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[Music]
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sorry we're late Reba but I went to pick
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up M Booker and as usual she wasn't
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ready M Booker well I just want to hear
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how my maiden name sounds you know
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because with the divorce pending I
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haven't decided whether or not I'm going
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to keep my married name do me a favor
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okay
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don't I'm just saying I already have one
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ex-wife named Mrs Hart I'm not giving
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out these names as a Parting
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Gift oh would you two knock it off you
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were hard enough to take when you were
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happily
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married so where are van and Cheyenne oh
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I cannot wait to see the look on their
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faces when we tell them that we are
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getting them furniture for their new
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house we are not getting them furniture
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for their new house I Am Me by myself
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because if you remember you guys didn't
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want to spend the money and be part of
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the gift yeah but we can can still be a
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part of the look on their
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faces hello you guys we got you
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furniture for your new
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house you
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Furniture tears of joy stress
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relieved wait a minute it was for me I I
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I I was I put it oh Mom it doesn't
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matter who did
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was did it
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all okay Mrs SI yeah of course you
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did it's okay you're a winner too
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a thank you thank you so much and you
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know what mean the world to me what's
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that if you came with us to help pick
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out the furniture oh I'd love to
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Cheyenne I have excellent taste besides
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my third cousin is friends with Crazy
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Larry the insane couch
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king uh-huh okay look call me and get a
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tape measure we are going to go measure
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for furniture we don't need a tape
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measure my feet are exactly a foot long
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how weird is
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that seriously if you find a couch at a
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lower price Larry has to give you a ride
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on his elephant so wait a minute if you
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like the couch you don't get to ride the
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elephant what a
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rip so much for horning in on my gift
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huh I'm horning in I think somebody ow
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somebody else a buck 75 for the
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card see you guys later this is a
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wonderful time for our family Brock our
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oldest daughter is buying her first
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house and this little hot shot it's
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getting ready to go to
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college oh well I guess this would be
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the time then to tell you that I decided
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I'm not going to college come
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again not going to
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college I just feel like it would be a
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waste of time I'd rather focus on my
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music I'll see you guys later I have
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band
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practice
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okay don't do anything dumb Reba don't
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do anything dumb Crazy Larry didn't go
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to college and he is filthy rich oh
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[Music]
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just my RS are planted in the past
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though my life is changing fast who I am
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is who I want to
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be a single mom who works too hard who
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loves her kids who never stops with
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gentle hands and the Heart of a
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fire I'm a
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[Music]
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Survivor oh van look at this store they
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have some really nice
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thing yeah I don't know I'm not really
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impressed check that hello vibrating
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chair Dan we are not buying a vibrating
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chair why not
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Cheyenne oh it's
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cozy oh there you
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go that's a spot chair
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be
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serious come on honey look at this couch
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this gets really beautiful and it goes
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with our house all right you get the
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couch it doesn't plug in I'll just get
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this chair man it doesn't work that way
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okay they have to be in the same room
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they have to actually match all right
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fine we'll compromise we'll get a
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vibrating
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couch there is no such thing as a
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vibrating couch really are you sure
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new idea vibrating
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couches come on Van I think this
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furniture is for us try it
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out
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what oh
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all right now this this is not going to
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work out why not because this is the
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most uncomfortable couch I've ever sat
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in plus it's not my taste come on man
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you cannot be suggesting that you
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actually care about the furniture all
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right you know what sh I don't want to
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fight this is a big decision so let's
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just flip for it no all right rock paper
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scissors we not to flip a coin to pick
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our furniture or do rock paper scissors
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Rambo Ben okay I'm thinking of a number
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you know what forget it forget about
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this whole thing forget about the
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furniture we'll just live in an empty
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house and we'll eat out the Floor shyan
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come
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back excuse me sir do you have any
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vibrating couches sorry sir I'm afraid
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not excellent this conversation never
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happened
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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I just cannot believe Kira okay Reba
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before you go all Rambo on Kira about
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this band stuff just remember that a lot
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of musicians didn't go to college and
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there's Elton John Paul McCartney Sher
