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Hello. I'd like to show you guys
30 seconds of the best day of my life.
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(Applause)
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So that was El Capitan
in California's Yosemite National Park,
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and in case you couldn't tell,
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I was climbing by myself without a rope,
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a style of a climbing
known as free soloing.
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That was the culmination
of a nearly decade-long dream,
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and in the video I'm over
2,500 feet off the ground.
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Seems scary? Yeah, it is,
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which is why I spent so many years
dreaming about soloing El Cap
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and not actually doing it.
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But on the day that that video was taken,
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it didn't feel scary at all.
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It felt as comfortable and natural
as a walk in the park,
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which is what most folks
were doing in Yosemite that day.
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Today I'd like to talk about
how I was able to feel so comfortable
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and how I overcame my fear.
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I'll start with a very brief version
of how I became a climber,
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and then tell the story
of my two most significant free solos.
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They were both successful,
which is why I'm here.
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(Laughter)
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But the first felt largely unsatisfying,
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whereas the second, El Cap, was by far
the most fulfilling day of my life.
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Through these two climbs,
you'll see my process for managing fear.
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So I started climbing in a gym
when I was around 10 years old,
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which means that my life
has been centered on climbing
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for more than 20 years.
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After nearly a decade
of climbing mostly indoors,
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I made the transition to the outdoors
and gradually started free soloing.
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I built up my comfort over time
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and slowly took on
bigger and more challenging walls.
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And there have been
many free soloists before me,
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so I had plenty of
inspiration to draw from.
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But by 2008, I'd repeated
most of their previous solos in Yosemite
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and was starting to imagine
breaking into new terrain.
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The obvious first choice was Half Dome,
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an iconic 2,000-foot wall that
lords over the east end of the valley.
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The problem, though also the allure,
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was that it was too big.
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I didn't really know how to prepare
for a potential free solo.
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So I decided to skip the preparations
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and just go up there
and have an adventure.
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I figured I would rise to the occasion,
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which, unsurprisingly,
was not the best strategy.
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I did at least climb the route
roped up with a friend two days before
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just to make sure
that I knew roughly where to go
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and that I could physically do it.
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But when I came back
by myself two days later,
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I decided that I didn't
want to go that way.
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I knew that there was a 300-foot variation
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that circled around
one of the hardest parts of the climb.
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I suddenly decided to skip the hard part
and take the variation,
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even though I'd never climbed it before,
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but I immediately began to doubt myself.
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Imagine being by yourself
in the dead center of a 2,000-foot face,
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wondering if you're lost.
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(Laughter)
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Thankfully, it was
pretty much the right way
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and I circled back to the route.
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I was slightly rattled,
I was pretty rattled,
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but I tried not to let it
bother me too much
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because I knew that all the hardest
climbing was up at the top.
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I needed to stay composed.
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It was a beautiful September morning,
and as I climbed higher,
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I could hear the sounds of tourists
chatting and laughing on the summit.
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They'd all hiked up
the normal trail on the back,
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which I was planning on using
for my descent.
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But between me and the summit
lay a blank slab of granite.
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There were no cracks
or edges to hold on to,
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just small ripples of texture
up a slightly less than vertical wall.
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I had to trust my life to the friction
between my climbing shoes
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and the smooth granite.
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I carefully balanced my way upward,
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shifting my weight back and forth
between the small smears.
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But then I reached a foothold
that I didn't quite trust.
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Two days ago, I'd have just
stepped right up on it,
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but that would have been with a rope on.
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Now it felt too small and too slippery.
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I doubted that my foot
would stay on if I weighted it.
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I considered a foot further to the side,
which seemed worse.
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I switched my feet and tried
a foot further out.
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It seemed even worse.
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I started to panic.
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I could hear people laughing
on the summit just above me.
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I wanted to be anywhere but on that slab.
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My mind was racing in every direction.
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I knew what I had to do,
but I was too afraid to do it.
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I just had to stand up on my right foot.
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And so after what felt like an eternity,
I accepted what I had to do
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and I stood up on the right foot,
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and it didn't slip, and so I didn't die,
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and that move marked the end
of the hardest climbing.
