34:32,448 --> 00:34:35,031
- What? It's an empty car trunk.
- No, it's not.
735
00:34:36,328 --> 00:34:37,700
Oh, crap!
736
00:34:41,127 --> 00:34:42,913
Help! Help!
737
00:34:46,746 --> 00:34:49,882
Her hands--
she's wearing mittens.
738
00:34:50,176 --> 00:34:52,093
Put the gun down, lady.
739
00:34:52,348 --> 00:34:54,692
The pie-making murderer
couldn't finish the job,
740
00:34:54,726 --> 00:34:57,022
so he sent his girlfriend and
the muscle to finish me off?
741
00:34:57,056 --> 00:34:59,052
Ned didn't kill anyone,
and you know it.
742
00:34:59,185 --> 00:35:01,073
We're just trying to
find out the truth.
743
00:35:01,105 --> 00:35:03,752
The only truth you need to
know is I miss my brother.
744
00:35:09,947 --> 00:35:13,231
- You got 10 fingers.
- You're not the killer.
745
00:35:13,618 --> 00:35:15,790
And I don't think you
want to be one, either.
746
00:35:15,825 --> 00:35:18,020
Let us take the evidence
to the authorities.
747
00:35:18,117 --> 00:35:20,411
We'll find out who really
killed your brother.
748
00:35:26,585 --> 00:35:28,121
All right. You can go.
749
00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:32,940
If you can put whoever killed
my brother behind bars,
750
00:35:33,138 --> 00:35:34,420
I will be happy.
751
00:35:34,848 --> 00:35:36,222
I thought I wanted revenge,
752
00:35:36,517 --> 00:35:39,590
but all I really need
is j-j-j-justice.
753
00:35:41,555 --> 00:35:44,811
- Did she just stutter?
- Yep.
754
00:35:46,607 --> 00:35:49,103
And take your trunk
monkey with you.
755
00:35:50,238 --> 00:35:51,942
The facts were these--
756
00:35:52,445 --> 00:35:55,533
After Olive was freed from
Dilly Balsam's trunk...
757
00:35:55,945 --> 00:35:57,243
Stinks in there.
758
00:35:57,575 --> 00:36:00,331
...The authorities explained
that the time it would take
759
00:36:00,366 --> 00:36:02,362
for the dismembered
digit to pass
760
00:36:02,626 --> 00:36:05,472
through the digestive system
of Billy Balsam and have
761
00:36:05,508 --> 00:36:08,592
its fingerprints erased by the
acid contained in the stomach
762
00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:11,040
put the time of death
of one Billy Balsam
763
00:36:11,385 --> 00:36:14,170
hours earlier than the
time the pie maker
764
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:16,592
was found hovering
over the body.
765
00:36:16,925 --> 00:36:19,491
Fingerprint analysis of
the sheet of candy fruit
766
00:36:19,525 --> 00:36:22,851
exposed the nine-fingered
culprit to be none other than...
767
00:36:23,147 --> 00:36:26,521
Andrew Brown,
health inspector,
768
00:36:26,816 --> 00:36:29,572
whom, it was revealed upon
further investigation,
769
00:36:29,606 --> 00:36:32,981
had been blackmailing
Dilly and Billy Balsam.
770
00:36:33,238 --> 00:36:36,690
Having paid off the inspector to
conduct a surprise inspection
771
00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:39,530
that led to the pie hole's
temporary shutdown,
772
00:36:39,568 --> 00:36:42,453
brown had demanded a bribe,
lest he reveal
773
00:36:42,508 --> 00:36:46,082
Billy and Dilly's dastardly
deed and shut them down, too.
774
00:36:46,155 --> 00:36:50,331
Unwilling to be bullied,
Billy Balsam balked.
775
00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:00,650
Health inspector Andrew
Brown is now believed to be
776
00:37:00,708 --> 00:37:03,703
the number-one suspect in the
murder of Balsam's Bittersweets
777
00:37:03,737 --> 00:37:06,563
Taffy & Sweets emporium
co-owner Billy Balsam.
778
00:37:06,935 --> 00:37:10,033
Thanks to the work of private
investigator Emerson Cod,
779
00:37:10,107 --> 00:37:13,133
the owner of the local pie hole
has been cleared of all charges
780
00:37:13,167 --> 00:37:14,662
and released from jail.
781
00:37:14,738 --> 00:37:17,042
Authorities are conducting an
extensive search for Andrew Brown,
782
00:37:17,076 --> 00:37:18,782
who remains at large.