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Bruce Springsteen I mean the list just
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goes on and on and do you know what
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those people have in common they're not
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my kid that's
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what and I want my child to have an
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education or education that's overrated
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all you need is an accent and you sound
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smart hello Reaper I'm quite busy right
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now can you have my secrety call you
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it's wonderful you know hello do us all
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a bit of a favor what you Mrs Booker and
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zip it there's a good girl
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good knock it
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off it is vital that we show a united
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front we have got to show her that we
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are all of One mind got it
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kir it's a trap follow your dreams run
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be free oh no is this one of those you
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have to go to college interventions no
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it's a free and open exchange of ideas
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plus you won't be able to leave the room
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until you agree with us and I do need to
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let you know that we are all of One mind
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well to be fair I think that you should
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be able to do whatever you want we are
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all of One mind Kira we just want to
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make sure that you know what you're
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getting into right the concerts the
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parties the limo to private jets I mean
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what kind of life is
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that Barbara jeene remind me to show you
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that thing about my fist ins the side of
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your
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head okay you look re I'm just trying to
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show her that it's not all bad yes but
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only the people that make it to the top
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get all that stuff I think what your mom
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is trying to say is that there are no
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guarantees okay yes this can be a really
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hard life now baby I know what you're
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going through my parents had the same
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talk with me when I was your age and
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wanted to join the touring company of A
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Chorus
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Line oh so this isn't an intervention as
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much as a coming out
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party hey honey as a straight man I
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would have cleaned up on that tour okay
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okay all right I think we're missing the
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point here Kira this is the time in your
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life when the decisions you make will
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impact your future I'm just worried if
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the band doesn't make it you won't have
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the options you need so you're saying I
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should think of college as a safety net
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yes what a perfect way of saying it yes
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a safety net yeah yeah the problem with
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a safety net is that it's always there
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if you
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fall well yes dear that's why we call it
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a safety
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net and you think she's College
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material I don't want a safety net I
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want the pressure of having to make it
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or crashing and burning a honey up
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that's just crazy it's how a lot of
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artists feel well here's how a lot of
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artists parents feel you're going to
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college and that's that you can't make
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me I'm 18 oh but you still live here and
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as long as you live here you will do
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exactly what we think is best sounds
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like we have a problem oh no there's no
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problem you just do the right thing and
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everything will work
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out hey Cara ready to go to Studio yeah
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hey stitch do you mind if I Crush at
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your place for a little while yeah it's
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cool with me dog liked you great
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problem solved I'll be out by
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Saturday I wonder if the dog is a person
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or the
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[Music]
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dog well great job Reba now not only is
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our daughter not going to college but
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she's moving in with some punk with the
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long hair and the break dancing and the
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yeah yeah yeah devil
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music she's not going anywhere first of
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all she doesn't know it yet but she is
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so
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grounded you know what call her on her
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cell and tell her that if she doesn't
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get her butt home right now that you are
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kicking her out how can I do that she
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already left then tell her you are
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kicking her
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in what does that even mean I don't know
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I am obviously panicking
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when I was her age I joined this church
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group in Utah oh lord well they were
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super friendly and they had these really
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big families and instead of my parents
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letting me follow my dreams one night at
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a dance they showed up in a van and just
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carried me home in a
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sack although there's a good chance I'm
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still married to Father Al
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okay that's it that's it that's what
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happens when kids get to make their own
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decisions I'm going to call the cops and
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tell them what that your 18-year-old has
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left home that's not a
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crime well it should be a crime why
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isn't it a crime because we don't live
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in Utopia Rea we live in Suburbia where
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life is
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cheap can't call the cops can't make
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moving out of crime somebody come up
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with something well this is kind of
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weird but there may not be anything we
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can do so our daughter makes a terrible
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decision with lifelong implications and
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we just have to sit here and take it it
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kind of looks that way
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yeah wow this parenting stuff is
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certainly not for sissies that's
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changing in some
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states just like that we lost all of our