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And so I charged from there
towards the summit.
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And so normally when you summit Half Dome,
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you have a rope and a bunch
of climbing gear on you,
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and tourists gasp and they
flock around you for photos.
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This time I popped over the edge
shirtless, panting, jacked.
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I was amped, but nobody batted an eye.
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(Laughter)
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I looked like a lost hiker
that was too close to the edge.
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I was surrounded by people
talking on cell phones and having picnics.
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I felt like I was in a mall.
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(Laughter)
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I took off my tight climbing shoes
and started hiking back down,
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and that's when people stopped me.
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"You're hiking barefoot?
That's so hard-core."
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(Laughter)
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I didn't bother to explain,
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but that night in my climbing journal,
I duly noted my free solo of Half Dome,
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but I included a frowny face
and a comment, "Do better?"
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I'd succeeded in the solo
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and it was celebrated
as a big first in climbing.
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Some friends later made a film about it.
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But I was unsatisfied.
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I was disappointed in my performance,
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because I knew that I had
gotten away with something.
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I didn't want to be a lucky climber.
I wanted to be a great climber.
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I actually took the next year or so
off from free soloing,
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because I knew that I shouldn't
make a habit of relying on luck.
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But even though
I wasn't soloing very much,
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I'd already started to think about El Cap.
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It was always in the back of my mind
as the obvious crown jewel of solos.
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It's the most striking wall in the world.
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Each year, for the next seven years,
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I'd think, "This is the year
that I'm going to solo El Cap."
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And then I would drive into Yosemite,
look up at the wall, and think,
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"No frickin' way."
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(Laughter)
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It's too big and too scary.
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But eventually I came to accept that
I wanted to test myself against El Cap.
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It represented true mastery,
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but I needed it to feel different.
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I didn't want to get away with anything
or barely squeak by.
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This time I wanted to do it right.
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The thing that makes El Cap
so intimidating
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is the sheer scale of the wall.
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Most climbers take three to five days
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to ascend the 3,000 feet
of vertical granite.
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The idea of setting out
up a wall of that size
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with nothing but shoes and
a chalk bag seemed impossible.
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3,000 feet of climbing represents
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thousands of distinct
hand and foot movements,
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which is a lot to remember.
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Many of the moves I knew
through sheer repetition.
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I'd climbed El Cap maybe 50 times
over the previous decade with a rope.
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But this photo shows my preferred
method of rehearsing the moves.
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I'm on the summit,
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about to rappel down the face
with over a thousand feet of rope
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to spend the day practicing.
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Once I found sequences
that felt secure and repeatable,
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I had to memorize them.
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I had to make sure that they were
so deeply ingrained within me
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that there was no possibility of error.
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I didn't want to be wondering
if I was going the right way
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or using the best holds.
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I needed everything to feel automatic.
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Climbing with a rope
is a largely physical effort.
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You just have to be strong enough
to hold on and make the movements upward.
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But free soloing
plays out more in the mind.
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The physical effort is largely the same.
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Your body is still climbing the same wall.
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But staying calm
and performing at your best
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when you know that
any mistake could mean death
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requires a certain kind of mindset.
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(Laughter)
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That's not supposed to be funny,
but if it is, it is.
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(Laughter)
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I worked to cultivate that mindset
through visualization,
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which basically just means imagining
the entire experience of soloing the wall.
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Partially, that was to help me
remember all the holds,
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but mostly visualization
was about feeling the texture
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of each hold in my hand
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and imagining the sensation of my leg
reaching out and placing my foot just so.
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I'd imagine it all like a choreographed
dance thousands of feet up.
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The most difficult part of the whole route
was called the Boulder Problem.
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It was about 2,000 feet off the ground
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and consisted of the hardest
physical moves on the whole route:
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long pulls between poor handholds
with very small, slippery feet.
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This is what I mean by a poor handhold:
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an edge smaller than the width
of a pencil but facing downward
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that I had to press up into with my thumb.
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But that wasn't even the hardest part.