783
00:37:18,876 --> 00:37:21,822
Up next, can apes drive?
We'll find out.
784
00:37:24,206 --> 00:37:25,570
Dead girl walking.
785
00:37:26,078 --> 00:37:27,782
Walking right toward me.
786
00:37:28,205 --> 00:37:29,541
Are you okay?
787
00:37:29,957 --> 00:37:31,661
Sure. I mean, I am now.
788
00:37:31,877 --> 00:37:33,331
Ned.
789
00:37:34,797 --> 00:37:37,873
- That hug goes double for me.
- Oh, double. Double hug.
790
00:37:39,928 --> 00:37:41,630
- Olive.
- What?
791
00:37:47,555 --> 00:37:48,681
Come on.
792
00:37:53,357 --> 00:37:55,732
Doing this work without you...
793
00:37:57,867 --> 00:37:59,612
Well, it actually
ends up meaning
794
00:37:59,687 --> 00:38:01,443
I'm doing a whole lot of work.
795
00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:04,491
Not that I can't do it,
'cause I can.
796
00:38:05,826 --> 00:38:08,622
- I just don't like it.
- Glad to be back.
797
00:38:09,547 --> 00:38:11,623
It's not all that bad in jail.
798
00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:14,962
I had a lot of time to think,
and I came to a decision.
799
00:38:15,335 --> 00:38:17,683
Everyone talks about how
the truth will set you free,
800
00:38:17,717 --> 00:38:20,023
but burly Bruce was free to
love someone 'cause he was
801
00:38:20,057 --> 00:38:22,643
so good at lying to himself
about that doll being real.
802
00:38:22,677 --> 00:38:24,263
Which is to say...
803
00:38:24,556 --> 00:38:26,010
"Go, lying."
804
00:38:26,046 --> 00:38:29,472
Or at least "Yay to
not telling the truth."
805
00:38:33,937 --> 00:38:36,101
I'm not gonna tell
Chuck about her dad.
806
00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:40,811
I just heard that as though
it came out of my own mouth.
807
00:38:40,867 --> 00:38:43,692
- Oh, wait. It did.
- Well, you were right.
808
00:38:44,077 --> 00:38:46,280
- Good night.
- Good night.
809
00:38:51,707 --> 00:38:53,332
Welcome home.
810
00:38:53,507 --> 00:38:57,043
Safely home and cleared of
having committed any crime,
811
00:38:57,427 --> 00:39:01,173
the pie maker enjoyed a
celebratory piece of pie
812
00:39:01,225 --> 00:39:03,053
and went up to bed.
813
00:39:19,237 --> 00:39:21,321
- Olive.
- Fredo.
814
00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:23,653
I knew it was you.
815
00:39:47,556 --> 00:39:49,762
Sometimes, a
crime of passion
816
00:39:49,807 --> 00:39:52,472
is not realizing the
passion in time,
817
00:39:52,737 --> 00:39:56,602
while other times, the crime is
not seeing the world as it is.
818
00:39:58,147 --> 00:40:03,863
But most crimes of passion
are actually a crime.
819
00:40:17,005 --> 00:40:21,173
So, people can actually feel
their limbs after they're gone.
820
00:40:21,467 --> 00:40:23,753
It's weird,
but I kind of like it.
821
00:40:24,006 --> 00:40:25,342
I know. Me too.
822
00:40:28,055 --> 00:40:31,182
When I was in jail,
I think you were my phantom limb.
823
00:40:33,435 --> 00:40:35,391
- I was?
- You were.
824
00:40:35,727 --> 00:40:37,971
It felt like you were
with me the whole time.
825
00:40:40,608 --> 00:40:42,403
I'm so glad you're back.
826
00:40:43,735 --> 00:40:45,863
The pie maker
had never felt
827
00:40:45,908 --> 00:40:48,953
closer to another person
as he did at that moment.
828
00:40:49,055 --> 00:40:51,951
He felt a rush of
emotion overcome him...
829
00:40:52,168 --> 00:40:53,572
Chuck.
830
00:40:53,915 --> 00:40:56,081
...Causing one
crime of passion
831
00:40:56,117 --> 00:40:59,413
that came in the form
of a confession.
832
00:40:59,716 --> 00:41:01,250
I killed your dad.
833
00:41:04,247 --> 00:41:08,252
Thanks to Raceman
for the transcript
834
00:41:08,467 --> 00:41:12,041
Subtitles made by the Bloc Team
For www.forom.com
64578
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