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power over well I'm not going to sit by
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and lose the power to keep my daughter
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from doing something stupid but Reba
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there's nothing you can do well let me
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tell you this there may be nothing I can
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do but I'm going to go down there and
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yell at her until one of us is
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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crying hey cheyen what happened to you
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in the car took me 6 hours to get home
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on the bus I've been to parts of this
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city that you don't want to
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see but being on the bus gave me time to
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think H hang on a second new idea
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deodorant you can spray on other
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people you can't spray things on other
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people van they will arrest
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you research laws regarding sprain
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things on other
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people well
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look I'm sorry what happened in the
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furniture store okay doesn't matter yes
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it does matter cheyen it does matter cuz
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I was wrong all right I was wrong I
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don't have any taste I said that because
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I thought I should but I was wrong and
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you're right I
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stink and I was never mistaken for a
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gay and when it comes to the house you
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can make all the decisions okay does
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that make you feel better no why not I
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don't want to leave my
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mommy what Ben we cannot live without
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her I mean we we were at the furniture
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store and she wasn't there and we
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couldn't pick out a freaking couch how
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are we going to live without her so this
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is what this is all about you're afraid
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of leaving your mom yes she has always
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been there when we needed her help your
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mom isn't so hot you know a lot of the
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time I bet she was just winging
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it okay van you're not helping me here
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cheyen come here listen do you know why
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we're going to be okay do you know why
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cuz your mother has taught us everything
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she knows even when she's not there it's
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like she's there she's like a voice in
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my head constantly nagging at me okay
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enough
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already you hear that too I thought I
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was the only one that's why we're going
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to be okay because we got red in our
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head okay everything's going to work out
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trust me really I
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promise Thank you new idea talking Reba
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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doll Kira what a coincidence I was just
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dropping by hoping I could score some
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wacky to
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backy haha what's that come on in thanks
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for the
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offer I just wanted to come by and see
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where you'd uh run away to I'm 18 I'm
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not running away I'm moving out and
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maybe me moving out is the best thing
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for both of us oh really well I checked
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with myself and it
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isn't
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hey sorry I'm late you are a crazy
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driver Miss Leadfoot bar G what are you
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doing here I did want you to come over
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here and Bully the dreams out of Kira so
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I followed you this is between Kira and
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me well I will be as quiet as a mouse
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you won't even know I'm here hey
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drums look here I know this has been
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tough and you and I haven't seen exactly
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eye to eye but you have to know there's
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one thing that I want for you more than
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anything else in the world and that's
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I want you to be happy every parent
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wants her kid to be
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happy well playing music is what's going
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to make me happy but you don't want me
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to do that okay Kira I'm going to give
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you the deep dark secret of
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parenting we always say that we want our
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kids to be happy but do you know what we
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really want obedient robot children
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we want our kids to be safe and I know
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that makes me a square or a drag or
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whatever word you kids are coming up
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with nowadays lame they say
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lame I get it all the time
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I you don't need to worry about me well
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tough crap because I always will always
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that's what I do I'm a mom well then how
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am I ever supposed to be able to make a
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mistake you're not you're never supposed
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to have any problems you're supposed to
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have a perfect life and that's why I
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want you to always listen to me and yes
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I know how ridiculous this
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is Mom listen to
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me I'm not scared I feel okay in this
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world I feel safe and that's because of
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how you raised
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me I must have done something terribly
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terribly
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wrong please Mom just want me to be
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happy happy you already made me
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safe I am happy for you Kieran I want
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you to be
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happy come on let's go home
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[Music]
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hey
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Cara I'm really glad you came home with
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me look honey I know it's a little
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boring around here but I think it's very
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important for you to have a stable
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family environment and five six seven
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and eight and step kick step B J turn
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fussy H come on Jake concentrate there
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are 600 other eighth graders who want
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your place on the line
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boy maybe I'll go back to
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stitches CRA behind
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you and five six seven and eight and
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step K step ball chain turn FY
26883
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