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The crux culminated in a karate kick
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with my left foot over to the inside
of an adjacent corner,
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a maneuver that required a high degree
of precision and flexibility,
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enough so that I'd been doing
a nightly stretching routine
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for a full year ahead of time
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to make sure that I could comfortably
make the reach with my leg.
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As I practiced the moves,
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my visualization turned
to the emotional component
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of a potential solo.
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Basically, what if I got up there
and it was too scary?
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What if I was too tired?
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What if I couldn't quite make the kick?
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I had to consider every possibility
while I was safely on the ground,
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so that when the time came and I was
actually making the moves without a rope,
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there was no room for doubt to creep in.
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Doubt is the precursor to fear,
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00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:08,256
and I knew that I couldn't experience
my perfect moment if I was afraid.
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I had to visualize and rehearse
enough to remove all doubt.
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But beyond that, I also
visualized how it would feel
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if it never seemed doable.
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What if, after so much work,
I was afraid to try?
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What if I was wasting my time
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and I would never feel comfortable
in such an exposed position?
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There were no easy answers,
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but El Cap meant enough to me
that I would put in the work and find out.
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Some of my preparations were more mundane.
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This is a photo of my friend Conrad Anker
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climbing up the bottom of El Cap
with an empty backpack.
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We spent the day climbing together
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to a specific crack
in the middle of the wall
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that was choked with loose rocks
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that made that section
difficult and potentially dangerous,
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00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,456
because any missed step
might knock a rock to the ground
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00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,216
and kill a passing climber or hiker.
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00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,096
So we carefully removed the rocks,
loaded them into the pack
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00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,376
and rappelled back down.
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Take a second to imagine
how ridiculous it feels
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to climb 1,500 feet up a wall
just to fill a backpack full of rocks.
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(Laughter)
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It's never that easy to carry
a pack full of rocks around.
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It's even harder on the side of a cliff.
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00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,776
It may have felt silly,
but it still had to get done.
225
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,496
I needed everything to feel perfect
226
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,096
if I was ever going to climb
the route without a rope.
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00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,936
After two seasons of working specifically
toward a potential free solo of El Cap,
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00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,856
I finally finished all my preparations.
229
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,406
I knew every handhold
and foothold on the whole route,
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00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,856
and I knew exactly what to do.
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00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,336
Basically, I was ready.
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00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:24,880
It was time to solo El Cap.
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00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,936
On June 3, 2017,
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I woke up early, ate my usual
breakfast of muesli and fruit
235
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,656
and made it to the base
of the wall before sunrise.
236
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,656
I felt confident as I looked up the wall.
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I felt even better as I started climbing.
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About 500 feet up, I reached a slab
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very similar to the one that had
given me so much trouble on Half Dome,
240
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,416
but this time was different.
241
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,016
I'd scouted every option, including
hundreds of feet of wall to either side.
242
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,336
I knew exactly what to do
and how to do it.
243
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,680
I had no doubts.
I just climbed right through.
244
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,536
Even the difficult and strenuous
sections passed by with ease.
245
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,480
I was perfectly executing my routine.
246
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,856
I rested for a moment
below the Boulder Problem
247
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,456
and then climbed it just as I had
practiced so many times with the rope on.
248
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,496
My foot shot across to the wall
on the left without hesitation,
249
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,960
and I knew that I had done it.
250
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,776
Climbing Half Dome had been a big goal
251
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,016
and I did it,
252
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,896
but I didn't get what I really wanted.
253
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,216
I didn't achieve mastery.
254
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,896
I was hesitant and afraid, and it wasn't
the experience that I wanted.
255
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,576
But El Cap was different.
256
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,336
With 600 feet to go, I felt like the
mountain was offering me a victory lap.
257
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,976
I climbed with a smooth precision
258
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,936
and enjoyed the sounds of the birds
swooping around the cliff.
259
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,456
It all felt like a celebration.
260
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,896
And then I reached the summit
261
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,456
after three hours and 56 minutes
of glorious climbing.
262
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,176
It was the climb that I wanted,
and it felt like mastery.
263
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,416
Thank you.
264
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,720
(Applause)21489
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